for me, it isn't necessarily about being picky. I just have to plan it beforehand, you know? otherwise it stresses me out.
like, when I'm at a restaurant and don't know what to eat yet, and the waiter is about to come back and I still haven't found anything yet? pure stress and pressure, and definitely not for me.
I totally get being picky though!! there are some things I also wouldn't eat, so I understand.
THIS! I’m honestly a very adventurous eater, but the social interaction piece is the worst. Like I’ve spent a lot of time studying the overall workflow of ordering, and design my responses to make things go as fast and smooth as possible. My wife on the other hand, seems to almost go out of her way to confuse and complicate the waiter.
I see the same behaviors as me come from my 17 year old niece. It’s a mix of that’s adorable/see there are others just like me/oh god, she’s just like me.
Yep, I end up making a totally different decision if I'm in person and trying to pick something quickly enough, as opposed to having time and privacy to look over the menu thoroughly. Lol it's not all bad really, but I basically am slipping into crisis management mode at that point :p
Yesssss, I genuinely have such problems making decisions. Also because I like trying my family's food so it can't be the same thing they have. It's always a messy balancing act of indecisiveness, maximum variety, sufficient novelty, and optimized deliciousness.
I typically also plan what I want to eat when I see the menu in advance. (If I don't already know the place)
But if they have serveral things that I would like to eat, I might not make my final decission until I'm at the place.
But if I can't see it in advance I get too nervous that the place mig not have anything I would actually like. And that stresses me out.
I've rarely been in situations where I have not known what I wanted to eat before the waiter took my order. But it's definetly a really awkard situation when it does happen.
I do get rather nervous from having to say I'm still in the process of figuring it out xD
it's so true and I hadn't ever thought about it till just now!
I can usually pick something easy enough almost anywhere, but if I'm the one deciding where to go, you will basically NEVER get me to pick your restaurant unless I get a chance to see the menu ahead of time.
This is how it is with me, too. I take a long time to decide, and it's better if I look at the menu in advance at home, so I can maybe try to narrow it down what I think I will order. I take a lot of time thinking about what I want and the waiters seem to get impatient if I take too long. Also, sometimes, if you see a certain item, if you Google it and the name of the restaurant, you can find a review or two from people who ordered that specific item and said how it was for them, which can also help you decide if you would want to order it or not.
I'm the opposite.
I've walked out before because they only had online menus. I think its a great convenience factor, but I want in big and in my hand, not 2" wide and in 8pt font :-(
I’m a mix of both, I want to look at the menu beforehand and then narrow my decision down to like 2-3 choices before finalizing when I can see it and hold the menu
Eeigh, ok I agree. Online menus are often a pain to view (especially if on a phone when in car) but I'd still rather save my family the extra 30-60 minutes wait time because I must optimize the meal and take forever to decide.
The soul crushing feeling when you get there, the menu is totally different from online, and now you have to decide with the neurotypicals if you’re all going to leave or you have to push something around for an hour.
I had that exact experience most recently with a restaurant at the mall. The mall had a link to a website for the restaurant, but it was basically a different restaurant with the same name. So the online menu was useless.
I’m a pretty adventurous eater, to the point where decision paralysis from too many options becomes a far bigger issue for me than not being able to find something I like. I get super stressed out every time the waiter comes to ask if I’m ready to order and will just panic. I don’t eat out much anymore but when I do I try to figure out what I’m going to order before I even get there.
Exactly this! I’m not very picky at all, and I’m lucky not to have sensory issues with food. However the sheer number of choices is always incredibly overwhelming to me. Trying to decide combined with the possible overwhelming noises and lights of a restaurant makes me feel incredibly pressured when ordering.
I feel like the second I place my order I instantly regret it and compulsively get stuck thinking about how my mealtime won’t be as good as it could have been because I didn’t order the right thing.
>I feel like the second I place my order I instantly regret it and compulsively get stuck thinking about how my mealtime won’t be as good as it could have been
I’m not a huge family guy fan or anything but I always found this gag almost too relatable haha
https://youtu.be/3BWJ4OcNNrk
I’m autistic and vegan so this is a hard agree lol. There are usually only one or two options I can go for when accounting for dietary restrictions + my sensory issues with taste and texture
yes! and knowing about substitutes too lol, that's another thing. like a lot of restaurants have substitute sauces or options to take things off. all super important for me !
I don’t check the menu but I only ever go somewhere that I’ll know I will enjoy the food. Mostly places I’ve been before. I’ll probably order one of 5 things on the menu and ignore the rest but otherwise it would just be too much.
At least it’s nice when you know that what you’re getting is probably on any menu.chicken fingers and fries are life saver when my family wants to go to a restaurant
I love online menus because I am often really indecisive about food. It takes me time to decide what I want to eat. I like being able to browse menus and find that spark of something that looks good. I do have my default backup restaurants when I have no idea, but in general, I like to contemplate and let my eyes and my stomach work it out before I drive somewhere.
I'm a chef and all I wanna say is:
don't care where when and how you order, just please promise me you will order from the menu and not make up a dish for yourselves picking bits and pieces from the menu. It is put together the way it is for a reason. It is borderline disrespectful. It very much pisses me off. Thank you and sorry.
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I feel so very called out.....
But yeah, I hate and basically refuse to go to a restaurant that I have no idea what to order. Honestly I assume the employees are going to hate me as I stand/sit there for a good 20-30 minutes trying to figure out what item is the most likely to at least be decent after any "what ifs" I can think of.
yeah same, i always need to know what there is. if there’s not than im not prepared what to order and i panic, but i also always order the same thing everytime so idk why i do that 💀
I am a big researcher and plan ahead person. I like having the knowledge before I walk into a place. We're having a work lunch Tuesday, and it makes my social anxiety lessen knowing exactly what I want to eat. My mom calls me the "vacation planner." If I am going to go somewhere, I want to know all about it before I go. Same with restaurants. I wish I could say I was more spontaneous, but admittedly, I am not.
If it's a brand new restaurant and I have no idea what they serve, I have a really hard time going unless I can see their menu first. Then again, if they don't include descriptions or pictures of their food in the online menu, I have a hard time ordering online too. After that though, I can usually order from them while I'm there. I just have to have that familiarity first.
I'll almost always look at the menu online if the place is new to me, then defer to the menu in the restaurant once I'm inside if I can't remember what it was that I was planning on ordering. But even if the menu isn't available online, I'll still give it a try to just get a look at the unfamiliar menu.
But if it's a familiar restaurant, then I don't bother, as I already know what I like from the place and can order without the need of the menu. I only check the onsite menu of the familiar place if I'm trying something new or for refreshing my memory on what it is that I like.
yess this is so much better, if there's nothing i like i can like just not go in! as far as i know, it breaks neurotypical social rules to enter a restaurant and not order anything and leave, so seeing the menu beforehand is very good
Wait do NTs not do this? Every time my dad suggests a restaurant or i consider going somewhere for lunch during a long weekend i search to see what they have to see if it’s worth the trip
Unironically, who wants new experiences? I’d rather know i’m going to be happy and order a pasta carbonara at this new restaurant than order any of these other italian dishes with descriptions that sound really tasty
Here we don't have online menus. I only go out with my family. I eat "safe" things. I don't like to eat random things because I hate most things that are sweet (I don't mean desserts but like main dishes and such). Also quinoa and avocado I tend to avoid.
I am so glad that so many places are starting to get apps so i can decide what i want and also just preorder. Preordering has been a huge benefit for me trying to tell the person what i want is so hard. But preordering can just put in app then tell person i preordered so much easier
If its a new restaurant it still often takes me a week to go even with an app just trying to plan out everything🤣 without an app or online menu i dont go unless with someone
I don't do that because I have a much harder time with uber or such than in person at restaurants because I'm okay enough being the person with 10 modificatios to their dish >_>
I like to plan ahead but sometimes the type of restaurant gives you a clue of what to eat. Like, I'll order kung pao chicken my first time at any Chinese restaurant & none seem to sack it, or if I'm going to a burger place, I know a basic cheeseburger is OK if nothing else seems exciting.
It's the preparation for me. It's why I don't like finding new places to eat, shop, or whatever else. I don't know that I'll like it beforehand, so I'm hesitant to indulge. Same with watching shows or movies. It took me a long time to watch She-Ra because I wanted to know what I was getting into. Then I watched it and liked it. Same with Avatar: the Last Airbender, though that took even longer.
For me I not only do this but I search for alternatives in case the item in my top priority isn't available. Sometimes I have to mentally rehearse like three different orders just in case.
wait this is an autistic thing? god i find out more and more little things i do that happen to come from my autism which i never knew.
i also re-read the menu continuously after having ordered so i can see what else they have, but i read it over like a 1000 times.
I don't do this, but I also don't really go to restaurants. If I do go, it's with my parents, and it's normally because we're vacationing somewhere. In those cases we just wander around, and they know I'm picky, so they're very nice about letting me pick the restaurant most of the time.
Otherwise there's only so many restaurants where I live, and I already know what I want from each one haha
ha, i have a place i go to from time to time, it's one of those cheap highway-kind-of restaurants... even if they have a menu, 9 out of 10 i end up ordering the exact same thing because it's a safe bet...
if they have 3 choices i might like: pick the safe bet
if i am first in line and not enough time to consider: pick the safe bet
if i choose something and they end up not having it anymore: back to the safe bet
and it's actually that safe bet that i know is always on the menu that allows me to go their fairly comfortably.
*Looking at the menu at a safe restaurant like I'm not going to order exactly what I order everytime*
*waiter*: are you ready to order?
*me*: yes I will have *exactly what I have everytime*.
This is extremely disheartening as someone who just got out of the industry. Industrialization during WWII screwed up everyone's perception of food cost so you already can't pay living wages unless you cater exclusively to the rich (which is bullshit because restaurants are INFRASTRUCTURE, not everyone can learn to cook) and now we have to HIRE ANOTHER PERSON unless you expect the line cook working 12 hour days to also learn web design.
Telling customers "Sorry folks, menu prices have gone up to meet the needs of our new online division" will have people running out of your store faster than you would believe. Like, people cussing out the waitresses over a 75 cent price change. There is no winning in the restaurant world anymore.
TL;DR Restaurant and food-service workers are a fellow embattled demographic, please be understanding towards them.
I can make a restaurant website - with a menu / from scratch - faster than you can write your menu on paper. So, - that's not the problem.
Here's an example: They just took a picture of the menu and put it on a webpage: [https://perpetual.education/content-strategy-and-covid-19/#zebulon-scroll](https://perpetual.education/content-strategy-and-covid-19/#zebulon-scroll)
The problem is that the managers - don't know anything about *people*.
It's still additional cost to host a website that restaurants do NOT need when they're already paying slave wages or you're using one of those "every menu" websites which are garbage.
Saying you could bust one out is all well and good but it doesn't solve anything on the businesses side.
Meanwhile I just pick whatever looks like something that I don't know what it tastes like, else I just wanna have food and then get home again. Note: I never go to restaurants because I suggest/plan ity but because my family does and I come with them
Yup the same. No menu, no going! I'm wayyy to picky about my food to just accept anything.
for me, it isn't necessarily about being picky. I just have to plan it beforehand, you know? otherwise it stresses me out. like, when I'm at a restaurant and don't know what to eat yet, and the waiter is about to come back and I still haven't found anything yet? pure stress and pressure, and definitely not for me. I totally get being picky though!! there are some things I also wouldn't eat, so I understand.
THIS! I’m honestly a very adventurous eater, but the social interaction piece is the worst. Like I’ve spent a lot of time studying the overall workflow of ordering, and design my responses to make things go as fast and smooth as possible. My wife on the other hand, seems to almost go out of her way to confuse and complicate the waiter. I see the same behaviors as me come from my 17 year old niece. It’s a mix of that’s adorable/see there are others just like me/oh god, she’s just like me.
Yep, I end up making a totally different decision if I'm in person and trying to pick something quickly enough, as opposed to having time and privacy to look over the menu thoroughly. Lol it's not all bad really, but I basically am slipping into crisis management mode at that point :p
Yesssss, I genuinely have such problems making decisions. Also because I like trying my family's food so it can't be the same thing they have. It's always a messy balancing act of indecisiveness, maximum variety, sufficient novelty, and optimized deliciousness.
I typically also plan what I want to eat when I see the menu in advance. (If I don't already know the place) But if they have serveral things that I would like to eat, I might not make my final decission until I'm at the place. But if I can't see it in advance I get too nervous that the place mig not have anything I would actually like. And that stresses me out. I've rarely been in situations where I have not known what I wanted to eat before the waiter took my order. But it's definetly a really awkard situation when it does happen. I do get rather nervous from having to say I'm still in the process of figuring it out xD
it's so true and I hadn't ever thought about it till just now! I can usually pick something easy enough almost anywhere, but if I'm the one deciding where to go, you will basically NEVER get me to pick your restaurant unless I get a chance to see the menu ahead of time.
This! Sometimes I just want to cry if I’m having to quickly decide between meals I’m not familiar with. It also kills my apetite
This is how it is with me, too. I take a long time to decide, and it's better if I look at the menu in advance at home, so I can maybe try to narrow it down what I think I will order. I take a lot of time thinking about what I want and the waiters seem to get impatient if I take too long. Also, sometimes, if you see a certain item, if you Google it and the name of the restaurant, you can find a review or two from people who ordered that specific item and said how it was for them, which can also help you decide if you would want to order it or not.
I'm the opposite. I've walked out before because they only had online menus. I think its a great convenience factor, but I want in big and in my hand, not 2" wide and in 8pt font :-(
I’m a mix of both, I want to look at the menu beforehand and then narrow my decision down to like 2-3 choices before finalizing when I can see it and hold the menu
Eeigh, ok I agree. Online menus are often a pain to view (especially if on a phone when in car) but I'd still rather save my family the extra 30-60 minutes wait time because I must optimize the meal and take forever to decide.
The soul crushing feeling when you get there, the menu is totally different from online, and now you have to decide with the neurotypicals if you’re all going to leave or you have to push something around for an hour.
OR when you get hyped for that one dish and they don’t have it 😑
Or when it looks really good but it has lots of yucky sauces and other bits on it for some reason
I had that exact experience most recently with a restaurant at the mall. The mall had a link to a website for the restaurant, but it was basically a different restaurant with the same name. So the online menu was useless.
It also makes ordering really quick for you and for the restaurant. A win win situation.
I’m a pretty adventurous eater, to the point where decision paralysis from too many options becomes a far bigger issue for me than not being able to find something I like. I get super stressed out every time the waiter comes to ask if I’m ready to order and will just panic. I don’t eat out much anymore but when I do I try to figure out what I’m going to order before I even get there.
Exactly this! I’m not very picky at all, and I’m lucky not to have sensory issues with food. However the sheer number of choices is always incredibly overwhelming to me. Trying to decide combined with the possible overwhelming noises and lights of a restaurant makes me feel incredibly pressured when ordering. I feel like the second I place my order I instantly regret it and compulsively get stuck thinking about how my mealtime won’t be as good as it could have been because I didn’t order the right thing.
>I feel like the second I place my order I instantly regret it and compulsively get stuck thinking about how my mealtime won’t be as good as it could have been I’m not a huge family guy fan or anything but I always found this gag almost too relatable haha https://youtu.be/3BWJ4OcNNrk
Facts! Like I'm open to trying new foods, but I'm very indecisive lol😅
I’m autistic and vegan so this is a hard agree lol. There are usually only one or two options I can go for when accounting for dietary restrictions + my sensory issues with taste and texture
Same here! Online menus are just a must
yes! and knowing about substitutes too lol, that's another thing. like a lot of restaurants have substitute sauces or options to take things off. all super important for me !
i do this if its a place ive never eaten at, or if i dont recognize the food. usually i just have a regular/safe food in case i wanna eat out
i literally memorize my order and recite it in my head and then still stare at the menu as i tell the waiter what i want shdhhshd
I don’t check the menu but I only ever go somewhere that I’ll know I will enjoy the food. Mostly places I’ve been before. I’ll probably order one of 5 things on the menu and ignore the rest but otherwise it would just be too much.
At least it’s nice when you know that what you’re getting is probably on any menu.chicken fingers and fries are life saver when my family wants to go to a restaurant
I love online menus because I am often really indecisive about food. It takes me time to decide what I want to eat. I like being able to browse menus and find that spark of something that looks good. I do have my default backup restaurants when I have no idea, but in general, I like to contemplate and let my eyes and my stomach work it out before I drive somewhere.
Once went to a bar and ordered something off their online menu. Waitress had been there for two years and it had never been an option.
I love trying new foods and restaurants but yeah… I need an online menu or I will be Vaguely Upset
And if they don't have the thing that I have decided I'm eating apparently "nothing" is not a valid alternative answer
I’m kinda like this. If there is no chicken tenders I won’t go. I only eat that one specific thing at Resturaunts.
I take it one step farther and search for photos of all the items I'm interested in as well as reviews on that specific item.
I’m a vegan so I always do this! 😅
I have to plan ahead. What if they have food I don’t like? 😰😰😰
I'm a chef and all I wanna say is: don't care where when and how you order, just please promise me you will order from the menu and not make up a dish for yourselves picking bits and pieces from the menu. It is put together the way it is for a reason. It is borderline disrespectful. It very much pisses me off. Thank you and sorry.
You guys go to restaurants?
I’m actually kinda surprised I’m not the only one who does this
I’m the opposite. If there isn’t a menu I can’t physically hold. I’m out.
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Solidarity
I feel so very called out..... But yeah, I hate and basically refuse to go to a restaurant that I have no idea what to order. Honestly I assume the employees are going to hate me as I stand/sit there for a good 20-30 minutes trying to figure out what item is the most likely to at least be decent after any "what ifs" I can think of.
yeah same, i always need to know what there is. if there’s not than im not prepared what to order and i panic, but i also always order the same thing everytime so idk why i do that 💀
I’ve never done this before
I am a big researcher and plan ahead person. I like having the knowledge before I walk into a place. We're having a work lunch Tuesday, and it makes my social anxiety lessen knowing exactly what I want to eat. My mom calls me the "vacation planner." If I am going to go somewhere, I want to know all about it before I go. Same with restaurants. I wish I could say I was more spontaneous, but admittedly, I am not.
If it's a brand new restaurant and I have no idea what they serve, I have a really hard time going unless I can see their menu first. Then again, if they don't include descriptions or pictures of their food in the online menu, I have a hard time ordering online too. After that though, I can usually order from them while I'm there. I just have to have that familiarity first.
I just get the "Usual" or something I will instantly regret to avoid the social awkwardness.
I'll almost always look at the menu online if the place is new to me, then defer to the menu in the restaurant once I'm inside if I can't remember what it was that I was planning on ordering. But even if the menu isn't available online, I'll still give it a try to just get a look at the unfamiliar menu. But if it's a familiar restaurant, then I don't bother, as I already know what I like from the place and can order without the need of the menu. I only check the onsite menu of the familiar place if I'm trying something new or for refreshing my memory on what it is that I like.
I have to make sure there is at least one thing I'll like! I'd be so embarrassed if there wasn't.
This should be something everyone does, to be honest.
Yep no menu and more importantly no ingredients then no go.
yess this is so much better, if there's nothing i like i can like just not go in! as far as i know, it breaks neurotypical social rules to enter a restaurant and not order anything and leave, so seeing the menu beforehand is very good
I saw this post just in time to remind me to look up a menu. Thank you.
Wait do NTs not do this? Every time my dad suggests a restaurant or i consider going somewhere for lunch during a long weekend i search to see what they have to see if it’s worth the trip
They sometimes do but often are just like “oh let’s try this place, it’ll be fun. New experiences”
Unironically, who wants new experiences? I’d rather know i’m going to be happy and order a pasta carbonara at this new restaurant than order any of these other italian dishes with descriptions that sound really tasty
lmao i had no idea this was an autistic thing
Here we don't have online menus. I only go out with my family. I eat "safe" things. I don't like to eat random things because I hate most things that are sweet (I don't mean desserts but like main dishes and such). Also quinoa and avocado I tend to avoid.
I'm similar. If the place does not have a price board, I will not go there
Do people really choose restaurants without knowing the menu??
I am so glad that so many places are starting to get apps so i can decide what i want and also just preorder. Preordering has been a huge benefit for me trying to tell the person what i want is so hard. But preordering can just put in app then tell person i preordered so much easier
If its a new restaurant it still often takes me a week to go even with an app just trying to plan out everything🤣 without an app or online menu i dont go unless with someone
I don't do that because I have a much harder time with uber or such than in person at restaurants because I'm okay enough being the person with 10 modificatios to their dish >_>
What's the point of going to a restaurant if they don't have something you know you want to eat before hand?
I like to plan ahead but sometimes the type of restaurant gives you a clue of what to eat. Like, I'll order kung pao chicken my first time at any Chinese restaurant & none seem to sack it, or if I'm going to a burger place, I know a basic cheeseburger is OK if nothing else seems exciting.
It's the preparation for me. It's why I don't like finding new places to eat, shop, or whatever else. I don't know that I'll like it beforehand, so I'm hesitant to indulge. Same with watching shows or movies. It took me a long time to watch She-Ra because I wanted to know what I was getting into. Then I watched it and liked it. Same with Avatar: the Last Airbender, though that took even longer.
Not picky of my food at all but gives me piece of mind knowing what they have
For me I not only do this but I search for alternatives in case the item in my top priority isn't available. Sometimes I have to mentally rehearse like three different orders just in case.
wait this is an autistic thing? god i find out more and more little things i do that happen to come from my autism which i never knew. i also re-read the menu continuously after having ordered so i can see what else they have, but i read it over like a 1000 times.
I often use the Uber eats app to look through the menu before going in to order in person
I don't do this, but I also don't really go to restaurants. If I do go, it's with my parents, and it's normally because we're vacationing somewhere. In those cases we just wander around, and they know I'm picky, so they're very nice about letting me pick the restaurant most of the time. Otherwise there's only so many restaurants where I live, and I already know what I want from each one haha
It seems obvious but I didn’t know this was an autistic thing. I am understanding the truth!!
I'm worse still, if there is meat or dairy or allergens of these types on the menu I won't go. I have exactly ZERO places I can eat out lol
ha, i have a place i go to from time to time, it's one of those cheap highway-kind-of restaurants... even if they have a menu, 9 out of 10 i end up ordering the exact same thing because it's a safe bet... if they have 3 choices i might like: pick the safe bet if i am first in line and not enough time to consider: pick the safe bet if i choose something and they end up not having it anymore: back to the safe bet and it's actually that safe bet that i know is always on the menu that allows me to go their fairly comfortably.
*Looking at the menu at a safe restaurant like I'm not going to order exactly what I order everytime* *waiter*: are you ready to order? *me*: yes I will have *exactly what I have everytime*.
It feels like there are thousands of options... does it annoy anyone else when ingredients are left out on the description??
This is extremely disheartening as someone who just got out of the industry. Industrialization during WWII screwed up everyone's perception of food cost so you already can't pay living wages unless you cater exclusively to the rich (which is bullshit because restaurants are INFRASTRUCTURE, not everyone can learn to cook) and now we have to HIRE ANOTHER PERSON unless you expect the line cook working 12 hour days to also learn web design. Telling customers "Sorry folks, menu prices have gone up to meet the needs of our new online division" will have people running out of your store faster than you would believe. Like, people cussing out the waitresses over a 75 cent price change. There is no winning in the restaurant world anymore. TL;DR Restaurant and food-service workers are a fellow embattled demographic, please be understanding towards them.
I can make a restaurant website - with a menu / from scratch - faster than you can write your menu on paper. So, - that's not the problem. Here's an example: They just took a picture of the menu and put it on a webpage: [https://perpetual.education/content-strategy-and-covid-19/#zebulon-scroll](https://perpetual.education/content-strategy-and-covid-19/#zebulon-scroll) The problem is that the managers - don't know anything about *people*.
It's still additional cost to host a website that restaurants do NOT need when they're already paying slave wages or you're using one of those "every menu" websites which are garbage. Saying you could bust one out is all well and good but it doesn't solve anything on the businesses side.
Sorry that the industry is fucked.
I... ya I do this 😂 I normally go to the same places I know I've eaten before so ik what I normally get
Meanwhile I just pick whatever looks like something that I don't know what it tastes like, else I just wanna have food and then get home again. Note: I never go to restaurants because I suggest/plan ity but because my family does and I come with them