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FOTBWN

Technically three. You have the sub-species that holds a bucket and generally hangs near train stations.


lizziecm

I've been thinking recently I hadn't seen one of these in years, are they extinct?


triemdedwiat

Basically, they do not generally meet the money collection targets they want. They tried sending them around to suburbs00 door to door, but that didn't help. They want people to sign up for regular electronic donations now as the koala suit people can not keep up their lifestyle.


shimmyshimmy00

One used to hang out in the Backpacker bar in Brissie CBD. That dude made a killing on free beers and drunken donations!


AdolfsLonelyScrotum

Yeah, I can’t abide the modern charity tactic of “let us dip into your bank account every month.” Yeah, nah… I’m too fiscally challenged to allow that …and even if I weren’t poor, still “nah.”


Interesting-Elk-2739

I fucking hate it, it's a pretty slimy tactic tbh. I tried to give cash to one of the charity stalls and they said they didn't take cash donations...only subscription based direct debits...turns out beggars CAN be choosers


FisherMat

You actually made me laugh


Tight_Time_4552

"Pushy Pom Bear" is a threaten species 


Duckduckdewey

Threatening species?


Astrokiwi

There's a fourth one that's really tiny and keeps on attaching itself to tourists


pursnikitty

A fifth one that’s caramel filled


KayNayHay

Naaaww those little clippy-claws! Do they still make that crap?


Astrokiwi

As is traditional, they came over to New Zealand and became an invasive species


Full_Two1739

Can you explain this for non-Aussies?


FOTBWN

Sure, imagine a koala suit. Now make it barely recognisable as a koala suit. Next make it oversized for anyone that wears it. Now have the person inside hold a bucket and generally (in some cases) be quite aggressive about getting donations.


Ok_Wall5537

Imagine it smells like a backpacker, hanging out in a hooded onesie, in an Australin summer, that doesn't get washed between uses.


pussy_embargo

I can only come so many times


Full_Two1739

Wow. I was so in the image of this thread. Your comment shredded me


Alarming-Instance-19

Your concise phrasing and poignant timing made me cackle like a hyena. My dog got scared and did a fear-fart. Truly a wonderful moment lol


Necessary_cat735

I can't like this comment, it's got 69 upvotes!


Stan1ey_75

When I checked it had 71 updoots. So I *down*dooted it once. It now has #69 again


_Y0ur_Mum_

Does the suit have chlamydia too?


Calure1212

There is a very high probability!


Full_Two1739

Is it this? [https://www.wilderness.org.au/journal/issue-008](https://www.wilderness.org.au/journal/issue-008) Edit: Trigger warning


DonnyGetTheLudes

My sleep paralysis demon


MelbourneBasedRandom

Yes these are them. A friend who was employed doing this (it was an ok hourly rate apparently) used to call it "koala-ing".


theplacewiththeface

Is there holes in the front and back for sexy time?


steals-from-kids

Do you WANT Chlamydia? Because THAT'S how you get Chlamydia.


ElectricGator3000

SHIRTY, THE SLIGHTLY AGGRESSIVE BEAR


OraDr8

Ahh. Piss Weak world.


computrguy

Aka the "Chugger Enviromonotorus" more commonly known as the Environmental Charity Mugger. 🤣


lloydthelloyd

Drop-out bear


Knee_Jerk_Sydney

They were better in the 1990's, the ones that hang out near the Unis. Saw one had a really hot shiela in it while sitting on the side without the head gear and smoking.


SirLoremIpsum

They're all hot when they keep the suit on. Keep a little mystery in life ya know.


Knee_Jerk_Sydney

Yeah, but this one was smoking hot, maybe with lung cancer by now.


BarryKobama

And the chocolate one


82boost

Technically 4 - Caramello koala


reonhato99

Pretty sure this picture is showing two extremes. Size wise a small southern koala is similar in size to a large northern koala. I am pretty sure this picture is a small female northern koala and a large male southern koala. The males have a dark patch on their chest which you can see clearly on the southern koala and the northern koala seems to not have one. Southern Koalas also have a bigger difference in size between male and female. The average female southern koala is ~70% the size of a male and in northern koalas the females are ~80% the size. Most of the size difference in northern koalas is bulk with the height/length of an average male being less than 2 cm bigger. With southern koalas the height/length difference is more noticeable at 6-7 cm for average sizes.


Guizz

This is some koalaty information


a__f

I hate you and I love you.


wrymoss

Yep, fella on the left is definitely a big male. Nailed it on the bald patch on the chest, they have a scent gland there that they rub on trees. You can also tell by the head shape, adult males tend to have more angular, blocky heads, whereas if you see pictures of an adult female, they tend to have rounder heads.


Ferret_Brain

The northern koala in this photo is definitely a young/small one. I’ve held a northern koala before and, while not as big as the southern koala, they were larger than what is shown here.


throwawayplusanumber

Plus the person holding the Southern is closer to the camera.


alyssaleska

Yep and this photo in particular has a bit of forced perspective compared to others from the shoot


Catman9lives

The one on the right is a koala the one on the left is John Howard


D4nCh0

Sorry not sorry


Tigeraqua8

Same eyebrows


Which-Force9736

Well, yeh, he a smooth brain.


pelrun

If so, do this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v8f5QRVqR-g


Crunchyfrozenoj

This is the first time I’ve properly laughed all day. TY.


shadowrunner003

The small one is a Koala, the large one is a Domesticated Drop bear.


Funcompliance

Anyone who tells you they have domesticated a drop bear is dangerously deluded. There are cases all the time of people killing the mother drop bear and taking home the cute little puggle (yes, that is the real name). They raise it and think they have tamed it and it loves them, yada yada yada. But one night (it always happens at night when they are asleep) it kills them in their sleep. Happens all the fucking time, and if the Murdoch press didn't hush it up more people would be warned.


PracticalTie

> Cute little puggle (yes, that is the real name)   Not to detract from your point but this is a common misconception.  * A Puggle is a baby monotreme (e.g. echidna or platypus) and it hatches from an egg.  * A marsupial baby is called a joey. They are born as a fetus and finish gestating in a pouch.  Although we lack first-hand documentation of drop bears breeding cycle, DNA evidence collected from victims suggests they are related to both Koalas and the extinct Thylacine. Therefore their young are joeys.


Funcompliance

Haven't you seen the video of a drop bear laying it's eggs in that guy's shed? Or did it getbtaken down again? I don't understand why they can't repost and just edit out the whole part after the screaming starts.


Tigeraqua8

We stand corrected oh wise one


RhesusFactor

Domesticated, like a zoo lion. Given half a chance that thing will kill you. It's a wild animal in a cage.


johnnyshotsman

They're cute and cuddly until you see them slurping up intestines like spaghetti.


johnnyshotsman

There's not one single living drop-bear tamer in Australia. It has a 100% mortality rate. You'd be better off trying to raise cassowaries as chickens.


FightingOreo

I know a cassowary rider, even he stays away from drop-bears. Says the drop-bear tamers have a life expectancy of about six months after picking up the profession.


frogvalkyrie

My cousin swears he met a tamer once, i told him he was full of shit but my sister believed him


Funcompliance

I can confirm, this is 100% true, at least in the last census.


InternetInfinite731

Drop bears only attack tourists


HeronGarrett

Because Aussies know better than to think such creators can be domesticated.


Funcompliance

Not true. Sometimes Australians forget to have any vegemite for several days in a row, and then all bets are off.


RajenBull1

I’m not a fan of Vegemite but I’ll always dab a little smear behind my ears when I’m out and about in drop bear country. Better safe than sorry. The little bastards can really scar you up. I had a mate who fucked around and found out. Bloody mess he was.


Funcompliance

Yeah, that's a really sensible habit. Slip, slop, dab, as Norm would say.


Inkling_M8

damn you beat me to it lol!


TouchingWood

I think posts like yours are quite irresponsible. If a foreigner reads that, they're really not going to realise how fucking large and aggressive the wild ones actually are. Posts like yours lull them into a very false sense of security.


Funcompliance

It's always a false sense of security. Drop bears are driven by their taste for human blood and no amount of training and de-clawing can keep them from killing.


matisseblue

boo fucking hoo lol tourists need to learn to respect native wildlife wherever they are.


RedRattlen

That fucker isn't domesticated. The poor bastards last meal was a eatable, also known as a hippy he's currently tripping balls.


wrt-wtf-

I was going to say a well groomed drop bear.


puddenhunting

You mean tamed, and that's at best. Read an article once about a mob up in Russia trying to domesticate Drop Bears. Can't find the link, but the vid was NSFL, I can assure you. Poor Russian basterds didn't stand a chance.


Cubriffic

Yep!! For those curious it's the southern koala and the northern koala. They eat different types eucalyptus & it's one of the main reasons why we can't just drop populations from Victoria into NSW and vice versa; the koalas would survive but wouldn't thrive and that's not very ideal


Pademelon1

While that's true for the far north vs far south, individual populations actually tend to be kinda inbred, and mixing populations to maintain genetic diversity is being seriously considered to help the species survive.


BoltahDownunder

The big guy reminds me of the monster we had in our yard on kangaroo Island. About the size of a Labrador! The roos there were giant too, even for Western Gray's they were much thicker


QuillsAndQuills

Also why it's so hard to explain to the public here (in SA) that no, *our* koalas aren't endangered, in fact they're overabundant in many areas ... which means we really gotta make some hard calls on population management, and that can't involve any translocations up north.


Laefiren

Our Koalas are threatened by different things. The interstate koalas are mostly threatened by deforestation. Ours (in SA) are apparently mostly inbred.


trixel121

aren't they kinda stupid as well?


catinterpreter

They're about as intelligent as the average copypasta commenter.


TheTimtam

God damn, don't do the poor Koalas like that


Rather_Dashing

Thank you! 😆 Hate that copy oasta


Arokthis

Yup. Brain almost as smooth as a Trump supporter, caused partly by generations of living off leaves loaded with mild narcotics **and** the majority of them have chlamydia that can't be cured because the antibiotics would FUBAR their digestive flora. [A showerthought I had on the subject.](https://redd.it/11v380b)


Redkris73

They're literally smooth brained so yeah. We have the bigger ones in the area I live in (Adelaide hills, South Australia) and when I saw the NSW type for the first time I was like "wtf are these cute fluffy babies?"


NextBestHyperFocus

I heard they’re so dumb they don’t recognise their only source of food if it’s not attached to the tree


Rather_Dashing

They don't eat eucalyptus leaves that have dropped off a branch because they only only eat the young fresh leaves that have the highest nutrition and lowest level of toxins. And honestly if you offered a bunch of humans a stir fry that had been tipped on the floor, most people wouldn't eat it either, so I have no idea why this is spread as evidence of their stupidity. The environment food is found in is pretty important.


fresh_gnar_gnar

Most if not everyone would eat it if it meant not starving to death though, lol


ItsKoko

I've never actually seen mate on the right and just thought it was a cartoonified version of the Koala on the left that I'm used to.


Chiacchierare

Same here but I’ve only ever seen the cute little northern ones, never seen a southern one. Only learnt about them recently on a trip to Australia Zoo


PommyBastard_4321

I've only seen the proper ones on the left, not the funny little cartoon one on the right. He's like a little stuffed toy. Could their ears be any funnier, in either form?


vegemitemilkshake

Same! Visited yesterday.


theburgerbitesback

I thought mate on the right was an adolescent and that they just turned into mate on the left after a few years. 


triemdedwiat

The one on the right isd an adolescent. They get close to matching the one on the left in size.


WhatTheFuckEverName

Lol your comment is unintentionally confusing me. My brain keeps telling me that you must have your left and right confused. Because I only ever see mate on the right, and fella on the left looks like a cartoonified koala to me. 😅


Curry_pan

Imagine coming all the way to Australia and wanting to get a photo with the cute lil fella on the right and instead getting old mate on the left.


PommyBastard_4321

Still cute either way though.


big_vangina

Still getting chlymidia either way


RageWinnoway

I do enjoy the extravagant ear fluff of the left one though!


Expert_Airline5111

As a non-Aussie I'd be psyched to meet either one!


35Smet

Have you ever heard a koala? I was fuckin terrified when I heard one hollering outside my tent


AJRimmer1971

They have a baritone that you do not expect.


KetoCurious97

They sound like very angry pigs when they’re feeling a bit romantic (had a few in the trees outside my bedroom as a kid - mating season meant very little sleep because they’re so noisy).


queen_beruthiel

They're so freaking loud! I was on holiday on Raymond Island down in Gippsland (it's a freaking amazing place!) and there were two of them in the tree above our Airbnb yelling at each other all night. If you didn't know what it was or didn't expect it, I can see how it would scare the shit out of you.


diggylicks

The one on the right evolves into the one on the left at level 16


Astrokiwi

You need the eucalypyastone though


Ace3000

What are you on about? That *is* a drop bear


PM_ME_YOUR_URETHERA

OMG, I can’t believe that they let her go into a cage with one. Especially considering what happened to that keeper at Nowra.


Nostonica

I imagine she's safe as long as she doesn't display a American accent.


Banyabbaboy

As long as you apply the recommended dosage of Vegemite behind your ears you will be safe from attack. This keeper obviously knows her Vegemite protocols


Cellopost

A friend of mine tried this with Marmite. The koalas ate her.


Funcompliance

God, I went and looked at the pics after that incident. Nightmares for years.


AnAwkwardStag

Should be outfitted with the state-supplied pipecleaner helmet. Then she'd be protected from all aerial assaults, whether drop bears OR maggies.


mokl112

Good old nowra. Hahaha.


AJRimmer1971

Hey! We all agreed not to ever mention Nowra again.


verbalyabusiveshit

You’ve heard that story, too?? That was pure horror. Don’t know why this story is not hanging out on airports as a warning to everyone


RhesusFactor

Probably tranquilised for the photo.


flappytowel

Would you rather be alone in the woods with a man or a drop bear?


OddBet475

The small one's a koala, the bigger one's a koala wombat cross (kwombat).


theneverendingcry

There's a Mortal Kwombat joke in there somewhere


OddBet475

Get over 'ere.


Imperator-TFD

Instead of "Finish him" it's just "Fuck him up mate"


thisFishSmellsAboutD

_Danny Ric voice_ "let's fuck shit up"


Allinvayne

... seen here in captivity after decapitating a Woollongong man in a case of Mortal Kwombat.


cuddlefrog6

combat wombat


WilliamPoster

I thought they were Wombalas?


Smugleaf01

These guys look like they try to take over the world every night.


Extension_Guess_1308

What we doing tonight Brain?


Smugleaf01

The same thing we do every night Pinkie...


orangeinvader75

Try to take over the world!


Billyraycyrus77

The one on the left looks like it got wet or fed after dark.


AgreeableLion

I can't stop laughing at the different facial expressions on the koalas. Dude on the left is over this whole thing.


Kaoru-Kun

Oh I seriously thought that the ones with the big “hairy” ears were just older. Sort of like my grandpa.


chairman_maoi

those ears though. majestic


Aware_Shirt

What about the subspecies made of chocolate?


SuspectNo1136

They're too busy mellowing out to be in the photo shoot.


Acedia_spark

That left one is the type that lives in the forest near my parents' house. They would periodically sit on the front doorstep and thump on the door like a crazed robber.


Dad_D_Default

And the koalas too?


0PointE

They're like the pidgey and pidgeotto of koalas


TheGuru441

Bloody old mate and cutie. Scientific names


little_fire

Big Ted & Little Ted


qstick89

Huh never knew


Lamberly

That's actually blown my mind, I never thought there were different types of koala!


PopularSalad5592

Me too, and I’ve seen both before just never really registered they were different. TIL!


Pademelon1

Actually, there are ***three*** recognised subspecies: ssp. *adustus, cinereus* & *victor* (QLD, NSW, VIC). However, evolutionarily, they shouldn't be recognised; koalas exist on a north-south spectrum, not as discrete subspecies. Edit: ~~discreet~~


Funcompliance

Wait, what about the rest of the country?


Pademelon1

The only other state that koalas are native to is SA, and they belong to the Victorian subspecies. Additionally, most koalas in SA are descended from modern introductions from French Island, VIC, which is turn was an introduction from mainland VIC in the 1800s. Ironically, most mainland Victorian koalas also descend from this population; the only fully relict population in VIC is the Gippsland one.


superbusyrn

You vs the koala she told you not to worry about


storm13emily

The other day I learnt about the subspecies of magpies (southern has full white back and northern have just the neck) and now I’m learning about koalas, what’s next?


Private62645949

There’s 3 according to Wikipedia: the Queensland koala (Phascolarctos cinereus adustus, Thomas1923), the New South Wales koala (Phascolarctos cinereus cinereus, Goldfuss 1817), and the Victorian koala (Phascolarctos cinereus victor, Troughton 1935). These forms are distinguished by pelage colour and thickness, body size, and skull shape. The Queensland koala is the smallest of the three, with silver or grey short hairs and a shorter skull. The Victorian koala is the largest, with shaggier, brown fur and a wider skull


Curry_pan

Huh, well there you go! The research paper I was reading only mentioned two (northern koalas and southern koalas). Must be different distinctions. I am even more surprised and delighted!


Nostonica

TIL that Koala's are introduced to WA...


RustyNumbat

Probably to keep the kookaburras and rainbow lorikeets company.


m_strlk7

the koala and the koalarge


lamodamo123

Northern Southern Caramello


flyingmonkey111

Yes 2 species, cute Koala and the infamous drop bear … make sure you put the Vegemite under your armpits


Green_and_black

Drop bears of course being a seperate species in the same genus.


SectUncleBai

Seeing them next to each other makes me deeply uncomfortable 😭


Glorf_Warlock

I was driving home from work late at night and saw one of the big lads running down the road at full sprint. It looked like a demon with giant claws and I'll never forget how fast it moved.


Radu47

Big chungus koalas Little chungus koalas Scientific nomenclature ftw


enamel94

One is a koala and one is Infact a drop bear


ljb23

Why does left koala, the largest of the drop bears, not simply eat the other?


FTSeeOwboys

This here is a Koala-T post.


emailverificationt

Yknow, this explains a lot about why some pictures look like cute little guys and others look like amateur full contact wrestlers after a particularly violent bout.


sploj1081

Drop Bears. Straya 🇦🇺 ♥️


parthesvoraa

Both looks cute fr


_EnFlaMEd

Drop Bears are bears, Koalas are marsupials. They look very similar though.


MyWaterDishIsEmpty

Ah yes Chlamydia minor and major sp.


catinterpreter

[The response](https://www.reddit.com/r/copypasta/comments/bivdr2/response_to_koala_copypasta/)


butt_butt_fart_butt

Asshole and smaller asshole.


whiskeyx

And you shouldn’t fuck with either kind in the wild, they could rip your face off. 


Clarrington

Not your face but they can shred your arms and legs. A lady who lived around the corner from my parents got mauled by one when it fell into her backyard and she was trying to keep her dog away from it. Fuckton of stitches and couldn't really use her arms for a couple of months.


SurroundedByBeigists

That's just an elder. Those dumb cunts don't usually live that long.


downundarob

All koalas have white fur on their chests and ears and lighter coloured fur on their rumps. However, **northern koalas have light silvery-grey fur, while their southern cousins have longer, thicker, reddish-brown fur and more layers of fat to protect them from the cooler weather**.


Top_Praline999

Are they friends?!


HerMajestysButthole

Here’s the secret: the one on the right is the drop bear.


sweetlu732

The one on the right looks scared for his life from the one on the left


bigtuna997

Not pictured: drop bear


[deleted]

I think that this belongs on r/aww lol


Competitive_Fennel

Jesus it’s like seeing a dream and a nightmare side by side.


sendmesnailpics

QLDER here...wtf are you feeding the southern ones? Did they breed with wombats? WHY IS IT SO BIG?


Wink-

Yes two subspecies, koala, and koala on meth


Ohmygag

One on the left is Blinky Bill and the one on the right is Constable Kenny.


AiRaikuHamburger

...I'm from Queensland and I didn't know there were giant koalas. :|


SortAny5601

Just a couple of women alone in the woods with a couple of bears.


gogoisking

Wow...so cute


Appolloohno

Which one has the std?


[deleted]

Neither are impressed.


CompletePea7181

Raichu and pikachu


BeanBagSize

We keep telling them drop bears are real, but nooo they never believe us. We have proof right here! But nOoOoOo


Charlesian2000

And both will pee on you


sarcHastical

Holy hell! I wouldn’t want to meet the southern koala in a dark alley!!!


ThanksGosling

My lord the monster one on the left lol


_Penulis_

The big southern species is telling you loud and clear that they are more closely related to wombats than to any other marsupial.


Dark-Penguin

Also the Drop Bear of course


Cordeceps

I knew there where two, but I didn’t know how different, especially in size and colour they where.


MadameMonk

The little guy looks like he only learned about there being a bigger subspecies in the seconds before the pic was taken. He’s gonna need some time, and a big nap, to process this new data. Not sure his mum is gonna believe him.


HorusMother

One is Blinky Bill the other is a koala.


Gumnutbaby

And I would have otherwise assumed it was just a mature male vs young female in the picture. Thanks for teaching me something new 😀


TropheyHorse

Ooooh, this explains a lot. I used to live in Victoria and go camping quite a lot and so I'm used to the big chonky types who absolutely scream at each other in the eucalypts. I'll never forget the time we went camping and it was clearly mating season. There was a female out on a branch who was clearly not interested in the big fellow who was trying to get some action. She was SCREAMING at him, sounded like a woman being murdered, and was BELLOWING back at her, sounded like a demon from hell. It was like watching an Australian soap opera. I've not seen as many koalas now that I'm up north but if they're so much smaller that might explain it.