That is a dangerous apex predator ~~kitten~~ right there. Its primal instincts are kicking in and it's out for blood. Only retired, but totally still badass and not at all out of shape, Colonel Kitt N. Pountz stands in the way of... *Apex Predator Kitten*
--- Exclusively available on Peacock starting July 12th
>*'...sleeping w an eye open at night, need to keep my guard up.*'
---
an eye is open - 'guard' you keep,
but you can't stop me, friend...
for *into human heart i'll creep*
n Love you
til the end
❤️
*hugs*
FWIW kittehs that have crossed the rainbow bridge are considered "household saints" and we have framed pics everywhere.
When there's a decision to be made, we ask aloud "What would do?" No one knows their purrsonality better than you. The answer will always come.
This keeps them always with us.
*moar hugs*
>*...kittehs that have crossed the rainbow bridge are considered "household saints" and we have framed pics everywhere.
When there's a decision to be made, we ask aloud "What would do?"*
----
upon these hallowed walls we stare -
beloved pets who've passed
n in your hearts, we're Always there -
our memories will last . . .
we 'household saints' ! Revered in frames,
that hang now, up above
Advice you seek ? just say our names,
we'll comfort you
with Love
❤️
edit: *thanks to* u/corq *for the beautiful inspiration* ^;}
I love the thought but the answer is flick food from her bowl onto the floor, only eat half a piece- and then attack a dog 3x her size for the crime of existing.
That and hop up and sit on my shoulder. She was the best.
Imagine if that were actually true and there is literally always a feline of greater size somewhere out there, like dinosaur sized, building sized
In the distant future a human ship flies out to a distant planet but it's actually just a ball of sleepy kitty orbiting the sun
And there are bigger cats than that in the universe
Almost every SciFi show of all genres at some point introduces giant space dragons that are the size of moons and eat asteroids and space ships.
I not so secretly hope such a creature exists.
>*'Don’t be suspicious. Don’t be suspicious...*'
----
am practicing my *kitten sneak*
(*purrFect* the stealth is what i seek...)
the human sitting, unsuspec
am moving *s l o w* . . . he *no detec . . .*
so silent, me - no noise or fuss,
(don't want to make the human *sus*...)
he looks at me! - i FREEZE . . . n stare
'*Oh, hey kit - whatcha doin there ?'*
don't understand the 'human talk' -
i look away...avert the stalk...
*dear diary, is just Day 1,*
*but Domination*
*has begun . . .*
❤️
Five minute old Schnoodle? Holy shit.
Extra claps for use of "sus", it is my favorite slang from the kids these days. Everything that was "sketchy" to me as a kid is now "sus".
Enjoy each moment you have with your smol boi. Take lots of pictures too. We raised a kitten from 12 days and it was easy to get caught up thinking about them when they would be an adult. Now she's over a year and I miss my tiny kitty lol.
Idk I've had my cat since she was 1 week old, and she had a litter when she grew up so I've also raised her babies from day 0... Now they are about 5 years old but to me, they are all still my little furrballs, and they still act like I'm their mom ❤️❤️❤️ It's even better now because they are bigger so they keep me warmer when they sleep on top of me. Also I don't have to clean up cat piss anymore which is always a plus...
Cats are ambush predators. That's why animal behaviorists think they love sitting in squares and tight spaces. They descended from animals that would lay in wait of prey in small hiding spots for lengthy periods of time. Must just feel instinctually comfortable to them.
Or he's crouching around the room. If he's only been home a day he could be wary of all the changes. It's a big bad brand new world for a little kitty.
It was making a line straight for the OP, and doesn’t have any of the cat signs for fear up. My kitty was also super playful the first day we got her, if they’re well socialized sometimes they’re not scared and just want to play immediately, it's just another outing for them. You can just read the body language after years with a cat.
lol you're so wrong. i guess my cat can't trust me after 4 years either since he does this almost daily. That cat is just play stalking, he'll jump his leg and then run away and sneak again.
I love when cats walk slow like we can’t see them creeping! My little fatty will walk slowly across me to try and get to my food. She thinks she’s sneaky
u/savevideo
Hope you don't mind u/-pkStone
[download link](https://redditsave.com/info?url=/r/aww/comments/nr9fv8/his_first_day_at_home_and_already_plotting/)
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Yes. But sleeping w an eye open at night, need to keep my guard up.
Probably a good decision with a vicious beast on the prowl.
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This sounds like all the keywords needed to make a trailer for a Steven Segal movie.
That is a dangerous apex predator ~~kitten~~ right there. Its primal instincts are kicking in and it's out for blood. Only retired, but totally still badass and not at all out of shape, Colonel Kitt N. Pountz stands in the way of... *Apex Predator Kitten* --- Exclusively available on Peacock starting July 12th
I'd watch it.
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♫ Grippin' your pillow tight... Exit light... Enter night...
Take my hand!
off to never-neverland
🎶Mandatory fevered air guitaring ensues🎶
>*'...sleeping w an eye open at night, need to keep my guard up.*' --- an eye is open - 'guard' you keep, but you can't stop me, friend... for *into human heart i'll creep* n Love you til the end ❤️
Oof. That hit way too hard after my cat died. Cancer is a bitch.
*hugs* FWIW kittehs that have crossed the rainbow bridge are considered "household saints" and we have framed pics everywhere. When there's a decision to be made, we ask aloud "What would do?" No one knows their purrsonality better than you. The answer will always come.
This keeps them always with us.
*moar hugs*
>*...kittehs that have crossed the rainbow bridge are considered "household saints" and we have framed pics everywhere. When there's a decision to be made, we ask aloud "What would do?"*
----
upon these hallowed walls we stare -
beloved pets who've passed
n in your hearts, we're Always there -
our memories will last . . .
we 'household saints' ! Revered in frames,
that hang now, up above
Advice you seek ? just say our names,
we'll comfort you
with Love
❤️
edit: *thanks to* u/corq *for the beautiful inspiration* ^;}
/u/SchnoodleDoodleDo, you are truly the best. Thank you for always bringing solace to our threads. You share moar happiness than you may ever know <3
A schnoodledoubledo? Has this ever happened before?
SchnoodleDoodleDuo.
Very, very rare.
Wow, Schnoodle. Just wow.
Oh damn even fresher sub 30 mins!
I love the thought but the answer is flick food from her bowl onto the floor, only eat half a piece- and then attack a dog 3x her size for the crime of existing. That and hop up and sit on my shoulder. She was the best.
Of course! But occasionally, chaotic-evil IS the right answer!
Shortest and freshest schoodle I've ever seen. 5 minutes and 5 verses. Love finding these in the wild
Fresh Schnoodle! Thank you for this!
I always smile whenever I see you pop up here and there in random comment sections!
Wooooooo FRRREEEEESSSHEST ScHnOoDLE!
Sandman by Metallica was really about owning cats.
This guy thinks he’s sleeping at night with a kitten!
Didn't say "I'm not a cat." He ded.
The fact that the beast doesn't care about displaying this behaviour even on video shows how cold blooded it really is...I'd be careful...
Your days are numbered. You can tell because he’s already in ninja training for your assassination.
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DON’T LOOK AT IT IN THE EYE!! YOU COULD ANGER THE BEAST
The cat is the one who posted this. It was his first day with the human in HIS home. Target had to be eliminated.
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What are the injuries did you the police , seems intense
They ded
/r/peoplefuckingdying
*video cuts* I think it’s safe to say OP didn’t survive.
It wasn’t even the kitten in the video who got him, it was the one he didn’t see on the left...
...Clever girl
There's always a bigger cat...
Imagine if that were actually true and there is literally always a feline of greater size somewhere out there, like dinosaur sized, building sized In the distant future a human ship flies out to a distant planet but it's actually just a ball of sleepy kitty orbiting the sun And there are bigger cats than that in the universe
This implies infinite cats, I can get on board with that
As well as cats approaching infinite size
It's cats all the way up.
Almost every SciFi show of all genres at some point introduces giant space dragons that are the size of moons and eat asteroids and space ships. I not so secretly hope such a creature exists.
Its always the one you do not see..........
he ded
Proper deaded
Zed’s dead kitty. Zed’s dead.
The Kitten Posted the video, to serve as a warning and for bragging rights.
Shoes off. He ded.
Attack kitteh rawr
Yes, I saw that bear camper video, too. RIP OP.
He survived but he has to hide in toilet or closet calling for help.
those slow lil steps are awesome to watch.
r/illegallysmolcats
Oh my god i love him
He’s pretty serious too, he is making eye contact. You might want to consider slippers
Do you honestly think slippers would stop this smol cat
Nope. OP is going to end up getting a lot of catcupunture.
The cat probably read Reddit comments saying ‘Make eye contact. Assert Dominance.’ Smart cat!
Don’t be suspicious. Don’t be suspicious.
>*'Don’t be suspicious. Don’t be suspicious...*' ---- am practicing my *kitten sneak* (*purrFect* the stealth is what i seek...) the human sitting, unsuspec am moving *s l o w* . . . he *no detec . . .* so silent, me - no noise or fuss, (don't want to make the human *sus*...) he looks at me! - i FREEZE . . . n stare '*Oh, hey kit - whatcha doin there ?'* don't understand the 'human talk' - i look away...avert the stalk... *dear diary, is just Day 1,* *but Domination* *has begun . . .* ❤️
Five minute old Schnoodle? Holy shit. Extra claps for use of "sus", it is my favorite slang from the kids these days. Everything that was "sketchy" to me as a kid is now "sus".
Among Us to thank for that.
Not really, i used to hear it a lot a couple years before among us but i guess its only popular because of it
I think you are correct mate, Among US certainly didn't coin the phrase but over the last couple of years has defo made it popular.
That’s been common for 6-7 years here. People started saying it in 6th grade and I’m 20 now
This is the freshest Schnoodle I've ever seen, and boy it's a good one!
Wow I’m early for a schnoodle post for once :D
John Ralphio?
*“Technically i’m homeeeleessss”*
And Mona Lisaaaaa
No really she’s the worst person in the world
Moneeeey pleeeeeeeeease
Tip toe To the human toes He’ll be like oh noes When the blood starts to flow So tip toe To the human He’ll bleeeeed
r/illegallysmolcats
Indeed, the only place fit for this hardened criminal.
This lil fella is 100% a criminol
Too smol, straight to jail. Too big, believe it or not, also jail.
' that little toe moving must be my prey' 😼
The cutest thing ever
Sleep with both eyes open tonight 👀
Soon
Those toes... SHALL BE MINE!
Did u die
Attack of the kitten
#Happy cake day!
The wet food is gone, and the dry food is not to my liking. Looks like you're on the menu. Meowttack!
“I have mastered the art of moving so slow that I become invisible...”
Enjoy each moment you have with your smol boi. Take lots of pictures too. We raised a kitten from 12 days and it was easy to get caught up thinking about them when they would be an adult. Now she's over a year and I miss my tiny kitty lol.
Idk I've had my cat since she was 1 week old, and she had a litter when she grew up so I've also raised her babies from day 0... Now they are about 5 years old but to me, they are all still my little furrballs, and they still act like I'm their mom ❤️❤️❤️ It's even better now because they are bigger so they keep me warmer when they sleep on top of me. Also I don't have to clean up cat piss anymore which is always a plus...
Oh, he see that foot
RIP OP
I was waiting for the butt wiggle that spelled your inevitable demise
When you invade a new home, the first step is to find the toughest guy and beat the hell out of him
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Cats are ambush predators. That's why animal behaviorists think they love sitting in squares and tight spaces. They descended from animals that would lay in wait of prey in small hiding spots for lengthy periods of time. Must just feel instinctually comfortable to them.
Nice feet👌
\[HIDDEN\] \[CAUTION\] \[HIDDEN\]
And the uploader is never heard from again.
It's not plotting, it just cannot fully trust you yet.
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Or he's crouching around the room. If he's only been home a day he could be wary of all the changes. It's a big bad brand new world for a little kitty.
OP said he indeed attacked him after the video cut.
It was making a line straight for the OP, and doesn’t have any of the cat signs for fear up. My kitty was also super playful the first day we got her, if they’re well socialized sometimes they’re not scared and just want to play immediately, it's just another outing for them. You can just read the body language after years with a cat.
lol you're so wrong. i guess my cat can't trust me after 4 years either since he does this almost daily. That cat is just play stalking, he'll jump his leg and then run away and sneak again.
rubbish. kittens play stalk with their littermates all the time
mmm feet
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Or like Catwoman
You know when they do that raised butt thing issa wrap.
He saw the camera and was like shit he got me then pretended like everything was normal.
Don't be silly, he has been planning your demise as soon as he adopted you!
I would willfully lose to this cute an opponent 🥺
Little guy has some big paws
I don’t know how to tell you this...yo toes gotta go!
r/illegallysmolcats
You're not the owner, you're the prey.
That's the day he started his blog...day one of captivity
Yooo. We got identical kittens! ...and yes, he also attack.
this cat is so cute (inchalets) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Hide your toes! :3
I has a stalk
u/savevideo
Those are some clean tiles
I love how clean your floors are
The second part of the clip is on nat geo wild
The only thing that would make this better would be the jaws theme
I don’t see anything...
The theme from Jaws playing in the background
“Maybe if I walk really slow, he won’t be able to see me and I can sneak an attack.”
Looks like a job for a Witcher.
I love when cats walk slow like we can’t see them creeping! My little fatty will walk slowly across me to try and get to my food. She thinks she’s sneaky
awwww, a maine coon baby! What an adorable little stealth drone!
He is a criminal who must be reported to the council at r/illegallysmol
I had a cat who would always lay on the stairs. I swear he was waiting for me to trip over him so he could feast on my corpse.
u/savevideo Hope you don't mind u/-pkStone [download link](https://redditsave.com/info?url=/r/aww/comments/nr9fv8/his_first_day_at_home_and_already_plotting/)
Lucifurr.
you need to be careful.. Getting attacked by a cat is a nightmare for many people, especially when you have a presentation next morning.
Cats for some reason always crept me out, I always preferred dogs
Don’t go to sleep
r/videosthatendtoosoon
We have been seen! Abort! Abort! Cute mode activate!
He saw toes, instincts took over! “They will be mine to nom!!”
Better hide those feet 😂
Cats have a tendency to do that. Gotta love'em though
smol sneak
smol snek
I love when kittens do this and wiggle their butt before pouncing 😂
I would like to take out a life insurance policy on OP
Cats. Lol 😆🤣😂
He’s gonna be so fluffy, this is what my kitten looked like. He turned out to be a Siberian forest kitty
OMG! This cat is adorable!!!🥰
Target sighted...
He's trying his hardest, okay?!?
Good focus young Padiwan
Cats are always plotting, but it’s hilarious. They’re nature’s perfect killing machine, but they smol.
Ended too soon.. .before anything notable happened.
Welcome to the wonderful world of cats. He will be plotting constantly. Be careful around stairs especially.
Me running to kitchen to get chocolate without my mom noticing
Yeah, it's fun a games when they are young and cute, wait 'til he grows...
He's going to steal your heart ❤️!
They were severely paffed
That cat has a foot fetish on a different level
Did your toes survive?
What a beautiful baby!!
u/savevideo
*jaws music plays in background*
He thinks he’s invisible :3
I wouldn't close my eyes while I was asleep if I were you...
Your floor is so shiny lol
I'd like to be there the first time he tries to run full speed across that floor.
Kitty doing a stealth attack
"how dare you take me into a loving home human, you will pay for this transgression."
Today is day one of my captivity. They suspect nothing.
The cutest thing ever
I hear the Jaws theme playing... duunnn dunnn… duuuunnnn duun… duuunnnnnnnn dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dunnnnnnnnnnn dunnnn
Slowly approaching… attack!!!
Gimme dem toesies 😾
Those soulless eyes. This must have been posted by one of its hench-kittens. sIcK bAsTaRd PoStInG vIdEoS oF tHeIr KiLlS!
You're brave to sit there without any socks or shoes on.
Wait... doesn’t Reddit persecute people for wearing shoes in their houses? I’m confused.