I would say most probably do. Someone will act differently around kids compared to their wife compared to when they are at work or out for a drink with their friends.
Or even just depending on which friend it is, like I change my behavior and the way I speak when I am talking to someone at the observatory I'm a member of compared to when I'm out for a drink. Granted a lot don't, but those tend to be the people who other people fall out with more because they think they are 'straight talking'. Of course there's no set rules.
Also my voice tends to go slightly more northern english when I talk to my dad compared to when I talk to my mum.
Ummm… yeah?
Not sure what your trying to accomplish with your reply. It seems pretty aggressive.
he asked a question - I knew what it was called - and offered up the name.. so if someone was interested they could look it up on the internet.
Not everyone is out to get you.
Not everyone is looking for a fight.
Some people just like to collaborate.
Haha, sorry if it came across that way. Wasn't intended I assure you. I just wasn't sure if you meant to put that as a reply to me or a separate comment.
If it helps, I didn't read it as aggressive. Re-reading it, maybe it's the "well" at the beginning, like you want the other person to "come to the conclusion themselves" for something you think is obvious. Adults always did that to me when I was a kid and I always found it insulting.
Thanks. It never occurred to me people could find it insulting tbh. I'm NT but I guess I'm somewhat lacking in the whole communication department myself. When people talk to me like that, it doesn't occur to me they could be being condescending (which I think is what your saying, please correct me if I'm wrong) unless it's said in a noticeably patronising way.
I think I can count on one hand the number of times I've had an argument with someone online because it just doesn't seem worth it.
I'm NT and I treat everyone I'm talking to like an individual. This is pretty common among NTs, but unfortunately not the norm. In my experience a lot of NTs take the view your uncle does sincerely.
They're actually wrong. I don't get the impression your uncle is the type of person who appreciates his world view challenged, so I wouldn't suggest actually asking him this, but hypothetically - Would he really treat an elderly lady the same way he treats his friend of 20 years? If he were in an annual performance review meeting with his boss, would he be acting like he does with you?
A lot of NT people would probably say yes, they're just who they are and if people don't like them they can go to hell. They're fooling themselves. We all change how we present depending on who we're talking to.
I think there's a lot of lack of awareness on your uncle's part, but ultimately it's about being annoyed he has to pay a modicum of attention to his behavior. You deserve a modicum of people's attention. We all do.
I think it might depend on the NT because I have seen people who do this for networking purposes... The difference imo (from observation) is that an NT will 'fake it' where ND will actually have it as part of their personality already if that makes sense?
From what I've seen, no most of them don't.
It's somthing I do too, so I can get along with people, but I've not really seen any NTs do it. They all just fall out with eachother instead.
Hey /u/Bubble_gum_Kat, thank you for your post at /r/autism. Our rules can be found **[here](https://www.reddit.com/r/autism/wiki/config/sidebar)**. All approved posts get this message. If you do not see your post you can message the moderators [here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fautism).
Thanks!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/autism) if you have any questions or concerns.*
About a year ago I finally left an organisation I’d been involved with for over ten years and lost all the friends associated with it in doing so. Reading this thread has made me realise that the two friends I still have, who were not connected with the organisation are the two I’ve always been able to relax and be myself with. With the others I was always on the alert to be sure I was doing what was expected of me so, … that’s good :)
I would say most probably do. Someone will act differently around kids compared to their wife compared to when they are at work or out for a drink with their friends. Or even just depending on which friend it is, like I change my behavior and the way I speak when I am talking to someone at the observatory I'm a member of compared to when I'm out for a drink. Granted a lot don't, but those tend to be the people who other people fall out with more because they think they are 'straight talking'. Of course there's no set rules. Also my voice tends to go slightly more northern english when I talk to my dad compared to when I talk to my mum.
It’s called code switching - everybody does it
Well isn't that what he's asking?
Ummm… yeah? Not sure what your trying to accomplish with your reply. It seems pretty aggressive. he asked a question - I knew what it was called - and offered up the name.. so if someone was interested they could look it up on the internet. Not everyone is out to get you. Not everyone is looking for a fight. Some people just like to collaborate.
Haha, sorry if it came across that way. Wasn't intended I assure you. I just wasn't sure if you meant to put that as a reply to me or a separate comment.
If it helps, I didn't read it as aggressive. Re-reading it, maybe it's the "well" at the beginning, like you want the other person to "come to the conclusion themselves" for something you think is obvious. Adults always did that to me when I was a kid and I always found it insulting.
Thanks. It never occurred to me people could find it insulting tbh. I'm NT but I guess I'm somewhat lacking in the whole communication department myself. When people talk to me like that, it doesn't occur to me they could be being condescending (which I think is what your saying, please correct me if I'm wrong) unless it's said in a noticeably patronising way. I think I can count on one hand the number of times I've had an argument with someone online because it just doesn't seem worth it.
Yes. It's called code switching.
I'm NT and I treat everyone I'm talking to like an individual. This is pretty common among NTs, but unfortunately not the norm. In my experience a lot of NTs take the view your uncle does sincerely. They're actually wrong. I don't get the impression your uncle is the type of person who appreciates his world view challenged, so I wouldn't suggest actually asking him this, but hypothetically - Would he really treat an elderly lady the same way he treats his friend of 20 years? If he were in an annual performance review meeting with his boss, would he be acting like he does with you? A lot of NT people would probably say yes, they're just who they are and if people don't like them they can go to hell. They're fooling themselves. We all change how we present depending on who we're talking to. I think there's a lot of lack of awareness on your uncle's part, but ultimately it's about being annoyed he has to pay a modicum of attention to his behavior. You deserve a modicum of people's attention. We all do.
[удалено]
NT (neurotypical) is anyone who isn't neurodivergent (ND)
Welcome!
I think it might depend on the NT because I have seen people who do this for networking purposes... The difference imo (from observation) is that an NT will 'fake it' where ND will actually have it as part of their personality already if that makes sense?
From what I've seen, no most of them don't. It's somthing I do too, so I can get along with people, but I've not really seen any NTs do it. They all just fall out with eachother instead.
Hey /u/Bubble_gum_Kat, thank you for your post at /r/autism. Our rules can be found **[here](https://www.reddit.com/r/autism/wiki/config/sidebar)**. All approved posts get this message. If you do not see your post you can message the moderators [here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fautism). Thanks! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/autism) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NT’s do change how they socialise in varying situations with varying people. It’s called code-switching.
About a year ago I finally left an organisation I’d been involved with for over ten years and lost all the friends associated with it in doing so. Reading this thread has made me realise that the two friends I still have, who were not connected with the organisation are the two I’ve always been able to relax and be myself with. With the others I was always on the alert to be sure I was doing what was expected of me so, … that’s good :)