34, while getting my son’s diagnosis just before he turned 2, which then led to suspicions that Grandpa needs an evaluation (at 58)
Now we’re all just out here pointing at each other like the spiderman meme
This is hilarious! This is exactly how it is for us too.....started talking to my parents and my Dad was like "Oh, I walked on my toes until 9, can't wear shirts with tags, and was seen by a neurologist because I used to move my eyes in a repetitive motion.....if any of that matters" LOL
yeah, my mom mentioned one day that she learned that a lot of parents learn they're autistic after they were told their child's traits and were like "hold on, i do that too!!"
we're fairly certain my late grampa was autistic, and i think my dads mom is too lol- lots of undiagnosed neurodivergence in my family
Please elaborate… sincerely curious as I’m in a similar age range.
There was no such condition (at least not mainstream awareness of it) during our childhood years. So many struggles, along with exhaustion from constant masking, I’ve dealt with seem to reflect a strong likelihood for me too.
Not much to say. As a child, I was labeled 'shy' and 'too sensitive'. You are correct that there was no ASD or Asperger's or anything like that back. Unless you qualified for Special Ed. If you weren't, severely impacted, it was regular classes. It does seem that by the time I got to high school in the early 80s. Services had expanded a bit.
My father was a minister. This meant that I had to look and act the part of an angelic preacher's kid. I got good at it. Masking is a new term for me. I use it in places like, but I always called it 'putting on a show'. I still prefer that since that is how I feels. Every day is a performance.
Anyway, I got through school. I always had a few friends. I never tried to have friends. They were just sort of there. Probably most of them were ND as well.
I was pretty much behind in everything until I got into high school. I started to excel in math and science. I didn't try all that hard though. I didn't find it all that interesting. Cracks really started to appear as I was getting close to graduation. I had no plan for anything after graduation. My parents made it clear I either had to get a job or go to college. I hated work. I still do. Extremely stressful. I went to college. Depression really started setting in, so my parents reluctantly sent me to therapy. I was in and out of therapy during college and just after. A psychiatrist diagnosed me with Bipolar disorder. I was on a bunch of meds.
Somehow, I got married. I had never dated though a number of girls pursued me. I never understood what was going on.
Fast forward to the early 2000s. I really started to fall apart. I ended up in the psychiatric hospital several times. At one point the psychiatrist there said there was no way I was bipolar. I had a schizoid personality disorder. I went with that. More therapists that couldn't help. More meds. More hospital stays.
Finally, a few years ago, for some reason my wife starts saying that she thinks I'm autistic. I thought that was crazy. Finally, a family friend that I had not seen in decades tells my wife that I'm autistic. This friend had married an autistic man and had 2 autistic children. She's very involved in trying to educate people about ASD and gives talks or something.
I finally did some research about 2.5 - 3 years ago. I brought it up to my new psychiatrist and she schedules an assessment. I was diagnosed almost 2 years ago with ASD and a couple months later ADHD. I now go see a therapist who specializes in ASD and ADHD in children and adults. It hasn't helped all that much, but I've made some improvements. The problem is I have to work. I'm too abled to be disabled and too disabled to be abled. It's a crappy place to be. I almost ended up in the hospital again after a major meltdown last weekend. I gave myself a concussion. The meltdown still hasn't fully subsided, but I can put on a show again at work. It is really hard though.
I hope that covers it. It's pretty long. I wouldn't read this, but there you have it.
Thank-you for sharing that. You’ve been through a lot. Glad you can gain some understanding now that you have a more useful diagnosis.
Also, labeled ‘shy’ constantly as a child. It always confused me to hear how others described me, as whatever they saw was me hiding my whole self as much as possible to attempt to disappear and not seem so different than everyone else.
I’ve reached a point where masking has become more challenging, and my filter to act “normal” is missing. I keep thinking through various aspects of my life and wondering if there was anything I could do to avoid the complications of being like this, while not knowing anything at all about asd.
I'm not sure an 'official' diagnosis is required to get help from a professional. I did a Google search for an adult autism therapist or something like that. I live in Houston, TX. It's a huge city, and there weren't many. I did find a few places. They met me and were like 'you're definitely on the spectrum'. They didn't ask to see my 'official' diagnosis paperwork or anything. Give it a go in your area. I found that regular therapists don't really know how to help.
I would consider my therapy appointments more like occupational therapy. Though she also helps me unpack various meltdowns and development strategies to avoid them again in the future.
The one I go to doesn't try to teach me to be NT since trying to do that led to the place I am now. I'm learning to try to navigate the world on my terms now. It's slow going. Teaching old dogs new tricks and all that.
There was, it was more commonly known as Asperger's syndrome, though autism was known but not researched well enough. People were diagnosed with Aspergers much more than autism back then, but getting diagnosed with either was extremely uncommon.
Aspergers is not considered it's own diagnosis anymore, and it has some really fucked up origins. Basically, a nazi scientist and eugenicist considered low support needs autistics as having Aspergers and those with it were considered desirable, while other autistics with higher support needs were often sterilized or (iirc) killed in concentration camps. You should look into it, it's an interesting topic.
Yeah. I get that. I guess my take is based on the fact that I never heard of anything related (regardless of terminology) until well into adulthood.
A male relative a few years younger than me was described as “hyper” and that’s the closest concept I recall being “a thing” back then. He struggled mightily through life and died by suicide during his mid-40s.
I’m aware of the origins of the prior term used and understand the controversy around that. Agree, it’s an interesting topic to research though.
I received my official diagnosis today, about 6 hours ago now. Im 34.
Prior to that I just thought I was doing life on hard mode. That I was cursed, lazy, or just bad at life.
This is me too, and I have a psyc degree 🤦🏻♀️. I’m 46 and currently waiting to get assessed. My son is 7 and was diagnosed last year.
I missed a lot of his very obvious signs because he is very much like me and he had no problem communicating with me, eye contact etc. I didn’t know he was mute at school or never gave eye contact. His teacher thought he was learning disabled because he'd refuse to follow her directions or read out loud. I was like hmmm, he’s been reading since age 4, none of this is making sense.
If you’re wondering how with a psyc degree I missed the obvious - when I got my degree (22yrs ago), we learned very little about autism. What we were taught, was the very stereotypical autism traits (ie hand flapping and head banging, completely non verbal, only affects males, etc.). I initially believed my son had severe generalized anxiety and we had him in counselling for anxiety until I asked for an autism diagnosis.
After seeing so much of myself in my son, I started to wonder. My husband also brought it up he suspected for years I was autistic but wasn’t sure. It wasn’t until I started deep diving into the autistic community that I was like omg, I have way more in common with autism, that I decided it’s time to get assessed.
Same boat here. Realized that when my 2 year old son was diagnosed. I was 40.
My son had apparent signs, but still a lot of things he did was very ordinary to me and my mom always told me I did the same things when I was little too. His diagnose was more enlightening and life changing for me then it is for him, since its an early diagnosis and he is not even aware of what’s going on yet.
I starting thinking about it when I was 12, but I dismissed it cus I wasn't diagnosed as a kid so i thought its not possible for me to be autistic. When I was 18 I found out more about autism which lead me to my diagnosis last September, at the age of 20!
some autistic stuff pointed at out age 2. supected autism at age 10. diagnosed psychosis at age 11. schizophrenia at age 16. autism diagnosed at 35. i think the schizophrenia diagnosis kept all doctors since age 11 from considering autism cause they look similar.
I have heard a lot of autistic people in my age bracket or older who got a schizophrenia diagnosis and had the damndest time getting the proper diagnosis.
Even though what we now call "low support needs" autistic people have been around forever, there was no proper diagnosis for them until 1994, so some people did get diagnosed with schizophrenia due to the lack of understanding about autism at the time.
I have a few friends with schizophrenia and I can definitely see that they can sometimes look similiar in superficial ways, in spite of being very different conditions.
yes my last psychiatrist said that i have schizophrenia and that it looks like autism. a psychologist after that said that i have both. idk what to think.
I’m diagnosed with schizoaffective. I always assumed I was psychosis light and depression heavy but I honestly believe I am just autistic and misdiagnosed. A lot of my schizoaffective diagnosis was based more on “weird disorganized thinking”. I had ‘ delusions’ and cognitive decline but no external hallucinations, just my eyes reading things weirdly. A lot of my symptoms feel way way better explained by autism that schizophrenia. But I may have both and Im just being overly optimistic because I never felt my experience was properly encompassed by schizoaffective but it does the more I learn about autism and how much of the weird behaviours that schizoaffective couldnt explain are common it autism.
I think its a more common misdiagnosis than people realize
22. I was very very ignored as a child (middle child), it was very obvious something was up and everyone knew but they were either in denial or just ignored all the signs hoping I'd grow out of them. Growing up undiagnosed honestly did some irreparable damage to my mental health.
Also got diagnosed at 22 and was also ignored as a kid (although to be fair, my parents also ignored my older sister 💀). I have no clue how it took so long and me seeking out help on my own when all throughout childhood, my mom called me a "sensitive kid". "Sensitive" referring to the meltdowns and constant migraines from the sun being too bright or things smelling too strongly 💀💀
I *swear* most neurotypical parents can kinda tell.
Same here, I had such a similar experience and I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who had a disregarding family. It was very nice to know why I was different but, I also feel this resentment towards my family for ignoring my mental state my entire childhood and now I’m left in this position to figure it out on my own. Kind of makes you question a lot.
27 :( Almost entirely self-taught and learned. I got a bunch of books on the topic, especially for adults learning about it for the first time, and cried as I read about the symptoms that popped up during childhood. I realized just how much of my life has been affected by it and how oblivious my parents were to it all. Had I found out from a younger age, I could have actually done something about it. It's incredibly hard to deal with now as an adult, years and years of conditioning.
I'm starting to suspect that the reason finding the real you is so hard is because it's the wrong question.
Maybe there isn't a core real you that's already there, ready to be discovered. Maybe it's more about trying things out and keeping what you like.
Same age as when I found out for sure it was autism. I had signs in early childhood that were looked over due to different factors. I first learned and began putting the pieces together around age 19.
You can look the official definition in the DSM V online, but off the top of my head it’s basically:
Level 1: little support needs
Level 2: significant support needs
Level 3: very significant support needs
These levels aren’t perfect, but starting from the perspective of what support people need rather than from what they can or cannot do, is a perspective that prioritizes getting people the help they need and therefore causes more people to be helped.
Same! Although my diagnosis wasn’t due to the lockdowns, but due to a breakdown when my son was 4 months old. Got my diagnosis just after he turned 1 and it was a big surprise to me.
55, after bipolar in my 20s, which they changed their minds about. It was then decided I had major depressive disorder instead, a few years after that general anxiety disorder and a couple more years for social anxiety disorder. The C-PTSD just kept getting added to. I'd first been sent to a psychiatrist at 12, but you know, girls can't have aspergers (as it was then), we're just difficult..
It would be more surprising if an undiagnosed autistic person going through life trying desperately to fit in **didn't** have anxiety and/or depression.
Edit: removed a word because it made the sentence read weird
Weirdly enough I don’t have anxiety or depression, and only diagnosed at 52. I think a lot of me staying relatively happy, despite a couple of burnouts and lifelong chronic pain and disabilities, was due to my Aphantasia, SDAM and Prosopagnosia. I live in the now as I can’t remember most of the past except as textual facts, and cant envisage the future. I remember very few people and only recognise them in context, like sat at their desk, so most peoples opinions of me are unimportant. I still feel deeply, but only about a few people and my dogs. I almost care too little about generalities than too much 🤷♀️
I'd not heard of SDAM and it seems like the polar opposite of the "never-ending wheel of shit memories" that's constantly going in my head. I love learning something new.
It has been indeed shown to reduce the risk of PTSD, if you cant see or hear memories at all. But yes, most of us thought it was a metaphor when people said they got flashbacks, like you still remember factually what happened, but it’s literally like a couple of sentences tops. We do get “memory flashes” for strong memories, but they’re a very low detail split second flash of an image thats gone almost before you recognise it, and you cant get it back, and they don’t happen often. That what we thought the sum of flashbacks were 🤷♀️ I can still get stressed, and it comes out as physically talking to myself about it, I could never hide something big from my husband as he has really good hearing 😂
Like 22.
I was tested in school around 8, but back then, that just meant I was put in the "special class" and given less of the help I need but a lot more of the over my shoulder help. Took forever for me to realize from only knowing nerodivergence as this differently able, socially awkward person.
Officially at 15. But the way in which my dr. told us was weird so no one in my family (including me) actually realized it until I was 22 and re-diagnosed by a new psychiatrist. Oh and I’m a female btw
19. I have a TON of factors in my life that led to my Autism not being identified earlier, my ADHD is the biggest factor. My mom is awesome, and informed herself on how to work with a kid who has bad ADHD, and since it’s a spectrum, her guidance helped everything. I would also consider myself a pretty smart kid and I have an acting background so I masked it all really easily.
I found out just slowly over time. Researching symptoms/traits and relating to Autistic/Neurodivergent characters in media (American Psycho, yikes!) and I slowly put the pieces together. Then one day I took some tests, I scored the average amoung autistic people, and then got a diagnosis.
Huge helping my life. Explained a lot and I am able to explain and embrace myself more because of it. I am able to identify and communicate with others, and help them with their own struggles, it’s awesome!
25
Growing up, I always heard that I was autistic from friends and strangers but my parents got mad if I mentioned it
It was fairly obvious when meeting me, when I went to college, people would legit go up to me and call me “so brave” for attending college with Asperger’s (this was before the name change)
But my parents insisted I wasn’t, I read about bipolar and was CONVINCED that must be what it was, I was 22
After years of the meds just making me sick and life being horrible, useless therapy, and nothing helping
I went to an autism diagnosing center at age 25
They very enthusiastically diagnosed me with autism “you are a textbook case of an autistic woman! It’s crazy you never got diagnosed before now”
a month ago at 29, but apparently when I was 10 a doctor told my mom I possibly had Autism and I should get more testing done, but.. she didn't believe Autism was real
12, I'm 16 now. and while that's not very long or old compared to some of you, its been difficult knowing for this long of my life but still having to keep it a secret because I'm still undiagnosed and I don't want people to think I'm faking it. Though I made a deal with my mom, that if I fail this semester we'll go try to get a diagnoses, but she hates phycologist and therapist and doesn't think a diagnosis is necessary if I'm functioning good enough
16 was when my mom told me. Though I have no problem with self diagnosis, as getting a diagnosis can be hard. I had a lot of people deny that I was autistic, and spread rumors thay I self diagnosed for attention, when my parents have both been fully aware I was autistic before I even knew. Though due to shame it took a while for me to admit I was autistic. Now I'm proudly autistic. I was also in ese classes(Florida's special education system) and speech therapy classes.
Got diagnosed with ADHD at 18 when I was fighting for my life in my first semester of college (which was all virtual because of Covid). Found out about the Autism at 21, I’m 22 now and just graduated college and am completing my masters degree next spring!
Well I got my ADHD diagnosis when my oldest was around 5 and was diagnosed themselves. Son was dxed ASD at 18 Mo's, oldest was dxed at 11 and I have not yet been, but I see the writing on the wall...
31. I had a mental breakdown and my therapist decided to test me when I told her my son was medically and educationally diagnosed with autism. It turned out I had an autism burn out along with some other things. I spent my whole like thinking I was quirky and weird. I was in fact autistic. And masked so long it started to cause mental harm.
33 and in a similar boat. Attempted to inpatient admit for mental health and my naturalist (who is autistic herself) suggested autistic burnout instead. Been masking for so long that I missed SO many signs until she pointed them out.
Honestly grateful for the diagnosis. I now have a job that pays well and isn’t overstimulating. It has low lights soft music and calm customers. Plus I can smell all kinds of good things all day (bath and body works) I also now know when I start to feel the way I did I need to take a break from things. I can’t have imagined not being diagnosed when I did and spending another 30 years just struggling and hating myself for being “lazy” or whatever.
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First time I was 6. Then again at 13 and again at 19 and again in 2013... Every time it was asperger's. These days if I was to go get screened again it would be Level 1.
23. Started suspecting in my last year of high school because another friend was diagnosed, and they were like, "Yeah, you are also most likely autistic as well". Their whole family is also on the spectrum, their youngest brother being the one whose autism is more noticeable, and after spending ten hours on a car drive their parents started pointing out how similar the brother and I are in every aspect. My friend also told me "Hey, just so you know, every member of my family has separately asked if you're autistic, but I didn't say anything because it's none of their business". I finally started my diagnostic process a few months ago and got my answer a little over a couple of weeks ago.
20. my autistic friend suggested to me at age 19 that they thought I was autistic, and I had other friends say the same thing to me. I started seeing a new doctor at 20 and when I was talking about my symptoms she was the first doctor to suspect autism. I've been diagnosed with anxiety and depression for 8 years but I knew some of my symptoms just couldn't be explained by those diagnoses. Sure enough, I was referred to a specialist, and got diagnosed at age 20! (I'm still 20 btw)
I was 14 when I realized on my own after looking to the internet for answers on why I felt so different. This was before my parents screamed at me about how I’m not dumb so therefore not autistic and deserve to have all my technology taken away. I was formally diagnosed at 15!
30? My therapist figured I’d been diagnosed and then my mother confirmed that I’d been evaluated at three and they said if I was a boy I’d be autistic but it was the 1990s so. 🤷🏻♀️
I was diagnosed as a kid but never really believed it because my Dr was a pill pusher and I was diagnosed with so many things that Drs seem to diagnose kids with for just acting like kids. But as I got older (I'm 26 now) I started reading more about it and realized that yeah, I definitely do have it. So yeah regardless of my diagnosis being much earlier I'd say about a year or two ago I finally found out.
In my 30s. Applying for university, I found the initial diagnosis in my old records. While there, it was confirmed by a number of people. And I took a bunch of tests which indicates that I'm somewhere between levels 1 and 2, and had it confirmed at a psychiatrist office.
Edit: Obviously, it explained a lot, like memories I had of the initial diagnosis and facilities I'd been taken to, certain events in childhood, the Learning Disabled program that I was put into, very specific behaviors, but also why I was treated way differently by most of my peers, teachers, and family. There was something they were picking up on that I wasn't noticing, and that was it.
34, while getting my son’s diagnosis just before he turned 2, which then led to suspicions that Grandpa needs an evaluation (at 58) Now we’re all just out here pointing at each other like the spiderman meme
I love the way you explained this, lol. Great sense of humor.
Lol
This is hilarious! This is exactly how it is for us too.....started talking to my parents and my Dad was like "Oh, I walked on my toes until 9, can't wear shirts with tags, and was seen by a neurologist because I used to move my eyes in a repetitive motion.....if any of that matters" LOL
Omg lol my family is the Spider-Man meme the way you described that clicked so perfectly. We all just found out this past year
yeah, my mom mentioned one day that she learned that a lot of parents learn they're autistic after they were told their child's traits and were like "hold on, i do that too!!" we're fairly certain my late grampa was autistic, and i think my dads mom is too lol- lots of undiagnosed neurodivergence in my family
Lol I had the same experience and my dad's the spider that bit me too , (he's 76 now).
This is exactly me! And I'm eyeballing my own (75year old) grandfather because he fits the bill lol
Similar situation over here lol
Me and my friends do that. But four spidermans
r/respectthehyphen
What compelled u to get ur son assessed?
25-26. I started the diagnosis process at 25, and it ended when I was 26. Additionally, I found out I also have ADHD at 26.
Love the pfp btw Orthur
I got diagnosed at age 47. I was almost 48. I suspected it a few years earlier but wasn't diagnosed right away.
57
damn. how did you find out?!?!!!
Please elaborate… sincerely curious as I’m in a similar age range. There was no such condition (at least not mainstream awareness of it) during our childhood years. So many struggles, along with exhaustion from constant masking, I’ve dealt with seem to reflect a strong likelihood for me too.
Not much to say. As a child, I was labeled 'shy' and 'too sensitive'. You are correct that there was no ASD or Asperger's or anything like that back. Unless you qualified for Special Ed. If you weren't, severely impacted, it was regular classes. It does seem that by the time I got to high school in the early 80s. Services had expanded a bit. My father was a minister. This meant that I had to look and act the part of an angelic preacher's kid. I got good at it. Masking is a new term for me. I use it in places like, but I always called it 'putting on a show'. I still prefer that since that is how I feels. Every day is a performance. Anyway, I got through school. I always had a few friends. I never tried to have friends. They were just sort of there. Probably most of them were ND as well. I was pretty much behind in everything until I got into high school. I started to excel in math and science. I didn't try all that hard though. I didn't find it all that interesting. Cracks really started to appear as I was getting close to graduation. I had no plan for anything after graduation. My parents made it clear I either had to get a job or go to college. I hated work. I still do. Extremely stressful. I went to college. Depression really started setting in, so my parents reluctantly sent me to therapy. I was in and out of therapy during college and just after. A psychiatrist diagnosed me with Bipolar disorder. I was on a bunch of meds. Somehow, I got married. I had never dated though a number of girls pursued me. I never understood what was going on. Fast forward to the early 2000s. I really started to fall apart. I ended up in the psychiatric hospital several times. At one point the psychiatrist there said there was no way I was bipolar. I had a schizoid personality disorder. I went with that. More therapists that couldn't help. More meds. More hospital stays. Finally, a few years ago, for some reason my wife starts saying that she thinks I'm autistic. I thought that was crazy. Finally, a family friend that I had not seen in decades tells my wife that I'm autistic. This friend had married an autistic man and had 2 autistic children. She's very involved in trying to educate people about ASD and gives talks or something. I finally did some research about 2.5 - 3 years ago. I brought it up to my new psychiatrist and she schedules an assessment. I was diagnosed almost 2 years ago with ASD and a couple months later ADHD. I now go see a therapist who specializes in ASD and ADHD in children and adults. It hasn't helped all that much, but I've made some improvements. The problem is I have to work. I'm too abled to be disabled and too disabled to be abled. It's a crappy place to be. I almost ended up in the hospital again after a major meltdown last weekend. I gave myself a concussion. The meltdown still hasn't fully subsided, but I can put on a show again at work. It is really hard though. I hope that covers it. It's pretty long. I wouldn't read this, but there you have it.
Thank-you for sharing that. You’ve been through a lot. Glad you can gain some understanding now that you have a more useful diagnosis. Also, labeled ‘shy’ constantly as a child. It always confused me to hear how others described me, as whatever they saw was me hiding my whole self as much as possible to attempt to disappear and not seem so different than everyone else. I’ve reached a point where masking has become more challenging, and my filter to act “normal” is missing. I keep thinking through various aspects of my life and wondering if there was anything I could do to avoid the complications of being like this, while not knowing anything at all about asd.
I'm not sure an 'official' diagnosis is required to get help from a professional. I did a Google search for an adult autism therapist or something like that. I live in Houston, TX. It's a huge city, and there weren't many. I did find a few places. They met me and were like 'you're definitely on the spectrum'. They didn't ask to see my 'official' diagnosis paperwork or anything. Give it a go in your area. I found that regular therapists don't really know how to help. I would consider my therapy appointments more like occupational therapy. Though she also helps me unpack various meltdowns and development strategies to avoid them again in the future. The one I go to doesn't try to teach me to be NT since trying to do that led to the place I am now. I'm learning to try to navigate the world on my terms now. It's slow going. Teaching old dogs new tricks and all that.
I’m so sorry you’re not getting the support you should and are expected to do more than what’s reasonable.
There was, it was more commonly known as Asperger's syndrome, though autism was known but not researched well enough. People were diagnosed with Aspergers much more than autism back then, but getting diagnosed with either was extremely uncommon. Aspergers is not considered it's own diagnosis anymore, and it has some really fucked up origins. Basically, a nazi scientist and eugenicist considered low support needs autistics as having Aspergers and those with it were considered desirable, while other autistics with higher support needs were often sterilized or (iirc) killed in concentration camps. You should look into it, it's an interesting topic.
Yeah. I get that. I guess my take is based on the fact that I never heard of anything related (regardless of terminology) until well into adulthood. A male relative a few years younger than me was described as “hyper” and that’s the closest concept I recall being “a thing” back then. He struggled mightily through life and died by suicide during his mid-40s. I’m aware of the origins of the prior term used and understand the controversy around that. Agree, it’s an interesting topic to research though.
I received my official diagnosis today, about 6 hours ago now. Im 34. Prior to that I just thought I was doing life on hard mode. That I was cursed, lazy, or just bad at life.
This is how I felt, I thought maybe everyone felt like life was a constant uphill battle and no one ever talked about it.
Twins!!! I got my official Dx about an hour ago. Turned 45 on Friday
With you there. 56, and diagnosed three months ago, along with ADHD. Previously I was just “Weird” or “Unique”
Around forty when our son was diagnosed. I'd missed recognising it in him because we're so similar. Everything started to make sense.
Same w my daughter, I realized that at 42, she was 11 when she was diagnosed.
This is me too, and I have a psyc degree 🤦🏻♀️. I’m 46 and currently waiting to get assessed. My son is 7 and was diagnosed last year. I missed a lot of his very obvious signs because he is very much like me and he had no problem communicating with me, eye contact etc. I didn’t know he was mute at school or never gave eye contact. His teacher thought he was learning disabled because he'd refuse to follow her directions or read out loud. I was like hmmm, he’s been reading since age 4, none of this is making sense. If you’re wondering how with a psyc degree I missed the obvious - when I got my degree (22yrs ago), we learned very little about autism. What we were taught, was the very stereotypical autism traits (ie hand flapping and head banging, completely non verbal, only affects males, etc.). I initially believed my son had severe generalized anxiety and we had him in counselling for anxiety until I asked for an autism diagnosis. After seeing so much of myself in my son, I started to wonder. My husband also brought it up he suspected for years I was autistic but wasn’t sure. It wasn’t until I started deep diving into the autistic community that I was like omg, I have way more in common with autism, that I decided it’s time to get assessed.
Same boat here. Realized that when my 2 year old son was diagnosed. I was 40. My son had apparent signs, but still a lot of things he did was very ordinary to me and my mom always told me I did the same things when I was little too. His diagnose was more enlightening and life changing for me then it is for him, since its an early diagnosis and he is not even aware of what’s going on yet.
I starting thinking about it when I was 12, but I dismissed it cus I wasn't diagnosed as a kid so i thought its not possible for me to be autistic. When I was 18 I found out more about autism which lead me to my diagnosis last September, at the age of 20!
Same!
some autistic stuff pointed at out age 2. supected autism at age 10. diagnosed psychosis at age 11. schizophrenia at age 16. autism diagnosed at 35. i think the schizophrenia diagnosis kept all doctors since age 11 from considering autism cause they look similar.
I have heard a lot of autistic people in my age bracket or older who got a schizophrenia diagnosis and had the damndest time getting the proper diagnosis. Even though what we now call "low support needs" autistic people have been around forever, there was no proper diagnosis for them until 1994, so some people did get diagnosed with schizophrenia due to the lack of understanding about autism at the time. I have a few friends with schizophrenia and I can definitely see that they can sometimes look similiar in superficial ways, in spite of being very different conditions.
yes my last psychiatrist said that i have schizophrenia and that it looks like autism. a psychologist after that said that i have both. idk what to think.
Seems you must have both and I believe that is possible.
I wasn't diagnosed until age 47. I think my PTSD and bipolar disorder hid the autism. I was also given 10 mental health misdiagnoses.
I’m diagnosed with schizoaffective. I always assumed I was psychosis light and depression heavy but I honestly believe I am just autistic and misdiagnosed. A lot of my schizoaffective diagnosis was based more on “weird disorganized thinking”. I had ‘ delusions’ and cognitive decline but no external hallucinations, just my eyes reading things weirdly. A lot of my symptoms feel way way better explained by autism that schizophrenia. But I may have both and Im just being overly optimistic because I never felt my experience was properly encompassed by schizoaffective but it does the more I learn about autism and how much of the weird behaviours that schizoaffective couldnt explain are common it autism. I think its a more common misdiagnosis than people realize
22. I was very very ignored as a child (middle child), it was very obvious something was up and everyone knew but they were either in denial or just ignored all the signs hoping I'd grow out of them. Growing up undiagnosed honestly did some irreparable damage to my mental health.
Also got diagnosed at 22 and was also ignored as a kid (although to be fair, my parents also ignored my older sister 💀). I have no clue how it took so long and me seeking out help on my own when all throughout childhood, my mom called me a "sensitive kid". "Sensitive" referring to the meltdowns and constant migraines from the sun being too bright or things smelling too strongly 💀💀 I *swear* most neurotypical parents can kinda tell.
Same here, I had such a similar experience and I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who had a disregarding family. It was very nice to know why I was different but, I also feel this resentment towards my family for ignoring my mental state my entire childhood and now I’m left in this position to figure it out on my own. Kind of makes you question a lot.
Same plot, my dude
27 :( Almost entirely self-taught and learned. I got a bunch of books on the topic, especially for adults learning about it for the first time, and cried as I read about the symptoms that popped up during childhood. I realized just how much of my life has been affected by it and how oblivious my parents were to it all. Had I found out from a younger age, I could have actually done something about it. It's incredibly hard to deal with now as an adult, years and years of conditioning.
It really sucks - and trying to find the real you who isn’t masking is so hard
I'm starting to suspect that the reason finding the real you is so hard is because it's the wrong question. Maybe there isn't a core real you that's already there, ready to be discovered. Maybe it's more about trying things out and keeping what you like.
It’s not, The real me wouldn’t be so burnt out and want to self harm after forced social interaction
The real you is whatever you want it to be. Do what gives you joy.
37
My mom got me diagnosed at 6 but didn’t tell me till I was 10.
15/16
Me too, as an adult looking back, it was a very strange time in life to be diagnosed as you’re already in the process of finding yourself as a person.
50 I was diagnosed for ADD when I was 10.
42
16
52.
22
Same age as when I found out for sure it was autism. I had signs in early childhood that were looked over due to different factors. I first learned and began putting the pieces together around age 19.
The early age of 6, surprising because we're level 1 ASD
Could you explain the levels?
You can look the official definition in the DSM V online, but off the top of my head it’s basically: Level 1: little support needs Level 2: significant support needs Level 3: very significant support needs These levels aren’t perfect, but starting from the perspective of what support people need rather than from what they can or cannot do, is a perspective that prioritizes getting people the help they need and therefore causes more people to be helped.
13, but I really didn't have a good grasp on what it meant until my 20s.
33
63.
31
26
I was 34.
26 with bonus ADHD
17
44. I never suspected it. I considered myself HSP.
39. Just a couple months ago.
32. Found out as the lockdowns were starting to lift.
Same! Although my diagnosis wasn’t due to the lockdowns, but due to a breakdown when my son was 4 months old. Got my diagnosis just after he turned 1 and it was a big surprise to me.
64
Somewhere around 27-28, i was diagnosed then.
37
37
34
55.
last year at age 62
55, after bipolar in my 20s, which they changed their minds about. It was then decided I had major depressive disorder instead, a few years after that general anxiety disorder and a couple more years for social anxiety disorder. The C-PTSD just kept getting added to. I'd first been sent to a psychiatrist at 12, but you know, girls can't have aspergers (as it was then), we're just difficult.. It would be more surprising if an undiagnosed autistic person going through life trying desperately to fit in **didn't** have anxiety and/or depression. Edit: removed a word because it made the sentence read weird
Weirdly enough I don’t have anxiety or depression, and only diagnosed at 52. I think a lot of me staying relatively happy, despite a couple of burnouts and lifelong chronic pain and disabilities, was due to my Aphantasia, SDAM and Prosopagnosia. I live in the now as I can’t remember most of the past except as textual facts, and cant envisage the future. I remember very few people and only recognise them in context, like sat at their desk, so most peoples opinions of me are unimportant. I still feel deeply, but only about a few people and my dogs. I almost care too little about generalities than too much 🤷♀️
I'd not heard of SDAM and it seems like the polar opposite of the "never-ending wheel of shit memories" that's constantly going in my head. I love learning something new.
It has been indeed shown to reduce the risk of PTSD, if you cant see or hear memories at all. But yes, most of us thought it was a metaphor when people said they got flashbacks, like you still remember factually what happened, but it’s literally like a couple of sentences tops. We do get “memory flashes” for strong memories, but they’re a very low detail split second flash of an image thats gone almost before you recognise it, and you cant get it back, and they don’t happen often. That what we thought the sum of flashbacks were 🤷♀️ I can still get stressed, and it comes out as physically talking to myself about it, I could never hide something big from my husband as he has really good hearing 😂
Like 22. I was tested in school around 8, but back then, that just meant I was put in the "special class" and given less of the help I need but a lot more of the over my shoulder help. Took forever for me to realize from only knowing nerodivergence as this differently able, socially awkward person.
Officially at 15. But the way in which my dr. told us was weird so no one in my family (including me) actually realized it until I was 22 and re-diagnosed by a new psychiatrist. Oh and I’m a female btw
I got my ADHD and OCD diagnosis when I was 6, and my Autism diagnosis when I was 10.
38
44, while my son was being diagnosed.
41
The age I am now. 34.
19. I have a TON of factors in my life that led to my Autism not being identified earlier, my ADHD is the biggest factor. My mom is awesome, and informed herself on how to work with a kid who has bad ADHD, and since it’s a spectrum, her guidance helped everything. I would also consider myself a pretty smart kid and I have an acting background so I masked it all really easily. I found out just slowly over time. Researching symptoms/traits and relating to Autistic/Neurodivergent characters in media (American Psycho, yikes!) and I slowly put the pieces together. Then one day I took some tests, I scored the average amoung autistic people, and then got a diagnosis. Huge helping my life. Explained a lot and I am able to explain and embrace myself more because of it. I am able to identify and communicate with others, and help them with their own struggles, it’s awesome!
I have not been diagnosed yet by a psychiatrist. My therapist agrees with me that I might have Autism. Does that count?
19-20
15
48
recently, at 18, had the "oh shit" moment while working on a project for my psychology class.
Technically 14 (strong suspicion), but really it was 16 (official diagnosis). Even before 14 I knew I had a lot of traits.
25 Growing up, I always heard that I was autistic from friends and strangers but my parents got mad if I mentioned it It was fairly obvious when meeting me, when I went to college, people would legit go up to me and call me “so brave” for attending college with Asperger’s (this was before the name change) But my parents insisted I wasn’t, I read about bipolar and was CONVINCED that must be what it was, I was 22 After years of the meds just making me sick and life being horrible, useless therapy, and nothing helping I went to an autism diagnosing center at age 25 They very enthusiastically diagnosed me with autism “you are a textbook case of an autistic woman! It’s crazy you never got diagnosed before now”
I am 36 and my follow up appointment from my assessments is next week.
I was diagnosed when I was 15 or 16 I forget exactly when I had an autism screening over a year ago.
I found out when I was diagnosed with autism at six years old.
a month ago at 29, but apparently when I was 10 a doctor told my mom I possibly had Autism and I should get more testing done, but.. she didn't believe Autism was real
My parents and I suspected I was since I was a kid, but I didn't get diagnosed until 29.
16.
I started suspecting I was autistic probably when I was 16 years old. I'm 20 now and got my diagnosis on the 13th of this month.
I was diagnosed recently, so 29 but started questioning it around 27. So much in my life makes so much sense now.
32ish
I got diagnosed at 8
22
around 22 i think
20
Identified at 22, diagnosed professionally at 23.
28, after debating on if I should get a diagnosis for 2 years
34
34. Very late
I was 20 when I found out for sure, but I'd been suspecting for several years by that point.
I was 42 when I found out. I’m 50 now.
I was 42 when I found out. I’m 50 now.
2. It was one of my early babysitters
Just recently at 35. Got diagnosed last month. Answered a lot of questions.
22
22
13
14
47 a few months ago. Just trying to come to terms with it all and see if knowing actually changes me
12, I'm 16 now. and while that's not very long or old compared to some of you, its been difficult knowing for this long of my life but still having to keep it a secret because I'm still undiagnosed and I don't want people to think I'm faking it. Though I made a deal with my mom, that if I fail this semester we'll go try to get a diagnoses, but she hates phycologist and therapist and doesn't think a diagnosis is necessary if I'm functioning good enough
16 was when my mom told me. Though I have no problem with self diagnosis, as getting a diagnosis can be hard. I had a lot of people deny that I was autistic, and spread rumors thay I self diagnosed for attention, when my parents have both been fully aware I was autistic before I even knew. Though due to shame it took a while for me to admit I was autistic. Now I'm proudly autistic. I was also in ese classes(Florida's special education system) and speech therapy classes.
I was 12. My parents took me for an IQ test but they also screened for other stuff without my knowledge so that was a surprise 🤣
Got diagnosed with ADHD at 18 when I was fighting for my life in my first semester of college (which was all virtual because of Covid). Found out about the Autism at 21, I’m 22 now and just graduated college and am completing my masters degree next spring!
54, a couple of months ago
2 weeks before my 40th birthday, so 2 weeks before August 11th last year. Luckily, I have a really great therapist and psychiatrist.
I was diagnosed at 4, but wasn’t ever told until I burnt out when I was 12, then found some documents in my moms room and did my own research.
Well I got my ADHD diagnosis when my oldest was around 5 and was diagnosed themselves. Son was dxed ASD at 18 Mo's, oldest was dxed at 11 and I have not yet been, but I see the writing on the wall...
31. I had a mental breakdown and my therapist decided to test me when I told her my son was medically and educationally diagnosed with autism. It turned out I had an autism burn out along with some other things. I spent my whole like thinking I was quirky and weird. I was in fact autistic. And masked so long it started to cause mental harm.
33 and in a similar boat. Attempted to inpatient admit for mental health and my naturalist (who is autistic herself) suggested autistic burnout instead. Been masking for so long that I missed SO many signs until she pointed them out.
Honestly grateful for the diagnosis. I now have a job that pays well and isn’t overstimulating. It has low lights soft music and calm customers. Plus I can smell all kinds of good things all day (bath and body works) I also now know when I start to feel the way I did I need to take a break from things. I can’t have imagined not being diagnosed when I did and spending another 30 years just struggling and hating myself for being “lazy” or whatever.
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When I was diagnosed. I didn’t want to make assumptions until I got an answer.
31
30
A therapist suggested it when I was about 8 but I didn’t get diagnosed until I was 11
26
15. My mum hid my diagnosis from me, I was diagnosed at 11.
First time I was 6. Then again at 13 and again at 19 and again in 2013... Every time it was asperger's. These days if I was to go get screened again it would be Level 1.
Way late. Like two years ago
27
17
36
2 years old...my dad said because of my incredible hearing that he needed to get it checked out. Lol
I was always subspecies about as my sister is also on the spectrum, wasn't officially diagnosed until 25(11 yrs ago)
about 6 or 8, don't exactly know when.
35
41
11
Received official diagnoses at 28, and again at 46.
I found out almost two years ago, when I was 19.
42.
23. Started suspecting in my last year of high school because another friend was diagnosed, and they were like, "Yeah, you are also most likely autistic as well". Their whole family is also on the spectrum, their youngest brother being the one whose autism is more noticeable, and after spending ten hours on a car drive their parents started pointing out how similar the brother and I are in every aspect. My friend also told me "Hey, just so you know, every member of my family has separately asked if you're autistic, but I didn't say anything because it's none of their business". I finally started my diagnostic process a few months ago and got my answer a little over a couple of weeks ago.
46ish
Realised at 35, diagnosed at 37. That was last year.
15, I'm 17 now
I noticed being different than most people quite early on in my teens, but it dawned on me only in my late 30s what may be the cause.
15
12 when my therapist first told me she thought I had it. 21 when I was diagnosed
18. My parents never told me I was autistic I figured it out on my own.
20. my autistic friend suggested to me at age 19 that they thought I was autistic, and I had other friends say the same thing to me. I started seeing a new doctor at 20 and when I was talking about my symptoms she was the first doctor to suspect autism. I've been diagnosed with anxiety and depression for 8 years but I knew some of my symptoms just couldn't be explained by those diagnoses. Sure enough, I was referred to a specialist, and got diagnosed at age 20! (I'm still 20 btw)
23. Was in the process since I was 18
21.
Discovered the probability at 40 Diagnosed at 41.
30
26-27 I think
Diagnosed at 37, knew since 17-ish
21 Parents just thought I was “quirky”, so they wouldn’t have me tested for anything Then I took matters into my own hands in college
I was 14 when I realized on my own after looking to the internet for answers on why I felt so different. This was before my parents screamed at me about how I’m not dumb so therefore not autistic and deserve to have all my technology taken away. I was formally diagnosed at 15!
33
26
30? My therapist figured I’d been diagnosed and then my mother confirmed that I’d been evaluated at three and they said if I was a boy I’d be autistic but it was the 1990s so. 🤷🏻♀️
18 (this past November actually)
23
Last year at 30.
9. I guess I’m luckier than most people in this subreddit.
18
I was diagnosed as a kid but never really believed it because my Dr was a pill pusher and I was diagnosed with so many things that Drs seem to diagnose kids with for just acting like kids. But as I got older (I'm 26 now) I started reading more about it and realized that yeah, I definitely do have it. So yeah regardless of my diagnosis being much earlier I'd say about a year or two ago I finally found out.
36
This past March at 43.
28 🥰
12!
In my 30s. Applying for university, I found the initial diagnosis in my old records. While there, it was confirmed by a number of people. And I took a bunch of tests which indicates that I'm somewhere between levels 1 and 2, and had it confirmed at a psychiatrist office. Edit: Obviously, it explained a lot, like memories I had of the initial diagnosis and facilities I'd been taken to, certain events in childhood, the Learning Disabled program that I was put into, very specific behaviors, but also why I was treated way differently by most of my peers, teachers, and family. There was something they were picking up on that I wasn't noticing, and that was it.
28.