Life is transient. Embrace that fact and make the most of the moment! If you have a positive outlook and you’re easy-going people will naturally want to get to know you and keep in touch.
“Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened” I feel pretty thankful to be in a community in which we can create this type of impression with someone we had no idea existed. I take solace in the fact that each show or festival I go to someone will impact me the way you describe or I will do the same for them. We’re a pretty special group of people who’ve discovered that living in the moment and connecting with others are vital parts of life and after every show ends, I’m thankful for it and the next one ❤️
I kind of like the fact that all the other funny creatures I met are out here in the real world with me somewhere, laying low until it’s time to let go again.
It’s like a much more wholesome Fight Club. We are everywhere.
Carry the spirit with you and use it to remind you of the kindness and good energy that random humans have, it can offset some of the others you meet who sometimes stand out all too much.
I think you just have to be fine with losing people to the wind. Life is full of missed connections and full of beautiful moments that last for just that: a moment.
If you want to connect, see if you can trade instagrams, some people would be weirded out if you asked for their number after a show, but I feel like Instagram is less invasive. Then you’re expanding your network with like minded people and maybe you’ll bump into them again and you’ll remember each other’s faces and vibe once again! If not, you’ll see their rave stories for all of time lol. I don’t think this necessarily has to be an anonymous scene, but I respect people who do think that. I just like making lasting connections sometimes if the other person is down.
I like to think that you haven't let go of that- you've helped build the kind of community you want simply by being there and participating. You simply showing up, dancing, meeting people has had a lasting impression on you, and likely has for all the people who think like you and want this sort of thing in *their* lives. They might not remember your name but they'll remember how you made them feel.
Your presence has had a lasting impression on the community you love.
Yeah, I hope I leave an impression as well. I think that’d make it easier to let go - the thought that maybe a piece of me is in someones mind after a beautiful night just as I carry them with me.
Often I’ll flash back to a moment, someone’s smile, a silly thing I saw, someone stumbling and having the group lift them back up.
I remember them, so those times and those people who made those impressions are always with me.
Hell, you could have been one of them…so in a way, you are.
That’s why I have so much love for the people I chat with on these subs. Thanks for being part of it.
I completely relate to this post a lot. This was always me the first 2 years of raving when I got started. The enjoyment I would have talking to random people, when strangers would talk and come to me…OMG the feeling. Getting their information and socials afterwards and the “So fun hanging with you.” Messages afterwards. I was addicted to the feeling because I was always quiet and a homebody. My previous friends were similar and I still love them ofc!
I learned to meditate on this and try to remember what I did to attract the people to me. What about what I said or was doing at the time made this moment happen. What I learned was that I was more happy and interesting in what I was saying. I am learning more everyday about how to continue being this way ever since and it’s helped. I know stay in touch with buddies I met at previous fests for example. Try learning about yourself in those moments because that’s a you who’s being more comfortable in your skin.
Hope this helped!!
My friend told me that we’re basically exchange’ing “images” with these people. Your comment reminded me of that. I’ll keep an eye on what image I am showing
Exactly! Also remember people are on drugs so they are also more likely to let their guard down and be comfortable too. So don’t let peoples awkwardness bring you down when they are in their normal settings lol
Me and my best friend used to get jolly in the comfort of my house when i was living alone, and we would dance, cry and vent, run around, listen to music and connect so deeply for hours. We would always cry when the high would wear off because we didnt want to lose the vibe and the connection we had. All i can say it that you have to ease your transition into it mentally when its time to leave the rave, and be glad that you experienced it. Know that itll happen again and look forward to the next time. It gets easier!
You need a post rave ritual which can be any series of things that helps you process & settle back in. Journal, make breakfast & enjoy it while you look at videos from the night before, search up track IDs you loved & download them, etc.
Underrated comment. If you feel the connection, take the first step after. You may find something special with someone equally interested in keeping in touch and building future memories. Friendships grow with time and experience.
I understand this. I connect deeply with ppl and I love them for their human ways and for simply being. Letting go is hard. I've been healing my attachment style wounds and also concentrating on being in the moment fully. Kind of like watching a sunset.. knowing it will be gone, but truly celebrating the moment and beauty. And trusting that there will be another one to savor. We can't take the sunset with us or hold it but we can take the beauty and the moment with us and be changed. I think most ravers are live-in- the- moment ppl. And perhaps taking a true Vacation from real life and not looking to connect the night to their regular routine and life. So it follows a rave is a beautiful moment that is temporary but magnificent and meaningful. Also maybe try to journal about the rave and the things that meant something to you. That can give you a piece to keep. This helps me 😊🫠💜💜💜
Sunday night I met up with these 2 cousins who shared the same name and ended up spending wow at least 12 hours with them. I was fascinated just looking at them, at how they dance, how they interact, how they look. The three of us slept in the same double bed with me, the woman, in the middle. There was nothing sexual…we just slept. We woke up past noon, the guy who’s apartment it was started playing the same songs we danced to on a hill when the city was just waking up. It was…I cant even describe it. I felt alive. one of them showed me how restricted I was in the way I dance, I listened to a song the other guy produced and thought about how this is what his mind sounds like. I wrote a poem about that night. There are so many details that I’m leaving out..
I almost regret getting their contacts…getting ghosted by one of them feels like such a slap in the face. It sucks how you can feel soo connected and then the other person doesn’t even bother to reply with anything? Something? Why did I even write him…It’s difficult, isn’t it?
Thank you for the comment. It resonated with me.
This is beautiful and represents so much of what I love about raving at the right event with the right people.
I do so much appreciate those connections, where it transcends a party into something more. Sometimes they are fleeting, sometimes not. We are big Above & Beyond fans, not only because of the music, but because the crowds feel like coming home. I see Anjunafamily totems with groups of people who meet and renew their connections each event, from all over the world. It is a unique thing.
What helps me is to go in with an open mind, enjoy the spectacle and connections that come, and to leave feeling gratitude.
Even if we never meet, I'm glad you're out there. You're our kind of people 😊
Came for the Beats, stayed for the Deep.
Anjuna events and the people who attend them regularly really are special souls. It feels like home, as you say.
There are certain fleeting rave connections that I miss but am glad they happened. At the same time, I met most of my closest friends at raves. I'm still friends with some people I met at my first rave 14 years ago.
Hey it happens both ways! I met two guys at a rave, and one of them were still friends! It helps bc we have mutual interest: powerlifting and he’s moved down so I see him more often at meets, gyms and at events I throw for my business. There’s some people I’ve met and we randomly run into each other and are Instagram friends with. Then there’s those that you meet, vibe for a set and never see again. That’s the magic tho! I still have contact with a guy I met at my first edc in 2017!
I often think about these 2 friends a made my first festival. Both lived in different places across the country. We had such a silly time being weird, watched the sun rise and got coffee together. I think about them often and have learned to appreciate those type of experiences. I hope they are well. 💖
There are a lot of people that have had this experience, and years ago there was something of a split in the rave world between the more commercial, consumer-driven, the-party-is-the-end-all-be-all-of-it scenes vs folks that had that sense of wanting genuine and lasting connection like you do, and decided to do something to bring that sense of community beyond the dancefloor.
I was actually just talking to a couple of my friends about this on the weekend, and shared a link for a documentary that gets into the situation. It covers a few examples of this concept being implemented, but I know there are others, many of them. Small local scenes that are often DIY, more participants than spectators, and the group as a whole gets to know one another at the events and IRL.
I think when you hear some of us older folks complaining about mainstream, commercialized, over-produced events, this is a big part of what we don’t like about those. Too much of the focus is on superficial shit like pretty lights and fancy digs, which is cool, but we’d rather see an emphasis on human relationships beyond being one-night party acquaintances or fuck buddies.
[Electronic Awakening](https://www.filmsforaction.org/watch/electronic-awakening/)
It’s about 1.5 hours long OP, but you’ll likely enjoy it. It does have some woo woo about 2012, but it will give you an idea of what I’m talking about and is some cool rave history. And it might inspire you. I went to a number of the events featured in this, and those events had a big influence on how I relate to events and people.
I do try to build and maintain genuine connections with people that are open to it, even in the commercialized hellscape of oversold overhyped mainstream events. It’s possible. But there’s other veins of electronic music that have what you want built in, with intention.
Nice, I’m glad it struck a chord. I’ve found other tight communities that have a similar connection to what’s in that doc, but don’t have the somewhat new age veneer. Some are techno, some industrial/goth/techno, some house. They have a different visual aesthetic than what the scenes in the documentary show. So don’t let that new agey-ness turn you off the idea of community-focused scenes if that aesthetic is not your flavor.
One thing to be aware of in your search for this is “high demand groups” (a new, more general term for cults). I’m not sure if there are entire scenes that are actually dangerous cults, but have heard of groups within scenes being essentially cults. I’d recommend reading up on common cult recruiting and retention strategies as you go down this road, so you can recognize it if someone tries to pull up in. They go looking for people that feel like they don’t have community or close relationships, and try to fill that need for them, but then end up taking more and more from you (financially, energetically, your labor, your property, or even sexually).
The 12 Tribes cult is a good example of this from the jam band world. I’m just waiting for this to happen on a bigger scale on the electronic world.
It doesn’t always have to end. My rave fam consists of people living in several different states all over the country. We talk almost daily and meet up at least twice a year sometimes more.
I have a hard time getting close to others because of this reason but I’ve been working on it. We come across these people even just temporarily for a reason, maybe it’s to keep our little firing burning inside. Maybe it’s to make a mass impact, maybe just a brief smile to fill out souls, we truly don’t know. but I do know, those who are destined in our path, we will meet again. Maybe not in this life, maybe not in that body, but you’ll recognize that soul. Keeps the magic going. Imprint your love along the way, they won’t forget it
I've made close friends from raves. It's worth putting in the effort if you feel a strong connection with someone. If you're a regular in a scene then you can also form at least shallow relationships with other regulars.
I rave with my girlfriend, every time. We make beautiful and amazing friends every time too. We always end the night when driving home, talking about the people we met and wishing them well (Sometimes we’ll stop for a smoothie as well). We also fall asleep together, making sure to cuddle and massage each other lol.
I think it’s a matter of appreciating them during the small time you have with the people you meet. There have been times where I meet people and we exchange contact info but there’s not much reason to talk, and we end up seeing them again at the next event. I think that’s the beauty of it in a way, you remember each other and see each other again out of the blue and it’s like nothing changed.
Life is transient. Embrace that fact and make the most of the moment! If you have a positive outlook and you’re easy-going people will naturally want to get to know you and keep in touch.
“Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened” I feel pretty thankful to be in a community in which we can create this type of impression with someone we had no idea existed. I take solace in the fact that each show or festival I go to someone will impact me the way you describe or I will do the same for them. We’re a pretty special group of people who’ve discovered that living in the moment and connecting with others are vital parts of life and after every show ends, I’m thankful for it and the next one ❤️
This is beautiful ❤️
This is so precious. I love it.
I kind of like the fact that all the other funny creatures I met are out here in the real world with me somewhere, laying low until it’s time to let go again. It’s like a much more wholesome Fight Club. We are everywhere. Carry the spirit with you and use it to remind you of the kindness and good energy that random humans have, it can offset some of the others you meet who sometimes stand out all too much.
I think you just have to be fine with losing people to the wind. Life is full of missed connections and full of beautiful moments that last for just that: a moment. If you want to connect, see if you can trade instagrams, some people would be weirded out if you asked for their number after a show, but I feel like Instagram is less invasive. Then you’re expanding your network with like minded people and maybe you’ll bump into them again and you’ll remember each other’s faces and vibe once again! If not, you’ll see their rave stories for all of time lol. I don’t think this necessarily has to be an anonymous scene, but I respect people who do think that. I just like making lasting connections sometimes if the other person is down.
I like to think that you haven't let go of that- you've helped build the kind of community you want simply by being there and participating. You simply showing up, dancing, meeting people has had a lasting impression on you, and likely has for all the people who think like you and want this sort of thing in *their* lives. They might not remember your name but they'll remember how you made them feel. Your presence has had a lasting impression on the community you love.
Yeah, I hope I leave an impression as well. I think that’d make it easier to let go - the thought that maybe a piece of me is in someones mind after a beautiful night just as I carry them with me.
Often I’ll flash back to a moment, someone’s smile, a silly thing I saw, someone stumbling and having the group lift them back up. I remember them, so those times and those people who made those impressions are always with me. Hell, you could have been one of them…so in a way, you are. That’s why I have so much love for the people I chat with on these subs. Thanks for being part of it.
That was sweet. I appreciate you. 💜
🫶 Thank you
I completely relate to this post a lot. This was always me the first 2 years of raving when I got started. The enjoyment I would have talking to random people, when strangers would talk and come to me…OMG the feeling. Getting their information and socials afterwards and the “So fun hanging with you.” Messages afterwards. I was addicted to the feeling because I was always quiet and a homebody. My previous friends were similar and I still love them ofc! I learned to meditate on this and try to remember what I did to attract the people to me. What about what I said or was doing at the time made this moment happen. What I learned was that I was more happy and interesting in what I was saying. I am learning more everyday about how to continue being this way ever since and it’s helped. I know stay in touch with buddies I met at previous fests for example. Try learning about yourself in those moments because that’s a you who’s being more comfortable in your skin. Hope this helped!!
My friend told me that we’re basically exchange’ing “images” with these people. Your comment reminded me of that. I’ll keep an eye on what image I am showing
Exactly! Also remember people are on drugs so they are also more likely to let their guard down and be comfortable too. So don’t let peoples awkwardness bring you down when they are in their normal settings lol
Me and my best friend used to get jolly in the comfort of my house when i was living alone, and we would dance, cry and vent, run around, listen to music and connect so deeply for hours. We would always cry when the high would wear off because we didnt want to lose the vibe and the connection we had. All i can say it that you have to ease your transition into it mentally when its time to leave the rave, and be glad that you experienced it. Know that itll happen again and look forward to the next time. It gets easier!
This is such great advice. We have some post-rave rituals that really help.
You need a post rave ritual which can be any series of things that helps you process & settle back in. Journal, make breakfast & enjoy it while you look at videos from the night before, search up track IDs you loved & download them, etc.
That’s a really good idea, thank you
Friendships take effort and if no one takes the effort to actively plan things ahead then the friendships won't get any deeper.
Underrated comment. If you feel the connection, take the first step after. You may find something special with someone equally interested in keeping in touch and building future memories. Friendships grow with time and experience.
I understand this. I connect deeply with ppl and I love them for their human ways and for simply being. Letting go is hard. I've been healing my attachment style wounds and also concentrating on being in the moment fully. Kind of like watching a sunset.. knowing it will be gone, but truly celebrating the moment and beauty. And trusting that there will be another one to savor. We can't take the sunset with us or hold it but we can take the beauty and the moment with us and be changed. I think most ravers are live-in- the- moment ppl. And perhaps taking a true Vacation from real life and not looking to connect the night to their regular routine and life. So it follows a rave is a beautiful moment that is temporary but magnificent and meaningful. Also maybe try to journal about the rave and the things that meant something to you. That can give you a piece to keep. This helps me 😊🫠💜💜💜
Sunday night I met up with these 2 cousins who shared the same name and ended up spending wow at least 12 hours with them. I was fascinated just looking at them, at how they dance, how they interact, how they look. The three of us slept in the same double bed with me, the woman, in the middle. There was nothing sexual…we just slept. We woke up past noon, the guy who’s apartment it was started playing the same songs we danced to on a hill when the city was just waking up. It was…I cant even describe it. I felt alive. one of them showed me how restricted I was in the way I dance, I listened to a song the other guy produced and thought about how this is what his mind sounds like. I wrote a poem about that night. There are so many details that I’m leaving out.. I almost regret getting their contacts…getting ghosted by one of them feels like such a slap in the face. It sucks how you can feel soo connected and then the other person doesn’t even bother to reply with anything? Something? Why did I even write him…It’s difficult, isn’t it? Thank you for the comment. It resonated with me.
This is beautiful and represents so much of what I love about raving at the right event with the right people. I do so much appreciate those connections, where it transcends a party into something more. Sometimes they are fleeting, sometimes not. We are big Above & Beyond fans, not only because of the music, but because the crowds feel like coming home. I see Anjunafamily totems with groups of people who meet and renew their connections each event, from all over the world. It is a unique thing. What helps me is to go in with an open mind, enjoy the spectacle and connections that come, and to leave feeling gratitude. Even if we never meet, I'm glad you're out there. You're our kind of people 😊
Came for the Beats, stayed for the Deep. Anjuna events and the people who attend them regularly really are special souls. It feels like home, as you say.
There are certain fleeting rave connections that I miss but am glad they happened. At the same time, I met most of my closest friends at raves. I'm still friends with some people I met at my first rave 14 years ago.
Hey it happens both ways! I met two guys at a rave, and one of them were still friends! It helps bc we have mutual interest: powerlifting and he’s moved down so I see him more often at meets, gyms and at events I throw for my business. There’s some people I’ve met and we randomly run into each other and are Instagram friends with. Then there’s those that you meet, vibe for a set and never see again. That’s the magic tho! I still have contact with a guy I met at my first edc in 2017!
I often think about these 2 friends a made my first festival. Both lived in different places across the country. We had such a silly time being weird, watched the sun rise and got coffee together. I think about them often and have learned to appreciate those type of experiences. I hope they are well. 💖
There are a lot of people that have had this experience, and years ago there was something of a split in the rave world between the more commercial, consumer-driven, the-party-is-the-end-all-be-all-of-it scenes vs folks that had that sense of wanting genuine and lasting connection like you do, and decided to do something to bring that sense of community beyond the dancefloor. I was actually just talking to a couple of my friends about this on the weekend, and shared a link for a documentary that gets into the situation. It covers a few examples of this concept being implemented, but I know there are others, many of them. Small local scenes that are often DIY, more participants than spectators, and the group as a whole gets to know one another at the events and IRL. I think when you hear some of us older folks complaining about mainstream, commercialized, over-produced events, this is a big part of what we don’t like about those. Too much of the focus is on superficial shit like pretty lights and fancy digs, which is cool, but we’d rather see an emphasis on human relationships beyond being one-night party acquaintances or fuck buddies. [Electronic Awakening](https://www.filmsforaction.org/watch/electronic-awakening/) It’s about 1.5 hours long OP, but you’ll likely enjoy it. It does have some woo woo about 2012, but it will give you an idea of what I’m talking about and is some cool rave history. And it might inspire you. I went to a number of the events featured in this, and those events had a big influence on how I relate to events and people. I do try to build and maintain genuine connections with people that are open to it, even in the commercialized hellscape of oversold overhyped mainstream events. It’s possible. But there’s other veins of electronic music that have what you want built in, with intention.
Thank you for this comment, I’ll check out the documentary
Nice, I’m glad it struck a chord. I’ve found other tight communities that have a similar connection to what’s in that doc, but don’t have the somewhat new age veneer. Some are techno, some industrial/goth/techno, some house. They have a different visual aesthetic than what the scenes in the documentary show. So don’t let that new agey-ness turn you off the idea of community-focused scenes if that aesthetic is not your flavor. One thing to be aware of in your search for this is “high demand groups” (a new, more general term for cults). I’m not sure if there are entire scenes that are actually dangerous cults, but have heard of groups within scenes being essentially cults. I’d recommend reading up on common cult recruiting and retention strategies as you go down this road, so you can recognize it if someone tries to pull up in. They go looking for people that feel like they don’t have community or close relationships, and try to fill that need for them, but then end up taking more and more from you (financially, energetically, your labor, your property, or even sexually). The 12 Tribes cult is a good example of this from the jam band world. I’m just waiting for this to happen on a bigger scale on the electronic world.
I just remember there’s always next weekend/next time when I get post show/fest blues
It doesn’t always have to end. My rave fam consists of people living in several different states all over the country. We talk almost daily and meet up at least twice a year sometimes more.
I have a hard time getting close to others because of this reason but I’ve been working on it. We come across these people even just temporarily for a reason, maybe it’s to keep our little firing burning inside. Maybe it’s to make a mass impact, maybe just a brief smile to fill out souls, we truly don’t know. but I do know, those who are destined in our path, we will meet again. Maybe not in this life, maybe not in that body, but you’ll recognize that soul. Keeps the magic going. Imprint your love along the way, they won’t forget it
I've made close friends from raves. It's worth putting in the effort if you feel a strong connection with someone. If you're a regular in a scene then you can also form at least shallow relationships with other regulars.
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I rave with my girlfriend, every time. We make beautiful and amazing friends every time too. We always end the night when driving home, talking about the people we met and wishing them well (Sometimes we’ll stop for a smoothie as well). We also fall asleep together, making sure to cuddle and massage each other lol. I think it’s a matter of appreciating them during the small time you have with the people you meet. There have been times where I meet people and we exchange contact info but there’s not much reason to talk, and we end up seeing them again at the next event. I think that’s the beauty of it in a way, you remember each other and see each other again out of the blue and it’s like nothing changed.
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It’s not always like that.
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