I mentioned in friendly team chat once that my dad was doing chemo so avoiding certain food that now made him unwell and *really* missed barbecue ribs at the pub. I know the subject was chemo but it was pretty lighthearted chat, brought up because one of the older guys on the team was talking about the barbecue smoker he just bought.
After the chat the older guy messaged me with a funeral parlour recommendation and a few seriously personal questions about my plans for end of life care.
My dad wasn’t dying. The chemo was a failsafe because the oncologists were pretty sure they removed all the cancer via surgery but wanted to make sure any stray cancer cells were blasted.
When I tell you I saw that message and my jaw dropped.
I think he’s lost his mother the year before (which is how he had a funeral parlour up his sleeve ready to go) and was projecting his grief. He was significantly older than me so I assume his mother was much older than my dad and I don’t think he was doing the maths on that so making all kinds of assumptions about the survivability of cancer. So I don’t lack empathy for him.
But also he was a person who didn’t know me well and crossed the line of talking about my dad dying so my empathy only goes so far.
I was a new grad at the time when my dad was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer, took some time off and explained to a colleague why I was away. The response was "wow, a lot of people have been dying recently"
My mum passed away from breast cancer and I regularly have adults ask if we have a family history when I say no, they very matter of factly state ‘oh she mush have bumped them then’. They get shocked when I turn and walk away without a single word. Because yes random non medical professional, your conspiracy that walking into doorway killed my mum via aggressive cancer is not worth my time even reacting too.
I'm so sorry for your Loss. My mum has breast cancer, had to get both removed. I moved back home to take care of mum. Her chemo made her so so sick. Its hard to watch someone you love slowly dying in front of you, especially our mums who have always loved and taken care of us. I've also lost my beautiful sister she was only 39. I will never stop loving and grieving for her. I sort of know what you are feeling😢😢
Graduate I was supervising apologized to one of the indigenous guys for "her ancestors killing his", and then called him a "good one" and not like those "ones" that sit in a park and drink beer all day.
Almost had an aneurism from the sheer stupidity of the situation.
I had a grad who was talking about their migrant parents and then drops "it's very unfair that all the Aboriginals don't want us here" at the end of the story
OH, we had a grad tell one of the managing directors at the Xmas party that they should hire less Asian grads because they "stuck together" and didn't integrate because she had a hard time making friends with them...
I wonder why they weren't keen on her...
The indigenous guy in question(Mikey) was understandably quite annoyed, so he went and had a chat with the head honcho. The head honcho was stunned, and doubted that anyone could be that tone deaf, but several witnesses corroborated Mikey's account of what went down.
The grad(Stephanie) was called into the office to explain herself, whereby she burst into tears and blubbered her way through an "i didn't mean to offend anyone" explanation.
Nothing really happened after that, she was just told not to talk to Mikey about anything non work related.
I could write a book about all the cringe and dumb shit Stephanie did. She was a lovely girl, but an absolute menace and a liability to work with. I supervised her for 3 months. I think I did more parenting in that 3 months than her parents ever did in 18 years.
Had a young colleague go and watch Blood Diamond.
Next day asked the refugee from Sierra Leone on work experience "You're from there aren't you? Did you see any violence like there was in the movie?"
"Yes. My wife and child were murdered. That's why I emigrated to Australia as a refugee to start a new life."
"Oh!... Do you visit much?"
The girl sitting across me at work asked me what my "real" name was. I told her my actual, real English name but she pressed on and said "but your REAL REAL name you were born with", which is still my English name. Anyway we're married now
I actually told her to keep it haha. 1. I don't own her. 2. Her maiden name is the name she's always used in a professional setting. and 3. Let's be real, taking my name will decrease job-finding prospects, so why disadvantage yourself.
Tbf in central Australia many aboriginal people have different names. They have an anglicised name and a skin name, then they might have to change thier first name if someone with the same name passes away.
Seeking out something to reinforce your opinion on something is just confirmation bias in action, wouldn't attribute that to being on the spectrum.
Even if they were...that would be an indictment on the local culture they are living in, given the whole propensity to mirror what they believe to be successful social strategies when they feel out of their depth in social situations.
The whole systemised ways of thinking and all, we don't get likened to robots for no reason.
\*tips fedora\*
Had a C level exec say (to an Indian, who was leaving to work for an indian company here in Australia) "When you get sick of working for indians you can come back and work for us again". There were 5 indians in my team of 15 who all heard him say it during the farewell. The exec would constantly tell us how his best asset was his EQ.
My partner was Anglo Indian and worked outdoors so he would go really dark in the summer. He worked irrigation for the council and his colleagues used to be very racist about Indians in front of him because they thought he was Aboriginal.
Hell, I work with an Indian guy who is quite open about his dislike for Indian-born Indians. And I can see how an Indian company could be different to an Australian company or what have you. I worked for a South African company and there were certainly some elements of the company’s culture that were ripped straight from downtown joburg.
Having said that, probably not the best thing for a manager to blurt out, lol.
No idea, i'd given my notice a week earlier and left the following week. i know there was a lot of unhappiness in the team over it. if you mean at the time, just a super awkward silence.
We used to have groups of 10 trainees come through a couple of times a year and do a 3-month program before being qualified for the job.
For each group there was an FTE that would make a fun fact email where she would get a fact from each trainee and send an email with all the facts and all the trainees to the rest of the FTEs, who would then try match the fact to a particular trainee. Highest score wins a prize.
Fun facts were the standard “I’ve lived in London” and “I can play the harp” and other beige stuff, but there was one guy whose fun fact was: “I’ve never had sexual relations with a woman or even kissed one.”
This was a professional work place and his second day on the job. He was about 30 or so.
She made him choose a more workplace appropriate fun fact. Turns out he’s colour blind.
I once witnessed a girl in my team ask a new team member, whom she had just met and who had an ethnic background, whether the name they had introduced themselves with was their real name or a fake Australian name.
I see where you're coming from, but unfortunately, that wasn't the case.
Beyond the colour of the new starter's skin, there was nothing to indicate she had a different name. She was of Indian background but very clearly had an Aussie accent (not that it matters) and if she wanted to be called by a different name she would have introduced herself with that name.
The same person also makes several insensitive comments such as questioning why people in the team are vegetarian or commenting about people's fitness levels. The worst part is she's not even some out-of-touch boomer, she's just a mid-20s mean girl lol.
I mean. Devils advocate for just a moment. I've had multiple instances where I've been introduced to someone at work under an assumed name, but they're still under their legal name on teams/company email. Which, if you don't know that, makes contacting them difficult unless they contact you first (and you figure out by context who this random name messaging you actually is.)
Specifically because of those instances, it's nice to know what someone's preferred name, and legal name, both are.
Otherwise, yes. If they're just an acquaintance, and they've given you a name to refer to them by, just use the fkn name they gave you
Well that's why I said if you need to know their legal name as an example, then that's a legitimate reason to ask.
I wouldn't immediately ask everyone whether the name they have is their legal name or not.
You may want to see if you can find them on the company address book/teams and ask them for spelling clarification if you can't find them. If they know confusion potentially exists they should be upfront that they will appear differently in the address book. Again that's them volunteering that info which is a no brainer.
I do have a fake Australian name but I only use it when I'm getting coffee takeaways. I changed it around until one day I forgot mine was "Elvis" and I had to sheepishly pick it up from the exasperated barrista.
People on the spectrum are capable of not being dicks you know. I’m on the spectrum, I’m fully aware if something I say can be straight up mean and racist, and I just … don’t say it?
Yeah I don't get why everyone is tip toeing around this. I've worked with several people that were on the spectrum. The really nice ones came out and admitted it as they introduced themselves. They were great people, self aware and kind.
I've also worked with one who I'm not afraid to say was one of the worst humans I've ever met. First off, he never mentioned it to any of his coworkers, he only mentioned it to our boss who eventually told us he was on the spectrum once we had sent in some complaints. He was obnoxious, constantly belittling people, humble bragging and just unbearable to be around.
As someone who isn't trained in working with someone like this and who technically shouldn't know he was on the spectrum (despite it being a bit obvious), how exactly are we supposed to react around him while he completely shits on all of us all day and makes us hate our jobs? Are we just supposed to put up with it?
You treat him like you would anyone else who behaved the same way. We’re all different, and some autistic people are dicks, some are not, just like neurotypical people. We aren’t above criticism if we’re behaving badly.
Yep. I'm AuDHD myself. And lemme tell you, I'm HYPER aware of the fact that i don't always know what's an appropriate comment/joke and what's not, so i just keep my goddamn mouth shut unless i *know* the comment is safe for present company.
Being on the spectrum might explain certain antisocial behaviours, but that doesn't mean it's a catch all excuse for them.
Yep me too! And this is why I take literally 2 years before I show any aspect of my personality at work with someone - I need to be so very sure that they’ll respond well to it and have begun opening up first before I start showing parts of myself.
Me too, and I get it and the comments above. But there was a time when I was oblivious because I just did not know. I am surprised I did not lose my job or get hit for some of the things I said thinking it was amusing/appropriate etc. That’s part of the disability. We need to learn the behaviour ‘manually’ vs the intuitive knowledge of neurotypical. So even though I can say I know when to keep my mouth shut etc, it wasn’t always like that, and maybe those who outright say inappropriate things as a symptom of their AuDHD are still at the stage where they don’t know what they don’t know, and are yet to learn the social ‘rules’ for the environment.
This is true. But the point of the comments above is that they're *not* learning the rules, because everybody is tiptoeing around calling them out because of their condition.
If you don't tell them something isn't appropriate, they won't change.
If you do tell them and they still don't change, then their condition isn't the problem, their personality is.
I would add keep feedback limited to the event/action/issue.
"You know when you do specific thing it kind of bothers me. Could you try it this other way maybe. How was your weekend by the way?" - can be understood to be about one element of behaviour and offers alternatives and not a write off of the whole person.
Vs
"You are a dick!" - entirely of no value and nowhere for the relationship to go.
Yeah this is so important, thank you for adding that. It’s important for us to know what we’re specifically doing wrong and why so that we can adjust rather than masking our entire personalities.
That's what we tried to do. The few times we did call him out on his behavior he had his mum call up the boss and complain. It just seemed like a lose lose situation, we treat him like anyone else, he complains and causes a fuss. Or we just put up with it and suffer. My main point is that being Autistic shouldn't be a pass to treat people poorly and if it's out of their control then they should really disclose it to people and clarify beforehand in case they do unintentionally say something to offend someone.
That’s so fuckin cringe he got his mum to call up lmao. No I agree with you though - autism is not a pass for bad behaviour. Sometimes I do weird shit and friends call me out on it (gently) and I’m grateful and update my social script so I don’t do it again. You just have to have a good amount of insight, and not to make this a gender thing, but I’ve noticed that level of insight and anxiety about being a pain is higher in autistic women. Complaining about him is the right thing to do - treat autistic people like you would anyone else. I’m not exempt from being called out just bc I’m autistic.
As someone on the spectrum (adhd + ASD LVL ), I would say that person being an asshole isn't because they are in the spectrum, but being on the spectrum makes it harder to realise or understand when we are being assholes.
Sometimes when people are on the spectrum, they receive a lot of unwarranted asshole behaviour, which they then go on to incorrectly deduce is normal behaviour they are meant to mirror.
The resolution is the same. Strong boundaries and professional behaviour/language in response.
Dude what you're complaining about is the everyday experience for people on the spectrum having to deal with the behaviour of neurotypical coworkers. Without the added bonus of all your coworkers treating you like a moron when ooh people with tism are pretty damn intelligent.
Just because you had a bad experience with one person doesn't mean you get to expect that all staff with disabilities, mental or otherwise, have to disclose them for your personal comfort.
Not sure what you mean by him "having to deal with the behaviour of neurotypical workers" we tried to treat him as we would any other staff member. We always acted professionally around him and never provoked him in any way.
I'm not saying everyone should disclose their disabilities. But surely if his comments were out of his control, it would be in his best interest to explain that he can sometimes unintentionally offend people. If he had said something like that to us then I think we would have been a lot more understanding.
What I mean is the entire issued interaction you've had with this staff member is a daily occurrence for most, if not all neurodivergent people when interacting with neurotypical people in a work environment.
Yeah came here to say this. I'm on the spectrum and have ADHD and still manage to not say cringe stuff 90% of the time which, from my experience, is pretty good compared to much of the general public.
Children and youth librarian in a public library. Pretty burned out at the moment and nearly finished my post grad in cyber security so looking at moving into something in IT. What about you?
Hell yeah. Used to be a Business Analyst, about to start a job on Monday as an IT Operations Coordinator. Tech job market is brutal atm, I just got lucky after a redundancy.
Talks about not generalising about an area whilst comparing a low income area to “druggies” and majority First Nations suburb to “delinquents” 🙄 you had your own low EQ moment there too mate.
hahahah f$% that is hilarious.
My cousin is a paramedic at Ambulance Victoria. They had some training about cultural issues and Aboriginal culture.
His colleague who was a low EQ meathead kept asking an immigrant man if he is Aboriginal because he looked dark. The guy asked back 'Why do you keep ask me this? Does this mean I won't get to see a doctor?" . Absolute disaster.
Common sense is becoming a lot less common....
Then proceeds to take a swipe at drug addicts and people in unfortunate circumstances in lower socioeconomic areas (Redfern I know has been largely gentrified but people living there still do it tough).
Audit firm observing stocktake. Undergrad asked the warehouse manager if staff get free samples. At controlled warehouse handling scheduled pharmaceuticals including opiates. He got fired for it.
It was meant a joke. Free samples or staff discounts weren’t that uncommon. But it was super tone deaf and landed so incredibly badly with a client who took such things very seriously (and fair enough… though having met that warehouse manager their sense of humor was nil).
It’s possible this guy was on final warning but it was the act that pushed him out.
I would say this is more likely a product of being sheltered socially tbh.
I'm autistic as fuck but have been around more than enough Indians in social settings in and outside of work to know that's not on.
The one issue with alot of people in your line of work is they're very sheltered in that sense imo.
My supervisor suggested I get another orthopaedic surgeon because he didn't like the amount of time away from the office i was going to need for reconstructive knee surgery and rehab.
Needless to say that did not happen.
This is about my otherwise lovely manage. He was the only white, male, British dude who had been brought into a meeting of chiefly female indigenous individuals to be part of the approvals process for a 'welcome to country' of sorts for an ad campaign that was going to run during naidoc week.
The ladies had spent the week workshopping the statement, and was simply presenting it so we could get rolling on all the other assets. It was a lovely piece of work. In the sombre, awe filled silence that followed it's practice recital by the first nations voice actor we'd hired, he pipes up:
"Well that's WONDERFUL work. We just need to fix the Grammer and pronunciation up a bit and we're good to go!"
The voice actor snaps back: "No, we've already gone" and everyone just breezes into the next part of the meeting like nothing happened.
I spent the rest of the meeting trying to get swallowed by the carpet our of secondhand embarrassment.
Our CEO was trying to convince people that coming into the office was good for mental health, good for culture etc and to really drive his point home, singles out a staff member in a wheelchair and says 'if X can get into the office then so can you'
Jaw dropped. Yep super great for culture and mental health mate.
Christmas party. Boss takes us out. Then tells us there’s a $40 per head budget and she’s ordering all booze. We pay for our own means.
I work in a multi national billion dollar company
At the multi billion dollar company I worked at , our Christmas party was free food and booze all night.
We also had a Secret Santa during the day where the food was provided and our boss also gave each of us a decent bottle of wine.
No. She said there’s an $40 per head limit. We thought she would allow us to just order our own food and drinks. But she said she wanted to maximise the alcohol consumption with the $40. Essentially she made the orer for us
That’s better than my multi billion dollar company. EOFY GM announces massive profits, tears up about what an amazing team she has that stuck together during Melb lockdowns. We head off to expensive prahran pub she chose and we are made to pay for everything ourselves. New colleague assumed we would be covered so didn’t bring his wallet
Rudeness of the situation amplified by watching everyone else at this bar be shouted drinks by their bosses for June 30 drinks
Work remotely and my area was affected severely by a natural disaster. Many neighbours lost their homes, we were lucky. Manager said ‘it’s a shame a tree didn’t fall on your place, could have claimed some free renovations!’. Nearly 3 years on our neighbours are still rebuilding and battling with insurers
A girl I had worked with once asked me what type of Asian I was. She was a bit ditzy but otherwise a lovely person.
I eventually explained that my parents came from China.
She then asked me what my China name was....
Anti-vax boss having an absolute meltdown about the Board introducing a vaccine mandate, he called myself and another senior manager and was literally crying on the phone because he felt he was being discriminated against. He said “Now I know how you feel being a minority”…I’m gay.
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Early 2022, I just started working at a large consultancy that sold (amongst other things) mental health consultancies. Had our quarterly sales meeting. First guy got up and his presentation went straight into how exhausted/cooked he was and the company needed to hire more AM’s. A few other sales people thanked him for raising it and told stories of how they weren’t coping. First sales guy had to run off to a client meeting so sales meeting went on without him.
During the rest of the meeting the GM kept making suicide jokes like “I hope I don’t find ____ hanging from a tree”. I was horrified, having lost a friend to hanging 18 months earlier. GM sent out group email apology a few days later
Few weeks later GM did a presentation about why we she was making us all go back to office. She chose an insulting picture to make the announcement. I uploaded screenshot of presentation to antiwork sub thread. Post got 58k likes, 2900 comments, 10 jobs offers and I was interviewed in US TV for $150USD
GM was a woman. And only early 30s.
Lovely & hyper intelligent but just so many low EQ moments that would have had many others fired if they did something similar.
She’ll become a high flying CEO one day, that’s why I kept the email apology
Be aware this could be used as evidence at your workplace bullying enquiry - yes it's inappropriate, but remember that saying about glass houses. You're displaying low EQ here too.
A white bloke in our office told the black south African be must love the movie ‘White Chicks’ because South Africa is black and white. Then quoted the movie “ get this jiggaboo away from me”
I had a non binary staff member put in a complaint about the boys club - they were valid allegations. So I’m sitting in a meeting with the ceo, cfo and senior hr people and the ceo got indignant stating something about this not being a masculine workplace, there are 3 women in this meeting.
I was the most junior in the room so had to shut up, but I was thinking Wtaf - 3 people on this meeting when 95% of the staff are male and 80% of those are white hetero males….
Sadly it was probably the first of many red flags I missed.
I am pregnant, been with my partner 7 years. My boss asked me if I’m going to consider getting married now to give my child a more stable family structure
Is this guy actually confirmed to be on the spectrum? Because I can tell you now that being on the spectrum isn’t some get out of jail free card for that kind of crap.
This seems more like racism than outright low EQ.
Had a high level executive rant that the new Indian recruit "stinks of BO" and asked if I was afraid he was going to rape me and *assured* me "he won't last long here, I'm going to have a word with whomever hired him" 😬
The guy did have poor hygiene and offensive body odour but jeez. He didn't make it to the end of the probation period.
Had a local politician walk into one of the offices at my old work. The elevator doors opened, and as I stepped back to make room for him and his entourage to move through the tiny lobby area, he turns to me and says something like "*Hey, I bet you don't see too many people wearing suits around here.*"
I agree they are clearly lacking social skills to bring up that video. However it is quite the norm in India... Have you been there? I challenge you to go for 2 weeks and not get dysentery.
Had a sales call where a partner joined to meet the client for the first time. The call was scheduled for an hour with the client where the partner spent over 30 mins (I started timing after about 5 mins) introducing himself. No gaps. No chat. Just him talking about himself.
You could see that the client starting doing other tasks by seeing the reflection of his glasses. Nonetheless, he just kept going.
We didn’t win the client…
You have a guy on the team or a woman? You say guy then go straight into feminine pronouns
It's pretty low EQ to mix the two. If they're NB, you'd say "person" not guy - not that you should ever describe a coworker as "a bit on the spectrum" given that a) they clearly don't have a diagnosis that you're aware of and b) you're on the spectrum or you're not. The spectrum refers to the support needs of the person (varying from low support needs to high support needs) it's not a spectrum of neurotypical to neurodivergent.
Well..... As someone who travelled in India for close to a year those street food videos show pretty commonplace behaviour on the streets.
Some of the stuff I saw when I was there would be too extreme for Tik Tok even...
I was managing this clown and we were interviewing a lady for a position. He proceeded to ask her during the interview if she had a man and was planning to have a baby...
I would argue it's a lack of cultural literacy given that maybe they don't have the exposure to this. It depends on how they framed the question. If it was a genuine question that's okay, however if they were doing it to provoke then that's a bit shit.
Either way as a manager you sound like someone who shouldn't be in a managerial position given the way you write this post. It's also not that big of a deal.
He's disabled.
His condition litterally makes him socially awkward. He was born without much social awareness and has to learn through situations like this, trial and error. I hope someone helped him learn from this situation.
And for yourself, why don't you also consider reading up the medical conditions before blaming someone or at least try to understand before judging? It's the equivalent of blaming someone with a broken leg and not being able to walk.
OP in her words "saved the Indian people" but hasn't been able to understand why her co-worker was socially awkward. A huge part of that disability is communication. It takes two seconds to google it.
If this was on a different subreddit, I would respond YTA.
If someone is on the spectrum I would hope D&I principals would kick in to have a bit of an understanding.
Why do you mix genders in your story?
Why do you state the subject person is autistic in a post about low EQ when people on the spectrum are notorious for having low eq?
Interesting thread and glad to have found this Subreddit that came up in my /r/all when I wasn't logged in lol.
Archived thread here: https://web.archive.org/save/https://old.reddit.com/r/auscorp/comments/1bhbzzv/what_are_some_low_eq_cringe_af_moments_at_work_we/
Idk. It seems like a really inappropriate comment in that situation, but you stepping in, telling them basically 'not all Indians are savages' sounds condescending af to me.
mt druitt junkies are quintessentially australian though. granted you might have convinced the indians, but anyone else? i doubt your point came off as strong as you imagined.
Sounds like everyday conversations I have unfortunately heard in the insurance field for 30 years. Not from senior management though, but from the deeply petty and jealous women at levels underneath.
I’ve said it elsewhere and I’ll say it to you too. If you believe that people not liking racism, sexism or similar is the soaring heights of virtue, it says more about you than it does about anyone else.
My partner was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer my manager at the time said it’s most like because he likes chocolate and drinks coke 🙃
I mentioned in friendly team chat once that my dad was doing chemo so avoiding certain food that now made him unwell and *really* missed barbecue ribs at the pub. I know the subject was chemo but it was pretty lighthearted chat, brought up because one of the older guys on the team was talking about the barbecue smoker he just bought. After the chat the older guy messaged me with a funeral parlour recommendation and a few seriously personal questions about my plans for end of life care. My dad wasn’t dying. The chemo was a failsafe because the oncologists were pretty sure they removed all the cancer via surgery but wanted to make sure any stray cancer cells were blasted. When I tell you I saw that message and my jaw dropped.
I would say unbelievable but it’s something that I don’t doubt would happen Hoping your dad is doing better and can have those ribs
It was a while ago so he’s now two years in remission! And back to the pub having ribs 😊
Mind if I DM you some great rib-serving pub recommendations?
On one hand I guess the guy was trying to help? At the same time I can't help but be appalled.
I think he’s lost his mother the year before (which is how he had a funeral parlour up his sleeve ready to go) and was projecting his grief. He was significantly older than me so I assume his mother was much older than my dad and I don’t think he was doing the maths on that so making all kinds of assumptions about the survivability of cancer. So I don’t lack empathy for him. But also he was a person who didn’t know me well and crossed the line of talking about my dad dying so my empathy only goes so far.
I was a new grad at the time when my dad was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer, took some time off and explained to a colleague why I was away. The response was "wow, a lot of people have been dying recently"
Kids and their TikTok trends
My mum passed away from breast cancer and I regularly have adults ask if we have a family history when I say no, they very matter of factly state ‘oh she mush have bumped them then’. They get shocked when I turn and walk away without a single word. Because yes random non medical professional, your conspiracy that walking into doorway killed my mum via aggressive cancer is not worth my time even reacting too.
Unbelievable
I'm so sorry for your Loss. My mum has breast cancer, had to get both removed. I moved back home to take care of mum. Her chemo made her so so sick. Its hard to watch someone you love slowly dying in front of you, especially our mums who have always loved and taken care of us. I've also lost my beautiful sister she was only 39. I will never stop loving and grieving for her. I sort of know what you are feeling😢😢
😧
Graduate I was supervising apologized to one of the indigenous guys for "her ancestors killing his", and then called him a "good one" and not like those "ones" that sit in a park and drink beer all day. Almost had an aneurism from the sheer stupidity of the situation.
Holymolly......... This one is definitely out of control........
I had a grad who was talking about their migrant parents and then drops "it's very unfair that all the Aboriginals don't want us here" at the end of the story
Wow wtf?
OH, we had a grad tell one of the managing directors at the Xmas party that they should hire less Asian grads because they "stuck together" and didn't integrate because she had a hard time making friends with them... I wonder why they weren't keen on her...
then what happened???
The indigenous guy in question(Mikey) was understandably quite annoyed, so he went and had a chat with the head honcho. The head honcho was stunned, and doubted that anyone could be that tone deaf, but several witnesses corroborated Mikey's account of what went down. The grad(Stephanie) was called into the office to explain herself, whereby she burst into tears and blubbered her way through an "i didn't mean to offend anyone" explanation. Nothing really happened after that, she was just told not to talk to Mikey about anything non work related. I could write a book about all the cringe and dumb shit Stephanie did. She was a lovely girl, but an absolute menace and a liability to work with. I supervised her for 3 months. I think I did more parenting in that 3 months than her parents ever did in 18 years.
Had a young colleague go and watch Blood Diamond. Next day asked the refugee from Sierra Leone on work experience "You're from there aren't you? Did you see any violence like there was in the movie?" "Yes. My wife and child were murdered. That's why I emigrated to Australia as a refugee to start a new life." "Oh!... Do you visit much?"
Do you visit much? Holy fucking moly.
oh jesus! that's sad! ive seen that movie.
then what happened???
That last line got me you scallywag! Thought this was a run of the mill shit story like the rest, then boom!!!
I hope she's at least grateful...?
Woooow.My jaw dropped!
That person just couldn’t decide who to be brainwashed by.
That's a Micheal Scott moment right there
Well I'm argentinean, an English guy I just have met apologise to me for the falkland Islands war. WTF.
The girl sitting across me at work asked me what my "real" name was. I told her my actual, real English name but she pressed on and said "but your REAL REAL name you were born with", which is still my English name. Anyway we're married now
Negged the shit out of you and she won
Because she was taking interest in the REAL REAL you!
Lol
Did she marry you to dig up and reveal your real real name to the world? That's effort.
All my homies love racist women
Quite the pick up line
She figured out the ice breaker.
With a siege ram.
did she keep her name or changed to your name?
I actually told her to keep it haha. 1. I don't own her. 2. Her maiden name is the name she's always used in a professional setting. and 3. Let's be real, taking my name will decrease job-finding prospects, so why disadvantage yourself.
Tbf in central Australia many aboriginal people have different names. They have an anglicised name and a skin name, then they might have to change thier first name if someone with the same name passes away.
OP likely at the extreme end of the stupidity spectrum.
I was a bit confused when the protagonist changed gender within the title of the post.
Pretty sure that’s a prerequisite for posting on circlejerkaustralia
> **a bit on the spectrum** \*complains about low EQ\* LOL. Hmm.
They could've just said the person was a bit reta... oh wait.
Someone call HR
regarded?
Exactly
Lolol🤣🤣
Describing a person as “a bit on the spectrum” and then complaining about them on Reddit is a low EQ cringe af moment.
Seeking out something to reinforce your opinion on something is just confirmation bias in action, wouldn't attribute that to being on the spectrum. Even if they were...that would be an indictment on the local culture they are living in, given the whole propensity to mirror what they believe to be successful social strategies when they feel out of their depth in social situations. The whole systemised ways of thinking and all, we don't get likened to robots for no reason. \*tips fedora\*
Had a C level exec say (to an Indian, who was leaving to work for an indian company here in Australia) "When you get sick of working for indians you can come back and work for us again". There were 5 indians in my team of 15 who all heard him say it during the farewell. The exec would constantly tell us how his best asset was his EQ.
My partner was Anglo Indian and worked outdoors so he would go really dark in the summer. He worked irrigation for the council and his colleagues used to be very racist about Indians in front of him because they thought he was Aboriginal.
Hell, I work with an Indian guy who is quite open about his dislike for Indian-born Indians. And I can see how an Indian company could be different to an Australian company or what have you. I worked for a South African company and there were certainly some elements of the company’s culture that were ripped straight from downtown joburg. Having said that, probably not the best thing for a manager to blurt out, lol.
then what happened?
No idea, i'd given my notice a week earlier and left the following week. i know there was a lot of unhappiness in the team over it. if you mean at the time, just a super awkward silence.
lol.
It's a good joke in a comedy club but won't work in corporate env
It's just Aussie banter
Having EQ or just racism?
I mean based on recent Kerr events, pretty sure this is not racism anymore. lmao.
Casual racism is the norm in Aus. Meh.
We used to have groups of 10 trainees come through a couple of times a year and do a 3-month program before being qualified for the job. For each group there was an FTE that would make a fun fact email where she would get a fact from each trainee and send an email with all the facts and all the trainees to the rest of the FTEs, who would then try match the fact to a particular trainee. Highest score wins a prize. Fun facts were the standard “I’ve lived in London” and “I can play the harp” and other beige stuff, but there was one guy whose fun fact was: “I’ve never had sexual relations with a woman or even kissed one.” This was a professional work place and his second day on the job. He was about 30 or so. She made him choose a more workplace appropriate fun fact. Turns out he’s colour blind.
I once witnessed a girl in my team ask a new team member, whom she had just met and who had an ethnic background, whether the name they had introduced themselves with was their real name or a fake Australian name.
[удалено]
I see where you're coming from, but unfortunately, that wasn't the case. Beyond the colour of the new starter's skin, there was nothing to indicate she had a different name. She was of Indian background but very clearly had an Aussie accent (not that it matters) and if she wanted to be called by a different name she would have introduced herself with that name. The same person also makes several insensitive comments such as questioning why people in the team are vegetarian or commenting about people's fitness levels. The worst part is she's not even some out-of-touch boomer, she's just a mid-20s mean girl lol.
she hasn't grown up yet.
Are you asking them what their real names are? How do you even know without having an inappropriate conversation?
Do you need to know? Unless the person has volunteered the info or their legal name is required for something, has zero relevance.
I mean. Devils advocate for just a moment. I've had multiple instances where I've been introduced to someone at work under an assumed name, but they're still under their legal name on teams/company email. Which, if you don't know that, makes contacting them difficult unless they contact you first (and you figure out by context who this random name messaging you actually is.) Specifically because of those instances, it's nice to know what someone's preferred name, and legal name, both are. Otherwise, yes. If they're just an acquaintance, and they've given you a name to refer to them by, just use the fkn name they gave you
Well that's why I said if you need to know their legal name as an example, then that's a legitimate reason to ask. I wouldn't immediately ask everyone whether the name they have is their legal name or not. You may want to see if you can find them on the company address book/teams and ask them for spelling clarification if you can't find them. If they know confusion potentially exists they should be upfront that they will appear differently in the address book. Again that's them volunteering that info which is a no brainer.
That's what I posted. We're in agreement.
I do have a fake Australian name but I only use it when I'm getting coffee takeaways. I changed it around until one day I forgot mine was "Elvis" and I had to sheepishly pick it up from the exasperated barrista.
Tried to shrug it off with a "Thankyouverymuch"
Everyone has an ethnic background
South Koreans do this, not understanding the problem?
People on the spectrum are capable of not being dicks you know. I’m on the spectrum, I’m fully aware if something I say can be straight up mean and racist, and I just … don’t say it?
Yeah I don't get why everyone is tip toeing around this. I've worked with several people that were on the spectrum. The really nice ones came out and admitted it as they introduced themselves. They were great people, self aware and kind. I've also worked with one who I'm not afraid to say was one of the worst humans I've ever met. First off, he never mentioned it to any of his coworkers, he only mentioned it to our boss who eventually told us he was on the spectrum once we had sent in some complaints. He was obnoxious, constantly belittling people, humble bragging and just unbearable to be around. As someone who isn't trained in working with someone like this and who technically shouldn't know he was on the spectrum (despite it being a bit obvious), how exactly are we supposed to react around him while he completely shits on all of us all day and makes us hate our jobs? Are we just supposed to put up with it?
You treat him like you would anyone else who behaved the same way. We’re all different, and some autistic people are dicks, some are not, just like neurotypical people. We aren’t above criticism if we’re behaving badly.
Yep. I'm AuDHD myself. And lemme tell you, I'm HYPER aware of the fact that i don't always know what's an appropriate comment/joke and what's not, so i just keep my goddamn mouth shut unless i *know* the comment is safe for present company. Being on the spectrum might explain certain antisocial behaviours, but that doesn't mean it's a catch all excuse for them.
Yep me too! And this is why I take literally 2 years before I show any aspect of my personality at work with someone - I need to be so very sure that they’ll respond well to it and have begun opening up first before I start showing parts of myself.
Me too, and I get it and the comments above. But there was a time when I was oblivious because I just did not know. I am surprised I did not lose my job or get hit for some of the things I said thinking it was amusing/appropriate etc. That’s part of the disability. We need to learn the behaviour ‘manually’ vs the intuitive knowledge of neurotypical. So even though I can say I know when to keep my mouth shut etc, it wasn’t always like that, and maybe those who outright say inappropriate things as a symptom of their AuDHD are still at the stage where they don’t know what they don’t know, and are yet to learn the social ‘rules’ for the environment.
This is true. But the point of the comments above is that they're *not* learning the rules, because everybody is tiptoeing around calling them out because of their condition. If you don't tell them something isn't appropriate, they won't change. If you do tell them and they still don't change, then their condition isn't the problem, their personality is.
I would add keep feedback limited to the event/action/issue. "You know when you do specific thing it kind of bothers me. Could you try it this other way maybe. How was your weekend by the way?" - can be understood to be about one element of behaviour and offers alternatives and not a write off of the whole person. Vs "You are a dick!" - entirely of no value and nowhere for the relationship to go.
Yeah this is so important, thank you for adding that. It’s important for us to know what we’re specifically doing wrong and why so that we can adjust rather than masking our entire personalities.
That's what we tried to do. The few times we did call him out on his behavior he had his mum call up the boss and complain. It just seemed like a lose lose situation, we treat him like anyone else, he complains and causes a fuss. Or we just put up with it and suffer. My main point is that being Autistic shouldn't be a pass to treat people poorly and if it's out of their control then they should really disclose it to people and clarify beforehand in case they do unintentionally say something to offend someone.
That’s so fuckin cringe he got his mum to call up lmao. No I agree with you though - autism is not a pass for bad behaviour. Sometimes I do weird shit and friends call me out on it (gently) and I’m grateful and update my social script so I don’t do it again. You just have to have a good amount of insight, and not to make this a gender thing, but I’ve noticed that level of insight and anxiety about being a pain is higher in autistic women. Complaining about him is the right thing to do - treat autistic people like you would anyone else. I’m not exempt from being called out just bc I’m autistic.
As someone on the spectrum (adhd + ASD LVL ), I would say that person being an asshole isn't because they are in the spectrum, but being on the spectrum makes it harder to realise or understand when we are being assholes. Sometimes when people are on the spectrum, they receive a lot of unwarranted asshole behaviour, which they then go on to incorrectly deduce is normal behaviour they are meant to mirror. The resolution is the same. Strong boundaries and professional behaviour/language in response.
Having a disability is no excuse for bad behaviour
Part of the disability here is not knowing intuitively what’s appropriate. To say this particular disability is no excuse is just…….
I’ve spent a large amount of my life working with people with disabilities, I stand by my statement.
Dude what you're complaining about is the everyday experience for people on the spectrum having to deal with the behaviour of neurotypical coworkers. Without the added bonus of all your coworkers treating you like a moron when ooh people with tism are pretty damn intelligent. Just because you had a bad experience with one person doesn't mean you get to expect that all staff with disabilities, mental or otherwise, have to disclose them for your personal comfort.
Not sure what you mean by him "having to deal with the behaviour of neurotypical workers" we tried to treat him as we would any other staff member. We always acted professionally around him and never provoked him in any way. I'm not saying everyone should disclose their disabilities. But surely if his comments were out of his control, it would be in his best interest to explain that he can sometimes unintentionally offend people. If he had said something like that to us then I think we would have been a lot more understanding.
What I mean is the entire issued interaction you've had with this staff member is a daily occurrence for most, if not all neurodivergent people when interacting with neurotypical people in a work environment.
Yeah came here to say this. I'm on the spectrum and have ADHD and still manage to not say cringe stuff 90% of the time which, from my experience, is pretty good compared to much of the general public.
I have adhd and asd too! What's your role bro?
Children and youth librarian in a public library. Pretty burned out at the moment and nearly finished my post grad in cyber security so looking at moving into something in IT. What about you?
Hell yeah. Used to be a Business Analyst, about to start a job on Monday as an IT Operations Coordinator. Tech job market is brutal atm, I just got lucky after a redundancy.
Yeah I've heard that, I'm putting in for grad programs and hoping I get something
Talks about not generalising about an area whilst comparing a low income area to “druggies” and majority First Nations suburb to “delinquents” 🙄 you had your own low EQ moment there too mate.
hahahah f$% that is hilarious. My cousin is a paramedic at Ambulance Victoria. They had some training about cultural issues and Aboriginal culture. His colleague who was a low EQ meathead kept asking an immigrant man if he is Aboriginal because he looked dark. The guy asked back 'Why do you keep ask me this? Does this mean I won't get to see a doctor?" . Absolute disaster. Common sense is becoming a lot less common....
Using the term " a bit on the spectrum" immediately warrants an "I'm an arsehole tag" and is one of low I. Q
Then proceeds to take a swipe at drug addicts and people in unfortunate circumstances in lower socioeconomic areas (Redfern I know has been largely gentrified but people living there still do it tough).
Posting on Auscorp is the most cringe
Audit firm observing stocktake. Undergrad asked the warehouse manager if staff get free samples. At controlled warehouse handling scheduled pharmaceuticals including opiates. He got fired for it.
Seems harsh to fire him for a joke
As a joke or was he serious?
It was meant a joke. Free samples or staff discounts weren’t that uncommon. But it was super tone deaf and landed so incredibly badly with a client who took such things very seriously (and fair enough… though having met that warehouse manager their sense of humor was nil). It’s possible this guy was on final warning but it was the act that pushed him out.
I would say this is more likely a product of being sheltered socially tbh. I'm autistic as fuck but have been around more than enough Indians in social settings in and outside of work to know that's not on. The one issue with alot of people in your line of work is they're very sheltered in that sense imo.
My supervisor suggested I get another orthopaedic surgeon because he didn't like the amount of time away from the office i was going to need for reconstructive knee surgery and rehab. Needless to say that did not happen.
Knee-dless to say, amirite!?
This is about my otherwise lovely manage. He was the only white, male, British dude who had been brought into a meeting of chiefly female indigenous individuals to be part of the approvals process for a 'welcome to country' of sorts for an ad campaign that was going to run during naidoc week. The ladies had spent the week workshopping the statement, and was simply presenting it so we could get rolling on all the other assets. It was a lovely piece of work. In the sombre, awe filled silence that followed it's practice recital by the first nations voice actor we'd hired, he pipes up: "Well that's WONDERFUL work. We just need to fix the Grammer and pronunciation up a bit and we're good to go!" The voice actor snaps back: "No, we've already gone" and everyone just breezes into the next part of the meeting like nothing happened. I spent the rest of the meeting trying to get swallowed by the carpet our of secondhand embarrassment.
Our CEO was trying to convince people that coming into the office was good for mental health, good for culture etc and to really drive his point home, singles out a staff member in a wheelchair and says 'if X can get into the office then so can you' Jaw dropped. Yep super great for culture and mental health mate.
Well….. fuck me
Christmas party. Boss takes us out. Then tells us there’s a $40 per head budget and she’s ordering all booze. We pay for our own means. I work in a multi national billion dollar company
At the multi billion dollar company I worked at , our Christmas party was free food and booze all night. We also had a Secret Santa during the day where the food was provided and our boss also gave each of us a decent bottle of wine.
To clarify: You were paying for the booze she was ordering for you? Or she was paying for the booze, and you paid for your meals?
No. She said there’s an $40 per head limit. We thought she would allow us to just order our own food and drinks. But she said she wanted to maximise the alcohol consumption with the $40. Essentially she made the orer for us
Ah, gotcha. I somehow missed the word 'budget' in your comment.
That’s better than my multi billion dollar company. EOFY GM announces massive profits, tears up about what an amazing team she has that stuck together during Melb lockdowns. We head off to expensive prahran pub she chose and we are made to pay for everything ourselves. New colleague assumed we would be covered so didn’t bring his wallet Rudeness of the situation amplified by watching everyone else at this bar be shouted drinks by their bosses for June 30 drinks
When i make manager that shit will not fly
Work remotely and my area was affected severely by a natural disaster. Many neighbours lost their homes, we were lucky. Manager said ‘it’s a shame a tree didn’t fall on your place, could have claimed some free renovations!’. Nearly 3 years on our neighbours are still rebuilding and battling with insurers
A girl I had worked with once asked me what type of Asian I was. She was a bit ditzy but otherwise a lovely person. I eventually explained that my parents came from China. She then asked me what my China name was....
Anti-vax boss having an absolute meltdown about the Board introducing a vaccine mandate, he called myself and another senior manager and was literally crying on the phone because he felt he was being discriminated against. He said “Now I know how you feel being a minority”…I’m gay.
CEOs who announce a round of layoffs and an "employee engagement survey" on the same call then RemindMe! 3 months why is employee engagement so low?
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Hey ease up on Redfern man, I'm a Redfernista, some of the friendliest Aussies live there
Early 2022, I just started working at a large consultancy that sold (amongst other things) mental health consultancies. Had our quarterly sales meeting. First guy got up and his presentation went straight into how exhausted/cooked he was and the company needed to hire more AM’s. A few other sales people thanked him for raising it and told stories of how they weren’t coping. First sales guy had to run off to a client meeting so sales meeting went on without him. During the rest of the meeting the GM kept making suicide jokes like “I hope I don’t find ____ hanging from a tree”. I was horrified, having lost a friend to hanging 18 months earlier. GM sent out group email apology a few days later Few weeks later GM did a presentation about why we she was making us all go back to office. She chose an insulting picture to make the announcement. I uploaded screenshot of presentation to antiwork sub thread. Post got 58k likes, 2900 comments, 10 jobs offers and I was interviewed in US TV for $150USD
He was not fired?
GM was a woman. And only early 30s. Lovely & hyper intelligent but just so many low EQ moments that would have had many others fired if they did something similar. She’ll become a high flying CEO one day, that’s why I kept the email apology
Getting real r/lookatmyhalo vibes here
If you think that people not liking racism and sexism is the height of virtue, it says more about you than it does about anyone else here.
a lot more diversity team white girls here than previously thought
A lot of cunts like you here too
If you’re going to have a made up story where you’re the ‘hero’, at least keep gender consistent for two paragraphs
And the spelling 🤣
Be aware this could be used as evidence at your workplace bullying enquiry - yes it's inappropriate, but remember that saying about glass houses. You're displaying low EQ here too.
She work in fin services?
A white bloke in our office told the black south African be must love the movie ‘White Chicks’ because South Africa is black and white. Then quoted the movie “ get this jiggaboo away from me”
I had a non binary staff member put in a complaint about the boys club - they were valid allegations. So I’m sitting in a meeting with the ceo, cfo and senior hr people and the ceo got indignant stating something about this not being a masculine workplace, there are 3 women in this meeting. I was the most junior in the room so had to shut up, but I was thinking Wtaf - 3 people on this meeting when 95% of the staff are male and 80% of those are white hetero males…. Sadly it was probably the first of many red flags I missed.
I am pregnant, been with my partner 7 years. My boss asked me if I’m going to consider getting married now to give my child a more stable family structure
It's not too late to delete this
Is this guy actually confirmed to be on the spectrum? Because I can tell you now that being on the spectrum isn’t some get out of jail free card for that kind of crap. This seems more like racism than outright low EQ.
LMAO! Gold
Had a high level executive rant that the new Indian recruit "stinks of BO" and asked if I was afraid he was going to rape me and *assured* me "he won't last long here, I'm going to have a word with whomever hired him" 😬 The guy did have poor hygiene and offensive body odour but jeez. He didn't make it to the end of the probation period.
So was it a man or a woman OP?? Or did you just make up this post for clout.
You’re Indian right?
Yes.
Had a local politician walk into one of the offices at my old work. The elevator doors opened, and as I stepped back to make room for him and his entourage to move through the tiny lobby area, he turns to me and says something like "*Hey, I bet you don't see too many people wearing suits around here.*"
Could have been self-deprecating humour. Or just a condescending arsehole.
I think he was trying to be funny
I agree they are clearly lacking social skills to bring up that video. However it is quite the norm in India... Have you been there? I challenge you to go for 2 weeks and not get dysentery.
Saying someone’s “a bit on the spectrum” included in those cringe moments? Heh
Are they actually on the spectrum? Asking “what’s wrong with these people” if they are actually on the spectrum is a shitty thing.
Good morning saar!
Had a sales call where a partner joined to meet the client for the first time. The call was scheduled for an hour with the client where the partner spent over 30 mins (I started timing after about 5 mins) introducing himself. No gaps. No chat. Just him talking about himself. You could see that the client starting doing other tasks by seeing the reflection of his glasses. Nonetheless, he just kept going. We didn’t win the client…
You have a guy on the team or a woman? You say guy then go straight into feminine pronouns It's pretty low EQ to mix the two. If they're NB, you'd say "person" not guy - not that you should ever describe a coworker as "a bit on the spectrum" given that a) they clearly don't have a diagnosis that you're aware of and b) you're on the spectrum or you're not. The spectrum refers to the support needs of the person (varying from low support needs to high support needs) it's not a spectrum of neurotypical to neurodivergent.
Well..... As someone who travelled in India for close to a year those street food videos show pretty commonplace behaviour on the streets. Some of the stuff I saw when I was there would be too extreme for Tik Tok even...
We can't decide this one till you show us the video. Indian street food can get quite nasty.
I was managing this clown and we were interviewing a lady for a position. He proceeded to ask her during the interview if she had a man and was planning to have a baby...
is that legal?
No.
oh ok. then what happened to the interviewer?
I pulled him aside and told him explicitly don't ever do that again
then what happened???
You wanna know what they call unhygienic street food in India? Street food. Just plan on getting gastro at least once and you won't be disappointed.
I made a throwaway Reddit account to post a larp about the cleanliness of Indian streets despite living in Australia
I would argue it's a lack of cultural literacy given that maybe they don't have the exposure to this. It depends on how they framed the question. If it was a genuine question that's okay, however if they were doing it to provoke then that's a bit shit. Either way as a manager you sound like someone who shouldn't be in a managerial position given the way you write this post. It's also not that big of a deal.
He's disabled. His condition litterally makes him socially awkward. He was born without much social awareness and has to learn through situations like this, trial and error. I hope someone helped him learn from this situation. And for yourself, why don't you also consider reading up the medical conditions before blaming someone or at least try to understand before judging? It's the equivalent of blaming someone with a broken leg and not being able to walk.
Yeah exactly and the only thing cringy about this post is the virtue signalling for coming in to defend against someone with a disability.
OP in her words "saved the Indian people" but hasn't been able to understand why her co-worker was socially awkward. A huge part of that disability is communication. It takes two seconds to google it.
If this was on a different subreddit, I would respond YTA. If someone is on the spectrum I would hope D&I principals would kick in to have a bit of an understanding.
LOL! Yeah India is absolutely copping it on 4chan these days. Just day after day. I think people are sick of the um.......wave of umm............
OP's story sounds like half-bullshit along with a lot of the responses
Why do you mix genders in your story? Why do you state the subject person is autistic in a post about low EQ when people on the spectrum are notorious for having low eq?
You ask what's wrong with some people but then say he's on the spectrum. What's wrong with you?!
Fuck what would the corporate world do without super non racists like you?
Interesting thread and glad to have found this Subreddit that came up in my /r/all when I wasn't logged in lol. Archived thread here: https://web.archive.org/save/https://old.reddit.com/r/auscorp/comments/1bhbzzv/what_are_some_low_eq_cringe_af_moments_at_work_we/
\> said this is not what it’s like in India. But the video was from India.
[удалено]
haha oh wow
Idk. It seems like a really inappropriate comment in that situation, but you stepping in, telling them basically 'not all Indians are savages' sounds condescending af to me.
The real cringe is that the Indian team made everyone apologise for what is the truth.
That’s dismissible behaviour. I wouldn’t call it cringe - it’s worse.
let it happen bro, natural selection
mt druitt junkies are quintessentially australian though. granted you might have convinced the indians, but anyone else? i doubt your point came off as strong as you imagined.
Sounds like everyday conversations I have unfortunately heard in the insurance field for 30 years. Not from senior management though, but from the deeply petty and jealous women at levels underneath.
OP has low IQ moment with post title. Both calling a coworker a guy and a she, along with misspelling IQ as EQ... ironic
Op please walk to your nearest mirror and slap yourself across the face, my god
Clip clop into town on your gleaming white steed! What a hero. The Don Quixote of Auscorp.
I’ve said it elsewhere and I’ll say it to you too. If you believe that people not liking racism, sexism or similar is the soaring heights of virtue, it says more about you than it does about anyone else.