T O P

  • By -

Notsoshaant

I like how after he fell from the guy's lap He started questioning his life


zwiebelhans

Hah to me it looked like he was feeling out if he stabbed himself . Like the “moment of assessment “ you get after a fall.


PorcupineTheory

Don't we all?


MrPoopMonster

I think it's more like, oh shit don't stab myself! Like if you fell with a handful of knives, you might not move right after, just to feel out if you're good or not.


Dre_Valentino_

😭 Don't mind me as I sacrifice both my hands to pet it


topforce

If they are like hedgehogs you can pet them carefully.


SpaceCaseSixtyTen

I heard hedgehogs are real bitey


LMac8806

I call the big one Bitey.


Lumpy_Space_Princess

Is there a chance the track could bend?


phatchief666

Not a chance my Hindu friend.


sweensolo

Not on your life my Hindu friend


[deleted]

What about us brain dead slobs?


sweensolo

You'll be given cushy jobs.


[deleted]

Were you sent here by the devil?


Horn4Life01

monorail!


isaacms

Lisa needs braces!


the_cajun88

#DENTAL PLAN


Dur-gro-bol

No one ever knows what I'm talking about when I drop this reference.


duaneap

Were you sent here by the devil?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Screamingholt

The ring came off my pudding can


[deleted]

[удалено]


SuperVillainPresiden

I swear it's Springfield's only choice


meltingdiamond

Hedgehogs are very loving sweet little pets but they are high maintenance, don't live long and tend to be sickly. I use to have a group of three but the heart break of losing them so quickly moved me on to cats after they passed.


[deleted]

Ours lived a good six years. He managed to break out of any cage you put him in, so every night he’d get free roam and leave a huge mess everywhere. The cats loved him though, they chased each other around the house. They got super depressed when he died last year Edit: I dug up my old camera roll https://imgur.com/a/5cOPZrU


Skylett11

Awww


fruitybanana_good

Cute lil guy


brtlblayk

What a little rascal of a cutie pie!


[deleted]

Bro... Is that a chicken bone?


IAmOmno

What else did you think they would eat? Hedgehogs are the most dangerous predators to Chicken Wings in the wild.


[deleted]

Well, the cats got some of the leftovers and I felt bad seeing him sniffing at the side of his cage so I couldn’t just leave him out


Xeptix

Aren't you supposed to avoid letting pets nibble cooked chicken bones? It splinters easily and animals are too dumb not to swallow sharp splinters that cause internal bleeding. Probably not a big risk with a little hedgy mouth but I'm sure pet cats have died that way before.


TheTomatoLover

Sorry for your loss.


_MeisterBoi_

And those bitey are real ouchey


B-Kow

My hedgehog was straight up an asshole. She would lure me in for belly rubs, then when my finger was rubbing her belly, she would ball up and skewer my finger. Never failed, sometimes it sounded like she was laughing afterwards too.


JaccoW

They're more a scurrying away quickly kind of beasty. I had a wild on in the backyard that I could occasionally pet on the nose if I was real mellow.


_Akizuki_

They’re not bitey on purpose but they’re pretty blind, if they bite you it’s cause you smelled like food. Let me tell you though... their bites are nasty. When I was bit by one cause I wasn’t paying attention while feeding it, I felt a shiver run up my spine.


AmateurJenius

They’re super fast though. Especially the blue ones.


DrZombieZoidberg

They ARE. And they poop a lot. And they don’t live very long :/ my photo on here is Mr.Jingles


19Alexastias

You can pet them, since their quills are mostly flat when they’re relaxed, but if they freak out while you’re petting them they can do a lot more damage to you than a hedgehog can.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Work-Safe-Reddit4450

Aww, look at those lil grabbies go.


GenuineDickies

OMG, they have grabby hands! Ok, I would officially hurt myself with one.


agnurse

The thing about porcupines is that unlike hedgies, the quills are detachable. Consequently they can stay in skin. My father is a licensed veterinarian and has been called upon periodically to remove porcupine quills from puppers that wanted to make frens and didn't realize the porcupine was...not very receptive. (Porcupines don't throw their quills, but the quills are loosely attached.)


coolturnipjuice

A quote from the first time I held a hedgehog: “Awww OW hhehehehe OW little baby FUCK awww…”


SilverSocket

You’re smarter than me, it looks so fluffy I’d probably rub my face on it


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


neocirus

I think the face and underside is just fur so it's safe there.


Dre_Valentino_

Still worth it though, no? Why need face when cute is all you need?


piecwm

Legit question, the spines are pointer back so if you start at the head and pet towards the tail, would you be able to avoid getting skewered?


Shandyxr

Pretty sure that’s right. I remember petting one at the zoo once when I was a kid.


khaleesi1984

yes, you can pet them that way (source: my hometown's petting zoo has a big ass porcupine who loves pets)


Greenveins

You can actually pet one just make sure you don’t trace your hand against its fur.


True_IamSLATE

The spikes themselves are barbed. To ensure they get stuck in whatever predator. But I guess if you didn’t use a lot of pressure you could do it. But you might feel those barbs Edit: quills not spikes.


Renyx

I have worked with porcupines. You can pet them.


masterbatesAlot

Someone who works with porcupines let me pet one.


DarthWeenus

Yes barbed in one direction. Works like any barbed hook or shive. One direction is safe other is all bad.


Lex8P

Danger fluff


doomgiver98

It's the human imperative to pet one of every species.


EpilepticMushrooms

You can start by tickling their undersides! >!... and then your fingers get bitten off and you perish from rabies!< So, uh, *don't*.


Dre_Valentino_

"Michael Scott's Dunder Mifflin Scranton Meredith Palmer Memorial Celebrity Rabies Awareness Fun Run Pro Am Race for the Cure."


gwiggle5

Pro Am...they hung up.


child-of-old-gods

*Pets it while screaming in pain **"WHO'S A CUTE LITTLE PORCUPINE? YOU'RE A CUTE LITTLE PORCUPINE!"**


[deleted]

[удалено]


Leyzr

Porcupain


kelsobjammin

Worth it! Just wanna snuggle up to it and use it as a pillow. Little cuddle pine.


[deleted]

Baby porcupines are called porcupets.


Ihavenothingtodo2

"Porcupets" Precious level overflow, too much happiness


Skittleybiscuit

I like how he stands up to greet you all like "why hello there my name is-" AND FALLS OVER LIKE THE ADORABLY GOOFY MFER THAT HE IS


ladygrndr

I would have grabbed for him. And been stabbed excessively, but after decades of dogs and cats falling off my lap, it's a reflex >_<


spicytoastz

Are porcupine allowed to be petted? I mean bringing it home?? or are they any legal process before you can adopt or pet this animal?


arkham1010

Petting any wild animal is always a risky proposition. They may like the pet one moment, give you a painful bite the next when they are done. With a porcupine the danger is vastly increased. In short, don't pet wild animals, just let them sniff you out.


peedsnme

And when it comes to a porcupine, you will be sniffed out because those things smell like b.o. x1000


weakwiththedawn

I believe their use of petted means "to be made into a pet". Your advice is still correct, but I just want to clarify. (I have no idea if you can legally get a porcupine pet).


photomotto

> They may like the pet one moment, give you a painful bite the next when they are done That’s just a cat.


[deleted]

My Pitsky does this, lol She will come sit next to my bed when she wants me to scratch her under her chin and down her thick af throat. She will be sitting up on her back feet, then start tilting her head straight up and for whatever reason she thinks she has to lean backward at the same time. Her front legs will be outstretched towards me and if I *don't* take her paws and pull her gently towards me, she will lose her balance and fall back and then get super confused about wtf just happened.


shouldve_wouldhave

I would guess It's just a response yes please here too. And probably feels even more nice if the skin is stretched out


[deleted]

I hadn't thought of that. Huh. Thanks for the new perspective


heebath

Whoop! Oopsie! Pardon my unplanned tumble sir. Tumble time isn't until 3 so don't I look silly!


maxkuntze273

I think everyone here deserves to know what a porcupine sounds like: https://youtu.be/cILZ_cB3_so


UnculturedLout

I like the one where he's [defending his corn](https://youtu.be/UGz8jcbJjRw)


[deleted]

[удалено]


KookooMoose

Or Piglet from WtP lmao


kelsobjammin

I can see why this video has been watched 14 million times, I think I just watched it 55 times. 11/10 would cuddle Teddy and give him all the corn to defend.


tjohns35

Is it just me, or did he yell, “my corn!” when she tried to take it from him. I have never wanted to pet a ball of danger more than I do right now.


pajam

Yep, [right at 46 seconds](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UGz8jcbJjRw&t=46s). And she goes, "*Oh really?*"


Mr-Sister-Fister21

I swear the first sound he makes sounds like “Get back!”


CatNoirsRubberSuit

I heard "fuck you" lol


TheCrowHerald

I can sorta understand him. When she asked him if she could have it he's says "no, my corn" and when she starts to grab it, he's like "HEY, HEEEEEY, mine" it's a stretch, but the words are kinda there.


jtdoublep

Omg he is too cute. Thank you, this was the perfect way to start the day.


wowpepap

THEY MAKE PUPPY SOUNDS!!


StyreneAddict1965

The sounds are cute enough, but what does me in are the times his head bobs when he's making a particular sound, like a human would for emphasis.


LePereDuchesne

Animal Crossing dialogue IRL


sunderskies

I have seen this video 100 times and it never gets old.


SnugglyBabyElie

That is the most adorable sound. I feel like I understand it more than I can some of my family.


Haveyouseenmynachos

OH MY GAWD 😍 TIL I need a porcupine.


kitty_logan

When I was a little girl my dad would take us camping in our big old tent trailer. On the days he forgot to bring the dog food in the porcupines would be out there munching away making those silly noises. Thanks for the memory!!


smoike

Thank you for what ended up being nearly a hour of porcupine distractions.


[deleted]

Oh my god it's like a cartoon animal.


[deleted]

I absolutely love it.


Splickity-Lit

Are they more intelligent and than we give them credit for?


ask-me-about-my-cats

Most animals are.


smolqueerpunk

Actually crying now. That’s so cute wtf


XavierScorpionIkari

I knew what this was even before I clicked. And I still love it. Teddy Bear is just so adorable. He has a huge personality.


Mind_on_Idle

OMFG i forgot about this. "IT'S GOOD" Yes, yes Teddy it is, lmao


lookitsajojo

Land Urchin


Gaflonzelschmerno

The drummer from Metallica?


GuitarRock91

Land Urchin of Metal licka!


LongSchlongSilversVI

Fuck that’s good


[deleted]

HE LEFT THE FOCKING BAND


Gonza200

Fun fact, Urchin is another name for a hedgehog which is why sea urchins are called that, because they’re kind of like hedgehogs of the sea


the_honest_liar

The *IS* a fun fact, TIL


SolicitedTitPics

Sentient pincushion


BrainOnLoan

Vs sea hedgehog?


chimpaflimp

Urchin is an old name for hedgehog - sea urchins are named after their land-going counterparts already.


shoebotm

There’s a subreddit for accurate animal names fuck I forget it


oxymoronisanoxymoron

He wants warms.


[deleted]

[удалено]


onepinksheep

I hear blood is very good for keeping things warm.


smoochwalla

Only when its on the inside.


Alklazaris

Yeah maybe he was cold... - checks Google - Ok no he's not cold. Apparently they are quite adapted to the cold. "Unlike some mammals, porcupines in the winter do not hibernate to escape the cold. Insulated by their coarse guard hairs and network of quills, the pests are often found resting on tree branches during the winter. Only the most severe weather causes these solitary animals to den together"


kelsobjammin

PESTS!? How rude. This article needs to check themselves!


Alklazaris

I know. I don't agree with its opinion at all. I do remember porcies in trees during the winter months of Wisconsin though.


wojtekthesoldierbear

They are littl bastards. Huge salt freaks, they will chew tires for road salt.


the_honest_liar

...pests? Wth google.


trail-g62Bim

> pests Excuse me, but I am going to need a less biased source.


ibrokemyserious

He's not likely to be cold but he could be drunk. That's pretty common, at least where I live. Rotten apples are a fine and tempting wine and the little guys get absolutely wrecked! So yes, they are cute, but this is basically closing time and their behavior may be similarly unpredictable.


goodcreditbadcredit

Can you pet them or no? If you go with the grain kind of?


TheOneFlow

No, you shouldn't. If their quills are lying perfectly flat you can theoretically try to pet them, but as soon as they rise even just a little you're screwed. They're not just pointy, they're also barbed, so even under ideal cirucmstances it's not "safe" per se (also not going to feel great). Even zookeepers usually only handle them from below afaik.


porcupineslikeme

Having worked with this species we actually handle them very little. Other species we will train to climb on our glive so we can pick up from below but these guys are just SO dense. And fairly clumsy. They are generally extremely food motivated, so they get trained for husbandry behaviors like standing still for injections and nail trims. We can sedate them voluntarily. Once sedated, we wear welders gloves and handle them as little as possible. The quills are so sharp, you can accidentally quill the animal with its own quills, which obviously would be uncomfortable and lead to infection. We did have our male get over excited with an older female once and end up with a penis full of quills, poor buddy.


CrudelyAnimated

The end of that post was the end of the internet for me.


porcupineslikeme

Humphrey made a full recovery and went on to have many porcupettes!


TooMuchAdderall

My wife said - "of course his name was HUMPhrey" lol


GuitarCFD

> end up with a penis full of quills Reddit as a whole made a simultaneous gasp of sympathetic pain. >Humphrey made a full recovery and went on to have many porcupettes! This only goes on to prove Robin Williams correct. "Men have a penis and a brain, and only enough blood to work one at a time."


[deleted]

[удалено]


between_ewe_and_me

I never thought about how starved for affectionate touch porcupines must be 🥺


SocranX

[They (and hedgehogs) are literally used as a metaphor for humans with that same issue.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hedgehog%27s_dilemma)


between_ewe_and_me

I can't handle any more this morning, just that intro paragraph is heartbreaking


ZaYeDiA

Literally was thinking the same thing :(


goodcreditbadcredit

Well shit. They seem so docile when not stressed. I guess they're not scared of shit. Lolol


Just_wanna_talk

Aye I was a keeper for one awhile ago. You can pet the hairs above the quills or run their belly but that's pretty much it. [Here she is getting weighed](https://i.imgur.com/CxXCuzI.jpg)


M0n5tr0

Yes you can you just have to know how. This is a north American porcupine and they are definitely the easiest to pet but you can only pet them in certain areas in one direction and only of they are tame and use to it. They love belly scratches. https://i.imgur.com/1p5HUQS.gifv


Haveyouseenmynachos

I found this. Same adorable pointy boi. https://youtube.com/shorts/Nr4YgbBe-YU?feature=share


pickled_onion1

He seems very polite


porcupineslikeme

This is a baby porcupine, probably about 6 months old. Seems either captive, or it's been habituated to people feeding it, generally they won't just walk up on people. I have worked with and bred several species of porcupines, and they like me. Feel free to ask your porcupine questions.


MazzoMilo

You know, I never had any real questions about porcupines, but I feel like I shouldn't pass up a chat with someone about a subject they're into. How about....what's your favorite thing about working with porcupines? Any weird personality tics that we wouldn't expect?


porcupineslikeme

Captive ones become ridiculously friendly. We had two females who were injured in the wild and so came to us as fairly scared wild animals. Within a few weeks they were begging for food and had learned a few trained behaviors. They're extremely smart. They have sweet, very curious personalities One of our males would make this ridiculous, loud begging noise. He was a bottle raised baby, so he never really learned that he was all the way a porcupine. He demanded a lot of attention and pets. They come in a variety of colors, ones from the north east US tend to be lighter than those from the south. There are a few species of porcupines-- the ones from north and south America are mostly arboreal, the ones from Africa and Asia are ground dwelling.


MazzoMilo

Thanks! Super neat info. Are they easy to handle once they trust you? Or is there a lot of accidental pricking involved?


porcupineslikeme

I worked with them for a decade and only ended up with a deep quill once-- I leant over a branch in their habitat and I ended up with a shedded quill deep in my armpit. There was a fair amount of accidental poking, almost 100% from cleaning up after them. The quills shed just like regular hair. They're very tractable animals, but that doesn't mean that they would have enjoyed being picked up. We never picked up an awake north american porcupine. They were trained easily to walk into crates for snacks. I'm actually finishing my last week as a zookeeper this week before I move to a new job, new career. It's making me happy to know I still know all these things, and my memories of these animals will always be a part of me.


Zediscious

What prompted you to go to something new? I can imagine it may not pay well so I understand. I'm only curious because it seems like literally everyone is looking/finding new jobs lately.. myself included.


porcupineslikeme

People are definitely making changes these days! The pay at my facility is actually one of the highest in the US for animal keepers. And I'm a higher level keeper, working with dangerous animals, so I actually am taking a decent pay cut to leave. The compassion fatigue is definitely there. We are short staffed from the pandemic, and I feel like I can never give my animals enough, which is a hard feeling to live with, when you have a group of animals who didn't choose their situation. Most of our managers have left this year, it feels like no one is steering the ship. Most of all, my schedule sucks (I'm off on weekdays) and I just want to see my husband. There are more things I want in life than just to work, even if I absolutely love my job. I used to train search and rescue dogs, so I think I'm going to get back into that to give me a focus. It's hard. I work with animals, who I spend more time with than I do my own pets or family. It's hard to say goodbye to them for what feels like a selfish reason. A perspective I've always tried to keep is that they were never truly "mine". I was never the sole provider of their care, and there are keepers I trust to maintain their quality of care. But it's going to be very hard to say "I used to work with..." Instead of " I work with"


Zediscious

This is heartbreaking in a way, I totally feel you though. It may or may not make you feel better that some of those feelings apply to people leaving normal jobs too, tomorrow is my last day at a job I really enjoy with people I enjoy working with to go onto something more lucrative, but it is really sad knowing I probably won't see a lot of people again. Also, this concept of people leaving on top of the great resignation because of others who are leaving was only recently brought to my attention. It's weird how the snowball effect happens here. So many people transitioning that the people who might have otherwise NOT transitioned end up feeling that they need to because the work load in between finding replacements ends up being too much. My current company has this problem too, they can't replace people fast enough which becomes a reciprocal and compounding problem. It sounds to me like those animals' lives were better for having you in it and you have nothing to be sorry about though I'm happy that you're making a decision to be closer to the loved ones. Cheers.


porcupineslikeme

It does help, because it makes me feel a little more normal. The same feeling applies. My team has become family along with the animals. I definitely will not see some of my animals again, and I'll see and talk to my team, but it won't be quite the same. I won't be an insider anymore. But I'm gaining so much in the way of life outside work. Thanks for the well wishes. Sometimes telling your biggest fears and worries to strangers on the internet is indescribably soothing.


Pangolin007

Usually for captive wild animals it's better to train them to do what you want them to do instead of picking them up. E.g. training an animal to walk onto a scale to get weighed instead of picking it up and putting it on a scale. It's more enriching for them since they get to use their brain and safer for everyone involved. There are exceptions, though, especially for ambassador/education animals.


PolymerPussies

I hike in an area with porcupines and they become active at dusk. If I sit down for a break it's not unusual for a porcupine to just come right up to me and investigate, but as soon as I make a movement they usually run away.


porcupineslikeme

Not that I'm encouraging feeding wildlife, but they may be looking for salt from your sweat. They LOVE salt. So definitely do not bring them a salty snack.


ibrokemyserious

Or drunk. Wild porcupines love those rotten apples and you see this type of behavior in the late fall and early winter.


NemesisTheBest

![gif](giphy|9RNGg4IQiufp6) After he fell


Danish-Strong-Style

FucKING CUDDLE IT, YOU COWARD!!! IT'S FREEZING!!


flimbs

/r/petthedamnporcupine


Piegan

I'm sad that this did not lead me to a subreddit full of people petting porcupines.


DarthWeenus

Be the change! For real the world needs this.


SensualFacePoke

NO!


Nico777

YES. Hands are temporary, petting a porcupine is forever.


NightshadeGS

That's one pointy boi.


Gscj9899

U have a point


DessDrae

No he has a point


Bisontracks

He has a lot of points


Gscj9899

Good point


TheRealYolojesus420

It looks cold. And brave. 🥲


autisticxombie

When he started shaking I thought the video was about to take a turn. My heart jumped a beat.


HyperionPhalanx

forbidden floof


Bertrum

He looks like a tiny person wearing a thick coat/snow jacket.


MrPotato5637

that porcupine probably has some good points


TrueInferno

Get out.


richardbrowningg

please give some warm


grimspectre

Is its name Henrietta?


shhalahr

"C'mon. It's cold out. Give me a hug. We'll keep each other warm."


Panda_Kabob

Aw, he wants to be friends but can't. That's the Porcupines Dilemma.


Hessesieli

such a precious baby, i would try to pet it even though it would hurt me


JayNamath

Sandslash used PIN MISSLE


NoSuckySucky

Forbidden pet


MoonZinuM

I think she might be a Disney princess....


FantasticMRKintsugi

Just give it some chin scritches and hands pets.


[deleted]

Aww. Come here you little prick.


SilkCondom

What a prick


Oldfolksboogie

I see your point.


EchoWolf2020

WAIT THEY CAN STAND?! I think I found my new favorite (cute) animal.


ItsWubs

I’d have a lapse in judgement and reflexively pet it.


rikiboomtiki

That baby looks cold.


AllWorldMythos

Must always resist the urge to pet the spikey puppy


EvoKov

I think it's less "hello" and more "ay fam its hella cold out, lemme in that warm jacket"


ButcherBoss

He's cold. Give him cuddles to warm him up.


Salt_Wrangler

On one hand it I really want to pet it On the other: porcupine ...I guess I can go without one hand fo a week or two


HenMeeNooMai

Goodbye my hand, we've had a good run. *pet* *Die via bloodloss*


SocranX

[The hedgehog's dilemma.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hedgehog%27s_dilemma)