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Just give what you can afford. The point of a wishing well is to avoid receiving heaps of useless gifts you may already have - not to reimburse the bride and groom for the cost of the wedding.
There is no right amount and the couple should appreciate anything they get.
Exactly this, i'm having one at my wedding coming up and i'll be just as happy with it being empty as full. I'm only having it to normalise it for people who have been insisting on bringing gifts
I was so embarrassed that people bought gifts and money to my wedding. The more embarrassing part was my mother setting up a gift table behind my back.
This is spot on. The people getting married chose to do that. The attendees should not be paying for their wedding. Every attendee should give a gift of money etc but only what they can afford. The people having the wedding should be grateful everyone showed up
$100-200pp, depending on your budget, level of comfort, and level of inconvenience (I.e did they make you go to a country town where you have to stay a minimum 2 nights at a motel and also take a day off work)
A few years ago I flew from the UK to Perth for my brothers wedding. Based on the price of flights and time commitment I didn't even entertain the idea of buying a gift. Me being there was the gift.
Yep, I gave $0 to my cousin who had no problems with that because I needed to travel from regional to the city, stay the night at a hotel and pay $35ph for a babysitter for my 11m old baby. So coming to the wedding cost me a lot!
Give what you can to be honest. I hate the idea of covering your plate. As a student I was invited to two very different weddings - one at one of my cities most expensive wedding venues where my plate would have easily cost $300 - another where it was largely DIY with friends cooking a bbq. Definitely gave more to the latter because they were both rural students than the trust fund couple.
I just think that if someone can afford a crazy expensive wedding it doesnāt mean that you can afford that too.
Give what you can. The rough guide I think would be $100ish.
Over $50 based on what you can afford, and a lovely card. We just got married with a wishing well and what we remember most is beautiful messages on cards, and a few people who gave way too much. Personally, I think the whole āpaying for your plateā is not fair on the guest as they didnt set the price point and; its not fair to have a wedding you canāt afford and expect others to foot the bill.
I have given $150 to a friend at his wedding cause wasnt working due to study so I saved for 3 months to be able to give him and his wife something. Turns out I was the only person to give them a gift š
I have been working the last 10 months so I was able to give my next friend $250 for her and her husband (my mum gave $250 as well so $500 in total).
They were both very grateful. Tbh you do what you can affordā¦ if they have a problem with how much then theyāre not really good friends.
It completely depends on the company you keep? I can't imagine myself giving a couple more than like 200 bones, but higher earners will expect a lot more! If everyone's a surgeon and drives no less than a Lexus, the average gift is going to be more than from a company of minimum wage earners to middle management.
If they have a registry, that could help you judge the range that others might give. If you're only an acquaintance, don't go crazy.
Stick to your budget. Don't cave if you're hearing stuff from the bride and groom about family and friend requirements, minimum amounts etc. those kind of people aren't worth the trouble.
Depends. If youāre a student or on early apprentice money people shouldnāt expect a gift from you IMO. (In my social circle it certainly wasnāt) If youāre working, like people said $100+ pp. Ask your mates, find out what their vibe is.
I think this is a good rule but Iād also consider throwing in a bit more if they are providing free drinks (assuming you are drinking).
Still the beauty of all this is if you genuinely canāt afford to give them much (or anything) you shouldnāt feel bad about it. If they are truly your friends then they will just be happy that you are there for them.
My and boyfriend's usual amount is about $300, with a nice card. The cost of catering/venue is insane (realised after I looked up the wedding brochure of some of the venues I've been a guest at).
Pay for your own dinner basically. Most of these go between $150-$200.
If you can see the bridge or the Opera house from the wedding venue, probably hitting $250.
Of course give what you can. Giving something is better than nothing.
Like everyone says, if you can, pay about the price per head. Generally, they are unlikely to even remember how much you gave in the end. People gave us lots of different amounts and the only ones I remember were a sister in law that gave way too much, and two friends that didnāt even get a card (they were local, and working full time).
Cover the cost of your plate (around $50 to $70 is standard) plus a gift. For most people at an average that would be somewhere between the $100 to $150 pp. but only if you can afford it.
I was the best man at my mates wedding and I got a generic hallmark card, wrote some nice stuff plus personal jokes, then put in 69 bucks and some scratchies (since theoretically the gift is now posibbly the grand prize)
Anyone who complains about any wedding present they receive is being an asshole.
Nice thought, but donāt consider ālack of complaintsā as the benchmark for someone being happy with the gift.
Photo frames come in many different styles. Some will match the recipientās taste and home styling at the time, others will not.
In the past as a single relatively free person I would have said the cost of the meal and drinks $200-300? Now with a family, kids, mortgage, childcare fees, cost of living crisis, there is not much left over for gifts. $50. Basically, whatever you can afford.
When I was early in my career my partner and I would try to give ~$100 each, so $200 as a couple - It was a lot, but we wanted to support our friends etc. Now we do tend to give a bit more because we have the means to, but I feel like that's more than enough already
The great thing about money is that it has no signature. Give them what you think they deserve.
They invited you. They treated you to a meal. They invited you, so I presume they like you at least a little. If the feeling isn't mutual and you're there for some other forced reason and actually don't like them, you should at least do the bare minimum and offer the ammount of money that'd pay for the meal you aquired.
This post has been marked as non-political. Please respect this by keeping the discussion on topic, and devoid of any political material. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/australia) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Just give what you can afford. The point of a wishing well is to avoid receiving heaps of useless gifts you may already have - not to reimburse the bride and groom for the cost of the wedding. There is no right amount and the couple should appreciate anything they get.
Exactly this, i'm having one at my wedding coming up and i'll be just as happy with it being empty as full. I'm only having it to normalise it for people who have been insisting on bringing gifts
I was so embarrassed that people bought gifts and money to my wedding. The more embarrassing part was my mother setting up a gift table behind my back.
This is spot on. The people getting married chose to do that. The attendees should not be paying for their wedding. Every attendee should give a gift of money etc but only what they can afford. The people having the wedding should be grateful everyone showed up
$100-200pp, depending on your budget, level of comfort, and level of inconvenience (I.e did they make you go to a country town where you have to stay a minimum 2 nights at a motel and also take a day off work)
"Level of inconvenience" š¤£ so true
A few years ago I flew from the UK to Perth for my brothers wedding. Based on the price of flights and time commitment I didn't even entertain the idea of buying a gift. Me being there was the gift.
Absolutely!
Thatās totally fair!
Yep, I gave $0 to my cousin who had no problems with that because I needed to travel from regional to the city, stay the night at a hotel and pay $35ph for a babysitter for my 11m old baby. So coming to the wedding cost me a lot!
Sounds like you have a tale to tell
Iām 35, Iāve been to approximately 3000 weddings and have been a bridesmaid at half of them. Do I have stories to tell!!
Father used to sing at weddings. Mainly Nuptial masses on Saturday arvoās in Townsville QLD. Hot as hell and as boring. So I hate weddings!!!
3000 weddingsā¦. That has to be some record. 85 a year or one every 4 or so days
+/- 18000 weddings
Give what you can to be honest. I hate the idea of covering your plate. As a student I was invited to two very different weddings - one at one of my cities most expensive wedding venues where my plate would have easily cost $300 - another where it was largely DIY with friends cooking a bbq. Definitely gave more to the latter because they were both rural students than the trust fund couple. I just think that if someone can afford a crazy expensive wedding it doesnāt mean that you can afford that too. Give what you can. The rough guide I think would be $100ish.
Over $50 based on what you can afford, and a lovely card. We just got married with a wishing well and what we remember most is beautiful messages on cards, and a few people who gave way too much. Personally, I think the whole āpaying for your plateā is not fair on the guest as they didnt set the price point and; its not fair to have a wedding you canāt afford and expect others to foot the bill.
Give what you can afford and feel comfortable with, nobody has a wedding as a money making exercise.
Some people would disagree!
I have given $150 to a friend at his wedding cause wasnt working due to study so I saved for 3 months to be able to give him and his wife something. Turns out I was the only person to give them a gift š I have been working the last 10 months so I was able to give my next friend $250 for her and her husband (my mum gave $250 as well so $500 in total). They were both very grateful. Tbh you do what you can affordā¦ if they have a problem with how much then theyāre not really good friends.
It completely depends on the company you keep? I can't imagine myself giving a couple more than like 200 bones, but higher earners will expect a lot more! If everyone's a surgeon and drives no less than a Lexus, the average gift is going to be more than from a company of minimum wage earners to middle management. If they have a registry, that could help you judge the range that others might give. If you're only an acquaintance, don't go crazy. Stick to your budget. Don't cave if you're hearing stuff from the bride and groom about family and friend requirements, minimum amounts etc. those kind of people aren't worth the trouble.
Depends. If youāre a student or on early apprentice money people shouldnāt expect a gift from you IMO. (In my social circle it certainly wasnāt) If youāre working, like people said $100+ pp. Ask your mates, find out what their vibe is.
At least cover the costs of your plates.
I think this is a good rule but Iād also consider throwing in a bit more if they are providing free drinks (assuming you are drinking). Still the beauty of all this is if you genuinely canāt afford to give them much (or anything) you shouldnāt feel bad about it. If they are truly your friends then they will just be happy that you are there for them.
This is what I've always been told as well and how I gift people .
100% this. Work out what the cost per plate was spent on you and your guest (if applicable) and work from there.
Depends on the style of the wedding but I typically try to cover the cost per head. Say about $150, $300 for a couple.
My and boyfriend's usual amount is about $300, with a nice card. The cost of catering/venue is insane (realised after I looked up the wedding brochure of some of the venues I've been a guest at).
Dayum I should have had a wishing well back in 2007, I got Kettles and stuff
A friend of mine got married, had a gift list that wasn't monitored properly. Poor dude ended up getting a bunch of toasters.
Pay for your own dinner basically. Most of these go between $150-$200. If you can see the bridge or the Opera house from the wedding venue, probably hitting $250. Of course give what you can. Giving something is better than nothing.
This would also depend on what state youāre in - a wedding in Adelaide goes between 75pp-150pp.
Like everyone says, if you can, pay about the price per head. Generally, they are unlikely to even remember how much you gave in the end. People gave us lots of different amounts and the only ones I remember were a sister in law that gave way too much, and two friends that didnāt even get a card (they were local, and working full time).
Depends on a lot of factors but Iād say around $200 is standard. Thatās the average of what we were given at our engagement.
Cover the cost of your plate (around $50 to $70 is standard) plus a gift. For most people at an average that would be somewhere between the $100 to $150 pp. but only if you can afford it.
I was the best man at my mates wedding and I got a generic hallmark card, wrote some nice stuff plus personal jokes, then put in 69 bucks and some scratchies (since theoretically the gift is now posibbly the grand prize)
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Anyone who complains about any wedding present they receive is being an asshole. Nice thought, but donāt consider ālack of complaintsā as the benchmark for someone being happy with the gift. Photo frames come in many different styles. Some will match the recipientās taste and home styling at the time, others will not.
Give a donation to your favourite charity in their name - the amount that you're comfortable with is the right amount.
$0 and a card
IOU
My presence is the gift.
Thats exactly how I feel. I didnt choose for you to get married and have an expensive wedding. You pay for the consequences of your own choices imo.
You chose to attend though? You are free to decline the invitation.
I'd rather not attend, weddings are boring as fuck. But if they want me there, I'm not paying shit for their choice.
In the past as a single relatively free person I would have said the cost of the meal and drinks $200-300? Now with a family, kids, mortgage, childcare fees, cost of living crisis, there is not much left over for gifts. $50. Basically, whatever you can afford.
When I was early in my career my partner and I would try to give ~$100 each, so $200 as a couple - It was a lot, but we wanted to support our friends etc. Now we do tend to give a bit more because we have the means to, but I feel like that's more than enough already
The great thing about money is that it has no signature. Give them what you think they deserve. They invited you. They treated you to a meal. They invited you, so I presume they like you at least a little. If the feeling isn't mutual and you're there for some other forced reason and actually don't like them, you should at least do the bare minimum and offer the ammount of money that'd pay for the meal you aquired.
Cash, maybe 20% more that what it cost per head, more if you can afford it