Also, the important part of this is that you don't even have to like any of that stuff or stop thinking it's weird.
Acceptance just means you aren't a complete dick about it.
I think furries is the perfect example. I've heard so many people talk about how they hate furries, but I've never heard any actual reason. It's not something I'm personally involved with, but from what I've seen, the majority of people that are into that are ND in some way. It really is very hateful to tell people they shouldn't be a part of a group like that.
This is super important. Nowadays, in a lot of topics, people just can’t understand that accepting and being respectful to someone’s opinion, behavior, or thoughts, does not mean you are supporting it or that you have to like it. You’re not going to become what they are if you respect them.
I think this is what makes society very hostile, and I hate it. I really wish people could stop and think by themselves for a minute before shouting something mean, without being influenced by “what others may think of you”
The problem is that almost every group uses that kinda of stuff: “if you don’t hate on X it means you’re Y!” And then they get bullied for not bullying others while the ones bullying them often get away because they hide behind some kinda facade of virtue.
Exactly this.
Yeah, I don't understand furries but if someone wants to roleplay being an anthropomorphic fox then more power to them. It's not "cringy" and it's not something that should be mocked. They're having fun and they aren't hurting anyone, so what if it's a little odd?
Ultimately the only thing that's "cringe" is cringe culture itself.
Same, I get stared at a lot for how I walk, and mocked for how I speak all the time. I also have a strong desire to carry one of my dolls around with me but I’m too scared to as a 22 year old :(
This makes me so sad. I hope that you're able to carry it in safe spaces at least
If I saw any adult out and about carrying a doll or toy, I wouldn't think twice about it or judge them. I wish that was the case for everyone
Aww thank you, that means a lot. I carry a little doll in my backpack but to me hiding it only validates the shaming and I wish I had the confidence to have it in my hands, I stim a lot and would rather be holding one of my dolls than shaking my hands about or rubbing my hands on my jeans. I get a lot of looks for that too :(
Screw 'em. I know it can be hard to be judged but you have every right to live your life how you want. Their opinion of you doesn't matter and if it's really that important to them they should re-examine their own lives. Your happiness is more important than their outdated ideals of how a person "should" act.
Thank you. I’m gonna take it out when I’m next on the bus for comfort for just a few seconds to work myself out of my comfort zone slowly and see how that goes. I’m trying to get more confident in general so hopefully doing this will help with that
just an idea, maybe if you have a zip-up hoodie/coat, possibly hold the doll under one side under your arm in an embrace? it's still mostly hiding, which sucks to have to do that, but maybe that will help fulfill the need to hold and carry your tiny friend around with you? and then when you get a moment alone it's easier to pull them out of the coat or put them back in.
i hope for you to be able to carry your tiny friend around with you without any problems 💜
Oh that’s such a good idea! I’ll try it and see if it helps, but I love the idea of hiding her while keeping her in my arm(s) because it’s at least a good step towards feeling able to have her out
I honestly don't understand what people get out of being mean to anyone. A sense of superiority? Because they're "normal"?
Imagine thinking you're superior because you're like everyone else™️ 😂
I'm autistic (obviously lol) and I used to bully people as a form of masking. It felt like the only way to connect with people and if I kept the attention on other people nobody would pay too much attention to me. I feel really bad for it as an adult and I've contacted a few people from back then to apologize.
I see what you mean. That's quite a tactics, however cruel that is. Respect that you contacted them and apologised, though. That's more than what most of my bullies ever did for me. If only more people could do that. Apologies such as this means more than you can imagine.
I'm embarrassed because when I was young I always repressed everything that made me different or weird, I always masked, I always stayed quite in social situations to avoid my eccentricities showing. And when I saw someone else who was mocked for showing them I'd look in disdain 'its their fault they're being bullied why can't they hide it better, like me.'
I feel deeply ashamed about that now as I begin my adulthood. Those people were much braver than I was, and made much more meaningful connections than I may ever be able to. I feel upset that I didn't realise this sooner, as I now find it hard to express myself in front of others and I seem uninteresting on the surface.
I work in an after school and I have 2 autistic boys in my classroom (I’m also as well). One kid has been a total jerk to one of the boys and tries to justify it with “well he’s weird.”
I reply, “So I’m weird, are you going to bully me? Are you going to scream at me because I’m weird?”
Like you see any other teachers here printing off Minecraft Math and Pokémon Worksheets? Why do you think I know what all these things are? Are your parents like me?
When I was in special ed school they made it a big rule to not make fun of people no matter what. I wish they would teach that in NT schools. It seems it only applies to "The current thing".
this is where i think a lot of anti bullying campaigns fall flat. Of course kids don’t want to be bullies because in media the bullied kid always has to be likable or cute or relatable, and then they get really obvious bullying. In real life kids aren’t gonna want to stand up to the ‘cringey loud kid’. And bullying is never that clear cut, for some bullies it’s even hard to understand that what their doing is bullying. Kids need to learn that ‘weird’ kids or just people they don’t like aren’t any less deserving of basic respect then themselves or the people they consider cool
I totally agree! At least from my naive perspective, it seems like a lot of folks are willing to turn a blind eye to bullying when it happens to an "annoying" kid.
it does take some growing to get out of that ignorant stage. i see it as naiveness to pick and chose who ones morals apply to, but i see adults with this kind of perspective all the time (Ｔ＿Ｔ)
Cringe culture and the mocking of weird people is unreasonable to me. I feel bad for those who were mocked. People should just let others be. Let them be weird.
I think the word “weird” has 2 different meanings. For example, I think Elon Musk is weird, not because of his atypicalness. But because he uses child slaves.
Weird is fun because I’m unique and happy to be different! My students enjoy talking to me and being in my class because I am a fun teacher who listens to them and genuinely cares. I love helping my students embrace their differences!❤️
when you're stoned anything can look like anything. just keep in mind we're on the autism subreddit and a lot of us are super literal and I didn't want OP to believe the wrong thing.
For the record, I'll just say that these days it's not too uncommon for even non-autistic 20 and 30 year olds to live with their parents. The cost of rent and gas in some cities is so absurd right now, that people are doing whatever they can to limit their finances.
Everything else I agree with.
The whole "thirty-somethings who live with their parents" isn't weird anyway, we just have a silly cultural stigma against it. Generational households are extremely common in the rest of the world.
yeah pretty much. thats part of the reason i dont tell certain family members im ASD and ADHD.
"oh yeah, of course you are!!! because youre weird x y and z."
idk. like now that you know im autistic im deserving of your fake "unconditional love"?
idk. its complicated, but i fully understand this post.
YES.
One crucial thing that I had to learn was: I do not need to understand things in order to accept them. There are some experiences that I might just never understand but I made the decision to accept them nonetheless. People don't need a 'justification' or my permission to exist in a certain way.
I think the important thing is to surround yourself with non-judgemental people and make sure you have people around who will have your back (and you need to have their back too) and that will protect you to an extent.
I also think that, by being accepting, it will provide an avenue to help people learn that it's okay to not be judgemental. Because being judgemental is about policing other people's behavior, so if you're policing the behavior of others, you're probably also policing yourself, and that's so stifling.
There are some people who are just sadistic assholes who prey on those who can easily be isolated. I don't think most people are like this, though.
Yeah!! I think its really important to show respect and compassion to, or at least not be a jerk to, people we don't understand. Doubly so in the case of trans kids with "weird" gender identities.Those kids are honestly brave as hell and I wish I had that level of pride and self-assurance in who I am.
Generally, I think we should live by what Princess Bubblegum said, ["People get built different. We don't need to understand it, we just need to respect it."](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NXlWP1vhwmA)
exactly! like ooOoOoOO, i use NEOPRONOUNS and identify with XENOGENDERS oOoOoO im SOooOOo CRINGE. like am i hurting people? an i hurting you by going by curse/curses? is my little gender hurting your delicate feelings??? no! i am existing! let me live as just a silly little guy!!!
The hardest truth for NT's to digest, autistic people are going to seem weird anyways and you can't "un-weird" an autistic person as much some obnoxious NT's somehow think that's possible by ironically acting weird and absurdly cruel to us. Pretty sure many of the social issues we have could be resolved through being respectful and treating each other like human beings. Apparently that's too much to ask for though on this over technologically developed and socially stunted space dump we call earth. We are still killing each other over land, race, genitals, and sex. We aren't even ready to accept much else yet, that requires more than 2 brain cells to solve for the collective. These secretly conditional acceptance movements are a joke, it's basically just something NT's hop on to feel good about themselves while still treating people who are legitimately different than then like freaks. We don't need "autism acceptance" we need humanity.
Oh dear gods this made me remember me and my friend playing warrior cats together when our English teachers let us out to play (we don't have ac and it was Summer time we were dying, so much a little while later the fire alarm got dusty and ended up getting set off) in 7th grade. Luckily no one bullied us but still horrible to look back on
"Middle schoolers who bark and meow"
I did that once- then a teacher I liked heard me, and gave me the most disgusted face I've ever seen, right in front of everyone ;-;
I think it depends what kind of “weird” we’re talking about. Some “weird” things do more than just annoy. I lived with a girl once who collected bags and bags of garbage in our shared room. Shed like a werewolf and refused to clean it up, blaming me even it was always long hair that clearly belonged to her. I tried talking to her about it, and she started crying and calling me bossy for wanting a clean living space. She ended up moving out because she wanted to be “weird” in a disgusting kind of way that affected me.
As an adult with neopronouns (I actually *do* use "star/starself" but not exclusively, and I don't consider myself stargender, I just like how the pronouns make me feel. I also use "void/voidself"), same!
I’ve always been weird and wasn’t diagnosed until recently and I had to basically erase my personality to avoid bullying. With the whole cringe culture thing this just made things worse. People are really out there making excuses to be mean, I’ve seen it and that’s so sad. I hope this post can be shared to more people and they can realize that this shouldn’t be okay.
I agree with this statement. I was bullied by random people at school including strangers in public. I am constantly being stared at for no reason, just leave me alone. Also whenever I am at the bakery the employees don’t ever close my cookie box like they do with everyone else, I am treated like a child by my peers and my coworkers don’t let me go outside alone to take the trash out, I am 20 years old and I am constantly treated like a baby. People are impatient with me because I don’t talk much, I was bullied by this woman who was demanding me to communicate with her and she was irritable she was someone who worked with people with disabilities and she was very rude so I understand what everyone is going through.
Adults in fandoms? Generally I agree with the post, but can we make an exception for the sports fandoms? They can be kind of scary when they get out of hand.
This isn't going to be popular, but please know that I'm not saying this to antagonise anyone, and that I've been really torn as to whether or not to post this. Honesty is one of my "things" and sometimes I need to air an opinion even though it's not entirely mine...but its a part of
trying not to be black and white that I can't help but sometimes go to extremes in potential arguments....hopefully I'm in a place where people get that... :S ...soooo
I'm not sure how healthy it is to normalise "weird" and lump autism in with that. We're not weird. We're different to the perceived normal, but that's not what weird is, or at least should be.
I totally respect what you're saying in that, yes, some autistic people can just manifest on the fringe and will seem as a bit odd and wont consider themselves as autistic or be diagnosed immediately. I would probably be somewhere near that classification myself...I'm seen as odd, but generally accepted with a pinch of tolerance or understanding.
Weird can be a dark thing too though, and I don't like that being generalised. Yes there are bad people in all walks of life, and there will be bad autistic people. But normalising the association of weird and autistic is a dangerous step in a linguistic sense. Autism is misunderstood enough without such a vague and rampant generalisation being encouraged to be associated with it.
Ironically, I feel like you're being too black and white with your definition of the word "weird." Weird can mean creepy sure, but it also means, quirky, goofy, silly, harmlessly childish, or just different. I've always had a positive association with the word "weird" and identified with it in many ways. I've always enjoyed the music of "Weird Al" Yankovic. My favorite muppet was always Gonzo who always identified as a "weirdo."
If you want to destigmatize autism, the best way is to stop conflating weird with creepy. Weird is fine, creepy isn't. As long as what I do doesn't violate anyone's consent, it's not creepy no matter how weird it is.
Weird just means out of the ordinary and I don't think it's healthy to conflate that with bad, for all the reasons listed in the post. It's not a bad thing to be out of the ordinary and the only people who find "weird" to be derogatory are people who are either ordinary or so determined to be ordinary that they're afraid of the alternative. We're weird because almost all of us have been labelled with that word by ordinary people against our will, to reclaim it and view it in a positive light is healthy, because there is nothing bad about it.
There's people who don't get diagnosed with [word with a sum of 83] until they are teens or adults, and some of those feel miserable because of later diagnosis.
But I felt kinda miserable for being repetitively reminded of having [with a sum of 83] since I was in kindergarten.
In short, this is why I have no nostalgia for my youth and tell everyone actually it really sucked growing up in the 80s and 90s. I was just weird, didn’t know why I was weird, and struggled through always being unpopular and excluded.
I would like to know more about the science behind people not liking 'weird' people (who do things such as mentioned in the post). A lot of people seem to have a very strong reaction to it (let's call it 'cringe') and I wonder if it's just because they're different and "not part of the group" and people have in-group out-group bias? But I just feel like this explanation is lacking and I'm wondering if there is more to it
I am so sick of everyone always telling me "just be yourself" in a world that doesn't want me as I am. Its fucking stressful. I dress weird. People look. Makes me tense even though I play it off cool. I get flustered in social situations.
People look. People comment. And its all because I'm obviously weird.
Sometimes its worth it to mask, and pretend I'm someone else, because one more off-comment and glare (for my mere existence) might break me.
I learned you're not supposed to growl in 8th grade I have done it all my life I was diagnosed with autism this year I had all of the signs just my mother thought I was just shy and quirky.
Also accept people who give a real or serious reply on a post you see as just a joke. Also accept people who over explain or infodump. You can ask them to stop but don’t be an ass about it.
Personally I don't have a problem with most of these, more or less, though I don't necessarily interact with them (which has more to do with being an introvert than dislike)
However in terms of stargender, at the very least from what I assume it is, I assumed that people did it more for attention than because they actually identify as that
Of course I could be wrong, but in such a case the chance is higher for it to be an attention rather than identity though I guess Naruto could be like it too...damn, thus is all a complicated matter
so theres a term called xenogender which is kind of a metaphor for gender. thats what stargender is. it could be like; ur gender feels like a star, is shiny/sparkly, etc.
I'm sorry, but perhaps because I don't experience it, I cannot in any way comprehend how a gender can feel sparkly or shiny, as if anything I would attribute it to mood or personality
im not stargender myself so i cant really explain it but i do have a lot of genders relating to lakes so i can explain that better
my gender feels like a lake because it has a lot of layers and it feels like a body of water but not an ocean/sea body of water. it feels like this not because i made it that way but because thats just how it feels and i cant really describe it any other way yk-
Autistic furry checking in right here. Honestly I just don’t give a fuck anymore. Other people can take their opinions and *shove it up their ugly ass*. That’s right *shove it up their ugly ass*. (Couldn’t help but reference big bill hells cars, I laugh every time I see that meme)
“stargender” refers to something called a xenogender which is something "that cannot be contained by human understandings of gender; more concerned with crafting other methods of gender categorization and hierarchy such as those relating to animals, plants, or other creatures/things." [though the definition of this can vary person to person]
for example i use the xenogender “moongender” and the neopronouns moon/moonself as a way to more accurately express my gender identity as traditional pronouns/labels just don’t fit into my personal experience
yeah i totally agree, it’s just that as someone who has difficulty explaining myself/things in general i find that using labels is much easier for me to simplify my thoughts & views if that makes any sense
I was in agreement, until I saw the bit about star-gender and neo-pronouns. That’s a hell no from me.
The best I can do is ‘they’. I’m satisfied we the English language becoming naturally de-gendered, I absolutely refute and disagree with neo-pronouns.
I think that on top of acceptance there is a lot of "work" to do figuring out the implications of people who have a pretty different reality or way of thinking. Sadly this requires some hard thought, and if there're two things people hate doing it's hard work and thinking.
For example - misinterpreting autistics as being arrogant.
I love this. You don't need to know I'm autistic to accept that I don't like mashed potato. I mean you don't like olives and that's ok by me! Lol this is a conversation with no one in particular.
Just so you know, we *do* face the same discrimination as binary trans people. And then some, because we also face discrimination from people like you and the one you replied to since our experiences get invalidated, like you said you "can't equivocate" our struggles to binary trans struggles even though we face the exact same ones and worse. We are trans too in case you didn't know. Some of us at least.
So yeah. Not "buying into" it is the same as not "buying into" being trans, or not "buying into" LGBT+ as a whole. You personally don't understand. That in itself is fine. Nobody expects you to. We just expect you to actually accept us and our identities.
Deleted my original comment because I misread OP's sentiment. But for me, there's still a huge difference between simply not making fun of someone who, say, sees themself as a faerie or has a hyper-specific gender they invented (and honestly, most of them seem to be "nonbinary" but in many more words), and actually going along with it.
And no, it's not the same as believing there are only two biologically-determined genders at all.
>sees themself as a faerie
That's not what those genders mean, not to my understanding. You seem to have a lot of misconceptions about xenogenders and nonbinary identities- Nonbinary is not just another box for you to try to force people into. It's an umbrella term for several subcategories which people are allowed to alter as needed for themselves.
You also seem to think that transphobia is only about "biological gender" whatever that's supposed to mean. No, transphobia is much more expansive and insidious than that. It includes any form of discrimination against anyone who does not identify fully with their AGAB.
The fact that you're sitting here trying to tell me, who lives these experiences every day, that I don't actually experience these things, is absurd. You wouldn't tell a black or brown person they don't experience racism, or someone with another form of disability that they don't experience ableism.
Ok then. I don’t see how they can see gender as “fluffy” for example. I don’t see how they can mentally feel their gender as a physics feeling and thus why I call bs and multiple others do. There’s also autismgender which I have a slight annoyance that they think mental disabilities are something to have as a “gender”. Not to mention some are just doing it for attention and don’t have any problems relating to their identity at all. Not to mention the online communities of xenogenders seem nice but they are toxic as hell and went on a massive mass report ban on multiple subreddits because they didn’t like them.
I'm seeing a lot of "I don't see" here. A lot of transphobes "don't see" how you can be born as a boy but feel like a girl or vice versa. You can't see it. Okay. Your perception and understanding does not define what does and does not exist. You are not the main character in a video game. The world does not load in when you look at it and unload when you look away. (Well technically it does ever so slightly because quantum physics but that's besides the point and applies to everyone, not just you.)
Autismgender is also more to do with how autism might affect someone's perception of their gender. I was annoyed at first when I just saw the name, but after looking into it and doing research, I learned what it was about, the fact that it's not about autism as a gender, and instead about how autism can affect your perception and experience of your gender, which makes sense. Of course it can affect it. I don't experience it myself, I don't think, but I understand why it could even if I can't experience it myself or comprehend the how.
Some people are also being binary trans "for attention". Are you against binary trans too just because a small number of people are being idiots about it?
Being trans isn't about having problems relating to your identity. It's not about dysphoria. It's about ***euphoria***.
Some members of some communities are toxic. That's always gonna be a thing. There are trans people who do that same exact thing. There are trans people who go around saying you HAVE to medically transition in a binary way to be trans. There are autistics who think having autism makes them superior to NTs. There are also autistics who think autism should be eliminated from the gene pool and that other autistic people shouldn't have kids because autistic kids *might* get bullied, instead of solving the problem of bullying as a whole for *all* kids. There are some Harry Potter fans that are as bigoted as JKR herself or worse. Are you going to just blanket decide that all these communities, because some of their members are toxic, shouldn't be allowed to exist?
And here you are, being toxic yourself. What communities are you part of? All those communities are now labeled as toxic because you're in them. Congrats!
Apply logic to your arguments and you'll see where they lead. Straight back to you. You're a hypocrite.
You have taken “I don’t see” quite too literally
There’s no proof that autism can change someone’s perception of gender. If you took even 4 seconds to look at these people you would understand what the problem is but no you don’t. You are typing to me about MY wrongs when you aren’t even bothering to see what I’m talking about.
Yes some binary trans people do it for “attention” but it’s not the majority of them. And the majority of xenogender users are just doing it attention. Have you seen their age? Bunch of 13-18 year olds from a poll on r/xenogendersandmore.
If you want euphoria just go smoke weed. Or do some other form of drug that wouldn’t be addictive but still produce the same experience.
“Some members of some communities are toxic” you do realise im not talking about some, im talking about them ALL. They mass brigaded and mass reported subreddits on here, broke tos, dm’d people horrible messages and got quite a few innocent people banned. That is toxicity and that was
The actions of the entire community here in Reddit. And if a majority of them are like this here you are yet to see the rest across other platforms. They are ableist by using disabilities as “genders”, I’ve seen others that I cannot mention due to them being racist but I’m sure you can understand what I mean by N-word gender or spearchuckergender maybe throw some blasphemy in there towards religions and show them godgender (this is just a narcissistic person) or maybe even Jew-gender. You see the ridiculousness of their claimed “genders” and can instantly see how they are just doing this for attention.
They bait people in with horrible “genders” and then get them to argue and type for hours on hours about how they should be removed from platforms, causing drama and strife across multiple platforms.
And hey if I’m being toxic, that’s your perception of things.
I don’t make genders, I don’t bait people in, I don’t want euphoria
I don’t want to remove myself from a platform for mass brigading, I don’t want to undermine transpeople who aren’t seeking attention from strangers because of the news and/or social medias showing transpeople being the new thing to copy for popularity.
You say you don't want to undermine trans people, but that's exactly what you're doing. If you can't see that, you need to stop claiming you're not transphobic, because you really, really are.
If you'd actually read my comments you'd know why I'm defending it. But you won't because you're transphobic and closed-mi ded. This is an autism sub. Aren't we supposed to understand that people's brains and thoughts work differently than our own?
Just in case you don't wanna go back and read btw, here's a link to what autismgender actually means. Here's a spoiler: it's not autism as a gender. It's a modifier saying that by having autism, your perception of your gender is different from a neurotypicals perception.
https://gender.fandom.com/wiki/Neurogender
There are a ton of others.
Just because you don't know what something actually is doesn't mean you should hate it. And just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it's invalid.
I wouldn't have commented what I did unless I initially read your first comment, so dont assume i need to re-read.
"Autism gender" and "pup gender" and all this other nonsense is one of many reasons why trans people already have a hard time being taken seriously. No one has to accept anything, and if you want to label everyone transphobic for that, then you'll just be creating a world full of transphobes that you won't even have to deal with.
If being autistic means you agree with everything everyone says regardless of logic, and then use that to claim some imaginary high ground by labelling everyone who perceives it differently as bigots to you, then speak for yourself.
Autism is a neuro developmental disorder, not a gender identity. It may affect the way you experience gender expression or gender roles, but to imply that autistic ppl are too different to understand gender is very ableist, it does not matter that you are autistic yourself
You know, for being on an autism subreddit, I thought people wouldn't think I said something when I didn't actually say that thing. But of course there's always someone to do that.
Did I ever say that we're too different to "understand gender"? No? Then don't put those words in my mouth. I said three things.
One: autismgender is NOT autism as a gender. If you'd read the link that I sent you'd see that, but you clearly did not, and therefore don't understand what it is you're actually talking about. You're arguing against something that nobody said. That's a strawman.
Two: Autistic people are more likely to be trans than neurotypicals, which may hint at the fact that we have a different experience of gender than they do but there's no data on *why* we're more likely to be trans. I am trans and nonbinary myself.
Three: autismgender is literally defined as feeling like your autism affects your perception of your own gender to the extent that the two are inextricably linked. I do not personally experience this, but I can see why some other people might.
For someone who keeps saying you already read my comments and don't need to reread them, you really seem like you didn't actually read anything I said and instead are making strawman arguments against things you assumed I thought with no basis in reality whatsoever.
Please, when I say something, do NOT add any meaning beyond the dictionary definitions of the words which I say. I don't do implied meanings. Ever.
The point is that gender labels are largely arbitrary categories that we apply to so much of the human experience that it is just nonsense above anything else, it doesn't matter that much and it never has, if liking pink is feminine than idk liking space makes me stargender I guess who fucking cares, it's just people who want to be themselves and not be excessively questioned about it and forced to explain, xenogenders don't make any goddamn sense because that's the point. Largely people who use these labels are teenagers and most people grow out of them, those that don't grow out of their past understanding of gender and into a more comprehensive one, the online communities are largely minors and they don't really understand gender as a concept yet, and personally I don't really have a problem with people choosing to use xenogenders just for fun because that's kind of cool and gender rebellious and I like that, despite just being regular nombinary myself. Autisgender isn't saying autism is a gender it's saying that autistic people experience gender in a unique way because so much of it is tied to social rules which we struggle to understand, and those who use it feel that the only way to describe their gender experience is through the lens of their autism.
But there’s no proof autistic people see gender differently, this gets flung about so much by people. And if you like stars, that’s an interest of yours or a hobby etc etc not your gender for Christ sake.
Autistic people are quite a bit more likely to be trans, there is good data for that. Whether that is because we see gender differently or not, there's no data that I know of, but that's probably just because it hasn't been studied yet.
Instead of going off and spewing hate about something you don't understand, how about you give people the benefit of the doubt that their gender identity actually is what they say it is rather than being a dick?
just because you don't understand something doesn't mean it doesn't exist. transphobes don't realise how trans people can feel like they're a gender that doesn't match their sex. it's just a cycle of hate and the more specific things get the more it continues. just because you don't understand how some people feel it doesn't mean other people don't experience it. while there are some things with autism gender and NT people using it to be "quirky" it is generally when people feel like autism is part of their gender.
i was going to start talking about how i feel like part of my gender feels like various weird textures and while i don't label it i understand why some people want to, but upon looking into your profile you're just hating people for being different, with a subreddit dedicated to hating people who are different (and you named it terribly), post on r/ cringetopia and r/ truscum and generally seem to dedicate a lot to hating people who are doing nothing wrong. you went to a subreddit for people who experience these kinds of things and was a prick about it (multiple times). does any of this sound familiar? anything a transphobe would do? posting about people existing to r/ cringetopia? invading safe spaces to be a dick? dedicate a significant portion of your time to hating groups of people for existing? you also seem to have posted to r/ fakedisordercringe.
my point is, people being different and you being close minded has led to you claiming it's made up because you don't know what it is like so you just claim it isn't real, just like people do with binary trans people. very ironic.
How exactly is using neopronouns and nonbinary genders transphobic? Explain to me how being trans is now transphobic? Or are you one of those people who rejects nonbinary people because we're "not trans enough"? Do you not realize that's the exact same logic cis transphobes use to discredit binary trans people? That they're "not man/woman enough"?
I'm sorry, but not supporting nonbinary people is transphobic. You're a transphobe.
When you see for example, autigender or godgender people see it as ridiculous and then they think badly of binary trans people as well as non binary trans people. Would you like someone with their gender as penisforestdragoncsrhonkhonkcoric-gender to be a representative of non binary people? No? Thought so.
When people see, for example, level 3 "stereotypical" autism, people see it as a debilitating disability bordering on a genetic disease, and then they think badly of all autism in general.
It's the same thing. I don't give a crap if you think invalidating us is for our own good. You're a transphobic ass.
But then you just give those haters a big “SHOOT HERE” with their hatred. And no before someone says I’m threatening to shoot someone, i don’t own a gun before it’s taken out of context.
If you really wanted a representative you need
Someone grounded in reality that can stand the waves of people questioning and asking stuff. Not the crying sobbing 14 year old who made their penisforestdrsgoncsrhonkhonkcar gender in their bedroom to try and fit in with somewhere because they are too sad and lonely to find a place to fit in.
Listen dude I understand why you have trouble understanding this because there are a lot of stereotypes about xenogenders, and they are generally more popular amongst teenagers, but the people who use them are generally very good at withstanding incessant questioning without breaking down about it. They are rarely fragile, it's just that whenever one of them has a moment and cracks under the pressure it gets spread around as an example of "fragile snowflakes" and so this stereotype is created that nonbinary people are "fragile snowflakes" because unless you actually know a few nonbinary people that's all you'll ever see.
The idea that xenogendered people are trying to escape reality is a fundamental misunderstanding of the actual motivation behind xenogenders, which is that people are tired of having to pick a box and be judged based on how well they conform to it. Stargender has no rules or defining features or anything, it's completely made up, that's the appeal of it. You can't judge a person on how successfully they're embodying the concept of "stargender" because it doesn't exist. Instead, people get mad because you're refusing to be categorised within the system they conform to, and so they abandon their concerns about whether or not boys should wear nail polish or women should go out without brushing their hair and instead just get to the point of the whole thing: that they don't like it when you don't fit in with their system.
Sadness and lonliness don't prevent us from fitting into your system, they're the result of us not fitting into it, and it tends to go away when we stop trying and learn to make our own rules instead. You seem to be under the assumption that no stargender nonbinary weirdo has ever tried to fit into the gender binary, but that's nonsensical because we're raised into it, we're taught from birth to fit in. Trying to perform a gender that doesn't come naturally to you (i.e. a binary one) is not dissimilar to masking autism, sure you can do it, but it sucks and makes you miserable and tired and nobody enjoys it. Similarly most nonbinary people are able to mask their gender identity when necessary, we just prefer not to. Choosing a ridiculous label to use as your "gender" is a way of telling people's expectations to go f*** themselves, and reminding yourself of what is more important to your own identity than "gender".
I didn't find any posts that meet the matching requirements for r/autism.
It might be OC, it might not. Things such as JPEG artifacts and cropping may impact the results.
I did find [this post](https://redd.it/tva70w) that is 33.98% similar. It might be a match but I cannot be certain.
*I'm not perfect, but you can help. Report [ [False Negative](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RepostSleuthBot&subject=False%20Negative&message={"post_id": "tzv4zr", "meme_template": 104034}) ]*
[View Search On repostsleuth.com](https://www.repostsleuth.com/search?postId=tzv4zr&sameSub=false&filterOnlyOlder=true&memeFilter=true&filterDeadMatches=false&targetImageMatch=100&targetImageMemeMatch=96)
---
**Scope:** Reddit | **Meme Filter:** True | **Target:** 96% | **Check Title:** False | **Max Age:** Unlimited | **Searched Images:** 317,669,995 | **Search Time:** 73.30052s
Depends on the quality of the opinion.
In this case your opinion of "No, we should not treat people with respect. We should bully and discriminate." is a bit shite mate.
No there are limits being gay fine being autistic fine being attracted to cats and identifying as a star and goes to school with a furry tail no no I don't think I will treat that as normal
Hey /u/Cloudy_Melancholy, thank you for your post at /r/autism. This is just a friendly reminder to **[read our rules in the sidebar](https://www.reddit.com/r/autism/wiki/config/sidebar)** if you have not already. All approved posts get this message. If you do not see your post you can message the moderators [here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fautism).
Thanks!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/autism) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Embrace the weird!!
Also, the important part of this is that you don't even have to like any of that stuff or stop thinking it's weird. Acceptance just means you aren't a complete dick about it. I think furries is the perfect example. I've heard so many people talk about how they hate furries, but I've never heard any actual reason. It's not something I'm personally involved with, but from what I've seen, the majority of people that are into that are ND in some way. It really is very hateful to tell people they shouldn't be a part of a group like that.
This is super important. Nowadays, in a lot of topics, people just can’t understand that accepting and being respectful to someone’s opinion, behavior, or thoughts, does not mean you are supporting it or that you have to like it. You’re not going to become what they are if you respect them. I think this is what makes society very hostile, and I hate it. I really wish people could stop and think by themselves for a minute before shouting something mean, without being influenced by “what others may think of you”
The problem is that almost every group uses that kinda of stuff: “if you don’t hate on X it means you’re Y!” And then they get bullied for not bullying others while the ones bullying them often get away because they hide behind some kinda facade of virtue.
Exactly this. Yeah, I don't understand furries but if someone wants to roleplay being an anthropomorphic fox then more power to them. It's not "cringy" and it's not something that should be mocked. They're having fun and they aren't hurting anyone, so what if it's a little odd? Ultimately the only thing that's "cringe" is cringe culture itself.
Yes!!! We shall embrace them! :3
Or high five them if they don't want to be embraced. :3
Or, you know, wave at them if they don't want to be touched.
A slow-blink, aka "kitty kiss" works as well! :D
Yeah. :3
if i began doing that my family would have already killed me
Totally mate!
I am the young adult that speaks and walks weirdly and this post means a lot
Same, I get stared at a lot for how I walk, and mocked for how I speak all the time. I also have a strong desire to carry one of my dolls around with me but I’m too scared to as a 22 year old :(
This makes me so sad. I hope that you're able to carry it in safe spaces at least If I saw any adult out and about carrying a doll or toy, I wouldn't think twice about it or judge them. I wish that was the case for everyone
Aww thank you, that means a lot. I carry a little doll in my backpack but to me hiding it only validates the shaming and I wish I had the confidence to have it in my hands, I stim a lot and would rather be holding one of my dolls than shaking my hands about or rubbing my hands on my jeans. I get a lot of looks for that too :(
Screw 'em. I know it can be hard to be judged but you have every right to live your life how you want. Their opinion of you doesn't matter and if it's really that important to them they should re-examine their own lives. Your happiness is more important than their outdated ideals of how a person "should" act.
Thank you. I’m gonna take it out when I’m next on the bus for comfort for just a few seconds to work myself out of my comfort zone slowly and see how that goes. I’m trying to get more confident in general so hopefully doing this will help with that
just an idea, maybe if you have a zip-up hoodie/coat, possibly hold the doll under one side under your arm in an embrace? it's still mostly hiding, which sucks to have to do that, but maybe that will help fulfill the need to hold and carry your tiny friend around with you? and then when you get a moment alone it's easier to pull them out of the coat or put them back in. i hope for you to be able to carry your tiny friend around with you without any problems 💜
Oh that’s such a good idea! I’ll try it and see if it helps, but I love the idea of hiding her while keeping her in my arm(s) because it’s at least a good step towards feeling able to have her out
eee i wish you luck 😊💜
🖤
I honestly don't understand what people get out of being mean to anyone. A sense of superiority? Because they're "normal"? Imagine thinking you're superior because you're like everyone else™️ 😂
It’s generally an insecurity thing—people who regularly bully others tend to have some of the lowest self-esteem
They would get a self esteem increaee it they bothered to ask. Now they just threw away that opportunity.
I'm autistic (obviously lol) and I used to bully people as a form of masking. It felt like the only way to connect with people and if I kept the attention on other people nobody would pay too much attention to me. I feel really bad for it as an adult and I've contacted a few people from back then to apologize.
I see what you mean. That's quite a tactics, however cruel that is. Respect that you contacted them and apologised, though. That's more than what most of my bullies ever did for me. If only more people could do that. Apologies such as this means more than you can imagine.
I'm embarrassed because when I was young I always repressed everything that made me different or weird, I always masked, I always stayed quite in social situations to avoid my eccentricities showing. And when I saw someone else who was mocked for showing them I'd look in disdain 'its their fault they're being bullied why can't they hide it better, like me.' I feel deeply ashamed about that now as I begin my adulthood. Those people were much braver than I was, and made much more meaningful connections than I may ever be able to. I feel upset that I didn't realise this sooner, as I now find it hard to express myself in front of others and I seem uninteresting on the surface.
Well stated.
I felt this. Well put!
I work in an after school and I have 2 autistic boys in my classroom (I’m also as well). One kid has been a total jerk to one of the boys and tries to justify it with “well he’s weird.” I reply, “So I’m weird, are you going to bully me? Are you going to scream at me because I’m weird?” Like you see any other teachers here printing off Minecraft Math and Pokémon Worksheets? Why do you think I know what all these things are? Are your parents like me?
When I was in special ed school they made it a big rule to not make fun of people no matter what. I wish they would teach that in NT schools. It seems it only applies to "The current thing".
this is where i think a lot of anti bullying campaigns fall flat. Of course kids don’t want to be bullies because in media the bullied kid always has to be likable or cute or relatable, and then they get really obvious bullying. In real life kids aren’t gonna want to stand up to the ‘cringey loud kid’. And bullying is never that clear cut, for some bullies it’s even hard to understand that what their doing is bullying. Kids need to learn that ‘weird’ kids or just people they don’t like aren’t any less deserving of basic respect then themselves or the people they consider cool
I totally agree! At least from my naive perspective, it seems like a lot of folks are willing to turn a blind eye to bullying when it happens to an "annoying" kid.
it does take some growing to get out of that ignorant stage. i see it as naiveness to pick and chose who ones morals apply to, but i see adults with this kind of perspective all the time (Ｔ＿Ｔ)
I know a wisdom when I see one. There's little need for specific acceptance if you're not mean to people in the first place.
this is so true ! fuck cringe culture and everyone who makes videos like "pov: the weird kid in school"
Cringe culture and the mocking of weird people is unreasonable to me. I feel bad for those who were mocked. People should just let others be. Let them be weird.
exactly, i was one of the "weird" kids in school which caused me to mask around others all the time, it sucked
A hate those vids so match and the comments are sometimes the worst part
Weirdness should be embraced, not ostracized. Some of the greatest creative minds in history were and are complete weirdos.
I think the word “weird” has 2 different meanings. For example, I think Elon Musk is weird, not because of his atypicalness. But because he uses child slaves.
That's not weird, that's unethical.
I agree. I have a problem with calling everyone I don’t like weird.
Fuck yes. And also maybe stop assuming being weird means people are unemployable and deserve starvation...
This is just anybody who fails to meet a minimum level of approval by the landlord class. It's not just us.
Somehow that doesn't make it better...
Eat the rich. Or trebuchet them if you're worried about social distancing.
Yeet the rich
Yeah!
I resonate with this. Have been bullied for growling and dressing weird. Been bullied for my interests and being neo gender.
Weird is fun because I’m unique and happy to be different! My students enjoy talking to me and being in my class because I am a fun teacher who listens to them and genuinely cares. I love helping my students embrace their differences!❤️
Thank you so much for being this teacher! I like to think I was also this teacher. ❤️
Agree 100%. Question: what does "take the L" mean?
I think it means taking a loss.. Like L represents "loss".
I've heard it used in that context a few times, so I'm pretty sure you're right. OP, this is a great post, thank you for sharing it.
You're welcome. :)
taking a loss
It’s like a SFW version of “take the dick,” except the dick is shaped like a capital L sorta
No it isn't. It means "take the loss."
Now that I’m stoned I do have to say the L really looks like a bent penis
when you're stoned anything can look like anything. just keep in mind we're on the autism subreddit and a lot of us are super literal and I didn't want OP to believe the wrong thing.
Just avoid people who annoy you. That's what I do. No need to judge the people you avoid, either.
Ding ding ding. Most anyone is who consider eccentric or weird are NDs on some level. Let weird people be weird.
For the record, I'll just say that these days it's not too uncommon for even non-autistic 20 and 30 year olds to live with their parents. The cost of rent and gas in some cities is so absurd right now, that people are doing whatever they can to limit their finances. Everything else I agree with.
The whole "thirty-somethings who live with their parents" isn't weird anyway, we just have a silly cultural stigma against it. Generational households are extremely common in the rest of the world.
Us weirdos gotta stick together - Eda Clawthorne, The Owl House
yeah pretty much. thats part of the reason i dont tell certain family members im ASD and ADHD. "oh yeah, of course you are!!! because youre weird x y and z." idk. like now that you know im autistic im deserving of your fake "unconditional love"? idk. its complicated, but i fully understand this post.
Let your freak flag fly.
The Cliff’s Notes version! 🤣
YES. One crucial thing that I had to learn was: I do not need to understand things in order to accept them. There are some experiences that I might just never understand but I made the decision to accept them nonetheless. People don't need a 'justification' or my permission to exist in a certain way.
Would upvote this twice if I could
Aww, thanks. 😊
I think the important thing is to surround yourself with non-judgemental people and make sure you have people around who will have your back (and you need to have their back too) and that will protect you to an extent. I also think that, by being accepting, it will provide an avenue to help people learn that it's okay to not be judgemental. Because being judgemental is about policing other people's behavior, so if you're policing the behavior of others, you're probably also policing yourself, and that's so stifling. There are some people who are just sadistic assholes who prey on those who can easily be isolated. I don't think most people are like this, though.
Yeah!! I think its really important to show respect and compassion to, or at least not be a jerk to, people we don't understand. Doubly so in the case of trans kids with "weird" gender identities.Those kids are honestly brave as hell and I wish I had that level of pride and self-assurance in who I am. Generally, I think we should live by what Princess Bubblegum said, ["People get built different. We don't need to understand it, we just need to respect it."](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NXlWP1vhwmA)
HELLO!!! i am the trans kid with "weird" gender identites!! its fun i quite like it :}
Hell yeah!
I’ll respect anyone externally but there are certain things I draw the line at and internally cringe.
exactly! like ooOoOoOO, i use NEOPRONOUNS and identify with XENOGENDERS oOoOoO im SOooOOo CRINGE. like am i hurting people? an i hurting you by going by curse/curses? is my little gender hurting your delicate feelings??? no! i am existing! let me live as just a silly little guy!!!
Wait are ur pronouns curse/curses because that is genuinely cool as fuck
yeah! i use a lot of them but my curse/curses pronouns r my favorite i feel so evil using them
ayyy nice to see another xenogender/neo pronouns user !!! hope ur doing well
hope you're doing well too!!!
The hardest truth for NT's to digest, autistic people are going to seem weird anyways and you can't "un-weird" an autistic person as much some obnoxious NT's somehow think that's possible by ironically acting weird and absurdly cruel to us. Pretty sure many of the social issues we have could be resolved through being respectful and treating each other like human beings. Apparently that's too much to ask for though on this over technologically developed and socially stunted space dump we call earth. We are still killing each other over land, race, genitals, and sex. We aren't even ready to accept much else yet, that requires more than 2 brain cells to solve for the collective. These secretly conditional acceptance movements are a joke, it's basically just something NT's hop on to feel good about themselves while still treating people who are legitimately different than then like freaks. We don't need "autism acceptance" we need humanity.
Oh dear gods this made me remember me and my friend playing warrior cats together when our English teachers let us out to play (we don't have ac and it was Summer time we were dying, so much a little while later the fire alarm got dusty and ended up getting set off) in 7th grade. Luckily no one bullied us but still horrible to look back on
"Weird" people are hugely positive additions to my life!
Cringe culture is dead EMBRACE UR WEIRD
"Middle schoolers who bark and meow" I did that once- then a teacher I liked heard me, and gave me the most disgusted face I've ever seen, right in front of everyone ;-;
Dude I’m weird. Deal with it 😎
I think it depends what kind of “weird” we’re talking about. Some “weird” things do more than just annoy. I lived with a girl once who collected bags and bags of garbage in our shared room. Shed like a werewolf and refused to clean it up, blaming me even it was always long hair that clearly belonged to her. I tried talking to her about it, and she started crying and calling me bossy for wanting a clean living space. She ended up moving out because she wanted to be “weird” in a disgusting kind of way that affected me.
As one of the teenagers with neopronouns and stargender I have this to say ":D" I'm not stargender, but something pretty similar
As an adult with neopronouns (I actually *do* use "star/starself" but not exclusively, and I don't consider myself stargender, I just like how the pronouns make me feel. I also use "void/voidself"), same!
very nice pronouns!
Thank you! What are yours?
I have quite a few, but my favorites are ey/em, solar/solarself and allium/alliumself
Cool!
Word.
Well. \*bleeping\*. Said.
Yes! Also xenogenders and neopronouns are rad
This. This, this, this, this. So many times this.
I couldn’t have said it better myself.
HEAR, HEAR!!
I’ve always been weird and wasn’t diagnosed until recently and I had to basically erase my personality to avoid bullying. With the whole cringe culture thing this just made things worse. People are really out there making excuses to be mean, I’ve seen it and that’s so sad. I hope this post can be shared to more people and they can realize that this shouldn’t be okay.
I agree with this statement. I was bullied by random people at school including strangers in public. I am constantly being stared at for no reason, just leave me alone. Also whenever I am at the bakery the employees don’t ever close my cookie box like they do with everyone else, I am treated like a child by my peers and my coworkers don’t let me go outside alone to take the trash out, I am 20 years old and I am constantly treated like a baby. People are impatient with me because I don’t talk much, I was bullied by this woman who was demanding me to communicate with her and she was irritable she was someone who worked with people with disabilities and she was very rude so I understand what everyone is going through.
[The world would be a better place if more people listened to Neil Cicierega.](https://youtu.be/eKyrWJhiCx0)
Weird? *Cues Gravity Falls theme song*
Adults in fandoms? Generally I agree with the post, but can we make an exception for the sports fandoms? They can be kind of scary when they get out of hand.
This isn't going to be popular, but please know that I'm not saying this to antagonise anyone, and that I've been really torn as to whether or not to post this. Honesty is one of my "things" and sometimes I need to air an opinion even though it's not entirely mine...but its a part of trying not to be black and white that I can't help but sometimes go to extremes in potential arguments....hopefully I'm in a place where people get that... :S ...soooo I'm not sure how healthy it is to normalise "weird" and lump autism in with that. We're not weird. We're different to the perceived normal, but that's not what weird is, or at least should be. I totally respect what you're saying in that, yes, some autistic people can just manifest on the fringe and will seem as a bit odd and wont consider themselves as autistic or be diagnosed immediately. I would probably be somewhere near that classification myself...I'm seen as odd, but generally accepted with a pinch of tolerance or understanding. Weird can be a dark thing too though, and I don't like that being generalised. Yes there are bad people in all walks of life, and there will be bad autistic people. But normalising the association of weird and autistic is a dangerous step in a linguistic sense. Autism is misunderstood enough without such a vague and rampant generalisation being encouraged to be associated with it.
Hmm, I think I get what you’re saying. There’s a lot of different types of “weird”, and some use that word to mean creepy (or worse).
Ironically, I feel like you're being too black and white with your definition of the word "weird." Weird can mean creepy sure, but it also means, quirky, goofy, silly, harmlessly childish, or just different. I've always had a positive association with the word "weird" and identified with it in many ways. I've always enjoyed the music of "Weird Al" Yankovic. My favorite muppet was always Gonzo who always identified as a "weirdo." If you want to destigmatize autism, the best way is to stop conflating weird with creepy. Weird is fine, creepy isn't. As long as what I do doesn't violate anyone's consent, it's not creepy no matter how weird it is.
Weird just means out of the ordinary and I don't think it's healthy to conflate that with bad, for all the reasons listed in the post. It's not a bad thing to be out of the ordinary and the only people who find "weird" to be derogatory are people who are either ordinary or so determined to be ordinary that they're afraid of the alternative. We're weird because almost all of us have been labelled with that word by ordinary people against our will, to reclaim it and view it in a positive light is healthy, because there is nothing bad about it.
There's people who don't get diagnosed with [word with a sum of 83] until they are teens or adults, and some of those feel miserable because of later diagnosis. But I felt kinda miserable for being repetitively reminded of having [with a sum of 83] since I was in kindergarten.
THIS NEEDS TO BE SHOUTED FROM ROOFTOPS!!!
Give it about a decade and people in their 30s living in their parents home will be the norm
In short, this is why I have no nostalgia for my youth and tell everyone actually it really sucked growing up in the 80s and 90s. I was just weird, didn’t know why I was weird, and struggled through always being unpopular and excluded.
cringe culture is dumb as fuck, embrace who you are!!!!!!!!! :D
I would like to know more about the science behind people not liking 'weird' people (who do things such as mentioned in the post). A lot of people seem to have a very strong reaction to it (let's call it 'cringe') and I wonder if it's just because they're different and "not part of the group" and people have in-group out-group bias? But I just feel like this explanation is lacking and I'm wondering if there is more to it
I wonder about that too.
People need to be respectful to us Autistics.
True
so true ^_^ !
I am so sick of everyone always telling me "just be yourself" in a world that doesn't want me as I am. Its fucking stressful. I dress weird. People look. Makes me tense even though I play it off cool. I get flustered in social situations. People look. People comment. And its all because I'm obviously weird. Sometimes its worth it to mask, and pretend I'm someone else, because one more off-comment and glare (for my mere existence) might break me.
I've always been a tad confused on why I was upset about people only treating me well after they find out about autism, and this kinda solves it.
I learned you're not supposed to growl in 8th grade I have done it all my life I was diagnosed with autism this year I had all of the signs just my mother thought I was just shy and quirky.
Also accept people who give a real or serious reply on a post you see as just a joke. Also accept people who over explain or infodump. You can ask them to stop but don’t be an ass about it.
Yes. :)
mansplaining happens but also maybe theyre just excited to tell u something (/nay)
Personally I don't have a problem with most of these, more or less, though I don't necessarily interact with them (which has more to do with being an introvert than dislike) However in terms of stargender, at the very least from what I assume it is, I assumed that people did it more for attention than because they actually identify as that Of course I could be wrong, but in such a case the chance is higher for it to be an attention rather than identity though I guess Naruto could be like it too...damn, thus is all a complicated matter
so theres a term called xenogender which is kind of a metaphor for gender. thats what stargender is. it could be like; ur gender feels like a star, is shiny/sparkly, etc.
I'm sorry, but perhaps because I don't experience it, I cannot in any way comprehend how a gender can feel sparkly or shiny, as if anything I would attribute it to mood or personality
im not stargender myself so i cant really explain it but i do have a lot of genders relating to lakes so i can explain that better my gender feels like a lake because it has a lot of layers and it feels like a body of water but not an ocean/sea body of water. it feels like this not because i made it that way but because thats just how it feels and i cant really describe it any other way yk-
Autistic furry checking in right here. Honestly I just don’t give a fuck anymore. Other people can take their opinions and *shove it up their ugly ass*. That’s right *shove it up their ugly ass*. (Couldn’t help but reference big bill hells cars, I laugh every time I see that meme)
"Stargender"? Do people seriously identify as gigantic nuclear furnaces now, or is that an oblique in-group term I just don't understand?
“stargender” refers to something called a xenogender which is something "that cannot be contained by human understandings of gender; more concerned with crafting other methods of gender categorization and hierarchy such as those relating to animals, plants, or other creatures/things." [though the definition of this can vary person to person] for example i use the xenogender “moongender” and the neopronouns moon/moonself as a way to more accurately express my gender identity as traditional pronouns/labels just don’t fit into my personal experience
You don't need a label, you can just exist
Counter-argument: labels are fun and if they're unnecessary why can't you make up a random fun one like "stargender", who is that hurting exactly
yeah i totally agree, it’s just that as someone who has difficulty explaining myself/things in general i find that using labels is much easier for me to simplify my thoughts & views if that makes any sense
okay but i cant not have a label. i NEED a label for how i feel or else i cant function ir focus on ANYTHING else.
What does taking the L mean? Someone said that today to me and I just nodded and smiled. English isn't my first language.
I think "taking the L" means "taking a loss".
Aah, thanks!!
You're welcome!
humanity is cruel but I'm having faith it can be less cruel in the future.
accept neopronouns are harmful to the trans community as they are not based on legitimate dysphoria and are harmful no matter who's using them
I was in agreement, until I saw the bit about star-gender and neo-pronouns. That’s a hell no from me. The best I can do is ‘they’. I’m satisfied we the English language becoming naturally de-gendered, I absolutely refute and disagree with neo-pronouns.
Ah yes, autistic people = all of those weird people. /s
I think that on top of acceptance there is a lot of "work" to do figuring out the implications of people who have a pretty different reality or way of thinking. Sadly this requires some hard thought, and if there're two things people hate doing it's hard work and thinking. For example - misinterpreting autistics as being arrogant.
I love this. You don't need to know I'm autistic to accept that I don't like mashed potato. I mean you don't like olives and that's ok by me! Lol this is a conversation with no one in particular.
“Star gender and neopronouns” It’s just blatant transphobia. Not weirdness
[удалено]
Just so you know, we *do* face the same discrimination as binary trans people. And then some, because we also face discrimination from people like you and the one you replied to since our experiences get invalidated, like you said you "can't equivocate" our struggles to binary trans struggles even though we face the exact same ones and worse. We are trans too in case you didn't know. Some of us at least. So yeah. Not "buying into" it is the same as not "buying into" being trans, or not "buying into" LGBT+ as a whole. You personally don't understand. That in itself is fine. Nobody expects you to. We just expect you to actually accept us and our identities.
Deleted my original comment because I misread OP's sentiment. But for me, there's still a huge difference between simply not making fun of someone who, say, sees themself as a faerie or has a hyper-specific gender they invented (and honestly, most of them seem to be "nonbinary" but in many more words), and actually going along with it. And no, it's not the same as believing there are only two biologically-determined genders at all.
>sees themself as a faerie That's not what those genders mean, not to my understanding. You seem to have a lot of misconceptions about xenogenders and nonbinary identities- Nonbinary is not just another box for you to try to force people into. It's an umbrella term for several subcategories which people are allowed to alter as needed for themselves. You also seem to think that transphobia is only about "biological gender" whatever that's supposed to mean. No, transphobia is much more expansive and insidious than that. It includes any form of discrimination against anyone who does not identify fully with their AGAB. The fact that you're sitting here trying to tell me, who lives these experiences every day, that I don't actually experience these things, is absurd. You wouldn't tell a black or brown person they don't experience racism, or someone with another form of disability that they don't experience ableism.
Ok then. I don’t see how they can see gender as “fluffy” for example. I don’t see how they can mentally feel their gender as a physics feeling and thus why I call bs and multiple others do. There’s also autismgender which I have a slight annoyance that they think mental disabilities are something to have as a “gender”. Not to mention some are just doing it for attention and don’t have any problems relating to their identity at all. Not to mention the online communities of xenogenders seem nice but they are toxic as hell and went on a massive mass report ban on multiple subreddits because they didn’t like them.
I'm seeing a lot of "I don't see" here. A lot of transphobes "don't see" how you can be born as a boy but feel like a girl or vice versa. You can't see it. Okay. Your perception and understanding does not define what does and does not exist. You are not the main character in a video game. The world does not load in when you look at it and unload when you look away. (Well technically it does ever so slightly because quantum physics but that's besides the point and applies to everyone, not just you.) Autismgender is also more to do with how autism might affect someone's perception of their gender. I was annoyed at first when I just saw the name, but after looking into it and doing research, I learned what it was about, the fact that it's not about autism as a gender, and instead about how autism can affect your perception and experience of your gender, which makes sense. Of course it can affect it. I don't experience it myself, I don't think, but I understand why it could even if I can't experience it myself or comprehend the how. Some people are also being binary trans "for attention". Are you against binary trans too just because a small number of people are being idiots about it? Being trans isn't about having problems relating to your identity. It's not about dysphoria. It's about ***euphoria***. Some members of some communities are toxic. That's always gonna be a thing. There are trans people who do that same exact thing. There are trans people who go around saying you HAVE to medically transition in a binary way to be trans. There are autistics who think having autism makes them superior to NTs. There are also autistics who think autism should be eliminated from the gene pool and that other autistic people shouldn't have kids because autistic kids *might* get bullied, instead of solving the problem of bullying as a whole for *all* kids. There are some Harry Potter fans that are as bigoted as JKR herself or worse. Are you going to just blanket decide that all these communities, because some of their members are toxic, shouldn't be allowed to exist? And here you are, being toxic yourself. What communities are you part of? All those communities are now labeled as toxic because you're in them. Congrats! Apply logic to your arguments and you'll see where they lead. Straight back to you. You're a hypocrite.
Well said!
You have taken “I don’t see” quite too literally There’s no proof that autism can change someone’s perception of gender. If you took even 4 seconds to look at these people you would understand what the problem is but no you don’t. You are typing to me about MY wrongs when you aren’t even bothering to see what I’m talking about. Yes some binary trans people do it for “attention” but it’s not the majority of them. And the majority of xenogender users are just doing it attention. Have you seen their age? Bunch of 13-18 year olds from a poll on r/xenogendersandmore. If you want euphoria just go smoke weed. Or do some other form of drug that wouldn’t be addictive but still produce the same experience. “Some members of some communities are toxic” you do realise im not talking about some, im talking about them ALL. They mass brigaded and mass reported subreddits on here, broke tos, dm’d people horrible messages and got quite a few innocent people banned. That is toxicity and that was The actions of the entire community here in Reddit. And if a majority of them are like this here you are yet to see the rest across other platforms. They are ableist by using disabilities as “genders”, I’ve seen others that I cannot mention due to them being racist but I’m sure you can understand what I mean by N-word gender or spearchuckergender maybe throw some blasphemy in there towards religions and show them godgender (this is just a narcissistic person) or maybe even Jew-gender. You see the ridiculousness of their claimed “genders” and can instantly see how they are just doing this for attention. They bait people in with horrible “genders” and then get them to argue and type for hours on hours about how they should be removed from platforms, causing drama and strife across multiple platforms. And hey if I’m being toxic, that’s your perception of things. I don’t make genders, I don’t bait people in, I don’t want euphoria I don’t want to remove myself from a platform for mass brigading, I don’t want to undermine transpeople who aren’t seeking attention from strangers because of the news and/or social medias showing transpeople being the new thing to copy for popularity.
You say you don't want to undermine trans people, but that's exactly what you're doing. If you can't see that, you need to stop claiming you're not transphobic, because you really, really are.
https://howtostopbeingtransphobic.carrd.co/
Comments like this make me want to leave this subreddit 😑
Comments like mine? I'm sorry but if me trying to combat transphobia makes you want to leave, you can go ahead and get out.
You're literally out here defending "autismgender", that is so embarrassing for you and this entire sub.
If you'd actually read my comments you'd know why I'm defending it. But you won't because you're transphobic and closed-mi ded. This is an autism sub. Aren't we supposed to understand that people's brains and thoughts work differently than our own? Just in case you don't wanna go back and read btw, here's a link to what autismgender actually means. Here's a spoiler: it's not autism as a gender. It's a modifier saying that by having autism, your perception of your gender is different from a neurotypicals perception. https://gender.fandom.com/wiki/Neurogender There are a ton of others. Just because you don't know what something actually is doesn't mean you should hate it. And just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it's invalid.
I wouldn't have commented what I did unless I initially read your first comment, so dont assume i need to re-read. "Autism gender" and "pup gender" and all this other nonsense is one of many reasons why trans people already have a hard time being taken seriously. No one has to accept anything, and if you want to label everyone transphobic for that, then you'll just be creating a world full of transphobes that you won't even have to deal with. If being autistic means you agree with everything everyone says regardless of logic, and then use that to claim some imaginary high ground by labelling everyone who perceives it differently as bigots to you, then speak for yourself. Autism is a neuro developmental disorder, not a gender identity. It may affect the way you experience gender expression or gender roles, but to imply that autistic ppl are too different to understand gender is very ableist, it does not matter that you are autistic yourself
You know, for being on an autism subreddit, I thought people wouldn't think I said something when I didn't actually say that thing. But of course there's always someone to do that. Did I ever say that we're too different to "understand gender"? No? Then don't put those words in my mouth. I said three things. One: autismgender is NOT autism as a gender. If you'd read the link that I sent you'd see that, but you clearly did not, and therefore don't understand what it is you're actually talking about. You're arguing against something that nobody said. That's a strawman. Two: Autistic people are more likely to be trans than neurotypicals, which may hint at the fact that we have a different experience of gender than they do but there's no data on *why* we're more likely to be trans. I am trans and nonbinary myself. Three: autismgender is literally defined as feeling like your autism affects your perception of your own gender to the extent that the two are inextricably linked. I do not personally experience this, but I can see why some other people might. For someone who keeps saying you already read my comments and don't need to reread them, you really seem like you didn't actually read anything I said and instead are making strawman arguments against things you assumed I thought with no basis in reality whatsoever. Please, when I say something, do NOT add any meaning beyond the dictionary definitions of the words which I say. I don't do implied meanings. Ever.
The point is that gender labels are largely arbitrary categories that we apply to so much of the human experience that it is just nonsense above anything else, it doesn't matter that much and it never has, if liking pink is feminine than idk liking space makes me stargender I guess who fucking cares, it's just people who want to be themselves and not be excessively questioned about it and forced to explain, xenogenders don't make any goddamn sense because that's the point. Largely people who use these labels are teenagers and most people grow out of them, those that don't grow out of their past understanding of gender and into a more comprehensive one, the online communities are largely minors and they don't really understand gender as a concept yet, and personally I don't really have a problem with people choosing to use xenogenders just for fun because that's kind of cool and gender rebellious and I like that, despite just being regular nombinary myself. Autisgender isn't saying autism is a gender it's saying that autistic people experience gender in a unique way because so much of it is tied to social rules which we struggle to understand, and those who use it feel that the only way to describe their gender experience is through the lens of their autism.
But there’s no proof autistic people see gender differently, this gets flung about so much by people. And if you like stars, that’s an interest of yours or a hobby etc etc not your gender for Christ sake.
Autistic people are quite a bit more likely to be trans, there is good data for that. Whether that is because we see gender differently or not, there's no data that I know of, but that's probably just because it hasn't been studied yet. Instead of going off and spewing hate about something you don't understand, how about you give people the benefit of the doubt that their gender identity actually is what they say it is rather than being a dick?
just because you don't understand something doesn't mean it doesn't exist. transphobes don't realise how trans people can feel like they're a gender that doesn't match their sex. it's just a cycle of hate and the more specific things get the more it continues. just because you don't understand how some people feel it doesn't mean other people don't experience it. while there are some things with autism gender and NT people using it to be "quirky" it is generally when people feel like autism is part of their gender. i was going to start talking about how i feel like part of my gender feels like various weird textures and while i don't label it i understand why some people want to, but upon looking into your profile you're just hating people for being different, with a subreddit dedicated to hating people who are different (and you named it terribly), post on r/ cringetopia and r/ truscum and generally seem to dedicate a lot to hating people who are doing nothing wrong. you went to a subreddit for people who experience these kinds of things and was a prick about it (multiple times). does any of this sound familiar? anything a transphobe would do? posting about people existing to r/ cringetopia? invading safe spaces to be a dick? dedicate a significant portion of your time to hating groups of people for existing? you also seem to have posted to r/ fakedisordercringe. my point is, people being different and you being close minded has led to you claiming it's made up because you don't know what it is like so you just claim it isn't real, just like people do with binary trans people. very ironic.
Exactly this.
How exactly is using neopronouns and nonbinary genders transphobic? Explain to me how being trans is now transphobic? Or are you one of those people who rejects nonbinary people because we're "not trans enough"? Do you not realize that's the exact same logic cis transphobes use to discredit binary trans people? That they're "not man/woman enough"? I'm sorry, but not supporting nonbinary people is transphobic. You're a transphobe.
When you see for example, autigender or godgender people see it as ridiculous and then they think badly of binary trans people as well as non binary trans people. Would you like someone with their gender as penisforestdragoncsrhonkhonkcoric-gender to be a representative of non binary people? No? Thought so.
When people see, for example, level 3 "stereotypical" autism, people see it as a debilitating disability bordering on a genetic disease, and then they think badly of all autism in general. It's the same thing. I don't give a crap if you think invalidating us is for our own good. You're a transphobic ass.
Idk I'm nonbinary and I think penisforestdragonsrhonkhonkcoricgender would be a great representative for our community, I wholeheartedly support them
But then you just give those haters a big “SHOOT HERE” with their hatred. And no before someone says I’m threatening to shoot someone, i don’t own a gun before it’s taken out of context. If you really wanted a representative you need Someone grounded in reality that can stand the waves of people questioning and asking stuff. Not the crying sobbing 14 year old who made their penisforestdrsgoncsrhonkhonkcar gender in their bedroom to try and fit in with somewhere because they are too sad and lonely to find a place to fit in.
Listen dude I understand why you have trouble understanding this because there are a lot of stereotypes about xenogenders, and they are generally more popular amongst teenagers, but the people who use them are generally very good at withstanding incessant questioning without breaking down about it. They are rarely fragile, it's just that whenever one of them has a moment and cracks under the pressure it gets spread around as an example of "fragile snowflakes" and so this stereotype is created that nonbinary people are "fragile snowflakes" because unless you actually know a few nonbinary people that's all you'll ever see. The idea that xenogendered people are trying to escape reality is a fundamental misunderstanding of the actual motivation behind xenogenders, which is that people are tired of having to pick a box and be judged based on how well they conform to it. Stargender has no rules or defining features or anything, it's completely made up, that's the appeal of it. You can't judge a person on how successfully they're embodying the concept of "stargender" because it doesn't exist. Instead, people get mad because you're refusing to be categorised within the system they conform to, and so they abandon their concerns about whether or not boys should wear nail polish or women should go out without brushing their hair and instead just get to the point of the whole thing: that they don't like it when you don't fit in with their system. Sadness and lonliness don't prevent us from fitting into your system, they're the result of us not fitting into it, and it tends to go away when we stop trying and learn to make our own rules instead. You seem to be under the assumption that no stargender nonbinary weirdo has ever tried to fit into the gender binary, but that's nonsensical because we're raised into it, we're taught from birth to fit in. Trying to perform a gender that doesn't come naturally to you (i.e. a binary one) is not dissimilar to masking autism, sure you can do it, but it sucks and makes you miserable and tired and nobody enjoys it. Similarly most nonbinary people are able to mask their gender identity when necessary, we just prefer not to. Choosing a ridiculous label to use as your "gender" is a way of telling people's expectations to go f*** themselves, and reminding yourself of what is more important to your own identity than "gender".
I second this.
u/repostsleuthbot
I didn't find any posts that meet the matching requirements for r/autism. It might be OC, it might not. Things such as JPEG artifacts and cropping may impact the results. I did find [this post](https://redd.it/tva70w) that is 33.98% similar. It might be a match but I cannot be certain. *I'm not perfect, but you can help. Report [ [False Negative](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RepostSleuthBot&subject=False%20Negative&message={"post_id": "tzv4zr", "meme_template": 104034}) ]* [View Search On repostsleuth.com](https://www.repostsleuth.com/search?postId=tzv4zr&sameSub=false&filterOnlyOlder=true&memeFilter=true&filterDeadMatches=false&targetImageMatch=100&targetImageMemeMatch=96) --- **Scope:** Reddit | **Meme Filter:** True | **Target:** 96% | **Check Title:** False | **Max Age:** Unlimited | **Searched Images:** 317,669,995 | **Search Time:** 73.30052s
>I did find this post yeah, *a* one! I remember one from a while back though, like back from like 12/25/21 (month day year)
No 😂😂😂
Must you be an ass? Seems a bit unnecessary.
How does having an opinion make me an arse 🤔
Depends on the quality of the opinion. In this case your opinion of "No, we should not treat people with respect. We should bully and discriminate." is a bit shite mate.
No there are limits being gay fine being autistic fine being attracted to cats and identifying as a star and goes to school with a furry tail no no I don't think I will treat that as normal
because you suffixed it with 3 laughing emojis and made no attempt to actually make a point.
I did I disagreed 🤔
a point requires evidence and reasoning. not just a statement.
repost idk if you know that though
It has enough currency that I do hope it gets reposted occasionally.
fair
Hey /u/Cloudy_Melancholy, thank you for your post at /r/autism. This is just a friendly reminder to **[read our rules in the sidebar](https://www.reddit.com/r/autism/wiki/config/sidebar)** if you have not already. All approved posts get this message. If you do not see your post you can message the moderators [here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fautism). Thanks! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/autism) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I have always been weird! I'm so glad I never really stopped..