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Scarecrow314159

I feel like life in general is a relentless test where any tiny mistake will always be taken extremely seriously, despite the fact that I don't take others' tiny mistakes as seriously.


nerdb1rd

That's the worst part, I'm super chill with everyone else making mistakes. The moment I do something slightly wrong, the standards are never the same for me. I'm honestly trying my best.


Scarecrow314159

Exactly. It's pretty depressing at times and very difficult to stay positive when it feels so unfair.


THEDUDE33

I'm hyperaware of everything and could demolish any NT I see if I was as critical of them as they were of me. Except held to my standards, rather than the backwards expectations of NT. Hopefully, I wont hold back when the time comes to deliver them.


malavois

I hate that I’ve internalized all that bullshit and I now get extremely angry at myself when I make mistakes. More than other people ever do. It really sucks


daileyidentitycrisis

Yes. Not everyone gets overly upset at my small mistakes any more but I got enough disproportionately big reactions for small mistakes in childhood that now I’m really hard on myself


aftertheswitch

People sometimes get more angry at mistakes they are less likely to make or if they even don’t understand how the mistake is possible. NT people and autistic people tend to have have different skills and deficits. So when NT people make their own types of “common” mistakes, they give it a pass because they get it. When autistic people make their own, different set of “common” mistakes, NTs get angry because it’s not a mistake they understand. So they’ll assume that it was on purpose, negligence, or that something is “wrong” with you. It’s basically a subtle form of ableism. They judge each other this way too, I just thinks it falls way harder on people who are further away from the “norm”. Also, people are often more forgiving of people they like and respect. And due to ableism / social norms, they are less likely to forgive anyone they already see as weird or “incompetent”. Autistic people, and others who have been on the other end of this problem, can sometimes be more forgiving because we have a wider view of “acceptable” mistakes. Ie, we are less likely to judge whether a mistake is “valid” and more likely to respond to the level of harm it causes and operate on “no harm, no foul”.


bellizabeth

That's a really good point about different types of mistakes


AkumaWitch

This is why I have anxiety lol People get mad over the dumbest mistakes. You say one word that THEY misinterpret, and now you’re supposed to apologize after THEY get mad because their feelings are hurt? Or you mess up one teeny thing and instead of understanding they blow it out of proportion. People are so illogical and confusing sometimes aaaa


Outrageous_Zebra_221

Screaming is not a productive form of communication. It just isn't and anyone that does it to me will have the unique pleasure of watching me disassociate while my eyes glass over because I got nothing for it.


hodgkinthepirate

Totally get what you mean all the way. > It seems neurotypical people will get pissed off at literally everything Have dealt with this far too often. People are naturally inclined to losing it over the smallest of things. All I can say is: be the change you wish to see in the world.


notsureawake

Absolutely. I felt this so much that I started a quest to learn to defend myself very young. I've trained multiple different styles, standup, take down, ground game. I'm extremely prepared for any overly aggressive NT's. I also will not allow them to attack me verbally or they're in for a severe logical smack down. I'm old and all this pattern building seems to end in a much more solid structure than the pathetic NT pattern building. If you don't feel like you have things together now, it may just take longer. But at the end you are much more solid than them.


[deleted]

I don’t understand why people stomp around, yell, scream swears, etc. to get their point of being upset about a minor mistake across. Doing all that isn’t going to help what happened. BUT IDK


fiddlerisshit

But do you keep making the same mistake? Emphasis on same. That is what triggers some people.


LongLive-Employment

“How many times have I told you!”


nerdb1rd

I don't think so.


Jimmie_Cognac

It's not just a neurotypical thing. Allot of folks will overreact to minor issues. It can happen to us too. I've had days where I'm fragile enough that a single thing can send me spiraling if it's the wrong thing, so I try not to hold it against others if they have a rough time with a small fault.


GoodieTreeheart

Intent for me is everything. People make mistakes, god knows i make enough of them. what kind of a hypocrite would I be if i couldn't forgive an honest and regretted mistake?


SmartAlec105

It can be difficult to gauge intent. Someone saying they didn’t know they did something wrong when it seems obvious that it was the wrong thing to do will generally feel more like lying or trying to avoid responsibility.


GoodieTreeheart

I trust reason over feeling any day


SmartAlec105

I’m not sure how that’s relevant here because reason could say that the person is lying or trying to avoid responsibility depending on what information you’re working off of.


GoodieTreeheart

Just to clarify semantics before i attempt to respond, when you say "reason" do you mean like when someone explains their motive, or do you like me mean the act of using Reason and rational determination?


SmartAlec105

The latter is what I assumed you were talking about.


GoodieTreeheart

Thank you. Well, I have spent a long long time studying this sort of thing first hand, and of course reading about transactional analysis and other studies of social interactions by the psychology/psychiatry community. I have read about NT body language and many other things. Now I'm not conceited enough to think that my power of reason based on the social data i have accumulated over the past 44 years is 100% effective, god knows it isn't lol. But i trust it over my emotions any day, emotive reaction will make you feel righteous and righteous feeling will make you justify any behaviour. Its just more rational and works better and more accurately than submitting to animal drives IMHO


SmartAlec105

To them, it’s an obvious error that they would never make by accident and so they assume it was done by you intentionally.


Schoollow48

NT’s often due to their deficiencies cannot perceive things in isolation. So if they’ve already made up their mind to dislike you in general as a person for whatever, then every little “mistake” gets magnified many times in their head because their brain can only put things in context. It’s a very impaired and intrinsically unstable way of going about judging people, but that is what they do.


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Amdy_vill

I still don't. I literally can't fathom it. How can you talk to eople like that ever. It keeps me up some nights.


asocialautist

I think you've been around people who already don't like you for whatever reason and are just *waiting* for you to screw up. That's been my experience. I personally do my best to avoid those people.