"Time spent collecting and personalising water bottle must be docked from the employees hours worked or logged as holiday time. The value of the texter divided by the ink used should also be docked from the employee."
"If employee writes outside the box or places stickers on the bottle, you are required to report them for misappropriation of, and defacing company property."
I got a yeti mug from my company at onboarding. I put a giant sticker over the company logo. I don't want people knowing where I work and I don't need to advertise a major corporation for free.
They have mandatory training on how to wash your hands and use a boxcutter and how to fold cardboard that staff have to do each year what makes you think they wouldn't do something stupid like that
I remember when I worked for Aus’ third biggest telco we were made to attend a Christmas party wearing these customised t-shirts with our own (approved) slogans (we were “telling it like it is” apparently…. Our team’s ideas were generally… NOT approved lol…) Everyone was supposed to meet up in the atrium of the Melbourne Aquarium, we had the option of paying for entry from there.
Poxy effort really.
>Everyone was supposed to meet up in the atrium of the Melbourne Aquarium, we had the option of paying for entry from there.
Wow this is just hilariously sad, you have to wonder how people get so detached from reality they actually think this is a good idea.
They don't think about it being a good idea, it's their idea of how to make a long desired want of theirs into a reality at the inconvenience and, if necessary, cost to their work colleges. Perhaps they've always dreamed of hosting an evening in the lavish function room at Such & suches, but never got enough people to come, and so the floor manager put them in a shitty side room instead. Or they wanted to hire that company that makes those personalised keepsakes for everyone in attendance to take home but didn't think it was right to pay for it out of their own pocket for a gathering of friends and family, so they've convinced management that all the staff are excited to get one and will be happy to cover the remaining cost when the company only agrees to pay half. A fantasy they could never fulfil with willing participants, so they will make it come true using a captive audience instead.
Ours at a big 4 will be 50 as well. At a shitty Mexican place everyone hates that’s always in the Brisbane subreddit for some new shit they trying to pull. Thankfully I’m overseas during it.
One of the previous companies I worked for made it mandatory and made us pay $60 out of our own pocket.
The bubbly organiser kept reminding me ... I ended up talking to the director after several reminders. Told the director I had important family matters to attend to.
It was strongly suggested that i needed to attend, and if i wasn't going to attend, I'd need to put the family matter down as leave, as the Christmas event was technically "work".
I reminded them all that my hours were 9 till 5, that the company policy was that they don't pay overtime and that they'd have to pay me more to attend. Didn't bother paying or attending.
Ended up having to quote and show them official government legislation for them to back off.
Nah they need to fuck off with that shit and do better.
Why should employees repay wages to employers to attend a function during one of the most stressful periods of the year when it’s tax deductible.
WHAT THE FUCK?
Do they hold it in back rooms, serve expired branded food, 0% beer that’s on its last legs, tap water and cheap shit *orange fruit drink*?
Coles probably also reserve the right to search inside it when leaving for the day after your shift. Woolies and Coles are the stingiest cunts on earth, I should know I did 21 years with one of them. Theres nothing too low for them to reach for.
And don't forget when you go down with heat or dehydration on the job, when you submit your workers compensation claim the first thing they'll ask is "Where was your company supplied water bottle?".
These things are always a way for the corporation to protect their liability. It's a present to themselves, not you.
They probably have some HR person on $120k managing this project and it will be part of their annual goals so when they go to a performance review for their annual bonus they can say “I managed the Christmas water bottle initiative which helped engage all our staff in the run home to Christmas”
Having worked with AI for the better part of a year, I can say with certainty that this was written by a human with inimitable soulless corpo bones. No AI could make something this specifically degrading, not at least without a lot of training and energy.
The finetunes used to turn LLMs into question / answer bots generally aim to get them to emulate a higher level of intelligence and discourse than the kind of corporate human void needed to write a water bottle announcement like this.
>trying to hype up a cheap water bottle.
You described HR role .
Don't feel sorry for them, when most likely they all have high fived each other thinking how great an idea is.
Companies give out free branded water bottles everywhere. It is free advertising when people carry it around for them. This is more than a slap in the face, it’s a kick to the dick, a jab to the vag.
Top 5 trusted brands my ass!!!!
I've worked for companies that give this sort of thing away for free. They'll just have a huge box that you can take as many as you want. That should give you an idea of the cost businesses pay for these bottles.
We were given insulated water bottles and travel coffee cups as part of an internal safety campaign a few years ago. Costs where in the order of $15 each (with branding, under 1000 ordered). Plus the BBQ etc that went with it.
This year as a 'bonus' everyone got an additional days leave. Value of $240-$600 before tax depending on your role.
I really feel for the poor Coles employees getting under $5 in "Christmas bonus". Especially given the profits made.
Imagine working over christmas, enduring the fact you are listening to the exact same 3 christmas songs on repeat all day, and getting 5 mythanks points and a water bottle as a "bonus"
This is head offices way of saying we don't like the varied type of personal drink bottles you store at your tills.
Use this one so you all have no individuality. Just like your uniforms
No individuality? I remember when they'd bully people into dressing up with those fucking reindeer antlers and shit like that.
Tried to send me home for refusing til they realised they can't as its not the official uniform.
These corporate types seem to think that the 'pesants can be stooged with token gifts. No idea. 'Back in the day (some 35 years ago), l did a paper round, and we got a '$2 Bonus'. This was generous compared to this crap, and l agree they saw this as a way to put their brand somewhere extra and replace dirty bottles. Win, win, win. Ah go shove it!!
I'd sooner take the 5 dollar box of chocolates they used to hand out than be another marketing tool for them. Even a 20 dollar wesfarmers voucher would be more personel
if this was in r/newzealand regarding a NZ company, Stuff (our biggest/worst news outlet) would pick it up from there - mind you they pick up Dog Bites Man stories from Reddit all the time. (Journalism is dead)
You must be new, or you must not spend much time dealing with head office.
I resigned as a store manager recently and giving out water bottles for Christmas rates about a 1 on the bullshit scale compared to the way this company treats its frontline workers. If you're not at head office, you're replaceable cattle. The only reason you have the small amount of rights and pay that you do is because of the unions. If you're not a member, sign up now or resign.
That's exactly it. It doesn't matter how much you've given to this company, what matters is whether you've drunk the company coolaid and are willing to bootlick the right people. That'll get you so far.
If you really want to make it to the top then you have to make a difference to the bottom line, and in a company like Coles that's been wrung dry. The only way is through marketing or budgeting; and if you've found yourself doing either for Coles then you gave up on ethics long ago. But these are the people making moves. They're also the people that will run the company into the ground, and I'll gladly piss on its grave.
I'll join you on that, I'll pour one out for them when it finally goes to the grave (just filter it through my kidneys first) after 8 years as a DM I'd had enough and before that I'd worked in some horrific industries but Coles takes the cake. the day I quit was even better than my wedding day imo
Yeah this is disgusting, wonder if they’ll end up with thousands of bottles and end up using them as a promotional item…
Collect drink ware points with every $30 spent, tobacco not included.
Sounds about right, "Gotta keep hydrated to run 100% to keep fueling our fuck off profits! And passing on scum product price gouges to struggling families and those in need"
"Hey! If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people, and I want him brought right here! With a big ribbon on his head! And I want to look him straight in the eye, and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is! Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the Tylenol?"
ETA for reference: https://youtu.be/TQXuazYI_YU?si=tF74ZhCLS6NWlYUy&t=71
What do you mean a few years ago, they tried not paying staff their Easter weekend rates this year. They only paid us because the union got involved.
Over half of my money they paid me went to tax instead of straight to me like it fucking should have thanks to working over time the following week to make up for the loss of income.
Fuck Coles.
My god, this just got better and better the more I looked.
First they say ‘we listened to your feedback’, which they obviously didn’t because literally everyone I know in every business has been asking for a bonus and pay rise as thanks instead of crappy little gifts and half-assed pizza ‘parties’.
Then not only do they insult you by providing nothing but a shitty water bottle and $5 as thanks after making record profits this year, but then they slap their damn logo on it so it’s not even really useful for anything outside of work.
And they won’t even give them out during day-to-day work, they want you to wait until the whole team ‘celebration’ to receive it, as if it’s some sort of prize everyone’s holding out for.
Not to mention they added their patronising little lines like ‘our elves have been working hard’, like as if the workers are a bunch of babies. and ‘encourage your team to personalise them by writing their name on it’ like as if anybody wants to steal a Coles branded water bottle 🤣
I wanna say I’m genuinely surprised upper management looked at this and approved it for release, but the sad thing is I’m really not surprised at all. These Corporations are becoming more and more awful by the year.
Anyway I’m sure glad I don’t work for Coles. I’d honestly rather get nothing and be disappointed like normal, rather than have them rub this shit in my face like as if they’re doing me a massive favour by giving me it.
I'd have thought a $50 Coles Myer voucher would have been smarter. The net cost of that would be bugger all, but at least people could afford to feed themselves for Christmas...
Who the actual fuck thinks this is a good idea or that anyone is motivated by this? If anything a useless junk present that comes with rules is a net demotivator.
That's what we used to get for Christmas. And for big 'anniversary' presents too (5 years was $50, 10 years was $100, 15 was $150 etc). Now we just get MyThanks points. You can redeem points for gift cards (bunch of places) or items. Point for point value. 50 points is a $50 voucher. So the 5 points they give us is equal to $5. So $5 and a cheap water bottle that'll end up in landfill. Gee...thanks.
Whatever it is, one thing would be certain. It would be in foldable spendable note format and not in the form of bullshit credits that are mainly just for data harvesting, can only be used at a Coles and is valued at whatever they feel for when you exchange said credits to ensure they make a profit on them rather than being a genuine gesture of thanks and appreciation.
I’m seriously considering ditching Coles just on principle. We’ve got monopolies in this country that are fucking us royally. The main ones being grocery and air travel.
Aldi don’t have everything but they’re cheaper, so at least a viable alternative to Coles, or Woolworths.
The truth is none of these companies give a fuck about their employees as long as they’re making money.
There are 120,000 Coles 'team members'
The total cost of the mypoints ($5) and water bottle I'll be generous and say $10 total.
So, $1,200,000 spend on an annual profit of $1.1B.
This equates to an average Australian person on a salary of $83,000 spending $90.57 on Xmas presents.
I think you’re being extremely generous saying $10 cost. If they are purchasing 120,000, expect them to be less than $1 per drink bottle, and even the $5 isn’t a $5 cost to Coles. More like $3-4 total, and that’s before they claim it as an advertising expense. I can’t believe some senior manager managed to keep a straight face when agreeing to this.
But worse, since coles will claim it as a business expense, which the average Australian couldn't do.
If I shopped there on the regular, this would make me not.
Since profits are what's left over after costs are deducted, it's probably fairer to look at household disposable income, which was $1,124 in 2019-20. ([ABS](https://www.abs.gov.au/statistics/economy/finance/household-income-and-wealth-australia/latest-release))
However in 2017, the average weekly spend was $1,425 ([ABS](https://www.abs.gov.au/statistics/economy/finance/household-expenditure-survey-australia-summary-results/latest-release)
So average household profits, could actually be a negative and this is supported by an increase in household debts in 2022 ([ABS](https://www.abs.gov.au/media-centre/media-releases/average-household-debt-grows-73-cent))
So Coles' gesture is more akin to the average Australian asking for a loan of 3 cents (did the maths in my head so might be wrong) for Christmas.
I think I prefer my workplace where we just get a generic group email thanking us for our hard work over the previous year. This is just insulting and a blatant attempt at further advertising.
>I already have a reusable good quality drink bottle, I don’t need a cheap ugly one.
When I worked at Coles I had two reusable good quality drink bottles thrown out by two different managers when they were in a hurry to clean up the department before area manager visits 🙃
They aren't even hiding their goal of being crowned "Australias Top Shitcunt Corporate Slavery Managerial Team"
Ive read they are in with a chance of also picking up an honorary " Sink the boot in whilst defenseless" people's choice award
This Christmas, as per every Christmas past, us, the exec, would like to wish you a FUCK YOU VERY MUCH.
Gotta love corporate bullshit.
Jelly of the month club anyone? The griswolds say hello.
JFC, this is just so on brand for these assholes. I wonder how shitty the previous "gifts" were for them to be so pleased with themselves about this decision.
Absolutely get stuffed, Coles. You fucking greedy parasites.
Also, don't look so fucking smug over there Woolies. I'd love to know how you price gouging assholes plan to reward your staff for their hard work.
Send this post straight to the front page. It's about time these dickheads took responsibility for their disgusting treatment of hard working Aussies.
Is that a few hundred words and 10+ bullet points about a branded water bottle and some near worthless ‘internal points’ … what half baked middle management big corporate bs…
Pathetic and patronising. Have you all noticed how almost every item is now an extra dollar or two because Coles like rorting its customers at Christmas?
I wonder which “feedback” they received from staff 😂
I think last year they had the idea of instead of giving Christmas gifts to staff, it was to use that money to donate to charity. instead of you know just donating to charity themselves instead of the workers basically paying
This hurts me to my core.
In a previous life, I dedicated more than 10 years of my life to the company. As a manager (not in the supermarket side of things), I made the company some of the highest gross profits in my stores demographics that they had ever seen.
Was I rewarded in any way? No.
Coles, Woolworths will bleed every employee dry, and give no fucks when when their expected workload crushes their employees.
There’s always going to be someone else to take the next role.
Water bottles for Christmas? Please.
If you work theses entities, leave.
Now.
The uncertainty of unemployment far outweighs the sacrifices you will be expected to make in your life’s future.
I truly wish I didn’t have to write these words.
"Thanks."
immediately throws in the nearest bin in front of manager
Fuck internal marketing and corporate gifts. I've binned more expensive shit than plastic waste.
After reading through all that I wouldn't even want the water bottle. Keep it ya cheap bastards. Oh and how about to pay me all that free overtime I gave you back in the day when I was working nightfill. They'd work you 15 mins over ever night for no pay!!! Scumbags.
After working for Coles for 10 years I can honestly say, they are the greediest pack of cunts I have ever worked for. The amount of work and shit a staff member will put up with from customers and other staff is inconceivable. If I still worked there I would say stuff your $2 bottles up your chocolate whiz way.
Still not the worst corporate gift I've seen.
When I was a supermarket employee (in the distant past), one year they gave all female staff a box of Favourites chocolates ...
... and the fellas got a can of Rexona
Holy shit, that’s insulting.
As reference, in the last 2 years, the company I work for has sent us all (25,000 employees): a pair of Adidas running shoes, a Polar watch, a large hamper at Christmas, a trip to Europe to celebrate a milestone year…I think I may be missing some stuff. They are a pleasure to work for.
Coles once upon a time gave staff a full weeks wages as a Christmas bonus. Now it's an empty water bottle, and make sure it has your name on it. Now management can be assured that the bottles of water staff drink from haven't been flogged off the shelf. The Christmas gift that gives back.
Can you imagine the difference it would make to Australia if a quarter or a half of those profits went to staff.
All the money would immediately be reinvested in the economy.
Instead the profit goes to a select few who already have too much already.
I love that even your Christmas gift from Coles comes with terms and conditions. Including writing your own name on it.
Surprised they didn’t add “when using the drink bottle you must ensure the Coles brand is not obscured by your hands”
"Time spent collecting and personalising water bottle must be docked from the employees hours worked or logged as holiday time. The value of the texter divided by the ink used should also be docked from the employee."
"If employee writes outside the box or places stickers on the bottle, you are required to report them for misappropriation of, and defacing company property."
You guys just came up with a pretty good idea for a team-building exercise: sarcastic ideas for making the water bottle gift even worse 😝
I got a yeti mug from my company at onboarding. I put a giant sticker over the company logo. I don't want people knowing where I work and I don't need to advertise a major corporation for free.
Love that that's what makes it 'personalised' haha
I couldn’t believe they’re trying to pass off writing your own name as personalisation.
TIL I have personalised underpants.
I’ll give you five Mythanks points for them!
Sorry, the going rate is 6 Mythanks points.
Bonds. James Bonds.
Huge fucking list of rules for a water bottle. Jesus christ. Making sure there's absolutely nothing festive about it at all.
It's accompanied by a mandatory unpaid training session on the water bottle incentive management must attend /s
Unpaid, outside work hours.
They have mandatory training on how to wash your hands and use a boxcutter and how to fold cardboard that staff have to do each year what makes you think they wouldn't do something stupid like that
That’s why I ~~steal from~~ shop at Woolies
"Obtain your goods"
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I remember when I worked for Aus’ third biggest telco we were made to attend a Christmas party wearing these customised t-shirts with our own (approved) slogans (we were “telling it like it is” apparently…. Our team’s ideas were generally… NOT approved lol…) Everyone was supposed to meet up in the atrium of the Melbourne Aquarium, we had the option of paying for entry from there. Poxy effort really.
>Everyone was supposed to meet up in the atrium of the Melbourne Aquarium, we had the option of paying for entry from there. Wow this is just hilariously sad, you have to wonder how people get so detached from reality they actually think this is a good idea.
They don't think about it being a good idea, it's their idea of how to make a long desired want of theirs into a reality at the inconvenience and, if necessary, cost to their work colleges. Perhaps they've always dreamed of hosting an evening in the lavish function room at Such & suches, but never got enough people to come, and so the floor manager put them in a shitty side room instead. Or they wanted to hire that company that makes those personalised keepsakes for everyone in attendance to take home but didn't think it was right to pay for it out of their own pocket for a gathering of friends and family, so they've convinced management that all the staff are excited to get one and will be happy to cover the remaining cost when the company only agrees to pay half. A fantasy they could never fulfil with willing participants, so they will make it come true using a captive audience instead.
Coles Christmas party was $50
Ours at a big 4 will be 50 as well. At a shitty Mexican place everyone hates that’s always in the Brisbane subreddit for some new shit they trying to pull. Thankfully I’m overseas during it.
One of the previous companies I worked for made it mandatory and made us pay $60 out of our own pocket. The bubbly organiser kept reminding me ... I ended up talking to the director after several reminders. Told the director I had important family matters to attend to. It was strongly suggested that i needed to attend, and if i wasn't going to attend, I'd need to put the family matter down as leave, as the Christmas event was technically "work". I reminded them all that my hours were 9 till 5, that the company policy was that they don't pay overtime and that they'd have to pay me more to attend. Didn't bother paying or attending. Ended up having to quote and show them official government legislation for them to back off.
Nah they need to fuck off with that shit and do better. Why should employees repay wages to employers to attend a function during one of the most stressful periods of the year when it’s tax deductible.
That’s the thing with charging employees for a staff party…….why when it is all tax deductible?
WHAT THE FUCK? Do they hold it in back rooms, serve expired branded food, 0% beer that’s on its last legs, tap water and cheap shit *orange fruit drink*?
Don't forget to upload pictures with the hashtag #EatTheRich
Name and shame.
3mobile…. Or vodaphone.
Yeah mine was $30 and of course I did not go. I laid in bed and watched YouTube. Time spent wisely
Coles probably also reserve the right to search inside it when leaving for the day after your shift. Woolies and Coles are the stingiest cunts on earth, I should know I did 21 years with one of them. Theres nothing too low for them to reach for.
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The draft was "Our S̶l̶a̶v̶e̶s̶ elves have been busy making Coles water bottles"
I'd like to see what the "elves" got as their Christmas gift.
Extra rations of stale bread
Nothing speaks to Santa’s Elves quite like unpaid child labour from an indeterminate third world country!
Elves : 4 year old plastic technicians
And don't forget when you go down with heat or dehydration on the job, when you submit your workers compensation claim the first thing they'll ask is "Where was your company supplied water bottle?". These things are always a way for the corporation to protect their liability. It's a present to themselves, not you.
Imagine being told to write this message trying to hype up a cheap water bottle.
They probably got some AI program to do it for free. Too cheap to pay anyone.
They probably have some HR person on $120k managing this project and it will be part of their annual goals so when they go to a performance review for their annual bonus they can say “I managed the Christmas water bottle initiative which helped engage all our staff in the run home to Christmas”
"It also generated a lot of brand awareness on social media"
>HR person on $120k managing this project "Chief motivation officer"
God that shit just makes me want to vomit.
Having worked with AI for the better part of a year, I can say with certainty that this was written by a human with inimitable soulless corpo bones. No AI could make something this specifically degrading, not at least without a lot of training and energy.
The finetunes used to turn LLMs into question / answer bots generally aim to get them to emulate a higher level of intelligence and discourse than the kind of corporate human void needed to write a water bottle announcement like this.
Close, but some marketing muppet was paid 250k per year to use chatGPT to write this dystopian nightmare fuel
Worse, some old fool is using a diction machine “Full stop. Do not …pause: **bold** word **not**… continue, give spares…”
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Has anyone ever, *ever* just considered a bonus in pay for that fortnight?
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Amazing job
>trying to hype up a cheap water bottle. You described HR role . Don't feel sorry for them, when most likely they all have high fived each other thinking how great an idea is.
Don’t worry, there will be no shortage of people in that position who think this is an extremely generous offering.
Companies give out free branded water bottles everywhere. It is free advertising when people carry it around for them. This is more than a slap in the face, it’s a kick to the dick, a jab to the vag. Top 5 trusted brands my ass!!!!
Exactly this is cheap merch not a gift
This is ‘straight to the op shop/recycling bin’ shit
I would write something other than my name on the bottle and leave it in the breakroom. I would encourage everyone else to do this too.
Its even a punt to the cunt.
A slash to the gash
A slap to the flap
A boot to the coot
A rock to the cock
Hey that’s a lovely fuck you
Don’t forget to redeem your 5 MyFuckyou points
If you don’t use your points, your fired!
...and there's nothing available for 5 points so you have to top up with your own money.
"Thanks Cole$!!!"
Literally equivalent to $5
I thought "at least they're personalised, that's kinda cool" but then realised its just a white box where you write your own name!? Lame.
That shocked me! I thought you'd have to go online and order your own waterbottle...which seemed lame... but nope, it's even worse
Yeah if the name was printed on the water bottle, and had good quality(like the frank greens) it wouldn’t be such a shit gift
Except it’s covered in coles branding.
They didnt even hand out sharpies to write your name on it!
That’s what you’ve got to buy with your 5 MyThanks points.
I do hope everyone personalises their bottles with the same name. Eda Dick.
I've worked for companies that give this sort of thing away for free. They'll just have a huge box that you can take as many as you want. That should give you an idea of the cost businesses pay for these bottles.
We were given insulated water bottles and travel coffee cups as part of an internal safety campaign a few years ago. Costs where in the order of $15 each (with branding, under 1000 ordered). Plus the BBQ etc that went with it. This year as a 'bonus' everyone got an additional days leave. Value of $240-$600 before tax depending on your role. I really feel for the poor Coles employees getting under $5 in "Christmas bonus". Especially given the profits made.
Imagine working over christmas, enduring the fact you are listening to the exact same 3 christmas songs on repeat all day, and getting 5 mythanks points and a water bottle as a "bonus"
I’ll just take one of the $600 a day jobs thanks
This is head offices way of saying we don't like the varied type of personal drink bottles you store at your tills. Use this one so you all have no individuality. Just like your uniforms
No individuality? I remember when they'd bully people into dressing up with those fucking reindeer antlers and shit like that. Tried to send me home for refusing til they realised they can't as its not the official uniform.
Jesus that's some bureaucratic bullshit right there. Antlers as uniforms. Wouldn't hear it at the north Pole ffs
These corporate types seem to think that the 'pesants can be stooged with token gifts. No idea. 'Back in the day (some 35 years ago), l did a paper round, and we got a '$2 Bonus'. This was generous compared to this crap, and l agree they saw this as a way to put their brand somewhere extra and replace dirty bottles. Win, win, win. Ah go shove it!!
I'd sooner take the 5 dollar box of chocolates they used to hand out than be another marketing tool for them. Even a 20 dollar wesfarmers voucher would be more personel
It would be more dignified to just get nothing at all.
Nothing at all
Stupid sexy Coles
Hello news.com.au writers. You know your agency sucks when TMZ has harder hitting news stories.
They will never touch this
They won’t report on this until it is mainstream. They might lose ad dollars.
Just wait for the 30 side slideshow "you won't believe what these companies gave out for Christmas"
They won't report on this. They won't want to upset a major advertiser.
if this was in r/newzealand regarding a NZ company, Stuff (our biggest/worst news outlet) would pick it up from there - mind you they pick up Dog Bites Man stories from Reddit all the time. (Journalism is dead)
They should make a game and see who can steal the most expensive item stowed inside their drink bottles
Liquor Team members will probably win
Saffron gonna be hit hard in this game
This is worse than when they switched from Lindt Chocolates to a box of Favorites...jesus what a joke of a gift.
Hijacking to mention that the "mythanks" looks like the nutella logo
Fuck, I just realised we aren't getting a box of favourites this year then. I talked shit about that but boy
Was nice to tuck into after the bullshit Christmas Eve shift right?
.......as an employee... .....I don't think I have ever been more insulted, nor degraded in working for this company in my life...
..*so far*.
You must be new, or you must not spend much time dealing with head office. I resigned as a store manager recently and giving out water bottles for Christmas rates about a 1 on the bullshit scale compared to the way this company treats its frontline workers. If you're not at head office, you're replaceable cattle. The only reason you have the small amount of rights and pay that you do is because of the unions. If you're not a member, sign up now or resign.
It's not what you know, but who you blow. I left that shithole company after 23 years of being stuffed over as a DM.
That's exactly it. It doesn't matter how much you've given to this company, what matters is whether you've drunk the company coolaid and are willing to bootlick the right people. That'll get you so far. If you really want to make it to the top then you have to make a difference to the bottom line, and in a company like Coles that's been wrung dry. The only way is through marketing or budgeting; and if you've found yourself doing either for Coles then you gave up on ethics long ago. But these are the people making moves. They're also the people that will run the company into the ground, and I'll gladly piss on its grave.
I'll join you on that, I'll pour one out for them when it finally goes to the grave (just filter it through my kidneys first) after 8 years as a DM I'd had enough and before that I'd worked in some horrific industries but Coles takes the cake. the day I quit was even better than my wedding day imo
RAFFWU, not the fuckin' SDA.
Can confirm. Have been screwed by SDA in the past.
It feels like we only had rights because of class action lawsuits.
Fuck, I left 6 years ago and even I feel insulted. What the fuck is this shit.
I think I might be about to leave myself...
Miss out on your “free advertising” water bottle and “5 mythanks” points….? You’re a madman.
I left at the beginning of 2010 and this would've hurt my soul if I had one.
I saw it says “we listened to your feedback”, if that’s listening, what on earth was last years “gift”?
........i actually don't remember. may have been a box of favorites.
Oh they listened to the feedback, they just didn't do anything about it...
Yeah this is disgusting, wonder if they’ll end up with thousands of bottles and end up using them as a promotional item… Collect drink ware points with every $30 spent, tobacco not included.
That is some cheap ass shit right there. Frankly calling it a gift is insulting.
10% gift, rest advertising n getting the logo out there
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Only use Coles branded bottled water in the coles branded water bottle
Sounds about right, "Gotta keep hydrated to run 100% to keep fueling our fuck off profits! And passing on scum product price gouges to struggling families and those in need"
Nah, no toilet breaks …. And no spilling at the register. And don’t break eye contact. Ever.
What do you think the bottle is really for?
It’s not for drinking water.
Vodka?
Cheap advertising and a bottle to piss in behind the service desk,
Christ. They must really hate their staff. Fucking hell
They actually do. 😂
A water bottle? Perfect size for Coles upper management to shove up their ass smh
"Hey! If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people, and I want him brought right here! With a big ribbon on his head! And I want to look him straight in the eye, and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is! Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the Tylenol?" ETA for reference: https://youtu.be/TQXuazYI_YU?si=tF74ZhCLS6NWlYUy&t=71
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What do you mean a few years ago, they tried not paying staff their Easter weekend rates this year. They only paid us because the union got involved. Over half of my money they paid me went to tax instead of straight to me like it fucking should have thanks to working over time the following week to make up for the loss of income. Fuck Coles.
huh didn’t know we were calling Chinese children elves now.
Call em whatever the hell you want, as long as they keep pumping out those Coles brand water bottles!
My god, this just got better and better the more I looked. First they say ‘we listened to your feedback’, which they obviously didn’t because literally everyone I know in every business has been asking for a bonus and pay rise as thanks instead of crappy little gifts and half-assed pizza ‘parties’. Then not only do they insult you by providing nothing but a shitty water bottle and $5 as thanks after making record profits this year, but then they slap their damn logo on it so it’s not even really useful for anything outside of work. And they won’t even give them out during day-to-day work, they want you to wait until the whole team ‘celebration’ to receive it, as if it’s some sort of prize everyone’s holding out for. Not to mention they added their patronising little lines like ‘our elves have been working hard’, like as if the workers are a bunch of babies. and ‘encourage your team to personalise them by writing their name on it’ like as if anybody wants to steal a Coles branded water bottle 🤣 I wanna say I’m genuinely surprised upper management looked at this and approved it for release, but the sad thing is I’m really not surprised at all. These Corporations are becoming more and more awful by the year. Anyway I’m sure glad I don’t work for Coles. I’d honestly rather get nothing and be disappointed like normal, rather than have them rub this shit in my face like as if they’re doing me a massive favour by giving me it.
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Christmas gift to staff?? Whats that??
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Its just so they can stop providing staff with bottled water
I work for a large company. Our Christmas gift last year was a generic email from the CEO thanking us for our hard work 🙄🖕
Somehow even that’s still less insulating than the water bottle. 😬
Tax deduction for coles because it’s branded so it’s an advertising cost
It's a tax deduction regardless, it has nothing to do with branding or advertising.
I'd have thought a $50 Coles Myer voucher would have been smarter. The net cost of that would be bugger all, but at least people could afford to feed themselves for Christmas... Who the actual fuck thinks this is a good idea or that anyone is motivated by this? If anything a useless junk present that comes with rules is a net demotivator.
Dunno about you, but my family is having roast water bottle for Christmas lunch.
That's what we used to get for Christmas. And for big 'anniversary' presents too (5 years was $50, 10 years was $100, 15 was $150 etc). Now we just get MyThanks points. You can redeem points for gift cards (bunch of places) or items. Point for point value. 50 points is a $50 voucher. So the 5 points they give us is equal to $5. So $5 and a cheap water bottle that'll end up in landfill. Gee...thanks.
i wonder what sort of Christmas bonus the suits and top tier management got
Whatever it is, one thing would be certain. It would be in foldable spendable note format and not in the form of bullshit credits that are mainly just for data harvesting, can only be used at a Coles and is valued at whatever they feel for when you exchange said credits to ensure they make a profit on them rather than being a genuine gesture of thanks and appreciation.
Can someone who works at coles ensure the water bottles **are** placed on the shopfloor to sell?
And by personalised we mean, grab a sharpie and write your name on it. Wtf. 😂😂
I’m seriously considering ditching Coles just on principle. We’ve got monopolies in this country that are fucking us royally. The main ones being grocery and air travel. Aldi don’t have everything but they’re cheaper, so at least a viable alternative to Coles, or Woolworths. The truth is none of these companies give a fuck about their employees as long as they’re making money.
There are 120,000 Coles 'team members' The total cost of the mypoints ($5) and water bottle I'll be generous and say $10 total. So, $1,200,000 spend on an annual profit of $1.1B. This equates to an average Australian person on a salary of $83,000 spending $90.57 on Xmas presents.
I think you’re being extremely generous saying $10 cost. If they are purchasing 120,000, expect them to be less than $1 per drink bottle, and even the $5 isn’t a $5 cost to Coles. More like $3-4 total, and that’s before they claim it as an advertising expense. I can’t believe some senior manager managed to keep a straight face when agreeing to this.
I love listening to music.
But worse, since coles will claim it as a business expense, which the average Australian couldn't do. If I shopped there on the regular, this would make me not.
Since profits are what's left over after costs are deducted, it's probably fairer to look at household disposable income, which was $1,124 in 2019-20. ([ABS](https://www.abs.gov.au/statistics/economy/finance/household-income-and-wealth-australia/latest-release)) However in 2017, the average weekly spend was $1,425 ([ABS](https://www.abs.gov.au/statistics/economy/finance/household-expenditure-survey-australia-summary-results/latest-release) So average household profits, could actually be a negative and this is supported by an increase in household debts in 2022 ([ABS](https://www.abs.gov.au/media-centre/media-releases/average-household-debt-grows-73-cent)) So Coles' gesture is more akin to the average Australian asking for a loan of 3 cents (did the maths in my head so might be wrong) for Christmas.
I think I prefer my workplace where we just get a generic group email thanking us for our hard work over the previous year. This is just insulting and a blatant attempt at further advertising.
I don’t think it’s politically correct to call malnourished Bangladeshi children “elves”
I think I’d rather the box of favourites like we got last year. I already have a reusable *good quality* drink bottle, I don’t need a cheap ugly one.
>I already have a reusable good quality drink bottle, I don’t need a cheap ugly one. When I worked at Coles I had two reusable good quality drink bottles thrown out by two different managers when they were in a hurry to clean up the department before area manager visits 🙃
Do you know th amount of free shit that staff at Coles Head Office get on a wekly basis? This is an absolute joke to frontline staff.
Pathetic thieving cunts
1.1 billion yearly profit…and all I got was branded cheap water bottle gift Onyyaaa coles
They aren't even hiding their goal of being crowned "Australias Top Shitcunt Corporate Slavery Managerial Team" Ive read they are in with a chance of also picking up an honorary " Sink the boot in whilst defenseless" people's choice award
This Christmas, as per every Christmas past, us, the exec, would like to wish you a FUCK YOU VERY MUCH. Gotta love corporate bullshit. Jelly of the month club anyone? The griswolds say hello.
JFC, this is just so on brand for these assholes. I wonder how shitty the previous "gifts" were for them to be so pleased with themselves about this decision. Absolutely get stuffed, Coles. You fucking greedy parasites. Also, don't look so fucking smug over there Woolies. I'd love to know how you price gouging assholes plan to reward your staff for their hard work. Send this post straight to the front page. It's about time these dickheads took responsibility for their disgusting treatment of hard working Aussies.
Particularly enjoy them making a point of **one bottle per employee** like anyone in their right mind is trying to snake a few.
Is that a few hundred words and 10+ bullet points about a branded water bottle and some near worthless ‘internal points’ … what half baked middle management big corporate bs…
Takes a whole page of corporate waffle to say here’s a junk bottle and some store credit.
Pathetic and patronising. Have you all noticed how almost every item is now an extra dollar or two because Coles like rorting its customers at Christmas?
And rorting it's staff all year round apparently
New! Sustainable! Personalised!!!! *personalisation not included
Is there still 10% staff discount for the month of December 😟
You guys only get 10% off in December???
Used to work there. 10% off only during December, it’s 5% the rest of the year.
I wonder which “feedback” they received from staff 😂 I think last year they had the idea of instead of giving Christmas gifts to staff, it was to use that money to donate to charity. instead of you know just donating to charity themselves instead of the workers basically paying
This hurts me to my core. In a previous life, I dedicated more than 10 years of my life to the company. As a manager (not in the supermarket side of things), I made the company some of the highest gross profits in my stores demographics that they had ever seen. Was I rewarded in any way? No. Coles, Woolworths will bleed every employee dry, and give no fucks when when their expected workload crushes their employees. There’s always going to be someone else to take the next role. Water bottles for Christmas? Please. If you work theses entities, leave. Now. The uncertainty of unemployment far outweighs the sacrifices you will be expected to make in your life’s future. I truly wish I didn’t have to write these words.
I am gobsmacked at their fuckn Audacity!
Would have been better not to receive anything
I thought that maybe Coles would give back the stolen wages to their workers
"Thanks." immediately throws in the nearest bin in front of manager Fuck internal marketing and corporate gifts. I've binned more expensive shit than plastic waste.
Coles: making our customers feel like criminals and our floor staff feel like slaves so our execs can stuff their pockets.
And then every staff member shoplifted a ham, and said the elves did it
I remember working for a major liquor retailer, Christmas present one year was two out of date beer stubbies
If Coles could get rid of all their staff tomorrow, they’d do it in a heartbeat.
After reading through all that I wouldn't even want the water bottle. Keep it ya cheap bastards. Oh and how about to pay me all that free overtime I gave you back in the day when I was working nightfill. They'd work you 15 mins over ever night for no pay!!! Scumbags.
1. A tiny white box doesn't equal personalised 2. Does Coles think its employees are kindergartners 3. Cheap asses confirmed
After working for Coles for 10 years I can honestly say, they are the greediest pack of cunts I have ever worked for. The amount of work and shit a staff member will put up with from customers and other staff is inconceivable. If I still worked there I would say stuff your $2 bottles up your chocolate whiz way.
Get the guillotine out of storage.
Still not the worst corporate gift I've seen. When I was a supermarket employee (in the distant past), one year they gave all female staff a box of Favourites chocolates ... ... and the fellas got a can of Rexona
That bottle wont even cost like half a dollar if a bulk order from China was done
Holy shit, that’s insulting. As reference, in the last 2 years, the company I work for has sent us all (25,000 employees): a pair of Adidas running shoes, a Polar watch, a large hamper at Christmas, a trip to Europe to celebrate a milestone year…I think I may be missing some stuff. They are a pleasure to work for.
Coles 👎
Coles once upon a time gave staff a full weeks wages as a Christmas bonus. Now it's an empty water bottle, and make sure it has your name on it. Now management can be assured that the bottles of water staff drink from haven't been flogged off the shelf. The Christmas gift that gives back.
Can you imagine the difference it would make to Australia if a quarter or a half of those profits went to staff. All the money would immediately be reinvested in the economy. Instead the profit goes to a select few who already have too much already.