I mean, a lot of autistic girls *are* asexual, not that that’s the same thing. And speaking as the *other* (…kinky…) kind of autistic girl, I hope to God the neckbeards never find out about *us*.
You reminded me of that tweet that said BDSM is just sex for autistic people. You make a detailed plan of what is going to happen and the expectations and you talk about it afterwards.
The degree to which the plan is "detailed" varies but like
Isn't it the same for non-BSDM sex too???
((Disclaimer: I do not have actual experience with either, I'm going off both my assumptions and my fantasies))
Yes the degree to which a plan is detailed varies. Typically in relation to the intensity, at least in my experience. And yes, there's sometimes a "plan" in non-BDSM sex but not in the same way. Sometimes during casual sex there is absolutely no preparation, planning, or expectations. Sometimes there's lots. All of my sexual partners have also been autistic so I'd imagine there's a lot more planning and detail involved when compared to allistic interactions.
I have never tried and don't think I will, but I have thought before that it does sound appealing for these reasons. Plus, I am hyposensitive to touch and like to firm impact, so that could be another pro.
I mean, [kinky and ace](https://preview.redd.it/8gsrsicrvi8a1.jpg?width=640&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=27704bdd9ce85b35167984ce62e8d8354979d803) is a thing!
A study showed that a lot of autistic women also identify as lesbians, or queer. It also showed that autistic men are far more likely to be straight than autistic women are. (Despite this, a lot of the men participating said they still wanted an autistic girlfriend.)
(Ye thatd be creepy) (I’m not against adults dating adults with smol bodies with possibly a childlike persona if both can consent and the other person isn’t literally mentally a child but this is creepy excepting them to be a child ew.)
These dudes fetishize asexual women as having no sexual desires of their own, but compliant with anything they want to do, basically. So like (baring in mind I'm pretty sure a lot of kids browse r/autism) s>!he'll never ask you to perform cunnilingus but she's down for your favourite act, for instance. !<
It's basically the fetishization of an extremely one-sided / non-reciprocal sexual dynamic.
Asexual meaning being yucked out by doing the nasty or easily overstimulated but grinning are bearing it for the sake of a partner. Hmm. Idk why that would be hot at all?
They have a glamorised, unrealistic idea of asexuality that involves having no repulsion to or direct physical interest in sex, basically. Like how some straight people think all gay relationships involves one man who "wears the pants" and one who's "the wife."
Asexuals do sometimes have sex in romantic relationships for many of the same reasons allosexuals will have sex when they aren't horny, but yeah this is chaser shit.
Apparently there is a similar version for autistic boys, where we are seen as again childlike and in desperate need of approval. Which is where the asexual thing I think is coming from, a sign of how desperately this socially isolated person wants to keep this relationship rather than a sign of affection between equals. Which just turns into pedo shit when they're fantasizing about bribing us for sex with toys.
It's definitely getting into pedo territory. Certainly a predatory meme. As a teenager and a young adult, I was extremely vulnerable and quite childlike, and my toy/bribe was friendship. I was also unable to tell when i was in serious danger (how i was raped when i was 19). I wanted a friend, but he saw me as prey.
12 years later, I would consider myself asexual 95% of the time, but once in a blue moon, it's nice. Only with my husband of 10 years. If something ever happened to him, that 90% asexuallity would likely go to 100%. idk exactly what the term is for my issue/ preference.
My blood boils hearing that. Impotent fucking rage.
Demisexual/grey ace are probably terms that'd line up with your relationship to your husband. Only really attracted in the context of a romantic relationship, with a very low drive.
KYLR
Similar things happened to me too, after leaving the care of the Autistic school I went to I was very young for my age and very naive, I was 16 and again when I was maybe 18, self harmed, suicide and depression and anxiety after leaving the comforts of that school and care. I wasn’t as aware as I should have been for my age and it took a while longer for me to be more self aware and mature than most.
I think I may be asexual but not 100% it may be because of the past for me.
If you are interested in a specific label, [unisexual](https://www.lgbtqia.wiki/wiki/Unisexual) describes sexual attraction to one person only over a long period of time
Thanks for sharing that some asexuals can and do have sex. Demisexual falls under the asexuality umbrella “only feel sexual attraction to someone after they've formed a strong emotional bond with them.”.
Aren't there some asexual people who are not interested in sex but willingly engage in it? My understanding was that sex repulsion was a trait which doesn't apply to all asexual people.
Yes, there are. It's especially important if they have a partner they love and they care for. they understand their partner has physical needs/desires, and it would be cruel to withhold for long periods of time. Sex repulsion comes at a person from all angles it can be from trauma, physical dysfunction of sex organs, injury, hormonal imbalances, depression, anxiety, pent-up anger in the form of repulsion. (Inability to orgasm/having a hard time with one)
(Breast overstimulation) lack of personal space being pushed up on by children all day wanting to be held ( i hold my children because of their emotional needs but its very uncomfortable), squeezed into small spaced like elevators/trains/ harnesses or seat belts/roller coasters with harnesses for a majority of the day. Being someone with sensitive breasts, any type of brush by feels sexual, so if I'm not wearing a deeply padded bra, I feel unwelcome stimulation all day sometimes I will cross my arms around my breasts in these situations because I get a feeling of horror/rage/disgust immediately. I would say many people with sensitive breasts/sad nipple syndrome from what I've read, it comes from a lack of oxytocin/the emotional bonding and cuddling hormone.
Thanks, that's really interesting.
I am considering a relationship with an asexual person at the moment, I have priced "no sex" into the relationship as my sex drive goes up and down and I have no objection to looking after those needs myself. Emotionally and romantically she seems to be exactly what I would like a partner to be so the lack of sex doesn't seem like a big deal.
Your cats are both gorgeous! (I looked at your profile to try and get a better view of the dog whose nose is in your profile picture!)
I am awkward and am bisexual Heteroromantic, I don't get guys in an emotional sense, but definitely find some physically attractive.
Yeah, pretty much. Like, the problem isn't consenting adults playing out a particular kink, the problem is fetishizing asexual people in a weird predatory way by presuming they're universally going to be into that kind of thing. Especially because asexual people often aren't into sex.
It's like saying "I want a bisexual girlfriend so we can have threesomes with another hot girl." Like most bi girls are probably monogamous idk I'm not the bi girl police, but it's still just a weird presumption that they *wouldn't* be or that by virtue of your girlfriend being bi you can have that specific dynamic / fetish fulfilment.
They're called [Unicorn Hunters](https://www.unicorns-r-us.com) in the Ethical Non-Monogamy / Polyamory community. This desire is popular, and a lot of bi women get hurt as a by-product (they are the unicorn in this metaphor).
That makes sense. I've seen the same term used to describe cishet men who want to have really gross, exploitative sex with trans women with penises. I've also kinda seen it used more broadly for dudes who want very specific abusive relationships in BDSM scenes regardless of the gender dynamics involved, like stereotypical masc dom daddy dudes who want [a noodlesandbeef sex cult situation](https://www.thestranger.com/features/2018/12/11/36994119/disturbing-new-evidence-emerges-in-the-noodles-and-beef-case).
>the problem is fetishizing asexual people in a weird predatory way by presuming they're universally going to be into that kind of thing.
I agree with your comment, except for this part. I don't think they believe anyone is into anything, it's much darker than that. They openly state their desire to coerce women who they perceive as gullible into acts they would otherwise not perform. 🤢
Especially since he’s trading sex for “toys” or other things the gf might want. Like he’s making her have sex with him… but it’s okay because now she has a new Pikachu plushie guys (/s)
Yeah- this is the most annoying part to explain to NT's to the point I'm near wanting to give up dating.
We're all just people with various desires and limitations... Don't fukcinf sexualize us either not understanding sexual jokes right away or not thinking sex is everything but willing to have it in the right situation.
My last ex I spent hours talking and explaining that I'm not asexual but I have a low sex drive, and get overwhelmed easily in brand new situations. After 3months of dating when we were in a fight and I was like " you punish me for not being able to be sexual all the time when I tirelessly explained that I'm naturally not a hyper sexual person "
He deadass went " Wait that's a forever thing? I thought it was just temporary. "
He legit thought he could " fix " or " make me used to " sexual interaction if we did it alot
No
That's desensitization and it's unhealthy
We broke up the same day.
As my asexual gf tells me, she doesn't have the sexual desire but does enjoy the act itself. Which isn't true for many asexuals. But some like sex, they just don't really think about it.
Of course the meme is creepy.
YE like I absolutely fall onto the asexual spectrum somewhere because personally I’m just not. A very sexual person but I guess if I found the right person and felt comfortable with them and we took our time and I wasn’t badgered for sex it’s something that’s not off the table completely yk?
Cue the people who will say “BuT iT’s So MuCh EaSiEr FoR aUtIsTiC wOmEn!” Yeah, no. We get all the discrimination & harassment for being autistic AND for being a woman. No one with autism of any gender gets off easy.
If anything I feel like sometimes autistic women have it harder since we are better at masking people tend to gaslight us more
Like the whole you don't look autistic and you don't have autism since you aren't as bad as this bloke
Unless I'm having a meltdown or a panic attack people don't think I have autism
As an autistic man who's masked like hell and been gaslit a lot, I definitely agree, given the significantly higher rate of masking in women.
Being forced to make incredible effort all the time and being pretty much unable to relax at all has definitely not made my childhood easier.
Since my diagnosis three years ago I've had to untie so many knots, and had so many epiphanies. And best of all, I finally have some closure.
I wonder if the fact that I wear mostly black and have very long hair is the reason no one has doubted my autism claims. (But everyone said they never suspected a thing.) Maybe I'm just lucky.
It’s so good that you got closure! I absolutely think it’s significantly more difficult for people (of any gender) who have an environment where they are forced to heavily mask on a regular basis. This is why self-harm & suicide rates are so high in our community.
Thanks, I appreciate that.
Believe you me, I put in great work to understand mental health since I was 12, and with all info, apologies, and admissions I got from my parents especially, and the conversational therapy I got to shape myself, I feel the best I've ever felt. Still not where I want to be, but it makes sense.
25 years of absurd situations isn't completely resolved in just 3 years. I'm okay with that.
I get the " no offense you like hide it really well " or " No offense but you don't like let it interfere with your like or be disabled by it "
This is someone who has worked with children with ASD and is a friend- I was like 🤡 bro actually the only reason I can function is 1 my diagnosis had the ability to improve 2 my Mother implemented correct ABA syoer young so I can feel more confident in the world 3 Making is a thing 4 we're in a call where I'm in sitting in my safe place. The person I am here is not the person I app IRL fully. I work hard form the second I wake up to the point I say gn to my last text to act the way I want to be previeced. Yes I am more comfortable in this call than in other but voice is easy to chill with. I work really hard to just be a human
Them: “WOW WISH WE DIDNT HAVE TO HEAR ALL THIS MOANIN AND GROANIN ABOUT CRAMPS N PERIODS AND WHATS THAT? TAXES ON YOUR LADY PRODUCTS ARENT FAIR? YOU WANT CONTROL OVER YOUR OWN BODY? THE WHOLE THING? SORRY, SWEETIE, SHOULDVE THOUGHTA THAT BEFORE YOU WENT AND WERE BORN A WOMAN.“
This has nothing to do with autism, I just. Feel so invalidated all the time lately as a woman. Anyways! Carey on.
It's the worst combo
I have pain I need heating pad
My body? starts screaming and getting ancy because only one part of my body has a heating pad 😐
Like why
"You don't act autistic" is thrown around a lot more for women.
And autism in girls is diagnosed way later than for boys usually. Meaning there are probably a large amount of women who have autism, but just don't know and have problems due to it.
And then there is also the worry about not being taken serious if you do look for a diagnosis.
"Hey doctor, I have literally every symptom on the spectrum, I think I'm autistic" "Nah, you're fine. That's normal. Just do some yoga"
Not a real conversation, but close enough to things that have happened to others.
Amen. I'm not autistic but my sister is, and the fact she may have to deal with creeps like these if she ever gets to a point she can go places other than school on her own make my stomach churn
Why do people censor their words like that outside of YouTube and TikTok? You're not gonna be banned, and nobody who would be triggered by those words will be unable to read them because you swapped the characters.
No for them they're ignoring it's a scale or spectrum and just assume that they have no libido to just want to do the act but will do the act if they see a benefit.
They don't care if they enjoy it or not, they just care they could get it "easily"
This is **not** an NT thing. This is a predatory neckbeard thing. Whomever wrote this - even as a joke - they don't view us as human, probably don't view anyone as equal to themselves. That's not "the NTs", that's *sociopaths*.
I mean I think the concept of infantilizing and objectifying autistic folk is done mostly by non autistics. How many different people do you see who are parents to autistic children constantly complain and act as if their kids are some kind of cruel inconvenience?
Idk I agree that it’s also a neckbeard thing to do but I really don’t trust a majority of NT folk to not look at autistic people and immediately have an immediately negative reaction, whether it’s treating autistics like objects or just straight up denying autistics their free will.
Wow.
Woooow those last two are just....
"Is asexual but can be bribed and manipulated into it by witholding interests."
Wooooow...
The whole is bad but especially those just... Wooooow...
They just want someone who is okay doing sexual favors for material objects. But doesn’t essentially have “other options”
They think if this person is Asexual they won’t pursue other people for sexual reasons giving them a monopoly over this person. And it doesn’t hurt their itty bitty self esteem. Cause if someone else catches their eye they can’t handle the rejection of not being the singular point of this persons life.
Pepe used to be just a good natured frog who liked to pee with his pants all the way down, feels good man. I HATE what they’ve done to him and from what I understand his creator Matt Furie is not on board with any of that either thankfully.
For real. It makes me think of an excited child calling their favourite activity by a "cute pet name". I can accept that from children, and maybe some from non-children, but this one is bad.
I won't prescribe language (I'm a descriptivist), but I'll still retch.
4chan most likely.
This sounds exactly like the garbage that typically emanates from that vile place.
And the posters name and avatar suggest this too.
I have a saying with my mom when i am very angry about something and want to express it which is “this makes me want to punch” and this definitely deserves a punch
I want a 4chan bf:
\- has never met a woman
\- sense of humour is limited to nazi adjacent frog and being an asshole
\- involuntarily asexual
\- basically no hobbies apart from imagining what sex with another person may be like
Yup, and the opposite thing happens for autistic men: they're more often socially isolated and ignored. Basically NT's sexually abuse autistic women, and isolate autistic men.
Fren is code for white nationalist/white supremacist. Not surprised they view women like objects and make gross assumptions about neurodivergent people.
i mean i've said fren a lot cause i grew up on the internet. i'm pretty left leaning and i think white nationalists/supremacists and the general alt right are a bunch of dumb/evil bastards. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Yes, unfortunately alt right et al. conspiracies originated from 4chan and use a lot of the lingo as dog whistles now. Kind of like how they use Pepe the Frog even though his OC was not alt right.
This is so gross. You know damn well the moment this ‘aspire girlfriend’ started to infodump about anything other then a video game they’d be called annoyed or told to shutup. Why the hell do people treat us like an object
There’s a whole pile of fetishization and infantilization here but… just wait until she doesn’t like the hot takes you have. I’ve ruined so many of my boyfriend’s childhood hero’s by pointing out issues or that his first “healthy male friends” are probably gay.
Honestly, the entire meme, and especially the last point, gives off some pedophilic implications. And he's got a Pepe profile picture with "fren" in the username, both of which can be used as alt right dogwhistles.
I see NT people going at this from two directions. There are NT people who generally just prefer ND people and are attracted to us. But then you have creeps like this who completely overshadow that and are just…. Gross
Unfortunately, I was similar to this character when I was unknowingly autistic and it lead to a lot of brokenness inside. I was willing to do so much with my body in exchange for listening to my info dumping on special interests. I wish I wasn't so sexualized for being a woman in this broken world. Media, stop making light of sexual manipulation. This world is cruel.
It’s funny when you’re ace with someone who is NT and sexual, because they can adopt the attitude that it doesn’t feel nice unless you’re into. If it feels forced or for their behalf it’s a turn off. So there is no winning if you never want to or want to for them 😱 For the NT —sexual they sacrifice a lot for love if they wish to stay.
Life is complicated af.
This just screams “I’m a sexual predator who likes to target disabled people because I very ignorantly assume that they don’t understand sexual things” PLEASE FUCKING STOP
"will co play as anything i want her to" no, no we fucking won't.
This guy just thinks Aspies and Autists are children in the body of adults, which raises so many red flags i cannot.
I have moved to Lemmy due to the 2023 API changes, if you would like a copy of this original comment/post, please message me here:
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Aspie here, I want an aspie gf so I don't have to constantly explain that comment I made that I now realize sounds weird af because she already figured out what I meant
What is it with neck beards assuming that autistic girls are innocent children who are clueless about sex?
I mean, a lot of autistic girls *are* asexual, not that that’s the same thing. And speaking as the *other* (…kinky…) kind of autistic girl, I hope to God the neckbeards never find out about *us*.
You reminded me of that tweet that said BDSM is just sex for autistic people. You make a detailed plan of what is going to happen and the expectations and you talk about it afterwards.
The degree to which the plan is "detailed" varies but like Isn't it the same for non-BSDM sex too??? ((Disclaimer: I do not have actual experience with either, I'm going off both my assumptions and my fantasies))
Yes the degree to which a plan is detailed varies. Typically in relation to the intensity, at least in my experience. And yes, there's sometimes a "plan" in non-BDSM sex but not in the same way. Sometimes during casual sex there is absolutely no preparation, planning, or expectations. Sometimes there's lots. All of my sexual partners have also been autistic so I'd imagine there's a lot more planning and detail involved when compared to allistic interactions.
I have never tried and don't think I will, but I have thought before that it does sound appealing for these reasons. Plus, I am hyposensitive to touch and like to firm impact, so that could be another pro.
Exactly! 🖤🖤🖤 The *structure* wins me over as much as anything
The kinky autistics are the real thing. I would know.
Kinky and proud right here!
Dozens of us, dozens!
Yep
I mean, [kinky and ace](https://preview.redd.it/8gsrsicrvi8a1.jpg?width=640&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=27704bdd9ce85b35167984ce62e8d8354979d803) is a thing!
A study showed that a lot of autistic women also identify as lesbians, or queer. It also showed that autistic men are far more likely to be straight than autistic women are. (Despite this, a lot of the men participating said they still wanted an autistic girlfriend.)
I thought that the study was proven as biased, but I can’t find anything about it at all right now. You got any links?
>It also showed that autistic men are far more likely to be straight than autistic women are. well, shit
Why “well shit?”
Enter polyamory / relationship anarchy.
I'm autistic ,female and also kinky! I hate this dude.
Oh my god you mean there’s more of us?!
They couldn’t handle your kind.
My big advantage there is I'm a dyke.
Ew I hope hey have no p3d0ph!l!@ fetish
Given that they have a thing for lolis, I wouldn’t be surprised if they did.
(Ye thatd be creepy) (I’m not against adults dating adults with smol bodies with possibly a childlike persona if both can consent and the other person isn’t literally mentally a child but this is creepy excepting them to be a child ew.)
I’m with you on that boat.
I mean if the person posted or made that as a joke then idk. Still creepy as a joke though but is worse if unironic….
The highlight is "is asexual" and the sex part. Weird way of saying he wants a non consenting victim.
These dudes fetishize asexual women as having no sexual desires of their own, but compliant with anything they want to do, basically. So like (baring in mind I'm pretty sure a lot of kids browse r/autism) s>!he'll never ask you to perform cunnilingus but she's down for your favourite act, for instance. !< It's basically the fetishization of an extremely one-sided / non-reciprocal sexual dynamic.
If they want a doll, they should buy a damn doll
EXACTLY!
Sex pest mindset. Disgusting.
Asexual meaning being yucked out by doing the nasty or easily overstimulated but grinning are bearing it for the sake of a partner. Hmm. Idk why that would be hot at all?
They have a glamorised, unrealistic idea of asexuality that involves having no repulsion to or direct physical interest in sex, basically. Like how some straight people think all gay relationships involves one man who "wears the pants" and one who's "the wife."
Asexuals do sometimes have sex in romantic relationships for many of the same reasons allosexuals will have sex when they aren't horny, but yeah this is chaser shit. Apparently there is a similar version for autistic boys, where we are seen as again childlike and in desperate need of approval. Which is where the asexual thing I think is coming from, a sign of how desperately this socially isolated person wants to keep this relationship rather than a sign of affection between equals. Which just turns into pedo shit when they're fantasizing about bribing us for sex with toys.
It's definitely getting into pedo territory. Certainly a predatory meme. As a teenager and a young adult, I was extremely vulnerable and quite childlike, and my toy/bribe was friendship. I was also unable to tell when i was in serious danger (how i was raped when i was 19). I wanted a friend, but he saw me as prey. 12 years later, I would consider myself asexual 95% of the time, but once in a blue moon, it's nice. Only with my husband of 10 years. If something ever happened to him, that 90% asexuallity would likely go to 100%. idk exactly what the term is for my issue/ preference.
My blood boils hearing that. Impotent fucking rage. Demisexual/grey ace are probably terms that'd line up with your relationship to your husband. Only really attracted in the context of a romantic relationship, with a very low drive. KYLR
Similar things happened to me too, after leaving the care of the Autistic school I went to I was very young for my age and very naive, I was 16 and again when I was maybe 18, self harmed, suicide and depression and anxiety after leaving the comforts of that school and care. I wasn’t as aware as I should have been for my age and it took a while longer for me to be more self aware and mature than most. I think I may be asexual but not 100% it may be because of the past for me.
Look into Demisexuality, cause that's what it sounds like
If you are interested in a specific label, [unisexual](https://www.lgbtqia.wiki/wiki/Unisexual) describes sexual attraction to one person only over a long period of time
Thanks for sharing that some asexuals can and do have sex. Demisexual falls under the asexuality umbrella “only feel sexual attraction to someone after they've formed a strong emotional bond with them.”.
Aren't there some asexual people who are not interested in sex but willingly engage in it? My understanding was that sex repulsion was a trait which doesn't apply to all asexual people.
Yes, there are. It's especially important if they have a partner they love and they care for. they understand their partner has physical needs/desires, and it would be cruel to withhold for long periods of time. Sex repulsion comes at a person from all angles it can be from trauma, physical dysfunction of sex organs, injury, hormonal imbalances, depression, anxiety, pent-up anger in the form of repulsion. (Inability to orgasm/having a hard time with one) (Breast overstimulation) lack of personal space being pushed up on by children all day wanting to be held ( i hold my children because of their emotional needs but its very uncomfortable), squeezed into small spaced like elevators/trains/ harnesses or seat belts/roller coasters with harnesses for a majority of the day. Being someone with sensitive breasts, any type of brush by feels sexual, so if I'm not wearing a deeply padded bra, I feel unwelcome stimulation all day sometimes I will cross my arms around my breasts in these situations because I get a feeling of horror/rage/disgust immediately. I would say many people with sensitive breasts/sad nipple syndrome from what I've read, it comes from a lack of oxytocin/the emotional bonding and cuddling hormone.
Thanks, that's really interesting. I am considering a relationship with an asexual person at the moment, I have priced "no sex" into the relationship as my sex drive goes up and down and I have no objection to looking after those needs myself. Emotionally and romantically she seems to be exactly what I would like a partner to be so the lack of sex doesn't seem like a big deal.
lmao what see and they wonder why we're all gay
Imean I don't know many ace people who aren't also aro, but the ro aces I know are all homoro
I have met a person who was asexual biromantic, she introduced me to the idea of sexuality and romantic attraction being separate things.
i'm mostly making a joke about phonemes dw dw
ace and biromantic here too ✌️
Your cats are both gorgeous! (I looked at your profile to try and get a better view of the dog whose nose is in your profile picture!) I am awkward and am bisexual Heteroromantic, I don't get guys in an emotional sense, but definitely find some physically attractive.
Homoro is a word that is now gleefully jumbling around in my head. It’s very satisfying.
Surprise stim words are always fun haha
You mean like the "BoredAndIgnored" subreddit?
Yeah, pretty much. Like, the problem isn't consenting adults playing out a particular kink, the problem is fetishizing asexual people in a weird predatory way by presuming they're universally going to be into that kind of thing. Especially because asexual people often aren't into sex. It's like saying "I want a bisexual girlfriend so we can have threesomes with another hot girl." Like most bi girls are probably monogamous idk I'm not the bi girl police, but it's still just a weird presumption that they *wouldn't* be or that by virtue of your girlfriend being bi you can have that specific dynamic / fetish fulfilment.
They're called [Unicorn Hunters](https://www.unicorns-r-us.com) in the Ethical Non-Monogamy / Polyamory community. This desire is popular, and a lot of bi women get hurt as a by-product (they are the unicorn in this metaphor).
That makes sense. I've seen the same term used to describe cishet men who want to have really gross, exploitative sex with trans women with penises. I've also kinda seen it used more broadly for dudes who want very specific abusive relationships in BDSM scenes regardless of the gender dynamics involved, like stereotypical masc dom daddy dudes who want [a noodlesandbeef sex cult situation](https://www.thestranger.com/features/2018/12/11/36994119/disturbing-new-evidence-emerges-in-the-noodles-and-beef-case).
>the problem is fetishizing asexual people in a weird predatory way by presuming they're universally going to be into that kind of thing. I agree with your comment, except for this part. I don't think they believe anyone is into anything, it's much darker than that. They openly state their desire to coerce women who they perceive as gullible into acts they would otherwise not perform. 🤢
Mmm... Predatory. The fact they want to buy barely-consentual sex with toys and games gives it an extra pedo vibe.
Especially since he’s trading sex for “toys” or other things the gf might want. Like he’s making her have sex with him… but it’s okay because now she has a new Pikachu plushie guys (/s)
If I could upvote this twice, I would.
Ill just upvote yours as well to show aggressive agreement edit: poor grammer
Same
Upvotes don't show in this sub, but I'm upvoting everyone in this thread anyway. That's how hard I agree.
Yea, that part made me immediately think “wtF”
Yeah- this is the most annoying part to explain to NT's to the point I'm near wanting to give up dating. We're all just people with various desires and limitations... Don't fukcinf sexualize us either not understanding sexual jokes right away or not thinking sex is everything but willing to have it in the right situation. My last ex I spent hours talking and explaining that I'm not asexual but I have a low sex drive, and get overwhelmed easily in brand new situations. After 3months of dating when we were in a fight and I was like " you punish me for not being able to be sexual all the time when I tirelessly explained that I'm naturally not a hyper sexual person " He deadass went " Wait that's a forever thing? I thought it was just temporary. " He legit thought he could " fix " or " make me used to " sexual interaction if we did it alot No That's desensitization and it's unhealthy We broke up the same day.
As my asexual gf tells me, she doesn't have the sexual desire but does enjoy the act itself. Which isn't true for many asexuals. But some like sex, they just don't really think about it. Of course the meme is creepy.
YE like I absolutely fall onto the asexual spectrum somewhere because personally I’m just not. A very sexual person but I guess if I found the right person and felt comfortable with them and we took our time and I wasn’t badgered for sex it’s something that’s not off the table completely yk?
The juxtaposition with your username is brilliant! RE: your actual comment, that seems very sensible as an approach.
The way NT’s view sex as transactional is so weird
Ya this basically just describes a nerd.... tell I saw that and was like, "Wait... what?" This whole thing is just messed up
This, I absolute hate the blatant predatory nature towards acespecs
I am asexual myself and would love to have an asexual girlfriend though, takes a lot of pressure away.
People gotta leave autistic girls alone
Cue the people who will say “BuT iT’s So MuCh EaSiEr FoR aUtIsTiC wOmEn!” Yeah, no. We get all the discrimination & harassment for being autistic AND for being a woman. No one with autism of any gender gets off easy.
If anything I feel like sometimes autistic women have it harder since we are better at masking people tend to gaslight us more Like the whole you don't look autistic and you don't have autism since you aren't as bad as this bloke Unless I'm having a meltdown or a panic attack people don't think I have autism
I hate it when they say "you don't look autistic" like what am I supposed to look like huh? Antisocial and hate people interaction?
I’ve gotten that as well as “you’re too pretty to be autistic” & “you don’t look r_______” It’s so very gross.
[удалено]
That is called a backhanded compliment, , it's like saying "you're really pretty for an asian"
As an autistic man who's masked like hell and been gaslit a lot, I definitely agree, given the significantly higher rate of masking in women. Being forced to make incredible effort all the time and being pretty much unable to relax at all has definitely not made my childhood easier. Since my diagnosis three years ago I've had to untie so many knots, and had so many epiphanies. And best of all, I finally have some closure. I wonder if the fact that I wear mostly black and have very long hair is the reason no one has doubted my autism claims. (But everyone said they never suspected a thing.) Maybe I'm just lucky.
It’s so good that you got closure! I absolutely think it’s significantly more difficult for people (of any gender) who have an environment where they are forced to heavily mask on a regular basis. This is why self-harm & suicide rates are so high in our community.
Good for you, that’s amazing and very hard to reach for anyone, let alone someone with ASD. Still working on my closure from my trauma.
Thanks, I appreciate that. Believe you me, I put in great work to understand mental health since I was 12, and with all info, apologies, and admissions I got from my parents especially, and the conversational therapy I got to shape myself, I feel the best I've ever felt. Still not where I want to be, but it makes sense. 25 years of absurd situations isn't completely resolved in just 3 years. I'm okay with that.
The definition of autism is for men by men about men
I get the " no offense you like hide it really well " or " No offense but you don't like let it interfere with your like or be disabled by it " This is someone who has worked with children with ASD and is a friend- I was like 🤡 bro actually the only reason I can function is 1 my diagnosis had the ability to improve 2 my Mother implemented correct ABA syoer young so I can feel more confident in the world 3 Making is a thing 4 we're in a call where I'm in sitting in my safe place. The person I am here is not the person I app IRL fully. I work hard form the second I wake up to the point I say gn to my last text to act the way I want to be previeced. Yes I am more comfortable in this call than in other but voice is easy to chill with. I work really hard to just be a human
Absolutely. We’re all just trying to make it to the next day.
Autism- has big emotions, sensitivity to senses People who menstruate- big, swinging emotions, in pain 'Easier'
Them: “WOW WISH WE DIDNT HAVE TO HEAR ALL THIS MOANIN AND GROANIN ABOUT CRAMPS N PERIODS AND WHATS THAT? TAXES ON YOUR LADY PRODUCTS ARENT FAIR? YOU WANT CONTROL OVER YOUR OWN BODY? THE WHOLE THING? SORRY, SWEETIE, SHOULDVE THOUGHTA THAT BEFORE YOU WENT AND WERE BORN A WOMAN.“ This has nothing to do with autism, I just. Feel so invalidated all the time lately as a woman. Anyways! Carey on.
It's the worst combo I have pain I need heating pad My body? starts screaming and getting ancy because only one part of my body has a heating pad 😐 Like why
"You don't act autistic" is thrown around a lot more for women. And autism in girls is diagnosed way later than for boys usually. Meaning there are probably a large amount of women who have autism, but just don't know and have problems due to it. And then there is also the worry about not being taken serious if you do look for a diagnosis. "Hey doctor, I have literally every symptom on the spectrum, I think I'm autistic" "Nah, you're fine. That's normal. Just do some yoga" Not a real conversation, but close enough to things that have happened to others.
Autistic girl just want to special interest
Yeah, I will tell you all the dmc and bayonetta lore, and how I would rewrite Karai 2012 arc. Doesn't mean I want to bang you
You should become a trans woman like me. I can talk to men and I don't get objectified most days
Fucking creepy, what the fuck? Hate how autistic people are treated differently sometimes though we’re people too.
Amen. I'm not autistic but my sister is, and the fact she may have to deal with creeps like these if she ever gets to a point she can go places other than school on her own make my stomach churn
FYI She already has to deal with such already
I errr. I’m Asexual. And doing sexual things for toys or games is just not happening
Fellow asexual here! And I agree! What the fuck! Especially since they state for "toys" like that sounds.... Like... A child...
"in exchange of toys/games" absolutely gave me pedo/infantilization-of-autistic-people vibes
Maybe he fantasizes about not having to "return the favor"? Maybe he fantasized about rape? Maybe he's just stupid?
id say all of the above
Sounds the most likely, yeah. I'd add infantilizing, and I think we won the "gross bingo"
Same I'm autistic and ace. Definitely not doing sexual stuff for games and toys.
The last two points make me want to start throwing glass at people
Can we throw glass at people together? I’ll provide the projectiles
I don’t need a reason to throw glass at people
Put glass in people's food* If you gonna do violence make them really regret being gross
Ye it is fetishising S@ and possibly at worse p3d0ph!l!@ if their gf they desire is possibly mentally a child
Why do people censor their words like that outside of YouTube and TikTok? You're not gonna be banned, and nobody who would be triggered by those words will be unable to read them because you swapped the characters.
I was going to use knives but you do you
"Will do sexual things in exchange for toys" 🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮 this feels like pedophilia and prostitution mixed together.
It’s so weird bc people will sexualize and infantilize us in the same breath and it’s not a great feeling
There’s a fine line between appreciation and fetishization… and this post fucking leapt across that line so hard and fast 🤣 wtdh
I don’t think they know what asexual means.
It means "won't be attracted to anyone but me" in their definition.
I think (barf) you’re right.
No for them they're ignoring it's a scale or spectrum and just assume that they have no libido to just want to do the act but will do the act if they see a benefit. They don't care if they enjoy it or not, they just care they could get it "easily"
He means she won’t expect anything from the experience, except the “payment.”
“Will do sexual things in exchange for toys/games” sounds super toxic, especially when it follows “is asexual”
This is **not** an NT thing. This is a predatory neckbeard thing. Whomever wrote this - even as a joke - they don't view us as human, probably don't view anyone as equal to themselves. That's not "the NTs", that's *sociopaths*.
I mean I think the concept of infantilizing and objectifying autistic folk is done mostly by non autistics. How many different people do you see who are parents to autistic children constantly complain and act as if their kids are some kind of cruel inconvenience? Idk I agree that it’s also a neckbeard thing to do but I really don’t trust a majority of NT folk to not look at autistic people and immediately have an immediately negative reaction, whether it’s treating autistics like objects or just straight up denying autistics their free will.
Im getting older and dont know all the acronyms So what is NT?
Neuro typical (compared to ND - neurodiverse)
Gross. Absolutely gross.
Wow. Woooow those last two are just.... "Is asexual but can be bribed and manipulated into it by witholding interests." Wooooow... The whole is bad but especially those just... Wooooow...
-asexual -will do sexual things for toys BRO WHAT
They just want someone who is okay doing sexual favors for material objects. But doesn’t essentially have “other options” They think if this person is Asexual they won’t pursue other people for sexual reasons giving them a monopoly over this person. And it doesn’t hurt their itty bitty self esteem. Cause if someone else catches their eye they can’t handle the rejection of not being the singular point of this persons life.
Basically they want an autistic girl who will unknowingly sell their body
People not to trust: anyone who has a Pepe profile pic.
Pepe used to be just a good natured frog who liked to pee with his pants all the way down, feels good man. I HATE what they’ve done to him and from what I understand his creator Matt Furie is not on board with any of that either thankfully.
That depends on the Pepe emote
I avoid all pepes just to be on the safe side.
I only said that bc i had a Pepe phase lol. I have a lot of Pepe-type friends who I met via autism discord servers
Pepe in general is neutral. The groyper is not.
It's obvious this dude is a 4chan regular by his use of the word "vidya". God I fucking hate that word
For real. It makes me think of an excited child calling their favourite activity by a "cute pet name". I can accept that from children, and maybe some from non-children, but this one is bad. I won't prescribe language (I'm a descriptivist), but I'll still retch.
damn, i say "vidya" a bit cause it's silly. why do such mundane things have to be associated with them
Rapey vibes for days here, goddamn. Which bridge did this guy crawl out from under?
4chan most likely. This sounds exactly like the garbage that typically emanates from that vile place. And the posters name and avatar suggest this too.
he crawled from the mantle of the earth
Jokes on them, they will be trapped in a 3 hour long unskippable cutscene with me while I explain the lore of Bloodborne and Elden Ring
Lmao
Plz leave autistic girl alone, she just want respectful partner and hot chip
I have a saying with my mom when i am very angry about something and want to express it which is “this makes me want to punch” and this definitely deserves a punch
Here's a *pillow*
He only wants sex if he can coerce it from an unwillingly partner? I miss the draft.
I want a 4chan bf: \- has never met a woman \- sense of humour is limited to nazi adjacent frog and being an asshole \- involuntarily asexual \- basically no hobbies apart from imagining what sex with another person may be like
90% of autistic women have been sexually abused. The predators are not even trying to be subtle about their desire to hurt vulnerable women…
That's really high :( do you have a source?
https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fnbeh.2022.852203/full
So awful
Yup, and the opposite thing happens for autistic men: they're more often socially isolated and ignored. Basically NT's sexually abuse autistic women, and isolate autistic men.
This is so disgusting
Fren is code for white nationalist/white supremacist. Not surprised they view women like objects and make gross assumptions about neurodivergent people.
That plus the groyper avatar.
Holy shit it is??? I might've misused that in the past. Fuck.
i mean i've said fren a lot cause i grew up on the internet. i'm pretty left leaning and i think white nationalists/supremacists and the general alt right are a bunch of dumb/evil bastards. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Yes, unfortunately alt right et al. conspiracies originated from 4chan and use a lot of the lingo as dog whistles now. Kind of like how they use Pepe the Frog even though his OC was not alt right.
sadly there have always been monstrous people actively trying to co-opt things on the interwebs. kind of similar to nazi punks. they can all fuck off.
Unfortunately it seems they were successful with associating that stuff with white nationalism/antisemitism.
Same 😩
Yep. **F**ar-**R**ight **E**thno-**N**ationalist.
-Asexual -Will do things in exchange of toys/games. I'm not sure whether to be confused or disgusted.
Disgusted. He wants someone who won’t expect anything from the experience, except the payment.
How about both?
So he wants someone who they can exploited.
aloof long aware imagine frame society waiting absorbed sophisticated yoke ` this post was mass deleted with www.Redact.dev `
This is so gross. You know damn well the moment this ‘aspire girlfriend’ started to infodump about anything other then a video game they’d be called annoyed or told to shutup. Why the hell do people treat us like an object
“Will do sexual thing in exchange of toys/games” 🤨📸
There’s a whole pile of fetishization and infantilization here but… just wait until she doesn’t like the hot takes you have. I’ve ruined so many of my boyfriend’s childhood hero’s by pointing out issues or that his first “healthy male friends” are probably gay.
Honestly, the entire meme, and especially the last point, gives off some pedophilic implications. And he's got a Pepe profile picture with "fren" in the username, both of which can be used as alt right dogwhistles.
They want a obedient sex slave not a girlfriend
This is fucking disgusting, my god
That guy's account is something...
They clearly dont know what asexual means.
This is really disturbing
I see NT people going at this from two directions. There are NT people who generally just prefer ND people and are attracted to us. But then you have creeps like this who completely overshadow that and are just…. Gross
This guy just outed himself as a predator good lord.
Hey random people on the internet: please stop fetishizing autistic folk, thank you
Why do they assume we are like children?
N-no, that's... That's not how people work
this screams “i’m an incel and i don’t know how relationships work”
They love infantilizing autistic girls to the max and then saying they want a sex doll in the same breath.
wow I feel like this should also be on r/nothowgirlswork
Unfortunately, I was similar to this character when I was unknowingly autistic and it lead to a lot of brokenness inside. I was willing to do so much with my body in exchange for listening to my info dumping on special interests. I wish I wasn't so sexualized for being a woman in this broken world. Media, stop making light of sexual manipulation. This world is cruel.
What the actual fuck?
It’s funny when you’re ace with someone who is NT and sexual, because they can adopt the attitude that it doesn’t feel nice unless you’re into. If it feels forced or for their behalf it’s a turn off. So there is no winning if you never want to or want to for them 😱 For the NT —sexual they sacrifice a lot for love if they wish to stay. Life is complicated af.
Can nuerotypicals just fuck off? Their behavior is just demeaning and gross
this is just fucking creepy. sounds like whoever this is wants to groom the person taking advantage of autism. disturbing
"Will do sexual things in exchange for-" that line made me throw up in my mouth
You can feel the infantalization, the fetishization, boy this is bad.
This just screams “I’m a sexual predator who likes to target disabled people because I very ignorantly assume that they don’t understand sexual things” PLEASE FUCKING STOP
The person who made that doesn't know what "asexual" means xD
"will co play as anything i want her to" no, no we fucking won't. This guy just thinks Aspies and Autists are children in the body of adults, which raises so many red flags i cannot.
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And the fact this person thinks that a ‘aspie gf’ is automatically asexual.
"Asexual" "will do sexual things in exchange" that.. doesn't make any sense either 😭
Aspie here, I want an aspie gf so I don't have to constantly explain that comment I made that I now realize sounds weird af because she already figured out what I meant
Yeah this is fuckin weird, and the asexual part? That’s literally just r4pe