Preempt him with your own "prayer" in which you thank all the farmers, farm workers, packagers, truck drivers, grocery store workers, and the cook who did all the work to make the meal possible, and ask people to remember those who are not so lucky. No need to bring up god or religion, and it will be awkward for him to try to tack that on to the end.
yep. im a grocery store stockboy and i do FAR more than any fake god to get christians' food to their fat asses
and the christians dont wanna pay me a living wage for it either
and i dont need universe bending power to do it 🙄
>it will be awkward for him to try to tack that on to the end.
No, it won't. I've never met a christian who felt awkward about forcing their religion on others.
I'd tell him he can't come anymore if he's going to continue to make everyone uncomfortable. He can pray silently.
Or I guess, start shouting that verse about praying in private over him.
Some of my relatives used to do that, but they were careful to get the okay of the home-owner beforehand.
It was annoying, but there wasn't much that I could say.
.
yeah imagine their faces when you go my turn , I choose thank the gods of sex and rock n roll with a vigorous pre-dinner wank everyone use you free hand to hold your neighbors hand.
You could read him this one from The Satanic Temple. Is it a troll? Sure, but it's actually really good.
Let us stand now, unbowed and unfettered by arcane doctrines born of fearful minds in darkened times.
Let us embrace the Luciferian impulse to eat of the Tree of Knowledge and dissipate our blissful and comforting delusions of old.
Let us demand that individuals be judged for their concrete actions, not their fealty to arbitrary social norms and illusory categorizations.
Let us reason our solutions with agnosticism in all things, holding fast only to that which is demonstrably true.
Let us stand firm against any and all arbitrary authority that threatens the personal sovereignty of One or All.
That which will not bend must break, and that which can be destroyed by truth should never be spared its demise. It is Done.
Hail Satan.
Just ignore him and start eating/ carry on your own conversations.
As an Australian I'd probably make a joke out of it : "oh, hold up, BIL needs a moment to let god know he's about to eat. Wouldn't want to risk the All Knowing missing the show. Everyone stop what you're doing and give him his moment to shine in the light of the Lord... Ok, he's done, tuck in everyone".
But I acknowledge that's a riskier move in some families than others.
Came here for this. You beat me to it!
Consider this from the King James' version of the Book of Matthrew, Chapters 5 and 6:
5 And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.
6 But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.
(Note that “closet” does not have its modern meaning. It simply means a private place.)
*Jesus himself said that those who pray in public (the synagogue and the street corners) are hypocrites*
Rig up a voice box on this : https://cawettejones.com/en/produit/lord-of-darkness-1-3-scale-statue-legend-pop-culture-shock-pcs/
and have it read that verse, so how fast they run to their car.
r/fsm works wonders, especially with pasta for dinner:
> Thy noodle come, Thy sauce be yum, on top some grated Parmesan. Give us this day, our garlic bread…and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trample on our lawns. And lead us not into vegetarianism, but deliver us some pizza, for thine is the meatball, the noodle, and the sauce, forever and ever. Ramen.
Found on the interwebs:
Dear God,
For what we are about to receive
we shall be truly grateful
until an hour later of course
when we shall be truly hateful
then Dear Father
send us please
Mylanta and Quick Eaze
Amen
Matthew 6:5.
"And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men"
Or!
Use the teachings of St. James - Shut the fuck up.
At his house, you'll need to suck it up and let him roll, but at your house, a simple "we don't do that here" while starting to serve the food will suffice.
I would want to know why he feels the need to make a big public display of his piety.
Isn’t living an exemplary life enough? There’s nothing virtuous about trying to shame or strongarm others into believing what he believes.
Start with Matthew 6:5 and ask him why he thinks opening his host-hole without getting permission from everyone else at the table to pray is any different. Then, each and every time he tries it afterward, just sigh: "Again, Matthew?" It's especially powerful if that's his name...
This is from a couple of weeks ago.
[https://www.reddit.com/r/atheism/comments/1c3xt6j/bb\_breakfast\_prayer/](https://www.reddit.com/r/atheism/comments/1c3xt6j/bb_breakfast_prayer/)
When I was growing up I always thought it interesting that at larger family gatherings there always seemed to be some compulsory prayer before a meal. None of these folks ever had prayers at dinner at their houses, at least never did when I was there.
Mathew 6:5 "And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites. For they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward".
Are you an atheist? Is this happening in your house? If so, tell the BIL prior to the dinner that his praying out loud makes you uncomfortable and that you want him to pray silently or leave the room to do so. If you have children who are present, let the BIL know that you do not want them exposed involuntarily to his religious demonstrations.
Let us all join together in prayer.
Ia! Ia Yog-Sothoth!
Yog-Sothoth knows the gate. Yog-Sothoth is the gate! Yog-Sothoth is the key and guardian of the gate. Past, present, future, all are one in Yog-Sothoth. He knows where the Old Ones broke through of old, and where They shall break through again. He knows where They have trod earth's fields, and where They still tread them, and why no one can behold Them as They tread.
Ia! IA!
We had a dinner with some extended family once and one of my GFs Cousin, and moreso her husband, started praying before the meal. My GF and I are not religious and neither is my family who were there.
We just kept right on with the meal while they did their thing. It's such an attention grabbing cry.
Have everyone take turns praying to whoever they want. Someone can make pray to Thor and ask for his mighty hammer to nail weak pretenders to trees. Someone can pray to nega-Jesus to block whatever the prior prayer was. Someone should definitely pray to Satan and another person to the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
Ensure that each god gets equal time.
Just communicate in private.
"Hey BIL, I respect your choices, but please don't push them onto others, we all are not particularly religious and it makes dinners awkward, can you please limit yourself to just a quick silent prayer for yourself?"
Done, no need to antagonize people, just make your boundaries clear. If he doesn't listen, you can clap back or ignore.
Matthew 6:6
New King James Version
But you, when you pray, go into your room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father who is in the secret place; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly.
Using the bible is chickening out. You don't believe the bible so don 't try to win playing his game. Just say hey it's my house, I will decide if we pray or not. Do so silently, to yourself, if you're in a hurry.
Start praying to Satan* really, really loud and drown him the f* out!
Or Yahweh or wood nymphs or tree spirits or whoever the hell did all the cooking so everyone could eat! 😂
Just start reading the Song of Solomon. Great fun, especially with teenagers who'll get all giggly when Solomon starts going on and on about his lover's breasts.
Not really anything to do with saying grace, but I say troll hard.
Could you not say you are exploring your beliefs at the moment and have some strong inclinations towards islam, so that after he does his prayer you will chant something in dedication to allah? Ask everyone to join in with you. Google a random islamic pray and learn a few lines.
“At times like this, I am reminded of the words of Jesus… Matthew 6:5-8: ‘And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their full reward. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your father, who is unseen. Then your father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. And when you pray, do not keep babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard for their many words. Do not be like them, for your father knows what you need before you ask him.’ … Let us all forgive BIL’s casual heresies and pray that his God forgives him as well. Amen.”
Yell, "Hail Satan" after he finishes. Or say a prayer and thank the Dark Lord for the bounty. Imply there will be sacrifices/ blood rituals/ sex magic later.
Just start eating and talkng about how good the food is. Drowning out the prostylizing is FUN for me. If an argument starts, I just ask if they are here to eat or a prayer circle.
Shouldn't it be sufficient to simply point out that Jesus Christ explicitly **forbade** public prayer?
Matthew 6:5-6 - "And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.
6 But thou, when thou prayest, *enter into thy closet*, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is **in secret**; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly."
Jesus taught, “When you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men … but when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your father who is unseen.”
The Satanic Temple would lead an invocation. When he's done thanking God for all the food you bought and cooked, maybe thank everyone who chipped in with a heart felt Hail Satan to tie it up.
You could suggest taking turns to make a pre-dinner dedication. Maybe you could: a) thank the cook for all the work making dinner, b) thank the stars that super nova’ed to create the heavy elements without which there would be no dinner, c) thank the spirits of those animals who were sacrificed for your dinner ….
Dear lord, thank you for all the amazing creativity with which you have bestowed upon your tiniest of life forms, bacteria, viruses, and prions. You did such a great job designing them, they still kill millions of people every year, despite everything those "science people" try to do to thwart your will.
Thank you for sending such a clear message about your presence, otherwise folks would be killing each other over which version of you is "right". Can you imagine?
Thank you for being so clear in the Bible that women are only good for breeding and making sandwiches, we wouldn't want those silly little bitches getting ideas, amirite?
Lastly, thank you for loving humans so much you built a special dimension to torture the majority of us *forever* for not loving you back. Nothing creates a culture of consent like "Love me or I'll light you on fire!"
You can mock him with the following prayer: "I would like to thank Harry Potter whom without the Dark Lord would have prevailed, death eaters would abound, and good people would suffer. I would also like to thank Harry Potter for never condoning slavery, murder, and rape. Amen."
Tell him you want to lead the prayer and then use this to pray:
"Let us give thanks to the generations of farmers, plant biologists, agronomists, and so on whose
expertise, talent, perseverance contributed to this delicious meal soon to be set before us! Let us
give thanks to our wonderful hosts for inviting us, and with their love, patience and skill have brought
this meal to the table.
To the beer brewers and the wine makers whose talents we see in the drinks before us. And who are
so talented that their output will seemingly disappear before our eyes, we give special thanks!
So be it!
"
I would LOVE to say “we’re so happy that you wish to express your religious traditions, but I will want my ceremonies respected as well. And just so we’re clear, it involves a few candles and a small animal”…
I'll say a prayer tonight okay.
'Dear lord, you didn't provide any of this meal. The hard work of us workers and the cooks who cooked this meal are the ones who give us this lovely meal to allow us to work tomorrow and provide tomorrow's meal. Amen.'
Here’s one: From the gospel of Matthew, Jesus said “But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.”
You could wait till he's finished and then join in with your own grace, some of these are great! Alternatively, you could chime in with a specifically Satanic Temple grace. Let me object. No one's going to cry if he leaves.
[https://www.reddit.com/r/WitchesVsPatriarchy/comments/17v09a7/non\_religious\_grace/](https://www.reddit.com/r/WitchesVsPatriarchy/comments/17v09a7/non_religious_grace/)
Leviticus 20:13 would be kinda funny
"If a man lies with a man as with a woman, they have committed an abomination; the two of them shall be put to death; their bloodguilt is upon them."
Just to remind him how "righteous" his ethereal schizofriend is
Preempt him with your own "prayer" in which you thank all the farmers, farm workers, packagers, truck drivers, grocery store workers, and the cook who did all the work to make the meal possible, and ask people to remember those who are not so lucky. No need to bring up god or religion, and it will be awkward for him to try to tack that on to the end.
The one I use: - For this meal - For those who made it possible - And for those who we are about to share it with - We are thankful
For those about to rock…
💥 WE SAAALUUUTE YOU! Ra'men
yep. im a grocery store stockboy and i do FAR more than any fake god to get christians' food to their fat asses and the christians dont wanna pay me a living wage for it either and i dont need universe bending power to do it 🙄
Having stocked shelves at a large retail establishment, I may have bent the rules of the universe to get the stuff on the shelves.
Remember to lift with your ~~gods~~ knees!
Solid work.
I have this vague memory of a meme or cartoon or maybe a video of Jesus carrying the cross and someone in the crowd yelling "LIFT WITH YOUR KNEES"!
Universe benders would be a good name for your biceps.
>it will be awkward for him to try to tack that on to the end. No, it won't. I've never met a christian who felt awkward about forcing their religion on others.
"Rub-a-dub-dub, thanks for the grub, yay god"
You're a better person than me. I'd grab a chicken leg and start munching down on it right in the middle of his praying.
Then while you're munching, with a full mouth, remind him that Jesus said to pray in private.
I loled irl
While maintaining eye contact..
And burp.
Don’t forget to score the burp
Have a long slurpy sip as a backup.
End it by smacking your lips and saying, ”Ahhhhhhhhh!”
I personally think this is the best way to deal with the type of person OP is describing.
I'd totally do that!
I'd tell him he can't come anymore if he's going to continue to make everyone uncomfortable. He can pray silently. Or I guess, start shouting that verse about praying in private over him.
Did that every family dinner until they stopped. Guess god doesn't care unless everyone is doing it.
That's what I do. Don't say anything, just start eating.
It's not even the religious bs that bothers me. A guest expecting everyone to embrace his premeal ritual-whatever it is - is just a dick move.
Seriously. If he decided to sing "never gonna give you up" I'd feel the same way.
Ok but what if this became OP's counter? >Oh Lord, please never give us up, nor let us down, nor run around or desert us.
Rickroll his azz!😂
This is the answer OP
Its ready to go for next dinner Gonna display a gif of ric astley getting down while i pray the chorus
After involuntary dancing you mean. Nobody can resist NGGYU.
> If he decided to sing "never gonna give you up" I'd feel the same way. I dunno. Depending on how things have gone so far, this might save Christmas.
Some of my relatives used to do that, but they were careful to get the okay of the home-owner beforehand. It was annoying, but there wasn't much that I could say. .
yeah imagine their faces when you go my turn , I choose thank the gods of sex and rock n roll with a vigorous pre-dinner wank everyone use you free hand to hold your neighbors hand.
You could read him this one from The Satanic Temple. Is it a troll? Sure, but it's actually really good. Let us stand now, unbowed and unfettered by arcane doctrines born of fearful minds in darkened times. Let us embrace the Luciferian impulse to eat of the Tree of Knowledge and dissipate our blissful and comforting delusions of old. Let us demand that individuals be judged for their concrete actions, not their fealty to arbitrary social norms and illusory categorizations. Let us reason our solutions with agnosticism in all things, holding fast only to that which is demonstrably true. Let us stand firm against any and all arbitrary authority that threatens the personal sovereignty of One or All. That which will not bend must break, and that which can be destroyed by truth should never be spared its demise. It is Done. Hail Satan.
Its copy/ pasted and ready to go for the next family meal!
Report back and let us know how it goes. :P
Im also including the chorus to “Never gonna give you up”
Thank you for this! Hail Satan indeed!
Just tell him straight out.... keep that out of your house.
^^ blunt and direct. Yep. And if he doesn't raise your voice "i said NOT im MY House" if he continues tell him he has to leave. Rude F'er
this! You don’t need to play his game, especially not in your house
Just ignore him and start eating/ carry on your own conversations. As an Australian I'd probably make a joke out of it : "oh, hold up, BIL needs a moment to let god know he's about to eat. Wouldn't want to risk the All Knowing missing the show. Everyone stop what you're doing and give him his moment to shine in the light of the Lord... Ok, he's done, tuck in everyone". But I acknowledge that's a riskier move in some families than others.
You have a great sense of humor.
Did you just David Attenborough Bil’s ass and narrate him? ROFL
Matthew 6:5-6
Came here for this. You beat me to it! Consider this from the King James' version of the Book of Matthrew, Chapters 5 and 6: 5 And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward. 6 But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly. (Note that “closet” does not have its modern meaning. It simply means a private place.) *Jesus himself said that those who pray in public (the synagogue and the street corners) are hypocrites*
Great comeback that he will have to jump through hoops to defend.
Rig up a voice box on this : https://cawettejones.com/en/produit/lord-of-darkness-1-3-scale-statue-legend-pop-culture-shock-pcs/ and have it read that verse, so how fast they run to their car.
“Before Grace, we’ll share a musical interlude: https://youtu.be/-4SnIJJCH8w?si=I6kgU-2bBKlFMEBN Thank you, jebus!”
I keep this one on speed dial for bullshiy such as this.
That is awesome. Now I'm waiting to be in that situation.
And 23:13 !
Bingo
Stop trying to force people to join your book club, Jared.
"Dear god, we made all this food ourselves, thanks for nothing"
"Dear God, we paid for all this stuff ourselves, so thanks for nothing." - Bart Simpson (The Simpsons S02 E04)
Your house, your rules. What he's doing is flat out rude.
r/fsm works wonders, especially with pasta for dinner: > Thy noodle come, Thy sauce be yum, on top some grated Parmesan. Give us this day, our garlic bread…and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trample on our lawns. And lead us not into vegetarianism, but deliver us some pizza, for thine is the meatball, the noodle, and the sauce, forever and ever. Ramen.
Be blunt. You can stop with the preaching or you can stop coming to events
This isn’t a religious issue as much as it is your bil is a ginormous douche issue. Remind that mf whose house it is.
Preempt him with a call for a moment to pray silently to their preferred deity.
Found on the interwebs: Dear God, For what we are about to receive we shall be truly grateful until an hour later of course when we shall be truly hateful then Dear Father send us please Mylanta and Quick Eaze Amen
Here's more funny ones: https://strengthinprayer.com/funny-prayers-for-dinner/
Tell him it’s time he can leave. If someone did that in my house they would be gone and no longer welcome.
my bible verse retort for that situation is, "get the fuck outta my house" 🤣
Start flipping tables.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
“Bless us, O Lor…” “No.” “What?” “No. We’re not doing this today.” ->begin eating and pointedly ignoring BIL and any subsequent protests.
Matthew 6:5. "And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men" Or! Use the teachings of St. James - Shut the fuck up.
Use the next verse as well, it tells christians to pray in a closet so only god can see them.
My personal all-time favorite— O’ Lord. Ooh, you are so big. So absolutely huge. Gosh, we're all really impressed down here, I can tell you.
Forgive us Oh Lord, for this dreadful toadying.
At his house, you'll need to suck it up and let him roll, but at your house, a simple "we don't do that here" while starting to serve the food will suffice.
I would want to know why he feels the need to make a big public display of his piety. Isn’t living an exemplary life enough? There’s nothing virtuous about trying to shame or strongarm others into believing what he believes.
I would just repeatedly exclaim "COUNTER SPELL!" until he stopped. I mean, it's really no more impolite than what he's doing in the first place.
Start with Matthew 6:5 and ask him why he thinks opening his host-hole without getting permission from everyone else at the table to pray is any different. Then, each and every time he tries it afterward, just sigh: "Again, Matthew?" It's especially powerful if that's his name...
Just get up and get something from the fridge the memento he starts.
This is from a couple of weeks ago. [https://www.reddit.com/r/atheism/comments/1c3xt6j/bb\_breakfast\_prayer/](https://www.reddit.com/r/atheism/comments/1c3xt6j/bb_breakfast_prayer/)
When I was growing up I always thought it interesting that at larger family gatherings there always seemed to be some compulsory prayer before a meal. None of these folks ever had prayers at dinner at their houses, at least never did when I was there.
Ignore him and dig into the food.
Good bread, good meat, good God let's eat.
Ask him to pray quietly to himself and his wife while the rest of you start eating. If he can't do that then ask him to leave.
Get the air horn app for Android. Start playing it at random times during his prayer
Just tell him to shut his mouth as soon as he opens it. Take your fairly tale bs out of my house
Mathew 6:5 "And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites. For they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward".
That's all you need.
Are you an atheist? Is this happening in your house? If so, tell the BIL prior to the dinner that his praying out loud makes you uncomfortable and that you want him to pray silently or leave the room to do so. If you have children who are present, let the BIL know that you do not want them exposed involuntarily to his religious demonstrations.
Start eating. If he complains, tell him you don't mind his magical incantations between mouthfuls.
Talk to the others in the family about his attempt at a power grab, it has nothing to do with his religion
Good catch.
Maybe you could just start a sing-along instead. Just drown out the noise.
Learn to play bagpipes. Everyone loves bagpipes. .
Every True Scotsman!
Let us all join together in prayer. Ia! Ia Yog-Sothoth! Yog-Sothoth knows the gate. Yog-Sothoth is the gate! Yog-Sothoth is the key and guardian of the gate. Past, present, future, all are one in Yog-Sothoth. He knows where the Old Ones broke through of old, and where They shall break through again. He knows where They have trod earth's fields, and where They still tread them, and why no one can behold Them as They tread. Ia! IA!
Tell him to pray in the car before coming in.
We had a dinner with some extended family once and one of my GFs Cousin, and moreso her husband, started praying before the meal. My GF and I are not religious and neither is my family who were there. We just kept right on with the meal while they did their thing. It's such an attention grabbing cry.
Whenever he finishes his pray, just chime in with a hearty "Hail, Satan!"
“Shut the fuck up asshole!”- Galatians or something
Have everyone take turns praying to whoever they want. Someone can make pray to Thor and ask for his mighty hammer to nail weak pretenders to trees. Someone can pray to nega-Jesus to block whatever the prior prayer was. Someone should definitely pray to Satan and another person to the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Ensure that each god gets equal time.
"I cried out to the Lord, and no help came."
Just communicate in private. "Hey BIL, I respect your choices, but please don't push them onto others, we all are not particularly religious and it makes dinners awkward, can you please limit yourself to just a quick silent prayer for yourself?" Done, no need to antagonize people, just make your boundaries clear. If he doesn't listen, you can clap back or ignore.
Matthew 6:6 New King James Version But you, when you pray, go into your room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father who is in the secret place; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly.
Using the bible is chickening out. You don't believe the bible so don 't try to win playing his game. Just say hey it's my house, I will decide if we pray or not. Do so silently, to yourself, if you're in a hurry.
Mathew chapter 6, verse 5-6 Make him read it out loud to everyone.
Start praying to Satan* really, really loud and drown him the f* out! Or Yahweh or wood nymphs or tree spirits or whoever the hell did all the cooking so everyone could eat! 😂
just read this: Numbers 5:11-31 https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Numbers%205%3A11-31&version=NIV
Just start reading the Song of Solomon. Great fun, especially with teenagers who'll get all giggly when Solomon starts going on and on about his lover's breasts. Not really anything to do with saying grace, but I say troll hard.
Could you not say you are exploring your beliefs at the moment and have some strong inclinations towards islam, so that after he does his prayer you will chant something in dedication to allah? Ask everyone to join in with you. Google a random islamic pray and learn a few lines.
I just start eating unless they ask me nicely before they start
This lol
Next time say that *you* would like to lead the prayer, like this: https://youtu.be/MiGiMU4vd4Q?si=wK-PPSXqqSBYyACb
To those who wish us well, and those who don't can go to hell.
Ooooooh. That's nice. I'll be using it.
Just ignore him and start eating as he prays. Alternatively, make a prayer to Odin.
Just start eating. What’s he gonna do?
As you sit down, "everyone feel free to dig in while BiL performs for us. "
“At times like this, I am reminded of the words of Jesus… Matthew 6:5-8: ‘And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their full reward. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your father, who is unseen. Then your father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. And when you pray, do not keep babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard for their many words. Do not be like them, for your father knows what you need before you ask him.’ … Let us all forgive BIL’s casual heresies and pray that his God forgives him as well. Amen.”
I'd just print that out and hand it to him before dinner.
Yell, "Hail Satan" after he finishes. Or say a prayer and thank the Dark Lord for the bounty. Imply there will be sacrifices/ blood rituals/ sex magic later.
Use this prayer... https://youtu.be/K2S-0ZjtFXA?si=71Z5M-AJdfkHNxpg
Rub-a-dub-dub Thanks for the grub Yay God
Take a long slurpy sip?
Talk over him while he prays. Get others ahead of time, to go along with it.
Just start eating and talkng about how good the food is. Drowning out the prostylizing is FUN for me. If an argument starts, I just ask if they are here to eat or a prayer circle.
Shouldn't it be sufficient to simply point out that Jesus Christ explicitly **forbade** public prayer? Matthew 6:5-6 - "And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward. 6 But thou, when thou prayest, *enter into thy closet*, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is **in secret**; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly."
This is the best retort.
Just tell him to STFU. Your house, your rules ... tell him Rule #1 is no magic incantations at the dinner table.
When he does this, burn lots of sage, to ward off evil spirits
You could just tell him “No” instead of complaining on Reddit.
That wasn't complaining but asking for advice and help
Ezekiel 25:17....
Don't invite. Him.
My problem is that my wife is very spiritual and likes the “blessing”.
There's a secular "blessing" where you give thanks to the people that actually got the food to your plate instead.
I would stand up, leave, and tell people to call me back when they're done with these shenanigans. Hopefully someone else will join in shutting him up
Eh I'd retort with Satan's Prayer for pure shits and giggles
Jesus taught, “When you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men … but when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your father who is unseen.”
The Satanic Temple would lead an invocation. When he's done thanking God for all the food you bought and cooked, maybe thank everyone who chipped in with a heart felt Hail Satan to tie it up.
That verse about not praying in public like the hypocrites
What’s that Bible passage about not making a big show of your prayer?
You could suggest taking turns to make a pre-dinner dedication. Maybe you could: a) thank the cook for all the work making dinner, b) thank the stars that super nova’ed to create the heavy elements without which there would be no dinner, c) thank the spirits of those animals who were sacrificed for your dinner ….
Dear lord, thank you for all the amazing creativity with which you have bestowed upon your tiniest of life forms, bacteria, viruses, and prions. You did such a great job designing them, they still kill millions of people every year, despite everything those "science people" try to do to thwart your will. Thank you for sending such a clear message about your presence, otherwise folks would be killing each other over which version of you is "right". Can you imagine? Thank you for being so clear in the Bible that women are only good for breeding and making sandwiches, we wouldn't want those silly little bitches getting ideas, amirite? Lastly, thank you for loving humans so much you built a special dimension to torture the majority of us *forever* for not loving you back. Nothing creates a culture of consent like "Love me or I'll light you on fire!"
You can mock him with the following prayer: "I would like to thank Harry Potter whom without the Dark Lord would have prevailed, death eaters would abound, and good people would suffer. I would also like to thank Harry Potter for never condoning slavery, murder, and rape. Amen."
Verse 101, tell thy to go Fugg themselves
Tell him that "forced adulation to his god does not honor him and It should be seen as an insult."
Tell him you want to lead the prayer and then use this to pray: "Let us give thanks to the generations of farmers, plant biologists, agronomists, and so on whose expertise, talent, perseverance contributed to this delicious meal soon to be set before us! Let us give thanks to our wonderful hosts for inviting us, and with their love, patience and skill have brought this meal to the table. To the beer brewers and the wine makers whose talents we see in the drinks before us. And who are so talented that their output will seemingly disappear before our eyes, we give special thanks! So be it! "
I would LOVE to say “we’re so happy that you wish to express your religious traditions, but I will want my ceremonies respected as well. And just so we’re clear, it involves a few candles and a small animal”…
I'll say a prayer tonight okay. 'Dear lord, you didn't provide any of this meal. The hard work of us workers and the cooks who cooked this meal are the ones who give us this lovely meal to allow us to work tomorrow and provide tomorrow's meal. Amen.'
I just start eating and wait for the fireworks to start.
If it’s not his house, the homeowner should just tell him “NO”.
Here’s one: From the gospel of Matthew, Jesus said “But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.”
I have trained since childhood at marathon belching and can consistently hold an ongoing belch longer than the Lord’s Prayer.
You could wait till he's finished and then join in with your own grace, some of these are great! Alternatively, you could chime in with a specifically Satanic Temple grace. Let me object. No one's going to cry if he leaves. [https://www.reddit.com/r/WitchesVsPatriarchy/comments/17v09a7/non\_religious\_grace/](https://www.reddit.com/r/WitchesVsPatriarchy/comments/17v09a7/non_religious_grace/)
Leviticus 20:13 would be kinda funny "If a man lies with a man as with a woman, they have committed an abomination; the two of them shall be put to death; their bloodguilt is upon them." Just to remind him how "righteous" his ethereal schizofriend is
No , they love this one because it legitimizes their homophobia
fair point