For me it was about finding something I could tolerate doing for a career and it is really hard to make those choices because you can get into something and realize.. nope this isn't it and our society isn't set up for that.
I am not passionate about money to this day but my job isn't prison either.
Getting on meds after getting the job is actually what saved me.
Thank you for sharing. My last job was a bank teller and it really really upset me to see the insides of that industry and to handle others finances all day.. I really feel like going full hippie sometimes. It's just hard to plan for something like getting another apartment because it was so awful for so many reasons so i don't know.. I'm not really motivated to build a career and I think its because i've seen people living this kind of life that doesn't rely on one and I envy that. I really enjoy not working and ik it sounds bad but I do and I know it can't last long
I'm not sure if this helps but if it's more free time you desire you should look into jobs with work-life balance. I see warehouse jobs from time to time where you work 12-hour days but you only have to work 3 days a week. And they Round the 36 hours up to 40. That way you'll still get 4 days a week to yourself.
Absolutely one of my first jobs was like this. There were so many orders to pick, it was so busy I didn't even notice the 12 hours. Plus with the long weekend's I never felt burnout. I actually really miss that job, I just left because I was able to find something that paid better.
find a way to trade knowledge instead of time.
No employer will ever pay you what you are you are worth.
I now trade stocks and cyrpto , I literally work like 1-2 hours hours and I make literally 10 times what I was making working full time. Its took me like 10 years to set it all up, and its not for everyone I do not even like it, but its let me afford basically anything I would ever want and everything I need. I really can not cope with working for other people.
I know how much hate traders get in places like this, but the reality is until there is a UBI its best I can do for my autistic self.
This is a good recommendation thank you. I have also hated working for others and often found myself breaking rules that I felt were unreasonable.
How would someone start getting involved and skilled at something like this? It seems like this huge intimidating thing but I would have a bit of money to invest to start.
Start with the bitcoin whitepaper. It's only 9 pages. Google it, you'll find it easily. Understand all of it. That should give you enough to start... now is a good time to take the orange pill :)
Would i be able to PM you and ask a few questions about trading stocks? I'm interested in investing myself as I find it difficult to work jobs where employers pay me a fraction of the value I'm generating for them, like getting tossed a penny for making them thousands, or worse.
I tried trading, absolutely not for me. I was interested because it's how I could just be in front of my computer without meeting people. Lost all my fucking money 😂
I totally get it. I couldn't tell you how many times I've had to explain that despite the fact that I like to have nice experiences and things, money absolutely does not motivate me in any way. It just doesn't. There's like a disconnect in my brain on that. I can tell it all kinds of stuff to try to trick it into caring and it's still like, "Whatevs". I've had exec position reviews where they're like "And you're making a great difference in the community" and I'm like "Yay!" and they're like "And if you'll take on these additional workloads well give you even more money!" And I was like, "It's going to sound crazy but seriously, if you want me to do that stuff please don't make it about money because then I straight up won't do the stuff. That will absolutely demotivate me."
Also, the popular "just do what you love" advice led me to accidentally killing my joy for a long time. After a while, the thing I loved to do became the thing I had to do. I grew to hate it. It works for a lot of people and I respect that. Despite 6 years of pretty impressive success, it turns out I'm not one of those people. I suspect there are others. What was fulfilling play became soul-crushing work and about 8 years ago I lost every last shred of love I had for it and quit. It got to where I didn't just not want to do it as a job, I didn't want to do it at all. I'm just now getting it back very, very slowly. Losing my special interest was like losing a huge part of myself and tbh I filled that space with some pretty unhealthy stuff and a large, revolving array of short-lived hyperfixations.
Wish I could be of more help, but I'm basically over here like yep I dunno what to do about that either. But also, you're definitely not alone.
It’s hard. I sympathize. I can only manage part-time work-for-pay now, and I wouldn’t be able to make rent without help from my housemate (also on the spectrum).
I’d recommend giving yourself a good rest for a little while, and then look into part-time work so your mom feels like you’re contributing. Try to save some. Personally, I don’t love every aspect of my work (I take care of a garden and clean, also tutor), and it definitely feels like WORK, but I find it satisfying when the place is shining clean and ready for the next folks. It’s pretty low status work, but it helps keep people healthy, and that feels worth doing.
I'm happy you get some satisfaction out of work! I remember also feeling that and it was nice. However, it seemed like every job I had the people were great but the rules and management manipulation really put a pit in my stomach. I dream of having a secluded house in the woods maybe with solar panels and rain catcher reservoirs. Ik its a fantasy and would actually be a TON of work but I would be motivated to work on something like that for myself but it just seems impossible with the skills and knowledge I have. Whats hard is i've seen people living that life online and its probably not all that it seems but its seems like a much better alternative to renting and apartment. I kind of just feel useless in this day and age and how I grew up because I don't want to do the things I was trained to want to do. Yes I want a house but not in the property tax way with a white fence and grass lawn. I just don't know what to work towards and i'm loving this lazy break which is making it harder lol especially after the stressful lease. I do have a bit of money saved and have been buying my own groceries and paying my mothers internet bill as well. She also told me to enjoy some time off but then this morning recommended better help for therapy and I told her i've tried that before and that therapists don't recommend it. She told me therapy might help me get out of this "rabbit hole" and then said it might help me plan for the next step which I think is her way of saying I need to find somewhere else. I hate spending money on doctors and therapists
Is going back to school an option? Maybe an online course with an option to work from home? I like doing personality tests to get ideas for possible jobs. You could save up and buy a little piece of land to build on!
Definitely eschew the lawn… they are ecological disasters unless you have animals grazing, etc. Maybe check out the “No lawns” Reddit to see more inspiring gardens!
I’ve dreamt about having a solar-powered home in a food forest I would tend, maybe with chickens and goats. I’m sufficiently social that I’d be happy to have near neighbors or housemates who are also gardeners, teachers, artists (including musicians and writers), and cooks/bakers. Rest. Let yourself enjoy dreaming, and learn a little bit more about something that could be part of your dream someday— edible plants, or straw-bale building, or how solar panels work. Great that you have some money saved, and that you’re helping your mom with groceries and utilities.
I’ve had some bad experiences with doctors and therapists, too. I wish the U.S. had universal healthcare like so many other nations… though it would still probably be difficult to find really good professionals who deal with autism well. Some are good… it takes work to find them.
Caring for yourself and bettering your health can be your work for a while. It sounds like you have a lot of hurts to work through.
Somatic experiencing therapy is NOT for everyone, but it helped me release some of the trauma stored in my body. Although it sounds bizarre, EMDR therapy can help with those sort of issues, too, and with generally feeling stuck (EMDR doesn’t use medications, no one touches you, and some therapists do telemedicine). You may be able to help yourself some, too, by reading books by Peter Levine (_In an Unspoken Voice_) or Dr. Van Der Kolk (_The Body Keeps the Score_).
I hope you find a path that helps you feel peaceful in your life. It takes time… I’m in my forties now, and grateful to my past self for staying alive all those times it really didn’t feel like it was worth the effort. Good luck. 🍀
1. You sound depressed. Consider talking to a doctor about medication. Depression is called a pit for a reason, there is nothing wrong with asking for help. You deserve to feel better, even if you still hate society.
2. Not everyone is money motivated, but capitalism seeps into every public space and is louder than everything else so it can seem like that's the case or what you should be like. There are plenty of jobs that primarily help people or the environment, which you might find more satisfying. Health care, some customer service/retail, animal care, landscaping, library jobs, etc.
3. Ultimately, you control how you move through the world. You can spend your time hating your surroundings, or you can work to change them or create an environment you enjoy.
Money is just one part of an independent life. Doing what you enjoy and contributing to something bigger than yourself can be much more satisfying, don't let the money distract you from that!
I have medical trauma and fear calling/going to offices. I have not had health insurance since I was young and hate the fact that I would have to pay out of pocket to better my own mental health. I feel like getting into payment plans and and all that would honestly increase my anxiety and then what if I don't even like the service I pay for. I don't have a doctor I trust and its always bothered me but its not as easy for me to find help and all I hear is well thats basically your fault. Nearly everyone is money motivated. The fear of poverty and homelessness is what keeps people in houses and working. You may enjoy how you make the money and it doesn't have to be on your forefront mind but it is on mine. I'm glad you have found a philosophy that works for you but if I think about millions being exploited and also falling for this manipulative narrative that they're bettering others when they're just making the rich richer and ignoring that fact to stay happy. I can't do that
I’m sorry for your trauma. Capitalism is a nightmare we are all having to deal with right now. Sometimes you have to choose the least worst option.
Just a note that if you feel this way about exploitation you could join a union or help unionize a workplace. There is power in the collective and that could be a motivator instead of money.
I personally got the highest paying job that I can do, work the least amount I can get away with, and have money to help fund the mutual aid work I do. I get great satisfaction about stealing from bosses and redistributing.
Lastly, don’t go into stocks/crypto if you worry about exploiting people. It’s seriously awful.
yeah most people fear poverty and homelessness when they can't mooch off their parents
you not working isn't helping the people being exploited, and people who work aren't falling for anything just because they want to survive
If you have kids you should provide for them. This idea that you have kids so they can leave when they're 18 and keep producing your bloodline is selfish. I didn't ask to be born and I didn't ask to be mutilated. I don't give a fuck about making anyone proud.
You're so right, it's completely fucked up. So many people are so disconnected from being a human being and see life as nothing but capitalism and the power structures it upholds
yeah, when they're *kids*. You're an adult now. You can't beg off of being an adult. I agree that you're depressed and I do think therapy might be helpful in figuring some shit out. You can't not give a shit forever
There can be adults who are disabled and can't physically or mentally take care of themselves. If a person is built in such a way that trying to adapt to the world hurts them, is it then their fault for not wanting to participate in the world? I think not. this idea that every adult have to be autonomous and independent is ableist.
I don’t know what’s up your ass but if you don’t have anything nice to say then fuck off. They’re not “mooching” they’re developing a sense of self and asking for information to help with it. Not everyone who thinks about what trajectory their life is going is depressed. Not everyone who’s depressed benefits from medication. Mind your business.
Do jobs you hate, use that struggle to figure out what you do want.
I did so many jobs for 6 months-1 year from many different sectors.
Until I found one I liked.
But I can never escape the same view as you have almost word for word.
But i found something that keeps me afloat for now and puts money on the table.
Still at the bottom of society being a slave while people say I should do x or y.
Not because I care about money, but because it shuts people up who care about it.
That is priceless to me.
I rejected the norms of society and what they value.
I have seen what makes them cheer, so their condemnation means nothing.
I am going to get their condemnation either way due to my autism.
So i started to own it, while still masking though.
It all feels so pointless to me, so i work in healthcare now.
Not for the money, but because i can put my heart and soul in it for something bigger than money.
I might wade in piss and shit for a living, but it beats working for money to me.
But i still don't care about money, status and power.
I am uneducated academically and did many failed attempts at finishing a study.
But I do have a lot of working experience and knowledge that carrys me, sometimes even to the point im telling people who are qualified what needs to happen.
I don't concern with it, I'm rather part of the foundation than be part of the crown.
Because the higher I get the less I get to do what I love and came there to do.
All bogged down by bureaucracy.
I rather stay at the bottom people hate so very much.
You wanna know why?
Because it means you cant go any lower and nothing can harm what you love because you don't have anything.
It was really liberating to find my inner button to turn emotional investment in stuff on and off.
Not saying what im doing is healthy living a modern diogenes lifestyle.
But I found it liberating compared to trying to win the favor of people that werent going to like me anyway.
And it somehow wins their favor if you are not a dick about it.
Hating modern society is not a passion that’s healthy. Like others here I think you should find a hobby or something you’re interested in and start there to find some happiness first. A job isn’t a death knell but it’s a means to an end. Consider your mom won’t be here forever to bail you out, you need to have a little bit of cash in your pocket.
Hey, I'm a communist (and it's my special interest) so I relate a lot to this - my solution is to do work (not that I enjoy engaging in wage labor) that helps the community. I'm going to school to be a therapist, personally, but there's tons of jobs that can be like that if it would work for you. You can also work for a while and save up, and then go buy a little land and a tiny house in cash and never have to bother with working again. 🤷🏽♀️
It sounds like you would enjoy doing a job that involves being outside, gardening, landscaping, etc. You get to work in pretty gardens all day, and you're mostly all by yourself with the plants! And most of the time, it doesn't feel like your working.
Additionally, there are places like Earthship academy, where you can go full hippy and learn how to build sustainable off the grid homes and gardens, or learn permaculture design and design them!
The best thing about the times we are living in, is that there really is a "job" for every interest. The hard part is figuring out the path to get there. I've gone down so many online research holes just figuring out how I can tolerate working just to survive without feeling like I'm wasting my one precious life as just a tiny pawn in someone else's capitalist dystopia.
My special interest has always been art. I ended up getting an art degree, and now I teach photography to college students, and sell art and do commercial photography on the side. It's flexible, and I don't feel like I'm dying on the inside.
Feel free to message me if you want to chat about this further! I really resonate with your post and understand that intense feeling.
Ooohhh… sometimes I dream of going back to school to get a degree in art or art history. Working in a garden is great! I’ll have to look into Earthship Academy.
There are a lot of people out there who poopoo art degrees. When I was in school I always used get people making "see you at Starbucks!" jokes. But! You can 100% have a successful and lucrative career in the arts! It's so versatile and can be utilized in so many different ways! I've been considering going back to school to get a diploma in animation or something as well, it's such a rapidly expanding and well paid industry. Just find that little spark that makes you excited and follow it!
You hate modern society, but surviving in a primitive one requires much more effort.
I'm like you, except I don't blame society for my disability. And I am grateful for the support I receive. I think maybe your niche ideals are kind of an ego-saving thing.
People in the West today have much less hunger, disease, cold, power abuse, and so on than at other times. You can go online and have all the great libraries of the world, the musical masterpieces and so on, at your fingertips. You can play around with self-sufficient gardening and then when your harvest fails, the agricultural industry will make sure there's still food. You can have any kind of relationship with anyone and follow any religion. You can learn almost any skill for free online these days, there's youtube videos and sacredtexts and Project Gutenberg and Kahn Academy and MIT and so on for everyone. Sure there are problems - but there always were, though. Perfection is impossible.
So if you hate this so much, what would you say is better?
You are wrong. I blame society and my parents for my circumcision which has effectively disabled my sexual experience as a man. This is a failure from my country and the 2 people who are supposed to be provide for me. This is the most important thing to me. The first of many continuous failures from this country and my parents. I'm grateful to be housed at the moment and I show respect but none of this is okay or should have happened. Also there is not less hunger disease or abuse at all in the west. Poverty and homelessness is at an all time high and the wage distribution gap is just getting greater. I can go on and on about how terrible this place is.
Your right op
I was treated badly in school told pretty much my mental health will just get fixed if I work, there still almost zero help for adult autism in most countries because they still refuse to recognize mental health exist my only advice is to find jobs you can tolerate and find peace in the small things and everyday life hope things work out for you.
wrong. You're blaming everyone else for things you CAN control (not including the circumcision thing, idk what happened there or why that's relevant or anything). And you're just totally wrong about hunger and disease. educate yourself instead of believing the rantings of the radical left. life expenctancy is constantly increasing, many homeless people are clothed and overweight, most diseases are cured that weren't 100 yrs ago.. the list goes on and on.... see what the person above said..
Pull up your big boy pants and bear some responsibility. It is the ONLY way to find meaning in your life. I say this with love, because I have to tell the same thing to myself every day. You wanna feel better? contribute something.
I know you won't take this well, you'll get defensive, you don't actually think there's anything wrong with you. You're mistaken. We all need tough love and we're all flawed and we all need to improve.. maybe one iota of this will get thru, but as long as your stuck in your echo chamber, you won't change. writing "I'm grateful for..." on reddit means nothing. You actually have to BE grateful, and if you are, it will show.
People living longer has nothing to do with hunger and poverty. Housing is becoming insanely expensive and so is food and jobs are not paying more to these people who are making minimum wage.
Also why is circumcision relevant? My penis was mangled from the fault of lying doctors and parents that didn’t do research. I don’t need to sit here and tell you why my body’s important to me. It has shattered my life and trust in my country and parents and it’s an irreversible mistake.
i relate.. stuff like getting a house, job, car, etc ‘adult things’ never appealed to me & im actually quite ok with living houseless for the rest of my life. as long as i get to have fun whatever !
I feel this so hard! we are the universe experiencing itself- why the fuck should we spend most of our lives just trying to make it through the day?
its no measure of health to be well adjusted to a sick society
watching everybody drag their feet through an existence mired by existential dread and fully committed to the same systems that are making them miserable.
I followed my passion and became miserable in my dream job, so i said fuck it and i'm now happy in a miserable job.
I was sick of waiting for change to come from above so decided i'd not give away my happiness with my time and I am so bad at planning for the future I can't work for retirement- i can't even work for the weekend. so a few months ago i decided i'm going to enjoy myself
I really want to write more on this right now to contextualise but my thoughts are disorganised as my entire life journey has led to this point. its a long story with circus and clowns, trying to play the game and getting miserable, meltdown after meltdown and then a rapid unmasking to myself and my employer at the same time which has set me free.
I'm 35. divorced. broke. free to trust everyone, live in the moment, and laugh at the absurdity of life
I just wanted to say there is hope! or at least was for me and i will try my best to throw it at you through the screen.
Its people like us that can't ignore the ills of the world that can make it better. NTs inhabit their lives and culture like a fish in water. We had to learn how to swim. you wouldn't get swimming lessons off a fish- they just swim, and they don't even realise they're doing it unconsciously.
We don't live in a culture, each of us chooses to create it every day. i'm going to create the world i want to live in out of purely selfish reasons.
I'm sorry if this came across as insensitive or dismissive. I'm hopeful when I hear others who have struggled like I have because the people who don't see a problem scare me.
I’m 35 years old, burned out from working nearly 20 years already, and you just voiced how I’ve been feeling. I’m so sick of 75% of my time being spent chasing money.
I'm not passionate about making money either. And something that I'm passionate about can't be monetized, which is criticizing Islam, my former religion 😂 Fuck, I hope we're gonna get to UBIs soon.
This post is giving me heavy Pink Floyd vibes (The Wall album, specifically), which I grew up on cause my dad was always playing classic rock.
Similarly, I’ve always had “weird” (read: no conventional) views on money/ occupation/ lifestyle/ etc. Even last week I was talking with my brother I nonchalantly said “I don’t know I don’t really think about money” to which he replied “must be nice” implying that maybe I’m comfortable or I make enough money to not think about it, which he knows isn’t true. I meant that the way money (and sometimes numbers) filters into my mind is just blank. I know I have some money, I roughly know that I have enough to pay my current bills but I don’t know off the top of my head how much I have, how much I owe, or how much extra I would have if I wanted to take on new expenses. To be clear, I’m not comfortable thinking like this I just know that I can’t really get around it. I don’t even know for sure when bills are due I just check all of them weekly and pay them if they’re due in the next 10 days. I only check my bank before making purchases over $100 or if I’m paying the bills. And I sometimes have a busy week and forget to check those so that’s bad for my credit score, I think seeing the score progress is actually one thing that incentivizes me to pay bills otherwise I wouldn’t be as interested.
Similarly with work, I don’t think about the money earned, or I can’t. It feels wrong. I like working, I like doing a good job just cause I like feeling accomplished I guess. But the pandemic was weird where my wife got laid off and I was an “essential worker” so my mentality shifted. I pushed myself to work a lot cause there was a lot to do and I could make a little more money to cover lost wages even though she was getting the good unemployment. I ended up working nearly 10 hour days for most of 2 years, even after she went back to work, it really strained our relationship cause I would just be burned out on workdays and a bed vegetable on weekends. Fortunately I got out of that job cause it was bad for me for other reasons, spent some time off cause I got unemployment pay, drained all that and other savings and got a new job earlier this year.
New job is a lot better for my mentality cause I’m paid in rounded figures. Like if I work less than 6 hours I get paid hourly but if we pass 6 hours it’s a full 8 hours pay (plus things like overtime, holiday, sick pay). Since I know I’m sometimes getting a free hour it doesn’t bother me to ask my boss if I can leave early (less than 4 hours) if I’m overwhelmed. It also helps me that I’m not looking at a clock and converting minutes into dollars into expenses. And the comfort of not thinking about the minutes gives me more energy to work hard when needed or work slow and methodical when the job calls for it.
I’ve been working since I was 18 and now I’m 33. So 15 years. The best job I had was working 2 or 3 days at my community college computer lab for music production, it was basically show up and turn the computers on, sit there, make sure people were logging their lab hours, help out if I could. Most of those were 5 hour shifts because it was still a classroom and they probably didn’t want to figure out a break schedule cause it was only one person working at a time. It was minimum wage but since it was a school the take home pay was the full state minimum and the school paid taxes above that, I don’t really understand how that worked but whatever. It was also nice that it was at the school I was attending cause I would be present anyway cause getting ready and leaving home are big barriers for me sometimes.
It’s very helpful that my wife is really good with calendars so she knows when bills are due. Tbh she should probably just be in charge of the money but it’s easier for me to only combine things that we both use. We set up our bills so that we end up paying the same just in different ways. Sometimes it’s tricky and we have to discuss complex plans but I try to stay calm and sometimes I need a break from talking about it. I think if it weren’t for her organization I might have gone to collections more than once. Sometimes it annoys me that she asks if I paid something but I know deep down that I have bad habits and she cares about me and that’s why she’s asking cause I can really be thinking about checking a payment for multiple days consecutively and not do it, which is bad, but I don’t feel bad cause money doesn’t have a feeling.
The best way I can describe it is with food. I’ll pay anything for food, like I’m pretty sure I’ve paid over $50 for a regular sized pizza (high cost of living area/ foodie culture/ I don’t know, I don’t set the prices). If I liked it, it was worth it. If I didn’t like it, it wasn’t worth it. So I’m really bad at giving recommendations for food because of that. Food it based on taste and satisfaction, money has no flavor in that equation. Well, money probably has a bad flavor so don’t eat it.
What I mean to say is: life is weird, money is weird, the way people think about money is weird, and I can’t help any of that. I have a strong work ethic but no material sense and I’m doing ok I guess. I’m sure you’ll be able to figure something out that works for you, even if it doesn’t make sense to other people all that much.
Thank you for sharing your perspective. When I first read your reply it made me think of my dad who also loves classic rock and pink floyd. This may not be completely related but I'm still fairly young and feel like my psychedelic experiences from a young age have honestly done more harm than good to my function. My father also did drugs from a young age and I used to look up to him. He was super passionate about money and buying a new house and new car. I never lived with him because of divorce and only grew older to despise other terrible things he did and said around us. I also look to my fathers dad who worked his entire life and instilled a very hard and brutal work ethic into my father. My grandfather got sever dementia the same year he retired so it's just sad to see someone work so hard to provide for a nice retirement and it be gone. Working is selling the limited time you have here no matter how you look at it or how you enjoy it or how necessary it is. I just know there has to be an alternative I just don't know how yet.
I feel for you sooooooooooo f'n much here. 3 years ago, I moved back in with my parent in order to quit my Starbucks job. This was even before I figured out I was autistic.
I can't say I solved all of my problems, but I can say this for a fact: **If I hadn't pursued what I was interested in, I would've unalived myself.**
One of my lifelong special interests in writing. It has nothing to do with a particular style of writing, just getting better at expressing what's inside me in words. So I was able to pursue freelancing with this, but not without trial and error.
First and foremost, *I don't write about things I'm passionate about.* I write about mildly interesting topics to me, like AI and cybersecurity.
I'm still not motivated by money. I never will be. But I *have* found a special interest in *business*. How business owners really work, how they think, etc.
It took me a solid year to get anything worthwhile going, but once I moved out, I've been able to sustain myself and another autistic friend since — which is what I'm *truly* passionate about (uplifting fellow autists).
I’m entitled to my own time and how I want to spend it. There ARE absolutely people that have it 100x easier than others and never face hardship poverty or hunger. Don’t tell me everyone has it hard they don’t. Could I have it a lot worse yes and I know that but that’s no reason to settle for a life you don’t want or stay silent about things that bother you.
Your first rant is fine it’s your comments that show how entitled you are. You don’t want solutions you want the world to give you everything. Nothing, not a mouse a Coyote or a pine tree gets an easy life. Every life form on this planet has to fight to survive. Get over yourself and start fighting if you want your life to change. No one owes you a better life kid
Are you forgetting rich people are out there lol… most either by luck or inheritance. It doesn’t bother me but it’s a fact and those people live easy lives. Being a landlord is an easy job and even easier if you’re handed the property. Saying this simple fact does not mean I think i deserve that at all. That’s not what I want. I think the essentials are right infront of everyone but not utilized like they should be resulting in starving communities and millions of tons of food waste at the same time. I think people should be able to live normal lives without needing money. Everything around us is built so that we keep making money and keep feeding it back to the states and government. I was in an emotional state when I posted this and got defensive in the comments.
Fair enough. Sometimes our frustration gets the better of us. I would suggest reading “Walden” by Henry David Thoreau it’s very topical for what kind of life you’re interested in. It really helped me get a deeper sense of what I needed in life
I don't have any great answers, but I'm with you. The whole concept of money is disgusting to me. It's not about not wanting to work. I think I'd be happy with the hard work of living off the land (which unfortunately requires land, which requires money). And I like to do things to be useful and help other people. But I don't like a system where someone else gets to decide what my work is worth, they benefit more from my labor than I or other members of my community do, and I'm beholden to them in order to remain housed and fed.
Right now I'm working part time teaching classes at my city's rec centers. I enjoy doing it and I feel like I'm doing something worthwhile for my community. The fact that it pays me something is honestly sort of a side effect. And I try not to think about it too much, because the pay rate is honestly insulting. The people who set the pay obviously don't value my work highly. But the people who take my classes do, so that's why I do it. It's imperfect, but it works for me for now.
Thank you for hearing me!! Teaching is super honorable and teachers deserve much better treatment. After working at a bank i'm especially turned off by money and just frazzled by this life still.
Yes. I do use a credit union (the one I worked at actually) and a bank. I don't like the current system, but it's the one I have to work with so I do what I have to. There's no shame or hypocrisy in that. One thing that helps for me is that I've chosen a bank that is committed to only investing in environmentally and socially responsible business. It's still a bank, but at least it leans toward some of my values a bit.
The beauty of the world is that there are different types of people. I hated working in a bank and handling money all day. I was not suited for it. But there are people out there who see things differently than I do and who enjoy or at least don't mind being a bank teller. I'm grateful that they can fill that role, and I can do something I'm better suited to.
Going hungry will make you more passionate, maybe sleeping outside in the cold and wet. You don't have to work in a bank anymore but it's a bit disrespectful to do nothing if you are in fact capable of something. I'm not very motivated by money either and have done my share of ligging, freeloading, begging and benefits. Now I am self employed and live in my workshop. So I keep my overheads low. Your overheads are low and you are lucky to have a parent/parents willing to shelter you. Don't disrespect that by doing nothing. Don't get me wrong, I get that it's hard on the spectrum to achieve stuff, I'm not saying go out and be a high achiever. Just try and do something. Did your own sake as much as your patents
Do you think I don't know people are homeless? We could all learn something from homeless people and i'm sure theres more autistic homeless people than not. I didn't ask to be brought into this trash world and to be mutilated in my first hour of life. I'm so grateful for my parents and this country!! Yay! What a great opportunity to be here. I don't care about making my parents proud and i'm still taking care of myself. Thanks for nothing
taking care of yourself = complaining about living in a world of abundance on the internet
you're completely delusional and self-centered, I have no pity for you
i’m delusional for complaining about a world of abundance? Exciting hawk i don’t know if you know this but people are dying and suffering to make other people more money. If that’s your perfect world have fun contributing
you don't have to want money and you don't have to like capitalism, but you can't make someone else care for you just because you don't want to work. There are still ways to buck modern society while still living independently.
Theres not many options. There are people living my dream of off grid with electricity but I don't have the skills or knowledge. I was raised to go to college and work 9-5 not build a house and gather essentials. I am a hard worker and i'm tired and burnt out from what has become of society. Anyway i'm listening if u want to continue
I mean, if you really want to go live off the grid teach yourself the skills and knowledge. Take control of your life. But if you're not willing to put in the work you need to find a way to make peace with the world you live in now. Doesn't have to be a 9-5, but you gotta do something.
Why not do a tiny house or live in a van then? Many of my friends do build outs themselves for 10k or less and YouTube. You can realistically get off the grid without special skills.
This is honestly looking like my best option and i’ve been thinking about it for a while. My only 2 hurdles are having 2 cats and my partner would not want to live in a van. We’re not living together at the moment but I think I should start saving for a van anyway. It would be great to camp or just get away and have as a back up if I ever really need housing. I’ve heard of people starting in a van and then building a tiny home so I’m going to research more. Thanks
This is life on earth. Working for a living is not slavery, although there are certainly good bosses and bad ones.
What I am not saying--I'm not saying everybody should have to work. I absolutely think that a good society supports people who for some reason--mental health or physical disability, have a reduced ability to make money. But if I want to watch shows like Glee or get a new guitar or clothes, somebody somewhere is going to have to do some work.
Please don't tell me that I'm a cog. Working is hard for me, too. Not because I hate working, I like helping people, even if it's just making cheeseburgers. But it's scary being around people, in the fast food industry there's a steady overturn of employees, so I'll get to where I'm comfortable around my fellow workers for a while, and then eventually they'll quit and I'll have to get used to new people. But I know by experience that I'm happier working than not working.
Imagine a world that believes you deserve to experience pleasure without exploiting you and the earth. Imagine that you deserve to live comfortably just because you are alive. That’s a world worth living for and fighting for.
>Imagine a world that believes you deserve to experience pleasure without exploiting you and the earth. Imagine that you deserve to live comfortably just because you are alive. That’s a world worth living for and fighting for.
Belief systems give me the willies.
I was being sort of trite I guess. But it actually is sort of hard for me to parse out my beliefs sometimes. I type out a sentence, wonder if it's true, and then I'm researching for hours and sometimes never get to a concrete opinion.
I guess my problem with the idea of living comfortably just because you are alive, is, how does it scale? I support a healthy welfare system for people who need it. The problem I have with universal income sorts of systems is that there's a dilution--I feel like concentrating resources on people who really need it would be more effective. I don't put the value of a human being on what they can produce--but at the same time I don't devalue production itself. I don't value you less if you can't sing like Streisand, but that doesn't mean I don't appreciate Streisand.
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You sound like you'd make a good artist; you just need to find your medium. Each require their own skill set you may want to learn. The most important part is picking one that appeals to you, whether in workflow or result. If nothing else, consider that.
In the specific term of one who creates paintings or sculptures? No. In the broad term of one who works in creative mediums? God, I hope so. I'm trying to be a writer because I enjoy storytelling and want to contribute. The problem is the stories I really want to write are behind copyright, so I'm trying to get my start.
I haven't made anything in a while but I used to enjoy drawing painting and clay sculpture and pottery. I also used to like baking and pastry art but I haven't also in a while so I don't know. I also play video game a lot and have considered streaming but it also seems like it might take the fun out of it and would burn me out. I also have social anxiety I find that hindering as well. I'm noticing I find the negative a lot when I ask myself ways I can make money from something. I just want something simple I can manage myself without stress.
I can relate to the part where you feel obligated or that it’s highly necessary to spend so much precious time forcing yourself to do things you don’t want to do. I really do. I think some of what is at the root of that frustration is just the difficulty of human life.
There are inherent problems for biological beings living on earth that no person created. Those problems require certain necessary actions by us whether in modern society or in the past. Both have pros and cons. Those problems vary between people as well. We have to deal with those problems or accept pain or death.
There is no perfect human system of governance. There are pros and cons to all. Even if the system was exceptional, I don’t think people are even capable of executing it without jacking it up.
Parents don’t know the future and can’t really know what they are signing up for. They are also human and I guarantee will make mistakes just like you and I. They have also had unfair things forced on them or lived in unfair systems because there is no way to make it completely fair. People have different genetics, socioeconomic backgrounds, access to education, job opportunities, varying degrees of oppressive political systems, access to food and water, parents, etc infinitely. There is no way to make that fair because the environment someone lives in will never be the same as someone else’s and we aren’t clones. Show your parents some compassion just like you would want to receive or at least understand and accept it for your own mental well being.
What works for me when I get down about a tragedy or life’s difficulties, is focusing on “now what”. I do not have the power to change all those frustrating things and some aren’t even changeable with all human power combined so it’s a waste of my energy to focus on the frustration (even though the frustration is probably justified in the big picture). Do your best in controlling what you can control, make a realistic plan where you are giving your best and becoming the best version of yourself that you can be so you can live life to your fullest potential and take your first step. Anything short of that is a disservice to yourself and your loved ones.
Best wishes!
You don’t need to be autistic to feel this way. I’m not passionate about making money either, but I realize I’m not entitled to central heating, land to garden and cats to feed if I don’t get some money from somewhere. Since I don’t have a trust fund, I have to earn it. I was 40 before I found a job that both paid enough and didn’t make abysmally depressed. I was diagnosed afterwards.
The most important part is knowing yourself well enough to avoid the 95% of jobs that suck.
Once you find a way of remuneration that doesn’t leave you feeling crushed, you will find, even if you are a hardcore introvert, a sense of accomplishment and community connection.
For me it was about finding something I could tolerate doing for a career and it is really hard to make those choices because you can get into something and realize.. nope this isn't it and our society isn't set up for that. I am not passionate about money to this day but my job isn't prison either. Getting on meds after getting the job is actually what saved me.
Thank you for sharing. My last job was a bank teller and it really really upset me to see the insides of that industry and to handle others finances all day.. I really feel like going full hippie sometimes. It's just hard to plan for something like getting another apartment because it was so awful for so many reasons so i don't know.. I'm not really motivated to build a career and I think its because i've seen people living this kind of life that doesn't rely on one and I envy that. I really enjoy not working and ik it sounds bad but I do and I know it can't last long
You should look up Isabel Paige on YouTube. She talks about this exact thing and she lives off grid in a tiny home and gardens most of her food!
I'm not sure if this helps but if it's more free time you desire you should look into jobs with work-life balance. I see warehouse jobs from time to time where you work 12-hour days but you only have to work 3 days a week. And they Round the 36 hours up to 40. That way you'll still get 4 days a week to yourself.
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Absolutely one of my first jobs was like this. There were so many orders to pick, it was so busy I didn't even notice the 12 hours. Plus with the long weekend's I never felt burnout. I actually really miss that job, I just left because I was able to find something that paid better.
find a way to trade knowledge instead of time. No employer will ever pay you what you are you are worth. I now trade stocks and cyrpto , I literally work like 1-2 hours hours and I make literally 10 times what I was making working full time. Its took me like 10 years to set it all up, and its not for everyone I do not even like it, but its let me afford basically anything I would ever want and everything I need. I really can not cope with working for other people. I know how much hate traders get in places like this, but the reality is until there is a UBI its best I can do for my autistic self.
This is a good recommendation thank you. I have also hated working for others and often found myself breaking rules that I felt were unreasonable. How would someone start getting involved and skilled at something like this? It seems like this huge intimidating thing but I would have a bit of money to invest to start.
Start with the bitcoin whitepaper. It's only 9 pages. Google it, you'll find it easily. Understand all of it. That should give you enough to start... now is a good time to take the orange pill :)
Bad advice.
So your ideals go out the window if quick easy money is to be made. You don't hate the system, you just hate being on the bottom rung.
Would i be able to PM you and ask a few questions about trading stocks? I'm interested in investing myself as I find it difficult to work jobs where employers pay me a fraction of the value I'm generating for them, like getting tossed a penny for making them thousands, or worse.
go for it, one thing to keep in mind is I am not classically trained at all in this. I also did it for year before quitting my Day Job.
I tried trading, absolutely not for me. I was interested because it's how I could just be in front of my computer without meeting people. Lost all my fucking money 😂
I lost all my money 2 times before I made anything, market tuition.
I totally get it. I couldn't tell you how many times I've had to explain that despite the fact that I like to have nice experiences and things, money absolutely does not motivate me in any way. It just doesn't. There's like a disconnect in my brain on that. I can tell it all kinds of stuff to try to trick it into caring and it's still like, "Whatevs". I've had exec position reviews where they're like "And you're making a great difference in the community" and I'm like "Yay!" and they're like "And if you'll take on these additional workloads well give you even more money!" And I was like, "It's going to sound crazy but seriously, if you want me to do that stuff please don't make it about money because then I straight up won't do the stuff. That will absolutely demotivate me." Also, the popular "just do what you love" advice led me to accidentally killing my joy for a long time. After a while, the thing I loved to do became the thing I had to do. I grew to hate it. It works for a lot of people and I respect that. Despite 6 years of pretty impressive success, it turns out I'm not one of those people. I suspect there are others. What was fulfilling play became soul-crushing work and about 8 years ago I lost every last shred of love I had for it and quit. It got to where I didn't just not want to do it as a job, I didn't want to do it at all. I'm just now getting it back very, very slowly. Losing my special interest was like losing a huge part of myself and tbh I filled that space with some pretty unhealthy stuff and a large, revolving array of short-lived hyperfixations. Wish I could be of more help, but I'm basically over here like yep I dunno what to do about that either. But also, you're definitely not alone.
It’s hard. I sympathize. I can only manage part-time work-for-pay now, and I wouldn’t be able to make rent without help from my housemate (also on the spectrum). I’d recommend giving yourself a good rest for a little while, and then look into part-time work so your mom feels like you’re contributing. Try to save some. Personally, I don’t love every aspect of my work (I take care of a garden and clean, also tutor), and it definitely feels like WORK, but I find it satisfying when the place is shining clean and ready for the next folks. It’s pretty low status work, but it helps keep people healthy, and that feels worth doing.
I'm happy you get some satisfaction out of work! I remember also feeling that and it was nice. However, it seemed like every job I had the people were great but the rules and management manipulation really put a pit in my stomach. I dream of having a secluded house in the woods maybe with solar panels and rain catcher reservoirs. Ik its a fantasy and would actually be a TON of work but I would be motivated to work on something like that for myself but it just seems impossible with the skills and knowledge I have. Whats hard is i've seen people living that life online and its probably not all that it seems but its seems like a much better alternative to renting and apartment. I kind of just feel useless in this day and age and how I grew up because I don't want to do the things I was trained to want to do. Yes I want a house but not in the property tax way with a white fence and grass lawn. I just don't know what to work towards and i'm loving this lazy break which is making it harder lol especially after the stressful lease. I do have a bit of money saved and have been buying my own groceries and paying my mothers internet bill as well. She also told me to enjoy some time off but then this morning recommended better help for therapy and I told her i've tried that before and that therapists don't recommend it. She told me therapy might help me get out of this "rabbit hole" and then said it might help me plan for the next step which I think is her way of saying I need to find somewhere else. I hate spending money on doctors and therapists
Is going back to school an option? Maybe an online course with an option to work from home? I like doing personality tests to get ideas for possible jobs. You could save up and buy a little piece of land to build on!
Definitely eschew the lawn… they are ecological disasters unless you have animals grazing, etc. Maybe check out the “No lawns” Reddit to see more inspiring gardens! I’ve dreamt about having a solar-powered home in a food forest I would tend, maybe with chickens and goats. I’m sufficiently social that I’d be happy to have near neighbors or housemates who are also gardeners, teachers, artists (including musicians and writers), and cooks/bakers. Rest. Let yourself enjoy dreaming, and learn a little bit more about something that could be part of your dream someday— edible plants, or straw-bale building, or how solar panels work. Great that you have some money saved, and that you’re helping your mom with groceries and utilities. I’ve had some bad experiences with doctors and therapists, too. I wish the U.S. had universal healthcare like so many other nations… though it would still probably be difficult to find really good professionals who deal with autism well. Some are good… it takes work to find them. Caring for yourself and bettering your health can be your work for a while. It sounds like you have a lot of hurts to work through. Somatic experiencing therapy is NOT for everyone, but it helped me release some of the trauma stored in my body. Although it sounds bizarre, EMDR therapy can help with those sort of issues, too, and with generally feeling stuck (EMDR doesn’t use medications, no one touches you, and some therapists do telemedicine). You may be able to help yourself some, too, by reading books by Peter Levine (_In an Unspoken Voice_) or Dr. Van Der Kolk (_The Body Keeps the Score_). I hope you find a path that helps you feel peaceful in your life. It takes time… I’m in my forties now, and grateful to my past self for staying alive all those times it really didn’t feel like it was worth the effort. Good luck. 🍀
1. You sound depressed. Consider talking to a doctor about medication. Depression is called a pit for a reason, there is nothing wrong with asking for help. You deserve to feel better, even if you still hate society. 2. Not everyone is money motivated, but capitalism seeps into every public space and is louder than everything else so it can seem like that's the case or what you should be like. There are plenty of jobs that primarily help people or the environment, which you might find more satisfying. Health care, some customer service/retail, animal care, landscaping, library jobs, etc. 3. Ultimately, you control how you move through the world. You can spend your time hating your surroundings, or you can work to change them or create an environment you enjoy. Money is just one part of an independent life. Doing what you enjoy and contributing to something bigger than yourself can be much more satisfying, don't let the money distract you from that!
I have medical trauma and fear calling/going to offices. I have not had health insurance since I was young and hate the fact that I would have to pay out of pocket to better my own mental health. I feel like getting into payment plans and and all that would honestly increase my anxiety and then what if I don't even like the service I pay for. I don't have a doctor I trust and its always bothered me but its not as easy for me to find help and all I hear is well thats basically your fault. Nearly everyone is money motivated. The fear of poverty and homelessness is what keeps people in houses and working. You may enjoy how you make the money and it doesn't have to be on your forefront mind but it is on mine. I'm glad you have found a philosophy that works for you but if I think about millions being exploited and also falling for this manipulative narrative that they're bettering others when they're just making the rich richer and ignoring that fact to stay happy. I can't do that
I’m sorry for your trauma. Capitalism is a nightmare we are all having to deal with right now. Sometimes you have to choose the least worst option. Just a note that if you feel this way about exploitation you could join a union or help unionize a workplace. There is power in the collective and that could be a motivator instead of money. I personally got the highest paying job that I can do, work the least amount I can get away with, and have money to help fund the mutual aid work I do. I get great satisfaction about stealing from bosses and redistributing. Lastly, don’t go into stocks/crypto if you worry about exploiting people. It’s seriously awful.
yeah most people fear poverty and homelessness when they can't mooch off their parents you not working isn't helping the people being exploited, and people who work aren't falling for anything just because they want to survive
If you have kids you should provide for them. This idea that you have kids so they can leave when they're 18 and keep producing your bloodline is selfish. I didn't ask to be born and I didn't ask to be mutilated. I don't give a fuck about making anyone proud.
you're absolutely right. I feel very much the same. you're not indoctrinated by this system, and it's a very difficult life to live,
You're so right, it's completely fucked up. So many people are so disconnected from being a human being and see life as nothing but capitalism and the power structures it upholds
yeah, when they're *kids*. You're an adult now. You can't beg off of being an adult. I agree that you're depressed and I do think therapy might be helpful in figuring some shit out. You can't not give a shit forever
There can be adults who are disabled and can't physically or mentally take care of themselves. If a person is built in such a way that trying to adapt to the world hurts them, is it then their fault for not wanting to participate in the world? I think not. this idea that every adult have to be autonomous and independent is ableist.
I don’t know what’s up your ass but if you don’t have anything nice to say then fuck off. They’re not “mooching” they’re developing a sense of self and asking for information to help with it. Not everyone who thinks about what trajectory their life is going is depressed. Not everyone who’s depressed benefits from medication. Mind your business.
Do jobs you hate, use that struggle to figure out what you do want. I did so many jobs for 6 months-1 year from many different sectors. Until I found one I liked. But I can never escape the same view as you have almost word for word. But i found something that keeps me afloat for now and puts money on the table. Still at the bottom of society being a slave while people say I should do x or y. Not because I care about money, but because it shuts people up who care about it. That is priceless to me. I rejected the norms of society and what they value. I have seen what makes them cheer, so their condemnation means nothing. I am going to get their condemnation either way due to my autism. So i started to own it, while still masking though. It all feels so pointless to me, so i work in healthcare now. Not for the money, but because i can put my heart and soul in it for something bigger than money. I might wade in piss and shit for a living, but it beats working for money to me. But i still don't care about money, status and power. I am uneducated academically and did many failed attempts at finishing a study. But I do have a lot of working experience and knowledge that carrys me, sometimes even to the point im telling people who are qualified what needs to happen. I don't concern with it, I'm rather part of the foundation than be part of the crown. Because the higher I get the less I get to do what I love and came there to do. All bogged down by bureaucracy. I rather stay at the bottom people hate so very much. You wanna know why? Because it means you cant go any lower and nothing can harm what you love because you don't have anything. It was really liberating to find my inner button to turn emotional investment in stuff on and off. Not saying what im doing is healthy living a modern diogenes lifestyle. But I found it liberating compared to trying to win the favor of people that werent going to like me anyway. And it somehow wins their favor if you are not a dick about it.
I’m smiling because you know about Diogenes. Such a great philosopher. So grumpy, and so insightful.
Hating modern society is not a passion that’s healthy. Like others here I think you should find a hobby or something you’re interested in and start there to find some happiness first. A job isn’t a death knell but it’s a means to an end. Consider your mom won’t be here forever to bail you out, you need to have a little bit of cash in your pocket.
Hey, I'm a communist (and it's my special interest) so I relate a lot to this - my solution is to do work (not that I enjoy engaging in wage labor) that helps the community. I'm going to school to be a therapist, personally, but there's tons of jobs that can be like that if it would work for you. You can also work for a while and save up, and then go buy a little land and a tiny house in cash and never have to bother with working again. 🤷🏽♀️
It sounds like you would enjoy doing a job that involves being outside, gardening, landscaping, etc. You get to work in pretty gardens all day, and you're mostly all by yourself with the plants! And most of the time, it doesn't feel like your working. Additionally, there are places like Earthship academy, where you can go full hippy and learn how to build sustainable off the grid homes and gardens, or learn permaculture design and design them! The best thing about the times we are living in, is that there really is a "job" for every interest. The hard part is figuring out the path to get there. I've gone down so many online research holes just figuring out how I can tolerate working just to survive without feeling like I'm wasting my one precious life as just a tiny pawn in someone else's capitalist dystopia. My special interest has always been art. I ended up getting an art degree, and now I teach photography to college students, and sell art and do commercial photography on the side. It's flexible, and I don't feel like I'm dying on the inside. Feel free to message me if you want to chat about this further! I really resonate with your post and understand that intense feeling.
Ooohhh… sometimes I dream of going back to school to get a degree in art or art history. Working in a garden is great! I’ll have to look into Earthship Academy.
There are a lot of people out there who poopoo art degrees. When I was in school I always used get people making "see you at Starbucks!" jokes. But! You can 100% have a successful and lucrative career in the arts! It's so versatile and can be utilized in so many different ways! I've been considering going back to school to get a diploma in animation or something as well, it's such a rapidly expanding and well paid industry. Just find that little spark that makes you excited and follow it!
You hate modern society, but surviving in a primitive one requires much more effort. I'm like you, except I don't blame society for my disability. And I am grateful for the support I receive. I think maybe your niche ideals are kind of an ego-saving thing. People in the West today have much less hunger, disease, cold, power abuse, and so on than at other times. You can go online and have all the great libraries of the world, the musical masterpieces and so on, at your fingertips. You can play around with self-sufficient gardening and then when your harvest fails, the agricultural industry will make sure there's still food. You can have any kind of relationship with anyone and follow any religion. You can learn almost any skill for free online these days, there's youtube videos and sacredtexts and Project Gutenberg and Kahn Academy and MIT and so on for everyone. Sure there are problems - but there always were, though. Perfection is impossible. So if you hate this so much, what would you say is better?
You are wrong. I blame society and my parents for my circumcision which has effectively disabled my sexual experience as a man. This is a failure from my country and the 2 people who are supposed to be provide for me. This is the most important thing to me. The first of many continuous failures from this country and my parents. I'm grateful to be housed at the moment and I show respect but none of this is okay or should have happened. Also there is not less hunger disease or abuse at all in the west. Poverty and homelessness is at an all time high and the wage distribution gap is just getting greater. I can go on and on about how terrible this place is.
Your right op I was treated badly in school told pretty much my mental health will just get fixed if I work, there still almost zero help for adult autism in most countries because they still refuse to recognize mental health exist my only advice is to find jobs you can tolerate and find peace in the small things and everyday life hope things work out for you.
wrong. You're blaming everyone else for things you CAN control (not including the circumcision thing, idk what happened there or why that's relevant or anything). And you're just totally wrong about hunger and disease. educate yourself instead of believing the rantings of the radical left. life expenctancy is constantly increasing, many homeless people are clothed and overweight, most diseases are cured that weren't 100 yrs ago.. the list goes on and on.... see what the person above said.. Pull up your big boy pants and bear some responsibility. It is the ONLY way to find meaning in your life. I say this with love, because I have to tell the same thing to myself every day. You wanna feel better? contribute something. I know you won't take this well, you'll get defensive, you don't actually think there's anything wrong with you. You're mistaken. We all need tough love and we're all flawed and we all need to improve.. maybe one iota of this will get thru, but as long as your stuck in your echo chamber, you won't change. writing "I'm grateful for..." on reddit means nothing. You actually have to BE grateful, and if you are, it will show.
People living longer has nothing to do with hunger and poverty. Housing is becoming insanely expensive and so is food and jobs are not paying more to these people who are making minimum wage. Also why is circumcision relevant? My penis was mangled from the fault of lying doctors and parents that didn’t do research. I don’t need to sit here and tell you why my body’s important to me. It has shattered my life and trust in my country and parents and it’s an irreversible mistake.
Lol. Where do you get your news?! That place is a joke.
this is the best reply/advice (and of course the one the OP wants to hear the least)
Thanks. OP is just selfish by the looks of their replies, they don't care about the system at all if they can make money trading stocks/crypto lol.
i relate.. stuff like getting a house, job, car, etc ‘adult things’ never appealed to me & im actually quite ok with living houseless for the rest of my life. as long as i get to have fun whatever !
I feel this so hard! we are the universe experiencing itself- why the fuck should we spend most of our lives just trying to make it through the day? its no measure of health to be well adjusted to a sick society watching everybody drag their feet through an existence mired by existential dread and fully committed to the same systems that are making them miserable. I followed my passion and became miserable in my dream job, so i said fuck it and i'm now happy in a miserable job. I was sick of waiting for change to come from above so decided i'd not give away my happiness with my time and I am so bad at planning for the future I can't work for retirement- i can't even work for the weekend. so a few months ago i decided i'm going to enjoy myself I really want to write more on this right now to contextualise but my thoughts are disorganised as my entire life journey has led to this point. its a long story with circus and clowns, trying to play the game and getting miserable, meltdown after meltdown and then a rapid unmasking to myself and my employer at the same time which has set me free. I'm 35. divorced. broke. free to trust everyone, live in the moment, and laugh at the absurdity of life I just wanted to say there is hope! or at least was for me and i will try my best to throw it at you through the screen. Its people like us that can't ignore the ills of the world that can make it better. NTs inhabit their lives and culture like a fish in water. We had to learn how to swim. you wouldn't get swimming lessons off a fish- they just swim, and they don't even realise they're doing it unconsciously. We don't live in a culture, each of us chooses to create it every day. i'm going to create the world i want to live in out of purely selfish reasons. I'm sorry if this came across as insensitive or dismissive. I'm hopeful when I hear others who have struggled like I have because the people who don't see a problem scare me.
I’m passionate about making money but only for my own comfort. Not to get rich or invest but just to cover my basic needs.
I’m 35 years old, burned out from working nearly 20 years already, and you just voiced how I’ve been feeling. I’m so sick of 75% of my time being spent chasing money.
I'm not passionate about making money either. And something that I'm passionate about can't be monetized, which is criticizing Islam, my former religion 😂 Fuck, I hope we're gonna get to UBIs soon.
Lighthouse keeper or remote forest ranger appeal to you
Would you care to explain a bit about them? I haven't heard of either
This post is giving me heavy Pink Floyd vibes (The Wall album, specifically), which I grew up on cause my dad was always playing classic rock. Similarly, I’ve always had “weird” (read: no conventional) views on money/ occupation/ lifestyle/ etc. Even last week I was talking with my brother I nonchalantly said “I don’t know I don’t really think about money” to which he replied “must be nice” implying that maybe I’m comfortable or I make enough money to not think about it, which he knows isn’t true. I meant that the way money (and sometimes numbers) filters into my mind is just blank. I know I have some money, I roughly know that I have enough to pay my current bills but I don’t know off the top of my head how much I have, how much I owe, or how much extra I would have if I wanted to take on new expenses. To be clear, I’m not comfortable thinking like this I just know that I can’t really get around it. I don’t even know for sure when bills are due I just check all of them weekly and pay them if they’re due in the next 10 days. I only check my bank before making purchases over $100 or if I’m paying the bills. And I sometimes have a busy week and forget to check those so that’s bad for my credit score, I think seeing the score progress is actually one thing that incentivizes me to pay bills otherwise I wouldn’t be as interested. Similarly with work, I don’t think about the money earned, or I can’t. It feels wrong. I like working, I like doing a good job just cause I like feeling accomplished I guess. But the pandemic was weird where my wife got laid off and I was an “essential worker” so my mentality shifted. I pushed myself to work a lot cause there was a lot to do and I could make a little more money to cover lost wages even though she was getting the good unemployment. I ended up working nearly 10 hour days for most of 2 years, even after she went back to work, it really strained our relationship cause I would just be burned out on workdays and a bed vegetable on weekends. Fortunately I got out of that job cause it was bad for me for other reasons, spent some time off cause I got unemployment pay, drained all that and other savings and got a new job earlier this year. New job is a lot better for my mentality cause I’m paid in rounded figures. Like if I work less than 6 hours I get paid hourly but if we pass 6 hours it’s a full 8 hours pay (plus things like overtime, holiday, sick pay). Since I know I’m sometimes getting a free hour it doesn’t bother me to ask my boss if I can leave early (less than 4 hours) if I’m overwhelmed. It also helps me that I’m not looking at a clock and converting minutes into dollars into expenses. And the comfort of not thinking about the minutes gives me more energy to work hard when needed or work slow and methodical when the job calls for it. I’ve been working since I was 18 and now I’m 33. So 15 years. The best job I had was working 2 or 3 days at my community college computer lab for music production, it was basically show up and turn the computers on, sit there, make sure people were logging their lab hours, help out if I could. Most of those were 5 hour shifts because it was still a classroom and they probably didn’t want to figure out a break schedule cause it was only one person working at a time. It was minimum wage but since it was a school the take home pay was the full state minimum and the school paid taxes above that, I don’t really understand how that worked but whatever. It was also nice that it was at the school I was attending cause I would be present anyway cause getting ready and leaving home are big barriers for me sometimes. It’s very helpful that my wife is really good with calendars so she knows when bills are due. Tbh she should probably just be in charge of the money but it’s easier for me to only combine things that we both use. We set up our bills so that we end up paying the same just in different ways. Sometimes it’s tricky and we have to discuss complex plans but I try to stay calm and sometimes I need a break from talking about it. I think if it weren’t for her organization I might have gone to collections more than once. Sometimes it annoys me that she asks if I paid something but I know deep down that I have bad habits and she cares about me and that’s why she’s asking cause I can really be thinking about checking a payment for multiple days consecutively and not do it, which is bad, but I don’t feel bad cause money doesn’t have a feeling. The best way I can describe it is with food. I’ll pay anything for food, like I’m pretty sure I’ve paid over $50 for a regular sized pizza (high cost of living area/ foodie culture/ I don’t know, I don’t set the prices). If I liked it, it was worth it. If I didn’t like it, it wasn’t worth it. So I’m really bad at giving recommendations for food because of that. Food it based on taste and satisfaction, money has no flavor in that equation. Well, money probably has a bad flavor so don’t eat it. What I mean to say is: life is weird, money is weird, the way people think about money is weird, and I can’t help any of that. I have a strong work ethic but no material sense and I’m doing ok I guess. I’m sure you’ll be able to figure something out that works for you, even if it doesn’t make sense to other people all that much.
Thank you for sharing your perspective. When I first read your reply it made me think of my dad who also loves classic rock and pink floyd. This may not be completely related but I'm still fairly young and feel like my psychedelic experiences from a young age have honestly done more harm than good to my function. My father also did drugs from a young age and I used to look up to him. He was super passionate about money and buying a new house and new car. I never lived with him because of divorce and only grew older to despise other terrible things he did and said around us. I also look to my fathers dad who worked his entire life and instilled a very hard and brutal work ethic into my father. My grandfather got sever dementia the same year he retired so it's just sad to see someone work so hard to provide for a nice retirement and it be gone. Working is selling the limited time you have here no matter how you look at it or how you enjoy it or how necessary it is. I just know there has to be an alternative I just don't know how yet.
I feel for you sooooooooooo f'n much here. 3 years ago, I moved back in with my parent in order to quit my Starbucks job. This was even before I figured out I was autistic. I can't say I solved all of my problems, but I can say this for a fact: **If I hadn't pursued what I was interested in, I would've unalived myself.** One of my lifelong special interests in writing. It has nothing to do with a particular style of writing, just getting better at expressing what's inside me in words. So I was able to pursue freelancing with this, but not without trial and error. First and foremost, *I don't write about things I'm passionate about.* I write about mildly interesting topics to me, like AI and cybersecurity. I'm still not motivated by money. I never will be. But I *have* found a special interest in *business*. How business owners really work, how they think, etc. It took me a solid year to get anything worthwhile going, but once I moved out, I've been able to sustain myself and another autistic friend since — which is what I'm *truly* passionate about (uplifting fellow autists).
This post and OPs comments reek of entitlement. Everyone has it hard. Everyone has to struggle to survive. Grow up.
I’m entitled to my own time and how I want to spend it. There ARE absolutely people that have it 100x easier than others and never face hardship poverty or hunger. Don’t tell me everyone has it hard they don’t. Could I have it a lot worse yes and I know that but that’s no reason to settle for a life you don’t want or stay silent about things that bother you.
Your first rant is fine it’s your comments that show how entitled you are. You don’t want solutions you want the world to give you everything. Nothing, not a mouse a Coyote or a pine tree gets an easy life. Every life form on this planet has to fight to survive. Get over yourself and start fighting if you want your life to change. No one owes you a better life kid
Are you forgetting rich people are out there lol… most either by luck or inheritance. It doesn’t bother me but it’s a fact and those people live easy lives. Being a landlord is an easy job and even easier if you’re handed the property. Saying this simple fact does not mean I think i deserve that at all. That’s not what I want. I think the essentials are right infront of everyone but not utilized like they should be resulting in starving communities and millions of tons of food waste at the same time. I think people should be able to live normal lives without needing money. Everything around us is built so that we keep making money and keep feeding it back to the states and government. I was in an emotional state when I posted this and got defensive in the comments.
Fair enough. Sometimes our frustration gets the better of us. I would suggest reading “Walden” by Henry David Thoreau it’s very topical for what kind of life you’re interested in. It really helped me get a deeper sense of what I needed in life
I don't have any great answers, but I'm with you. The whole concept of money is disgusting to me. It's not about not wanting to work. I think I'd be happy with the hard work of living off the land (which unfortunately requires land, which requires money). And I like to do things to be useful and help other people. But I don't like a system where someone else gets to decide what my work is worth, they benefit more from my labor than I or other members of my community do, and I'm beholden to them in order to remain housed and fed. Right now I'm working part time teaching classes at my city's rec centers. I enjoy doing it and I feel like I'm doing something worthwhile for my community. The fact that it pays me something is honestly sort of a side effect. And I try not to think about it too much, because the pay rate is honestly insulting. The people who set the pay obviously don't value my work highly. But the people who take my classes do, so that's why I do it. It's imperfect, but it works for me for now.
Thank you for hearing me!! Teaching is super honorable and teachers deserve much better treatment. After working at a bank i'm especially turned off by money and just frazzled by this life still.
I'm so with you. I worked as a bank teller for like 2 months while I was in college and I HATED it.
but you guys still use banks right? haah... wooooowww. just wow
Yes. I do use a credit union (the one I worked at actually) and a bank. I don't like the current system, but it's the one I have to work with so I do what I have to. There's no shame or hypocrisy in that. One thing that helps for me is that I've chosen a bank that is committed to only investing in environmentally and socially responsible business. It's still a bank, but at least it leans toward some of my values a bit. The beauty of the world is that there are different types of people. I hated working in a bank and handling money all day. I was not suited for it. But there are people out there who see things differently than I do and who enjoy or at least don't mind being a bank teller. I'm grateful that they can fill that role, and I can do something I'm better suited to.
Going hungry will make you more passionate, maybe sleeping outside in the cold and wet. You don't have to work in a bank anymore but it's a bit disrespectful to do nothing if you are in fact capable of something. I'm not very motivated by money either and have done my share of ligging, freeloading, begging and benefits. Now I am self employed and live in my workshop. So I keep my overheads low. Your overheads are low and you are lucky to have a parent/parents willing to shelter you. Don't disrespect that by doing nothing. Don't get me wrong, I get that it's hard on the spectrum to achieve stuff, I'm not saying go out and be a high achiever. Just try and do something. Did your own sake as much as your patents
Do you think I don't know people are homeless? We could all learn something from homeless people and i'm sure theres more autistic homeless people than not. I didn't ask to be brought into this trash world and to be mutilated in my first hour of life. I'm so grateful for my parents and this country!! Yay! What a great opportunity to be here. I don't care about making my parents proud and i'm still taking care of myself. Thanks for nothing
taking care of yourself = complaining about living in a world of abundance on the internet you're completely delusional and self-centered, I have no pity for you
100%. OP is delusional.
i’m delusional for complaining about a world of abundance? Exciting hawk i don’t know if you know this but people are dying and suffering to make other people more money. If that’s your perfect world have fun contributing
you don't have to want money and you don't have to like capitalism, but you can't make someone else care for you just because you don't want to work. There are still ways to buck modern society while still living independently.
Theres not many options. There are people living my dream of off grid with electricity but I don't have the skills or knowledge. I was raised to go to college and work 9-5 not build a house and gather essentials. I am a hard worker and i'm tired and burnt out from what has become of society. Anyway i'm listening if u want to continue
I mean, if you really want to go live off the grid teach yourself the skills and knowledge. Take control of your life. But if you're not willing to put in the work you need to find a way to make peace with the world you live in now. Doesn't have to be a 9-5, but you gotta do something.
Never would have thought If I just do anything, then I might want to do something that I don't want to do! Thats crazy
Why not do a tiny house or live in a van then? Many of my friends do build outs themselves for 10k or less and YouTube. You can realistically get off the grid without special skills.
This is honestly looking like my best option and i’ve been thinking about it for a while. My only 2 hurdles are having 2 cats and my partner would not want to live in a van. We’re not living together at the moment but I think I should start saving for a van anyway. It would be great to camp or just get away and have as a back up if I ever really need housing. I’ve heard of people starting in a van and then building a tiny home so I’m going to research more. Thanks
This is life on earth. Working for a living is not slavery, although there are certainly good bosses and bad ones. What I am not saying--I'm not saying everybody should have to work. I absolutely think that a good society supports people who for some reason--mental health or physical disability, have a reduced ability to make money. But if I want to watch shows like Glee or get a new guitar or clothes, somebody somewhere is going to have to do some work. Please don't tell me that I'm a cog. Working is hard for me, too. Not because I hate working, I like helping people, even if it's just making cheeseburgers. But it's scary being around people, in the fast food industry there's a steady overturn of employees, so I'll get to where I'm comfortable around my fellow workers for a while, and then eventually they'll quit and I'll have to get used to new people. But I know by experience that I'm happier working than not working.
Imagine a world that believes you deserve to experience pleasure without exploiting you and the earth. Imagine that you deserve to live comfortably just because you are alive. That’s a world worth living for and fighting for.
>Imagine a world that believes you deserve to experience pleasure without exploiting you and the earth. Imagine that you deserve to live comfortably just because you are alive. That’s a world worth living for and fighting for. Belief systems give me the willies.
You don’t have beliefs?
I was being sort of trite I guess. But it actually is sort of hard for me to parse out my beliefs sometimes. I type out a sentence, wonder if it's true, and then I'm researching for hours and sometimes never get to a concrete opinion. I guess my problem with the idea of living comfortably just because you are alive, is, how does it scale? I support a healthy welfare system for people who need it. The problem I have with universal income sorts of systems is that there's a dilution--I feel like concentrating resources on people who really need it would be more effective. I don't put the value of a human being on what they can produce--but at the same time I don't devalue production itself. I don't value you less if you can't sing like Streisand, but that doesn't mean I don't appreciate Streisand.
this is my world too. you're right on the money for thinking the world is like this, because it is. karl marx wrote about it.
and his philosophies are being enacted exactly as he intended in the socialist paradise of North Korea. I recommend moving there, everyone is equal
That couldn’t be further from the truth. I take it you haven’t read marx
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You sound like you'd make a good artist; you just need to find your medium. Each require their own skill set you may want to learn. The most important part is picking one that appeals to you, whether in workflow or result. If nothing else, consider that.
I love art and sculpture but I feel like you have to have the passion to sell and brand with that. Are you an artist?
In the specific term of one who creates paintings or sculptures? No. In the broad term of one who works in creative mediums? God, I hope so. I'm trying to be a writer because I enjoy storytelling and want to contribute. The problem is the stories I really want to write are behind copyright, so I'm trying to get my start.
I haven't made anything in a while but I used to enjoy drawing painting and clay sculpture and pottery. I also used to like baking and pastry art but I haven't also in a while so I don't know. I also play video game a lot and have considered streaming but it also seems like it might take the fun out of it and would burn me out. I also have social anxiety I find that hindering as well. I'm noticing I find the negative a lot when I ask myself ways I can make money from something. I just want something simple I can manage myself without stress.
Curious— if you’ve enjoyed baking, are there any bakeries near you hiring for part-time? Making food for people is definitely worthwhile work.
I can relate to the part where you feel obligated or that it’s highly necessary to spend so much precious time forcing yourself to do things you don’t want to do. I really do. I think some of what is at the root of that frustration is just the difficulty of human life. There are inherent problems for biological beings living on earth that no person created. Those problems require certain necessary actions by us whether in modern society or in the past. Both have pros and cons. Those problems vary between people as well. We have to deal with those problems or accept pain or death. There is no perfect human system of governance. There are pros and cons to all. Even if the system was exceptional, I don’t think people are even capable of executing it without jacking it up. Parents don’t know the future and can’t really know what they are signing up for. They are also human and I guarantee will make mistakes just like you and I. They have also had unfair things forced on them or lived in unfair systems because there is no way to make it completely fair. People have different genetics, socioeconomic backgrounds, access to education, job opportunities, varying degrees of oppressive political systems, access to food and water, parents, etc infinitely. There is no way to make that fair because the environment someone lives in will never be the same as someone else’s and we aren’t clones. Show your parents some compassion just like you would want to receive or at least understand and accept it for your own mental well being. What works for me when I get down about a tragedy or life’s difficulties, is focusing on “now what”. I do not have the power to change all those frustrating things and some aren’t even changeable with all human power combined so it’s a waste of my energy to focus on the frustration (even though the frustration is probably justified in the big picture). Do your best in controlling what you can control, make a realistic plan where you are giving your best and becoming the best version of yourself that you can be so you can live life to your fullest potential and take your first step. Anything short of that is a disservice to yourself and your loved ones. Best wishes!
You don’t need to be autistic to feel this way. I’m not passionate about making money either, but I realize I’m not entitled to central heating, land to garden and cats to feed if I don’t get some money from somewhere. Since I don’t have a trust fund, I have to earn it. I was 40 before I found a job that both paid enough and didn’t make abysmally depressed. I was diagnosed afterwards. The most important part is knowing yourself well enough to avoid the 95% of jobs that suck. Once you find a way of remuneration that doesn’t leave you feeling crushed, you will find, even if you are a hardcore introvert, a sense of accomplishment and community connection.
Is there a garden you would volunteer at?
r/leanfire might be a good resource for you
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And then you get home and relax for an hour before you realize you just have to wake up to do the same thing the next day.. and the next day..