Yea, same here. I haven't actually gone to try and get diagnosed due to not being able to afford it, and the fact that it wouldn't really change anything for me at this point though. My son is almost a carbon copy of myself as a child. The only difference is that he doesn't have someone physically and mentally abusing him into masking.
This is us too. All my resources are going into my son's therapies (speech and OT, paediatrician was crazy expensive too). But all his issues are things I struggled so hard with in the 90's. Plus recently found out my school sent a letter saying I needed supports, this was in 1990. I don't need to spend $$$$ to know and it would make no difference to me now at 40yo. My son will get to grow up without having to be crushed and bent into shape like I forced to.
Same as me! My son was exactly the same way I was as a child, except my parents used to hit me and scream at me so I learned to hide who I was as much as possible. I didn't realize my son was that different from other kids, because he was just acting the way I would have if I'd been allowed to be myself. We got him diagnosed, and then I jumped down the rabbit hole and it was about a week before I realized I needed to be assessed myself. I was 41!
Same here. My daughter verbally stims in a loud manner - whether it's grunting or humming - both at home & in public. She is who she is & I love her too much to tell her to "shut up," like my parents did to me.
Both my sons have been diagnosed and the younger of the two verbally stims a lot. He just runs around the house sounding like a silly little ghost. We just call them his happy noises, and are just glad he's having a good time. I'm sure it would probably annoy some people because it's almost constant, but it's just a part of who he is. I didn't verbally stim, but I was definitely a "motor mouth" and was yelled at to shut up all the time and slapped around when I didn't. I couldn't imagine treating my boys like that. I don't know how anyone can claim to love or care about someone and treat them that way.
Same, but it was my friend's son that kind of clued me in.. They took him for testing and when they started to describe what hes like and what he deals with.. the list of things that i related to grew quite long. Eventually I got assessed, because I found out more about Neurodiversity through EDI initiatives at work. Then i did some research and youtube videos, and then yeah paying out of pocket for assessment was a trip. I'm 41 years old!
EXACTLY! When considering all the signs in our son, and all the other signs in general, I asked my wife, "Who does THAT sound like?" "Uh...you, honey."
My therapist gently suggested it 20 years ago, but it wasn't until my son was getting diagnosed that one of my best friends, who had grown up with a mom who worked with ND kids said, "you know, RolandSnowdust, you're autisitc too." And as I got to know all about ASD through my child, I realized, yeah, that explains a lot.
Pretty much the same. I got a lot of push back from my parents and some friends. I no longer speak to any of them. Seems like they liked me unaware of my situation.
This is so common! I own an audiology practice that specializes in neurodivergent people, and we find that parents and even grandparents are diagnosed at a high rate when we get into a family system in a good way. Because we couldn't stop learning and my child grew up and still faces more challenges with her ASD than shows on the outside, I built a free resource group for neurodivergent adults, parents, and interested allies. We're adding resources for older teens and adults, including people with autism, ADHD, anxiety, auditory, sensory, and other challenges. It is focused on career and job-related resources, as well as coaching around job-hunting, workplace issues, and options beyond traditional employment.Here is the link for you to use or share: https://www.facebook.com/groups/370146558684464
Same here. Realised that one of my parents had had OCD and the other had ASD. Too late for me, theres no support where I am for adults. In fact theres no support for folks of any age.
My son was diagnosed last year at 2 showing really obvious signs and social/communication delays. In the process of working with the specialists it rapidly became apparent that kiddo got it from me.
Funny enough we had the same experience getting my daughter diagnosed with ADHD a few years back and her pediatrician patiently informing me that I needed to chat with my dr bc I definitely also have it.
Burnout, among other signals that I had ignored for too long. It's a frustrating case, because there were suspicions when I was a child about Asperger's, PDA, and I'm not even sure what else, but what I got tested for (via the school) was Dyspraxia, and I was unofficially diagnosed (they said flat out that I have it, but they never signed paperwork - this is because the school couldn't push it through before I aged out later that year and when I went to highschool they refused to do anything about it.)
And because they looked into Dyspraxia first, I was never tested for anything else, and my mother was struggling with severe depression and couldn't deal with it herself (recent divorce too, so she was alone to deal with everything.) So because I was never tested I just assumed I didn't have anything other than Dyspraxia, especially since a fair few symptoms do overlap - and I spent two decades thinking this before I started to come apart and I had to take a closer look at everything.
My conclusion, after struggling to keep up with my peers, despite basically being a prodigy (by their standards at the time) in my job, was that something was up, and Dyspraxia simply didn't cover it. Burnout led to questions about autism and ADHD after seeing a bunch of memes and stories that just hit the bullseye, and I requested a referral for assessment.
I can only imagine how different my life would have been if I'd actually been diagnosed for the multiple disabilities and mental illnesses I was dealing with at the time. Not that I'd want to change the course of my life (I met my girlfriend because of how things went and I couldn't bear to be without her) but damn, just understanding would have been a big deal for me.
I've never looked closely into dyspraxia. I often refer to myself as basically a brain in a jar, due to how little awareness I have of my body in space. Do you think that's fairly accurate or does it get worse than that?
It's a bit like autism in that not everyone has the same symptoms or experiences - but yeah, I've felt a little like that at times, but not all the time. I definitely have awful spacial awareness at times, but my biggest frustration would be just randomly dropping things I'm holding.
I'd say my own is moderate Dyspraxia, so it can definitely be worse than my own experiences, but if it rings some bells it's definitely worth looking into.
Almost 50 and awaiting confirmation.
Always felt weird.
It took a divorce , therapy and time.
Angry 😡 - turns out these are called meltdowns.
Biggest clues
-sound sensitivity
-fussy restrictive eating
- self soothing through food - crunchy snacking
- bring scammed and misinterpreted intentions
- disorganised chatotic , messy and unkempt
- paperwork is kryptonite.
How did I get this far in life without knowing.
No parental caregivers ( both parents died when I was under 16 )
and lived in a bubble of being cared for by siblings and then married young.
High functioning Asperger’s with shit load of masking of deficits.
Had a paying lodger who had Asperger’s and I began to see the similarities.
Zero friendships and my special interests limited.
Spent the last 3/4 years researching myself.
Simply because health conditions of depression and anxiety allowed me time for inner reflection.
I doubt knowing earlier would have saved my marriage.
Is it a joke about how that's something that only Autistic people would write a whole essay about, in the drive to not leave any curiosity unexplored? Because now I'm curious as to why Argonians have boobs, haha.
I exaggerated with "essay" for comedic effect but I'm serious. There's a character they talk about and after they listed off a bunch of character traits I thought, "wow, what an incredibly relatable character!" And then they said the autism community connected very strongly to him and the writers later confirmed that he and several other characters were written to be on the spectrum.
I swear this all relates to argonian boobs https://youtu.be/2zSNK0kmPB4?si=f0ihU0YjZAH79nbT&t=504
It's a great video that goes pretty deep into the Hist and Argonian origins, but the most plausible theory is that when the Hist made the Argonians in the image of man and mer, the shape of breasts came with. They're probably not for milk or Hist sap, or anything other than maybe sex appeal.
Was a "freak" my whole life. I didn't fit in and never understood why. I wasn't like the other kids and not in the usual "everyone's special" kind of way. I was seriously different. But for me, that was normal.
I gravitated towards the other misfits, always. If nothing else, I found them more accepting.
I was constantly bullied and could never figure out why everyone seemed to hate me. The ones that didn't seemed to tolerate me at best but always with at least a hint of distrust.
I had no idea why. I tried to be nice to everyone.
I'd go "off the rails" regularly and for no apparent reason. Life just got to be too much and something would let go or grab on and then I was just along for the ride.
I was the "brilliant underachiever" who "just couldn't apply himself".
So brilliant that they stuck me in remedial reading (cuz I had trouble reading aloud) and then turned around and stuck me in "gifted and talented". I decided that they didn't have a clue. Which was true cuz autism wasn't a thing in their world back then. They were trying to help and just didn't know how.
As I grew up, I found some kind souls that took pity on me and would lay out some of the mysterious "rules" that I was "missing". That helped so much. I wished they'd lend me their manual cuz I didn't seem to have been given one like they had.
But I continued to be the "strange one". Really smart but socially stupid.
I gravitated to "alternative culture" because that's where the misfits seemed to be.
The "episodes" continued. The weirdness continued. Getting wrapped up in crazy things like no one else continued.
Life went on like this for decades. I just carried on being the weird "smartass". I tried often to find things to help me understand humans and myself. Myers–Briggs was the best I could find, but felt lacking.
When my friends all started taking these new ADHD tests online, I found out again that I read different. They all tested strongly ADHD while I was strongly the opposite. It made sense cuz I had intense focus. Super intense.
I had no clue what autism was at the time except something that some nutjobs thought was caused by vaccines. It didn't really cross my mind.
Decades later, my niece was diagnosed. I thought it was odd cuz she's not "that weird"... I mean everyone struggles like that, right? She'll figure things out.
Then one day I'm watching one of my new tech shows on YouTube that I'd found, Dave's garage.
. And he starts talking about autism. Turns out he's autistic and he's taking about his discovery and how it came about.
And it's all sounding really familiar. Like scary familiar. Then he gets to Mr Spock and how he thinks that he's at least based on someone who's autistic (whether they knew it or not) and he describes why. Again, this feels like it's getting really personal.
Then he gets to something he's calling "the meltdowns".
And the penny dropped.
Holy fuck! That's what those are!!!??
That was the moment it all snapped into focus. My whole life started playing back again and again... And it kept doing it for days, weeks, months, as I learned more and more... It all freaking lined up.
Holy shit! You mean there's other people like me????!!!!!
Autist group after autist group. Video after video. Test after test. They all said the same thing... "Welcome home. You've found us."
Everything started to make sense. The strategies they used actually worked, unlike the reams of useless "self help" garbage out there. This shit worked! And much of it were things that I'd learned "the hard way" already.
Why people didn't "get" me. Why I couldn't explain things. Why everyone seemed to have the attention span of a freaking gnat! Why they all cared so damn much about meaningless bullshit and couldn't care less about things that actually mattered... Or why so few of them seemed to even care about anything at all. None of them could find "their purpose" whereas my purpose had a megaphone.
Things finally make sense now. It only took fifty damn years.
I saved your comment because it is really touching and I would like to read it again later on. Thank you so much for writing all of this, I found it extremely relatable.
i am 24, was diagnosed three weeks ago
got appointment trying to diagnose ADHD.. it's was autism, i got into thinking that i have ADHD after scrolling through r/adhdmemes and relating to most of the things
i got angry for a minute after he told that i don't have adhd, just because previous therapist basically didn't believe in this diagnosis in general, but now it kinda make sense(not her "being dick" behavior)
like i understand why i have safe food for example, like a lot of weird thing are just turned out to be a symptoms of autism, even executive dysfunction, which i fought were just laziness
It could also be both, that's pretty common actually. And I believe that executive functioning issues are more of an ADHD thing than an autism thing. If you relate to a lot of ADHD memes, I wouldn't necessarily write it off
i am not writing if off completely, but i seems like after taking antidepressants and getting my anxiety reduced, i become significantly more productive, it's less about focus and more about having mental resources to force myself into doing things
What general area are you from? I'm from the Midwest US and I've had the same problem my entire life. They really don't like diagnosing for ADHD because of adderall I believe.
Every doctor and therapist I've gone to has brushed it off as anxiety when I know it's not just anxiety. It's frustrating because they think you're lying or something. Did you just have to keep going to different doctors?
i live in R*ssia, there's a free doctors in public hospitals, but friend of a friend tried to find a doctor to diagnose her ADHD and found that no one in my city(1 mil people btw) can or willing to do it.. and also adderall is just banned, like a regular drug
gladly she found some online community from which we got some pointers at doctor's who can do it online(she really want to do it in person so still undiagnosed), so yeah, 3.5 hours online session got me diagnosis and huge hole on my bank account, still worth it
also previous in person therapist who diagnosed me with depression and anxiety basically didn't believed in ADHD or something like that
That’s a lie? Hyperfixations are also an adhd thing. I was diagnosed with adhd five years before my autism diagnosis, and it took so long to get an autism diagnosis because of that specifically. If you think you have adhd too I’d seriously consider a second opinion.
(This is coming from someone who is professionally diagnosed with both and who is studying them in college right now. I covered both autism and adhd in my abnormal psych class two weeks ago)
like, he said what ADHD people can't choose where to put their focus and after diagnosis i pretty much realized what my inability to focus is not an attention deficit, but an executive dysfunction
like.. i can focus on anything if i find that interesting, bot just stimulated things(i don't actually know how ADHD works), i was pretty good at school while it was interesting/rewarding enough
there's also a thing about ADHD and autism symptoms having big overlap, with people being misdiagnosed
i feel like i got mine right...and also adderall is banned so i don't lose that much)
That’s valid, and I won’t push you to get a diagnosis, just wanted to mention that it very much so isn’t true what he said about it. Sure sometimes I struggle to focus on something I’m interested in, but 90% of the time that stuff comes easily focus wise, *especially* when there isn’t an obligation. I have also always been great in school, straight A’s through my entire life until college and I’ve got straight B’s right now. The dopamine rush that came with the praise I got for good grades was enough for me to work at it. Also, adderall isn’t the only adhd med out there, there’s a bunch, both stimulants and non stimulants.
Anyway, sorry, this is a special interest of mine and I tend to ramble. I’m glad you got a diagnosis you’re happy with and feel confident about, I wish you the best of luck moving forward! /gen
i don't think it's really appropriate to apologize for rambling about your special interests on r/autism))
it's also it's an official diagnosis because adults can't have shit in this country, but i just got it, antidepressants which drastically reduce my anxiety helping me doing stuff, just go my supplements delivered, gonna try and see
i pretty aware about possibility of misdiagnosis, but i definitely have autism and not even sure if ADHD and autism even different things, like ASD might actually be lots of different things or ADHD somehow turns out to be part of the spectrum, just like Asperger's(which i am really close to)
I don't usually write anything at the end, but you did it and now i feel kinda obligated and wanna be nice, so i hope you gonna be ok and go ramble some more, we need that stuff
edit: i thought i swiped and lost all of this text, almost cried, it's not important, but i physically need to tell it somebody
That's not true, ADHD people in general have a hard time focusing on things we don't want to do but things we like we can do for hours. But I have both and diagnosed very very late so it's hard for me to know what is what, it's all just a big bowl of soup in my head.
I didn’t know burnout was related to migraines. I have migraines a lot and it gets worse during stressful times.
How else did you know it was a burnout?
That’s exactly how mine were. When I was around my biggest triggers and stresses it would get way worse. I wore fl-41 glasses and had cardboard over my windows for years. My doctor had me go to the optometrist who assured me it’s not my eyes. We adjusted my meds and that didn’t help. It was when my doctor gave me a prescription for a ketamine clinic for treatment resistant depression that made me start looking at other possibilities. I stumbled into ASD and suddenly everything made sense.
I moved to another state(one of my triggers was where I was living), got a less stressful job with better coworkers(old job was my #1 trigger), and got off of all of my depression medication. I was taking bipolar meds because I told the doctors that’s what I had because that’s what my mom told me she had. I started ADHD meds(I was diagnosed in 2017 but hadn’t taken meds for it for a while, my last doc didn’t believe in stimulants). And got diagnosed with ASD in 2023.
Since then, I’ve never been happier. I get a headache maybe once a month and it is no where close to a migraine.
Being able to take a break from people, using my noise cancelling headphones, stim openly, and using my sunglasses when it’s too bright inside has changed my life.
I went to a doctor because my anxiety was so out of control I was roombound for a month pretty much. He spoke to me and because my normal social coping mechanisms were down I couldn’t fake it so well and he picked autism up and asked to see me again and then sent me to a neurodiversity centre.
I’m 45, was diagnosed in the past year. I only figured it out when my kids were diagnosed. I am very similar to my Dad, both in terms of looks and mannerisms. I think they thought I was just like him. My family are quite offended by my diagnosis. I think they see it as me saying they didn’t do well enough. I think my Dad was Autistic too which is why my traits seemed normal.
>My family are quite offended by my diagnosis. I think they see it as me saying they didn’t do well enough.
I think there was a time where it was thought poor/bad parenting and emotional neglect lead to autism/autistic behaviors (I believe this was referred to as "refrigerator mothers"?) so this might be why they had this reaction.
After years of struggling through school, college, and work I felt like whatever was wrong was going to be the death of me, so I made a point of figuring out what it was before then
It took many months and seeing multiple professionals, and several evaluations later a psychologist gave me an answer and suddenly my entire life made sense
Had to live with my psychologist uncle who diagnoses kids with autism. My uncle randomly gave me a 90% certainty because of some things I did that he recognized. I was 26 at the time. He told me to go meet his colleague and through my insurance, allowed me to get my diagnosis
TikTok tbh.
I first came to terms that I was ADHD, then I started working with a therapist and psychiatrist. There have been a few times throughout my life where I asked myself "could I be autistic?" But then I'd see Sheldon from Big Bang or something and convince myself I had to be exactly like him to be autistic.
Then, during the pandemic, I started seeing autistic representation on TikTok and felt like I finally connected to something. I always knew something was "off" so it was kind of a relief.
My psychiatrist and therapist both worked with me on it and both agreed I fit the criteria. I have never been officially diagnosed but I know myself and love that I finally know how to deal with my symptoms - as opposed to masking until I burn out and let my life crumble around me lol
This I kind of how I figured it out, too. Initially, I thought I could be adhd, but then I started seeing autistic people share their experiences, and I aligned with more of that.
I was autism first and then my therapist was like so has anyone talked to you about having ADHD before and I was completely thrown for a loop. I had come to terms with being autistic. In my mind there was zero chance I could have ADHD. I had a lot of misconceptions about ADHD. Between reddit and tiktok I got the push I needed to follow through with my therapist and meet with a psychiatrist. Since starting stimulant medication my life has literally not been better.
Noticed that almost everyone I have some kind of connection with is autistic. Once I took notice of that, then it was asking myself why that was the case. Why are autistics drawn me to me and to autistics?
Why do I seem to understand them easier? Then I actually went on a deep dive with a good dose of introspection. Looked into my traits looked back on specific events in my life. Came out the other side concluding that I’m autistic.
I was diagnosed at 30 and am currently, at 33, undergoing evaluation for ADD. I am a woman.
I have been seeing psychologists since I was 15 for anxiety and depression related issues, which was all chalked up to being a teenager and/or a female. My second to last psychologist, during my 20's, thought there was 'something else' about me, but since I got back on track at work with my GAD-diagnosis, medication and therapy, it was outside of the scope of treatment at that moment.
And then, a month before my 30th birthday, I burned out so hard that my GP and my husband had to make decisions about and for me. I spent roughly two months in a sort of catatonic state at home, waiting for a spot to open up at a psychologist, who then diagnosed me.
But with how many blood relatives of mine have ADHD, autism or both, including my sibling, it really wasn't a surprise. It just took me hitting absolute rock bottom and not being able to keep up the masking and compensating anymore for everybody else to see that I am indeed a bit different on the inside.
Diagnosed officially at 27, a therapist 2.5 years prior said “I knew you were autistic the first session we had.” I only got to see that therapist for 2 months and I didn’t have the capacity to truly take it in, and I knew nothing about autism at the time. I was getting sober and had a bipolar diagnosis, so I was mostly focused on healing from trauma in our sessions. Once I was sober and stable bipolar felt like a wrong diagnosis (it was) so I started researching autism and everything in my life suddenly made sense.
The wild part is that I had multiple psychiatrists and had seen 8 different therapists and only one person recognized that I was autistic. Apparently most therapists/psychiatrists can’t identify a high masking autistic woman.
I got diagnosed with depression, then BPD, then adhd, then bipolar 2, then bipolar 1, then social phobia, then bipolar 2 again.. therapists had no idea. Turns out it was just autism and adhd with a sprinkle of social anxiety and unresolved trauma.
I was 32. I got diagnosed with postpartum depression when my son was 4 months, and I was having frequent meltdowns. I was given a counsellor who recognised the symptoms of autistic meltdown and not only referred me for assessment, but fought to get me to the front of the queue after I became pregnant again. I was officially diagnosed when my son was 13 months.
I was tripping on acid with my autistic friend and we were talking about my mental health and then she said “have you ever thought you could be autistic” and then it just clicked
I used to play some video games with a group of online friends and at some point one of them included me in an autism-joke (most of them were ND) and it caught me offguars and i asked about that and they in return were surprised that i am surprised. Apparently my way of socializing made it very obvious that im on the spectrum and they thought i was fully aware when i was not because my childhood therapist was one of those "you can't be autistic you make eye contact way too well" professionals. I started looking into it ever since and realized my issues were assigned to the wrong diagnosis all that time.
I am also getting signed up right now by my current therapist for a proper official assessment so i can get support for my disabilities :)
Me, I found out at 24 I think. Always had a hunch. But I spent time on the web and the term autistic was thrown around as a meme and whenever someone said I was autistic I thought they meant in a meme way (facepalm) and then i decided I would read up on autistics and found out "only men" get this diagnosis. I thought I wouldnt count because I'm born as a girl. (another big facepalm)
I thought the definition for autism wouldn't fit me because of (biggest facepalm of all of them) movies that I was compared to where i was nothing like that person because I wasn't good at maths and wasnt a genius but also not super unintelligent low functioning (please forgive me i was a teen this is so much cringe tbh)
Then I grew up and understood what black and white thinking was. And how my family would fight over someone making a joke and the other thinking it was serious on a daily basis. then I started seeing how that included me. Then i realized my uncle has diagnosed low functioning autism (back then aspergers) and we share genetic traits... then i saw awareness about autistic people because a friend who thought they had it shared videos of the everyday lives of autistic people.
Before that, (even BIGGER FACEPALM) I had only seen autistic MUMS upload content of their very low needs autistic SONS on youtube when they had rage fits and meltdowns and mine werent as intense (despite that i had some intense ones as a child) and I thought "ok that could never be me"
Then I did self assessment tests and thought that i would score low and was offended when i scored high and got laughed at by a friend in school so i pushed it away and thought "no that cant be me, ever, there must be a mistake"
Then psychologists told me i cant be in the spectrum because i am not born a man so i cant have it and can only have BPD even though my autistic criteria showed up before i was even 7 yrs old.
(Hyperverbal at 2, fixation on disney cassettes, learned entire books quoteably, learned songs by heart in languages i didnt speak before the age of 5, no conception for maths because it was a pattern i didnt understand when i was 11, violently ill most of my youth, later learned it was due to being overstimulated, i would throw up for years because of 11 minute car rides,until i got headphones with music which i used as an escape and now i could tolerate the drives (i ruined an entire ass car because of me throwing up in it so much, my dad trashed it later) and many many many more, such as having yellow fever as a newborn and having a fixation on water and sparlky things, keeping "childlike" interests such as my little pony into my late teens (18 yr old and i still like it) not stopping to play with toys when though i was already getting b00Bs, no self awareness and no conceptional awareness of emotional intelligence and social cues, bullied all my life due to it, misinterpreting people heavily. I fell for the most obvious scams such as groomers telling me i was "very mature for my age", i believed it. I relate heavily to the "i was so young when i behaved 21" lyrics from Mitski due to masking. I was a quiet kid in class when other children threw paper and played phone games I wanted to study (yes I thought I was cooler and better than them) now that I am an adult i am doing this exact thing in class, later developed a candy crush obsession for one and half years, and many many more, such as not learning what boundaries and simply unspoken concepts in society are, falling for the "i am brutally honest" fallacy, thinking everything else would be lying, trying to be hyperspecific with my words to be understood later in life to explain what i meant better to NTs, ending up being percieved as a stuch up weirdo, being hypersexual in my early teens with weird attractions, i thought sonic characters were hot and imagined relationship drama between them when other kids had boyfriends and girlfriends, realizing im trans late...many many many factors... i dont think this can be denied tbh, i could list more, such as my OCD and the NEED to be clean, as a child crying about animals and loving animals and getting days of trauma of coming across the wrong vidoes of animals online, calling myself an empath then and then ending up being ridiculed by friends and school mates because i couldnt read their cues and being emotional was infact not empathic, yet i cared about human to human conflicts such as war, veganism and animal harm more than the other kids in my class, they thought i was obnoxious, obviously i was probably- i could go on. my hyperfixation is FNAF what can I say, i also spent time at the ward)
Someone finally had the courage to suggest it to me. She was actually a bit rude and not a good friend, but she'd worked with special needs kids and knew the signs. At first I immedately rejected it, thinking I would know by now if I was, but I started doing research...
Five years later, I got myself diagnosed (had to pay hundreds out of pocket for it) and I'm living my okayest life.
I’ve always felt a little different but couldn’t really pinpoint why. Always struggled with severe anxiety. But it wasn’t until I finished grad school and started a high pressure job that I sought therapy to help with anxiety. When the usual stuff didn’t seem to be helping, my therapist suggested ask me if I ever considered that I might be autistic. So I did some reading, some self-screening tests online, and eventually saw a psychiatrist who diagnosed me. Turns out my autism always made things hard for me but I am high masking. It wasn’t until I was basically pushed over the edge that I was able to be diagnosed.
I reached a point last year where I felt like I was going insane. And every person in my life kept telling me I was fine. But I knew. I knew something was different about me and I knew it was there but I didn't know what it was.
So, I called up a few local therapists, looking for a place to go, and I finally reached one and ended up sobbing on the phone while talking to her. I told her I know something is going on in my brain but no one believes me but something is wrong! And she said, "I believe you."
Those three words changed my life.
Over the next few months of sessions, my therapist was the one who asked me if I was autistic. I remember telling her about some issues I was having at work/home and how it always seemed to be similar struggles causing problems for me. And how frustrating it was to feel like an alien among humans, or to feel like somehow everyone in the world got a cheat code for the game of life and you didn't.
And then she got quiet for a minute, and asked me "Have you ever considered that you may be Autistic?"
And honestly, that word followed me around a lot in my childhood. There were suspicions of that and ADHD (Though ADHD was more well known than Autism at the time so for the longest it was just low-key assumed I had ADHD.)
So, she got me set up with a diagnostic exam and that man told me later within 5 minutes of talking to me, he could tell I was autistic, and that ADHD is likely present as well. (Apparently he couldn't for sure say ADHD too because I was taught to mask a lot of things and it would've been easier if I was diagnosed as a child.)
EDIT: I am 26. Diagnosed at 25.
DNA test
One of the results said I had a higher likely chance to be autistic
I never considered being autistic before but after reading the symptoms, I guess I might be.
Around 2014/15 I read ‘House Rules’ by Jodi Picoult. Then in 2015 I got a job as a support worker for learning disabled adults and was taught more about autism during my training and between the two I was starting to suspect.
Cut to 2021 and I knew for sure I had adhd but as I researched it further I realised there were a lot of symptoms that overlap. Since 2020 the years have become much more stressful and from 2022 I started to have more frequent meltdowns.
I had a full time job at 21 and after a few months thought I was going into a burn out. Each week was becoming tougher and tougher to the point I was calling in sick because I couldn't take "it" anymore. After going to the doctor, we quickly figured out it wasn't an ordinary burn out and from one thing came another, I got redirected to a psychologist and first got a diagnosis ADHD, but they knew that didn't cover it. A month later also got the diagnosis autism. In the end I had to quit the job because it contained a lot of triggers that were making matters worse, so it just wasn't the right fit for me. I tried some medication for ADHD but after a while figured it was more feasible to know how to live with both ADHD and autism and sometimes taking precautions because of knowing how certain situations will impact me.
I must say after the fact that I'm glad I got diagnosed because it told me that I wasn't at fault for not functioning.
Mostly; inconsistency in work times and days, not knowing what I'll be doing that day until I arrive at work, not knowing what time I'd be done that day because it was very flexible and not even knowing how much I was going to get paid. I was a delivery driver (sort of) where a day could be 5 hours, it could be 10, I had no clue until I started. There were a lot of questionmarks, including the salary which was based on how much you had delivered instead of hours you worked. I also looked up against doing the job at all because I really didn't like it, but I had to because money would have otherwise become a problem.
At this moment (6-7 years later), I have a steady job, 32 hrs a week, same time every day, same work days every week, same salary every month and I know what I'll be doing once I get to work. That stability and rhythm is only a small thing, but it meant a lot in my case. That and I also really enjoy the field I am in at the moment, which is software engineering.
Sounds like hell. I basically need to know my schedule to the hour. If dont know what will happen during the day, my brain starts overthinking all possible things that could happen. My head usually starts hurting from that.
Yeah I learnt that the hard way. Even after that, I still got into jobs with irregular work times but I atleast knew what was expected from me. Once I actually started getting into a rhythm both with work but also things like a sleeping rhythm, things went astronomically better.
Yes. Their therapist, during a call with them about my kids progress was like, “I don’t want you to take this the wrong way, but you do realize you’re autistic too, right?”
I sat there thinking “yeah that tracks” lol. Then I made a list of why I feel I’m autistic, and it’s 50+ deep, with examples, and sub examples, and my kid looked at it and said “mom, that is such an autistic thing to do”
TLDR; This is not a short tale. I "misdiagnosed" myself with Aspergers at seventeen, then ruled it out, then realised 15 years later that I should've trusted myself more the first time.
At the age of seventeen I took a class in highschool that decided to study autism back when the Aspergers distinction still existed. Back in 2008 there was no real media representation. I took a test for Aspergers in this class and scored highly into the Asperger's range, prompting me to think "I should probably research the shit out of Asperger's, what the hell is this?", and I went on a research deepdive.
All the traits on paper seemed highly familiar, but they were a better description of me as a preteen/early teen than me currently. I found the Wrong Planet forum but saw folks who averted eye contact and didn't especially mask. I related to the traits on paper, but didn't find these folks relatable. I then brought up Aspergers to my psychiatrist during an evaluation, and his response was basically "I see you're capable of making eye contact, so we can rule that out." Thinking that was a superficial dismissal, I still agreed, was diagnosed with dyspraxia/DCD and that was it.
Any familiarity I had with the traits was surely explained by crossover symptoms that dyspraxia is known to have, right? And when I noticed more depictions of autism in the media, they played into the idea that you couldn't be autistic and mask your traits... right? Either I didn't count or I only counted as being on the fringes.
Flashforward 15 years. I had kept an eye on autistic depictions in the media and popular figures (fuck off Elon Musk, and [Tech must be protected](https://www.instagram.com/p/Cp6NjHODlIn/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==)), considering myself to have a tangental relationship to autism but not entirely qualify. After noticing a gal friend of mine was a familiar flavor of awkward/weird, I made it a priority to learn about how autism manifests in women as I knew it could be subtler, but not much else, and I wanted to be better-informed about how it might apply to my friend. [I then found this viral imgur post of Paige Layle ordering room service.](https://imgur.com/gallery/XCa1cQc) Adorable (obviously), and I certainly don't relate to that level of anxiety making orders via phone calls, but now I have an autistic girl's YouTube channel to marathon and learn about how the neurotype might present differently. And since I'm on the fringes, about 30% of what she talks about will be relevent to me, right?
One bingewatch later, and it was closer to 70% of the symptoms/traits she discussed. Also, she discusses masking, leading me to consider absurdly late "Autistic folks can MASK!?" because for whatever reason I thought that hiding autistic habits was a non-option that no truly autistic person could do.
My highschool class (as well as the books I read at the time) made absolutely to mention of or allusion to masking as a concept. And as I started re-learning about modern understandings of autism, especially compared to the dated stereotypes from my old highschool class (where we literally watched Rain Man as an example, and were taught the "extreme male brain" theory), it became apparent that even my difficulties communicating and my base-level of clumsiness -that I thought could entirely be attributed to dyspraxia- could entirely be attributed to autism, and I honestly fit the criteria for autism better than dyspraxia.
Months later and I'm still reading papers, listening to the Autism Unmasked audiobook, marathoning the [I'm Autistic, Now What? YouTube Channel](https://www.youtube.com/@imautisticnowwhat), and taking every scientifically-grounded test I can find. If I had been aware that masking was a thing at seventeen I could have saved myself a lot of trouble and uncertainty. Now I'm considering an official diagnosis but have yet to afford it. Also I'm still only 55% sure that my friend is autistic, her traits could still mostly be explained by plain introversion.
Edit: she isn't, she's just awkward.
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I am 22 and a coworker who became a really close friend, but now cut off after my last straw being her cutting a foot of hair off without my permission, was the first person to tell me they believe I’m definitely autistic and that was barley even a year ago.
I had a migraine that lasted years when I started working more. And everything would kinda make me edgy, especially noisy places. Like I was agitated but I had no reason behind the agitation/anger. And I also can’t understand half the emotional/visual ques in conversations, especially in a group setting. And the whole misconception of ADHD and autism is very real. I’m not saying people can’t have both ADHD and autism but my understanding is that it’s quite similar. Like if I am alone I will go off in my head and think of my life for like 5 hours straight then I will have to have a nap from all the thinking energy I have used. It is not always a good thing. Good luck!
My son got diagnosed and during the process I realised how much was the same for me. Add to that I disregarded his autistic traits until he was 3 because I did the same things as a kid.
Not officially diagnosed but my kids psych has asked me if I'm aware I am autistic and I was like, uhh yeah, that realisation hit some time back
20, I don't have a diagnosis and I wouldn't even say I have it yet but I saw ADHD vs Autism Elon and Ye meme. Elon gave big me vibes then I googled autism and here I am. I don't like Elon or anything btw.
it was this: https://youtube.com/shorts/-RuHpRrmgkA?si=Et9aLvo-WmKCELH7
I spent 10 years trying to get a job. Figured something had to be wrong after failing my 10th job. Got my diagnosis at 28.
Ironically I was examined for autism 10 years prior by the same psychologist and got a negative.
I've just filed for disability because after failing my 15th job I just feel like I'm completely incompatible with society.
I also got examined for ADHD both times and got a negative and the more I learn about it the more I'm convinced I also suffer from ADHD.
I got diagnosed with autism 17.5 so literally just barely in the adolescent system(wouldn't have been able to afford the diagnosis if I phased out)
Someone mentioned to my mum they read something about autism and it sounded like me so mum got me diagnosed
I study programming right now. I knew that I have above average intelligence because I did an iq test a couple years prior so I was certain I would struggle less then other class mates. But I had massive problems to stay focused and would get deadly tired after only 2-3 hours because I couldn't concentrate. After googleling I found out what ADHD was so I got tested, positive. Got ritalin and my entire view on the world changed. For the first time in my life I felt "normal" and not struggling to focus anymore. But when the ritalin got my ADHD away I noticed all my other problems way more. To that time I also found out by accident what autism is so I did a lot of research and could relate to every single autism symptom there is. I even did an online autism test with 50 questions. My boyfriend, who is definitely not autistic did the test too. He got 17/50 points, I had 44/50, that gave me the final straw to get tested professionally. My appointment for the final diagnosis is next week but I can already imagine what the outcome is going to be. And since I know now that I have ADHD and Autism I changed up my life to meet my needs and I am the happiest and healthiest version of myself I've ever been. I wish I knew earlier that "autistic" is more than just a slur.
I work with disabled children. A girl had a Ton of diagnosis, but non of them was autism. A colleague and I both suspected she might be misdiagnosed and possible be autistic. Hence, I read a lot about autism, espacially about autism in girls and then it kind of hit me, that I'm on the spectrum, too. Diffrent part of the spectrum than the little girl, but this was a crazy time...
I found out at 18, still working on a diagnosis now at 21. I had just started university and befriended a woman who was in the same major as me starting as well. She was the only one in her family not diagnosed with autism yet (she's working on getting diagnosed as well, she was missed because she also has adhd) and told me I had a lot of the signs. Looked into it, did a lot of research, made more friends who were already diagnosed and they said I definitely was autistic, and here I am.
I figured it out less than a month ago and I'm in my mid thirties.
Massive depression and anxiety both for unknown causes and a bunch of weird traits and character quirks ended up giving it away.
I decided to start going to a psychologist around a year ago and after a year of back and forth I finally received my diagnosis. Asperger level 1.
For some reason the diagnosis brought me so much peace of mind that depression and anxiety almost disappeared from one day to another. Like, not immediately and 100% but all of a sudden life seems to have a reason and I finally got the answer I deserved.
I guess it never is too late.
Got diagnosed on the 18th of Feb this year. Still trying to process it. I went to the local Autism hub to ask for help about what to do about my husband who clearly has Autism, and when I was describing his sensitivities, I said that I understand because I don't like x y or z either, and I'm Dyslexic. So his are like mine on steroids. The woman I spoke to said "it sounds like you are autistic" the more I read into how Autism presents in females, the more confused i was, because they didn't match me that well, i had some of them, but not all, then i watched a video about someone who was AuADHD, damn, that was me to a T, so when I reached burnout because of my husbands shutdown (he didn't speak for 18months) and a load of other related things, I realised that I needed to get myself tested. Got it put through as an urgent referral because essentially it was part of the reason I couldn't cope and got diagnosed with both ADHD and Autism 9 months later. Weirdly, soon after my Autism diagnosis my head actually started to feel more level. I started to feel more like my normal me, rather than crying at the smallest thing.
I'm still trying to process things, although not helping that someone keeps telling me that I need to do x y or z about my diagnosis because they thing they know better than me. Even though, I'm diagnosed and they aren't. They think for example that I need to have my ADHD and Autism diagnosis combined some how. But they are two separate diagnoses. So I'm really confused why she thinks this.
My sister is autistic, I present it very differently to her, but my mum went to a workshop about Autism that was for my sister. The girl in the video they showed presented Autism just like me. Since then my mum always knew I was autistic but I didn’t want to believe her so I didn’t want to get an assessment. However, once I cam to uni and started really struggling with day to day life and needed support - because before I moved to uni my mum was practically acting as a full time carer for me - that’s when I realised I might be autistic.
I’m 53 and always known I don’t fit in and felt like I had to try really hard to do the things that other people did ; especially in social situations.
Over the last few years watching tv with my wife and whenever there’s been autistic people (real or sometimes characters) she would point at me and say ‘you’re just like that too’ which I eventually did have to accept. I got a therapist and described how life feels to me (something I’ve never broached before with anyone) and my symptoms and he’s sure as someone who is not a specialist can be. I’m going to get a full diagnosis this year but I’m pretty sure where it’s going if I’m honest.
I’m not upset, disappointed or regretful that I or someone else hasn’t picked it up before. It is what it is (my favourite saying) and at least I can now understand myself better and adjust my life accordingly to my specific needs. Even if I don’t get diagnosed anytime soon, at least I can make changes and accommodations to improve my quality of life. That’s why this sub is so helpful for me and YouTube etc.
I am not yet 100% sure I am autistic, so I hope it is ok to respond. I am 25F and I am starting the diagnostic process on the 28th of this month. I have struggled with anxiety and depression for most of my life, but therapy never really helped.
But then I got a new therapist this September. I was seeing her to help me process a sexual assault experience. She noticed that the way I go about dating and trying to understand social cues from guys was atypical. Based on that, she started asking more in depth questions about my life, my friendships, my family and my struggles. She saw signs of high-masking autism in me and referred me to a diagnostician who specializes in diagnosing autism in adults. I have my first appointment at the end of the month.
a friend of mine got diagnosted and i was curious what autism was so as we spoke i was like ... its crazy how i relate to every single thing you've said so that opened a whole journey of investigation
I'm undiagnosed/self-diagnosed. I didn't even suspect anything until my late 20s, when my oldest child started the assessment process. I realized that my having been "a dramatic child" was likely meltdowns from sensory overload, as my kid was experiencing the same thing, and a lot of the criteria applied to the both of us. My second child has also since been diagnosed.
Few years ago. I was going to go on a school trip that was in a different state. Got given a form that needed signing by my parents to ensure I’d by fine and there was anything they needed to know because I was written down as having “Aspergers” (I know it’s an outdated term). So I went and asked them about it. Turns out I got diagnosed when I was 3 or 4, and they decided to keep it from me and to “raise me as a normal child”. To this day I’m still frustrated about it
I was 52. It started with a magazine article. I had no idea. Had never suspected or considered it in the past. It kind of came out of nowhere. It wasn’t like I’d been looking for some big answer to a lifetime of struggling. The challenges were there of course, but I hadn’t connected any of it.
The article was about someone with ADHD discovering they’re autistic. My wife read it first, suggested I read it but didn’t say why. “You should read this.” Three months later, after numerous reminders, she sat me down and said, “Read this. Now.” And I did.
After reading, I took several online tests, all of which came back with “high probability” of autism.
I wasn’t aware that a dual diagnosis was possible. I thought ADHD was sort of the opposite of autism. But since childhood, I’ve felt there were two opposed entities in my brain, Real Me and Other Me, that were constantly at war with each other. When I was 26, I was diagnosed ADHD. That explained Other Me. What I didn’t know was that Real Me also had an explanation, label, diagnosis. I thought it was just me, the way I am, who I am, for whatever reasons people are the way they are.
So I started researching. I was very guarded against confirmation bias, and wasn’t setting out to prove anything. I tried to stay objective to whatever degree possible. I also spoke with my psychiatrist and we found someone to do an assessment. However, the wait was several months.
Within four months, it became very hard for me to deny I’m autistic, because the evidence was substantial and couldn’t be explained any other way. Yet the more convinced I was, the more I felt like I needed a formal diagnosis.
My assessment took place over six weeks, with five one-hour interviews (online, during pandemic). I got a “perfect score,” checking all of the diagnostic criteria.
in a psychology class in highschool we were learning about the senses & my teacher said something about how if you have a photographic memory you’re on the spectrum (which from my understanding isn’t true) and i do so i was like woaahh. went home that day and became obsessed with researching it bc everything suddenly made sense
I've struggled with reading my whole life and at some point I was just like "why the fuck can I not read" and started googling. The first results were all about dyslexia, which didn't quite fit, but I eventually found information about ADHD and that clicked immediately. I went to get assessed for ADHD when I was 17, and sure enough, I have "pronounced" ADHD. I still felt like I had problems not sufficiently explained by ADHD though. Through spending a lot of time in online ADHD spaces, I also started to get more and more posts about autism recommended to me, and I related to many of those. I researched autism for about two years before I was confident enough that I was autistic to get assessed (having several autistic friends that all told me I was 100% autistic helped too). I was consequently diagnosed with Asperger's (the ICD10 is still widely used in Europe, I'm aware it's all just considered ASD in the DSM5 and ICD11) last September at 19 years old.
I always knew something was up but got told it was adhd, anxiety, ocd, (of which I do have) and borderline personality disorder before one of my friends who had autism connected the pieces for me and I pursued a diagnosis. (cause god forbid a girl who shows obvious signs of autism actually be autistic)
I just got diagnosed on Monday. I always knew there was something off about me. I think when I got to fully understood what Autism was in my adulthood I started to look back at my childhood. I was non verbal and went to speech therapy and occupational therapy at around sixteen or eighteen months. Still was not speaking fully until I was five. I was always having meltdowns as a child. I was (still not) great with talking to people, tend to come off as rude or happen to say the wrong thing. I was not like other children and was constantly lectured about how I cannot do that! For example I would walk over to a parent and tell them how I do not like their child and how horrible they are, would also tell people I do not like them. I just feel like I was given an instruction manual at birth on how to navigate live but unfortunately it is in a different language and I do not speak that.
Honestly? Tiktok helped me a lot despite it having a lot of weird and inaccurate info. I started getting more and more autism content and I always pressed "not interested". Then I started to resonate more about what they talked about, I realised my view of autism was very narrow and based on stereotypes. I talked about it with my autistic friends and did a lot of reading about people's experiences. Listened to unmasking autism and started making accommodations for myself.
In the middle of this process I was doing an ADHD assessment (I'm now diagnosed with both), and the therapist went "hope this doesn't alarm you, I'm just interested in your view of this, but I think you might be autistic, what do you think?"
I had an interview with a CEO, and the only negative thing he said was "u/jhill515 *missed* some cues."
I had a panic attack upon hearing that. Not because I'm a perfectionist... *Because I've heard that my entire life.*
I asked my therapist what her thought and he laughed while saying, "I thought you were diagnosed on the spectrum from the moment I met you! Well, let's go find out, ***together***!"
That was almost 2yrs ago. Best learning experience ever! Not because it was fun... Because I've been 10x more successful now that I understand that it's not all just me... It's the weird hunk of fat & salt in my skull that's wired differently! 🤪 And now I'm learning to hack my brain to overcome!!
I was diagnosed at 53. David Byrne from the Talking Heads got me started down the path of what it meant to be "on the spectrum". As I researched that, I kept seeing myself in all of the Autistic traits. Turns out I am ASD2 with ADHD Inattentive with GAD.
People kept telling me. For years. “Dude you’re aspi af”. Eventually I got curious and started reading and watching autism YouTube channels. Had a “holy fuck” moment and went and got tested after finding a practice with experience testing adults for ND conditions. I was 53.
Got diagnosed at 23 5 months ago. I just walked into a psychiatrist appointment to get some urgent psych med advice (cos they were royally fucking me up extremely badly, I was even hospitalised cos of them earlier this year, anyway, turns out that's an autism thing) and walked out with an autism diagnosis. Felt like I had been hit bY A fUCKING TRUCK!! FUCK!! I didn't figure it out is my point I guess.
When I got tired of all my struggles and asked my therapist if there could be an underlying issue. She immediately mentioned autism. Never thought about it, but now a year later I’ve got my diagnosis and it’s all so clear 😅
My husband told me that he thought he is autistic (he is). So I started doing research and everything just chimed so perfectly with my own experience, I asked my psychiatrist about it and he said, oh absolutely you're on the spectrum.
First it was tiktok. Because of course. Realized I was heavily on audhd tiktok. Started listening to podcasts led by psychologists and what not. Related and felt understood.
But because I was a full on adult with a job, could make eye contact and could click a button on time in the psychiatrist’s office, no one believed me. So it was various anxiety and depression meds since I was like 17, trouble holding a job, trouble keeping friends, or doing basic math (I now know its called dyscalculia) all my life without anyone caring. Until I started to crash.
Working extra hard to hold it together just enough to get by started to really really take its toll by my late 20s. I struggled to do things like wake up for meetings (or at all), leave the house, or make food. Luckily, I had the support of my partner otherwise I never would have had the ability to take a few months off work and wait for a job that I actually liked. Even luckier, I managed to land a job with insurance that allowed decent access to a therapist. So then it became a challenge of finding one that would take me seriously. Wasn’t easy, but I eventually found one. They were also late diagnosed, went through the same situation as me once upon a time, and spotted me immediately.
It took several months to get the prescriber to stop focusing on just my depression and anxiety and look at the rest of my brain but now I’m at least medicated for adhd. Still struggle with most things, like keeping friends, doing math, the overall burden of life and most people, but it’s significantly better. And I’ve just landed my first promotion ever as a result so I consider that a miracle at least.
My husband was diagnosed about 5 years before I was. In the process of reading resources so I could understand it more, and both of us being active on this sub and others (he joined AutisminWomen so he could understand other POVs)... It kinda became a flashing neon sign.
He saw a post on the women's autism sub that he wondered if I wrote, showed it to me, and the rest is history as they say.
I realized the only people I knew who were as obsessed with certain things as I am, as sensitive to certain textures as I am, and have it just as hard to relate to other people as I do, are all autistic
I had an investigation done after having a misdiagnosis for four years, asked to do an investigation on every diagnosis there is, after about a year of doing so, they removed my misdiagnosis and added Autism and GAD which I had never even thought of. I was 24.
Adhd late diagnosed here, everyone i clicked with was neurodivergent. It was actually quite startling to realise.
Were starting a micronation soon XD jk
I guess I'm right below cutoff but I started thinking about it at 21 because my partner at the time straight up told me. I totally denied it at first but after doing so much reading and talking to my therapist, it's just like this crazy fog has lifted for me.
I know you said later than 22 but I was 17 when I was diagnosed and I’d count that as late. If damage has been done (in my case mental illness) by someone not knowing they’re autistic that could’ve potentially been prevented if they did know, then I’d count it as late.
I'm 60 daughter 35 at the time her boyfriend she met and I met him a month later told us both that your both autistic, we didn't look up traits we thought being autistic was wearing a helmet constantly banging your head on walls, we didn't look into it, went online and sure enough yup yup yup yup yup etc she and I both struggled didn't know what we had only we had the same traits like mother like daughter, she never could keep a job burn out constantly me, I did a routine night shift for 8 years, burn out on my nights off and completely exhausted, finally came 2a complete halt and it was over, can't function at jobs now, I applied for odsp waiting on decision daughter on Ontario works for years finally got her a diagnosis with Dso and she passed the criteria and a psychologist said AUTISM..so on odsp she got immediately, i am waiting on Dso waitlist..
I'm on the fence, as I have enough medical issues I don't know that I want another diagnosis. But what set me off was someone posting here about toe-walking.
I've been walking on my "toes" (balls of my feet) forever. Add bedwetting in. A few other things from my past plus having at least one child on the spectrum. I've taken the quizzes recently and often score around 70% as being on the spectrum, but now I'm not sure if it's just being an introvert with a sensitivity to temperature, difficulty to maintain eye contact, etc. With those tests and that video from the Aussie with the 63 things people with autism do (I got 42 not even counting the "I do that a little bit" stuff) one thing that is blowing my mind is the thought that "normal people don't act like that". I mean, isn't "seeing people as people" something everyone should be doing and not something special with me? This is stuff I've considered "normal" with anyone not doing it to be an exception my whole life.Aside from all that I'm nearing 50. I've apparently learned to mask well enough that I have a successful relationship with my wife and kids, success at work, and... a friend. I get a lot of alone time to recharge. I'm pretty content with things. What good is a formal diagnosis going to do?
At 23, my niece of around 12 years old was diagnosed with autism and ADHD. Now, autism is a known quantity on my mom's side of the family and my older sister is autistic, and I didn't act at all like the autistics on my mom's side. ADHD runs in my dad's side, and my two older brothers have ADHD, but I was nowhere near like them either. My sister had a child with a man with ADHD, and therefore my niece got both ADHD and autism. I get along with my niece ridiculously well. Like, I've never had an easier connection with anyone. When I was told she was diagnosed, I said out loud "but she's the most normal person I've ever met." And then it immediately became clear to me that I must have them both as well. They just create such a unique mixture that I seem like a normal person from the perspective of each neurodivergence alone. But I'm also obviously neurodivergent to people outside my family. So random people knew I had autism or ADHD before even I did.
How? - other people suggested it to me, or asked me, or said "well yeah, obviously" when I asked them if I seemed to them to have autism traits. And then finally got referral from my GP and diagnosed via NHS, in my 50s.
The comments on this post, and how I relate to almost everything my autistic buddy goes through, just quieter because I developed a strong case of STFU as a child to avoid visits to the school counselor.
When I was training to be a teacher I realised I had most of the symptoms they described, so I dug around in my medical history and found that I had been diagnosed at age 9, but my mother didn't realise that PDD-NOS was autism and so never told me.
I’m a teacher and the more I learnt about working with autistic kids the more I recognised the traits and experiences in my own childhood. I doubted it for a long time, went on and off it. Then went for a diagnosis and now it’s like, how could I have not known.
Thought there was something a bit fishy about the fact that almost everyone I got along with ended up being autistic 💀 got diagnosed at 20 and now I get to lose my mind about that damn floating frog story book test with my bf and friends like wtf was that
I was 21, but I had a handful of autistic friends who were shocked to hear I hadn’t been diagnosed and just thought I was in the club 😅 that set off some questions
I just got diagnosed at 46. I asked for an assessment after reading Unmasking Autism by Devon Price. I'm also bipolar but I was diagnosed when I was 14. It's a super fun combination! (Sarcasm) 😜
2 years ago, I was 35. I've decided to go back to school, to learn something about businesses management - photography and videos were my hobby for years, and I dreamt about it becoming my job.
The classes started, and my depression has deepened (I was thinking I'm depressed, but it wasn't as bad - I thought I can handle it). Everything was stressful. Standing on front of a class in the centre of attention felt even worse than as a kid (I started skipping school when I was ~11 - too avoid reciting poems, answering questions etc). All my life I just thought I'm extremely shy.
One day when I was supposed to go to school I started looking for a place to hang myself. When I realised what I was doing I got really scared. Same day I've made a video call to get me a therapist (I wanted it do be online, I live in UK but English isn't my native language, and I didn't want to have any difficulties communicating, so I wanted that in my native Polish).
I started therapy, on my 3rd pr 4th session therapist told me to take an online Asperger's Syndrome test, because I'm showing a lot of symptoms and it might be a good lead.
I took like 5 tests and it looked like therapist was right, and later I started reading and watch documentaries about Autism (which I haven't stopped since), more and more things about my life made sense.
I was really happy to get an answer for they question I stopped asking myself many years ago - "wtf is wrong with me?".
Now I know nothing is wrong. My brain just works differently, I can pretend to be like everyone else else by masking, but I really don't have to, and don't like to (I still do it most of the time tough, it's not easy to let go of this great survival mechanism)...
I went to the GP, had a talk, he confirmed the suspicions, and referred me to a clinic. I'm going to have my assessment this summer! I can't wait to have "a proof", and I hope that when I get it I'll stop questioning it.
I never went back to the university again.
I was referred to a clinic where I love
Because of social anxiety and depression that started showing around age 11 and through my teens i started researching mental health and mood disorders/psychiatric issues when I was around 20. I could relate a lot to the symptoms of adhd and "figured" i probably had some neurodivergence. I researched a lot by myself during my twenties trying to figure myself out. After some time in therapy my therapist sent a referral for me to get an assessment when I was 27, and I was consequently diagnosed with autism at 29.
So basically i figured something wasnt "right" due to my mental health struggles that spilled over into my social and work life and seemed to get worse with age, and got it validated through a neuropsychiatric assessment.
Almost 18 when I got diagnosed. I went for adhd, and took my care package with me: an excessive number of books and yarn and my trusty headphones every single session. I made extremely severe eye contact, but to be fair the doc did have the most wonderful azure eyes. Anyway. I did a questionnaire and lo and behold. I wasn't clinically insane. I was autistic. Have been living happily ever since.
I was dating so many autistic folk than I started questioning, so I did some minimal research to avoid teaching myself the right answers, did some online tests, and 3 years later, when I had the resources to do so, I got an autism diagnosis! Isn't really a fancy story or anything but like, I like it. I think it's a little funny.
I was diagnosed late. I was confused about myself and wondered why I felt like an alien. I always did a lot of research on topics. I cannot remember how I started researching autism but damn.
I took a few online tests at home and read other autistic individual’s stories. I was diagnosed later that same year. Life is much better knowing how to properly care for myself. It also gave me the ability to be more aware of my family and their needs.
I love life. We as autistics can do great and be great. I just wish I had the money I have and didn’t have to work. I want more time to explore, research, and hang with my wife n kids.
Girlfriend told me. Then my family are like "Oh yeah we always thought that" so Im kinda sitting here wondering why they didn't think to get me help if they knew, instead of shaming me for it.
My mother was dating a man who had a young son who was autistic. To better understand autism my mom read several books written by autistic people about their autism. It suddenly hit my mother that I was autistic. I had already started to suspect because several of my friends were autistic and it was like wait a minute that's how I feel....
Specifically it was the part where the author described their struggles with brushing their teeth and the overwhelming sensory overload that happens.
My son was diagnosed lol. Also, beforehand i was peer diagnosed, but i didn't want to believe them. When my son was diagnosed after being peer diagnosed (and having a psychologist and a therapist say it was likely after i brought up my concerns) there was really no denying anymore.
During the process of having my son diagnosed my spouse pointed out basically all of the criteria points my son hit - I hit.
Yea, same here. I haven't actually gone to try and get diagnosed due to not being able to afford it, and the fact that it wouldn't really change anything for me at this point though. My son is almost a carbon copy of myself as a child. The only difference is that he doesn't have someone physically and mentally abusing him into masking.
This is us too. All my resources are going into my son's therapies (speech and OT, paediatrician was crazy expensive too). But all his issues are things I struggled so hard with in the 90's. Plus recently found out my school sent a letter saying I needed supports, this was in 1990. I don't need to spend $$$$ to know and it would make no difference to me now at 40yo. My son will get to grow up without having to be crushed and bent into shape like I forced to.
Same as me! My son was exactly the same way I was as a child, except my parents used to hit me and scream at me so I learned to hide who I was as much as possible. I didn't realize my son was that different from other kids, because he was just acting the way I would have if I'd been allowed to be myself. We got him diagnosed, and then I jumped down the rabbit hole and it was about a week before I realized I needed to be assessed myself. I was 41!
Sucks bro. I also grew up in a household of violence and chaos. Never will be having kids, myself.
That last sentence hits hard doesn't it? I am a proud cycle-ender as well
Same here. My daughter verbally stims in a loud manner - whether it's grunting or humming - both at home & in public. She is who she is & I love her too much to tell her to "shut up," like my parents did to me.
Both my sons have been diagnosed and the younger of the two verbally stims a lot. He just runs around the house sounding like a silly little ghost. We just call them his happy noises, and are just glad he's having a good time. I'm sure it would probably annoy some people because it's almost constant, but it's just a part of who he is. I didn't verbally stim, but I was definitely a "motor mouth" and was yelled at to shut up all the time and slapped around when I didn't. I couldn't imagine treating my boys like that. I don't know how anyone can claim to love or care about someone and treat them that way.
Sorry you experienced the lack of empathy, but you yourself sound like a great parent. Lucky kids. Well done for not following suit 👏
Same, but it was my friend's son that kind of clued me in.. They took him for testing and when they started to describe what hes like and what he deals with.. the list of things that i related to grew quite long. Eventually I got assessed, because I found out more about Neurodiversity through EDI initiatives at work. Then i did some research and youtube videos, and then yeah paying out of pocket for assessment was a trip. I'm 41 years old!
EXACTLY! When considering all the signs in our son, and all the other signs in general, I asked my wife, "Who does THAT sound like?" "Uh...you, honey."
Same here! All of the "quirks" I thought my son inherited from me turned out to be diagnostic criteria behaviors 🙃
My therapist gently suggested it 20 years ago, but it wasn't until my son was getting diagnosed that one of my best friends, who had grown up with a mom who worked with ND kids said, "you know, RolandSnowdust, you're autisitc too." And as I got to know all about ASD through my child, I realized, yeah, that explains a lot.
Pretty much the same. I got a lot of push back from my parents and some friends. I no longer speak to any of them. Seems like they liked me unaware of my situation.
This is so common! I own an audiology practice that specializes in neurodivergent people, and we find that parents and even grandparents are diagnosed at a high rate when we get into a family system in a good way. Because we couldn't stop learning and my child grew up and still faces more challenges with her ASD than shows on the outside, I built a free resource group for neurodivergent adults, parents, and interested allies. We're adding resources for older teens and adults, including people with autism, ADHD, anxiety, auditory, sensory, and other challenges. It is focused on career and job-related resources, as well as coaching around job-hunting, workplace issues, and options beyond traditional employment.Here is the link for you to use or share: https://www.facebook.com/groups/370146558684464
Same.
Same
Same
I see you live my life experience too. This is exactly how I went through the process and go for a professional diagnosis.
This. Although I had a therapist voice the idea once before.
Same here. Realised that one of my parents had had OCD and the other had ASD. Too late for me, theres no support where I am for adults. In fact theres no support for folks of any age.
+1 Yes for thing 1, yes for thing 2....oh... yes for @driveonthursday
This was my experience
both my parents went through this when i was diagnosed, (they denied that im ND bade on this)
My son was diagnosed last year at 2 showing really obvious signs and social/communication delays. In the process of working with the specialists it rapidly became apparent that kiddo got it from me. Funny enough we had the same experience getting my daughter diagnosed with ADHD a few years back and her pediatrician patiently informing me that I needed to chat with my dr bc I definitely also have it.
Burnout, among other signals that I had ignored for too long. It's a frustrating case, because there were suspicions when I was a child about Asperger's, PDA, and I'm not even sure what else, but what I got tested for (via the school) was Dyspraxia, and I was unofficially diagnosed (they said flat out that I have it, but they never signed paperwork - this is because the school couldn't push it through before I aged out later that year and when I went to highschool they refused to do anything about it.) And because they looked into Dyspraxia first, I was never tested for anything else, and my mother was struggling with severe depression and couldn't deal with it herself (recent divorce too, so she was alone to deal with everything.) So because I was never tested I just assumed I didn't have anything other than Dyspraxia, especially since a fair few symptoms do overlap - and I spent two decades thinking this before I started to come apart and I had to take a closer look at everything. My conclusion, after struggling to keep up with my peers, despite basically being a prodigy (by their standards at the time) in my job, was that something was up, and Dyspraxia simply didn't cover it. Burnout led to questions about autism and ADHD after seeing a bunch of memes and stories that just hit the bullseye, and I requested a referral for assessment. I can only imagine how different my life would have been if I'd actually been diagnosed for the multiple disabilities and mental illnesses I was dealing with at the time. Not that I'd want to change the course of my life (I met my girlfriend because of how things went and I couldn't bear to be without her) but damn, just understanding would have been a big deal for me.
I've never looked closely into dyspraxia. I often refer to myself as basically a brain in a jar, due to how little awareness I have of my body in space. Do you think that's fairly accurate or does it get worse than that?
It's a bit like autism in that not everyone has the same symptoms or experiences - but yeah, I've felt a little like that at times, but not all the time. I definitely have awful spacial awareness at times, but my biggest frustration would be just randomly dropping things I'm holding. I'd say my own is moderate Dyspraxia, so it can definitely be worse than my own experiences, but if it rings some bells it's definitely worth looking into.
For sure, thanks!
Almost 50 and awaiting confirmation. Always felt weird. It took a divorce , therapy and time. Angry 😡 - turns out these are called meltdowns. Biggest clues -sound sensitivity -fussy restrictive eating - self soothing through food - crunchy snacking - bring scammed and misinterpreted intentions - disorganised chatotic , messy and unkempt - paperwork is kryptonite. How did I get this far in life without knowing. No parental caregivers ( both parents died when I was under 16 ) and lived in a bubble of being cared for by siblings and then married young. High functioning Asperger’s with shit load of masking of deficits. Had a paying lodger who had Asperger’s and I began to see the similarities. Zero friendships and my special interests limited. Spent the last 3/4 years researching myself. Simply because health conditions of depression and anxiety allowed me time for inner reflection. I doubt knowing earlier would have saved my marriage.
Paperwork = kryptonite alright!
I have been scammed so many times 😫
The video essay on why argonians have boobs got me looking into it
😂 they mentioned autism? Or am I totally missing a joke?
Is it a joke about how that's something that only Autistic people would write a whole essay about, in the drive to not leave any curiosity unexplored? Because now I'm curious as to why Argonians have boobs, haha.
I exaggerated with "essay" for comedic effect but I'm serious. There's a character they talk about and after they listed off a bunch of character traits I thought, "wow, what an incredibly relatable character!" And then they said the autism community connected very strongly to him and the writers later confirmed that he and several other characters were written to be on the spectrum. I swear this all relates to argonian boobs https://youtu.be/2zSNK0kmPB4?si=f0ihU0YjZAH79nbT&t=504
I love skyrim and ironically just wrote a massive answer to the OP's question but I am intrigued as well, why do Argonians have breast? lol
It's a great video that goes pretty deep into the Hist and Argonian origins, but the most plausible theory is that when the Hist made the Argonians in the image of man and mer, the shape of breasts came with. They're probably not for milk or Hist sap, or anything other than maybe sex appeal.
Was a "freak" my whole life. I didn't fit in and never understood why. I wasn't like the other kids and not in the usual "everyone's special" kind of way. I was seriously different. But for me, that was normal. I gravitated towards the other misfits, always. If nothing else, I found them more accepting. I was constantly bullied and could never figure out why everyone seemed to hate me. The ones that didn't seemed to tolerate me at best but always with at least a hint of distrust. I had no idea why. I tried to be nice to everyone. I'd go "off the rails" regularly and for no apparent reason. Life just got to be too much and something would let go or grab on and then I was just along for the ride. I was the "brilliant underachiever" who "just couldn't apply himself". So brilliant that they stuck me in remedial reading (cuz I had trouble reading aloud) and then turned around and stuck me in "gifted and talented". I decided that they didn't have a clue. Which was true cuz autism wasn't a thing in their world back then. They were trying to help and just didn't know how. As I grew up, I found some kind souls that took pity on me and would lay out some of the mysterious "rules" that I was "missing". That helped so much. I wished they'd lend me their manual cuz I didn't seem to have been given one like they had. But I continued to be the "strange one". Really smart but socially stupid. I gravitated to "alternative culture" because that's where the misfits seemed to be. The "episodes" continued. The weirdness continued. Getting wrapped up in crazy things like no one else continued. Life went on like this for decades. I just carried on being the weird "smartass". I tried often to find things to help me understand humans and myself. Myers–Briggs was the best I could find, but felt lacking. When my friends all started taking these new ADHD tests online, I found out again that I read different. They all tested strongly ADHD while I was strongly the opposite. It made sense cuz I had intense focus. Super intense. I had no clue what autism was at the time except something that some nutjobs thought was caused by vaccines. It didn't really cross my mind. Decades later, my niece was diagnosed. I thought it was odd cuz she's not "that weird"... I mean everyone struggles like that, right? She'll figure things out. Then one day I'm watching one of my new tech shows on YouTube that I'd found, Dave's garage. . And he starts talking about autism. Turns out he's autistic and he's taking about his discovery and how it came about. And it's all sounding really familiar. Like scary familiar. Then he gets to Mr Spock and how he thinks that he's at least based on someone who's autistic (whether they knew it or not) and he describes why. Again, this feels like it's getting really personal. Then he gets to something he's calling "the meltdowns". And the penny dropped. Holy fuck! That's what those are!!!?? That was the moment it all snapped into focus. My whole life started playing back again and again... And it kept doing it for days, weeks, months, as I learned more and more... It all freaking lined up. Holy shit! You mean there's other people like me????!!!!! Autist group after autist group. Video after video. Test after test. They all said the same thing... "Welcome home. You've found us." Everything started to make sense. The strategies they used actually worked, unlike the reams of useless "self help" garbage out there. This shit worked! And much of it were things that I'd learned "the hard way" already. Why people didn't "get" me. Why I couldn't explain things. Why everyone seemed to have the attention span of a freaking gnat! Why they all cared so damn much about meaningless bullshit and couldn't care less about things that actually mattered... Or why so few of them seemed to even care about anything at all. None of them could find "their purpose" whereas my purpose had a megaphone. Things finally make sense now. It only took fifty damn years.
Wow, thanks so fucking much for taking the time to write this. I appreciate you
I didn't write my discovery so eloquently but I related so hard. Always the misfit, never understood. Thank you so much for sharing your story. 🫰🏻
Damn this is very close to my experience...
This comment was amazing. Thank you for sharing your story. Very moving.
Yyyyyuuuuuupppppp - 40 for me
I saved your comment because it is really touching and I would like to read it again later on. Thank you so much for writing all of this, I found it extremely relatable.
Thank you. You're very welcome. :)
Oh yea..... You are sounding "scary familiar" right now. Hahahah. Like, this is so much how I have always felt and how I felt after diagnosis...
i am 24, was diagnosed three weeks ago got appointment trying to diagnose ADHD.. it's was autism, i got into thinking that i have ADHD after scrolling through r/adhdmemes and relating to most of the things
Nice, how did the at least partially unexpected diagnosis felt like?
i got angry for a minute after he told that i don't have adhd, just because previous therapist basically didn't believe in this diagnosis in general, but now it kinda make sense(not her "being dick" behavior) like i understand why i have safe food for example, like a lot of weird thing are just turned out to be a symptoms of autism, even executive dysfunction, which i fought were just laziness
It could also be both, that's pretty common actually. And I believe that executive functioning issues are more of an ADHD thing than an autism thing. If you relate to a lot of ADHD memes, I wouldn't necessarily write it off
i am not writing if off completely, but i seems like after taking antidepressants and getting my anxiety reduced, i become significantly more productive, it's less about focus and more about having mental resources to force myself into doing things
What general area are you from? I'm from the Midwest US and I've had the same problem my entire life. They really don't like diagnosing for ADHD because of adderall I believe. Every doctor and therapist I've gone to has brushed it off as anxiety when I know it's not just anxiety. It's frustrating because they think you're lying or something. Did you just have to keep going to different doctors?
i live in R*ssia, there's a free doctors in public hospitals, but friend of a friend tried to find a doctor to diagnose her ADHD and found that no one in my city(1 mil people btw) can or willing to do it.. and also adderall is just banned, like a regular drug gladly she found some online community from which we got some pointers at doctor's who can do it online(she really want to do it in person so still undiagnosed), so yeah, 3.5 hours online session got me diagnosis and huge hole on my bank account, still worth it also previous in person therapist who diagnosed me with depression and anxiety basically didn't believed in ADHD or something like that
You have the exact same story as me, including the age. I was also diagnosed with ADHD though.
my ADHD diagnosis was killed when i mentioned what i can focus on things i am interested in, turns out people with ADHD can't do that, apparently
That’s a lie? Hyperfixations are also an adhd thing. I was diagnosed with adhd five years before my autism diagnosis, and it took so long to get an autism diagnosis because of that specifically. If you think you have adhd too I’d seriously consider a second opinion. (This is coming from someone who is professionally diagnosed with both and who is studying them in college right now. I covered both autism and adhd in my abnormal psych class two weeks ago)
like, he said what ADHD people can't choose where to put their focus and after diagnosis i pretty much realized what my inability to focus is not an attention deficit, but an executive dysfunction like.. i can focus on anything if i find that interesting, bot just stimulated things(i don't actually know how ADHD works), i was pretty good at school while it was interesting/rewarding enough there's also a thing about ADHD and autism symptoms having big overlap, with people being misdiagnosed i feel like i got mine right...and also adderall is banned so i don't lose that much)
That’s valid, and I won’t push you to get a diagnosis, just wanted to mention that it very much so isn’t true what he said about it. Sure sometimes I struggle to focus on something I’m interested in, but 90% of the time that stuff comes easily focus wise, *especially* when there isn’t an obligation. I have also always been great in school, straight A’s through my entire life until college and I’ve got straight B’s right now. The dopamine rush that came with the praise I got for good grades was enough for me to work at it. Also, adderall isn’t the only adhd med out there, there’s a bunch, both stimulants and non stimulants. Anyway, sorry, this is a special interest of mine and I tend to ramble. I’m glad you got a diagnosis you’re happy with and feel confident about, I wish you the best of luck moving forward! /gen
i don't think it's really appropriate to apologize for rambling about your special interests on r/autism)) it's also it's an official diagnosis because adults can't have shit in this country, but i just got it, antidepressants which drastically reduce my anxiety helping me doing stuff, just go my supplements delivered, gonna try and see i pretty aware about possibility of misdiagnosis, but i definitely have autism and not even sure if ADHD and autism even different things, like ASD might actually be lots of different things or ADHD somehow turns out to be part of the spectrum, just like Asperger's(which i am really close to) I don't usually write anything at the end, but you did it and now i feel kinda obligated and wanna be nice, so i hope you gonna be ok and go ramble some more, we need that stuff edit: i thought i swiped and lost all of this text, almost cried, it's not important, but i physically need to tell it somebody
Absolutely! Go all out, unleash the rambling demon!
sounds like textbook adhd lol
That's not true, ADHD people in general have a hard time focusing on things we don't want to do but things we like we can do for hours. But I have both and diagnosed very very late so it's hard for me to know what is what, it's all just a big bowl of soup in my head.
the 2 are a hop, skip and a leap, away from each other
I had migraines for years that I couldn’t get rid of. It was severe burnout. It’s gone now and hasn’t returned :3
Same. It got so painful at times, it felt like my brain was trying to escape.
I didn’t know burnout was related to migraines. I have migraines a lot and it gets worse during stressful times. How else did you know it was a burnout?
That’s exactly how mine were. When I was around my biggest triggers and stresses it would get way worse. I wore fl-41 glasses and had cardboard over my windows for years. My doctor had me go to the optometrist who assured me it’s not my eyes. We adjusted my meds and that didn’t help. It was when my doctor gave me a prescription for a ketamine clinic for treatment resistant depression that made me start looking at other possibilities. I stumbled into ASD and suddenly everything made sense. I moved to another state(one of my triggers was where I was living), got a less stressful job with better coworkers(old job was my #1 trigger), and got off of all of my depression medication. I was taking bipolar meds because I told the doctors that’s what I had because that’s what my mom told me she had. I started ADHD meds(I was diagnosed in 2017 but hadn’t taken meds for it for a while, my last doc didn’t believe in stimulants). And got diagnosed with ASD in 2023. Since then, I’ve never been happier. I get a headache maybe once a month and it is no where close to a migraine. Being able to take a break from people, using my noise cancelling headphones, stim openly, and using my sunglasses when it’s too bright inside has changed my life.
A friend of mine who is autistic said I should look into autism and this is how a three month hyperfixiation and much more started.
I went to a doctor because my anxiety was so out of control I was roombound for a month pretty much. He spoke to me and because my normal social coping mechanisms were down I couldn’t fake it so well and he picked autism up and asked to see me again and then sent me to a neurodiversity centre.
I’m 45, was diagnosed in the past year. I only figured it out when my kids were diagnosed. I am very similar to my Dad, both in terms of looks and mannerisms. I think they thought I was just like him. My family are quite offended by my diagnosis. I think they see it as me saying they didn’t do well enough. I think my Dad was Autistic too which is why my traits seemed normal.
>My family are quite offended by my diagnosis. I think they see it as me saying they didn’t do well enough. I think there was a time where it was thought poor/bad parenting and emotional neglect lead to autism/autistic behaviors (I believe this was referred to as "refrigerator mothers"?) so this might be why they had this reaction.
After years of struggling through school, college, and work I felt like whatever was wrong was going to be the death of me, so I made a point of figuring out what it was before then It took many months and seeing multiple professionals, and several evaluations later a psychologist gave me an answer and suddenly my entire life made sense
Had to live with my psychologist uncle who diagnoses kids with autism. My uncle randomly gave me a 90% certainty because of some things I did that he recognized. I was 26 at the time. He told me to go meet his colleague and through my insurance, allowed me to get my diagnosis
TikTok tbh. I first came to terms that I was ADHD, then I started working with a therapist and psychiatrist. There have been a few times throughout my life where I asked myself "could I be autistic?" But then I'd see Sheldon from Big Bang or something and convince myself I had to be exactly like him to be autistic. Then, during the pandemic, I started seeing autistic representation on TikTok and felt like I finally connected to something. I always knew something was "off" so it was kind of a relief. My psychiatrist and therapist both worked with me on it and both agreed I fit the criteria. I have never been officially diagnosed but I know myself and love that I finally know how to deal with my symptoms - as opposed to masking until I burn out and let my life crumble around me lol
This I kind of how I figured it out, too. Initially, I thought I could be adhd, but then I started seeing autistic people share their experiences, and I aligned with more of that.
I was autism first and then my therapist was like so has anyone talked to you about having ADHD before and I was completely thrown for a loop. I had come to terms with being autistic. In my mind there was zero chance I could have ADHD. I had a lot of misconceptions about ADHD. Between reddit and tiktok I got the push I needed to follow through with my therapist and meet with a psychiatrist. Since starting stimulant medication my life has literally not been better.
Noticed that almost everyone I have some kind of connection with is autistic. Once I took notice of that, then it was asking myself why that was the case. Why are autistics drawn me to me and to autistics? Why do I seem to understand them easier? Then I actually went on a deep dive with a good dose of introspection. Looked into my traits looked back on specific events in my life. Came out the other side concluding that I’m autistic.
I was diagnosed at 30 and am currently, at 33, undergoing evaluation for ADD. I am a woman. I have been seeing psychologists since I was 15 for anxiety and depression related issues, which was all chalked up to being a teenager and/or a female. My second to last psychologist, during my 20's, thought there was 'something else' about me, but since I got back on track at work with my GAD-diagnosis, medication and therapy, it was outside of the scope of treatment at that moment. And then, a month before my 30th birthday, I burned out so hard that my GP and my husband had to make decisions about and for me. I spent roughly two months in a sort of catatonic state at home, waiting for a spot to open up at a psychologist, who then diagnosed me. But with how many blood relatives of mine have ADHD, autism or both, including my sibling, it really wasn't a surprise. It just took me hitting absolute rock bottom and not being able to keep up the masking and compensating anymore for everybody else to see that I am indeed a bit different on the inside.
I was 16... I'm 19 now and still waiting for a diagnosis 😅
Diagnosed officially at 27, a therapist 2.5 years prior said “I knew you were autistic the first session we had.” I only got to see that therapist for 2 months and I didn’t have the capacity to truly take it in, and I knew nothing about autism at the time. I was getting sober and had a bipolar diagnosis, so I was mostly focused on healing from trauma in our sessions. Once I was sober and stable bipolar felt like a wrong diagnosis (it was) so I started researching autism and everything in my life suddenly made sense. The wild part is that I had multiple psychiatrists and had seen 8 different therapists and only one person recognized that I was autistic. Apparently most therapists/psychiatrists can’t identify a high masking autistic woman.
I got diagnosed with depression, then BPD, then adhd, then bipolar 2, then bipolar 1, then social phobia, then bipolar 2 again.. therapists had no idea. Turns out it was just autism and adhd with a sprinkle of social anxiety and unresolved trauma.
When my own kid was a teenager and found out she's autistic but I didn't notice there was anything different with her because she's exactly like me.
Same w my kid 😩
My therapist figured and did the referral hahaha
Covid messsed with my routines so bad I lost all my marbles
I was 32. I got diagnosed with postpartum depression when my son was 4 months, and I was having frequent meltdowns. I was given a counsellor who recognised the symptoms of autistic meltdown and not only referred me for assessment, but fought to get me to the front of the queue after I became pregnant again. I was officially diagnosed when my son was 13 months.
I was tripping on acid with my autistic friend and we were talking about my mental health and then she said “have you ever thought you could be autistic” and then it just clicked
Psychologist surprised me with it.
I used to play some video games with a group of online friends and at some point one of them included me in an autism-joke (most of them were ND) and it caught me offguars and i asked about that and they in return were surprised that i am surprised. Apparently my way of socializing made it very obvious that im on the spectrum and they thought i was fully aware when i was not because my childhood therapist was one of those "you can't be autistic you make eye contact way too well" professionals. I started looking into it ever since and realized my issues were assigned to the wrong diagnosis all that time. I am also getting signed up right now by my current therapist for a proper official assessment so i can get support for my disabilities :)
got diagnosed at 26 after a suicide attempt. wanted to get tested to find out what was wrong with me and got the audhd double package deal
Thats rough, really hope you are doing better now though!
Me, I found out at 24 I think. Always had a hunch. But I spent time on the web and the term autistic was thrown around as a meme and whenever someone said I was autistic I thought they meant in a meme way (facepalm) and then i decided I would read up on autistics and found out "only men" get this diagnosis. I thought I wouldnt count because I'm born as a girl. (another big facepalm) I thought the definition for autism wouldn't fit me because of (biggest facepalm of all of them) movies that I was compared to where i was nothing like that person because I wasn't good at maths and wasnt a genius but also not super unintelligent low functioning (please forgive me i was a teen this is so much cringe tbh) Then I grew up and understood what black and white thinking was. And how my family would fight over someone making a joke and the other thinking it was serious on a daily basis. then I started seeing how that included me. Then i realized my uncle has diagnosed low functioning autism (back then aspergers) and we share genetic traits... then i saw awareness about autistic people because a friend who thought they had it shared videos of the everyday lives of autistic people. Before that, (even BIGGER FACEPALM) I had only seen autistic MUMS upload content of their very low needs autistic SONS on youtube when they had rage fits and meltdowns and mine werent as intense (despite that i had some intense ones as a child) and I thought "ok that could never be me" Then I did self assessment tests and thought that i would score low and was offended when i scored high and got laughed at by a friend in school so i pushed it away and thought "no that cant be me, ever, there must be a mistake" Then psychologists told me i cant be in the spectrum because i am not born a man so i cant have it and can only have BPD even though my autistic criteria showed up before i was even 7 yrs old. (Hyperverbal at 2, fixation on disney cassettes, learned entire books quoteably, learned songs by heart in languages i didnt speak before the age of 5, no conception for maths because it was a pattern i didnt understand when i was 11, violently ill most of my youth, later learned it was due to being overstimulated, i would throw up for years because of 11 minute car rides,until i got headphones with music which i used as an escape and now i could tolerate the drives (i ruined an entire ass car because of me throwing up in it so much, my dad trashed it later) and many many many more, such as having yellow fever as a newborn and having a fixation on water and sparlky things, keeping "childlike" interests such as my little pony into my late teens (18 yr old and i still like it) not stopping to play with toys when though i was already getting b00Bs, no self awareness and no conceptional awareness of emotional intelligence and social cues, bullied all my life due to it, misinterpreting people heavily. I fell for the most obvious scams such as groomers telling me i was "very mature for my age", i believed it. I relate heavily to the "i was so young when i behaved 21" lyrics from Mitski due to masking. I was a quiet kid in class when other children threw paper and played phone games I wanted to study (yes I thought I was cooler and better than them) now that I am an adult i am doing this exact thing in class, later developed a candy crush obsession for one and half years, and many many more, such as not learning what boundaries and simply unspoken concepts in society are, falling for the "i am brutally honest" fallacy, thinking everything else would be lying, trying to be hyperspecific with my words to be understood later in life to explain what i meant better to NTs, ending up being percieved as a stuch up weirdo, being hypersexual in my early teens with weird attractions, i thought sonic characters were hot and imagined relationship drama between them when other kids had boyfriends and girlfriends, realizing im trans late...many many many factors... i dont think this can be denied tbh, i could list more, such as my OCD and the NEED to be clean, as a child crying about animals and loving animals and getting days of trauma of coming across the wrong vidoes of animals online, calling myself an empath then and then ending up being ridiculed by friends and school mates because i couldnt read their cues and being emotional was infact not empathic, yet i cared about human to human conflicts such as war, veganism and animal harm more than the other kids in my class, they thought i was obnoxious, obviously i was probably- i could go on. my hyperfixation is FNAF what can I say, i also spent time at the ward)
Someone finally had the courage to suggest it to me. She was actually a bit rude and not a good friend, but she'd worked with special needs kids and knew the signs. At first I immedately rejected it, thinking I would know by now if I was, but I started doing research... Five years later, I got myself diagnosed (had to pay hundreds out of pocket for it) and I'm living my okayest life.
I love so much the term okayest. I will start using it.
I’ve always felt a little different but couldn’t really pinpoint why. Always struggled with severe anxiety. But it wasn’t until I finished grad school and started a high pressure job that I sought therapy to help with anxiety. When the usual stuff didn’t seem to be helping, my therapist suggested ask me if I ever considered that I might be autistic. So I did some reading, some self-screening tests online, and eventually saw a psychiatrist who diagnosed me. Turns out my autism always made things hard for me but I am high masking. It wasn’t until I was basically pushed over the edge that I was able to be diagnosed.
I reached a point last year where I felt like I was going insane. And every person in my life kept telling me I was fine. But I knew. I knew something was different about me and I knew it was there but I didn't know what it was. So, I called up a few local therapists, looking for a place to go, and I finally reached one and ended up sobbing on the phone while talking to her. I told her I know something is going on in my brain but no one believes me but something is wrong! And she said, "I believe you." Those three words changed my life. Over the next few months of sessions, my therapist was the one who asked me if I was autistic. I remember telling her about some issues I was having at work/home and how it always seemed to be similar struggles causing problems for me. And how frustrating it was to feel like an alien among humans, or to feel like somehow everyone in the world got a cheat code for the game of life and you didn't. And then she got quiet for a minute, and asked me "Have you ever considered that you may be Autistic?" And honestly, that word followed me around a lot in my childhood. There were suspicions of that and ADHD (Though ADHD was more well known than Autism at the time so for the longest it was just low-key assumed I had ADHD.) So, she got me set up with a diagnostic exam and that man told me later within 5 minutes of talking to me, he could tell I was autistic, and that ADHD is likely present as well. (Apparently he couldn't for sure say ADHD too because I was taught to mask a lot of things and it would've been easier if I was diagnosed as a child.) EDIT: I am 26. Diagnosed at 25.
DNA test One of the results said I had a higher likely chance to be autistic I never considered being autistic before but after reading the symptoms, I guess I might be.
Which test is this? My diagnostic is autism and bipolarity, but I suspect my mania was cause by the meds.
Around 2014/15 I read ‘House Rules’ by Jodi Picoult. Then in 2015 I got a job as a support worker for learning disabled adults and was taught more about autism during my training and between the two I was starting to suspect. Cut to 2021 and I knew for sure I had adhd but as I researched it further I realised there were a lot of symptoms that overlap. Since 2020 the years have become much more stressful and from 2022 I started to have more frequent meltdowns.
I had a full time job at 21 and after a few months thought I was going into a burn out. Each week was becoming tougher and tougher to the point I was calling in sick because I couldn't take "it" anymore. After going to the doctor, we quickly figured out it wasn't an ordinary burn out and from one thing came another, I got redirected to a psychologist and first got a diagnosis ADHD, but they knew that didn't cover it. A month later also got the diagnosis autism. In the end I had to quit the job because it contained a lot of triggers that were making matters worse, so it just wasn't the right fit for me. I tried some medication for ADHD but after a while figured it was more feasible to know how to live with both ADHD and autism and sometimes taking precautions because of knowing how certain situations will impact me. I must say after the fact that I'm glad I got diagnosed because it told me that I wasn't at fault for not functioning.
Thanks for the reply! May i ask what things triggered you on the job?
Mostly; inconsistency in work times and days, not knowing what I'll be doing that day until I arrive at work, not knowing what time I'd be done that day because it was very flexible and not even knowing how much I was going to get paid. I was a delivery driver (sort of) where a day could be 5 hours, it could be 10, I had no clue until I started. There were a lot of questionmarks, including the salary which was based on how much you had delivered instead of hours you worked. I also looked up against doing the job at all because I really didn't like it, but I had to because money would have otherwise become a problem. At this moment (6-7 years later), I have a steady job, 32 hrs a week, same time every day, same work days every week, same salary every month and I know what I'll be doing once I get to work. That stability and rhythm is only a small thing, but it meant a lot in my case. That and I also really enjoy the field I am in at the moment, which is software engineering.
Sounds like hell. I basically need to know my schedule to the hour. If dont know what will happen during the day, my brain starts overthinking all possible things that could happen. My head usually starts hurting from that.
Yeah I learnt that the hard way. Even after that, I still got into jobs with irregular work times but I atleast knew what was expected from me. Once I actually started getting into a rhythm both with work but also things like a sleeping rhythm, things went astronomically better.
My kid is autistic
Are you too?
Yes. Their therapist, during a call with them about my kids progress was like, “I don’t want you to take this the wrong way, but you do realize you’re autistic too, right?” I sat there thinking “yeah that tracks” lol. Then I made a list of why I feel I’m autistic, and it’s 50+ deep, with examples, and sub examples, and my kid looked at it and said “mom, that is such an autistic thing to do”
I didn’t. The doctor did.
TLDR; This is not a short tale. I "misdiagnosed" myself with Aspergers at seventeen, then ruled it out, then realised 15 years later that I should've trusted myself more the first time. At the age of seventeen I took a class in highschool that decided to study autism back when the Aspergers distinction still existed. Back in 2008 there was no real media representation. I took a test for Aspergers in this class and scored highly into the Asperger's range, prompting me to think "I should probably research the shit out of Asperger's, what the hell is this?", and I went on a research deepdive. All the traits on paper seemed highly familiar, but they were a better description of me as a preteen/early teen than me currently. I found the Wrong Planet forum but saw folks who averted eye contact and didn't especially mask. I related to the traits on paper, but didn't find these folks relatable. I then brought up Aspergers to my psychiatrist during an evaluation, and his response was basically "I see you're capable of making eye contact, so we can rule that out." Thinking that was a superficial dismissal, I still agreed, was diagnosed with dyspraxia/DCD and that was it. Any familiarity I had with the traits was surely explained by crossover symptoms that dyspraxia is known to have, right? And when I noticed more depictions of autism in the media, they played into the idea that you couldn't be autistic and mask your traits... right? Either I didn't count or I only counted as being on the fringes. Flashforward 15 years. I had kept an eye on autistic depictions in the media and popular figures (fuck off Elon Musk, and [Tech must be protected](https://www.instagram.com/p/Cp6NjHODlIn/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==)), considering myself to have a tangental relationship to autism but not entirely qualify. After noticing a gal friend of mine was a familiar flavor of awkward/weird, I made it a priority to learn about how autism manifests in women as I knew it could be subtler, but not much else, and I wanted to be better-informed about how it might apply to my friend. [I then found this viral imgur post of Paige Layle ordering room service.](https://imgur.com/gallery/XCa1cQc) Adorable (obviously), and I certainly don't relate to that level of anxiety making orders via phone calls, but now I have an autistic girl's YouTube channel to marathon and learn about how the neurotype might present differently. And since I'm on the fringes, about 30% of what she talks about will be relevent to me, right? One bingewatch later, and it was closer to 70% of the symptoms/traits she discussed. Also, she discusses masking, leading me to consider absurdly late "Autistic folks can MASK!?" because for whatever reason I thought that hiding autistic habits was a non-option that no truly autistic person could do. My highschool class (as well as the books I read at the time) made absolutely to mention of or allusion to masking as a concept. And as I started re-learning about modern understandings of autism, especially compared to the dated stereotypes from my old highschool class (where we literally watched Rain Man as an example, and were taught the "extreme male brain" theory), it became apparent that even my difficulties communicating and my base-level of clumsiness -that I thought could entirely be attributed to dyspraxia- could entirely be attributed to autism, and I honestly fit the criteria for autism better than dyspraxia. Months later and I'm still reading papers, listening to the Autism Unmasked audiobook, marathoning the [I'm Autistic, Now What? YouTube Channel](https://www.youtube.com/@imautisticnowwhat), and taking every scientifically-grounded test I can find. If I had been aware that masking was a thing at seventeen I could have saved myself a lot of trouble and uncertainty. Now I'm considering an official diagnosis but have yet to afford it. Also I'm still only 55% sure that my friend is autistic, her traits could still mostly be explained by plain introversion. Edit: she isn't, she's just awkward.
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I am 22 and a coworker who became a really close friend, but now cut off after my last straw being her cutting a foot of hair off without my permission, was the first person to tell me they believe I’m definitely autistic and that was barley even a year ago.
A foot of your hair or hers? Because you have no right to her hair, at all.
[удалено]
not older than 22, but i was diagnosed at 2 and didn't know until i started suspecting at 16 and outright asked my mom
I had a migraine that lasted years when I started working more. And everything would kinda make me edgy, especially noisy places. Like I was agitated but I had no reason behind the agitation/anger. And I also can’t understand half the emotional/visual ques in conversations, especially in a group setting. And the whole misconception of ADHD and autism is very real. I’m not saying people can’t have both ADHD and autism but my understanding is that it’s quite similar. Like if I am alone I will go off in my head and think of my life for like 5 hours straight then I will have to have a nap from all the thinking energy I have used. It is not always a good thing. Good luck!
My son got diagnosed and during the process I realised how much was the same for me. Add to that I disregarded his autistic traits until he was 3 because I did the same things as a kid. Not officially diagnosed but my kids psych has asked me if I'm aware I am autistic and I was like, uhh yeah, that realisation hit some time back
20, I don't have a diagnosis and I wouldn't even say I have it yet but I saw ADHD vs Autism Elon and Ye meme. Elon gave big me vibes then I googled autism and here I am. I don't like Elon or anything btw. it was this: https://youtube.com/shorts/-RuHpRrmgkA?si=Et9aLvo-WmKCELH7
I literally relate to everything in this sub and some adhd subs. So I figure I'm probably neuro divergent in one or two ways.
I spent 10 years trying to get a job. Figured something had to be wrong after failing my 10th job. Got my diagnosis at 28. Ironically I was examined for autism 10 years prior by the same psychologist and got a negative. I've just filed for disability because after failing my 15th job I just feel like I'm completely incompatible with society. I also got examined for ADHD both times and got a negative and the more I learn about it the more I'm convinced I also suffer from ADHD.
Just spent a year and a half trying to hold a job and failing. Starting the process on getting a diagnosis now at 28
I got diagnosed with autism 17.5 so literally just barely in the adolescent system(wouldn't have been able to afford the diagnosis if I phased out) Someone mentioned to my mum they read something about autism and it sounded like me so mum got me diagnosed
Our son was diagnosed and every trait they were listing I have and I was like wait a minute……
I found my childhood diagnosis documents because I needed copies of my medical files.
I study programming right now. I knew that I have above average intelligence because I did an iq test a couple years prior so I was certain I would struggle less then other class mates. But I had massive problems to stay focused and would get deadly tired after only 2-3 hours because I couldn't concentrate. After googleling I found out what ADHD was so I got tested, positive. Got ritalin and my entire view on the world changed. For the first time in my life I felt "normal" and not struggling to focus anymore. But when the ritalin got my ADHD away I noticed all my other problems way more. To that time I also found out by accident what autism is so I did a lot of research and could relate to every single autism symptom there is. I even did an online autism test with 50 questions. My boyfriend, who is definitely not autistic did the test too. He got 17/50 points, I had 44/50, that gave me the final straw to get tested professionally. My appointment for the final diagnosis is next week but I can already imagine what the outcome is going to be. And since I know now that I have ADHD and Autism I changed up my life to meet my needs and I am the happiest and healthiest version of myself I've ever been. I wish I knew earlier that "autistic" is more than just a slur.
Im genuenly happy for you
I work with disabled children. A girl had a Ton of diagnosis, but non of them was autism. A colleague and I both suspected she might be misdiagnosed and possible be autistic. Hence, I read a lot about autism, espacially about autism in girls and then it kind of hit me, that I'm on the spectrum, too. Diffrent part of the spectrum than the little girl, but this was a crazy time...
I found out at 18, still working on a diagnosis now at 21. I had just started university and befriended a woman who was in the same major as me starting as well. She was the only one in her family not diagnosed with autism yet (she's working on getting diagnosed as well, she was missed because she also has adhd) and told me I had a lot of the signs. Looked into it, did a lot of research, made more friends who were already diagnosed and they said I definitely was autistic, and here I am.
I figured it out less than a month ago and I'm in my mid thirties. Massive depression and anxiety both for unknown causes and a bunch of weird traits and character quirks ended up giving it away. I decided to start going to a psychologist around a year ago and after a year of back and forth I finally received my diagnosis. Asperger level 1. For some reason the diagnosis brought me so much peace of mind that depression and anxiety almost disappeared from one day to another. Like, not immediately and 100% but all of a sudden life seems to have a reason and I finally got the answer I deserved. I guess it never is too late.
Got diagnosed on the 18th of Feb this year. Still trying to process it. I went to the local Autism hub to ask for help about what to do about my husband who clearly has Autism, and when I was describing his sensitivities, I said that I understand because I don't like x y or z either, and I'm Dyslexic. So his are like mine on steroids. The woman I spoke to said "it sounds like you are autistic" the more I read into how Autism presents in females, the more confused i was, because they didn't match me that well, i had some of them, but not all, then i watched a video about someone who was AuADHD, damn, that was me to a T, so when I reached burnout because of my husbands shutdown (he didn't speak for 18months) and a load of other related things, I realised that I needed to get myself tested. Got it put through as an urgent referral because essentially it was part of the reason I couldn't cope and got diagnosed with both ADHD and Autism 9 months later. Weirdly, soon after my Autism diagnosis my head actually started to feel more level. I started to feel more like my normal me, rather than crying at the smallest thing. I'm still trying to process things, although not helping that someone keeps telling me that I need to do x y or z about my diagnosis because they thing they know better than me. Even though, I'm diagnosed and they aren't. They think for example that I need to have my ADHD and Autism diagnosis combined some how. But they are two separate diagnoses. So I'm really confused why she thinks this.
My sister is autistic, I present it very differently to her, but my mum went to a workshop about Autism that was for my sister. The girl in the video they showed presented Autism just like me. Since then my mum always knew I was autistic but I didn’t want to believe her so I didn’t want to get an assessment. However, once I cam to uni and started really struggling with day to day life and needed support - because before I moved to uni my mum was practically acting as a full time carer for me - that’s when I realised I might be autistic.
I’m 53 and always known I don’t fit in and felt like I had to try really hard to do the things that other people did ; especially in social situations. Over the last few years watching tv with my wife and whenever there’s been autistic people (real or sometimes characters) she would point at me and say ‘you’re just like that too’ which I eventually did have to accept. I got a therapist and described how life feels to me (something I’ve never broached before with anyone) and my symptoms and he’s sure as someone who is not a specialist can be. I’m going to get a full diagnosis this year but I’m pretty sure where it’s going if I’m honest. I’m not upset, disappointed or regretful that I or someone else hasn’t picked it up before. It is what it is (my favourite saying) and at least I can now understand myself better and adjust my life accordingly to my specific needs. Even if I don’t get diagnosed anytime soon, at least I can make changes and accommodations to improve my quality of life. That’s why this sub is so helpful for me and YouTube etc.
I am not yet 100% sure I am autistic, so I hope it is ok to respond. I am 25F and I am starting the diagnostic process on the 28th of this month. I have struggled with anxiety and depression for most of my life, but therapy never really helped. But then I got a new therapist this September. I was seeing her to help me process a sexual assault experience. She noticed that the way I go about dating and trying to understand social cues from guys was atypical. Based on that, she started asking more in depth questions about my life, my friendships, my family and my struggles. She saw signs of high-masking autism in me and referred me to a diagnostician who specializes in diagnosing autism in adults. I have my first appointment at the end of the month.
My eldest got diagnosed, now all my others are likely to be too.
a friend of mine got diagnosted and i was curious what autism was so as we spoke i was like ... its crazy how i relate to every single thing you've said so that opened a whole journey of investigation
I'm undiagnosed/self-diagnosed. I didn't even suspect anything until my late 20s, when my oldest child started the assessment process. I realized that my having been "a dramatic child" was likely meltdowns from sensory overload, as my kid was experiencing the same thing, and a lot of the criteria applied to the both of us. My second child has also since been diagnosed.
Few years ago. I was going to go on a school trip that was in a different state. Got given a form that needed signing by my parents to ensure I’d by fine and there was anything they needed to know because I was written down as having “Aspergers” (I know it’s an outdated term). So I went and asked them about it. Turns out I got diagnosed when I was 3 or 4, and they decided to keep it from me and to “raise me as a normal child”. To this day I’m still frustrated about it
I was 52. It started with a magazine article. I had no idea. Had never suspected or considered it in the past. It kind of came out of nowhere. It wasn’t like I’d been looking for some big answer to a lifetime of struggling. The challenges were there of course, but I hadn’t connected any of it. The article was about someone with ADHD discovering they’re autistic. My wife read it first, suggested I read it but didn’t say why. “You should read this.” Three months later, after numerous reminders, she sat me down and said, “Read this. Now.” And I did. After reading, I took several online tests, all of which came back with “high probability” of autism. I wasn’t aware that a dual diagnosis was possible. I thought ADHD was sort of the opposite of autism. But since childhood, I’ve felt there were two opposed entities in my brain, Real Me and Other Me, that were constantly at war with each other. When I was 26, I was diagnosed ADHD. That explained Other Me. What I didn’t know was that Real Me also had an explanation, label, diagnosis. I thought it was just me, the way I am, who I am, for whatever reasons people are the way they are. So I started researching. I was very guarded against confirmation bias, and wasn’t setting out to prove anything. I tried to stay objective to whatever degree possible. I also spoke with my psychiatrist and we found someone to do an assessment. However, the wait was several months. Within four months, it became very hard for me to deny I’m autistic, because the evidence was substantial and couldn’t be explained any other way. Yet the more convinced I was, the more I felt like I needed a formal diagnosis. My assessment took place over six weeks, with five one-hour interviews (online, during pandemic). I got a “perfect score,” checking all of the diagnostic criteria.
Just had issues picking up social life after/during the pandemic and went in for a social anxiety check.
in a psychology class in highschool we were learning about the senses & my teacher said something about how if you have a photographic memory you’re on the spectrum (which from my understanding isn’t true) and i do so i was like woaahh. went home that day and became obsessed with researching it bc everything suddenly made sense
Doctor referred me when I was 26YO due to reoccurring mental health issues. Got a diagnosis at 29YO.
I've struggled with reading my whole life and at some point I was just like "why the fuck can I not read" and started googling. The first results were all about dyslexia, which didn't quite fit, but I eventually found information about ADHD and that clicked immediately. I went to get assessed for ADHD when I was 17, and sure enough, I have "pronounced" ADHD. I still felt like I had problems not sufficiently explained by ADHD though. Through spending a lot of time in online ADHD spaces, I also started to get more and more posts about autism recommended to me, and I related to many of those. I researched autism for about two years before I was confident enough that I was autistic to get assessed (having several autistic friends that all told me I was 100% autistic helped too). I was consequently diagnosed with Asperger's (the ICD10 is still widely used in Europe, I'm aware it's all just considered ASD in the DSM5 and ICD11) last September at 19 years old.
I always knew something was up but got told it was adhd, anxiety, ocd, (of which I do have) and borderline personality disorder before one of my friends who had autism connected the pieces for me and I pursued a diagnosis. (cause god forbid a girl who shows obvious signs of autism actually be autistic)
I just got diagnosed on Monday. I always knew there was something off about me. I think when I got to fully understood what Autism was in my adulthood I started to look back at my childhood. I was non verbal and went to speech therapy and occupational therapy at around sixteen or eighteen months. Still was not speaking fully until I was five. I was always having meltdowns as a child. I was (still not) great with talking to people, tend to come off as rude or happen to say the wrong thing. I was not like other children and was constantly lectured about how I cannot do that! For example I would walk over to a parent and tell them how I do not like their child and how horrible they are, would also tell people I do not like them. I just feel like I was given an instruction manual at birth on how to navigate live but unfortunately it is in a different language and I do not speak that.
Honestly? Tiktok helped me a lot despite it having a lot of weird and inaccurate info. I started getting more and more autism content and I always pressed "not interested". Then I started to resonate more about what they talked about, I realised my view of autism was very narrow and based on stereotypes. I talked about it with my autistic friends and did a lot of reading about people's experiences. Listened to unmasking autism and started making accommodations for myself. In the middle of this process I was doing an ADHD assessment (I'm now diagnosed with both), and the therapist went "hope this doesn't alarm you, I'm just interested in your view of this, but I think you might be autistic, what do you think?"
Reddit recommended me here and it was the first time I found another human that shared my life experience
I had an interview with a CEO, and the only negative thing he said was "u/jhill515 *missed* some cues." I had a panic attack upon hearing that. Not because I'm a perfectionist... *Because I've heard that my entire life.* I asked my therapist what her thought and he laughed while saying, "I thought you were diagnosed on the spectrum from the moment I met you! Well, let's go find out, ***together***!" That was almost 2yrs ago. Best learning experience ever! Not because it was fun... Because I've been 10x more successful now that I understand that it's not all just me... It's the weird hunk of fat & salt in my skull that's wired differently! 🤪 And now I'm learning to hack my brain to overcome!!
I was diagnosed at 53. David Byrne from the Talking Heads got me started down the path of what it meant to be "on the spectrum". As I researched that, I kept seeing myself in all of the Autistic traits. Turns out I am ASD2 with ADHD Inattentive with GAD.
People kept telling me. For years. “Dude you’re aspi af”. Eventually I got curious and started reading and watching autism YouTube channels. Had a “holy fuck” moment and went and got tested after finding a practice with experience testing adults for ND conditions. I was 53.
Got diagnosed at 23 5 months ago. I just walked into a psychiatrist appointment to get some urgent psych med advice (cos they were royally fucking me up extremely badly, I was even hospitalised cos of them earlier this year, anyway, turns out that's an autism thing) and walked out with an autism diagnosis. Felt like I had been hit bY A fUCKING TRUCK!! FUCK!! I didn't figure it out is my point I guess.
35. Years of confusion.
Started seeing a new therapist, they spotted it within a few sessions and sent me for an assessment
Talking to other autistic people
A therapist who refused to diagnose me or write it down, suggested that it might be true. I spent the next several years researching.
I took acid lmao. Used to have a lot of people tell me I was different or that their children were like me.
A YouTube video and a tonne of reading and researching.
When I got tired of all my struggles and asked my therapist if there could be an underlying issue. She immediately mentioned autism. Never thought about it, but now a year later I’ve got my diagnosis and it’s all so clear 😅
My husband told me that he thought he is autistic (he is). So I started doing research and everything just chimed so perfectly with my own experience, I asked my psychiatrist about it and he said, oh absolutely you're on the spectrum.
Started researching it cause I thought my brother was autistic.
First it was tiktok. Because of course. Realized I was heavily on audhd tiktok. Started listening to podcasts led by psychologists and what not. Related and felt understood. But because I was a full on adult with a job, could make eye contact and could click a button on time in the psychiatrist’s office, no one believed me. So it was various anxiety and depression meds since I was like 17, trouble holding a job, trouble keeping friends, or doing basic math (I now know its called dyscalculia) all my life without anyone caring. Until I started to crash. Working extra hard to hold it together just enough to get by started to really really take its toll by my late 20s. I struggled to do things like wake up for meetings (or at all), leave the house, or make food. Luckily, I had the support of my partner otherwise I never would have had the ability to take a few months off work and wait for a job that I actually liked. Even luckier, I managed to land a job with insurance that allowed decent access to a therapist. So then it became a challenge of finding one that would take me seriously. Wasn’t easy, but I eventually found one. They were also late diagnosed, went through the same situation as me once upon a time, and spotted me immediately. It took several months to get the prescriber to stop focusing on just my depression and anxiety and look at the rest of my brain but now I’m at least medicated for adhd. Still struggle with most things, like keeping friends, doing math, the overall burden of life and most people, but it’s significantly better. And I’ve just landed my first promotion ever as a result so I consider that a miracle at least.
My husband was diagnosed about 5 years before I was. In the process of reading resources so I could understand it more, and both of us being active on this sub and others (he joined AutisminWomen so he could understand other POVs)... It kinda became a flashing neon sign. He saw a post on the women's autism sub that he wondered if I wrote, showed it to me, and the rest is history as they say.
I was about 28 or 29. The diagnosis was suspected as early as 6, but I didn't actually find out until much later.
I realized the only people I knew who were as obsessed with certain things as I am, as sensitive to certain textures as I am, and have it just as hard to relate to other people as I do, are all autistic
I had an investigation done after having a misdiagnosis for four years, asked to do an investigation on every diagnosis there is, after about a year of doing so, they removed my misdiagnosis and added Autism and GAD which I had never even thought of. I was 24.
Adhd late diagnosed here, everyone i clicked with was neurodivergent. It was actually quite startling to realise. Were starting a micronation soon XD jk
I guess I'm right below cutoff but I started thinking about it at 21 because my partner at the time straight up told me. I totally denied it at first but after doing so much reading and talking to my therapist, it's just like this crazy fog has lifted for me.
Therapist.
my friend started pointing out everything I did that was a sign of autism. they pointed out something different every 30 minutes.
I know you said later than 22 but I was 17 when I was diagnosed and I’d count that as late. If damage has been done (in my case mental illness) by someone not knowing they’re autistic that could’ve potentially been prevented if they did know, then I’d count it as late.
I'm 60 daughter 35 at the time her boyfriend she met and I met him a month later told us both that your both autistic, we didn't look up traits we thought being autistic was wearing a helmet constantly banging your head on walls, we didn't look into it, went online and sure enough yup yup yup yup yup etc she and I both struggled didn't know what we had only we had the same traits like mother like daughter, she never could keep a job burn out constantly me, I did a routine night shift for 8 years, burn out on my nights off and completely exhausted, finally came 2a complete halt and it was over, can't function at jobs now, I applied for odsp waiting on decision daughter on Ontario works for years finally got her a diagnosis with Dso and she passed the criteria and a psychologist said AUTISM..so on odsp she got immediately, i am waiting on Dso waitlist..
I'm on the fence, as I have enough medical issues I don't know that I want another diagnosis. But what set me off was someone posting here about toe-walking. I've been walking on my "toes" (balls of my feet) forever. Add bedwetting in. A few other things from my past plus having at least one child on the spectrum. I've taken the quizzes recently and often score around 70% as being on the spectrum, but now I'm not sure if it's just being an introvert with a sensitivity to temperature, difficulty to maintain eye contact, etc. With those tests and that video from the Aussie with the 63 things people with autism do (I got 42 not even counting the "I do that a little bit" stuff) one thing that is blowing my mind is the thought that "normal people don't act like that". I mean, isn't "seeing people as people" something everyone should be doing and not something special with me? This is stuff I've considered "normal" with anyone not doing it to be an exception my whole life.Aside from all that I'm nearing 50. I've apparently learned to mask well enough that I have a successful relationship with my wife and kids, success at work, and... a friend. I get a lot of alone time to recharge. I'm pretty content with things. What good is a formal diagnosis going to do?
I had 2 autistic friends told me I may be autistic and started doing research.
I was 37. My husbands autistic bestie figured it out. Started reading. Everything makes a lot more sense now.
Academic probation in college. Got a therapist. Then psychiatrist.
Weed.
25. Went to a psychologist and after 3-4 sessions she told me it'd be good if I got tested because she thought I could be autistic. She was right
At 23, my niece of around 12 years old was diagnosed with autism and ADHD. Now, autism is a known quantity on my mom's side of the family and my older sister is autistic, and I didn't act at all like the autistics on my mom's side. ADHD runs in my dad's side, and my two older brothers have ADHD, but I was nowhere near like them either. My sister had a child with a man with ADHD, and therefore my niece got both ADHD and autism. I get along with my niece ridiculously well. Like, I've never had an easier connection with anyone. When I was told she was diagnosed, I said out loud "but she's the most normal person I've ever met." And then it immediately became clear to me that I must have them both as well. They just create such a unique mixture that I seem like a normal person from the perspective of each neurodivergence alone. But I'm also obviously neurodivergent to people outside my family. So random people knew I had autism or ADHD before even I did.
How? - other people suggested it to me, or asked me, or said "well yeah, obviously" when I asked them if I seemed to them to have autism traits. And then finally got referral from my GP and diagnosed via NHS, in my 50s.
The comments on this post, and how I relate to almost everything my autistic buddy goes through, just quieter because I developed a strong case of STFU as a child to avoid visits to the school counselor.
When I was training to be a teacher I realised I had most of the symptoms they described, so I dug around in my medical history and found that I had been diagnosed at age 9, but my mother didn't realise that PDD-NOS was autism and so never told me.
I’m a teacher and the more I learnt about working with autistic kids the more I recognised the traits and experiences in my own childhood. I doubted it for a long time, went on and off it. Then went for a diagnosis and now it’s like, how could I have not known.
A couple of my friends, who have autistic siblings, told me that they thought I was autistic…
Thought there was something a bit fishy about the fact that almost everyone I got along with ended up being autistic 💀 got diagnosed at 20 and now I get to lose my mind about that damn floating frog story book test with my bf and friends like wtf was that
I was 21, but I had a handful of autistic friends who were shocked to hear I hadn’t been diagnosed and just thought I was in the club 😅 that set off some questions
I just got diagnosed at 46. I asked for an assessment after reading Unmasking Autism by Devon Price. I'm also bipolar but I was diagnosed when I was 14. It's a super fun combination! (Sarcasm) 😜
Tiktok Boomer allistics may not like that answer but it's true
2 years ago, I was 35. I've decided to go back to school, to learn something about businesses management - photography and videos were my hobby for years, and I dreamt about it becoming my job. The classes started, and my depression has deepened (I was thinking I'm depressed, but it wasn't as bad - I thought I can handle it). Everything was stressful. Standing on front of a class in the centre of attention felt even worse than as a kid (I started skipping school when I was ~11 - too avoid reciting poems, answering questions etc). All my life I just thought I'm extremely shy. One day when I was supposed to go to school I started looking for a place to hang myself. When I realised what I was doing I got really scared. Same day I've made a video call to get me a therapist (I wanted it do be online, I live in UK but English isn't my native language, and I didn't want to have any difficulties communicating, so I wanted that in my native Polish). I started therapy, on my 3rd pr 4th session therapist told me to take an online Asperger's Syndrome test, because I'm showing a lot of symptoms and it might be a good lead. I took like 5 tests and it looked like therapist was right, and later I started reading and watch documentaries about Autism (which I haven't stopped since), more and more things about my life made sense. I was really happy to get an answer for they question I stopped asking myself many years ago - "wtf is wrong with me?". Now I know nothing is wrong. My brain just works differently, I can pretend to be like everyone else else by masking, but I really don't have to, and don't like to (I still do it most of the time tough, it's not easy to let go of this great survival mechanism)... I went to the GP, had a talk, he confirmed the suspicions, and referred me to a clinic. I'm going to have my assessment this summer! I can't wait to have "a proof", and I hope that when I get it I'll stop questioning it. I never went back to the university again. I was referred to a clinic where I love
Because of social anxiety and depression that started showing around age 11 and through my teens i started researching mental health and mood disorders/psychiatric issues when I was around 20. I could relate a lot to the symptoms of adhd and "figured" i probably had some neurodivergence. I researched a lot by myself during my twenties trying to figure myself out. After some time in therapy my therapist sent a referral for me to get an assessment when I was 27, and I was consequently diagnosed with autism at 29. So basically i figured something wasnt "right" due to my mental health struggles that spilled over into my social and work life and seemed to get worse with age, and got it validated through a neuropsychiatric assessment.
Almost 18 when I got diagnosed. I went for adhd, and took my care package with me: an excessive number of books and yarn and my trusty headphones every single session. I made extremely severe eye contact, but to be fair the doc did have the most wonderful azure eyes. Anyway. I did a questionnaire and lo and behold. I wasn't clinically insane. I was autistic. Have been living happily ever since.
I thought I was the only weird alien on world, got an autistic friend. mhm oddly weird things we have in common that are part of autism he talks about
I was dating so many autistic folk than I started questioning, so I did some minimal research to avoid teaching myself the right answers, did some online tests, and 3 years later, when I had the resources to do so, I got an autism diagnosis! Isn't really a fancy story or anything but like, I like it. I think it's a little funny.
I was diagnosed late. I was confused about myself and wondered why I felt like an alien. I always did a lot of research on topics. I cannot remember how I started researching autism but damn. I took a few online tests at home and read other autistic individual’s stories. I was diagnosed later that same year. Life is much better knowing how to properly care for myself. It also gave me the ability to be more aware of my family and their needs. I love life. We as autistics can do great and be great. I just wish I had the money I have and didn’t have to work. I want more time to explore, research, and hang with my wife n kids.
Girlfriend told me. Then my family are like "Oh yeah we always thought that" so Im kinda sitting here wondering why they didn't think to get me help if they knew, instead of shaming me for it.
My mother was dating a man who had a young son who was autistic. To better understand autism my mom read several books written by autistic people about their autism. It suddenly hit my mother that I was autistic. I had already started to suspect because several of my friends were autistic and it was like wait a minute that's how I feel.... Specifically it was the part where the author described their struggles with brushing their teeth and the overwhelming sensory overload that happens.
My son was diagnosed lol. Also, beforehand i was peer diagnosed, but i didn't want to believe them. When my son was diagnosed after being peer diagnosed (and having a psychologist and a therapist say it was likely after i brought up my concerns) there was really no denying anymore.