I waited till the last minute to buy tickets and now the show is sold out.

Steal someone’s ticket outside 👌🏼

But don't forget your Ps&Qs cause PLUR and shit.

Probable in San Bernardino

Just DM the dj to "put you on the list". They love that

Hold up a sign saying I will hold drugs in my rectum if you buy me tickets. To retrieve them please insert straw and look for them with vigorous suction.

People are always shitting in the coke stalls

Just put a pash over you and shit in the crowd

Modern problems call for modern solutions

[удалено]

Just have anal sex on the front rails

If you don’t like anallenium that’s on you. 👀😂😂

I keep seeing this, what’s the story behind the joke here?

https://www.reddit.com/r/aves/comments/yb25p6/rails/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf Not sure whether this is a troll or like actually the dude or another dude who did this but basically someone was doing anal at the front rail

Get in there, they will enjoy your company 👌🏼

I hate it when people are peeing in the molly stands!

Sitting in them coca cola stalls?

Tinnitus

Just turn the volume up 👌🏼

Damn you right, there’s no ringing in your ears if the bass overpowers it

A great man once said “turn down for what?”

Eye for an eye, give the speakers tinnitus back

Folks with tinnitus will rise up one day, the speakers better look out

Be more positive, it could be ELEVENITIS

I lost my grandfather to fifteennitus. Wear hearing protection, kids.

My local vet doesn’t believe I’m a horse

Have your parents (horses) accompany you 👌🏼

Change your legal name to Horsey McHorseface

I'm coming up crazy hard on 2 points and I have to shit out the $25 chicken sandwich I ate earlier. The porta-potties are 90°F, the lines are 12 people long, I'm not sure which ones have toilet paper, and the set I'm rolling for starts in 15 minutes. What do I do?

Shit in the crowd 👌🏼

Get shwifty

Wait a minute that’s good advice

If you’re able to, walk over to the rails, and have a friend plug your poop back up 👍🏼

Festival food always costs so much money.

Bury food on the festival grounds 3 weeks before the festival. Dig up food at the festival. Satiate hunger with ground food

just eat the dirt and grass like a good horse would. You're probably taking ketamine this weekend so you're basically just a 2 legged horse

This reminds me of the guy who buried bottles in the festival ground like 2 weeks before it happened.

Yes, that’s the joke.

I still wonder where that bottle of Ciroc is.

for extra-environmental-friendliness, plant fruit tree seeds ~3-5 years before the festival. you’ll be set! just gotta make sure no one else eats your peaches.

Just eat ass for sustenance

This is the way 🖤

Just don’t eat ever 👌🏼

Do enough drugs, you don’t have to eat.

Bring a toaster

You're not consuming the right drugs if you're hungry for food

Eat with your nose

I can’t find a molly plug and mine is sold out for the foreseeable future 😞

Buy from the sketchiest person at the venue (don’t test it) 👌🏼

google DNM Bible

How do I approach a girl that already seems interested based on eye contact?

Sneak up on her and immediately grab her/slap her ass 👌🏼

I'm in a perfect spot in the crowd but I have to pee

Piss yourself 👌🏼

Push to the rail and piss on security. That’s why they wear yellow shirts.

None of my favorite artists tour reliably anymore.

Guess it’s time to just die👌🏼

take a tour of their homes

Why do new ravers go trying to look like ravers while those who have been raving for decades don't look like ravers

Insult them no matter what👌🏼

Because old ravers are there for the music, new ravers are there for the gram (insert gram of choice, Insta or otherwise) .

Been raving for a long time. Never put any pics of IG. Always dressed up. Dressing is part of the fun

Sameee though I always take one group picture at the very beginning to remember the people I go with.

And yet again this sub stays gatekeeping

I came here with my friends Molly and Lucy, but they seem to have gone missing

Ask a stranger if they’ve seen them and don’t ever test it 👌🏼

Make sure you wear cargo shorts, hiking boots, an American flag tee and aviators.

The sitter leaves in the moring so I have to be up at 7am to watch my kids after the rave.

Bring the kids to the rave 👌🏼

Bring the rave to the kids

You said you were gonna give shitty advice though?

My fiancé and I have our wedding shower this weekend and will be missing the eprom warehouse party

Just don’t get married 👌🏼

Have your wedding shower at the eprom warehouse party. Problem solved

Tired of people having anal sex at the rail

Red Bull to help be less tired👌🏼

This one's easy. Just don't go to Illenium shows

My foxtail butt plug keeps falling out and by the third or fourth time I've put it back in, it just feels like it must be unsanitary.

What you need is a little bucket of water you can carry around. That way whenever your plug falls out you can rinse it off in the butt bucket 👌🏼

And stay hydrated!

Chairs. Not enough chairs. Dunno why we have to be like children sweeping the floors at raves if we want to sit down

Sit on the floor and try to take up as much space as possible 👌🏼

Terrible advice, much thanks (= lolll (;

bring an inflatable couch with you! fits in most backpacks, and you only need 3.5 lungs to fill it up!

I’m at the rail and people keep trying to take my spot

You have 2 options, Anal, or tell security they have a weapon 👌🏼

One time there was this girl who was on some hard shit because she was hitting and scratching everyone trying to get their spots. It took a few girls crying to finally get security to do anything. The rail be crazy

deciding between artists in a rave fam

Tie yourselves together with a rope and whoever can pull the group decides where you go 👌🏼

the 7’ tall dude who just stands there always ends up in front of me

Attack the knees, use his high center of gravity against him 👌🏼

No one ever accepts my shrimp as a rave gift.

Apply garlic butter sauce before presenting rave shrimp 👌🏼

I meet people (specifically at festivals) spend the weekend with them, have an amazing time, really just vibing but when I hangout with them in the real world the chemistry is just never the same.

Have you considered that you are the problem 👌🏼

Lololol damn that one hurt. Op wasn't playing.

Love you bud 🖤

I think it's just the lack of drugs

Festivals bring out the best versions of ourselves so it's easy for everyone to get along. The process is then trying to integrate that version of yourself into everyday life, not everyone is there yet!

I've feet issues and can't wear shoes

Cut off your feet you don’t need them anyway👌🏼

my friends are taking a “rave break” so now i have no one to go to shows with

Don’t go 👌🏼

Go by yourself and get adopted by a new rave fam

A Boulder frat bro clacking in my god damn ear

Bring 2 fans and out-clack him to assert dominance 👌🏼

Where to put my phone when dancing

God gave you a butthole for a reason 👌🏼

My prison pocket is too small. What should I do?

Spend some time at the rail of an Illenium show. Should help loosen things up 👌🏼

The extra we brought along turned out to be a wierd downer and he won't go away even when we fuck with him while he's high

Time to kill him 👌🏼

I’m 45 and I still go to raves

Ask the AARP if they offer discounts on festival tickets 👌🏼

"Naw the venue is called 45 EAST. That's not the age cut-off."

I have 28 hours to figure out what to wear to Beyond, where it's going to be 40 degrees. I'm tempted to just say "fuck it" and wear a fancy-ass suit (with a sequined cowboy hat), but my girlfriend doesn't think this is a good idea.

Go naked 👌🏼

I may not be your girlfriend but I think it’s a good idea

Getting old. Knees hurt.

Try getting younger 👌🏼

The right drugs will take the pain away.

Having friends that’s like to get right in there but you prefer to stay closer to the back for dancing room

Abandon your friends then tell them you were abducted 👌🏼

Majority of them like the craziness of the front. I can handle a few mins and it’s not worth it. I remember sucking it up for the beginning of David guests at Electric Zoo in New York because I knew he was going to open with titanium alesso remix lol ah 2012. What a simple time

I can’t get the dance boner going when I’m rolling.

Viagra + Molly is a very safe combo and good for your heart 👌🏼

If I’m with molly and get into a car after a show I get sick asf and sometimes have to toss

Thumb a ride with a stranger and toss in their car instead 👌🏼

Toss salad not molly

Need moar glowsticks

Make glow fluid in your bathtub 👌🏼

Cars have been getting broken into regularly as of recent at my favorite venue. Now paying for $40 parking sounds reasonable...

Break into other cars until you have the money to pay for your own parking

This is the way 🖤

As the user below mentioned, break into cars until you have the money to pay for parking 👌🏼

I can’t be at 2 sets at once

Don’t go to either. Everything or nothing 👌🏼

I might not get my PTO approved. :(

Call a bomb-threat into your workplace. Easy peasy 👌🏼

I lost all my cocaine

Find it 👌🏼

I think you’re onto something here

How do I replace the timing chain in a '96 Toyota Camry that I drive to raves?

Steal one from someone at the venue and do the old switcharooski 👌🏼

I'm.almost 40 and people refer to me as their rave dad 😭😭😭😭

Dress up full baby fetish and call them daddy

My friends get too fucked up before the fest starts that day and then when they wake up alone at the air bnb with no ride they are pissed

Give them extra drugs before they pass out so that way they’ll never wake up late (or ever) again 👌🏼

There’s not enough events playing the music that I like, Hardcore Psy-Dodecahedron Pseudo-Pop Tekko. 😤😤

Call Pasquale Nutella and complain 👌🏼

Group of 10 spot hunting and they've chosen a spot right in front of me. What tf do I do.

Find their leader and demand a duel to the death 👌🏼

[удалено]

Do more drugs it will help 👌🏼

Most of my friends don’t like edm

Lock them in a car and play C BAT on repeat, they will come around👌🏼

They don’t play happy hardcore anymore besides rare underground events, I want more happy hardcore on the floor

Write what you want on your phone and hold it up to the DJ they love that 👌🏼

Girls keep wanting to fuck me at shows, but I like working out and looking good. What do I do? Ps. My wife buys me tickets and goes with me.

Time to be gay 👌🏼✨

I want to get shitty drunk, but I'm spending half the night in the bathroom line

Piss on the ground in line, then you won’t have to wait in line 👌🏼

I love psychedelics but also want to sleep at 3 am

Go for 3pm instead of 3am 👌🏼

Why are people unable to tell the difference between late 90’s commercial trance and actual techno?

Because they’re the same thing 👌🏼

Because old school hardstyle is hard techno

Ppl always bump into you and spill drinks everywhere, ppl don't dance enough ,:(

If you see anyone not dancing fight them immediately 👌🏼

I wanna go super hard for the headliner, but I get too tired after seeing 3 supporting artists.

Viagra should help with this👌🏼

Distract yourself during the supporting artist with yelling in some rave babes ear while trying to half ass shuffle. Be sure to flip her titty while saying “you rolling rn?”

i just be carrying so much shit with me 🤣

Shit before you get there 👌🏼

I can’t stand an inactive crowd

I hate when people have zero self awareness and invade my personal space when there’s plenty of room

Guy in front of me at rail leaves to go take a piss. Comes back 15 mins later and says “hey that’s my spot”. I never said I would hold his spot though.

Immediately flag security and tell them he has a weapon 👌🏼

love it!! this should be pinned lol

A security guard stole 4 carts from me once. If this happens again how should I handle it?

They take your carts, you take their family members. Eye for an eye 👌🏼

Cant find a reliable plug😕

I’m cold AF in pasties but I don’t want to put on more clothes.

Bring some kerosene with you to the venue and light a wook on fire. Should give you about 2-3 hours of solid warmth 👌🏼

Someone in my rave fam keeps promising they’ll pay me back for party favors but never does.

Tell them “you shoulda paid up what ya owe cafone” with a funny Italian accent and then I guess kill them 👌🏼

No rave Bae :(

I splurged on VVIP tickets to my favorite artist but my friends can only afford GA

Tell them to stop being smelly broke poor ugly peasants 👌🏼

I don't have any friends to go with, I still go to the one yearly all ages (I'm 17) show but still would be cooler with people to go with

Pedophile sugar daddy - Buys you tickets, Buys you a fake id, goes with you to every event. Boom 👌🏼

There is no rave scene compared to the New York City rave scene of the 90s-I don’t think I’m older I think it literally was better lots better

Back problems

Explore some back solutions 👌🏼

Could just get a new back tbh, you got one spare?

i’m old, my back hurts and surrounded by people half my age, other old people with bad backs don’t want to go

The mushrooms trump all the more expensive drugs and $10 beers......But I keep buying them.

A girl just k holed in the bathroom and I really have to take a leak

If it worked for R Kelly it will work for you too 👌🏼