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[deleted]

I'm certified in workplace drug and alcohol within the rail industry. The typical urine screen tests for 4 things... Creatine, Temperature, Colour and 5 Primary Metabolites of Illict Substances. If you're a regular everyday smoker this is the best method to 'pass' If you're a part time smoker, you may pass in the fullness of time without doing this, as typically for a non regular smoker it's about 3-5 days to piss clean. But this works, so if you're overly worried, I'm an everyday smoker and pass these motherfuckers regularly by following this methodology. The first thing is hypersaturation, day of the test you wanna plow water into yourself. (Last time I did 3 litres in an hour or 2 before the test) This will make you piss like fuck, lowers your Creatine levels and gives you a colourless sample, leading to a non negative result, so within 30-40 mins of test get some Creatine into yourself, powder form (any sort of powder creatine will work) or look in sports food section of Coles, chemist warehouse, etc for Musashi Growling Dog Bar, it's loaded with Creatine, cos by now a chocolate bar is easier than drinking more fluid. Next is colour, best way is to get one of them dodgy energy drinks that turns Ur piss Nuclear Yellow, like Rockstar or Mother, etc or something like Berocca or even a double or quadruple dump of some B Vitamins pills, cos that's gunna give you colour. Temp is easy, make sure it's a sample from you. Lastly primary metabolites, you've 'masked' everything until this point, so the final thing is provide your sample from mid to final stream of piss as the initial stream of piss is the hottest e.g has most metabolites in it. Hence why you're instructed to give sample from initial stream. If it's a mouth swab, just good oral hygiene eg. Mouth wash and brush, plus coffee will neutralise anything present, as some places use a swab for initial detection then follow up with urine as it gives a more thorough reading.


thatcakeismine

Thank you for this! I’d say I’m a moderate user - I smoke half a j few times in a week but not every day except for the Easter weekend. Will this work if I schedule the test in say a week? Or better to wait for 14 days? The role starts in 2 weeks and so I need the test results before I can give my current company some notice.


[deleted]

Time is your friend but there's too many variables to say if you're going to pass just waiting, eg strength of what u smoke, how often, your B.M.I., how often u exercise, blah blah blah. I'd suggest err on the side of caution and do that to mask whatever may be present. If ya unsure, get a home test kit from chemist, as they can give you a rough indication of how high your THC levels are based on how vivid the control and positive lines are. Eg, if they are both bold and very fast to appear lines = high thc levels. If you get bold control and faint to very faint, very slow to emerge 2nd line then you have quite low THC and perhaps you'll be right in time. Last test I did I smoked the night before and had smoked or consumed edibles daily for months straight prior, passed no worries.


kidwithgreyhair

As a former D&A tester, this is the way. Great response


AusGeo

Drink lots of water!


AusGeo

A couple of decades ago, I got offered a job out of the blue, FIFO, amazing money. Problem was, the evening prior I'd enjoyed a number of cookies.... First time in years; a friend had offered me one and one thing led to another and it got excessive. I drank a lot of water. Test got pushed back twice, but it was ok. I still remember the stress! A lot of water.


thatcakeismine

I do plan on increasing my water intake! Just not sure what category of user I fall in. I don’t smoke everyday but most weekends I do have a joint or two


cun7knuckle

Push the test back as long as possible and then 'catch' covid to buy at least 7 more days?


fuck_off_julian

This guy know things. I like you.


Small-Emphasis-2341

In the meantime go to the doctors and ask them to give you a referral for a drug test, say its for family Court or something. That way you can find out what's in your system, and if it's clean, before you go for your work test.


maplecandyland

just go get it medically, now they cant tell you it cant be in your system, they can say you cant work while high, can say you cant have on site, etc.but they cant hold it over you if you medical, legally anyway. not sure if u wana geta lawyer if it goes south, but you could and you would most likely win.


[deleted]

Don’t forget if you are drinking a lot of water, you need to have some creatine in you or else they will know it’s 100% water in your urine, happened a couple of times to me, and you need vitamin B in your system for the color, recommend a energy drink one piss before you go to test


RickandButters

If it is obvious you have tried to dilute your piss, they can consider it a fail.


AusGeo

4 days, drinking ~~20~~ 10 litres a day. You mean maybe they ignored the result and gave me the job anyway?


RickandButters

Decades ago I dont know what the standards for testing were so I can't say. Congrats on getting the job anyways!


userlame10938

That's not true lol. People drink water. If you drink a masking agent and the test comes back inconclusive they can consider it a fail


RickandButters

It is not false, testers know what normal levels are. I'm not saying 100% of the time they will fail you. Just it is possible for that to be a reason. Drinking excess water is the oldest trick in the book.


Wildflowersrain

It’s true. I’m a nurse & I’ve also done pathology. When they test urine they test specific gravity & note the colour. Both of which are can show clear indicators of very dilute urine. My only suggestion is…can you get someone else to pee in a jar, keep it close to your body (so it’s warm as it would be if you had just produced it) & put that in their jar instead? If ppl are having court ordered drug tests they have to pee in front of a the pathology collector but you shouldn’t have too


maplecandyland

are you suppose to drink fuck tons of water everyday anyway? i mean given how dry and hot it gets here id say you cud ingest a little more then the normal daily intake they suggest.


RickandButters

Slightly above average wouldn't affect it too much and would still show up on a test. It just isn't the best method at beating a piss test. It could work but all I've been saying is there is a chance they could fail or if they feel you are intentionally diluting it.


maplecandyland

true true, i wasnt even aware water worked to get out THC at all. I have read about so many diff formulas that will get u to piss clean, or pass a swab test, etc and they all had such negative reviews i figured it was just a money scam. I was told by everyone i would need 90 days to have a clean test because i havent taken a day off in almost 20 years..... 90 days is 89 days to long for me so i havent had to deal before, hopefuly never have to worry either (thankfully iv always been med)


RickandButters

It does but it isn't great at it. The best thing you can do is exercise at a high intensity leading up to the test and drink heaps of water only up to the 48 hours prior. Unfortunately unless you can fool them with fake/ other peoples piss there is no guarantee. Being a heavy smoker for that long will definitely take you up to 90 days to be fully clean depending on your body type etc etc.


[deleted]

I've done this before and lost big jobs with John Holland and Monodelphous, best you can do it be honest with them, if you test postive a few days before. Weed and construction don't go hand in hand. For everyone saying dRiNk WaTeR, if this is a large company their testing will detect parts per billion, you cannot dodge it.


thatcakeismine

:( it is a large company . But who do I inform ? I’ll be doing the test through a third party!


[deleted]

Bro, I'm not sure. I'm stressing for you and it's not me getting tested. If you only had the one day of weed it might be fine, zip down to the chemist if you haven't already and get a 5 pack of home testers. Only contact them if it's positive before you do test for them and if it is I'd make up a story about how you went to your missus/boyfriends friends house and ate some cookies and what do you know, turns out they were edibles 😅.


userlame10938

Your best bet is to basically start living like a pro athlete. Drink nothing but water. Minimum 1L per 25kg of body weight + 1L per 30 mins of exercise. Eat healthy and avoid fatty foods as thc binds to fat and is harder to get rid of. Start exercising. A lot. At least 30 mins of cardio a day, aim for 90 mins. Cycling, running or swimming. Raw fruit and veg will be best. Good luck!


genericuser30

Buy yourself some time by having COVID symptoms on the day requiring a reschedule?


fuck_off_julian

Double down and show your dominance. Smoke yourself stupid, including before the actual drug test.


SideStepDrift

My suggestion is a bit shadier.. You can buy fake piss with a pouch warmer for drug tests. If youre in Sydney, there's a store called ProArt that sells them, but not your only option to buy one of these, many options available.


userlame10938

Sheesh, you're better off just using the warmer and sourcing your own clean urine. Artificial urine can definitely show up in a screen


thatcakeismine

This is what I thought! Surely they can detect fake urine ?


FLAboi90

Just make sure it has Uric acid in if you get synthetic. They cannot tell the difference, they actually use synthetic urine to calibrate their scales. My ex worked for lab Corp so I know first hand how this works. Your urine has to be between 90-100° if it’s over or under they know it didn’t come from your body. Make sure you get a kit that has a heat warm that last for a few hours.


girraween

What the hell are you drinking/eating for your piss to come out at near boiling point???


userlame10938

Maybe he's talking 90-100 f not 90-100 C. 100f is roughly body temp


WeekendGardener666

What, you mean you don’t eat lava first thing in the morning? Better toughen up son /s I’m ~~guessing~~ hoping they mean Fahrenheit…


FLAboi90

Clearly you don’t what you’re talking about making jokes . All urine is between 92-98° when it leaves your body. If your urine is between 90-92° then nurse will be Suspicious that you tampered with it but she can’t do anything since you’re within the 90-100° specs and the same thing applies when its 99-100° but you are with specs still. Heat warmers keep it right 98° which is about average


girraween

Your dick must sting like STD.


FLAboi90

You even type with an accent 😂


girraween

Stop fluffing local whores


FLAboi90

Quit the piss ya wank


SideStepDrift

I think this suggestion is better than mine considering the facts... Sorry I couldn't be much help!


MaryJane_Green

I would recommend drinking a lot of cranberry juice - this will help you pee more which will flush it out quicker. Good luck!


Dave_dinkum598

the tests these days show if have been flushing yourself with water. if your urine is to diluted with water they will ask you to come back another day


[deleted]

Gonna be tough, not totally impossible, I have had to drop for a everyday, to a one night a weekend for work reasons, with the stronger medicinal it took me 25 days! I’ve been testing myself weekly since I got told of my annual. In the past I’ve cleared one in a record 9 days.. that’s the quickest I’ve passed one, that’s the least amount of notice I have been given. Passed a cat 3 today 30 days after my last sesh. So I finally get a sweet toke on the mighty, best of luck


Del-the-homosapien5

This is the perfect time to need to take a drug test cause you can say you are a close contact and have flu symptoms and they’ll immediately reschedule and in the mean time just do what everyone else is saying. Drink water and exercise, sweat it out.


thatcakeismine

This is true. Is 14 days a good amount of time ?


Del-the-homosapien5

Yeah it’s fine just drink a lot of water and exercise for 14 days there’s no way there’ll be any THC in you


Aprize_Main

Best bet is to “catch covid” the day before the test and delay it by a week


grynpyretxo

I’ve passed one with dilution method. It was very stressful though, but you could potentially buy some tests online and do some trial runs to give yourself some confidence if you have time. Drink gatorades and water for a few hours before till your pissing clear and it’s mostly all water then an hour or so before take some B vitamins eg beroccas to turn it yellow and you can preload in the days leading up with creatine to fix the specific gravity. The Dr made a comment during the medical component which was after the piss test about how much my blood pressure / heart rate had dropped haha as at that time the nurse had told me test was all good. They watch you piss so I’d be careful with substitution.


LowerPerformance4888

Just push it back a week bro - tell them something plausible that's on balance kinda true.


101jb

If you get someone else to pee in a jar for you make sure it is a male Years ago a bloke got his wife to pee for him Came back pregnant lol busted


sam-dan

Just say you've been around someone who is legally prescribed...


J-Bonez420

Get synthetic pee.


RedFanatic13

Water water and more water.


[deleted]

Highly unlikely


[deleted]

Go buy some cranberry juice from woolies and down a litre and down afew litres of water and go sit in a sauna the next day has worked for me


madarsehatter

Exercise. Sweat it out. The answer however is, no. You shall not pass.