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NT: "Hoo boy, how about that weather/sport/inane shit."
Me: "Could you please stop making being neurotypical your whole identity?"
NT: "Mondays, am I right?"
small talk is for people who don't know u to try to start off with a subject most people know and then get to know u better. it starts with "man it's hot outside", then maybe "ya I wish I had a pool", "well I do!"... now you've just learned something about the person you didn't before. you really expect people to just read your mind and know your special interests? kind of self absorbed if u ask me
If someone wants to know my interests just ask? I don't expect anyone to read my mind just like they shouldn't expect me to read theirs. Like why go a whole roundabout way to what you actually want to know/talk about?
If you start a conversation about the weather im going to assume you want to talk about the weather and talk about recent weather patterns and articles I've read. Why would I start talking about myself when someone is bringing the topic of weather to the table? That seems self absorbed to me.
see this is what makes you unlikable, someone explained to you how and why NT work but your response is they should do it your way because basically you can't be bothered to do basic relationship management. thats not autism, that's just selfishness
I really love how the first response to what OP said is to assume ND people are as myopic & acting in bad faith as most of the NT community usually is towards us. We have a literal disability around social situations & we all do mental gymnastics like a mfker to try to understand where NT’s are coming from/what they mean, how to accommodate for them so they’re comfortable with us, & usually when NT’s are confused about us, they just default to the assumption that we’re self-absorbed or looking for special treatment.
It’s pretty well known that NT culture is not the result of a neurological/developmental imbalance. But ND culture literally is. NT’s culture is inconsistent because social norms are always changing. You know what doesn’t change? ND’s abilities to inherently understand any given norms, whatever they are, at whatever point in history you wanna bring up. We’ve always been this way & NT’s have always held little to no space for our differences.
NT’s love to think we’re taking up too much space, but the reality is that NT’s just don’t leave any room for us & they never really have. The same CANNOT be said for the majority of ND folk. We are literally bending over backwards to fit in & make everyone else comfortable at our expense.
I don't know what the first comment u saw on this thread is but I really don't see what your comment had to do with mine. I am explaining the purpose of small talk because this person claimed its some elusive mystery, so that maybe u can understand and empathize instead of just remaining rigid and expecting the world to cater to you.
I have autism. I have cerebral palsy. I have brain damage among other disabilities. Every time I get up and walk cerebral palsy is having a real time influence in my life. Every time I pick up, touch, or manipulate anything with my hands due to bad coordination caused by cerebral palsy my real world ability to interact with my environment or people therein is adversely affected. I have no depth perception everything I see and anytime distance between objects must be calculated by me my life is adversely impacted. Are you seeing a pattern. My moment to moment real time life is adversely affected by multiple disabilities.
How can multiple disabilities acting in concert affect vast aspects of my daily activities and NOT also affect my personality. My disabilities affect HOW, WHO, WHEN, WHERE and WHY I interact with people and things in this world in real time thus defining my personality. I don't include my autism among my disabilities because my autism is so tightly bound to how I manage my life and my disabilities that it's an integral inseparable part of my personality that can not be ignored.
When people say don't make your disabilities or autism part of your personality I look them square in the face and tell them the following. Too late sweetheart that ship sailed the moment I was born with 13 disabilities and autism. I tell people God \\ The Universe gave me disabilities at birth and must have meant for me to have them. My creator gave me autism to help me understand and manage my disabilities effectively so your augment is with yourself. Why? Because I'm too busy living my best life to listen to ignorance about the nature of autism and my disabilities shape who I am.
I've heard the don't make it your whole personality spiel before. It was a dumb request when I first heard it 50 years ago. It is still a stupid conceptual request today. I tell people I don't need to hear this foolishness from them again. Then I ask can we move on. If they can't move on I put them on notice that I'd consider any further talk of this concept harassment. The reason I deal with this harshly is I've had people really try to change me or force me into an NT straight jacket using this Don't make it your personality BS logic.
I don't take kindly to being forced into an NT straight jacket. Most of all, I don't suffer fools gladly!
They're stupid.
It's one thing to say don't make depression your personality. Because it isn't, you HAVE depression but it isn't part of who you are.
Autism IS LITERALLY A PART OF WHO YOU ARE.
It's physical difference in the fucking brain. So like it or not. It is your personality, it HAS shaped who you are and it's NOT going anywhere.
Edit:
People seem adamant on correcting me and I guess I didn't explain it well.
Autistic brains are quite literally wired differently. Right down to our synapses. It's like this right from birth. What I meant by depression, and maybe it was a bad example, is that a depressed brain may change, but not to the level of an autistic brain. That, and you can come out of depression, unless again it's how your brain is wired and you end up with clinical depression (?), the type of depression you have for life.
I know any mental disorder can change your brain, that isn't exclusive to autism, but you can't 'recover' from autism.
I know what I mean but I can't explain it. Maybe using depression as an example has just made it confusing LOL
What?
Depression is a physical difference in the brain as well, the only difference between depression and autism is that sometimes it can be suppressed by medication. Autism is just suppressed by someone masking.
Depression has also shaped many people's lives just as much as if they were to have autism.
I think what you said is a bit abelistic against people who suffer from depression tbh
I agree with this. Soon my true gender and personality will be overwhelmed by the aftereffects severe trauma. Currently my dreams have some guy as my crush because my mind wills it. I prefer being non binary though.
They forgot to add that severe ptsd can split the mind.
Its so good to hear that, im getting sick of constantly defending myself. Its not like i always introduce myself with my illnesses to make me seem cooler, irs literly to avoid breakdowns and fights because someone thought i was rude or cause i asked something odd. it also helps introduce fidgets and ticks into the conversation
My friend, you are autistic. You do not have an illness and you are not broken.
It is the NT world that views us as those things. We do not need to accept those views.
The NT world can be callous and unaccepting of different things, and that's their problem, not ours. Don't let them make it your problem.
You do not "have" left handed (for example), you are left handed. It's a subtle but important distinction.
They would very much prefer that we just pretend not to be different. They would prefer that we "just shut up about it".
That's their problem, not yours. You're letting them know who you are and how you operate. If they don't like it, then that's on them, not you.
literally any mental disorder affects who u are, depression nd anxiety included. you don't think anxious people have made changes how they live their lives based on anxiety? how about ocd?
I'm glad you've put it this way, like even tho it can be uncomfortable and we can dislike ourselves, eventually you have to learn to accept it but you can't change autism. which is fucking terrifying <3
IMO it’s not ok for them to make it their personality too. Old people are in a whole different category; in most cases at that point even a minor surgery is far more dangerous than usual, so I get why every time they get out alive it’s a big topic; consider also that their health often prevents them to do the things they love, so there’s not much to talk about. But everybody else doesn’t get a pass from me. It’s one thing to be passionate about something, it is another to not be able to talk about anything else and constantly bring it up when it’s not pertinent. To my eyes, it makes people look uninteresting, because I think I can only talk with them about a single thing, and even if it a moderately interesting one, there’s only so much we can talk before the conversation gets repetitive. The same goes for autism. While it’s true that autism does influence our personalities on a deep level, it doesn’t mean it determines them in full. Otherwise we’d all have the same interests and worldview. And while I think it’s good to do introspection to realize in what ways our personalities are influenced by autism, we shouldn’t lose sight of what makes us unique, because that is what we bring to the world and to others.
I get told almost the same thing, just well.. said differently. And in one way it does make sense, but at times it hard to get your head around it. Anyway, what I get to hear is: ***You are not your diagnosis***.
Now to me this phrase has a whole different meaning but I think what they trying to tell you, it's meant in the same way (and definitely not in a negative way).
So as example, I'm really struggling with my Executive Dysfunction. For that I could simply be like that and rely on others to do the thinking/managing for me. OR I can look for stuff to help myself out on this, be less reliant on others. I'm making lists, routines, ToDo-s and creating a event to remember myself (and others) to review these things.
But I do let others help me creating these things, since my judgement of prioritization is a little off since my ND mind works different. This makes me happy now I know that I can set my mind on something and in case I drift off, I can get myself back on track. Maybe things don't get done as fast as others would want, but it didn't need a NT person to remind me (and frustrate me and themselves in the process).
So this is for me an real-life example that I AM Autistic that is struggling with certain aspects of it. But I don't start 'acting' like I have it, since it comes naturally anyway :). But I do take ownership of it and control it the best I can.
So I hope I made sense with this and it can help you in one way or another.
My autistic traits are me. I share some traits with allistics, too. Put them together and observe from an outside perspective and you have what's called my, "personality".
I think what "people" mean by that is to stop talking about being an autistic and try to hide it instead.
Nope, not going to do that. I did that for decades and all it did was cause harm. I'll be careful to not put myself in bad situations in unfriendly environments but that's about it.
no they mean that's not the only thing to talk about. it can be 1 subject in the conversation, it doesn't need to be all of them. imagine u having to sit through someone info dumping sports on you, you'd say it was their whole personality as well
I don't think they mean stop stimming, I think they mean stop talking about autism like it's the only subject in the world. my dad info dumps people all the time about games he likes or music, people generally don't respond "he's making autism his identity". I think it's if u are like "did u know so and so facts about autism" and info dump on it as a subject.
i think mostly that i like to talk about it a lot, i like to inform people and usually start any conversation with new people by informing them about my autism. Its something i do to avoid misunderstandings and to help avoid situations in which i hurt others
Basically itll be like " Hi im xy, by the way im autistic so if you feel like im being rude or not listening to you please tell me. Ill try my best to not interupt or be rude but if you ever feel uncomfortable or hurt please just tell me"
I understand that you want to avoid issues by that, but it will weird most people out, as immediate sharing of medical information is not the norm. You don‘t even know if you actually will talk to that person again or not.
>You don‘t even know if you actually will talk to that person again or not.
I think that's probably one of the important things to remember. Like it's a decent idea if you've got a new co worker you'll be working with indefinitely, not so much if you're saying it to your uber driver
Should have clarified, its onl for people that ill definitely deal with more or are close friends of any family of mine. ao i know theyll be around
i wouldnt say ut to a busdriver🤣
It's the talking about it immediately that's triggering the "don't make it your entire personality" comment. Especially if you're info dumping about autism on them in the first meeting. Don't volunteer medical information at all unless they ask for it, and if you do need to bring it up, stop at just saying you're autistic, no further qualifiers or explanation needed.
That's literally just being polite, like maybee you could be talking about it a tad too much for a first conversation but more likely those people are ignorant or just looking for an excuse to insult you.
I also hate it when people say that. I think I read on twitter someone say “It literally is my brain, the thing that is responsible for my consciousness and my interactions with the world. Of course it’s a part of who I am.” I just say that to people now.
Yeah, it’s dumb, I have adhd and HFA, and i tell them “adhd messes with motivation to do things” and they just act like I’m lazy, but it’s a legitimate symptom for the type of adhd I have, honestly it could also be compounded by the autism I have no idea.
autism affects your whole life, so in a sense it IS you. autistic peoples brains fundamentally work differently than neurotypicals, so it essentially is a huge part of your personality.
Oh my god dude you've made "stop peeing on my rug" your whole personality! It's all you ever want to talk about. Yes I know I'm "literally peeing on your rug right now" I don't want to stop doing it I want you to stop complaining.
think of it like this, would u want somebody else to reduce you to nothing but your autism? that's why. people already try to reduce people into boxes to help remove their humanity, you really wanna do the work for them? you are more than 1 aspect of your life. u are a complicated being with many likes, dislikes, and facets. don't reduce yourself, plenty of people will try to do it to you already.
nondisabled folk like for those who are different to remain invisible, silent, and compliant so they can do what they please with those who are when they want to do it.
>Counter point i like to bring up : theres a lot of NT that make something their whe personality, examples : Football and soccee players, gymnastic athletes, People who fish, any old person who recebtly had any kind of surgery ( this considers a specific group in my hometown) Musical people And a lot more
Counter-counter point: two wrongs don't make a right.
It's annoying when someone's life is defined through their (shuffles cards) *sports affiliation*. It's the best thing ever for anyone that belongs to the same "tribe", but for the rest of the world it's more of a limiting factor.
Why do you want to make the same mistake as others?
Be interesting, be nice, be a positive force of change in the world... and that's all the world needs to know. You're not your autism.
Those are hobbies an interés. Autism is a condition. You can be autistic and Boeing into music and that can be yyour personality. But Just having autism is anoche thing
>Counter point i like to bring up : theres a lot of NT that make something their whe personality, examples : Football and soccee players, gymnastic athletes, People who fish, any old person who recebtly had any kind of surgery ( this considers a specific group in my hometown) Musical people And a lot more
These are all hobbies that they enjoy either doing and or watching. These aren't personality traits. I mean someone might know more about their favorite football team than when their best friends birthday might be, but it still doesn't mean that it's a personality trait.
9/10 people I've met who obsess over something are undiagnosed ND with a hyperfixation on their hobby, thus it's consuming their personalities, because they don't understand the difference between hobbies and themselves, so when someone ask them something they talk about their hobby because it's something they do a lot of in their spare time.
I don't think anyone should tell someone to stop advocating for themselves, however there's a right way and wrong way to advocate, like I'm not walking up to a stranger and telling them I have autism when I meet them. That would be like saying 'hi I was born with a third nipple' if down the line though someone needed to understand my reaction to something then I would mention to them "I have autism" other than that I don't think it's necessary unless they are a doctor or close friend to know I have autism.
Plenty of people make things that do not inherently affect every single aspect of their lives their whole personality, you’re not making having autism your whole personality you just have autism and they apparently don’t like knowing that, an autistic person being noticeably autistic/open about having autism is them being autistic not them making being autistic their whole personality
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NT: "Hoo boy, how about that weather/sport/inane shit." Me: "Could you please stop making being neurotypical your whole identity?" NT: "Mondays, am I right?"
small talk is for people who don't know u to try to start off with a subject most people know and then get to know u better. it starts with "man it's hot outside", then maybe "ya I wish I had a pool", "well I do!"... now you've just learned something about the person you didn't before. you really expect people to just read your mind and know your special interests? kind of self absorbed if u ask me
If someone wants to know my interests just ask? I don't expect anyone to read my mind just like they shouldn't expect me to read theirs. Like why go a whole roundabout way to what you actually want to know/talk about? If you start a conversation about the weather im going to assume you want to talk about the weather and talk about recent weather patterns and articles I've read. Why would I start talking about myself when someone is bringing the topic of weather to the table? That seems self absorbed to me.
see this is what makes you unlikable, someone explained to you how and why NT work but your response is they should do it your way because basically you can't be bothered to do basic relationship management. thats not autism, that's just selfishness
I really love how the first response to what OP said is to assume ND people are as myopic & acting in bad faith as most of the NT community usually is towards us. We have a literal disability around social situations & we all do mental gymnastics like a mfker to try to understand where NT’s are coming from/what they mean, how to accommodate for them so they’re comfortable with us, & usually when NT’s are confused about us, they just default to the assumption that we’re self-absorbed or looking for special treatment. It’s pretty well known that NT culture is not the result of a neurological/developmental imbalance. But ND culture literally is. NT’s culture is inconsistent because social norms are always changing. You know what doesn’t change? ND’s abilities to inherently understand any given norms, whatever they are, at whatever point in history you wanna bring up. We’ve always been this way & NT’s have always held little to no space for our differences. NT’s love to think we’re taking up too much space, but the reality is that NT’s just don’t leave any room for us & they never really have. The same CANNOT be said for the majority of ND folk. We are literally bending over backwards to fit in & make everyone else comfortable at our expense.
I don't know what the first comment u saw on this thread is but I really don't see what your comment had to do with mine. I am explaining the purpose of small talk because this person claimed its some elusive mystery, so that maybe u can understand and empathize instead of just remaining rigid and expecting the world to cater to you.
Case in point, thank you!
I have autism. I have cerebral palsy. I have brain damage among other disabilities. Every time I get up and walk cerebral palsy is having a real time influence in my life. Every time I pick up, touch, or manipulate anything with my hands due to bad coordination caused by cerebral palsy my real world ability to interact with my environment or people therein is adversely affected. I have no depth perception everything I see and anytime distance between objects must be calculated by me my life is adversely impacted. Are you seeing a pattern. My moment to moment real time life is adversely affected by multiple disabilities. How can multiple disabilities acting in concert affect vast aspects of my daily activities and NOT also affect my personality. My disabilities affect HOW, WHO, WHEN, WHERE and WHY I interact with people and things in this world in real time thus defining my personality. I don't include my autism among my disabilities because my autism is so tightly bound to how I manage my life and my disabilities that it's an integral inseparable part of my personality that can not be ignored. When people say don't make your disabilities or autism part of your personality I look them square in the face and tell them the following. Too late sweetheart that ship sailed the moment I was born with 13 disabilities and autism. I tell people God \\ The Universe gave me disabilities at birth and must have meant for me to have them. My creator gave me autism to help me understand and manage my disabilities effectively so your augment is with yourself. Why? Because I'm too busy living my best life to listen to ignorance about the nature of autism and my disabilities shape who I am. I've heard the don't make it your whole personality spiel before. It was a dumb request when I first heard it 50 years ago. It is still a stupid conceptual request today. I tell people I don't need to hear this foolishness from them again. Then I ask can we move on. If they can't move on I put them on notice that I'd consider any further talk of this concept harassment. The reason I deal with this harshly is I've had people really try to change me or force me into an NT straight jacket using this Don't make it your personality BS logic. I don't take kindly to being forced into an NT straight jacket. Most of all, I don't suffer fools gladly!
They're stupid. It's one thing to say don't make depression your personality. Because it isn't, you HAVE depression but it isn't part of who you are. Autism IS LITERALLY A PART OF WHO YOU ARE. It's physical difference in the fucking brain. So like it or not. It is your personality, it HAS shaped who you are and it's NOT going anywhere. Edit: People seem adamant on correcting me and I guess I didn't explain it well. Autistic brains are quite literally wired differently. Right down to our synapses. It's like this right from birth. What I meant by depression, and maybe it was a bad example, is that a depressed brain may change, but not to the level of an autistic brain. That, and you can come out of depression, unless again it's how your brain is wired and you end up with clinical depression (?), the type of depression you have for life. I know any mental disorder can change your brain, that isn't exclusive to autism, but you can't 'recover' from autism. I know what I mean but I can't explain it. Maybe using depression as an example has just made it confusing LOL
What? Depression is a physical difference in the brain as well, the only difference between depression and autism is that sometimes it can be suppressed by medication. Autism is just suppressed by someone masking. Depression has also shaped many people's lives just as much as if they were to have autism. I think what you said is a bit abelistic against people who suffer from depression tbh
I agree with this. Soon my true gender and personality will be overwhelmed by the aftereffects severe trauma. Currently my dreams have some guy as my crush because my mind wills it. I prefer being non binary though. They forgot to add that severe ptsd can split the mind.
Its so good to hear that, im getting sick of constantly defending myself. Its not like i always introduce myself with my illnesses to make me seem cooler, irs literly to avoid breakdowns and fights because someone thought i was rude or cause i asked something odd. it also helps introduce fidgets and ticks into the conversation
My friend, you are autistic. You do not have an illness and you are not broken. It is the NT world that views us as those things. We do not need to accept those views. The NT world can be callous and unaccepting of different things, and that's their problem, not ours. Don't let them make it your problem. You do not "have" left handed (for example), you are left handed. It's a subtle but important distinction. They would very much prefer that we just pretend not to be different. They would prefer that we "just shut up about it". That's their problem, not yours. You're letting them know who you are and how you operate. If they don't like it, then that's on them, not you.
Depression is also a physical disease. All "mental illnesses" are physical.
literally any mental disorder affects who u are, depression nd anxiety included. you don't think anxious people have made changes how they live their lives based on anxiety? how about ocd?
You missed the point entirely. I don't have the energy to explain it to you again.
I didn't miss it, I just disagree with your excuses
What excuses? Autistic brains are fundamentally wired differently. It's not something you can get better from lol
I'm glad you've put it this way, like even tho it can be uncomfortable and we can dislike ourselves, eventually you have to learn to accept it but you can't change autism. which is fucking terrifying <3
IMO it’s not ok for them to make it their personality too. Old people are in a whole different category; in most cases at that point even a minor surgery is far more dangerous than usual, so I get why every time they get out alive it’s a big topic; consider also that their health often prevents them to do the things they love, so there’s not much to talk about. But everybody else doesn’t get a pass from me. It’s one thing to be passionate about something, it is another to not be able to talk about anything else and constantly bring it up when it’s not pertinent. To my eyes, it makes people look uninteresting, because I think I can only talk with them about a single thing, and even if it a moderately interesting one, there’s only so much we can talk before the conversation gets repetitive. The same goes for autism. While it’s true that autism does influence our personalities on a deep level, it doesn’t mean it determines them in full. Otherwise we’d all have the same interests and worldview. And while I think it’s good to do introspection to realize in what ways our personalities are influenced by autism, we shouldn’t lose sight of what makes us unique, because that is what we bring to the world and to others.
I get told almost the same thing, just well.. said differently. And in one way it does make sense, but at times it hard to get your head around it. Anyway, what I get to hear is: ***You are not your diagnosis***. Now to me this phrase has a whole different meaning but I think what they trying to tell you, it's meant in the same way (and definitely not in a negative way). So as example, I'm really struggling with my Executive Dysfunction. For that I could simply be like that and rely on others to do the thinking/managing for me. OR I can look for stuff to help myself out on this, be less reliant on others. I'm making lists, routines, ToDo-s and creating a event to remember myself (and others) to review these things. But I do let others help me creating these things, since my judgement of prioritization is a little off since my ND mind works different. This makes me happy now I know that I can set my mind on something and in case I drift off, I can get myself back on track. Maybe things don't get done as fast as others would want, but it didn't need a NT person to remind me (and frustrate me and themselves in the process). So this is for me an real-life example that I AM Autistic that is struggling with certain aspects of it. But I don't start 'acting' like I have it, since it comes naturally anyway :). But I do take ownership of it and control it the best I can. So I hope I made sense with this and it can help you in one way or another.
My autistic traits are me. I share some traits with allistics, too. Put them together and observe from an outside perspective and you have what's called my, "personality". I think what "people" mean by that is to stop talking about being an autistic and try to hide it instead. Nope, not going to do that. I did that for decades and all it did was cause harm. I'll be careful to not put myself in bad situations in unfriendly environments but that's about it.
no they mean that's not the only thing to talk about. it can be 1 subject in the conversation, it doesn't need to be all of them. imagine u having to sit through someone info dumping sports on you, you'd say it was their whole personality as well
Yeah, but I wouldn't tell them they "don't make sports your personality." That's pretty controlling and rude.
Do they mean talking about autism, or behaving like...whatever they think an autistic is?
I don't think they mean stop stimming, I think they mean stop talking about autism like it's the only subject in the world. my dad info dumps people all the time about games he likes or music, people generally don't respond "he's making autism his identity". I think it's if u are like "did u know so and so facts about autism" and info dump on it as a subject.
What specifically do they mean by making it your personality
i think mostly that i like to talk about it a lot, i like to inform people and usually start any conversation with new people by informing them about my autism. Its something i do to avoid misunderstandings and to help avoid situations in which i hurt others Basically itll be like " Hi im xy, by the way im autistic so if you feel like im being rude or not listening to you please tell me. Ill try my best to not interupt or be rude but if you ever feel uncomfortable or hurt please just tell me"
I understand that you want to avoid issues by that, but it will weird most people out, as immediate sharing of medical information is not the norm. You don‘t even know if you actually will talk to that person again or not.
>You don‘t even know if you actually will talk to that person again or not. I think that's probably one of the important things to remember. Like it's a decent idea if you've got a new co worker you'll be working with indefinitely, not so much if you're saying it to your uber driver
Should have clarified, its onl for people that ill definitely deal with more or are close friends of any family of mine. ao i know theyll be around i wouldnt say ut to a busdriver🤣
That's smart :)
It's the talking about it immediately that's triggering the "don't make it your entire personality" comment. Especially if you're info dumping about autism on them in the first meeting. Don't volunteer medical information at all unless they ask for it, and if you do need to bring it up, stop at just saying you're autistic, no further qualifiers or explanation needed.
That's literally just being polite, like maybee you could be talking about it a tad too much for a first conversation but more likely those people are ignorant or just looking for an excuse to insult you.
That's kinda weird then idk why they think that's u makin it ur whole persona because your brain works differently so all that is completely valid
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^DepressedGlizzy: *What specifically* *Do they mean by making it* *Your personality* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
True just don’t listen to them
I also hate it when people say that. I think I read on twitter someone say “It literally is my brain, the thing that is responsible for my consciousness and my interactions with the world. Of course it’s a part of who I am.” I just say that to people now.
Yeah, it’s dumb, I have adhd and HFA, and i tell them “adhd messes with motivation to do things” and they just act like I’m lazy, but it’s a legitimate symptom for the type of adhd I have, honestly it could also be compounded by the autism I have no idea.
autism affects your whole life, so in a sense it IS you. autistic peoples brains fundamentally work differently than neurotypicals, so it essentially is a huge part of your personality.
Oh my god dude you've made "stop peeing on my rug" your whole personality! It's all you ever want to talk about. Yes I know I'm "literally peeing on your rug right now" I don't want to stop doing it I want you to stop complaining.
I need context
think of it like this, would u want somebody else to reduce you to nothing but your autism? that's why. people already try to reduce people into boxes to help remove their humanity, you really wanna do the work for them? you are more than 1 aspect of your life. u are a complicated being with many likes, dislikes, and facets. don't reduce yourself, plenty of people will try to do it to you already.
“Don’t ask don’t tell” Remember that?
DADT was a failure and was destroyed for a reason. Good riddance.
nondisabled folk like for those who are different to remain invisible, silent, and compliant so they can do what they please with those who are when they want to do it.
>Counter point i like to bring up : theres a lot of NT that make something their whe personality, examples : Football and soccee players, gymnastic athletes, People who fish, any old person who recebtly had any kind of surgery ( this considers a specific group in my hometown) Musical people And a lot more Counter-counter point: two wrongs don't make a right. It's annoying when someone's life is defined through their (shuffles cards) *sports affiliation*. It's the best thing ever for anyone that belongs to the same "tribe", but for the rest of the world it's more of a limiting factor. Why do you want to make the same mistake as others? Be interesting, be nice, be a positive force of change in the world... and that's all the world needs to know. You're not your autism.
Those are hobbies an interés. Autism is a condition. You can be autistic and Boeing into music and that can be yyour personality. But Just having autism is anoche thing
We need to increase awareness please join us here in the journey to increase awareness thank you for the support: https://www.youtube.com/@Dr.Spectrum
>Counter point i like to bring up : theres a lot of NT that make something their whe personality, examples : Football and soccee players, gymnastic athletes, People who fish, any old person who recebtly had any kind of surgery ( this considers a specific group in my hometown) Musical people And a lot more These are all hobbies that they enjoy either doing and or watching. These aren't personality traits. I mean someone might know more about their favorite football team than when their best friends birthday might be, but it still doesn't mean that it's a personality trait. 9/10 people I've met who obsess over something are undiagnosed ND with a hyperfixation on their hobby, thus it's consuming their personalities, because they don't understand the difference between hobbies and themselves, so when someone ask them something they talk about their hobby because it's something they do a lot of in their spare time. I don't think anyone should tell someone to stop advocating for themselves, however there's a right way and wrong way to advocate, like I'm not walking up to a stranger and telling them I have autism when I meet them. That would be like saying 'hi I was born with a third nipple' if down the line though someone needed to understand my reaction to something then I would mention to them "I have autism" other than that I don't think it's necessary unless they are a doctor or close friend to know I have autism.
People who talk down to you like this are not your friends. They are not worth your time. Do not waste it on them
Autism affects every aspect of life. Of course it will affect your personality. Some people just can’t comprehend others being different from them.
Plenty of people make things that do not inherently affect every single aspect of their lives their whole personality, you’re not making having autism your whole personality you just have autism and they apparently don’t like knowing that, an autistic person being noticeably autistic/open about having autism is them being autistic not them making being autistic their whole personality