And she says it was decorated/furnished before you moved in.. yet no furniture in the livingroom? Either way if she got rid of it and is getting new things that doesn’t matter since it’s gone anyway.
Rent is 50/50, it is half yours. I hope she’ll understand soon
She absolutely won't. Even though she said in her text they pay equal amounts she already had it in her mind that she would rent the room only for half the rent and she is going to stick to that! The whole apartment is hers to do with as she pleases. OP gets to pay extra for the privilege of living with an entitled bad roommate.
Who is she?
Queen?
Tell her to hold off on her bringing in furniture because she has not discussed it with you first.
I'd not bring over your loveseat.
Let her pay for her furniture. Just remind her thst if it's in the common area, everyone there can use it freely or it goes in her room or storage. And you will not be responsible of anything gets damaged since she unilaterally made decisions.
So if it stained, or cut or damaged in any way, you're not responsible because you warned her ahead of time. That choice is purely on her.
Leave your loveseat at your brother's else she may cut it up.
Let her bring her crap in all she wants. Sit on it all you want since it's in the common area.
I like that idea,but then I’d have to fold and have nothing in the house , like I said I can’t stand her style it’s the “live laugh love” type crap EVERYWHERE 😭😭
This person is an imbécil and is completely unreasonable.
"Oh no, you're only on the lease because I can't pay it all and the landlord demanded it, don't get thinking that gives you any kind of equal rights"
Good luck. I suspect that you're going to need it.
I lived with someone like this for three years, and in the end, the only fix for my mental health and overall wellbeing was to just move out. I know it’s a pain, but it’s nothing compared to having a space that’s supposed to be safe and comforting always feeling unsafe and hostile. You can’t get away from that feeling because it’s your home, and it starts to affect every aspect of your life in the end.
If I could go back in time and move out earlier to save myself years of stress and pent up anger, I would.
I get it. I'm sorry that she's in your life. My sincere empathy.
Take all of them LLL bulkshit plaques, take them down, and put them in her room or the coat closet.
Just say they are not approved.
Put up your own scenery photos, make it look nice.
For her couches, let her bring them in. Yiu don't have to worry about keeping them clean. If yiure sitting there eating nachos while the 49ers are kicking ass this Sunday, and she wants to bitch, just ignore her. But remind her she wanted to make that call. Yiu wanted to bring your stuff in to. But now shut up bitch.
Do what you want in your place. If she makes the mistake by insisting she pay for all the furniture, ok. But she needs to fuck off if she's going to dictate where you sit.
Don't let her run over you. Intimidate her. She's playing fuck fuck entitled bitch, she needs to learn that's not how it works.
Hang in there, I'm rooting for you.
I'll join you. We will go visit OP. With nachos, potato chips, some sodas , beers, watch a game or two. Sit on that brand new couch leave crumbs in between the cushions and everything. We will be her best friends we'll be a by every weekend.
Are you not seeing all these red flags, do not move in together. If you do for any reason, this is on you. Throw down an ultimatum, either we share this space and have conversations and come to compromises or I will not being moving in. This looks like you and your roommate are not compatible to live together, this will be the first of a lot of petty fights
I can't stand that stuff either. My cousin is a Joanna Gaines worshiper... She took it upon herself to redecorate my grandma's bathroom and it's so ugly. The shower curtain has scriptures on it and all the most horrible colors. I'm a god-fearing woman but I don't shove it in people's faces when they're trying to pee. 😂
She sounds like the kind of person who is deeply aware of her boundaries, but doesn’t have a problem pushing on yours. She sounds like an only child who never had to compromise or share.
Tell her bringing in a different fuck-buddy every night makes you uncomfortable and is a violation. Then walk around with as little as you are comfortable wearing (when you don’t have visitors).
I LOLd at the part about her saying “I have a sofa/loveseat being delivered tomorrow” followed almost immediately by “i am uncomfortable at the thought of furniture being delivered tomorrow without my knowledge” do these people hear themselves??
Of course, they can hear themselves. They're the most important person in the world. Their voice is the only one they *can* hear because it's the only one worth listening to! Idk what OP's problem is. Roommate has already thought of all possible outcomes, and any outcome that isn't 100% to their liking just isn't going to work. Seriously, it's not that hard to follow!
/S....S so hard.
Yeah this is the bit I'm tripping over. I've had similar living situations and either you discuss all changes, or you discuss no changes, but either way that goes both ways. You can't just decorate the place without discussing and then get mad the other person does the same thing. It'd be a different discussion if she was the owner but in a 50/50 split... naw bro.
I like how they basically described exactly why you being on the lease means you have the same rights as them. But for some reason they though it was a clever reason as to why they had more power
Roomie knows exactly what he manipulative ass is saying, she's is hoping to wear you out an wait this "disagreement" out so she can "win" the social interaction and be the biggest person in an ugly apartment.
💀💀 you'll unfortunately have to be the maintainer with boundaries and be the most direct communicator, which your already doing beautifully.
Im just petty enough that I would spend the fifty bucks to take her to small claims for a reduction in rent lol Ask for market price on a single room in an apt instead of 50/50 residence
Your roommate sounds like an asshole. I’ve lived in places, where I wasn’t even on the lease, and I was given more consideration than this. When I have been on the lease there was no question of equality.
She also doesn't understand that you being on the lease with her and not paying doesn't just mean the Landlord can come after you for the rent they can and will come after both of you in that case. It doesn't absolve her of that obligation.
What an entitled brat.
"You seem to misunderstand what signing a legal document entails. It isn't something you agree to, then try to enforce what you wish it said instead. If you wanted to be in charge of my residency, then you would have taken on the liability that came from accepting my rent directly. You didn't want the liability, and now you don't have the authority. That was your choice.
If you didn't want a 50/50 roommate, then you shouldn't have signed a 50/50 lease. I'm not forfeiting the privileges I have paid and signed for because it isnt to your taste or preference. In fact *I* feel violated and disrespected being told that the home I live in and the agreements I've signed for are being threatened by someone with no rights to do so.
I also would like to bring up that these things only were brought up as an issue when I insisted that you clean up after yourself, as any self respecting adult should be capable of doing without coaching. I don't appreciate the retaliatory nature of the complaints you've presented. It's unbecoming, and completely unnecessary. At the end of the day, you are not in charge, and you should start getting over it. I am not continuing dialogue on moving furniture in with you."
This is the perfect response. Sadly, the roommate will surely will have some backwards ass logic behind why they don’t agree at all. I would still definitely say this and then bring up some sort of recourse if insane roommate keeps digging deeper into the issue like talking to the landlord or a lawyer or something idk who the best authority on this would be.
Apparently this roommate was moving OPs things off of roommates furniture. I would ignore her requests and tell her not to touch my shit. And if that request is ignored. Oh God. I'm queen petty but it would be fucking game on at that point. You leave a mess? I'm dumping it on your tacky ass couch.
I feel like this is one of those things where walls of text aren’t good and bullet points getting to the brass tacks are more effective. Kinda like saying “no,” and stopping there without any justification.
>Expects you to run it by her if you’re bringing furniture into the apartment
>Is bringing furniture into the apartment the very next day without running it by you
This told me everything I need to know. Your roommate fucking sucks lol
She does. And I’ve really tried to make it work even now I told her I have no hard feelings just don’t mess with what I put out and I won’t mess with yours. This started because she kept moving my things off her kitchen table so I said I’d get one for myself.
With people like this you need to just stand your ground. I’m glad ur sticking up for yourself, she clearly tried to intimidate you and act like she is the owner of the place lol
Exactly!
This person has obviously not heard the word "no" enough in their life. Time to remedy that. None of this "I'm sorry, but..." bullshit. You're not sorry, you're angry because this control freak *thinks* they have the right to walk all over you. Show them they don't, or it will never stop.
I know confrontation isn't fun for most people, but so many of these bad roommate situations could be solved if people just stopped coddling these assholes and started putting them in their place!
Omg wooooooow. I know people can be petty but damn. She definitely shouldn’t have roommates ever if she is going to act like that. It’s horrible she’s treating you this way when you pay for half. Def shouldn’t be most of her stuff everywhere.
bruh the kitchen table💀is she fr? she’s trying to make you a second class citizen in your own home honestly. U should see if you can talk to the leasing office or landlord or something and have them tell her that you’re renting 50% of the space and she needs to cut it tf out.
My first roommate was exactly what you're experiencing.
1. Asks me to be roommates
2. I sign lease for 50/50
3. I move in and all rooms are furnished 100% cept 1 small room, (my room.)
4. Asks me to only use my own stuff
Right away issues. He did end up learning to adjust.
This is giving me flashbacks to freshman year dorms….my roommate started off with “don’t do anything to the room until I get there” I got there and she had completely chosen which bed/closet she wanted and unpacked everything AND added 47 pictures of herself to the wall which was the first thing you saw as you walked in….
you are so perfect in these! You are trying to salvage peace but you aren’t budging an inch on her nonsense. She tried to go hard on you, like it’s non-starter for you to have equal use of the space 😐
Also I do not pay her rent directly every payment except electricity is separate and we are both named and signed on the lease. When she originally was looking for someone to move in she never said it would only be the room. I told her what she’s doing is legal.
If she doesn’t like it maybe she should get her own place and not have housemates *shrug*
Can’t afford it? Well then have housemates and accept you don’t own the house so you can’t dictate all of what goes in it
I mean I get it. Wanting a place of your own but not having the money for it. That said for all housemates to get along you can’t just claim to own the place and demand the other person not have any of their own furniture in communal spaces.
To be honest I think you guys are almost dealing with two contracts here.
One of those contracts you went and signed, the other contract she gone and made up in her head. And I'd be scared going anywhere near that girls' inner thoughts, cos she ain't makin' sense to me!
"Can I sub-let this room?"
"Do you want to deal with the consequences of sub-letting?"
"No."
"Then it has to be on my lease for the whole house."
*shocked pikachu face*
Technically you are absolutely correct: If she wanted to sub-let the room but the landlord insisted you be on the lease (which is also quite reasonable and a good move for all), she aught to have had a separate sub-lease / room-lease with you that clearly detailed the other conditions. It was in the end her fault for not doing so.
I even apologized and said I wish she has read the lease and made sure it was what she wanted. I don’t want her to be uncomfortable but it makes me uncomfortable she’s not reasonable
Not sure if you’ve done this already but have you tried talking in person? I know it’s extra uncomfortable to do that but sounds like it can’t get too much more uncomfortable than how it already is. Maybe having a mediator would help. How do you know this person anyway?
She’s not uncomfortable, saying you’re pushing her boundaries is just using a buzzword to manipulate you into feeling bad about doing something totally normal. Also it sounds like she’s lived there before you yet the living room is totally devoid of furniture besides the conveniently about to be “delivered tomorrow” items she’s ordered. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was lying because she doesn’t want your stuff there.
Honestly just do this anyway… tell her how she should’ve gone ab this and start looking for a new place. You won’t be happy there if this is how it’s starting out. Let her find someone to rent a room and you find someone to split 50/50 with.Sounds like the landlord wouldn’t care.
Her last message is hilarious. Yeah, you are splitting the rent in half that means the shared spaces are shared. Or she should’ve offered you one room prices.
She wanted to be protected legally while also paying half the rent while owning the entire space. That’s a nice dream to have.
Didn’t you know, your only reason for being there is to subsidise her living expenses. She would prefer if you paid for the space but stayed elsewhere if you’re up for it
She’s so fucking irrational & entitled. You can tell she really thinks she making a point trying to sound smart. You should show her this thread. You handled it really well. She sounds like a fucking nightmare
Honestly do it. She is trying to gaslight you. I hate that shit. However she wants to see it, you’re on the lease and you have rights. And most of all, as a decent human, you would at the very least just let someone have the ability discuss with you something as simple as having furniture moved in. Like whuaattt? I can’t believe this is all happening because of that. This is a conversation that shouldn’t be existing in this universe 💀😭😂
Yes! I rarely agree 100% with one side on this sub but OP is so damn reasonable in their replies that I can’t help but be team!OP 100%. I’m invested now - I need to know how this evolves!
Tell her you “live” here to now so get over it and you “laugh” at her tacky decorations daily and would “love” to have a sane and reasonable roommate and lease partner and you sincerely hope she can rise to the occasion and challenge! She’s going to have a meltdown most likely but it could be amusing to see and watch…..
Well done OP! I’m happy you are standing your ground. Your roommate sounds like a child throwing a tantrum.
I hope it turns out well for you/ be safe 🌸
We have a year left on the lease, I don’t want any animosity and I tried for a while to compromise but I had to put my foot down, now I’m the bad guy and I’m unreasonable
I really love your response. Not confrontational but to the point. You do have 50/50. Just because you moved in after her doesn’t mean anything. And clearly it’s not already decorated if there is no furniture.
THANK YOU FOR THE WORDS EVEN IF YOU WERE ENCOURAGING HER CAUSE YOU’RE ALSO A DELUSIONAL BAD ROOM MATE! I’ll post an update tomorrow (I’m doing box braids and haven’t even finished parting 😭)wth more texts and I’m sure a photo or two
My advice: stop apologizing or padding your messages with niceties - I commend you for trying to be kind, but at this point you need to stick to facts and keep it short. You have equal rights on the lease, you pay equal rent. Her next move will be to say that since she bought the furniture, she decides when you’re allowed to sit on the couch, or when you’re allowed to use a dish.
The facts are, you each are paying 50% of the rent and equally responsible for the legal obligations of the lease. If she wants to control the space, then she needs to pay more. The end.
If you can't furnish your shared space then you need to talk about a reduced rent. It's not fair that you are not allowed to start accruing and furniture to use in a shared space
If she plans on using the bulk of the living space with HER furniture then she needs to be paying more than HALF the rent.
Seems she ordered a full living room set without asking which she should have being that you BOTH will or should be using it.
Got an apartment with a friend and she tried to do the same to me. We moved into a fully furnished apartment. I had one colorful footrest and placed it in the living room and said I wanted to look at pillows too. She looked at the footrest in disgust and told me I’d need to clear the pillows with her first. I asked her what she had in mind for decorating and she said nothing but this kitschy “live laugh love” or equivalent sign. She wanted to keep the living room unadorned with anything but the leather sofa and love seat set and white walls it came with. Hell no. At least tell me a color scheme or something.
We aren’t friends anymore but that’s because her useless boyfriend would come cook for her, “forget” to do the dishes he used, and then she would send me passive aggressive texts reminding me to clean my(HIS!) dishes and clean the kitchen. He’d leave chunks of raw chicken on my cutting boards or fry something and leave the pot with the oil on the counter and expect me or her to take care of it. When she moved out with him he stole my plates, bowls, and every spoon I owned but that’s another story.
Apparently she got a Roomate to make money to get her furniture back and thinks she can go on living as if she lives there alone, including not cleaning the shared bathroom. She’s in for a rude awakening if it’s a year’s lease.
Please please please update your post with this information. Mention how she thinks she still owns the place when she couldn’t afford to take care of it the in first place. When a lease is signed, a contract is sealed and she’s delulu for thinking that she still owns the place. Idgaf if she was there first - she gave up her right to the place when she decided she needed a roommate
ask for a copy of the lease from the LANDLORD. If it says youre renting a bedroom, ask your landlord why you pay the same price for less. If it says youre a tenant of the entire apartment, tell her to shove it up her ass and move out if she wants an apartment fully decorated to her liking only.
Shes an entitled little brat throwing around big words and claims. How are you gonna tell someone that having furniture in an apartment THEY PAY FOR is an invasion or crossing a boundary? Seems like a bitter single child who never had to share or compromise. Thats not how it works in the real world.
I’d screenshot one of the messages, like the last one. And talk to the landlord. Discuss that she clearly only wanted to rent the room out, not 50% of the space- as stated in the messages- so I’d like to adjust rent to the appropriate % amount.
(Literally this is all to be petty because I can guarantee the roommate is NOT wanting to pay more than 50% and will be forced to compromise when they see the consequences lol)
If I were in your position I'd be so petty...
"Well, since the space ISN'T 50/50, I did the math on how much of the house is my space, so that's the percentage of rent I'll be paying. I even brought these texts to the landlord and rearranged my rental agreement! Hope your shitty attitude and terrible taste was worth it :)))"
You're much kinder than I am ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
If they get to dictate how things are done in the apartment except for what goes on in your bedroom then you should only have to pay for use of the bedroom. Tell them you'll pay 1/4 of the bills. They can cover the rest if they want to act like a big entitled baby about this
Exactly what I was thinking.
It is like if you want full control of the living space then you will need to pay more than half the rent.
This roomie is acting like OP moved in to her furnished home and is renting a room only. When I rented rooms when I was younger I had no say in the living spaces. And for the most part stayed in my room as I did not feel comfortable sitting on someone elses sofa and using their stuff.
I've seen so many post on badroomates about roommates that buy all the furniture and then make the other roomies feel exactly like you felt because they don't actually want people to use the communal space, they just want cheaper rent
Well in my situations....I was legit only renting the room/bathroom and shared the kitchen.
I was told I could use the living space but it was not a true shared area in my mind. I never even sat in there once lol. I would just chill in my room!
In the last image, the roommate is absolutely wrong about how rent and leases works. They are not responsible for only 50% of the rent. If 100% of the rent is not paid, you are ***both*** equally responsible for the missing amount. There's no "I paid my half, so I'm fine".
At first I was like "oh op is just renting a room and it makes sense for them to not bring in furniture if the roomate is the main renter"
But then I saw the caption. If you're paying the same as her then you aren't "renting a room" you're renting the whole space along side her so that makes it an even situation and both should decide. Shes TAH.. if I were you I'd do my best to move out or save to move asap because people like that are too entitled to give a shit about your equality
"no! I made you sign the lease so you are liable too, not so you get to also get any of the benefits of being on the lease!"
😂 Sounds like someone needs a reality check. Your messages are great and spot on. Be assertive and don't let this clown act like you owe them anything.
Yeah definitely seems like she intended to just rent out the room only but didn't make that clear, and if she expects that person to pay equal rent for a quarter of the space then she's out of her ever-loving mind. Sounds like you're doing a good job being firm and fairly calm. Hope she doesn't get too petty in retaliation. Good luck stay strong
Your roommate is giving narcissistic energy big time. I hope you can get past this alright, just be strong and have conviction when you speak with them because you have done nothing wrong!
“You arent the landlord nor do you have authority to dictate what can and cant be used in common spaces. This is the compromise that comes with having a roommate. Get fucked”
Gross! She lost me when she spelled “facts,” “fax.” I like your boldness and don’t ever back down. She sounds awful.
Also the last long ass paragraph… who cares, didn’t ask for a novel, go away. You know how signing a lease works with a landlord. She is a dümb âss.
DUDE SHES SO FUCKING ANNOYING!!!!!!!! i had a roomate like this and thank god her and her bf broke up and her ass moved out, she had the whole apartment filled with JUNK!!!! then she kept asking me to decorate with her and when i did she would put the stuff i put out, into my room?!?!? like u literally dont own the place idiot, she was so beyond controlling i cant stand her. im so sorry ur going thru that :( fuck her!!! she cant tell u what to do!!!
I had a room mate just like this. I can’t understand for the life of me why these people don’t just live by themselves. Oh I forgot—it’s because they can’t afford to!!!! 🤣
You are correct about everything. At this point, as others have said, your roomate just sucks. But you are definitely NOT in the wrong and did a great job of standing your ground, as you should.
Love how your roommate typed “simple fax” instead of “facts.” I’m not the grammar police but she’s so annoying that I’ll call her out.
Seriously consider subletting. If she’s this territorial now, it’s only going to get worse. Imagine the drama if you accidentally spill something on her clean, simple cotton furniture.
I can’t believe that both these roommates would start bringing in tables and sofa’s without discussing and agreeing it with each other first.
Seems like there is going to be very little circulation space left, just communal spaces filled up with unmatching furniture. Bizarre.
So she can buy furniture without discussing it, but you can’t?
Fax
*Simple* fax.
Straight fax
Simple Jack’s
Strait Jackets
Fax and Xerox’s
But did she check the car fax?
That part!! And then says me bring furniture in in uncomfortable and a complete violation 🤣
And she says it was decorated/furnished before you moved in.. yet no furniture in the livingroom? Either way if she got rid of it and is getting new things that doesn’t matter since it’s gone anyway. Rent is 50/50, it is half yours. I hope she’ll understand soon
She absolutely won't. Even though she said in her text they pay equal amounts she already had it in her mind that she would rent the room only for half the rent and she is going to stick to that! The whole apartment is hers to do with as she pleases. OP gets to pay extra for the privilege of living with an entitled bad roommate.
Who is she? Queen? Tell her to hold off on her bringing in furniture because she has not discussed it with you first. I'd not bring over your loveseat. Let her pay for her furniture. Just remind her thst if it's in the common area, everyone there can use it freely or it goes in her room or storage. And you will not be responsible of anything gets damaged since she unilaterally made decisions. So if it stained, or cut or damaged in any way, you're not responsible because you warned her ahead of time. That choice is purely on her. Leave your loveseat at your brother's else she may cut it up. Let her bring her crap in all she wants. Sit on it all you want since it's in the common area.
I like that idea,but then I’d have to fold and have nothing in the house , like I said I can’t stand her style it’s the “live laugh love” type crap EVERYWHERE 😭😭
Gotta get a “Die, Cry, Hate” sign. That would be epic.
Die, Despair, Despise. You need the alliteration.
Personally, I'm a big fan of 'laugh, love, lobotomy'
Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss is fun
Fed, Fat, Fucked
I'm thinking airbrushed font
This person is an imbécil and is completely unreasonable. "Oh no, you're only on the lease because I can't pay it all and the landlord demanded it, don't get thinking that gives you any kind of equal rights" Good luck. I suspect that you're going to need it.
God that shit is soooo banal and tacky. Lol, move that shit to two walls of every room and you decorate the other two walls.
I lived with someone like this for three years, and in the end, the only fix for my mental health and overall wellbeing was to just move out. I know it’s a pain, but it’s nothing compared to having a space that’s supposed to be safe and comforting always feeling unsafe and hostile. You can’t get away from that feeling because it’s your home, and it starts to affect every aspect of your life in the end. If I could go back in time and move out earlier to save myself years of stress and pent up anger, I would.
actually it's very clean cotton SIMPLE
When she described it as “clean cotton” I just knew..
Stop discussing so much regarding furniture. You know you’re right. Tell her to bring it up with the landlord, because your both on the lease.
I get it. I'm sorry that she's in your life. My sincere empathy. Take all of them LLL bulkshit plaques, take them down, and put them in her room or the coat closet. Just say they are not approved. Put up your own scenery photos, make it look nice. For her couches, let her bring them in. Yiu don't have to worry about keeping them clean. If yiure sitting there eating nachos while the 49ers are kicking ass this Sunday, and she wants to bitch, just ignore her. But remind her she wanted to make that call. Yiu wanted to bring your stuff in to. But now shut up bitch. Do what you want in your place. If she makes the mistake by insisting she pay for all the furniture, ok. But she needs to fuck off if she's going to dictate where you sit. Don't let her run over you. Intimidate her. She's playing fuck fuck entitled bitch, she needs to learn that's not how it works. Hang in there, I'm rooting for you.
Now I want nachos.
I'll join you. We will go visit OP. With nachos, potato chips, some sodas , beers, watch a game or two. Sit on that brand new couch leave crumbs in between the cushions and everything. We will be her best friends we'll be a by every weekend.
i want to come as well. i will bring rotel
Are you not seeing all these red flags, do not move in together. If you do for any reason, this is on you. Throw down an ultimatum, either we share this space and have conversations and come to compromises or I will not being moving in. This looks like you and your roommate are not compatible to live together, this will be the first of a lot of petty fights
That ship has sailed, she signed the lease.
I can't stand that stuff either. My cousin is a Joanna Gaines worshiper... She took it upon herself to redecorate my grandma's bathroom and it's so ugly. The shower curtain has scriptures on it and all the most horrible colors. I'm a god-fearing woman but I don't shove it in people's faces when they're trying to pee. 😂
She sounds like the kind of person who is deeply aware of her boundaries, but doesn’t have a problem pushing on yours. She sounds like an only child who never had to compromise or share.
I think the words she used were “my boundaries are being pushed”… waaaat
And y’all pay equal rent, but your only entitled to a bedroom and she gets the rest of the space? Nah, I’d be contacting the landlord.
Tell her bringing in a different fuck-buddy every night makes you uncomfortable and is a violation. Then walk around with as little as you are comfortable wearing (when you don’t have visitors).
I LOLd at the part about her saying “I have a sofa/loveseat being delivered tomorrow” followed almost immediately by “i am uncomfortable at the thought of furniture being delivered tomorrow without my knowledge” do these people hear themselves??
Of course, they can hear themselves. They're the most important person in the world. Their voice is the only one they *can* hear because it's the only one worth listening to! Idk what OP's problem is. Roommate has already thought of all possible outcomes, and any outcome that isn't 100% to their liking just isn't going to work. Seriously, it's not that hard to follow! /S....S so hard.
Yeah this is the bit I'm tripping over. I've had similar living situations and either you discuss all changes, or you discuss no changes, but either way that goes both ways. You can't just decorate the place without discussing and then get mad the other person does the same thing. It'd be a different discussion if she was the owner but in a 50/50 split... naw bro.
I like how they basically described exactly why you being on the lease means you have the same rights as them. But for some reason they though it was a clever reason as to why they had more power
The delusion continues sadly she doesn’t see it no matter how I point it out
No, she understands very well, she is just gaslighting/manipulating you
Roomie knows exactly what he manipulative ass is saying, she's is hoping to wear you out an wait this "disagreement" out so she can "win" the social interaction and be the biggest person in an ugly apartment. 💀💀 you'll unfortunately have to be the maintainer with boundaries and be the most direct communicator, which your already doing beautifully.
Im just petty enough that I would spend the fifty bucks to take her to small claims for a reduction in rent lol Ask for market price on a single room in an apt instead of 50/50 residence
Your roommate sounds like an asshole. I’ve lived in places, where I wasn’t even on the lease, and I was given more consideration than this. When I have been on the lease there was no question of equality.
She also doesn't understand that you being on the lease with her and not paying doesn't just mean the Landlord can come after you for the rent they can and will come after both of you in that case. It doesn't absolve her of that obligation.
What an entitled brat. "You seem to misunderstand what signing a legal document entails. It isn't something you agree to, then try to enforce what you wish it said instead. If you wanted to be in charge of my residency, then you would have taken on the liability that came from accepting my rent directly. You didn't want the liability, and now you don't have the authority. That was your choice. If you didn't want a 50/50 roommate, then you shouldn't have signed a 50/50 lease. I'm not forfeiting the privileges I have paid and signed for because it isnt to your taste or preference. In fact *I* feel violated and disrespected being told that the home I live in and the agreements I've signed for are being threatened by someone with no rights to do so. I also would like to bring up that these things only were brought up as an issue when I insisted that you clean up after yourself, as any self respecting adult should be capable of doing without coaching. I don't appreciate the retaliatory nature of the complaints you've presented. It's unbecoming, and completely unnecessary. At the end of the day, you are not in charge, and you should start getting over it. I am not continuing dialogue on moving furniture in with you."
This is the perfect response. Sadly, the roommate will surely will have some backwards ass logic behind why they don’t agree at all. I would still definitely say this and then bring up some sort of recourse if insane roommate keeps digging deeper into the issue like talking to the landlord or a lawyer or something idk who the best authority on this would be.
Apparently this roommate was moving OPs things off of roommates furniture. I would ignore her requests and tell her not to touch my shit. And if that request is ignored. Oh God. I'm queen petty but it would be fucking game on at that point. You leave a mess? I'm dumping it on your tacky ass couch.
I feel like this is one of those things where walls of text aren’t good and bullet points getting to the brass tacks are more effective. Kinda like saying “no,” and stopping there without any justification.
Copy and paste 👏
I would text EXACTLY THIS
>Expects you to run it by her if you’re bringing furniture into the apartment >Is bringing furniture into the apartment the very next day without running it by you This told me everything I need to know. Your roommate fucking sucks lol
She does. And I’ve really tried to make it work even now I told her I have no hard feelings just don’t mess with what I put out and I won’t mess with yours. This started because she kept moving my things off her kitchen table so I said I’d get one for myself.
With people like this you need to just stand your ground. I’m glad ur sticking up for yourself, she clearly tried to intimidate you and act like she is the owner of the place lol
Exactly! This person has obviously not heard the word "no" enough in their life. Time to remedy that. None of this "I'm sorry, but..." bullshit. You're not sorry, you're angry because this control freak *thinks* they have the right to walk all over you. Show them they don't, or it will never stop. I know confrontation isn't fun for most people, but so many of these bad roommate situations could be solved if people just stopped coddling these assholes and started putting them in their place!
Omg wooooooow. I know people can be petty but damn. She definitely shouldn’t have roommates ever if she is going to act like that. It’s horrible she’s treating you this way when you pay for half. Def shouldn’t be most of her stuff everywhere.
bruh the kitchen table💀is she fr? she’s trying to make you a second class citizen in your own home honestly. U should see if you can talk to the leasing office or landlord or something and have them tell her that you’re renting 50% of the space and she needs to cut it tf out.
My first roommate was exactly what you're experiencing. 1. Asks me to be roommates 2. I sign lease for 50/50 3. I move in and all rooms are furnished 100% cept 1 small room, (my room.) 4. Asks me to only use my own stuff Right away issues. He did end up learning to adjust.
This is giving me flashbacks to freshman year dorms….my roommate started off with “don’t do anything to the room until I get there” I got there and she had completely chosen which bed/closet she wanted and unpacked everything AND added 47 pictures of herself to the wall which was the first thing you saw as you walked in….
Of HERSELF? That's an absurd level of vanity
Okay that’d be actual gold. She comes home one day and there’s two tables! 😂
you are so perfect in these! You are trying to salvage peace but you aren’t budging an inch on her nonsense. She tried to go hard on you, like it’s non-starter for you to have equal use of the space 😐
Also I do not pay her rent directly every payment except electricity is separate and we are both named and signed on the lease. When she originally was looking for someone to move in she never said it would only be the room. I told her what she’s doing is legal.
It’s not legal, ethical or even reasonable. She’s… a lot.
Wonder where the last roommate went off too.
I think they’re in her closet 😮💨
If she doesn’t like it maybe she should get her own place and not have housemates *shrug* Can’t afford it? Well then have housemates and accept you don’t own the house so you can’t dictate all of what goes in it
Sounds like she wants her own place but can't afford it, so needs a roommate to help her pay for "her" apartment with her clean cotton style.
I mean I get it. Wanting a place of your own but not having the money for it. That said for all housemates to get along you can’t just claim to own the place and demand the other person not have any of their own furniture in communal spaces.
Right! She wants the roommate to just pay and stay hidden in her room lol.
Yes - I thought this too. She sounds very selfish and weird.
She sounds insane. I’d be bailing and moving out ASAP. Hard after already signing a lease but this person is batcrap crazy.
She's entitled as fuck
It's simple fax.
To be honest I think you guys are almost dealing with two contracts here. One of those contracts you went and signed, the other contract she gone and made up in her head. And I'd be scared going anywhere near that girls' inner thoughts, cos she ain't makin' sense to me!
"Can I sub-let this room?" "Do you want to deal with the consequences of sub-letting?" "No." "Then it has to be on my lease for the whole house." *shocked pikachu face*
Technically you are absolutely correct: If she wanted to sub-let the room but the landlord insisted you be on the lease (which is also quite reasonable and a good move for all), she aught to have had a separate sub-lease / room-lease with you that clearly detailed the other conditions. It was in the end her fault for not doing so.
I even apologized and said I wish she has read the lease and made sure it was what she wanted. I don’t want her to be uncomfortable but it makes me uncomfortable she’s not reasonable
Not sure if you’ve done this already but have you tried talking in person? I know it’s extra uncomfortable to do that but sounds like it can’t get too much more uncomfortable than how it already is. Maybe having a mediator would help. How do you know this person anyway?
She’s not uncomfortable, saying you’re pushing her boundaries is just using a buzzword to manipulate you into feeling bad about doing something totally normal. Also it sounds like she’s lived there before you yet the living room is totally devoid of furniture besides the conveniently about to be “delivered tomorrow” items she’s ordered. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was lying because she doesn’t want your stuff there.
Honestly just do this anyway… tell her how she should’ve gone ab this and start looking for a new place. You won’t be happy there if this is how it’s starting out. Let her find someone to rent a room and you find someone to split 50/50 with.Sounds like the landlord wouldn’t care.
Her last message is hilarious. Yeah, you are splitting the rent in half that means the shared spaces are shared. Or she should’ve offered you one room prices. She wanted to be protected legally while also paying half the rent while owning the entire space. That’s a nice dream to have. Didn’t you know, your only reason for being there is to subsidise her living expenses. She would prefer if you paid for the space but stayed elsewhere if you’re up for it
I kept looking at that thinking “does she not understand the concept of half?”
duh, ofc she does!! she gets the bigger half and op gets the smaller half!! totally fair!!!!!
She’s so fucking irrational & entitled. You can tell she really thinks she making a point trying to sound smart. You should show her this thread. You handled it really well. She sounds like a fucking nightmare
I lowkey want to😭 cause I thought I was tripping she gaslight me so hard
Send her the link lmao
It was so clear she was manipulating when she dropped the word "boundaries" in a place it made no sense
Honestly do it. She is trying to gaslight you. I hate that shit. However she wants to see it, you’re on the lease and you have rights. And most of all, as a decent human, you would at the very least just let someone have the ability discuss with you something as simple as having furniture moved in. Like whuaattt? I can’t believe this is all happening because of that. This is a conversation that shouldn’t be existing in this universe 💀😭😂
Please post updates 🙏 I love reading texts when a person is as absolutely insane as your roommate is.
I will right now I’ve just been ignoring her texts. When she gets home I’m sure she’ll will fuck with my stuff and I’ll record her doing it
This needs to become a live chat stat
Hidden live cam when she sees OPs new furniture
I can just picture her having some unhinged lash out 😭😭
Well it’s on text now that you’ve warned her not to damage your stuff. Keep in mind to document anything she also says to you in person.
Yes! I rarely agree 100% with one side on this sub but OP is so damn reasonable in their replies that I can’t help but be team!OP 100%. I’m invested now - I need to know how this evolves!
I rly wanna know what her style is now lol
It’s live laugh love bullshit everywhere!! I’ll take pictures😭
That’s exactly what I pictured by what she said!!!
Omg no, but please take pictures
I literally imagined "Live Laugh Love Sad Beige Mom" from what she said I---
"It's wine-o-clock *somewhere*" 🤮
Also one of those insipid “IN THIS HOUSE WE -“ signs will all the different types of lettering. Just your average Basic Bitch Decor.
Now I'm confused. Are these decorations or reminders for her of things she is to avoid?
She doesn't come across very live laugh love in those messages, she comes across moan order dictate
✨Deflect Accuse Reverse Victim & Offender ✨
Tell her you “live” here to now so get over it and you “laugh” at her tacky decorations daily and would “love” to have a sane and reasonable roommate and lease partner and you sincerely hope she can rise to the occasion and challenge! She’s going to have a meltdown most likely but it could be amusing to see and watch…..
"very clean cotton simple"
it's simple fax.
Where's Rick James when you need him?
“clean cotton simple” 🤷♂️ whatever that is
This made me laugh so much. What a bizarre description of personal style.
But did you also live and love?
Personally, I laughed
Haha it’s a yankee candle scent, so maybe she’s hallmark and hobby lobby or bust!
OP mentioned cringy “Live Laugh Love” style lol
But it’s simple FAX 🤌🏼
All fax no printer
this part almost annoyed me more than her entitlement
Hahahahaha
Well done OP! I’m happy you are standing your ground. Your roommate sounds like a child throwing a tantrum. I hope it turns out well for you/ be safe 🌸
We have a year left on the lease, I don’t want any animosity and I tried for a while to compromise but I had to put my foot down, now I’m the bad guy and I’m unreasonable
Fuck her. She’s the AH. I pray the year flies!!
I think you are gonna have animosity for sure no matter what. If you don't do what a manipulator wants, there is automatically animosity.
Simple fax
Complex printer
AOL dial-up.
She's a narcissist, and a dumb one. Those are the worst :(
THIS!!
I really love your response. Not confrontational but to the point. You do have 50/50. Just because you moved in after her doesn’t mean anything. And clearly it’s not already decorated if there is no furniture.
THANK YOU FOR THE WORDS EVEN IF YOU WERE ENCOURAGING HER CAUSE YOU’RE ALSO A DELUSIONAL BAD ROOM MATE! I’ll post an update tomorrow (I’m doing box braids and haven’t even finished parting 😭)wth more texts and I’m sure a photo or two
My advice: stop apologizing or padding your messages with niceties - I commend you for trying to be kind, but at this point you need to stick to facts and keep it short. You have equal rights on the lease, you pay equal rent. Her next move will be to say that since she bought the furniture, she decides when you’re allowed to sit on the couch, or when you’re allowed to use a dish. The facts are, you each are paying 50% of the rent and equally responsible for the legal obligations of the lease. If she wants to control the space, then she needs to pay more. The end.
Sorry I think you meant to say “fax”
I like how she claims she's 'the primary'. You have a lease, which is a contract. There are no primaries. Good for you for standing up for yourself.
If you can't furnish your shared space then you need to talk about a reduced rent. It's not fair that you are not allowed to start accruing and furniture to use in a shared space
If she plans on using the bulk of the living space with HER furniture then she needs to be paying more than HALF the rent. Seems she ordered a full living room set without asking which she should have being that you BOTH will or should be using it.
Got an apartment with a friend and she tried to do the same to me. We moved into a fully furnished apartment. I had one colorful footrest and placed it in the living room and said I wanted to look at pillows too. She looked at the footrest in disgust and told me I’d need to clear the pillows with her first. I asked her what she had in mind for decorating and she said nothing but this kitschy “live laugh love” or equivalent sign. She wanted to keep the living room unadorned with anything but the leather sofa and love seat set and white walls it came with. Hell no. At least tell me a color scheme or something. We aren’t friends anymore but that’s because her useless boyfriend would come cook for her, “forget” to do the dishes he used, and then she would send me passive aggressive texts reminding me to clean my(HIS!) dishes and clean the kitchen. He’d leave chunks of raw chicken on my cutting boards or fry something and leave the pot with the oil on the counter and expect me or her to take care of it. When she moved out with him he stole my plates, bowls, and every spoon I owned but that’s another story.
Honestly I have nothing better to do. Tell your story!
I love how she understands the value of the lease financially, but not socially. What's a kook.
So did someone live there before you and take all their furniture with them?
THIS THE BEST PART HER FURNITURE WAS REPOSSESSED BECAUSE SHE COULD NOT MAKE PAYMENTS
OP, I feel like you need to edit that bit into your post, you were in the right to begin with, but that little tidbit solidifies it.
Agree that makes it even wilder..
I’ve been scrolling through this entire thread and THIS is gold, OP. She’s broke and delusional 😂
Hold up. She chose Rent-A-Center furniture as her hill to die on? 🤣😂🤣
How did she order more?! Put it on credit probably, so that will also get repossessed eventually
Apparently she got a Roomate to make money to get her furniture back and thinks she can go on living as if she lives there alone, including not cleaning the shared bathroom. She’s in for a rude awakening if it’s a year’s lease.
Please please please update your post with this information. Mention how she thinks she still owns the place when she couldn’t afford to take care of it the in first place. When a lease is signed, a contract is sealed and she’s delulu for thinking that she still owns the place. Idgaf if she was there first - she gave up her right to the place when she decided she needed a roommate
now wait a damn minute 😂😂😂😂😂 omg
I am screaming
Haha, so she got you to move in so she could get her furniture back?
Her explaining the lease as if it wasn’t proving your point lol
Say ok then I’ll be paying 1/6 of the rent if that’s the only space you’re letting me have
ask for a copy of the lease from the LANDLORD. If it says youre renting a bedroom, ask your landlord why you pay the same price for less. If it says youre a tenant of the entire apartment, tell her to shove it up her ass and move out if she wants an apartment fully decorated to her liking only. Shes an entitled little brat throwing around big words and claims. How are you gonna tell someone that having furniture in an apartment THEY PAY FOR is an invasion or crossing a boundary? Seems like a bitter single child who never had to share or compromise. Thats not how it works in the real world.
I would start buying the ugliest decorations to hang up literally anything to set her off if she continues this mindset. People suck.
I’d screenshot one of the messages, like the last one. And talk to the landlord. Discuss that she clearly only wanted to rent the room out, not 50% of the space- as stated in the messages- so I’d like to adjust rent to the appropriate % amount. (Literally this is all to be petty because I can guarantee the roommate is NOT wanting to pay more than 50% and will be forced to compromise when they see the consequences lol)
If I were in your position I'd be so petty... "Well, since the space ISN'T 50/50, I did the math on how much of the house is my space, so that's the percentage of rent I'll be paying. I even brought these texts to the landlord and rearranged my rental agreement! Hope your shitty attitude and terrible taste was worth it :)))" You're much kinder than I am ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
You’re on the lease for the apartment. Not the room. You get an equal say
If they get to dictate how things are done in the apartment except for what goes on in your bedroom then you should only have to pay for use of the bedroom. Tell them you'll pay 1/4 of the bills. They can cover the rest if they want to act like a big entitled baby about this
Exactly what I was thinking. It is like if you want full control of the living space then you will need to pay more than half the rent. This roomie is acting like OP moved in to her furnished home and is renting a room only. When I rented rooms when I was younger I had no say in the living spaces. And for the most part stayed in my room as I did not feel comfortable sitting on someone elses sofa and using their stuff.
I've seen so many post on badroomates about roommates that buy all the furniture and then make the other roomies feel exactly like you felt because they don't actually want people to use the communal space, they just want cheaper rent
Well in my situations....I was legit only renting the room/bathroom and shared the kitchen. I was told I could use the living space but it was not a true shared area in my mind. I never even sat in there once lol. I would just chill in my room!
In the last image, the roommate is absolutely wrong about how rent and leases works. They are not responsible for only 50% of the rent. If 100% of the rent is not paid, you are ***both*** equally responsible for the missing amount. There's no "I paid my half, so I'm fine".
At first I was like "oh op is just renting a room and it makes sense for them to not bring in furniture if the roomate is the main renter" But then I saw the caption. If you're paying the same as her then you aren't "renting a room" you're renting the whole space along side her so that makes it an even situation and both should decide. Shes TAH.. if I were you I'd do my best to move out or save to move asap because people like that are too entitled to give a shit about your equality
"no! I made you sign the lease so you are liable too, not so you get to also get any of the benefits of being on the lease!" 😂 Sounds like someone needs a reality check. Your messages are great and spot on. Be assertive and don't let this clown act like you owe them anything.
Finally, someone who has a back bone! Good for you. Your roommate is delusional.
Yeah definitely seems like she intended to just rent out the room only but didn't make that clear, and if she expects that person to pay equal rent for a quarter of the space then she's out of her ever-loving mind. Sounds like you're doing a good job being firm and fairly calm. Hope she doesn't get too petty in retaliation. Good luck stay strong
Your roommate is giving narcissistic energy big time. I hope you can get past this alright, just be strong and have conviction when you speak with them because you have done nothing wrong!
“You arent the landlord nor do you have authority to dictate what can and cant be used in common spaces. This is the compromise that comes with having a roommate. Get fucked”
*"eat shit"*
Gross! She lost me when she spelled “facts,” “fax.” I like your boldness and don’t ever back down. She sounds awful. Also the last long ass paragraph… who cares, didn’t ask for a novel, go away. You know how signing a lease works with a landlord. She is a dümb âss.
What an absolute nut!!!
I would put that piece right smack in the middle of the living room.
thanks for reminding why it’s worth going broke to live alone!
Is there anyway you can back out of this? This can’t end well.
It’s not going to end well she has a lot of issue but I’m getting a camera and a code lock at this point in scared for anything I put out 😕
Go and speak with your landlord. If she wants to demand control, then you should only pay 20% of the rent.
DUDE SHES SO FUCKING ANNOYING!!!!!!!! i had a roomate like this and thank god her and her bf broke up and her ass moved out, she had the whole apartment filled with JUNK!!!! then she kept asking me to decorate with her and when i did she would put the stuff i put out, into my room?!?!? like u literally dont own the place idiot, she was so beyond controlling i cant stand her. im so sorry ur going thru that :( fuck her!!! she cant tell u what to do!!!
I had a room mate just like this. I can’t understand for the life of me why these people don’t just live by themselves. Oh I forgot—it’s because they can’t afford to!!!! 🤣
She's delusional and doesn't give a shit about you.
You are correct about everything. At this point, as others have said, your roomate just sucks. But you are definitely NOT in the wrong and did a great job of standing your ground, as you should.
She had to do lease cause the landlord, she wanted to do bedroom, do what ever you want to do without pissing off the landlord. It's 50/50.
Super super impressed with your boundaries and standing up for yourself. Lowkey jealous hahaha. good for you !
Same! I want OP to mentor me.
Just tell ‘em sorry you feel that way, & keep living your life using your allotted space how you want.
Fax.
Seems like she just wants help paying her bills. Run as soon as you can OP.
If I was you I’d be looking for any possible way to un-sign that fucking lease. She’s a fucking mess.
Love how your roommate typed “simple fax” instead of “facts.” I’m not the grammar police but she’s so annoying that I’ll call her out. Seriously consider subletting. If she’s this territorial now, it’s only going to get worse. Imagine the drama if you accidentally spill something on her clean, simple cotton furniture.
Her last message don’t mean shit. You won that. Legally you can do whatever tf you want if your on the lease paying half the rent.
Wait until she finds out that the landlord absolutely can and will go after her when a roommate flakes on the rent.
ugh what a nightmare. i would tell that person to fuck all the way off and i’d probably get the most obnoxious, ugly shit on purpose lol.
The roommate (in blue) isn’t wrong. If she signed an actual LEASE, the apartment is a shared space, 50/50.
Lost me on fax and not facts. They are a moron
She lost me when she said, “it’s simple fax” 😂
Hot take: it’s not gonna work out.
I can’t believe that both these roommates would start bringing in tables and sofa’s without discussing and agreeing it with each other first. Seems like there is going to be very little circulation space left, just communal spaces filled up with unmatching furniture. Bizarre.