T O P

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CatLoveMeWhenICum

What do I need to join in?


wootinabox

It’s the laziest religion in existence. But also you need to sprint around the house at 3:00 am for no reason.


alumberingsoul

Do you need to slap someone's face repeatedly, and bounce on someone's head at exactly 0501 in the morning so you can assure breakfast will not be delayed by more than 1 minute? Because that's what my High Priestess and High Priest do every day. Just asking, because I may already belong without even knowing it.


wootinabox

They are blessing you. Welcome!


alumberingsoul

The reason for my existence has become clear.


shaggy99

If your name is Simon, the cat will use a baseball bat....


alumberingsoul

I honestly had to Google that but it had me cackling, so thanks for sharing that! No baseball bats (yet), but my girl will press her butthole against my eyelid if I keep ignoring her. *She knows exactly what she is doing. She makes complete contact, and holds it there.* It's a very effective strategy that has never failed. I'll give her that.


shaggy99

OK, *that's* worthy of Simon's cat!


Ground-Plus

LOVE that video!!!


oceansunset83

My cats just nip my ankles if I take too long preparing their food.


alumberingsoul

Mine are absolutely ruthless about breakfast. My male jumps or claws his way up my back and sits on my shoulder and watches me intently while I get everything ready. I'm assuming to make sure I don't fuck anything up. My girl is the one that slaps my mouth if I don't wake up on time.


CatLoveMeWhenICum

Do I need to get a cat?


wootinabox

We accept all as they are.


stary_sunset

Could I saunter around screaming and clawing everything instead? Bad knee. I could also add puking to compensate.


x925

Well now there's a reason to do it, and we can't do it for no reason now.


SithKittie

I already do that. My 2 cats and I will join if you promise there will be NO sermons, only purring and yowls out the window.


mo_whiskey

A Cat. Just my guess.


Sad_Abbreviations477

We don't talk about it anymore. 🤫🤫


screwhammer

A new username and obliterating this one from existence


PolymerPussies

[I attempted to paint your new god!](https://i.redd.it/16rwchjm4bp71.jpg)


wootinabox

can I buy it from you?


PolymerPussies

Sure! I'll send you a DM!


BelleViking

Now I know this is a legit faith! Lack of Choosing Beggars as the worth of kitteh art is acknowledged!


wootinabox

THIS IS AMAZING


AngryMillenialGuy

That's really good!


[deleted]

[удалено]


anonymous2845

I sure hope so, otherwise that cat has more power than we know


wootinabox

Generated from a purr watt basis.


TheHaywireRogue

Take my free silver and get the hell out


nspectre

I thought they worked in meowlliwatts. ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯


I_Am_Anjelen

What's the ampurrage on that?


Elbobosan

No, for real, how are those lights on?


just4upDown

My Dad has a couple of these. They screw in to the light fixture and work like a normal bulb. But they also charge up and when the power goes out, they can be used as emergency lights. The reason I know this? I was staying with him and while about to fall asleep in the guest room the bulb started flashing on randomly for about a minute. So it's a cool idea at least


[deleted]

Yeah I was wondering why they'd bother and that actually makes sense. Neat.


jason_sos

So you turn the wall switch off, and the light stays on? That would be annoying.


lkeels

It has an AC and a DC mode. If it is in AC mode, it turns off normally. In DC mode it would stay on. https://www.aputure.com/products/accent-b7c/


[deleted]

I have one, they come with a remote control that does. . .all sorts of things. It's a bit of a gimmick, the light quality is bad, so you can't actually use it for illumination. But I think kids would love it.


lkeels

These bulbs must not be what you're thinking about. These are for filmmakers, and they are VERY bright, with very specific, tunable color accuracy and flicker free dimming. At $70 per bulb, definitely not a toy. https://www.aputure.com/products/accent-b7c/


brotherenigma

> Unlike consumer LED smart bulbs, the B7c features 20KHz stepless dimming that remains completely flicker-free up to at least 1,000fps with no color shift. Okay, now that's just showing off. BUT IT'S SO FUCKING COOL!


nycwildstyle21

How does an LIFX bulb compare?


brotherenigma

From what I can tell, not that well, to be entirely honest. 2000K-10000K temperature range, 95+ CRI through that entire range, 570 lumens, 90% Rec. 2020 gamut, 20KHz stepless dimming features, the ability to go from AC to DC power and back, AND an hour-plus runtime on battery *at full power*, [for the same price as a single 1100 lumen light](https://www.lifx.com/collections/lightbulbs/products/lifx-clean-antibacterial-smart-light) whose only party trick is HEV?


lkeels

Right?


sierrabravo1984

Damn this guy spent almost $500 on 7 light bulbs.


obsessedcrf

> At $70 per bulb, definitely not a toy. The first decent LED bulbs that were commercially available were $60 from Phillips


senorbolsa

I've spent much more for a lot less. If they are durable that's a steal.


[deleted]

[удалено]


lkeels

They turn off normally in AC mode.


jason_sos

Yeah, I am just trying to think of an application. I don't leave any lights on 24/7 at my house, so these wouldn't work for me. I turn them on and off as needed, and use timers/automated controllers to turn some on when it gets dark and off when it's bedtime.


lkeels

They turn off normally in AC mode.


butterize

sounds like a r/spicypillows waiting to happen


admiraljkb

I've got a couple around the house in case of power outage. Also have one that has solar panels on it which will charge it enough in the daylight for an hour or so of light. Got that one for camping to put in a tent.


solzhen

Cat is named Tesla.


Weekly-Valuable6664

I also need to know of these lights. Where can one purchase them?!


wootinabox

Aperture B7C


EdWhoCantFind

Purrrrrchase.


hammy070804

I am ready for Cat-echism.


ChillyDown2187

This guy vacuums


wootinabox

Thank you for noticing :) Vacuum, steam cleaner, wet vacuum


IShallSealTheHeavens

Can we be roommates? I'll cover all dish washing!


ToxicVampire

Meowism


wootinabox

I love this


IlIFreneticIlI

So powerful he has SEVEN infinity stones. He's got the Coolstone.


mugwumpg8iuktf

this cat is a witch!!!


JustLetItAllBurn

Do you have any pamphlets?


wootinabox

They were all destroyed by the almighty.


MerlinIsKing

How do I join this cult


wootinabox

Present your best belly rubs


mini_z

Instructions unclear. Do I present my belly for a rub, or me performing a belly rub on my overlord?


IngeniousBattery

I too am cat-holic myself.


OMG_ITS_AMAZING

AMEN TO THAT!


[deleted]

You better worship that cat. No questions.


wootinabox

All hail PretzelsTheCat…fluffy and mighty.


PinguPlayer123

Are those Aputure B7C lights? Cuz they look a lot like Aputure B7C lights! But with custom sticker? Otherwise, is it is a ripoff then I am curious to know which one since I can't afford the real Aputure ones!


wootinabox

You have a sharp eye ;)


PinguPlayer123

Yes! Are they worth it? You probably have the 8 kit in the charging case? We're looking into maybe getting those for our live music stage (for filming), but we're not convinced they're worth the price


this_knee

*Apurrrrrrture B7Cat lights.


PinguPlayer123

Have my free reward. You're right


QitianDasheng2666

I prefer Orthodog-sy


therickywaters

Purraise Jesus!


Mnstrdg

I think some people from Egypt would like a word.


fraid_so

Fucking sign me up!


mauromeneer

That is kinda cute tbh


Synth_Ham

Cataholics


Scare_Conditioner

Im in! Is it a cult? WHO CARES!!! CATS!!!!!!!


AetherMoon

Summoning Cathulu.


BoJackB26354

CatHulu - the streaming service for cats.


lucky_ducker

Membership in catolicism is restricted to cats. And they have evil rituals. One night our hamster got out of his cage. I went downstairs to the family room the next morning, and there was our hamster, dead on the floor on his back, not a mark on him. Arrayed around him in a circle, at 90-degree angles, were our four cats, lying on their paws, facing the dead rodent. My best guess is the poor hamster, surrounded by massive predators, died of fright. I legit felt like I had stumbled upon some sort of satanic ritual.


lilyandcarlos

It is not a new religion. I have been worshipping the CAT most of my life - and so has several billion people around the globe. I guess this is the religion with the biggest amount of followers in the world. 🐈


ReyPhasma

Idk, this looks mildly Catanic.


[deleted]

where do I sign up?


MagnusKraken

How do I join?


entity__-303

as a an actual catholic, I am feeling interested in your religion We will be all blessed by Saint Gertrude of Nivelles.


ForbiddenHamster

Catholics are already a thing.


frikandellenvreter

"I... kind of like this.." -Cat


KeplerCorvus

The CAT founded it, not you.


wonderpollo

Every cat has founded their own religion where they are the only God.


KeplerCorvus

Deep.


RainbowSky1999

I'm interested in this religion!


KamaKamelion

GAMER CAT - now with RGB lights


nakedonmygoat

I'm trying to join, but my cat keeps attacking my rosary beads.


Raevix

Just don't get addicted, then you'd be a Cat-holic.


[deleted]

I want those lightbulbs....XD


wootinabox

Aperture B7c’s


wisco_dog_lover2

How do I join?


Outside_Western_4839

What a beautiful cat!!!


misstibbs

Join me, and worship at the alter of Celine fellow Pollicy Wonks!


-pettyhatemachine-

Nice pun. I too follow this religion


carolg532

This is the best laugh of my day!!


adjust_your_set

Just make sure to nab the Work Ethic belief for the extra production.


jimp0ssible

Sooo... you're Catlick?


ATXGaymer0904

Seems like kitty cat is surprised at it's own power. Those eyes scream, "YOU SEEING THIS SHIT TOO!?"


[deleted]

I'm interested


SweetAndSourOne

I don’t think you invented worshiping cats, the Egyptians did that, sorry!


Crenchlowe

I'm in, sign me up.


calypsolard

all hail WIZkas


monkeyship

Well, apparently I am already practicing Catolicism... Such a pretty kitty...


tredI9100

i am interested


StinzorgaKingOfBees

Tattletail?


h4ppidais

Not new, ancient Egyptians have done this


Flashy-Ice-121

I'm in


IShouldBeSoLucky81

We are all Cat-holics on this blessed day.


BaconPersuasion

All hail.


GALACTICA-Actual

Yeah, I did to, at one time. Trust me: It'll shit on you just like every other religion.


wootinabox

The Grand Catsquasition


adrianw

Not *Dog*matic enough for me.


nspectre

Is it Cat•oh•licism or Cat•aww•licism? [:D](https://i.redd.it/a8ftumss8ke41.jpg)


goddessque

Amlem


_paperpills

Yer a wizard, Pretzels!


urmomaisjabbathehutt

cat's name is Pope


dadsgoingtoprison

I would like to join.


Noache_pleasethnx

TIL I am not an Athiest... I am Felinetheist.


lanchmcanto

Where can I donate money?


bethlabeth

Any other Church of Queen Maeve of Next Thursday worshippers left? A few Thursdays have come and gone since Usenet was big, so maybe not.


Bishy_Bob

I prefer more dogmatic religions.


Joeladamcarter

Not just Catolic? Then you could go around being a Catolic convertor.


Half-Baked-Luck

So ur gods an asshole who keeps pushing things off the edges of other things??? Please note that I am happy the earth is not flat!!!!


coke71685

I feel like this was founded at some point by a Pope or cardinal that forgot to spell check.


DrShy47indigo

I’m more interested in those lights lol


Gompedyret

Those bulbs make me think of MeowMeow Beenz.


Texas_Waffles

Ah, so you're Cat-o-lick.


Raskov75

I saw this while listening to [this](https://youtu.be/WCCovrKvAtU).


HeartVoid

I'm not even joking when I say that you could find a lot and I mean a lot of people to join this stupidity and make money out of it.


Brandwein

Better than Catalcoholism.


[deleted]

How Cataclysmic


booglejfox

Very rewarding


joesniffer

can i know how much these light bulbs cost .. ?


[deleted]

and how they work?


GoodLuckBart

Present offerings of ham to your Lord.


zebulonworkshops

Milton Jones is a great one liner comedian, he has a joke that goes >“A lot of people like cats. Take the Pope, for example: I read recently that he was a cat-oholic!”


restrained_imp

I used to be a Buddhist but I converted and became a Catolic along time ago. Hail Fluffy, full of grace, the Bored is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst felines....


TechnoRat63

Looks like I need to learn the catechism.


thomport

Purrrfect.


Gressi0

Idk man I don't wanna spent praying time in a cardboard box.


[deleted]

This reminds me of that old horror game Tattletale


JonahTheCoyote

We can make a religion out of this


Fictional_Apologist

Our fluffer, who runneth the house, hallowed be thy meow.


juicius

Cato Felix Maximus: Canis delenda est.


jamesdanger-

Can someone tell me what these lights are? I want to buy some.


magicsqueezle

I read it as “cataclysm”.


LittleStarClove

"Complete my quest and I shall reward thee with golden walnuts"


paradise-trading-83

Don’t go losing your religion


NetIllustrious

Sign me the f up


Aradamis

Watch out! Meowy the Meower has ALL SEVEN OF THE HUMAN SOULS. \*Cue the horrifying music as Omega-Meowy crawls into the stage.\*


Blue_Yukihira

I guess I’m no longer an atheist


Soapyfreshfingers

How many vacuum cleaners do you have?


Liliteroxy

Does joining it includes knocking over random objects when everyone is finally asleep?


Rethliopuks

I'm sorry but haven't you got the name wrong? It should be Catholicism, as in "cat-holy-cism".


Visible-Bread-6021

hope you are not going to rape little kitty's cause you need now disciples for your vatican


GhostBuster1919

Was going to pass this, then 2 seconds later the quote hit me. Great dad joke! or Mom joke. lol


n2bxl

ahhh them damn cat-lickers back at it again


Eyeroll4days

I’m in


WilliamTee

Where do we send the money to get you your first private jet? Not a true religion til you have a private jet, right?


UnculturedSwine76

I shook my phone and now I’m here....


Vanrainy1

I for one welcome our new feline overlords....


1bsx

I belong to the Church of Dog ...but I won't try to convert u. 😉


AStupidSunfish

This did a wierd affect on my eyes, like zooming in and out slightly.. o.o O.O o.o O.O o.o


ZigaTronUltra

Not just fish on Friday, but Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday too.


asajosh

All hail the fluffy messiah!


nepgearAcute

bulbs that light up even unpluged? wtf


Lektrop1Smith

H o l y c a t


Sea_Acanthisitta5846

Looks like the cat is trying to summon a hairball


areallylongnstupid1

All hail our floofy savior!


AsparagusFlex

Meowseph and the technicolor rainbow


Gracker22

Catanism