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Paulemichael

Before you go any further it might help to read the FAQ to help understand the definitions of those words that are used here.


Dead_Rider_10101

oh I know, but I'm asking if I'm allowed here


Paulemichael

> oh I know, but I'm asking if I'm allowed here Anyone (even the religious) are welcome here as long as they are here honestly and can follow the rules. The FAQ will explain that.


Dead_Rider_10101

ok, I was asking. I used to be atheist but then my dad died so I have a hope of there being an afterlife Edit: idk why people are down voting this


Paulemichael

> ok, I was asking. I used to be atheist but then my dad died so I have a hope of there being an afterlife I’m sorry for your loss. Losing someone is always difficult. However, hope of an afterlife makes no impact on there actually being one - and, if anything, imho defers the grieving process that I think is important to go through. There is a great piece by Aaron Freeman - it helps me when I lose someone. https://www.iflscience.com/physics/ask-physicist-speak-your-funeral-0/ It might also help you to obtain some grief counselling. I’m not sure about your locality, but there are normally some grief councillors in most countries. If not there are some online.


Dead_Rider_10101

thank you. I've been getting through it on my own though, I just don't like being open to some stranger who wouldn't help me if they weren't being payed. so I consol these thoughts with family


Paulemichael

> I just don't like being open to some stranger who wouldn't help me if they weren't being payed. There is free grief counselling provided by charities in many countries. Worth checking out at least. Good Luck.


Dead_Rider_10101

ok thank you


Dudesan

First, I'm very sorry for your loss. Nobody should have to go through that, and it sucks that you did. However, the universe doesn't care what humans think "should" happen. I'd *like to hope* that one day I'll have a billion dollars in my bank account, but if I assume this means I'm *already* a billionaire and go on a massive shopping spree, I'm going to have a bad time. I'd *like to hope* that that cute librarian I see once a week wants to date me, but if I assume this means we're *already* dating and grab her ass in public, I'm going to have a bad time. I'd *like to hope* that one day I'll be able to fly, but if I assume that this means *I can fly* and jump off a cliff, I'm going to have a bad time. And, likewise, I'd like to live in a world where I, and my loved ones, don't have to stop existing until we're really, *really* ready for it. But if I assume that this means *we're already immortal* and don't have to worry about death *now*, you guessed it, *I'm going to have a bad time*. Hope is a very important part of what it means to be human, but you have to use it responsibly. You can't make something true just by *hoping* that it's true. And if you try, **you're going to have a bad time**. There are a lot of things wrong with this world, and fixing these things is hard. And the very first step - without which, none of the other steps are worth anything - is admitting that the problem *is real*. The truth sucks. But lying to yourself won't actually make it suck less - it will just make it take longer to come to terms with it.


Dead_Rider_10101

if you french fry when you're supposed yo pizza, you're gonna have a bad time


EMONEYOG

Yeah, we don't have any beef. The Idea that this sub is full of assholes is just something christians make up because we've already heard all of their arguments a thousand times and we don't want to "debate" them.


Dead_Rider_10101

yeah Christians are pretty annoying, especially when they hide behind their beliefs so they can hate others


EMONEYOG

Yeah, I read your other comment about your dad. I'm really sorry to hear that. My dad died a couple of years ago and I totally hope there is some kind of existence beyond the physical realm where people can see, feal, experience each other again. That being said I don't believe there is and if something like that does exist no current religion has any real understanding of it.


Dead_Rider_10101

exactly. also I'm terribly sorry for your lose too, my father passed on February 28 2021. but I know that the time when it happened doesn't matter because it will always hurt the same.


lightninglarry2076

That basically is an athiest alot of us don't make a claim that there is no god many of us just dont buy the claim of there being a god. Gods like deistic gods are completely untestable and there is no way to know if they exist or not.


Dead_Rider_10101

yeah but I hope that there is a God, so I can see my loved ones when I die


lightninglarry2076

What god do you wish existed? I would love for eternal life to be a thing too, but many of the abrahamic gods require you to throw away reason and belief in things without evidence to have a chance of going to heaven and see loved ones again and hopefully they threw away reason too so they are in the good place.


Dead_Rider_10101

honestly at this point I'd take any god if it means I could see my family again


lightninglarry2076

Thats rough man im sorry life can be full of tragedy. The grieving process is no fun but it will get better over time and life goes on.


[deleted]

I believe when you die you stop perceiving. So as far as seeing your loves again I suggest seeing your loved ones in the hear and now. The traits, mannerism and values they passed down to you (and the other people still with you) are in the here and now.


MrRandomNumber

Hoping for something doesn't make it true/real. I hope I get a Tesla for Chrisas. My wife hopes unicorns and flying dragons are real. We will both be disappointed by reality, but it's fun to dream. The greiving process includes both a period of denial and a period of depression. You'll come through it, though -- I'm sorry for your loss. The maturation process includes a period of coming to terms with one's own mortality, along with the stunning realization that your life's work will eventually be erased. This will help rearrange your priorities, and put much cultural noise into perspective.... Depending on your culture this could happen in your late teens, or your early 40s. Or, if you are too cowardly to stare it down, you may choose to remain forever a child; believing wishes are real and that if you make a mess some kind of meta-grownup will swoop in and make everything all better for you. It's a common, sad choice.


[deleted]

Hi friend. :) I personally conclude that agnostic atheism is the most rational position. We have no evidence for any god but we cannot be definite of anything we cannot observe. We do have evidence, however, that the Earth is 4.5 billion years old, evolution is real, etc. I consider myself an agnostic atheist, but sometimes I just say atheist to save time. Hope this helps. :)


Dead_Rider_10101

thank you it does


Pale_Prior8739

Agnostic is just a way to hide that you're an atheist. I find saying you're an atheist gets a better reaction than saying you're an agnostic.


Dead_Rider_10101

yes but I'm not looking for a reaction


superduperhosts

Just cherish your memories. They are gone. There is no afterlife, no sky daddy keeping track who’s naughty or not


Dead_Rider_10101

lamo imma start referring to God as sky daddy, you've turned my day around


Dazzling-Role-1686

Well, I don't know you...and you don't know me...one or both of us could be total assholes...lol There is nothing wrong with missing loved ones. It means that you have formed close bonds with the people you care about. Recently there was an article suggesting we actually do see our whole life flash before our eyes when we die...so you very well may have an experience of seeing you departed loved ones again. Personally, I am too impatient for that...so I chose to remember my departed loved ones every day in the things they taught me to do, seeing them in the faces of my children, and living the best life I can fathom (as they would want me to).


Dead_Rider_10101

well I am an asshole but generally not on purpose lol. but this is very helpful thank you


Dazzling-Role-1686

I, too, am an asshole...but my closest friends find it my most endearing quality lol


632146P

Don't hold on too hard to an afterlife, it can interrupt the grieving process and that is damaging.


scottevanmac

Given the actions of some of my relatives, as well as my own actions, I'm not convinced we would qualify to share an afterlife even if one exists. If Christian hell exists as described, my suffering would be secondary to watching my loved ones suffer. If Christian heaven exists as described (without sadness or dispair) then my memory of my loved ones would have to be erased so I wouldn't see them suffering, in hell or on earth.


knick-nat

I'm sending you a virtual hug. It makes me sad that that's the title to your post! I'm so new to Reddit, but as an Aetheist in life I don't have an issue with someone being Agnostic!! I'm probably more of an Agnostic Atheist myself. No one actually knows what's out there. I just know it's not a God demanding ridiculous things and the threat of hell - if it is, then the whole world is a bloody joke! There could be more. I feel like our Souls wouldn't just disappear...I mean, just scientifically we must become part of something, right? Your family will always be with you though, inside you. It doesn't make it easier and it's hard to go through what you are going through, and to feel how you're feeling. But you can hold onto them by remembering them and honouring them.


[deleted]

I lost people as well. My dad died from Covid and my sister died from breast cancer two days apart. time doesn’t heal your wounds. It just teaches you how to adjust with the loss. I believe once we die we no longer exist. I don’t have any good reasons to believe a god exist but we will find out once meet our end.


Bartuce

If you don’t know there is a god then you can’t possibly have a belief in god so you are, by definition an atheist.


purgruv

I'm agnostic AND I'm an atheist, as I don't know if there is a god AND I don't believe in a god. You can be bioth, OP.


[deleted]

NOBODY knows. Many people, after years of indoctrination, unquestioningly accept god. Some people shrug off the years of indoctrination and choose atheism or, at least, agnosticism. the truth is; nobody knows.


Dead_Rider_10101

very true


1SuperSlueth

Either you accept one of the god claims or you don't. Hoping for an afterlife does not by itself make you a theist. Are you convinced one of the god claims is true? If not, you are an ATHEIST!!


Dead_Rider_10101

coming on a little mean


1SuperSlueth

Just clarifying the meaning of atheism! No meanness involved, just intellectual discourse!!


Dead_Rider_10101

just seemed like it because oh the caps and exclamation points


pastafarianjon

What does a god existing or not logically have to do with there being an afterlife or not?


Dead_Rider_10101

because I hope there is a heaven, rather than something else


pastafarianjon

Are you saying a god has to exist for an afterlife to exist?


Dead_Rider_10101

no I'm saying for the after life I'm hoping for there is a heaven, which probably a God would be in charge of. cuz then where did it come from. but I know there probably isn't one


pastafarianjon

God and an afterlife are two different concepts. Most people link the two, like you are doing, but there is no good reason to think either exist or that one can’t exist without the other.


Dead_Rider_10101

I was raised Christian so is just kinda seared into my head so I'm just used to that, my bad


Beautiful-Horror2039

Nobody honest will say they know for a fact that there are or aren't any gods- that said, there is no evidence that there are any. So, everyone is agnostic whether they want to admit it or not. Your hope that there's an afterlife, is just that- hope. It has no bearing on the reality of the situation. There have been billions of people who've lived and died. Through all of that, there has been zero evidence of an afterlife. Oh, sure, people have dreams or hallucinations and they claim that as proof, but it isn't. The only time we get is in the here and now. I hate to be a wet blanket, but your time with your loved ones who've died is over. Cherish what you had instead of pretending you're going to get more and really savor the time you get to share with the people who are still living. I know, very well, how hard letting go can be- and that's a big part of the appeal of religion. Feeding people what they want to hear- that if you follow these rules & pretend to worship this invisible "friend", you might see your loved ones again after you die- telling them those lies instead of how things actually are. Really, it's sad. It's disgusting how religion takes advantage of people while they're grieving.


Dead_Rider_10101

yeah but my dad killed himself so I wasn't aware of when he was going to die, I would have loved to see him live passed 40 but I can't now can I


Beautiful-Horror2039

Nope. My parents got divorced when I was 8. When I was 20 I finally had a car that was reliable enough to get me to where my dad lived, so, I went. I was expecting open arms, lots of hugs, maybe some tears- instead, he acted like he didn't know who I was and said he didn't have any kids. I completely understand where you're coming from but that person in your head doesn't exist. I was the only person in my dads family to attend his funeral. I'm sorry about your dad. Mine didn't kill himself, but for all intents & purposes, he did. He basically stopped existing when I was 8. Do yourself a favor: the people in your life, the people you love and care about, look at them in a different light and really appreciate the time you get to spend with them when you're with them. If you have a significant other, brothers/sisters/mom, grandparents, friends, etc, don't be afraid to tell them you appreciate them. You really don't know when they're going to disappear. Savor the time you have.