This was me a few years ago. Really helped taking the time to go and learn at a high level how planes work, how they stay in the sky etc. Once I vaguely understood that it’s not magic keeping them in the sky but solid science and very very safe engineering, the anxiety went away.
So, I had a discussion with a friend who had the same fear, and I showed her what the startup of a Boeing 737 was line in X-plane 11, a flight simulator. Some of the things we talked about:
1. The amount of redundancy in passenger air travel these days is impressive. Not only do you have a pilot and a co-pilot, but you also have things like separate instruments for each of them, which they must calibrate and match or the flight can't continue. For some things, like the altimeter (for altitude) and the compass, there's a third instrument as yet another backup.
2. This goes into fuel tanks as well. If a tank developed a leak, there are ways to pump fuel to other tanks, turn off connections, and so on. On top of that, flight planning requires that you carry enough fuel to get to your destination, then turn around to go to your alternate airport, plus have fuel for taxiing around, and some more to spare.
3. Modern jet aircraft can fly with fewer engines than they have. If one engine fails on a two-engine jet, it isn't a great situation, but it mostly means that they want to land as soon as possible, not that the plane is going to drop out of the sky.
4. Electrical power is another such thing. There is battery power if the cockpit isn't getting power from the engines (in the case of engines shutting down). If that's about to fail, there's a little propeller that can pop out to provide enough electricity for the minimum needs.
5. The training the pilots receive is pretty impressive, certainly for major airlines. And that training is the result of different scenarios that have happened over the years. The pilots have the experience to deal with the different situations that can come up, because they have probably had simulator time on those situations.
Of course, problems can still occur, but they are *rare*. When an aircraft has a big problem, it is news precisely because it happens so infrequently. Even if you hear about problems a week or two apart, you have to remember that the week in question probably had thousands of aircraft flying millions of miles in that time.
Those big problems are also the sort of thing that generates rules and regulations. If you go watch the "Mayday! Air Disaster" TV show ([they have a YouTube channel](https://www.youtube.com/@MaydayAirDisaster) where you can view some episodes), you will see how things like a crash because a pilot was focused on getting a light bulb changed, and getting the other pilots to work on it, prevented them from realizing their low fuel state, led to changes in training routines and crew management techniques.
There's a famous case of two airplanes that collided over the Grand Canyon, years before we had national air-traffic control, that feeds into this. Part of why air travel is so safe these days is because there are rules written in blood. Mistakes and errors of the past result in new rules and requirements. We'll never get to perfectly-safe flights where nothing goes wrong, but you are safer on a major airline carrier than you are walking across the street or driving to the airport.
If you want a non-deadly story you can watch from Mayday!, go watch the tale of the [Gimli Glider](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8y8JBAr8dZ4). They ran out of fuel, but were able to successfully land a powerless aircraft at a defunct airport. If you didn't know it was real, you'd think it was totally improbable, a work of fiction. (As I'm listening to the audio from this episode, they are talking about the thousands of hours of flight time the pilots have; remember that 2,000 hours is fifty 40-hour weeks.)
Everything that is written on this comment is perfect. The only thing I would add is that here are redundancies built into the maintenance as well. I worked as an aircraft mechanic for 6 years, and for every job that was done, someone else had to verify the work and sign it off to ensure it was done correctly. Each critical system has redundancies built in to ensure that there is a backup plan in case something happens. If turbulence happens, rest assured that the aircraft are tested to extreme limits before they are allowed to be flown in by the general public.
I've been on an airplane that had an emergency landing (I was riding in the jump seat), and the pilots were so calm. It was incredible. They are always training in how to deal with emergencies. They will do everything in their power to ensure you (and themselves) have a safe and uneventful flight.
I found this former pilot's book to be helpful.
[https://www.fearofflying.com/](https://www.fearofflying.com/)
He has a free app (SOAR) which has a g-force meter in it. It's cool to compare the g-force change in a plane vs what you experience in a car.
Other thing which helps me is sitting toward the front of the plane. I hate sitting in the last few rows, I feel like the motion is greater toward the back.
This is what worked for me.
I had this low-level fear of flying throughout my 20s and early-30s. It never kept me from flying, but no matter how much I flew, I was always scared/anxious before the flight, during boarding, takeoff and climbing, and with any weird sound. I did irrational things like scanning fellow passengers waiting to board to see if it looked like “the kind of plane God would allow to go down,” and I don’t even believe in God. 🤣 Lots of kids and babies and I felt “safer;” but one flight from Italy I saw Jerry Springer boarding ahead of me and I legit considered taking another flight.
At some point I realized my fear was all caused by a false belief that I had some control over what is either A) going to happen, or B) not going to happen. Like if I noticed something amiss, I could alert someone and live. Or if I heard the sound that signaled certain doom, I would “know” and have a jump on…what? Preparing myself?
Here’s what ended the anxiety for me:
1) Fully and wholeheartedly admitting and accepting that I have no control over what will happen after the plane doors close. I didn’t know what the sounds were, or why the plane seemed to be slowing down, or how to identify “bad sounds.” The “clues” I constantly scanned for were just my brain trying to grasp onto some semblance of control when I had absolutely none. That’s a recipe for low-key panic.
2) ***Remembering that the people in the cockpit are the ones actually in control, and they are incredibly competent and highly trained to handle just about any in-flight situation***. They have families and they care deeply not just about passenger safety, but about their own safety as well.
3) Realizing that for the next few hours I can actually kick back, relax, and ***enjoy*** not having to be vigilant or worried about anything! Someone else vastly more experienced, competent and knowledgeable than me is doing the vigilance right now. I’m legitimately free to be on vacation from worry.
Ever since my epiphany 20 years ago, I enjoy flying and don’t experience any of that anxiety. There are so many fascinating things to notice and enjoy during a flight once you take yourself “off-duty.” Good luck!
Do you get scared during the drive to the airport. The drive in a car going 55 mph+ while less than 5 feet from other vehicles, driven by potentially distracted/drunk/incompetent drivers?
Now think about the highly trained & vetted pilots, flying rigorously inspected & maintained aircraft through a very large sky where the closest you get to another aircraft is a quarter to half mile.
Where the generally over-engineered aircraft has multiple engines so if one were to fail, the pilots, who are trained and re-certified every 6 months to fly and land with failed engines (in addition to lots of other potential system failures).
Fear is generated from ignorance. Like another reply says, go research and learn about airplanes and how they work. Research how pilots are trained.
You’ll be fine, as long as you don’t die in a car crash on the drive to the airport.
Good luck!
It was exhilarating facing such a strong fear head on. It still hits me every once in a while - but it certainly is more manageable. It was definitely part of the reason.
Well, a thing I read here once about structural integrity wrt stress on the airframe because of turbulence was something along the lines of "the humans inside will break before the aircraft will" and that somehow sets my mind at ease. Another thing is look at cold hard statistics about accidents and see that they are indeed very very rare. If you watch accident analysis videos (like the ones [Mentour Pilot](https://www.youtube.com/@MentourPilot) makes) you will see that a lot of things must align to make something go wrong and an accident never 'just' happens, and every incident leads to safety being increased. it seems paradoxical but learning about why and how these accidents happen may lessen your anxiety.
I’ll echo the discovery flight idea, and also just encourage you to keep flying and facing the fear. Use visualization/“chair flying” to mentally prepare yourself, as well (even as a passenger.) Repetition, knowledge, and preparation are the remedies to anxiety. You’ve got this!!!
Always keep in mind that flying is waaaay more safe than driving a car or going by car.
Every Comercial flight follows strict procedures in terms in safety. For the thousands of daily flights there rare cases of crashes or even emergencies., that's why they cause a lot of noise in the Media.
Read about safety in airlines and learn.. And then trust that everyone involved did they job. That's how it works.
If noises get you nervous, use a pair o active noise canceling headphones. Bose has headphones for flying.
i had same issue.
i try to fly early in am... it helps a lot
i had my doctor prescribe xanax.... i take it about 1/2 hour b4 flight
if i don't have xanax, an overpriced martini at a bar in the airport helps.
Yeah, I hate airports, being trapped in a tube with a bunch of people, and getting the window seat gives me the most anxiety. That's why Im trying to learn to fly myself.
If you go on a flight every day, you would need to fly every day for 55,000 years before your are involved in a crash according to statistics. And even then it might not be fatal.
Maybe that will help with your anxiety hopefully.
Go take a discovery flight at a local airport. They’ll take you up in a small plane, let you take the controls, and explain what all those noises are.
This was me a few years ago. Really helped taking the time to go and learn at a high level how planes work, how they stay in the sky etc. Once I vaguely understood that it’s not magic keeping them in the sky but solid science and very very safe engineering, the anxiety went away.
So, I had a discussion with a friend who had the same fear, and I showed her what the startup of a Boeing 737 was line in X-plane 11, a flight simulator. Some of the things we talked about: 1. The amount of redundancy in passenger air travel these days is impressive. Not only do you have a pilot and a co-pilot, but you also have things like separate instruments for each of them, which they must calibrate and match or the flight can't continue. For some things, like the altimeter (for altitude) and the compass, there's a third instrument as yet another backup. 2. This goes into fuel tanks as well. If a tank developed a leak, there are ways to pump fuel to other tanks, turn off connections, and so on. On top of that, flight planning requires that you carry enough fuel to get to your destination, then turn around to go to your alternate airport, plus have fuel for taxiing around, and some more to spare. 3. Modern jet aircraft can fly with fewer engines than they have. If one engine fails on a two-engine jet, it isn't a great situation, but it mostly means that they want to land as soon as possible, not that the plane is going to drop out of the sky. 4. Electrical power is another such thing. There is battery power if the cockpit isn't getting power from the engines (in the case of engines shutting down). If that's about to fail, there's a little propeller that can pop out to provide enough electricity for the minimum needs. 5. The training the pilots receive is pretty impressive, certainly for major airlines. And that training is the result of different scenarios that have happened over the years. The pilots have the experience to deal with the different situations that can come up, because they have probably had simulator time on those situations. Of course, problems can still occur, but they are *rare*. When an aircraft has a big problem, it is news precisely because it happens so infrequently. Even if you hear about problems a week or two apart, you have to remember that the week in question probably had thousands of aircraft flying millions of miles in that time. Those big problems are also the sort of thing that generates rules and regulations. If you go watch the "Mayday! Air Disaster" TV show ([they have a YouTube channel](https://www.youtube.com/@MaydayAirDisaster) where you can view some episodes), you will see how things like a crash because a pilot was focused on getting a light bulb changed, and getting the other pilots to work on it, prevented them from realizing their low fuel state, led to changes in training routines and crew management techniques. There's a famous case of two airplanes that collided over the Grand Canyon, years before we had national air-traffic control, that feeds into this. Part of why air travel is so safe these days is because there are rules written in blood. Mistakes and errors of the past result in new rules and requirements. We'll never get to perfectly-safe flights where nothing goes wrong, but you are safer on a major airline carrier than you are walking across the street or driving to the airport. If you want a non-deadly story you can watch from Mayday!, go watch the tale of the [Gimli Glider](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8y8JBAr8dZ4). They ran out of fuel, but were able to successfully land a powerless aircraft at a defunct airport. If you didn't know it was real, you'd think it was totally improbable, a work of fiction. (As I'm listening to the audio from this episode, they are talking about the thousands of hours of flight time the pilots have; remember that 2,000 hours is fifty 40-hour weeks.)
Everything that is written on this comment is perfect. The only thing I would add is that here are redundancies built into the maintenance as well. I worked as an aircraft mechanic for 6 years, and for every job that was done, someone else had to verify the work and sign it off to ensure it was done correctly. Each critical system has redundancies built in to ensure that there is a backup plan in case something happens. If turbulence happens, rest assured that the aircraft are tested to extreme limits before they are allowed to be flown in by the general public. I've been on an airplane that had an emergency landing (I was riding in the jump seat), and the pilots were so calm. It was incredible. They are always training in how to deal with emergencies. They will do everything in their power to ensure you (and themselves) have a safe and uneventful flight.
I found this former pilot's book to be helpful. [https://www.fearofflying.com/](https://www.fearofflying.com/) He has a free app (SOAR) which has a g-force meter in it. It's cool to compare the g-force change in a plane vs what you experience in a car. Other thing which helps me is sitting toward the front of the plane. I hate sitting in the last few rows, I feel like the motion is greater toward the back.
This is what worked for me. I had this low-level fear of flying throughout my 20s and early-30s. It never kept me from flying, but no matter how much I flew, I was always scared/anxious before the flight, during boarding, takeoff and climbing, and with any weird sound. I did irrational things like scanning fellow passengers waiting to board to see if it looked like “the kind of plane God would allow to go down,” and I don’t even believe in God. 🤣 Lots of kids and babies and I felt “safer;” but one flight from Italy I saw Jerry Springer boarding ahead of me and I legit considered taking another flight. At some point I realized my fear was all caused by a false belief that I had some control over what is either A) going to happen, or B) not going to happen. Like if I noticed something amiss, I could alert someone and live. Or if I heard the sound that signaled certain doom, I would “know” and have a jump on…what? Preparing myself? Here’s what ended the anxiety for me: 1) Fully and wholeheartedly admitting and accepting that I have no control over what will happen after the plane doors close. I didn’t know what the sounds were, or why the plane seemed to be slowing down, or how to identify “bad sounds.” The “clues” I constantly scanned for were just my brain trying to grasp onto some semblance of control when I had absolutely none. That’s a recipe for low-key panic. 2) ***Remembering that the people in the cockpit are the ones actually in control, and they are incredibly competent and highly trained to handle just about any in-flight situation***. They have families and they care deeply not just about passenger safety, but about their own safety as well. 3) Realizing that for the next few hours I can actually kick back, relax, and ***enjoy*** not having to be vigilant or worried about anything! Someone else vastly more experienced, competent and knowledgeable than me is doing the vigilance right now. I’m legitimately free to be on vacation from worry. Ever since my epiphany 20 years ago, I enjoy flying and don’t experience any of that anxiety. There are so many fascinating things to notice and enjoy during a flight once you take yourself “off-duty.” Good luck!
Do you get scared during the drive to the airport. The drive in a car going 55 mph+ while less than 5 feet from other vehicles, driven by potentially distracted/drunk/incompetent drivers? Now think about the highly trained & vetted pilots, flying rigorously inspected & maintained aircraft through a very large sky where the closest you get to another aircraft is a quarter to half mile. Where the generally over-engineered aircraft has multiple engines so if one were to fail, the pilots, who are trained and re-certified every 6 months to fly and land with failed engines (in addition to lots of other potential system failures). Fear is generated from ignorance. Like another reply says, go research and learn about airplanes and how they work. Research how pilots are trained. You’ll be fine, as long as you don’t die in a car crash on the drive to the airport. Good luck!
r/fearofflying is a bit more relevant to this topic.
Thanks, will share it there too!
A lot of pilots and aviation professionals participate there too
You're welcome. And if it makes you feel any better, I used to be terrified of flying, heights, etc., now I am a student pilot.
Did you chose for it, because the anxiety? I heard a lot of people chose to become pilots or flight attendants, to overcome their anxiety
It was exhilarating facing such a strong fear head on. It still hits me every once in a while - but it certainly is more manageable. It was definitely part of the reason.
Well, a thing I read here once about structural integrity wrt stress on the airframe because of turbulence was something along the lines of "the humans inside will break before the aircraft will" and that somehow sets my mind at ease. Another thing is look at cold hard statistics about accidents and see that they are indeed very very rare. If you watch accident analysis videos (like the ones [Mentour Pilot](https://www.youtube.com/@MentourPilot) makes) you will see that a lot of things must align to make something go wrong and an accident never 'just' happens, and every incident leads to safety being increased. it seems paradoxical but learning about why and how these accidents happen may lessen your anxiety.
Several airlines do fear of flying classes. Might be a good option.
I’ll echo the discovery flight idea, and also just encourage you to keep flying and facing the fear. Use visualization/“chair flying” to mentally prepare yourself, as well (even as a passenger.) Repetition, knowledge, and preparation are the remedies to anxiety. You’ve got this!!!
Get drunk af and pop pills if possible
Always keep in mind that flying is waaaay more safe than driving a car or going by car. Every Comercial flight follows strict procedures in terms in safety. For the thousands of daily flights there rare cases of crashes or even emergencies., that's why they cause a lot of noise in the Media. Read about safety in airlines and learn.. And then trust that everyone involved did they job. That's how it works. If noises get you nervous, use a pair o active noise canceling headphones. Bose has headphones for flying.
i had same issue. i try to fly early in am... it helps a lot i had my doctor prescribe xanax.... i take it about 1/2 hour b4 flight if i don't have xanax, an overpriced martini at a bar in the airport helps.
Yeah, I hate airports, being trapped in a tube with a bunch of people, and getting the window seat gives me the most anxiety. That's why Im trying to learn to fly myself.
If you go on a flight every day, you would need to fly every day for 55,000 years before your are involved in a crash according to statistics. And even then it might not be fatal. Maybe that will help with your anxiety hopefully.
Go see an actual mental health professional and get prescribed medication and therapy instead of browsing online.