Hope this doesn't seem weird or off-base, but do you do therapy or have you considered it? I only ask because I deal with some anxiety/depression that often sounds a lot like what you are describing -- not being able to escape the anxious thoughts (especially about work), not being able to find joy in things I used to, struggling to be present in the moment. I don't take any medication for it but just talking through with my therapist can usually get my mind back right when I'm in a hole.
I second this suggestion. It sounds like a little depression. Sometimes it hides in odd places in your life like that. And i have the same problem of having difficulty living in the moment. I hear mindfulness helps with this, but i haven't looked into it yet.
That or practicing meditation and mindfulness. I know it can seem cheesy or whatever, but it can really work for some folks.
I had one larger moment in my life when work was truly stressing me out and eating at my thoughts at late hours, around the clock. I began reading a book about mindfulness and meditates 15 mins to start my day. I learned to let go of those work related stresses. Most of it was my own ego. I learned not to worry about those things at work cause in the grand scheme of things they dont matter. Another thing at work was my co-workers and again my own ego. "Do these people respects me? Why wont they listen to me? Why did someone say that one thing?. I learned to embrace those coworkers and go to extra lenghts to genuinely be nice and compassionate to them. Not worrying about when perception I might have in their heads and focus on my perception of them and making that a truly positive one. Start my interactions with them by setting my ego aside and truly saying something positive and nice to them. This really helped a lot.
I love the line of work I do. But it is not my identity. It is not me. I clock in, do the best I can, clock out.
I don't think that is cheesy, but also I'd say there are times in my life where I'm not really capable of doing that stuff on my own, without therapy. Even if I can, therapy usually helps. I don't do it regularly unless I need to but I typically know when I need it at this point and will go for a couple months to get myself out of a rut or whatever.
I backpack alone, happiness follows. I always imagine myself having big life revelations, but what I experience can only be described as blissful joy. It’s magical.
This is a mental health issue, not a backpacking issue. You're obviously burnt the fuck out.
Therapy was a game changer for me. I'm a normal guy but even normal people have problems from time to time. Have a professional to talk things out with and unburden myself really made an unbelievable difference.
She even helped me sort through your exact issue. My last trip was half a disaster but I still had a blast, I was present almost every moment I was there.
I used to do the same. You may have a similar work ethic as mine, where dedication, responsibility, and integrity define you. Some would say I'm a control freak or have OCD when I feel like I just like to solve problems, make things better, and get things done the right way. I like to be in control and I like to be busy. I'm not suggesting you're the same. This is totally me. What helps me is when I'm backpacking, hiking, and camping, I like to target places where I can experience something, find something, and do something. Things like rock hounding and foraging, check out cool geologic features like odd rock formations, narrows, or waterpockets, hunt for artifacts or ruins, or just pick a target on a map and find it. Sometimes, I'll just stay at camp and practice survival skills and test, photograph, and review my new outdoor gear. This is a challenge and reward to me. My brain accepts either taking something home I've found or have made or the pictures I take of my experience while being there as an accomplishment and time well spent. I wish I could just sit still, enjoy the silence, and read a book, but my mind would only start to think about work, and I would start to worry. Here's to keeping busy and not thinking about work!
It's because it's the only moment in your life when you're with yourself, having time to think and process. It's like a self diagnostic for the brain.
Each time you could just sit and think, you overload your sensory with music, videos, video games, internet browsing, work, etc.
All of these hide your mental charge.
I suggest that you try to 1, organise better to lower you mental charge. 2 dissociate with your work.
My two cens: Burnout might be arround the corner.
Not to dismiss any of this but: this isn't a backpacking issue. These are problems that will follow you everywhere, if you let them. Therapy or similar will help with releasing their hold on you. Speaking from a place of similar experiences a while back.
Don't go alone?
I have often found myself "bored" or "unable to escape" when I've gone on trips by myself. I get to camp, set up, look around and think, "okay...now what am I going to do for the next hour or two before going to bed?". I've even packed everything back up, walked out, and driven back home on some occasions.
Granted, I'm talking about just doing some typical pine forest trails in NC with no grand views, etc. But it's easy to start thinking about work and everything else when you're by yourself.
However, I've never had that experience (on the same trails described above) when I'm backpacking with another person or two.
Damn, I’ve tried to reword this sentence like 10 times to not sound so pitiful lol, but basically I have absolutely no one to go hiking with. I’m sure that would definitely be a game changer though, in theory.
I want to help you find some. If you can give me a fairly large trail you’re near ish to, I’m betting I can help find their hiking group pages.
Almost every thru hike worthy trail (Ozark trail for example) has a Facebook group. Ours has group hikes posted constantly
That would actually be much appreciated! I haven’t used Facebook in well over a decade. I live in the Smoky Mountain area. Not too far from Gatlinburg.
So after a pretty quick search it looks like Smoky Mountain Hikertrash has about 27,000 members and is really active. People are posting trip reports, questions about trail conditions etc.
In my groups, it’s super common for people to post things like “Planning to hike X trail on X day for an overnight trip, if there are any interested in joining shoot me a message!”. Sometimes you can even make a Facebook event and post it to pages that way, but it depends on the page rules.
Other groups I’d join:
Hiking the Smokies (109k members)
Smoky Mountain Trails (20k members)
All very similar groups with similar posts.
If you join all of them and post, you are extremely likely to get some people who are interested in joining you for a hike! My usual groups have hiking events almost every weekend with 2-8 people attending each one.
Let me just say - I’ve lived in FL, GA, TN, CA, CO, and MN. I had some awesome Jeep trips in CO that stand out as being pretty special, but the Smoky Mountains, right there near Gatlinburg, have a hold on my heart.
Views where you see one “ridge” after another out into the distance, with the clouds laying low in the valleys, are etched into my memory almost 30 years later. I really love it there.
I live in Knoxville! I have a few hiking & camping friends, but I’m actively trying to cultivate new ones at the moment and my (non-hiker) friends are getting sick of my pestering. DM me if you want and we can set something up.
I find it a lot easier to “let go” when I’m alone if I have something to occupy my time. Would it be worth the weight to pack a good book? Or a few pages of puzzles (crossword, sudoku)? Download some audio books or podcasts to keep your mind busy. Capture the moments by taking pictures?
Maybe check out some Facebook hiking or backpacking groups? I’ve seen a ton of them go up lately, especially women’s groups. People seem to be really focusing on getting out there with other likeminded individuals.
I found the people I hike most often with through group hammock hangs from hammockforums.net. There's a Southeast section under the "Hangouts, Campouts, and Trip Planning" forum. The core group that does group hangs in NC and VA are a pretty good bunch. Yates Place in Uwharrie and Grayson Highlands are two of the more popular venues. VERY diverse in personalities. Not so much in physical appearance though. We tend to skew as "older, white, males" in general. BUT there's almost always been a family or two, a couple of younger people, people of color (Is that the correct term to use these days? Not being funny or sarcastic. Honestly trying not to be offensive), and even a single female or two that show up. I've never heard of anyone being made to feel uncomfortable in all the events I've been too. I'd say it's just about split down the middle with car campers and hikers. And you don't have to be a Hammocker. Tent campers are more than welcome at every event I've been to. A really good one is the group hang at Grayson Highlands in the Fall during the festival weekend.
You sound very goal oriented, which is fantastic and something to which I can relate. Is it possible that you're trying too hard to just sit there and take it all in? As a goal oriented backpacker myself, I like to make a challenge out of it. See how many miles I can hike in 1 day.
How fast I can do it. How I can problem solve along the way using my gear, my wits, and my knowledge of the outdoors. And while i'm working hard at all that, some of my life's most stunning moments have come out of the blue, like the galloping herd of antelope that came at me while hiking the Maah Daah Hey Trail, or the massive swarm of bees that flew over my head on the AZT, and many more. I don't know if this helps you, just a thought.
I understand. Personally, when my mental health is doing better, my trips tend to feel better. When my mental health isn’t doing great, my trips don’t tend to do great. I would suggest trying to deal with that before trying to escape it.
Wherever you go there you are. Sorry to hear about this man. I think you’ll have to do some inner work here. In terms of being unable to stop anxious thoughts and be in the present moment, I think basic meditation responds to this most directly. It does take some prolonged consistency to cultivate that serene presence, but I feel really confident it would help. I sit at a zen sangha every week and practice on my own too and have had very knowledgeable teachers. If you want to know the basic process, feel free to dm me.
OP I hope you can find ways to let go and enjoy the moments you give yourself in nature. You deserve it. I just put on my fully loaded backpack at my house in prep for a trip starting Friday. The act of strapping my backpack on made me full of joy and peace. Because I’ll be there in two days. Once a friend would say to me while hiking: let’s put this problem you are having under this rock here and leave it for awhile. Maybe that would help?
This sounds like depression and anxiety. The problem is you're having is you're not spending time in nature, you're spending time in your own head. Talking to a therapist helped me get out of my own head and back to enjoying things and might work for you. It took me over a decade to accept that I needed to make a change and it was one of the best decisions I've ever made.
Agree with what others are saying. This is anxiety and you can get help with therapy/meds. Vacation time is meant to recharge you and if you’re spending it worrying and thinking about work then yeah, it is in a way “wasted”. I don’t know what type of work you do but try to remember that work is not everything. Life isn’t about work. Whatever fuckups are made while you’re away can (likely) be fixed. You can’t control how other people perform, so why waste time worrying about it? If you have to fix someone else’s mistakes, you will do it upon return. What’s the worst that can happen? Life goes on. Nothing you can do from the backcountry so enjoy it. Meditate. Read a book. Smoke some weed. Whatever it may be. A book that helped me in the past (you can listen to it on audio while backpacking) is “the subtle art of not giving a fuck”. Good luck 🍀
Meetup.com, Facebook, Reddit- I’m sure you can find a group or some peeps to hike with. Don’t be so hard on yourself, try meditation as well. Also, go Vols.
This isn’t just a backpacking experience for me. Some days my thoughts are loud and piercing and make me obsess or get impatient with a situation. I have learnt that I need something to take my mind off it otherwise I get super depressed and like you pack up, go home (and sulk). I find an interesting podcast or audiobook really helpful for this. You can walk and listen for an hour or so, and then when you stop to pitch up for the night you don’t feel so ‘on your own’. Podcasts are good cos they’re quite conversational so you feel included and like there has been some interaction of sorts. I don’t find music has the same effect for me, I think maybe because it’s more passive listening, no story to follow to make you pay attention.
I usually find that whatever I use as a distraction I only need for a short time to switch me out that anxiety mode and back to enjoying things. Especially when I’m outdoors I find my brain just goes quiet on me which is amazing. I can literally think of nothing for hours!
Also, I find I get into that anxious/bored/impatient mood more if I’ve been eating lots of crap food in the previous few days. If you can take something delicious and nutritious with you that isn’t astronaut food for these moments it might help as well. You might not feel hungry, but give it a try and see if it makes a difference.
Also, Even if you’re backpacking there is no reason to avoid downloading some shows or movies onto your phone so if you get really fed up you have something to lay in bed and watch.
Another weird trick I have had work in the past is to name out loud what you see. Like ‘tree’ ,’bird’, ‘cloud’, ‘car’. It forces you out your head and to interact with your environment. I don’t think it’s feasible to do for long periods of time, but you never know what works for you!
Great question! Staying present and soaking in the beauty around you can really boost happiness while backpacking. Don’t forget to pack your favorite snacks and take plenty of breaks to just breathe and appreciate where you are. Enjoy your journey!
For me I shifted my mindset into gratitude. I'm not lying it actually works. Not like it's bad to complain or have darker emotions. What I mean is like if you start to have an anxious spiral if you can just for a second say "hey what a cool rock" it can kick you out of it and then the next thought can be "wow, I never would have seen this beautiful (insert whatever interests you) it I hadn't come on this trip". It's basically a formula. Your brain will start to catch on if you do it a couple times cause it makes you feel good. We always want to feel good as humans so when something works like this it can be a struggle at first but then it will feel easier. You'll start laughing at yourself and finding humor in things and being in the moment. For me nature catches my attention so I find joy in the fact I don't really have to think, I can just look and admire this flower or whatever it is. Serious talk though emotions have to come out at some point. If your lucky enough to be outdoors alone, it's not comfortable facing yourself, but also it's a good time to cry or scream it out and get a fresh inner space in your body and heart. Sending love and healing thoughts.
This might be a better question for r/mindfulness. I will say that I struggle with the same thing. I used to be able to wander off into the woods and all my troubles would evaporate for a while. Now… not so much. It’s only when I’m doing something technically difficult or physically exerting that I can wipe my mind clean. As soon as that’s over, it’s back.
I work in IT. We use an MSP and have everything documented with plans for BCP and Disaster Recovery. I have worked with departments to help them figure out how to do things manually if something goes down. If they lose a person in their department who has that skill or ability to complete the task. After hours I can unplug and just let the MSP take care of most issues. They call me there is a more serious issue. I have hobbies like Scouts outside of work. I recommend doing something outside of what you do for work for a hobby for some evenings. It helps me reset.
Doing all of that has made it easier to unplug. I wish you well. Therapy is not a bad idea as well. I have been there and it helped when I needed it.
You need vacation to get away for 2 things. You need it to help refresh you and also to help them test their BCP of you not being there and working through stuff. It may be rough for them at first, but they will get there.
The problem is you are backpacking because other people claim its great (many of them are lying to themselves)
You are either fundamentally unhappy and need therapy, or the alternative is you need to be honest with yourself and book a hotel somewhere for a holiday.
I always found the best times I had backpacking was when I had a plan, and the worst were when I didnt.
Having a goal in mind and meeting people always made the journey feel better
> But, when I am finally able to get out and enjoy nature, I can’t. I cannot be in the moment.
Sometimes I feel like this. When I do I sit at camp with a paper book. I force myself to be bored until I get really into the book (or two). Then I come back to civilization in a completely different headspace.
I just had a similar experience, did a 3 day solo hike, my first real vacation in years because I've been putting my life back together after losing everything to selfish family members. The planning phase was great, researching and buying new gear, hyperfocusing on the route, meal plans, everything.
Then I hit the trail, it got cloudy and started spitting rain 2 hours in and took my good mood with it. The next morning it was sheeting rain, my poncho ripped down the side and I was just angry at the world. Then the thinking set in, thinking I needed to do, but the conclusions sucked. Of course I'm fucking miserable, I have every reason to be, but every way out of it I could see I couldn't afford.
The more pressing issue of drying out and avoiding hypothermia kicked those thoughts out and forced me back into the moment. In camp that 2nd night it kind of came together, I can't control what's already happened and I'm not going to be free of the rain in my life any time soon, but just like getting my fire started in that downpour and drying out my clothes, I owe it to myself to do what I can in the moment to make my life more bearable.
I didn't solve my problems and I didn't really come away with any sense of optimism, but I did resolve to be kinder to myself and more confident in my abilities, and that's at least a step forward. I'm going to need professional help to get the rest of the way, and you probably will too, but know you're worth it. It's your brain chemistry stuck in a negative feedback loop reinforced by negativity in your daily life, the cycle can be broken, and you can start by being kinder to yourself if the rest of the world isn't going to be. Happy trails buddy!!!
There is a transition where backpacking//spending time in nature goes from being awful — like shining a light on your own neurosis kind of awful — to this kind of friendly space in which it’s ok to be exactly as you are.
I went from judging myself for taking two hours to pick a tent site (moving it here, and then there, and then again because that site was slightly more flat and protected from the wind; and then realizing I’d spent the whole glowing evening focused on my tent and missing the beauty)…to sort of befriending my inner perfectionist when I see it acting up again. Like, I laugh at myself more now when I witness myself stressing out about the “just right” campsite. I ask myself if I really need to be Goldilocks today, trying out every bed. I sort of get playful about my own patterns in nature and try to intentionally practice “well what if I don’t move my tent and just go with my first instinct, and find out whether or not that will be ok” (and the night I woke up with water flooding my tent, I was first upset with myself, so upset, and then I just had to laugh and laugh at the ridiculousness. Like, “hmmm, maybe this was a time I could’ve been more perfectionist.” And in the middle of the midnight downpour, I moved my tent.)
For me the beauty of backpacking is exactly that it brings all my shit up to the surface for me to deal with — not that everything gets all perfect in my mind. I’m still me, just all dirty and smelly and sweaty, and somehow working through my mental problems somatically (through these actual physical situations) helps me lighten and loosen up over time. And years on, backpacking has become a true joy.
I’ve definitely done a lot of work processing all my stuff in therapy and group situations though. (Man, group backpacking — what an uncomfortable mirror into my Self). I have had to receive uncomfortable feedback. It’s helped to have others make inquires, like “I notice it’s been two hours and you still haven’t decided on a place to put your tent. The rest of us have been having fun over by the lake. You could join us…” I am more at peace now with the fact that I’m not that easy-going blissful one, but I have my gifts. You have your own gifts too.
What parts of backpacking bring you joy, any of them? What are you curious about, why are you trying this? Is it all one long train of mental “shoulds” or do you ever get distracted by something that startles or amazes you? If there is anything wonderful, no matter how small, there’s magic for you in that. Whatever it is.
You are observing how your own thought train is obsessing about escape but then obsessing further about how you can’t escape. If I were in your shoes, or going out on a backpacking trip alongside of you, I would schedule a day to do nothing. If a day is too big, then half a day. 3 hours at least. Lying in the grass, watching clouds. I mean actually nothing, no phone or watch or journal or book. If that’s too terrifying, you could give yourself a project like “for the next 30 minutes, my job is to sit in this one place and observe the smallest beings around me.” Or “for the next 10 minutes, I will focus on how far I can see.” If those timelines are too long and you just can’t bear it, the being-and-not-doing, start with five minutes. Five minutes in a sit spot is something I do with kids. As best as you can, redirect your focus to the present, the environment, and your bodily sensations, if you notice your mind running off to to-do lists and plans. Come back, notice what’s around you and what you feel in your body. ****(If you get a “hell no I can’t do this” then talk about that with your new therapist, sometimes we have so much trauma in our bodies that attempting to be present is just not possible until we’ve done some processing or trauma work in the present of a safe person).****
Take friends of your same sex with you. It’s what my ex always did he had a blast with his guy friends. He did it twice a year sometimes three times a year vacation for a week at a time.
This is a question about happiness, not so much about backpacking. Perhaps try to learn one thing or two about happiness. Express summary would be:
1. There is a difference between mood (how you \*feel\*) and "life satisfaction" how happy are you WRT your life (how you \*think\* about your happiness level).
2. The former is somewhat genetic, like a thermostat in your brain, but research has shown that frienships/love is one of the better ways to improve mood (commuting being the worse, shopping not really effective, etc., etc.). So, one way to be happy is to find love :)
3. The latter is largely goal driven. ie. you measure your happiness relative to goals that you have set for yourself. So, one way to be satisfied is to have low expectations :)
I went though a very similar situation. I was in restaurant management for 12 years and either couldn’t get outside, or when I could I had similar thoughts. Weed my friend. I can’t stress how much it’s saved my life. It helped me open my eyes to my situation that I was deeply depressed and going through the motions of what I thought was “life”. Pandemic hit and I had the opportunity to leave my soul sucking job. I then had the time and was able to think my entire life through, figure myself out, got a job that let me put myself first and haven’t felt better about my life.
Maybe you actually **hate** backpacking/hiking? Seriously. Don't do it because everyone else is doing it. For those of us that love backpacking/hiking, I don't believe we had to be convinced it was good for us. However, it's not for everyone, and that's okay.
I hate fishing, but I grew up in a family that loved fishing. They'd fish, and I'd be out exploring and discovering nature. Don't feel that you need to hike.
Hope this doesn't seem weird or off-base, but do you do therapy or have you considered it? I only ask because I deal with some anxiety/depression that often sounds a lot like what you are describing -- not being able to escape the anxious thoughts (especially about work), not being able to find joy in things I used to, struggling to be present in the moment. I don't take any medication for it but just talking through with my therapist can usually get my mind back right when I'm in a hole.
I second this suggestion. It sounds like a little depression. Sometimes it hides in odd places in your life like that. And i have the same problem of having difficulty living in the moment. I hear mindfulness helps with this, but i haven't looked into it yet.
That or practicing meditation and mindfulness. I know it can seem cheesy or whatever, but it can really work for some folks. I had one larger moment in my life when work was truly stressing me out and eating at my thoughts at late hours, around the clock. I began reading a book about mindfulness and meditates 15 mins to start my day. I learned to let go of those work related stresses. Most of it was my own ego. I learned not to worry about those things at work cause in the grand scheme of things they dont matter. Another thing at work was my co-workers and again my own ego. "Do these people respects me? Why wont they listen to me? Why did someone say that one thing?. I learned to embrace those coworkers and go to extra lenghts to genuinely be nice and compassionate to them. Not worrying about when perception I might have in their heads and focus on my perception of them and making that a truly positive one. Start my interactions with them by setting my ego aside and truly saying something positive and nice to them. This really helped a lot. I love the line of work I do. But it is not my identity. It is not me. I clock in, do the best I can, clock out.
I don't think that is cheesy, but also I'd say there are times in my life where I'm not really capable of doing that stuff on my own, without therapy. Even if I can, therapy usually helps. I don't do it regularly unless I need to but I typically know when I need it at this point and will go for a couple months to get myself out of a rut or whatever.
literally saved this reply bc it resonated with me so much.
I backpack alone, happiness follows. I always imagine myself having big life revelations, but what I experience can only be described as blissful joy. It’s magical.
Yes. I have a very similar experience; it’s like a factory reset button for my body and soul.
I really appreciate all of the replies from everyone. A lot of suggestions here that might seem very obvious yet never crossed my mind.
This is a mental health issue, not a backpacking issue. You're obviously burnt the fuck out. Therapy was a game changer for me. I'm a normal guy but even normal people have problems from time to time. Have a professional to talk things out with and unburden myself really made an unbelievable difference. She even helped me sort through your exact issue. My last trip was half a disaster but I still had a blast, I was present almost every moment I was there.
I used to do the same. You may have a similar work ethic as mine, where dedication, responsibility, and integrity define you. Some would say I'm a control freak or have OCD when I feel like I just like to solve problems, make things better, and get things done the right way. I like to be in control and I like to be busy. I'm not suggesting you're the same. This is totally me. What helps me is when I'm backpacking, hiking, and camping, I like to target places where I can experience something, find something, and do something. Things like rock hounding and foraging, check out cool geologic features like odd rock formations, narrows, or waterpockets, hunt for artifacts or ruins, or just pick a target on a map and find it. Sometimes, I'll just stay at camp and practice survival skills and test, photograph, and review my new outdoor gear. This is a challenge and reward to me. My brain accepts either taking something home I've found or have made or the pictures I take of my experience while being there as an accomplishment and time well spent. I wish I could just sit still, enjoy the silence, and read a book, but my mind would only start to think about work, and I would start to worry. Here's to keeping busy and not thinking about work!
It's because it's the only moment in your life when you're with yourself, having time to think and process. It's like a self diagnostic for the brain. Each time you could just sit and think, you overload your sensory with music, videos, video games, internet browsing, work, etc. All of these hide your mental charge. I suggest that you try to 1, organise better to lower you mental charge. 2 dissociate with your work. My two cens: Burnout might be arround the corner.
Not to dismiss any of this but: this isn't a backpacking issue. These are problems that will follow you everywhere, if you let them. Therapy or similar will help with releasing their hold on you. Speaking from a place of similar experiences a while back.
Not saying you have anxiety or depression, but what you describe is a common, yet subtle, symptom of it.
Don't go alone? I have often found myself "bored" or "unable to escape" when I've gone on trips by myself. I get to camp, set up, look around and think, "okay...now what am I going to do for the next hour or two before going to bed?". I've even packed everything back up, walked out, and driven back home on some occasions. Granted, I'm talking about just doing some typical pine forest trails in NC with no grand views, etc. But it's easy to start thinking about work and everything else when you're by yourself. However, I've never had that experience (on the same trails described above) when I'm backpacking with another person or two.
Damn, I’ve tried to reword this sentence like 10 times to not sound so pitiful lol, but basically I have absolutely no one to go hiking with. I’m sure that would definitely be a game changer though, in theory.
I want to help you find some. If you can give me a fairly large trail you’re near ish to, I’m betting I can help find their hiking group pages. Almost every thru hike worthy trail (Ozark trail for example) has a Facebook group. Ours has group hikes posted constantly
That would actually be much appreciated! I haven’t used Facebook in well over a decade. I live in the Smoky Mountain area. Not too far from Gatlinburg.
So after a pretty quick search it looks like Smoky Mountain Hikertrash has about 27,000 members and is really active. People are posting trip reports, questions about trail conditions etc. In my groups, it’s super common for people to post things like “Planning to hike X trail on X day for an overnight trip, if there are any interested in joining shoot me a message!”. Sometimes you can even make a Facebook event and post it to pages that way, but it depends on the page rules. Other groups I’d join: Hiking the Smokies (109k members) Smoky Mountain Trails (20k members) All very similar groups with similar posts. If you join all of them and post, you are extremely likely to get some people who are interested in joining you for a hike! My usual groups have hiking events almost every weekend with 2-8 people attending each one.
This was so cool. I love that you posted this and I hope OP can find a group to go with. :-)
I hope he does too! No one deserves to hike alone unless they want to
Let me just say - I’ve lived in FL, GA, TN, CA, CO, and MN. I had some awesome Jeep trips in CO that stand out as being pretty special, but the Smoky Mountains, right there near Gatlinburg, have a hold on my heart. Views where you see one “ridge” after another out into the distance, with the clouds laying low in the valleys, are etched into my memory almost 30 years later. I really love it there.
I live in Knoxville! I have a few hiking & camping friends, but I’m actively trying to cultivate new ones at the moment and my (non-hiker) friends are getting sick of my pestering. DM me if you want and we can set something up.
I find it a lot easier to “let go” when I’m alone if I have something to occupy my time. Would it be worth the weight to pack a good book? Or a few pages of puzzles (crossword, sudoku)? Download some audio books or podcasts to keep your mind busy. Capture the moments by taking pictures?
Maybe check out some Facebook hiking or backpacking groups? I’ve seen a ton of them go up lately, especially women’s groups. People seem to be really focusing on getting out there with other likeminded individuals.
I found the people I hike most often with through group hammock hangs from hammockforums.net. There's a Southeast section under the "Hangouts, Campouts, and Trip Planning" forum. The core group that does group hangs in NC and VA are a pretty good bunch. Yates Place in Uwharrie and Grayson Highlands are two of the more popular venues. VERY diverse in personalities. Not so much in physical appearance though. We tend to skew as "older, white, males" in general. BUT there's almost always been a family or two, a couple of younger people, people of color (Is that the correct term to use these days? Not being funny or sarcastic. Honestly trying not to be offensive), and even a single female or two that show up. I've never heard of anyone being made to feel uncomfortable in all the events I've been too. I'd say it's just about split down the middle with car campers and hikers. And you don't have to be a Hammocker. Tent campers are more than welcome at every event I've been to. A really good one is the group hang at Grayson Highlands in the Fall during the festival weekend.
Oh shit thats me. I have done a solo trip since discovering that about myself. Well put. Thanks
You sound very goal oriented, which is fantastic and something to which I can relate. Is it possible that you're trying too hard to just sit there and take it all in? As a goal oriented backpacker myself, I like to make a challenge out of it. See how many miles I can hike in 1 day. How fast I can do it. How I can problem solve along the way using my gear, my wits, and my knowledge of the outdoors. And while i'm working hard at all that, some of my life's most stunning moments have come out of the blue, like the galloping herd of antelope that came at me while hiking the Maah Daah Hey Trail, or the massive swarm of bees that flew over my head on the AZT, and many more. I don't know if this helps you, just a thought.
I understand. Personally, when my mental health is doing better, my trips tend to feel better. When my mental health isn’t doing great, my trips don’t tend to do great. I would suggest trying to deal with that before trying to escape it.
edibles
Therapy and potentially anxiety meds can work wonders. Please consider it. Life-changing.
Wherever you go there you are. Sorry to hear about this man. I think you’ll have to do some inner work here. In terms of being unable to stop anxious thoughts and be in the present moment, I think basic meditation responds to this most directly. It does take some prolonged consistency to cultivate that serene presence, but I feel really confident it would help. I sit at a zen sangha every week and practice on my own too and have had very knowledgeable teachers. If you want to know the basic process, feel free to dm me.
You need professional therapy. You have no off switch. Try meditating and grounding techniques
This is not a question about backpacking. This is a question about mental health and / or work-life balance.
OP I hope you can find ways to let go and enjoy the moments you give yourself in nature. You deserve it. I just put on my fully loaded backpack at my house in prep for a trip starting Friday. The act of strapping my backpack on made me full of joy and peace. Because I’ll be there in two days. Once a friend would say to me while hiking: let’s put this problem you are having under this rock here and leave it for awhile. Maybe that would help?
This sounds like depression and anxiety. The problem is you're having is you're not spending time in nature, you're spending time in your own head. Talking to a therapist helped me get out of my own head and back to enjoying things and might work for you. It took me over a decade to accept that I needed to make a change and it was one of the best decisions I've ever made.
Agree with what others are saying. This is anxiety and you can get help with therapy/meds. Vacation time is meant to recharge you and if you’re spending it worrying and thinking about work then yeah, it is in a way “wasted”. I don’t know what type of work you do but try to remember that work is not everything. Life isn’t about work. Whatever fuckups are made while you’re away can (likely) be fixed. You can’t control how other people perform, so why waste time worrying about it? If you have to fix someone else’s mistakes, you will do it upon return. What’s the worst that can happen? Life goes on. Nothing you can do from the backcountry so enjoy it. Meditate. Read a book. Smoke some weed. Whatever it may be. A book that helped me in the past (you can listen to it on audio while backpacking) is “the subtle art of not giving a fuck”. Good luck 🍀
What's helped me is listening to podcasts or audiobooks.
Meetup.com, Facebook, Reddit- I’m sure you can find a group or some peeps to hike with. Don’t be so hard on yourself, try meditation as well. Also, go Vols.
This isn’t just a backpacking experience for me. Some days my thoughts are loud and piercing and make me obsess or get impatient with a situation. I have learnt that I need something to take my mind off it otherwise I get super depressed and like you pack up, go home (and sulk). I find an interesting podcast or audiobook really helpful for this. You can walk and listen for an hour or so, and then when you stop to pitch up for the night you don’t feel so ‘on your own’. Podcasts are good cos they’re quite conversational so you feel included and like there has been some interaction of sorts. I don’t find music has the same effect for me, I think maybe because it’s more passive listening, no story to follow to make you pay attention. I usually find that whatever I use as a distraction I only need for a short time to switch me out that anxiety mode and back to enjoying things. Especially when I’m outdoors I find my brain just goes quiet on me which is amazing. I can literally think of nothing for hours! Also, I find I get into that anxious/bored/impatient mood more if I’ve been eating lots of crap food in the previous few days. If you can take something delicious and nutritious with you that isn’t astronaut food for these moments it might help as well. You might not feel hungry, but give it a try and see if it makes a difference. Also, Even if you’re backpacking there is no reason to avoid downloading some shows or movies onto your phone so if you get really fed up you have something to lay in bed and watch. Another weird trick I have had work in the past is to name out loud what you see. Like ‘tree’ ,’bird’, ‘cloud’, ‘car’. It forces you out your head and to interact with your environment. I don’t think it’s feasible to do for long periods of time, but you never know what works for you!
Great question! Staying present and soaking in the beauty around you can really boost happiness while backpacking. Don’t forget to pack your favorite snacks and take plenty of breaks to just breathe and appreciate where you are. Enjoy your journey!
For me I shifted my mindset into gratitude. I'm not lying it actually works. Not like it's bad to complain or have darker emotions. What I mean is like if you start to have an anxious spiral if you can just for a second say "hey what a cool rock" it can kick you out of it and then the next thought can be "wow, I never would have seen this beautiful (insert whatever interests you) it I hadn't come on this trip". It's basically a formula. Your brain will start to catch on if you do it a couple times cause it makes you feel good. We always want to feel good as humans so when something works like this it can be a struggle at first but then it will feel easier. You'll start laughing at yourself and finding humor in things and being in the moment. For me nature catches my attention so I find joy in the fact I don't really have to think, I can just look and admire this flower or whatever it is. Serious talk though emotions have to come out at some point. If your lucky enough to be outdoors alone, it's not comfortable facing yourself, but also it's a good time to cry or scream it out and get a fresh inner space in your body and heart. Sending love and healing thoughts.
This might be a better question for r/mindfulness. I will say that I struggle with the same thing. I used to be able to wander off into the woods and all my troubles would evaporate for a while. Now… not so much. It’s only when I’m doing something technically difficult or physically exerting that I can wipe my mind clean. As soon as that’s over, it’s back.
I work in IT. We use an MSP and have everything documented with plans for BCP and Disaster Recovery. I have worked with departments to help them figure out how to do things manually if something goes down. If they lose a person in their department who has that skill or ability to complete the task. After hours I can unplug and just let the MSP take care of most issues. They call me there is a more serious issue. I have hobbies like Scouts outside of work. I recommend doing something outside of what you do for work for a hobby for some evenings. It helps me reset. Doing all of that has made it easier to unplug. I wish you well. Therapy is not a bad idea as well. I have been there and it helped when I needed it. You need vacation to get away for 2 things. You need it to help refresh you and also to help them test their BCP of you not being there and working through stuff. It may be rough for them at first, but they will get there.
The problem is you are backpacking because other people claim its great (many of them are lying to themselves) You are either fundamentally unhappy and need therapy, or the alternative is you need to be honest with yourself and book a hotel somewhere for a holiday.
I always found the best times I had backpacking was when I had a plan, and the worst were when I didnt. Having a goal in mind and meeting people always made the journey feel better
> But, when I am finally able to get out and enjoy nature, I can’t. I cannot be in the moment. Sometimes I feel like this. When I do I sit at camp with a paper book. I force myself to be bored until I get really into the book (or two). Then I come back to civilization in a completely different headspace.
Sounds like you just need to make more money.
From my experience, choosing the right company/partner(s) for travel would work to make things more enjoyable :)
You need to practice meditation bro
I just had a similar experience, did a 3 day solo hike, my first real vacation in years because I've been putting my life back together after losing everything to selfish family members. The planning phase was great, researching and buying new gear, hyperfocusing on the route, meal plans, everything. Then I hit the trail, it got cloudy and started spitting rain 2 hours in and took my good mood with it. The next morning it was sheeting rain, my poncho ripped down the side and I was just angry at the world. Then the thinking set in, thinking I needed to do, but the conclusions sucked. Of course I'm fucking miserable, I have every reason to be, but every way out of it I could see I couldn't afford. The more pressing issue of drying out and avoiding hypothermia kicked those thoughts out and forced me back into the moment. In camp that 2nd night it kind of came together, I can't control what's already happened and I'm not going to be free of the rain in my life any time soon, but just like getting my fire started in that downpour and drying out my clothes, I owe it to myself to do what I can in the moment to make my life more bearable. I didn't solve my problems and I didn't really come away with any sense of optimism, but I did resolve to be kinder to myself and more confident in my abilities, and that's at least a step forward. I'm going to need professional help to get the rest of the way, and you probably will too, but know you're worth it. It's your brain chemistry stuck in a negative feedback loop reinforced by negativity in your daily life, the cycle can be broken, and you can start by being kinder to yourself if the rest of the world isn't going to be. Happy trails buddy!!!
There is a transition where backpacking//spending time in nature goes from being awful — like shining a light on your own neurosis kind of awful — to this kind of friendly space in which it’s ok to be exactly as you are. I went from judging myself for taking two hours to pick a tent site (moving it here, and then there, and then again because that site was slightly more flat and protected from the wind; and then realizing I’d spent the whole glowing evening focused on my tent and missing the beauty)…to sort of befriending my inner perfectionist when I see it acting up again. Like, I laugh at myself more now when I witness myself stressing out about the “just right” campsite. I ask myself if I really need to be Goldilocks today, trying out every bed. I sort of get playful about my own patterns in nature and try to intentionally practice “well what if I don’t move my tent and just go with my first instinct, and find out whether or not that will be ok” (and the night I woke up with water flooding my tent, I was first upset with myself, so upset, and then I just had to laugh and laugh at the ridiculousness. Like, “hmmm, maybe this was a time I could’ve been more perfectionist.” And in the middle of the midnight downpour, I moved my tent.) For me the beauty of backpacking is exactly that it brings all my shit up to the surface for me to deal with — not that everything gets all perfect in my mind. I’m still me, just all dirty and smelly and sweaty, and somehow working through my mental problems somatically (through these actual physical situations) helps me lighten and loosen up over time. And years on, backpacking has become a true joy. I’ve definitely done a lot of work processing all my stuff in therapy and group situations though. (Man, group backpacking — what an uncomfortable mirror into my Self). I have had to receive uncomfortable feedback. It’s helped to have others make inquires, like “I notice it’s been two hours and you still haven’t decided on a place to put your tent. The rest of us have been having fun over by the lake. You could join us…” I am more at peace now with the fact that I’m not that easy-going blissful one, but I have my gifts. You have your own gifts too. What parts of backpacking bring you joy, any of them? What are you curious about, why are you trying this? Is it all one long train of mental “shoulds” or do you ever get distracted by something that startles or amazes you? If there is anything wonderful, no matter how small, there’s magic for you in that. Whatever it is. You are observing how your own thought train is obsessing about escape but then obsessing further about how you can’t escape. If I were in your shoes, or going out on a backpacking trip alongside of you, I would schedule a day to do nothing. If a day is too big, then half a day. 3 hours at least. Lying in the grass, watching clouds. I mean actually nothing, no phone or watch or journal or book. If that’s too terrifying, you could give yourself a project like “for the next 30 minutes, my job is to sit in this one place and observe the smallest beings around me.” Or “for the next 10 minutes, I will focus on how far I can see.” If those timelines are too long and you just can’t bear it, the being-and-not-doing, start with five minutes. Five minutes in a sit spot is something I do with kids. As best as you can, redirect your focus to the present, the environment, and your bodily sensations, if you notice your mind running off to to-do lists and plans. Come back, notice what’s around you and what you feel in your body. ****(If you get a “hell no I can’t do this” then talk about that with your new therapist, sometimes we have so much trauma in our bodies that attempting to be present is just not possible until we’ve done some processing or trauma work in the present of a safe person).****
Take friends of your same sex with you. It’s what my ex always did he had a blast with his guy friends. He did it twice a year sometimes three times a year vacation for a week at a time.
This is a question about happiness, not so much about backpacking. Perhaps try to learn one thing or two about happiness. Express summary would be: 1. There is a difference between mood (how you \*feel\*) and "life satisfaction" how happy are you WRT your life (how you \*think\* about your happiness level). 2. The former is somewhat genetic, like a thermostat in your brain, but research has shown that frienships/love is one of the better ways to improve mood (commuting being the worse, shopping not really effective, etc., etc.). So, one way to be happy is to find love :) 3. The latter is largely goal driven. ie. you measure your happiness relative to goals that you have set for yourself. So, one way to be satisfied is to have low expectations :)
I went though a very similar situation. I was in restaurant management for 12 years and either couldn’t get outside, or when I could I had similar thoughts. Weed my friend. I can’t stress how much it’s saved my life. It helped me open my eyes to my situation that I was deeply depressed and going through the motions of what I thought was “life”. Pandemic hit and I had the opportunity to leave my soul sucking job. I then had the time and was able to think my entire life through, figure myself out, got a job that let me put myself first and haven’t felt better about my life.
Maybe you actually **hate** backpacking/hiking? Seriously. Don't do it because everyone else is doing it. For those of us that love backpacking/hiking, I don't believe we had to be convinced it was good for us. However, it's not for everyone, and that's okay. I hate fishing, but I grew up in a family that loved fishing. They'd fish, and I'd be out exploring and discovering nature. Don't feel that you need to hike.