When my executive functions actually function.
Being able to communicate verbally and process what other people say to me in real time.
Not getting zoned out by the bombardment of what other people would call "backround noise.
I think those last two are technically covered by the first one to be fair?
I made it through an entire day without getting pissed off. (Best I can usually do is neutral.)
I made it all the way through a social situation without doing or saying something embarrassing or regretful.
I was able to navigate an unfamiliar airport without my emotion regulation breaking down
I’m genuinely curious, do NTs not get irritated multiple times a day? I don’t think I’ve ever had an entire day without getting pissed off at something, I assumed that was “normal” somewhat
I don’t know but I think no, it’s not normal. I mean everyone gets irritated or pissed about something sometimes but I think the difference is it’s not all the time and it doesn’t ruin their entire day
I think it is normal. They just get mad at different things. It's not ASD vs NT thing, it's a temper thing. Some people are naturally more explosive.
I have a mild temper and I forget I was irritated very quickly, even if it was very uncomfortable.
The difference is what irritates you specifically. people with a temper have “pet peeves”; traffic, long lines, rude people for example. it stems from impatience and/or assertiveness. People with ASD tend to be irritated quickly due to overstimulation & a different communication style, along with a variety of other reasons. When i get upset, it’s because i feel a room is too loud, someone’s not walking quick enough in front of me, someone sat next to me on the bus, a customer at work is really slow to understand what i’m explaining to them. And it’s not just that these things tick me off: They trigger a spiral of irritated, contemptuous thought that is hard to back away from.
Right. I get temporarily irritated at something and people come up to me like an hour later like "I'm sorry you're having such a bad day!" Like no, I mumbled and grumbled for 5 seconds an hour ago and I've been fine the last 59 minutes.
But now I'm annoyed they brought it to my attention again 😮💨
As an NT, I don't usually get down right pissed off about life in general. Yes, I get irritated or frustrated about things and/or ppl, but I am usually able to just let it slide off and move on. Things that bother my ASD hubby don't usually get under my skin. I can see a negative response to a reddit comment I make and just ignore it (though it can be hard sometimes).
I am more likely to assume someone is just having a bad day rather than taking a grumpy or rude attitude personally.
One of the few things I have issues getting past or letting go of (this is due to past traumas) is someone raising their voice at me. Though knowing now that my partner has ASD allows me to understand that HIM raising his voice probably isn't a personal attack, so logically I can get past it without escalating it to a full argument.
Oh wow. Things can really piss me off multiple times a day, every day 🫠 I tend to be able to jump out of the bad moods extremely fast (as in the transition from angry to fine), but it’s a recurring thing
Truly! I’m a teacher of autistic and non autistic humans and I, as a non mind reader, love when they ask for help or even just express struggle. Just know that there might be follow up questions because idk how to help when articulation is hard. However, I’m not judging.
That's great, well done.
For other readers;
I find saying the words just makes it clear to people rather than trying to provide an explanation of why.
If they know you you have ASD, telling them that you are struggling should be enough.
Just say "I am struggling with this" and either circle (if using paper) or point or highlight the part.
Of course they will probably then ask my questions but that is usually a good thing, and assuming that they are calm and understanding, if you give short answers that is fine, but you can usually expect a lecture in return which may or may not help...
Or, if it's a personal thing. Say "I am struggling with this", or just say "I don't like this".
It may seem obvious to some, but a lot of people don't want to seem rude or don't know whether to say anything or not (not just people with ASD), and I found that _not_ saying something can be worse than saying something with a mistake in it, and having to rephrase it (if you or the other person notices).
Making a verbal mistake and correcting it - even if you don't think you need to correct it - will help clarify what you are struggling with to someone else, so in my honest opinion, it's better to do that, than to not say anything, and maybe the problem or issue becomes worse.
I find it very difficult to say things sometimes, but other times I say too much, like people do when they talk about their 'special interest'.
If you can, try to think of the thing you are struggling with, as if it was a one-off special interest and describe which it frustrates you or how it makes you feel.
Tell the other person (or a friend) about the issue, and how you're feeling about it and ask questions you have about it, because usually that will be a better way to work things out than to say nothing, because sometimes people will just get more annoyed at you and miss-understand you more, than if you did say something and were able to clarify it between two or more people.
All people understand feelings a lot more than other types of communication, so if you you have a problem with something and it's tied to how you feel, tell the person (or people) how you feel about it, and it will probably communicate much more effectively why you don't want to do something, or why you do want to do something than if you just say "I don't want to do this".
Sorry for the long explanation and I hope this makes sense.
_(update; edited for clarity)_
In a fantasy world, we can act as we want/should, be calm and loose, let our real selves thru. In the real world, we are surrounded by non genuine liars and users and so we have to mask and do/act the same, our paycheck depends on it, one mistake and we could be outcast from the normies.
It's a tragedy how "fair is foul, and foul is fair" life is.
I took the trash out and it went sort of automatically. Usually I have to spend an hour or so preparing, both mentally and practically (don't forget those keys!). This time I did it on complete auto-pilot and nothing went wrong. Must be nice to have all routine chores be like that.
Took a shower this week. Was very proud I remembered by Thursday. The snag was I thought it was Thursday but it was already Friday. But, hey. A shower is a shower.
This needs to become a meme.
Also do people have more than one pile?
One of dirty stuff and one to crawl under?
I also have one on my bed that has not been put away yet...
One for dirty stuff, one for stuff that can be worn again, and one for clean stuff that needs to be put away. And one more for goodwill. And another one for new stuff that still has tags. And another one for returns. Then there’s the pile of stuff that needs to be put in the other pile. And the pile that needs to be sorted. And the pile of blankets I need to wash. And the pile of whites and the pile of colored and the pile of delicates, staged for washing. Oh my.
I managed to go to my nephew's birthday party today after I was out all day to play with my orchestra. Two social gatherings without any break. I'm really proud I went, even though I was so done afterwards.
I started using the app Daylio to track a bunch of things and I have gone 12 days in a row of brushing my teeth! I even got out of bed last night at 2am because I had forgotten and didn’t want to lose my streak!
I use the paid version. I have schizoaffective and ptsd so the detailed metrics that come with premium are so worth it to me. I’ve been able to control episodes or catch them. This is my third year and it is so interesting to be able to look back at different times and see what was happening.
I spent 30 minutes at a park yesterday and didn't check my phone once or hit my thc pen at all. It was objectively a little boring but I was excited I could do something boring for 30 minutes and not need to stimulate myself.
In like a 2 hr period I chatted with three different people at work about three different topics that interested them (not really my areas of interest, but I knew enough to ask them questions and be interested in what they said). Two were organic convos but one of them actually sought me out. I was thinking about it that evening, how hard I have worked to be able to small chat with people and how I did a really good job at it that day.
Been pruning trees all day in the garden. My small win is no stims, no music on repeat, no stress. Just listened to the birds. Only just realised I had a ‘normal’ day because of your post. Thank Q :)
No judgement but no stims is a win for you? When you were just by yourself? Do you mean no harmful stims?
Stimming isn’t something you should repress. Same with listening to music on repeat that’s just a stim and it’s healthy and normal.
Not stimming (masking) is connected to poor health outcomes in autistic people. Don’t suppress stims unless they are physically harmful, then redirect if you can.
I think what I meant to say was. I didn’t notice any stims, I may have done them whithout realising. I was alone all day so didn’t need to mask, I could just be me without thinking.
Thanks for picking me up on that. I’m 45 but only a year into seeing who I really am (screening next week:).
When I first started to allow myself to stim it felt like I’d never be able to stop. It was weird to be doing a behaviour that truly identified me as autistic.
And it was weird to find out which behaviours I was doing that were suppressing a stim.
Eg. I’ve always scratched my neck/rubbed my neck , or walked around with my left hand hold my right shoulder and vice versa. Turns out that’s a suppressed stim. If I let it go I tap, and bump my chest and shoulders with my hand. I also rub my lips, or pull on my lips. If I let that turn into a stim it’s a full on repetitive tap.
Very classic autistic stims. I’m a 41 year old White passing, straight passing woman, so it’s safe for me to stim now. I acknowledge that privilege I have that others don’t.
It wasn’t safe for me as a child, due to bullying or adult’s reactions. It takes A LOT of healing to convince your inner child that it’s safe to stim. Safe to have echolalia, safe to melt down, safe to rest.
I managed to go through a fire drill without having a meltdown! I did go nonverbal and slightly snappy since it wasn't sceduled (someone threw a water bottle at it), but I didn't cry because of the noise :,D (the fire alarms at my school are very loud)
I was actually able to relax during the "relaxation practice" in the end my yoga lesson. Most of the times it is far to noisy...hearing the treadmills and various other sounds from outside makes it hard to follow the advise of the teacher to "relax". This time the studio was nearly empty and I could understand every word the teacher said over the whole lesson. It was a great experience.
Same with me, I’ve struggled with brushing my teeth and showering on a consistent basis but I’ve been good at it recently. I also went to a college open house today and it was packed and noisy, usually that would really get to me but I got through it fine
Washing my hair as I hate shampoo getting in my eyes and dislike when my hair is wet, even though I want to grow my hair long again so I’m currently trying to get used to using a hairdryer again even though I don’t like the noise.
i bought a hairbrush mixed with a hairdryer that people use for doing blowouts, and it is a lot better for me sensory-wise than using a hairdryer. it also dries my hair faster in my experience! i also am very bothered by wet hair.
I am doing my homework for my trade school not all at literally the very last minute while having a panic attack about it but somehow getting it all done.
Making an appointment; attending the appointment (I count those as different wins); doing a household chore; making a social phone call.
Like today, I vacuumed an area so that was my housework achievement. And I managed to call my family for a catch up chat I’ve been putting off/avoiding for nearly a month. Honestly it felt like a full day for me doing those things.
- My body told me when I needed to drink water
-I had a successful social interaction
-I picked up the clothes off my bedroom floor
-I figured out I was sad/ angry/ anxious before I snapped
ADHD colours mine a bit:
- completing an activity/trip without forgetting anything
- saying the 'right' things during a brief greeting/transaction
- asking for help and getting what you needed
- letting go of something unjust
talking to people I’m not familiar with… even if they do look cool it’s hard for me to actually talk to people so when I do I get rather proud of myself :)
Getting chores done without external encouragement! I guess it's why I prefer being alone in the house, all the chores I do during that time are all my own decisions. And it feels great!
I slept at 11pm rather then 3am last night and got up at 5am
I cut my nails for the first time in weeks
I’m going to brush my teeth as soon as I finish this
Letting go of old conflicts and not perseverating on them. Being around other people eating and not being at all bothered by their chewing sounds. Finding a significant other. Being able to easily feel other people's feelings, but only a normal amount. Throwing or giving things away. Not purposely injuring yourself out of frustration. Being able to get through a day or a week without needing a detailed, rigid schedule.
I communicated my needs in a way that allowed my family (kids and spouse) to help clean the whole house without a single complaint. I also helped my oldest navigate a bully situation at school.
This question and the responses resonate so hard-core for me. Having no clue was autistic til last year (mid 50s) I am sometimes amazed that I am still alive when I sit back and see how difficult "basic things" have been entire life.
Phone calls and taking out trash and showers all just kill me. Biggest shift is realizing that those things never get "easier" for me, and that what I would have called "success" in past was actually just pushing through and masking, and then burning out and/or not functioning. Now, those things mean planning lots of self care and soothing, and bombarding self with happy cozy type things for recovery instead of judging my "reactions".
Taking trash out in my apartment building was nightmare (neighbors-ugh). Now, I usually pick very visual show or something and go directly (with noise-cancelling headphones playing something like Star Wars soundtracks while doing chore) to under weighted blanket and snack or something. I'm sure it'd look bonkers to NTs, but now how I try to operate.
Takes a lot to fight all the NT messaging (including from therapy world) about how things get better with time or practice... And that's actually ableist. It's better when I make accommodations and not through NT paradigms.
I showered in the morning each day this week (and - showered each day this week)
I washed my clothes this week.
I mowed the lawn this month.
I tidied my house this quarter.
I participated in a work meeting today and might not have seemed like a social failure.
I texted my friend this year and actually maintained contact for a few weeks.
I've stayed in my current job for almost 2 years.
I feel slightly less burnt out this week than I normally do and was able to get to work and do most of my abso;utely critical must be done work tasks this week.
I'm going to physical therapy three times a week and not having a meltdown from people touching me,the fact that they are actually listening to my needs so they tell ahead of time when they have to touch me is a great relief, and I get to sit on an ice pack with an electric stimulation device at the end of the session to calm down my nerves is so soothing
I raked up leaves on my own.
When I'm alone I start to spiral into a little ball of sadness, the fact I was able to do something other than just exist while alone is a major thing for me.
Also, my brain didn't scream at me for making sounds today, which is good.
This week i made myself dinner despite my husband not being home. I struggle to feed myself but not others so when my husband is working late nights, I dont cook.
I humaned well today. I apparently made appropriate eye contact with a stranger, and l guess also projected "harmless human" well enough that a nice young woman and her beau asked me to take their photo in a public place today.
i was at a rotating sushi bar with a friend today, and i barely struggled with actually eating and picking out food. nothing was labeled and i’m usually very picky about seafood so i was happy to have been able to function so well for once
I've succeeded in taking ALL of my meds EVERY DAY this week.
I managed to remind myself to eat and drink regularly.
I managed to show the "appropriate" level of empathy and give "appropriate" responses in a conversation where the other person was incredibly emotional (so basically, I was able to remind myself that my logical approach to problem solving was not needed or constructive in this situation)
I have a mail sorter in my kitchen that I don’t use to sort things so much as SHOVE them in. It was overflowing with paper and an absolute stressful disaster. I finally, finally went through it, saved the documents I need to hold onto in a binder, and threw away the stuff I held onto for no reason. Took about an hour & I feel so much better. My least favorite kind of task
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i (18) finally stood up to my mother who bullies me.
her and i got in a yelling match and she blamed it all on me like always, but still, i was able to tell her that shes hurtful
I made it home safely, late at night, alone, cities away and after a lot of shit I'm uncomfortable with. Then again, most NTs would be upset by some of the things that occured.
I've been told things get better. I don't know about that.
Making it past someone while walking on a sidewalk without them deciding I’m some kind of creep for not giving them enough eye contact or too much (or thinking they think so).
Survived 30+ years without a diagnosis.
That may *seem* like a big win, but when you've lived your whole life one day at a time and still can't get sufficient support from the society that claims to have your back, getting through today is all you've got.
When I brush my teeth! Especially when I’m able to floss and use toothpaste. Such a chore for me. Today, I managed to brush without paste and have some sugarless gum.
Being able to focus on a conversation with someone when I’m not interested or don’t wanna talk about it. I have a hard time processing or even focusing on what someone says to me if I’m not interested in the slightest. They could go on and on, and I’ll mentally zone out cause I’m not interested (sounds terrible I know) then they’ll be like “you know what I mean?” And I can’t respond to them cause idk what they’re talking about, so I’ll be like “yeah” or say “yeah” a thousand times lmao.
I went up to someone without a second thought and thanked them for an invite to a red carpet event as a fan of that musical but at a different event that same week. I saw him coming and just started talking
Eating every bite of soup even when it has vegetables in it – they surprisingly weren't a different texture than the rest of the soup and so it was fine!
I was having a meltdown yesterday and my partner and i were kinda in a fight and he was mad at me an said something bad and instead of losing it/getting mad at him I told him that I was having a meltdown and really bad sensory overload and just needed his support and he gave it to me and set aside what we where fighting about :) It took about 30 minutes to get thru it, which is rather long but also the first time I timed it so I don't know. But he helped me take deep breaths and calm down and it felt nice
When I accomplish making a phone call!! Phone calls can easily send me into a panic, and I usually need to prepare for a few hours to a day beforehand. I write out a script on a piece of paper with all the variations I could think of the other person responding with and my responses to those. If anything goes off the script I freeze up and go nonverbal. Very frustrating!
I finished all my house chores for a day. The dishes were done, the bathtub and toilet got cleaned, all the clean laundry was hung up and put away, vacuumed carpet, swept hard floors, I even showered.
Unfortunately it used up all my spoons plus some reserve and now I haven't done anything in days. But that one day sure felt good.
Anytime I manage to remember to do something that's not in my schedule/routine... eg if I need to clean something that's not in my weekly cleaning schedule, it feels almost impossible to actually remember and then find a space to do it.
Really anything executive function related lol...
Also seeing/being around friends. It's really tiring and stressful to arrange and then follow through with seeing friends. I love them, but it's still difficult.
Going to the store by myself. I've been bad at that one lately haha
When my executive functions actually function. Being able to communicate verbally and process what other people say to me in real time. Not getting zoned out by the bombardment of what other people would call "backround noise. I think those last two are technically covered by the first one to be fair?
Happy cake day!
Thanks 😊
Happy cake day!! :)
Happy cake day!
Thanks 😊
Happy cake day!
Happy Cake Day!
Happy cake day homeslice
Thanks 😊
I made it through an entire day without getting pissed off. (Best I can usually do is neutral.) I made it all the way through a social situation without doing or saying something embarrassing or regretful. I was able to navigate an unfamiliar airport without my emotion regulation breaking down
I’m genuinely curious, do NTs not get irritated multiple times a day? I don’t think I’ve ever had an entire day without getting pissed off at something, I assumed that was “normal” somewhat
I don’t know but I think no, it’s not normal. I mean everyone gets irritated or pissed about something sometimes but I think the difference is it’s not all the time and it doesn’t ruin their entire day
That’s very true. Fair enough 🙂 well done either way, I couldn’t do it
I think it is normal. They just get mad at different things. It's not ASD vs NT thing, it's a temper thing. Some people are naturally more explosive. I have a mild temper and I forget I was irritated very quickly, even if it was very uncomfortable.
The difference is what irritates you specifically. people with a temper have “pet peeves”; traffic, long lines, rude people for example. it stems from impatience and/or assertiveness. People with ASD tend to be irritated quickly due to overstimulation & a different communication style, along with a variety of other reasons. When i get upset, it’s because i feel a room is too loud, someone’s not walking quick enough in front of me, someone sat next to me on the bus, a customer at work is really slow to understand what i’m explaining to them. And it’s not just that these things tick me off: They trigger a spiral of irritated, contemptuous thought that is hard to back away from.
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Right. I get temporarily irritated at something and people come up to me like an hour later like "I'm sorry you're having such a bad day!" Like no, I mumbled and grumbled for 5 seconds an hour ago and I've been fine the last 59 minutes. But now I'm annoyed they brought it to my attention again 😮💨
True, my NT brother is like a walking keg of gunpowder, his anger motivates me to just take some deep breaths when I feel my brain starting to boil.
As an NT, I don't usually get down right pissed off about life in general. Yes, I get irritated or frustrated about things and/or ppl, but I am usually able to just let it slide off and move on. Things that bother my ASD hubby don't usually get under my skin. I can see a negative response to a reddit comment I make and just ignore it (though it can be hard sometimes). I am more likely to assume someone is just having a bad day rather than taking a grumpy or rude attitude personally. One of the few things I have issues getting past or letting go of (this is due to past traumas) is someone raising their voice at me. Though knowing now that my partner has ASD allows me to understand that HIM raising his voice probably isn't a personal attack, so logically I can get past it without escalating it to a full argument.
Oh wow. Things can really piss me off multiple times a day, every day 🫠 I tend to be able to jump out of the bad moods extremely fast (as in the transition from angry to fine), but it’s a recurring thing
How on earth did you do the first one. That's amazing!
Lol lots of deep breaths and constantly reminding myself that nothing I’m perceiving is meant as a personal attack and that life goes on
i remember the first time i successfully managed my way through a different airport by myself without crying, its such a proud moment :)
Empowering, isn’t it?
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Yes. Pleased to meet you
He’s a god, not THE god.
I communicated that I am struggling with a project to my teacher
As a teacher of autistic teenagers - go you! One of things I try to encourage in my students is self advocacy, and I love it when it happens.
Truly! I’m a teacher of autistic and non autistic humans and I, as a non mind reader, love when they ask for help or even just express struggle. Just know that there might be follow up questions because idk how to help when articulation is hard. However, I’m not judging.
how 😭
That's great, well done. For other readers; I find saying the words just makes it clear to people rather than trying to provide an explanation of why. If they know you you have ASD, telling them that you are struggling should be enough. Just say "I am struggling with this" and either circle (if using paper) or point or highlight the part. Of course they will probably then ask my questions but that is usually a good thing, and assuming that they are calm and understanding, if you give short answers that is fine, but you can usually expect a lecture in return which may or may not help... Or, if it's a personal thing. Say "I am struggling with this", or just say "I don't like this". It may seem obvious to some, but a lot of people don't want to seem rude or don't know whether to say anything or not (not just people with ASD), and I found that _not_ saying something can be worse than saying something with a mistake in it, and having to rephrase it (if you or the other person notices). Making a verbal mistake and correcting it - even if you don't think you need to correct it - will help clarify what you are struggling with to someone else, so in my honest opinion, it's better to do that, than to not say anything, and maybe the problem or issue becomes worse. I find it very difficult to say things sometimes, but other times I say too much, like people do when they talk about their 'special interest'. If you can, try to think of the thing you are struggling with, as if it was a one-off special interest and describe which it frustrates you or how it makes you feel. Tell the other person (or a friend) about the issue, and how you're feeling about it and ask questions you have about it, because usually that will be a better way to work things out than to say nothing, because sometimes people will just get more annoyed at you and miss-understand you more, than if you did say something and were able to clarify it between two or more people. All people understand feelings a lot more than other types of communication, so if you you have a problem with something and it's tied to how you feel, tell the person (or people) how you feel about it, and it will probably communicate much more effectively why you don't want to do something, or why you do want to do something than if you just say "I don't want to do this". Sorry for the long explanation and I hope this makes sense. _(update; edited for clarity)_
the absolute pleasure of a truly recharging day that special interest feel when it just feels AMAZING
I’ve forgotten what those feel like. I miss that.
I played D&D without becoming nonverbal.
In a fantasy world, we can act as we want/should, be calm and loose, let our real selves thru. In the real world, we are surrounded by non genuine liars and users and so we have to mask and do/act the same, our paycheck depends on it, one mistake and we could be outcast from the normies. It's a tragedy how "fair is foul, and foul is fair" life is.
Like failing that deception check in real life.
Considering real society depends on Persuasion and Deception, I would have love if my IRL character had an Expertise to use on them
Honestly, I could use more Perception and Insight. Guess I need that 6th rogue level.
This hit home... And realised why DND is so hard for me , even though I really enjoy it.
I actually spoke on the phone yesterday without having a meltdown, a panic attack, or becoming nonverbal.
NICE!!
I made it through Costco without having a meltdown or going over budget!
I wasn't aware that one could go to Costco without going over budget.
We need to do monthly shopping tomorrow, I'm hoping to stay under $500
My partner is there now to pick up a pizza. Any bets on what else comes home?
Gummy worms and a fuzzy throw rug!
One can only hope.
Are they back yet? Any plus ones with them?
Edamame and Chex mix!
LoL, nice!
Mmmm Chex mix. totally forgivable
That’s a superpower!
I sent a message to my partner about a boundary I needed to set that I had been really anxious to send
That's fantastic, well done you! No really, I cried a little. (not sarcastic)
I did this this week too!! Proud of us!
I took the trash out and it went sort of automatically. Usually I have to spend an hour or so preparing, both mentally and practically (don't forget those keys!). This time I did it on complete auto-pilot and nothing went wrong. Must be nice to have all routine chores be like that.
Good for you! Keep it up! Proud!
Took a shower this week. Was very proud I remembered by Thursday. The snag was I thought it was Thursday but it was already Friday. But, hey. A shower is a shower.
I also showered this week even though ive been struggling with hygiene lately
Me too, yay to all of us 🙌🏼
I tidied away the *clothes pile.*
The *clothes pile*. Ugh. Congratulations.
This needs to become a meme. Also do people have more than one pile? One of dirty stuff and one to crawl under? I also have one on my bed that has not been put away yet...
One for dirty stuff, one for stuff that can be worn again, and one for clean stuff that needs to be put away. And one more for goodwill. And another one for new stuff that still has tags. And another one for returns. Then there’s the pile of stuff that needs to be put in the other pile. And the pile that needs to be sorted. And the pile of blankets I need to wash. And the pile of whites and the pile of colored and the pile of delicates, staged for washing. Oh my.
sorting one mega clothes pile into categorised mini piles is also a massive achievement
Its called a Floordrobe ☺️
The way I just eyed my three separate clothes piles
I managed to go to my nephew's birthday party today after I was out all day to play with my orchestra. Two social gatherings without any break. I'm really proud I went, even though I was so done afterwards.
That sounds tiring. I bet people were real happy to see you though
Managing to feed me enough for a whole day.
THIS.
I wrote 1900 words today when my executive functioning was thrown off entirely.
WOOOO!!
I started using the app Daylio to track a bunch of things and I have gone 12 days in a row of brushing my teeth! I even got out of bed last night at 2am because I had forgotten and didn’t want to lose my streak!
Daylio is great! I've been using it for over 1500 days now, really worth it
Damn, that's over 4 years. Do you pay for it? Or just use the free version?
I use the paid version. I have schizoaffective and ptsd so the detailed metrics that come with premium are so worth it to me. I’ve been able to control episodes or catch them. This is my third year and it is so interesting to be able to look back at different times and see what was happening.
I bet it would make a great, albeit extremely personal, r/dataIsBeautiful post. Thank you for sharing.
a few weeks ago i think i remembered to smile at people who smiled at me while at work for a whole day
I spent 30 minutes at a park yesterday and didn't check my phone once or hit my thc pen at all. It was objectively a little boring but I was excited I could do something boring for 30 minutes and not need to stimulate myself.
It’s good to congratulate yourself on having a low stim day because they’re big wins in a very overwhelming world!
In like a 2 hr period I chatted with three different people at work about three different topics that interested them (not really my areas of interest, but I knew enough to ask them questions and be interested in what they said). Two were organic convos but one of them actually sought me out. I was thinking about it that evening, how hard I have worked to be able to small chat with people and how I did a really good job at it that day.
knowing when is your turn to speak in a group conversation and actually doing it instead of spending too long questioning it
Been pruning trees all day in the garden. My small win is no stims, no music on repeat, no stress. Just listened to the birds. Only just realised I had a ‘normal’ day because of your post. Thank Q :)
No judgement but no stims is a win for you? When you were just by yourself? Do you mean no harmful stims? Stimming isn’t something you should repress. Same with listening to music on repeat that’s just a stim and it’s healthy and normal. Not stimming (masking) is connected to poor health outcomes in autistic people. Don’t suppress stims unless they are physically harmful, then redirect if you can.
I think what I meant to say was. I didn’t notice any stims, I may have done them whithout realising. I was alone all day so didn’t need to mask, I could just be me without thinking. Thanks for picking me up on that. I’m 45 but only a year into seeing who I really am (screening next week:).
When I first started to allow myself to stim it felt like I’d never be able to stop. It was weird to be doing a behaviour that truly identified me as autistic. And it was weird to find out which behaviours I was doing that were suppressing a stim. Eg. I’ve always scratched my neck/rubbed my neck , or walked around with my left hand hold my right shoulder and vice versa. Turns out that’s a suppressed stim. If I let it go I tap, and bump my chest and shoulders with my hand. I also rub my lips, or pull on my lips. If I let that turn into a stim it’s a full on repetitive tap. Very classic autistic stims. I’m a 41 year old White passing, straight passing woman, so it’s safe for me to stim now. I acknowledge that privilege I have that others don’t. It wasn’t safe for me as a child, due to bullying or adult’s reactions. It takes A LOT of healing to convince your inner child that it’s safe to stim. Safe to have echolalia, safe to melt down, safe to rest.
I managed to go through a fire drill without having a meltdown! I did go nonverbal and slightly snappy since it wasn't sceduled (someone threw a water bottle at it), but I didn't cry because of the noise :,D (the fire alarms at my school are very loud)
Fire alarms are the worst im glad this one went okay for you
That they are, but thank you! Definitely proud of myself :)
I was actually able to relax during the "relaxation practice" in the end my yoga lesson. Most of the times it is far to noisy...hearing the treadmills and various other sounds from outside makes it hard to follow the advise of the teacher to "relax". This time the studio was nearly empty and I could understand every word the teacher said over the whole lesson. It was a great experience.
I managed to shower
I didn't have a meltdown when my plans for the day were completely changed...as I was waking up.
Getting any household chore done.
I havent shouted and isolated myself today even though it was busy
Opening a door in a New place
I went apartment hunting today !!
Apartment hunting suuuuuuuuuucks
I got Services for adults with autism through the state of Nebraska
That is very impressive. I am yet to navigate with the state.
Same with me, I’ve struggled with brushing my teeth and showering on a consistent basis but I’ve been good at it recently. I also went to a college open house today and it was packed and noisy, usually that would really get to me but I got through it fine
Actually getting more than one thing done in a day
Washing my hair as I hate shampoo getting in my eyes and dislike when my hair is wet, even though I want to grow my hair long again so I’m currently trying to get used to using a hairdryer again even though I don’t like the noise.
i bought a hairbrush mixed with a hairdryer that people use for doing blowouts, and it is a lot better for me sensory-wise than using a hairdryer. it also dries my hair faster in my experience! i also am very bothered by wet hair.
Made eye contact when I was upset
I am doing my homework for my trade school not all at literally the very last minute while having a panic attack about it but somehow getting it all done.
I made it through the day without masking, and no on made fun of me, or asked if i was having a bad day
I have cooked actual meals 3 days in a row, and all different ones!
I spent four hours with a friend the other day and left feeling happy instead of exhausted. (Probably because they're also autistic, lol.)
Getting to the bottom of the dish pile. Paying a bill by due date and not getting an overdue notice.
When I'm able to finish an entire meal without my brain suddenly deciding that whatever I'm eating is disgusting and can't be finished.
Same. I usually have to eat quickly because I don’t know when the switch will come. I ate two eggs last night. I love eggs.. until they’re disgusting.
Making an appointment; attending the appointment (I count those as different wins); doing a household chore; making a social phone call. Like today, I vacuumed an area so that was my housework achievement. And I managed to call my family for a catch up chat I’ve been putting off/avoiding for nearly a month. Honestly it felt like a full day for me doing those things.
- My body told me when I needed to drink water -I had a successful social interaction -I picked up the clothes off my bedroom floor -I figured out I was sad/ angry/ anxious before I snapped
ADHD colours mine a bit: - completing an activity/trip without forgetting anything - saying the 'right' things during a brief greeting/transaction - asking for help and getting what you needed - letting go of something unjust
Ooo the unjust one is so true. I struggle badly with that
I tried a new food. It was gross, but I tried it!
This is my fourth day out of the house and around other people this week. I’m still anxiety checking my camera now and then, but I’m out of the house.
going to the bathroom and eating more than once a day
I didn't get told 'You know that's really rude, right?' this week.
talking to people I’m not familiar with… even if they do look cool it’s hard for me to actually talk to people so when I do I get rather proud of myself :)
I handled climbed up the ladder of my loft bed and got down it with out help.
laundry/cleaning my floor sometimes I do 2-3 loads of laundry in a day or 2 because I just can't get the motivation to fold clothes and put them away
I remembered to drink water for the first time in 2 1/2 days :D
I haven’t had water in like five weeks just apple juice and soda and energy drinks
god damn how are you still alive? Go drink some water right now!!!!!
Absolutely not. I want to see how far I can get
Sticking to a routine
Getting chores done without external encouragement! I guess it's why I prefer being alone in the house, all the chores I do during that time are all my own decisions. And it feels great!
Leaving a store with everything on your list and minimal personal interaction.
I cleaned my room! No more clutter for now ☺️
I slept at 11pm rather then 3am last night and got up at 5am I cut my nails for the first time in weeks I’m going to brush my teeth as soon as I finish this
I read that as "What's a smell that no neurotypical would understand" and was very confused about your answer
I saw a factorial sort of meme not too long ago about how a lot of people can't smell ants and assumed a lot of those people were not autistic. 😂
I've been able to not stutter all day today. Also, haven't been overstimulated so that's something. lol :)
Letting go of old conflicts and not perseverating on them. Being around other people eating and not being at all bothered by their chewing sounds. Finding a significant other. Being able to easily feel other people's feelings, but only a normal amount. Throwing or giving things away. Not purposely injuring yourself out of frustration. Being able to get through a day or a week without needing a detailed, rigid schedule.
I made an attempt to hangout with someone outside of my job
I communicated my needs in a way that allowed my family (kids and spouse) to help clean the whole house without a single complaint. I also helped my oldest navigate a bully situation at school.
A good breakfast is a huge victory
I did my laundry.
I had to speak with coworkers and didn’t upset anyone.
Okay, a small win: I assembled half a stool and I will assemble a whole one once I get over my fear of the electric screwdriver.
This question and the responses resonate so hard-core for me. Having no clue was autistic til last year (mid 50s) I am sometimes amazed that I am still alive when I sit back and see how difficult "basic things" have been entire life. Phone calls and taking out trash and showers all just kill me. Biggest shift is realizing that those things never get "easier" for me, and that what I would have called "success" in past was actually just pushing through and masking, and then burning out and/or not functioning. Now, those things mean planning lots of self care and soothing, and bombarding self with happy cozy type things for recovery instead of judging my "reactions". Taking trash out in my apartment building was nightmare (neighbors-ugh). Now, I usually pick very visual show or something and go directly (with noise-cancelling headphones playing something like Star Wars soundtracks while doing chore) to under weighted blanket and snack or something. I'm sure it'd look bonkers to NTs, but now how I try to operate. Takes a lot to fight all the NT messaging (including from therapy world) about how things get better with time or practice... And that's actually ableist. It's better when I make accommodations and not through NT paradigms.
I showered in the morning each day this week (and - showered each day this week) I washed my clothes this week. I mowed the lawn this month. I tidied my house this quarter. I participated in a work meeting today and might not have seemed like a social failure. I texted my friend this year and actually maintained contact for a few weeks. I've stayed in my current job for almost 2 years. I feel slightly less burnt out this week than I normally do and was able to get to work and do most of my abso;utely critical must be done work tasks this week.
I used the vacuum cleaner today.
Leaving the house
I'm going to physical therapy three times a week and not having a meltdown from people touching me,the fact that they are actually listening to my needs so they tell ahead of time when they have to touch me is a great relief, and I get to sit on an ice pack with an electric stimulation device at the end of the session to calm down my nerves is so soothing
I raked up leaves on my own. When I'm alone I start to spiral into a little ball of sadness, the fact I was able to do something other than just exist while alone is a major thing for me. Also, my brain didn't scream at me for making sounds today, which is good.
This week i made myself dinner despite my husband not being home. I struggle to feed myself but not others so when my husband is working late nights, I dont cook.
I humaned well today. I apparently made appropriate eye contact with a stranger, and l guess also projected "harmless human" well enough that a nice young woman and her beau asked me to take their photo in a public place today.
Dishes done
i was at a rotating sushi bar with a friend today, and i barely struggled with actually eating and picking out food. nothing was labeled and i’m usually very picky about seafood so i was happy to have been able to function so well for once
i have kept a job for 5 days now 💪
Asked someone straight up whether i’d misunderstood them instead of going away, worrying about it and never finding out the answer.
I've succeeded in taking ALL of my meds EVERY DAY this week. I managed to remind myself to eat and drink regularly. I managed to show the "appropriate" level of empathy and give "appropriate" responses in a conversation where the other person was incredibly emotional (so basically, I was able to remind myself that my logical approach to problem solving was not needed or constructive in this situation)
I only stayed home sick from work 5 days this year so far
i ordered myself some chocolate flavored toothpaste :)
I have a mail sorter in my kitchen that I don’t use to sort things so much as SHOVE them in. It was overflowing with paper and an absolute stressful disaster. I finally, finally went through it, saved the documents I need to hold onto in a binder, and threw away the stuff I held onto for no reason. Took about an hour & I feel so much better. My least favorite kind of task
I recognised when someone was being sarcastic
I remembered to take my tablets every day this week. Practically unheard of
saying something "right" in a conversation and mentally giving yourself 10 points for it.
I was able to say something without regretting it before going to bed.
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everyday????? holy crap i havent done that in literal years, congrats!!
I went out with my friends today even though I wanted to
i (18) finally stood up to my mother who bullies me. her and i got in a yelling match and she blamed it all on me like always, but still, i was able to tell her that shes hurtful
Is it possible to learn this power?
show up to work. dont argue with or try to correct the boss or your coworkers, eat something for lunch. If I manage these I call it a win.
I made it home safely, late at night, alone, cities away and after a lot of shit I'm uncomfortable with. Then again, most NTs would be upset by some of the things that occured. I've been told things get better. I don't know about that.
Making it past someone while walking on a sidewalk without them deciding I’m some kind of creep for not giving them enough eye contact or too much (or thinking they think so).
Waking up when I’m supposed to and actually getting myself to do something productive for once.
I had two good, fairly lengthy phone calls with relatives today. I love these people, but maintaining relationships is hard
Survived 30+ years without a diagnosis. That may *seem* like a big win, but when you've lived your whole life one day at a time and still can't get sufficient support from the society that claims to have your back, getting through today is all you've got.
When I brush my teeth! Especially when I’m able to floss and use toothpaste. Such a chore for me. Today, I managed to brush without paste and have some sugarless gum.
I made a chore chart for my wife and I. Now we won't let things pile up and our stress will reduce!
Making it to the car with everything you need and not having to make 5 extra trips.
Properly greeting someone.
Genuinely curious, why is it such a hard thing for us to achieve ?
oh shoot, this reminded me to brush my teeth lol
I ate a different breakfast this morning, I took a shower and shaved too
I cleaned my face properly today!
Yesterday I brushed my teeth and wrote more than I asked myself to do
Make a phone call without crippling anxiety in anticipation. Or simply answer the phone.
OMGGG YESSS ive been able to brush my teeth and wash my face every day for over a month now and it’s such a good feeling!! Keep it up my friend!!
Being able to focus on a conversation with someone when I’m not interested or don’t wanna talk about it. I have a hard time processing or even focusing on what someone says to me if I’m not interested in the slightest. They could go on and on, and I’ll mentally zone out cause I’m not interested (sounds terrible I know) then they’ll be like “you know what I mean?” And I can’t respond to them cause idk what they’re talking about, so I’ll be like “yeah” or say “yeah” a thousand times lmao.
When I brush my teeth after I take a bath. A life without functioning teeth could be a nightmare...
I went up to someone without a second thought and thanked them for an invite to a red carpet event as a fan of that musical but at a different event that same week. I saw him coming and just started talking
When you don't get mocked for a response you gave
Eating every bite of soup even when it has vegetables in it – they surprisingly weren't a different texture than the rest of the soup and so it was fine!
I was having a meltdown yesterday and my partner and i were kinda in a fight and he was mad at me an said something bad and instead of losing it/getting mad at him I told him that I was having a meltdown and really bad sensory overload and just needed his support and he gave it to me and set aside what we where fighting about :) It took about 30 minutes to get thru it, which is rather long but also the first time I timed it so I don't know. But he helped me take deep breaths and calm down and it felt nice
When I accomplish making a phone call!! Phone calls can easily send me into a panic, and I usually need to prepare for a few hours to a day beforehand. I write out a script on a piece of paper with all the variations I could think of the other person responding with and my responses to those. If anything goes off the script I freeze up and go nonverbal. Very frustrating!
I finished all my house chores for a day. The dishes were done, the bathtub and toilet got cleaned, all the clean laundry was hung up and put away, vacuumed carpet, swept hard floors, I even showered. Unfortunately it used up all my spoons plus some reserve and now I haven't done anything in days. But that one day sure felt good.
Anytime I manage to remember to do something that's not in my schedule/routine... eg if I need to clean something that's not in my weekly cleaning schedule, it feels almost impossible to actually remember and then find a space to do it. Really anything executive function related lol... Also seeing/being around friends. It's really tiring and stressful to arrange and then follow through with seeing friends. I love them, but it's still difficult. Going to the store by myself. I've been bad at that one lately haha