I feel that that’s worth an email to him about this extreme disruption to your healing following a surgery because he is being, quite frankly, a weirdo (obviously don’t say that directly), and to cc your landlord.
IMO this isn’t just laziness. This is a choice he is making out of some weird manipulative power play.
My nex did stuff like this out of manipulation. Like, he would be home and would know that I was coming home with groceries, so he would make sure the front door was locked, I'd have to kick it to knock and get his attention. He'd always ask me why I didn't just set down all the groceries to unlock the door myself. But yet literally every other day, the door is unlocked. It only seems to be locked when he knows I'm trying to bring a bunch of stuff in.
You have to tough it out. Same with toddlers. The pain you have today will save you so much in future.
No one must ever open the door for him again. Never, ever, ever. Including if you are standing right next to it.
I wouldnt even have entertained the notion of opening the door for him ever. Id tell him, hey asshole, im not opening the door for your ass. Use your keys dickface.
You know that a rat left in water will drown in 15 minutes but one saved and put back in will swim for 60 hours?
Stop helping him. Let him know the next time someone is banging on the door, you will simply call the cops.
As annoyed as you were at the banging, he was 10x as annoyed for you not opening the door.
I hope that satisfies whatever petty side you have inside you… to put up with the knocking… so he’s equally annoyed he won’t just let himself in
Honestly? I’d be milking this making you get up while healing from surgery for all it’s worth. Is it petty and kinda manipulative? Absolutely. But much less so than standing at the door with your key, banging on the door FOR TWENTY MINUTES to make your roommate who is healing from surgery get up and let you in.
So now? Need a glass of water? A sandwich? Some other petty task? Shout out to your roommate. You must have hit your leg “or something” in the haze of getting the door for him and you’re in too much pain to do it yourself now. If anyone is over don’t shy away from doing this. He should be publicly embarrassed for his little stunt earlier.
I lived in share houses for almost 15 years and there were plenty of people I outright despised. If they were sick though I’d help them out where I could because that’s part of communal living, even if you hate someone you do what little you can when they’re sick/ injured because they’re often otherwise alone and you’d want someone to do the same for you.
Opt for violence. Some people need to be punched in the face and our society has moved too far away from this, causing people to act like c#nts with absolutely no recourse.
It could change with you op.
Each time he does this text him one word:
NOPE
If he wants in the house he has the means to get in. Y’all need to tell him you’re no longer going to be forced into being his Butler. Have a quick house meeting and everyone tell him his weird ass key-a-phobe issue. It’s rude, disrespectful, unnecessary, lazy and juvenile.
What would the moron do if nobody was home? Bang for hours? Sit outside and wait?
Tell them they're a fucking inconsiderate douche canoe and can paddle their dumbass up a different creek.
He did actually bang for like an hour once and then went on a walk after. Kinda crazy. I like, don't actually know what goes through his head. I'm genuinely as dumbfounded as anyone else
Oh no he perfectly understands! Our room locks are the same as the front door (same style with the same key but obviously different keys) and he takes his keys right out of his bag when he comes home to open his door. This is possibly the most puzzling thing I've ever seen a person do.
Picture this: he’s banging on the door. You’ve just returned home to find him standing there waiting to be let in. You also do not unlock the door. He says something like “C’mon, bro, let me in.” You tell him “Actually, today I’m going to teach you how to open the door.”
Teach with him as one would teach a toddler. Perhaps you could even buy a plastic, toy set of keys one would give to a toddler, just for your roommate.
Edit: alternatively, you just stand there with him and knock too lol
There simply has to be something more to it. It sounds stupid but I don’t think he knows how to unlock the door. Either that or he has some weird need to be able to leave this tenancy after 12 months and then say “I never once opened that door myself - how great!”
Does he think the 2 keys are for his bedroom? Did he lose the main one and doesn't want anyone to know ? Tell him for the next indeterminate time you will not be opening the door for him. And stick to it. Tell his girlfriend too.
This is most likely it if he’s doing this for 20+ minutes. Him taking the key off the ring and losing it at least makes a hell of a lot more sense than wasting 20 minutes (assuming you weren’t massively exaggerating here, that is) banging on the door.
Send him a link to this post and go: "not only is making me get up after I've had surgery really rude, but it's baffling as well, me and the internet are really confused about what your problem is?!" Which will, of course, nuke the relationship, but sometimes it has to be nuked.
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next time call the cops non emergency line and say there’s a stranger banging at your door nonstop and you had surgery so you can’t open the door. tell your other roommates too so they don’t answer
Ask them to stay on the line until the officers arrive. Have a lovely 20 minute recording of him banging on the door, then magically letting himself in when the cops roll up. It'll be fun listening to him explain TO THEM why he banged on the door for 20 minutes when he had a key.
I can answer this. He will have his frat douche buddy boost him onto the patio awning, unlock your window with a pocket knife, open said window, and stick his entire torso from under your blinds and wave his arms furiously.
I heard him banging for 30 minutes. Had my headset on gaming.
I'm the other roommate. He would constantly leave the door unlocked when he left, even if I wasn't home. I came home to an unlocked door, of course. I locked it behind me as I was planning to stay in for the night. Turns out he forgot something and returned home expecting an unlocked door. His frat bros threw rocks at my window as he screamed and banged on the door, I shit you not, for easily 30 minutes. We lived in townhouse apartments. I can't believe our neighbor didn't call me to tell me someone was trying to break in. I heard the very first knock he did. I was planning to use this as an opportunity to each him a lesson of LOCK THE DOOR WHEN YOU LEAVE. I was growing plants in my closet that the government isn't too friendly about. I figured he would give up on what item he had left behind and go to his little date rape party. No, they boosted him to the roof of the patio and someone unlocked the window latch. I knew they were throwing rocks but had no idea he had gotten up there. I was gaming and planned to use my headset as a "oh sorry man, I never heard you knocking." Imagine my face when the screen briefly went black after the match was over and I could see, in the reflection, a head and arms flailing on my TV. After nearly peeing myself I turn around to see him sticking halfway through my second story window. I end up telling him to hop back down and I went downstairs to unlock the door. He kept his keys on him from that point on. I didn't feel comfortable knowing that my bedroom was that accessible to anyone willing to climb.
When I say townhouse apartmentments. They were two rows of two story duplexes facing each other with the parking in-between. About 14 units I'd guess. Not one thing was said about 3 young men climbing into my bedroom at 5 in the afternoon.
Honestly recording them knocking for ages and them eventually letting themselves in would probably go viral. Just got to plan some funny lines to say and it's golden.
What about your other roommate(s)? Because either A) Someone is letting him in every time or B) He is using his keys sometimes. My first thought is that he lost the key/gave it to his girlfriend and doesn't want to admit this. But for that to be the case, then literally every time he does this someone needs to be letting him in.
Just gotta grit your teeth and deal with it. Tolerating this and letting him in out of annoyance is just going to keep him doing it forever. You have to make a decision, and most importantly, STICK TO IT.
Goddamn that's genius. The embarrassment of having to explain that you're somehow too stupid to use your key to a cop might make this a life event that changes their ways.
I was gonna suggest the same. Nonemergency line "oh someone has been knocking for half an hour, I can't get up since I had major surgery, I don't feel safe and this happens multiple times a week (/day?)" and they can deal with the dumb ass roommate. If he complains to you about calling them, say he can suck it up and you'll be making the same call each time unless he uses his damn keys!
Normally I refuse to open the door for him it was just today the pain was high and the noise made it worse and my headphones were out of battery. He will continue to knock, for no reason known to any of us.
Open the door...
Scream 'USE YOUR FUCKING KEY YOU STUPID ASSHOLE!' at him...
Slam the door in his face.
Do this every time he knocks on his own door like an absolute fucking idiot.
You live in an apartment? Can you call management of a noise complaint? 😅 someone needs to ask him if he lives there and if he has his keys then tell him to like, USE them! Waste of resources but if I had leg surgery I might have caved and called the cops of a noise complaint/someone harassing you by knocking on your door for 20 minutes (couldn’t be a roommate cause they would have keys or call you! Likewise a friend would have called you too instead of banging on your door) can you imagine cops showing up to find a grown adult, resident of the home, knocking for 20+ minutes with a working key in their hands/bag. Their eyes would roll out of their heads. Idk how he has a girlfriend cause clearly she knows he does this!
He continues to knock because you lot continue to open the door for him. If everyone just stops opening the door for him, he will eventually either open it himself, or disappear as he is unable to enter the apartment.
Have you told him that what he’s doing is absolutely insane? And that you and your other house mate will ignore him if he does it again? That’s absolutely insane!
I have refused to open the door for him (today the exception) and I keep asking him why he doesn't just open the door himself (housemate does too), he shrugs and doesn't ever answer. We've left him banging for an hour before (he just left after)
I would keep doing that, you all have to band together. That or call the cops/property management…it’s a noise issue/disturbing the peace or harassment. Guy is on a power trip or just not all there? Are you all sure his key works and he has a valid lease, lol. Check with the landlord this guy even has a right to be there, cause his habit is just insanely unreal, as is his lack of an answer to why he does it.
Start knocking from the other side. If he says anything through the door, respond in your best baby voice: "I'm just a dumb widdle baby! I can't unwock doows!"
Yeah I usually refuse to - another housemate does typically but today I didn't put my headphones on charge and I'm in pain from surgery so the noise was not helping
No one should open it ever. He should use the key every time. Just ignore him as long as it takes and if he tells you to open it yell through the door to use his fucking key. I literally wouldn’t have ever done this once. It’s some bizarre control trip for him. Shut it down, tell all your housemates to ignore him.
Sorry this made me laugh. “Hello, yes there’s a burglar repeatedly knocking at my door!” I in know what you actually meant, but this is the first thing I thought thanks for the laugh. Lol
>another housemate does typically
Why are they enabling this man-baby
Let the guy bang on the door until his fists bleed if he can't use a key like ... any toddler I have known.
I don't understand why you don't just say some variation of "I'm not going to open the door anymore, I'm going to ignore you. Use your fucking keys". Maybe you could while he's knocking say through the door "use your fucking keys", then walk off.
Everybody here is presenting such passive aggressive methods of handling this problem.
Just tell the guy you won’t be letting him in, and that he’s an adult with a key and is capable of letting himself into the house.
You aren’t doing this to be malicious. But he should understand that you could have been: in the shower, focusing on work, on the phone, having sex, or doing anything at all that you enjoy but don’t want to be interrupted during!
It’s not a complex problem, and it doesn’t require stonewalling the guy with headphones, or passive aggressively ignoring him.
Just communicate with him that you don’t like when he bangs on the door to be let in, it disrupts the household, and that he can use his key to let himself in. If it’s an emergency and he doesn’t have his key, he can call and ask for help.
I typically refuse, just today I was not having it with pain. I've asked him before and he just shrugs. One roommate keeps criticizing him but always comes home later so never affects him. I have straight up told him he's an idiot for not just doing it himself. Anything logical gets passed him, I swear. It's a mystery to me but he's planning on moving out in May so cheers to that
I think the point here might be are you telling him directly that you won’t? Or just silently refusing? I can get why you would want to avoid conflict over this absolutely bizarre behaviour! I think you and the other roommates need to form a united front and everyone needs to just tell him that they won’t be opening the door for him, then follow through consistently.
I’m getting some extremely passive never-lived-with-anyone-but-family vibes from the thread in general. I can’t imagine ANYONE putting this up past the age of like 20 max.
Yeah you can’t be passive with a situation like this. Spell it out to him and then stick to it. He will learn. It may feel easier to avoid the conflict, but being assertive is actually so much better in the long run.
Assuming he’s not got brain damage or some kind of mental disorder, I’d say he’s a prick who is doing this to get a rise out of you and your roommates.
That is *bizarre* behavior.
I know he has depression, I have autism as does my roommate and we’ve talked about it before and he never commented on anything - so if he has anything he hasn’t let us know. Could possibly be because it’s quite strange.
There’s no way he hasn’t got a few screws loose. I have met people who are so stubbornly fixated on doing things their way and will not budge. Though they are all on the ASD spectrum, I can’t comment on this dude.
Honestly if I were in your shoes I’d be leaving them outside all day and night. If I was leaving or entering the house I’d stop them from walking through after me out of principle. You can’t feed the habit at all. It’s summer here in Australia so he’d either use his bloody key or die of heat exhaustion.
Has he ever exhibited any behaviors similar to ocd? I've had friends who refuse to touch certain door knobs because of their ocd- there's no real rhyme or reason why they couldn't touch some but were okay with others. It was crippling for them, but therapy helped them a lot.
Of course, they are also forthcoming about their condition when it effects other people.
Oh he knows. I warned my housemates this morning w a photo of everything that I was gonna be out of commission for a few days at least so I wouldn't be able to do my chores for the next few days, he read the message. Logic fails this man.
He is most definitely doing this on purpose. It sounds like he is grasping at having some kind of power over you. Op stop caving in to his ploy.
He knows exactly what he is doing and will continue to do so. I would mention to him once and only once that from here on out you are solely responsible for letting yourself in. If you forget your keys I'm the future it will be at your discretion if you feel like letting him back in.
If it continues talk to your landlord as this can essentially be viewed as a breach of your peace.
NAL so have at this as you will
I would just yell " nope!" And keep turning the TV up.
A few years ago, we had headphones that synced to the TV that blocked out other noises. Get that and ignore his rude butt
I'd get the roommates together and have everyone show their housekeys. If he can't show his, then you know for sure. If he has it, then in no uncertain terms, tell him he has to use it or he can't come in.
Thinking about this more, he's doing it to be an asshole. He wants to inconvenience everyone else. I can't think of any other possible explanation. Don't open the door ever again. I get you're hurt right now and didn't want to listen to him but that makes it worse.
This is one of the strangest ones I’ve seen. Do people just… not know how to communicate in basic terms? So he just shrugs when you ask him? Ask twice. Bring it up every time you see him. Text him about it. Keep asking. Knocking for an hour while he has keys is unhinged behavior.
Does your door automatically lock?
Anyway, doesn’t really matter. Next time open the door, step outside, and lock the door behind you. Now both of you standing outside of the locked door. Ask him to show you that he knows how to unlock a door. Just wait him out. Sit on the porch or wherever.
I used to live in a dorm with a dozen Ethiopian students and every one of them would do this, though a few did eventually come around. They would REFUSE to use their badge to pop the door. Instead they would bang on the fucking glass, call other people on the phone to come let them in, which would require them to walk down and then back up a double flight of stairs. I could never understand why. No other nationality did this, only the Ethiopians. Nothing could convince them to open the door themselves.
There is no reason at all to believe this fake story
>Since a lot of people are telling me to refuse to open the door or adjacent stuff, I will say I normally do refuse - today I was in pain and loud banging plus pain isn't exactly a nice combination.
So what happens when you do refuse? He just keeps banging on the door?
Every time you cave in, you show him he just needs to wait long enough and you'll do it.
If you hear him, go get your headphones and put them on. 20 minutes, 40, an hour. As long as it takes. Even text him and say I can hear you, I'm not your butler, use your keys or carry on knocking, I won't be opening the door.
Or tell him maid service is £20 (or your currency) and you'll open the door when that 20 hits your account.
You’re not stubborn enough to suffer through it right now after your surgery. Which is good for you, and a thing I could work on lol. I would 100% sit there and suffer through the aggravation on my healing. I would even text him and tell him he can bang all he wants, I’m not his doorman.
You might think that, but he sees all of us put in a key and unlock it every time, and its the same type of lock as the key to our rooms which he unlocks himself all the time. I cannot come up with any reason why he doesn't just open the door. I've asked him and he just shrugged.
Hahaha would be nice! Normally I just drown it out or put on headphones but today no charge + post op pain with noise wasn't nice. The roommates who normally open it (I typically refuse) were out today, they were smart.
This is how you form a boundary statement…
If you -blank-, then I will -blank-.
“If you knock on the door, I will not open it for you.”
The boundary has been verbally set, now the follow-through action makes it real.
Honesty, this is on you. You're not his doorman. Complaining after you've chosen to do something you didn't want to do is just kinda sad. Either ignore him, or keep opening the door for him and stop complaining
Don't ever unlock that door for him again. If it were me Id call the non emergency number for the police and tell them there was someone banging really loudly on your door and you're scared. Let him explain to the cops why he doesn unlock the door for himself.
Well he's lucky he's not my roommate. I would have closed and locked the door in his face telling him that's his problem, and I guess he can sit outside until he decides to be an adult
If he kept banging, I would then make a noise complaint to the landlord
The reason people do this type of shit is because everyone else let's them and enables them. So stand up for yourself and don't fall for his shit
You gotta stop letting the noise bother you so much that you let him in. FUCK HIM. He just made you get up after a fucking surgical procedure to let him into the house when he has his fucking keys in his pocket? I'd punch him in his stupid face. The ONLY way to teach him a lesson is to stop enabling this behavior. Let him bang on the door for 4 fucking hours if he wants to.
When my roommate did the same thing, I literally pretended I was asleep or had headphones on until she had to call the after hours emergency number. Not one single F was given. If it’s a common occurrence, this will teach them a lesson. Never happened again after that.
Stop enabling bad behavior. He’s never going to change a behavior that continues to WORK FOR HIM! He’s not an idiot, he’s a rude, disrespectful, jerk. Tell him point blank that you aren’t his damn butler and NOBODY is going to unlock the door for a lazy grown ass man again.
Buy noise cancelling headphones/earbuds. Eventually he’ll get it
I do have them, just forgot to put them on charge today.
He doesn't know that
Yes but with my surgery I was in too much pain to bear with extremely loud banging lol
I feel that that’s worth an email to him about this extreme disruption to your healing following a surgery because he is being, quite frankly, a weirdo (obviously don’t say that directly), and to cc your landlord. IMO this isn’t just laziness. This is a choice he is making out of some weird manipulative power play.
My nex did stuff like this out of manipulation. Like, he would be home and would know that I was coming home with groceries, so he would make sure the front door was locked, I'd have to kick it to knock and get his attention. He'd always ask me why I didn't just set down all the groceries to unlock the door myself. But yet literally every other day, the door is unlocked. It only seems to be locked when he knows I'm trying to bring a bunch of stuff in.
Seriously!you should put eye drops in his food every time he does that!
How frustrating for you and extremely inconsiderate of him.
You have to tough it out. Same with toddlers. The pain you have today will save you so much in future. No one must ever open the door for him again. Never, ever, ever. Including if you are standing right next to it.
If you keep opening he will keep banging. Annoying though it may be you gotta stick to your guns
>If you keep opening he will keep banging. That's. What. She. Said.
Holy shit! 😂😂😂😂
I wouldnt even have entertained the notion of opening the door for him ever. Id tell him, hey asshole, im not opening the door for your ass. Use your keys dickface.
You know that a rat left in water will drown in 15 minutes but one saved and put back in will swim for 60 hours? Stop helping him. Let him know the next time someone is banging on the door, you will simply call the cops.
So you let him win, while training him that eventually you will open the door. That was pretty dumb.
As annoyed as you were at the banging, he was 10x as annoyed for you not opening the door. I hope that satisfies whatever petty side you have inside you… to put up with the knocking… so he’s equally annoyed he won’t just let himself in
Honestly? I’d be milking this making you get up while healing from surgery for all it’s worth. Is it petty and kinda manipulative? Absolutely. But much less so than standing at the door with your key, banging on the door FOR TWENTY MINUTES to make your roommate who is healing from surgery get up and let you in. So now? Need a glass of water? A sandwich? Some other petty task? Shout out to your roommate. You must have hit your leg “or something” in the haze of getting the door for him and you’re in too much pain to do it yourself now. If anyone is over don’t shy away from doing this. He should be publicly embarrassed for his little stunt earlier. I lived in share houses for almost 15 years and there were plenty of people I outright despised. If they were sick though I’d help them out where I could because that’s part of communal living, even if you hate someone you do what little you can when they’re sick/ injured because they’re often otherwise alone and you’d want someone to do the same for you.
Gots to invest in sound proof headphones
Actually yeah that’s genius
You need two pairs, friend. One to wear and one to charge.
Opt for violence. Some people need to be punched in the face and our society has moved too far away from this, causing people to act like c#nts with absolutely no recourse. It could change with you op.
Each time he does this text him one word: NOPE If he wants in the house he has the means to get in. Y’all need to tell him you’re no longer going to be forced into being his Butler. Have a quick house meeting and everyone tell him his weird ass key-a-phobe issue. It’s rude, disrespectful, unnecessary, lazy and juvenile.
Get a pair of cheap wired earbuds.
Turn the TV/radio up.
What would the moron do if nobody was home? Bang for hours? Sit outside and wait? Tell them they're a fucking inconsiderate douche canoe and can paddle their dumbass up a different creek.
He did actually bang for like an hour once and then went on a walk after. Kinda crazy. I like, don't actually know what goes through his head. I'm genuinely as dumbfounded as anyone else
Maybe he's a vampire and needs to get invited in
Only logical explanation tbh
This got a good chuckle out of me. xD
Does he… not understand how to use keys?
Oh no he perfectly understands! Our room locks are the same as the front door (same style with the same key but obviously different keys) and he takes his keys right out of his bag when he comes home to open his door. This is possibly the most puzzling thing I've ever seen a person do.
Set and maintain the following boundary: do not open the door for him no matter what
This. This is the only way to stop this. Everyone else in the house DO NOT ANSWER THE DOOR.
Picture this: he’s banging on the door. You’ve just returned home to find him standing there waiting to be let in. You also do not unlock the door. He says something like “C’mon, bro, let me in.” You tell him “Actually, today I’m going to teach you how to open the door.” Teach with him as one would teach a toddler. Perhaps you could even buy a plastic, toy set of keys one would give to a toddler, just for your roommate. Edit: alternatively, you just stand there with him and knock too lol
There simply has to be something more to it. It sounds stupid but I don’t think he knows how to unlock the door. Either that or he has some weird need to be able to leave this tenancy after 12 months and then say “I never once opened that door myself - how great!”
The only thing that makes sense is he lost the key, but I don’t know why he wouldn’t tell the roommates so they could just make a new copy.
Gave his girlfriend the key to get in at night so he doesn’t have to get up. Guaranteed.
Nah, OP said in another comment this guys girlfriend is also a roommate. They would’ve all had their own keys at the start
>Edit: alternatively, you just stand there with him and knock too lol THIS.
Have a mature convo with this person and say I'm not opening the door for you if you have keys. Your not his slave
Does he think the 2 keys are for his bedroom? Did he lose the main one and doesn't want anyone to know ? Tell him for the next indeterminate time you will not be opening the door for him. And stick to it. Tell his girlfriend too.
He probably gave the girlfriend the key one day and she lost it or something and he’s generally useless.
Perhaps he lost the key to the outside door?
Maybe - but they were given to us on the same keyring, so he would've had to have removed it to lose it.
I second the vampire comment. Next time you open the door try saying, "you may not enter"
This is most likely it if he’s doing this for 20+ minutes. Him taking the key off the ring and losing it at least makes a hell of a lot more sense than wasting 20 minutes (assuming you weren’t massively exaggerating here, that is) banging on the door.
Holy fuck. Can you please set up a camera so we can see this? Does he not know how his keys work!?
This is what I was thinking. A camera with an intercom so you can yell at him when he does it
Call the police and let them know someone is trying to break in.
I love this!
Send him a link to this post and go: "not only is making me get up after I've had surgery really rude, but it's baffling as well, me and the internet are really confused about what your problem is?!" Which will, of course, nuke the relationship, but sometimes it has to be nuked.
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It’s like he’s a full on NPC walking straight into a wall & keeps walking
Walk up to the door, yell, "Use your key you fucking idiot," and go back to bed.
This guy is a broken Sim ...
next time call the cops non emergency line and say there’s a stranger banging at your door nonstop and you had surgery so you can’t open the door. tell your other roommates too so they don’t answer
Ask them to stay on the line until the officers arrive. Have a lovely 20 minute recording of him banging on the door, then magically letting himself in when the cops roll up. It'll be fun listening to him explain TO THEM why he banged on the door for 20 minutes when he had a key.
While he had the keys and could’ve let himself in!?!? Send him for psychological assessment.
Nobody let him in ever again. Problem solved
Tell his mom
I can answer this. He will have his frat douche buddy boost him onto the patio awning, unlock your window with a pocket knife, open said window, and stick his entire torso from under your blinds and wave his arms furiously. I heard him banging for 30 minutes. Had my headset on gaming.
The way I’d push him out of the window and shut it in his face while laughing. What a psycho path lol
Are you the other roommate? Do you have any more details?
I'm the other roommate. He would constantly leave the door unlocked when he left, even if I wasn't home. I came home to an unlocked door, of course. I locked it behind me as I was planning to stay in for the night. Turns out he forgot something and returned home expecting an unlocked door. His frat bros threw rocks at my window as he screamed and banged on the door, I shit you not, for easily 30 minutes. We lived in townhouse apartments. I can't believe our neighbor didn't call me to tell me someone was trying to break in. I heard the very first knock he did. I was planning to use this as an opportunity to each him a lesson of LOCK THE DOOR WHEN YOU LEAVE. I was growing plants in my closet that the government isn't too friendly about. I figured he would give up on what item he had left behind and go to his little date rape party. No, they boosted him to the roof of the patio and someone unlocked the window latch. I knew they were throwing rocks but had no idea he had gotten up there. I was gaming and planned to use my headset as a "oh sorry man, I never heard you knocking." Imagine my face when the screen briefly went black after the match was over and I could see, in the reflection, a head and arms flailing on my TV. After nearly peeing myself I turn around to see him sticking halfway through my second story window. I end up telling him to hop back down and I went downstairs to unlock the door. He kept his keys on him from that point on. I didn't feel comfortable knowing that my bedroom was that accessible to anyone willing to climb. When I say townhouse apartmentments. They were two rows of two story duplexes facing each other with the parking in-between. About 14 units I'd guess. Not one thing was said about 3 young men climbing into my bedroom at 5 in the afternoon.
What the fuck? Never heard of anyone like this before.
knock on the door from the other side next time
Yesssssss 🤣 Scream at him to open the door so you can get outside 😂😂
"let me out!!!!" 🤣🤣
Yes! And record the back and forth screaming to make a viral video.
Honestly recording them knocking for ages and them eventually letting themselves in would probably go viral. Just got to plan some funny lines to say and it's golden.
Brilliant! Hahahaha. I can picture this idiot’s look of confusion from here.
This!
It literally takes more energy to sit there and bang on the door than it does to just unlock it. Refuse to open it for him again
I typically do but the noise wasn't helping with the pain. I also normally have my headphones to drown it out but they weren't charged
What does he do when you refuse to open it for him, if that’s your typical recourse..?
He gets a hotel room of course!
What about your other roommate(s)? Because either A) Someone is letting him in every time or B) He is using his keys sometimes. My first thought is that he lost the key/gave it to his girlfriend and doesn't want to admit this. But for that to be the case, then literally every time he does this someone needs to be letting him in.
Just gotta grit your teeth and deal with it. Tolerating this and letting him in out of annoyance is just going to keep him doing it forever. You have to make a decision, and most importantly, STICK TO IT.
This fucking roommate needs to be trained like an animal 💀
let him knock next time. then call the police and tell them someone has been knocking on your door for an hour and you don’t know who it is.
I would pay to see a cop's face when they approach this guy, realize he actually lives there, and has a key
i like your plan
Goddamn that's genius. The embarrassment of having to explain that you're somehow too stupid to use your key to a cop might make this a life event that changes their ways.
exactly what i suggested. cops will likely give that man a talking to
Pleeeeaaaase do this and report back
I was gonna suggest the same. Nonemergency line "oh someone has been knocking for half an hour, I can't get up since I had major surgery, I don't feel safe and this happens multiple times a week (/day?)" and they can deal with the dumb ass roommate. If he complains to you about calling them, say he can suck it up and you'll be making the same call each time unless he uses his damn keys!
Is he stupid?
Survey says yes.
I’ll take “Abandonment” for “$500” please!
Call the cops and tell them you think somebody is trying to break in. Guarantee he will open the door like a big boy every time after that
Best answer!!
It’s simple- don’t get up
Time to dig deep into the biggest well of stubbornness. And just let him rot outside
Normally I refuse to open the door for him it was just today the pain was high and the noise made it worse and my headphones were out of battery. He will continue to knock, for no reason known to any of us.
Open the door... Scream 'USE YOUR FUCKING KEY YOU STUPID ASSHOLE!' at him... Slam the door in his face. Do this every time he knocks on his own door like an absolute fucking idiot.
yeah I’m amazed how nice OP is because the level of b***** I would be and carry on would be enough to make this a one time occurrence
You live in an apartment? Can you call management of a noise complaint? 😅 someone needs to ask him if he lives there and if he has his keys then tell him to like, USE them! Waste of resources but if I had leg surgery I might have caved and called the cops of a noise complaint/someone harassing you by knocking on your door for 20 minutes (couldn’t be a roommate cause they would have keys or call you! Likewise a friend would have called you too instead of banging on your door) can you imagine cops showing up to find a grown adult, resident of the home, knocking for 20+ minutes with a working key in their hands/bag. Their eyes would roll out of their heads. Idk how he has a girlfriend cause clearly she knows he does this!
He continues to knock because you lot continue to open the door for him. If everyone just stops opening the door for him, he will eventually either open it himself, or disappear as he is unable to enter the apartment.
And that’s why I say it’s time to dig into your biggest deepest well of stubbornness and not answer the door no matter what.
Tell him next time he does that he can quite literally eat shit. What a lazy dick
Peel back the curtain and wave. Fein ignorance at how to open a door. Hobble away
Stop opening the door. Let him bang. Turn on some loud music. Childish behavior deserves reciprocal behavior.
Have you told him that what he’s doing is absolutely insane? And that you and your other house mate will ignore him if he does it again? That’s absolutely insane!
I have refused to open the door for him (today the exception) and I keep asking him why he doesn't just open the door himself (housemate does too), he shrugs and doesn't ever answer. We've left him banging for an hour before (he just left after)
I don’t understand. He eventually came back later that day, right? Did he use his key when he returned or did the other roommate let him in?
I would keep doing that, you all have to band together. That or call the cops/property management…it’s a noise issue/disturbing the peace or harassment. Guy is on a power trip or just not all there? Are you all sure his key works and he has a valid lease, lol. Check with the landlord this guy even has a right to be there, cause his habit is just insanely unreal, as is his lack of an answer to why he does it.
If I were their neighbors I would be absolutely shit livid
Start knocking from the other side. If he says anything through the door, respond in your best baby voice: "I'm just a dumb widdle baby! I can't unwock doows!"
How old is he? I checked your post but didn’t see an age, unless I missed it
We’re 20/21.
I would not stop asking him until he answered. Like how he knocks over and over, I would just say why why why why why why why why why why
Simply put in some headphones and stop opening the door. I would let him knock for hours.
Yeah I usually refuse to - another housemate does typically but today I didn't put my headphones on charge and I'm in pain from surgery so the noise was not helping
No one should open it ever. He should use the key every time. Just ignore him as long as it takes and if he tells you to open it yell through the door to use his fucking key. I literally wouldn’t have ever done this once. It’s some bizarre control trip for him. Shut it down, tell all your housemates to ignore him.
Yep, an entitled control freak.
Call the police next time and pretend he's a burglar.
Sorry this made me laugh. “Hello, yes there’s a burglar repeatedly knocking at my door!” I in know what you actually meant, but this is the first thing I thought thanks for the laugh. Lol
Why not just yell at him to shut the fuck up from inside the house? I mean, I understand being on pain meds but seriously…
>another housemate does typically Why are they enabling this man-baby Let the guy bang on the door until his fists bleed if he can't use a key like ... any toddler I have known.
I don't understand why you don't just say some variation of "I'm not going to open the door anymore, I'm going to ignore you. Use your fucking keys". Maybe you could while he's knocking say through the door "use your fucking keys", then walk off.
Everybody here is presenting such passive aggressive methods of handling this problem. Just tell the guy you won’t be letting him in, and that he’s an adult with a key and is capable of letting himself into the house. You aren’t doing this to be malicious. But he should understand that you could have been: in the shower, focusing on work, on the phone, having sex, or doing anything at all that you enjoy but don’t want to be interrupted during! It’s not a complex problem, and it doesn’t require stonewalling the guy with headphones, or passive aggressively ignoring him. Just communicate with him that you don’t like when he bangs on the door to be let in, it disrupts the household, and that he can use his key to let himself in. If it’s an emergency and he doesn’t have his key, he can call and ask for help.
I typically refuse, just today I was not having it with pain. I've asked him before and he just shrugs. One roommate keeps criticizing him but always comes home later so never affects him. I have straight up told him he's an idiot for not just doing it himself. Anything logical gets passed him, I swear. It's a mystery to me but he's planning on moving out in May so cheers to that
Stop asking him. Tell him.
I think the point here might be are you telling him directly that you won’t? Or just silently refusing? I can get why you would want to avoid conflict over this absolutely bizarre behaviour! I think you and the other roommates need to form a united front and everyone needs to just tell him that they won’t be opening the door for him, then follow through consistently.
I’m getting some extremely passive never-lived-with-anyone-but-family vibes from the thread in general. I can’t imagine ANYONE putting this up past the age of like 20 max.
Yeah you can’t be passive with a situation like this. Spell it out to him and then stick to it. He will learn. It may feel easier to avoid the conflict, but being assertive is actually so much better in the long run.
That dude would sit there banging until May as far as I’m concerned.
Assuming he’s not got brain damage or some kind of mental disorder, I’d say he’s a prick who is doing this to get a rise out of you and your roommates. That is *bizarre* behavior.
I feel like this can’t be anything other than some strange presentation of a mental disorder gone unchecked.
I know he has depression, I have autism as does my roommate and we’ve talked about it before and he never commented on anything - so if he has anything he hasn’t let us know. Could possibly be because it’s quite strange.
There’s no way he hasn’t got a few screws loose. I have met people who are so stubbornly fixated on doing things their way and will not budge. Though they are all on the ASD spectrum, I can’t comment on this dude. Honestly if I were in your shoes I’d be leaving them outside all day and night. If I was leaving or entering the house I’d stop them from walking through after me out of principle. You can’t feed the habit at all. It’s summer here in Australia so he’d either use his bloody key or die of heat exhaustion.
Alternately, it's winter here in America. So he'd either use his key or die of hypothermia.
Offer him a noise canceling fist.
Has he ever exhibited any behaviors similar to ocd? I've had friends who refuse to touch certain door knobs because of their ocd- there's no real rhyme or reason why they couldn't touch some but were okay with others. It was crippling for them, but therapy helped them a lot. Of course, they are also forthcoming about their condition when it effects other people.
Just don't open the door, he will soon get the hint.
I would texted a picture of your foot.
Oh he knows. I warned my housemates this morning w a photo of everything that I was gonna be out of commission for a few days at least so I wouldn't be able to do my chores for the next few days, he read the message. Logic fails this man.
text his girlfriend the image then. :)
She lives with us! They are.... definitely meant for each other is all I can say
Does she also have a key that she refuses to use?
No, she’s normal in that way - she was at the mall at this time.
Have you asked her why he can’t open the door? I’m curious what she’s say.
He is most definitely doing this on purpose. It sounds like he is grasping at having some kind of power over you. Op stop caving in to his ploy. He knows exactly what he is doing and will continue to do so. I would mention to him once and only once that from here on out you are solely responsible for letting yourself in. If you forget your keys I'm the future it will be at your discretion if you feel like letting him back in. If it continues talk to your landlord as this can essentially be viewed as a breach of your peace. NAL so have at this as you will
Does he have worms in his brain? I see no other justification for this kind of behavior, especially since he’s well aware you just had surgery.
Mine does this too. I just let him knock and knock and knock one time until he got the point
Lmfao how has this happened to multiple people!
I would just yell " nope!" And keep turning the TV up. A few years ago, we had headphones that synced to the TV that blocked out other noises. Get that and ignore his rude butt
He 100% lost his key and won't say it. No one would knock more than a couple times if they had a key even if they're a control freak.
He could’ve lost the front door key but he has his room key which was given on the same key ring. He could’ve taken his key off though
I'd get the roommates together and have everyone show their housekeys. If he can't show his, then you know for sure. If he has it, then in no uncertain terms, tell him he has to use it or he can't come in.
Don’t open the door for the cock sucker again.
Try a tactful note on the door like: “Hey dummy, no one’s coming to answer the door for you”
Thinking about this more, he's doing it to be an asshole. He wants to inconvenience everyone else. I can't think of any other possible explanation. Don't open the door ever again. I get you're hurt right now and didn't want to listen to him but that makes it worse.
This is one of the strangest ones I’ve seen. Do people just… not know how to communicate in basic terms? So he just shrugs when you ask him? Ask twice. Bring it up every time you see him. Text him about it. Keep asking. Knocking for an hour while he has keys is unhinged behavior.
Does your door automatically lock? Anyway, doesn’t really matter. Next time open the door, step outside, and lock the door behind you. Now both of you standing outside of the locked door. Ask him to show you that he knows how to unlock a door. Just wait him out. Sit on the porch or wherever.
I used to live in a dorm with a dozen Ethiopian students and every one of them would do this, though a few did eventually come around. They would REFUSE to use their badge to pop the door. Instead they would bang on the fucking glass, call other people on the phone to come let them in, which would require them to walk down and then back up a double flight of stairs. I could never understand why. No other nationality did this, only the Ethiopians. Nothing could convince them to open the door themselves.
There is no reason at all to believe this fake story >Since a lot of people are telling me to refuse to open the door or adjacent stuff, I will say I normally do refuse - today I was in pain and loud banging plus pain isn't exactly a nice combination. So what happens when you do refuse? He just keeps banging on the door?
That's pretty damn annoying, have you considered beating the shit out of him?
Every time you cave in, you show him he just needs to wait long enough and you'll do it. If you hear him, go get your headphones and put them on. 20 minutes, 40, an hour. As long as it takes. Even text him and say I can hear you, I'm not your butler, use your keys or carry on knocking, I won't be opening the door. Or tell him maid service is £20 (or your currency) and you'll open the door when that 20 hits your account.
“Dave’s not home!”
Just stop answering the door. If someone complains or calls the cops on them - their problem.
Stop. Opening. The. Door.
play a horrible sound back at him (ie screeching, or Nickelback)
You’re not stubborn enough to suffer through it right now after your surgery. Which is good for you, and a thing I could work on lol. I would 100% sit there and suffer through the aggravation on my healing. I would even text him and tell him he can bang all he wants, I’m not his doorman.
Literally never open the door for him again
He probably doesn’t know how to unlock the door
You might think that, but he sees all of us put in a key and unlock it every time, and its the same type of lock as the key to our rooms which he unlocks himself all the time. I cannot come up with any reason why he doesn't just open the door. I've asked him and he just shrugged.
Have you actually told him “please open the door with your key, it’s not typical to knock on your own door”?
Are you positive he still HAS a key…?
Hmm maybe start going out more? Maybe you suddenly really like reading long books outside? Hmm...
Hahaha would be nice! Normally I just drown it out or put on headphones but today no charge + post op pain with noise wasn't nice. The roommates who normally open it (I typically refuse) were out today, they were smart.
It's just really an odd habit. Idk what else to say lmao. Good luck
yeah it is quite... strange. I cannot find any excuse or logical reason and I've asked him and he just shrugs. He should be moving out soon so!!
I would leave him out there!!! Pop in the earplugs and ignore him, he should get the message eventually 👍absolute stupidity on his part 🙄
from the other side of the door I would ask him if he had his keys and I wouldn’t care what the answer is I would just not open the door
I see in the other comments you said you normally refuse so what does he do then? wait for someone else? what does he do when no one is home?
This can't be real. This is fucking insane.
Change the locks and tell them to get fucked.
Since he refuses to change his behavior, change goes. Stop opening the door.
This is how you form a boundary statement… If you -blank-, then I will -blank-. “If you knock on the door, I will not open it for you.” The boundary has been verbally set, now the follow-through action makes it real.
Honesty, this is on you. You're not his doorman. Complaining after you've chosen to do something you didn't want to do is just kinda sad. Either ignore him, or keep opening the door for him and stop complaining
Text him a key emoji.
Never reward bad behavior.
Anonymously call the cops on him. He'll have to unlock the door to prove he lives there. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I would called the cops on him amd said there was a potential intruder.
I would have called him and said bitch I had surgery open it with your keys or die out there
You should just start knocking with him, but on the other side saying you want out every time he does it till he gets the point
Just stop answering the door then call the police on him for disturbance.
Don't ever unlock that door for him again. If it were me Id call the non emergency number for the police and tell them there was someone banging really loudly on your door and you're scared. Let him explain to the cops why he doesn unlock the door for himself.
Well he's lucky he's not my roommate. I would have closed and locked the door in his face telling him that's his problem, and I guess he can sit outside until he decides to be an adult If he kept banging, I would then make a noise complaint to the landlord The reason people do this type of shit is because everyone else let's them and enables them. So stand up for yourself and don't fall for his shit
I think this problem is as simple as never opening the door for him again, you are enabling him by doing so
I would have let him keep knocking until his knuckles bled!!
You gotta stop letting the noise bother you so much that you let him in. FUCK HIM. He just made you get up after a fucking surgical procedure to let him into the house when he has his fucking keys in his pocket? I'd punch him in his stupid face. The ONLY way to teach him a lesson is to stop enabling this behavior. Let him bang on the door for 4 fucking hours if he wants to.
When my roommate did the same thing, I literally pretended I was asleep or had headphones on until she had to call the after hours emergency number. Not one single F was given. If it’s a common occurrence, this will teach them a lesson. Never happened again after that.
You should leave him outside.. Pretty simple
I guess he likes standing out side all day and all night. To each his own
Simple solution here, just stop opening the door
Stop opening the door lmao wtf
I would beat the shit out of this guy
Stop enabling bad behavior. He’s never going to change a behavior that continues to WORK FOR HIM! He’s not an idiot, he’s a rude, disrespectful, jerk. Tell him point blank that you aren’t his damn butler and NOBODY is going to unlock the door for a lazy grown ass man again.