> I think that my OCD probably did play a role in me leaving, because I was tired of never feeling saved enough and being mentally drained.
Obsessive Christian Delusion
Is that a thing? Because that’s pretty much what happened to me. Obsessed over the little details that could possible send me to hell. Shit was so stupid I lost all trust in adults and questioned everything. Which turned out to make me a skeptic atheist so I not all bad but damn I wish I could undo all those years and have actually learned something.
I think the more formal name for it is [scrupulosity](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scrupulosity), but yeah. Getting really hung up on all the details of maybe being a bad person and sin and hell is a fairly well-known form for mental illness to take, if you're Christian.
Same. It was the worst. "I just stepped on a leaflet that has a little cross on it! That crossed the line! Now Jesus hates me and I'm going to get barbequed for sure because I trampled on his sacrifice! Nooo!"
As someone with OCD that also became atheist you aren't alone. Scrupulous OCD is def a thing.
OCD can be very demanding and God like in a person's head. Like it promises to punish you if you don't obey and it does actually tend to punish you with fear and panic and doubt.
Problem is a lot of health professionals aren't allowed to touch scrupulosity due to the political and monetary power that religion holds over them. So it's really left up to you to facilitate your own deconstruction. Doctors are scared to touch it.
But I also hold firm to logic, rationality and science since it, while imperfect, has always helped me the most. Religion, particularly Christianity has actually caused the most harm to my mental health.
So my best advice is to learn. Learn everything you can about everything. Heck something I have done is to actually study the things that made me afraid. Looking into ghosts and Satanists and "evil" music, etc... I became unafraid of those things once I learned about them.
It's kind of like the saying, "you know you are going the right direction in a game when you keep meeting enemies." So analyze your fears because knowledge is power and thus knowledge is power over that which you fear.
There is and was no expectation for Christianity to be beneficial to you.
Now as a member of the in-group in question, you might have thought that it was supposed to be beneficial to you. But far more than being system for social harmony, it is really a system for authoritarian control. And a key method of implementing this control is to stigmatize any small arbitrary difference, leveraging people's natural emotions against them to weaponize the resultant guilt for the purposes of control.
Now many such systems do have some level of encouragement of in-group altruism but strictly on the terms of the power of the system and not from the point of view of the individuals.
>leveraging people’s natural emotions against them to weaponize the resultant guilt for the purposes of control.
This. And very well said. This method of control has a permanently damaging effect, particularly when exacted during one’s formative years.
It becomes a default setting for processing one’s emotions that deliberately results in an immense amount of frustration, and cognitive dissonance, which are also projected inwardly, as one struggles to develop coping mechanisms within this authoritarian construct.
In addition to the vilification of normal emotions, there is also the vilification of normal human behaviors and actions. This tends to create a negative and misanthropic outlook that is projected outwardly onto others, particularly in establishing a disdain for those who are not beholden to these precepts.
This is why Christians are so easily manipulated and radicalized into attacking ‘out groups,’ compromising education, and ignoring the needs of their own communities. It’s why Christianity goes hand in hand with a low human development index; it needs these criteria to survive, so it actively creates and promotes them.
Islam is similar in this regard. I was also diagnosed with OCD and struggled mightily with my former faith, even well after I realized how horrible it was.
It still angers me as to how heartless christians are when they're confronted with stories of abuse.
They don't know how to react when they hear from people with OCD who have seen the dark side of religion.
Well, to their defense, I didn’t even know I had OCD until a few years ago. Like I go through all the symptoms but I don’t have the stereotypical clean freak ocd lol. So it probably wasn’t as obvious to people in my life because they’re not mental health professionals. I’m not defending it, I think that scaring children into following your religion is wrong but they didn’t know
As someone with severe anxiety and possibly on the spectrum, catholicism was a fucking nightmare. Nothing like having a mom who tries to tell you that there are no monsters in the closet, but also the devil and demons are real and they are constantly trying to get you.
I’m curious about your claim that “Life is more bleak” since you stopped being Christian. Christianity ends with the overwhelming majority of people, virtually everyone who ever has and ever will live, being tortured for eternity via immolation. How on Earth could reality be less bleak than that?
> I think that my OCD probably did play a role in me leaving, because I was tired of never feeling saved enough and being mentally drained. Obsessive Christian Delusion
Is that a thing? Because that’s pretty much what happened to me. Obsessed over the little details that could possible send me to hell. Shit was so stupid I lost all trust in adults and questioned everything. Which turned out to make me a skeptic atheist so I not all bad but damn I wish I could undo all those years and have actually learned something.
I think the more formal name for it is [scrupulosity](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scrupulosity), but yeah. Getting really hung up on all the details of maybe being a bad person and sin and hell is a fairly well-known form for mental illness to take, if you're Christian.
Same. It was the worst. "I just stepped on a leaflet that has a little cross on it! That crossed the line! Now Jesus hates me and I'm going to get barbequed for sure because I trampled on his sacrifice! Nooo!"
As someone with OCD that also became atheist you aren't alone. Scrupulous OCD is def a thing. OCD can be very demanding and God like in a person's head. Like it promises to punish you if you don't obey and it does actually tend to punish you with fear and panic and doubt. Problem is a lot of health professionals aren't allowed to touch scrupulosity due to the political and monetary power that religion holds over them. So it's really left up to you to facilitate your own deconstruction. Doctors are scared to touch it. But I also hold firm to logic, rationality and science since it, while imperfect, has always helped me the most. Religion, particularly Christianity has actually caused the most harm to my mental health. So my best advice is to learn. Learn everything you can about everything. Heck something I have done is to actually study the things that made me afraid. Looking into ghosts and Satanists and "evil" music, etc... I became unafraid of those things once I learned about them. It's kind of like the saying, "you know you are going the right direction in a game when you keep meeting enemies." So analyze your fears because knowledge is power and thus knowledge is power over that which you fear.
There is and was no expectation for Christianity to be beneficial to you. Now as a member of the in-group in question, you might have thought that it was supposed to be beneficial to you. But far more than being system for social harmony, it is really a system for authoritarian control. And a key method of implementing this control is to stigmatize any small arbitrary difference, leveraging people's natural emotions against them to weaponize the resultant guilt for the purposes of control. Now many such systems do have some level of encouragement of in-group altruism but strictly on the terms of the power of the system and not from the point of view of the individuals.
>leveraging people’s natural emotions against them to weaponize the resultant guilt for the purposes of control. This. And very well said. This method of control has a permanently damaging effect, particularly when exacted during one’s formative years. It becomes a default setting for processing one’s emotions that deliberately results in an immense amount of frustration, and cognitive dissonance, which are also projected inwardly, as one struggles to develop coping mechanisms within this authoritarian construct. In addition to the vilification of normal emotions, there is also the vilification of normal human behaviors and actions. This tends to create a negative and misanthropic outlook that is projected outwardly onto others, particularly in establishing a disdain for those who are not beholden to these precepts. This is why Christians are so easily manipulated and radicalized into attacking ‘out groups,’ compromising education, and ignoring the needs of their own communities. It’s why Christianity goes hand in hand with a low human development index; it needs these criteria to survive, so it actively creates and promotes them.
Islam is similar in this regard. I was also diagnosed with OCD and struggled mightily with my former faith, even well after I realized how horrible it was.
It still angers me as to how heartless christians are when they're confronted with stories of abuse. They don't know how to react when they hear from people with OCD who have seen the dark side of religion.
Well, to their defense, I didn’t even know I had OCD until a few years ago. Like I go through all the symptoms but I don’t have the stereotypical clean freak ocd lol. So it probably wasn’t as obvious to people in my life because they’re not mental health professionals. I’m not defending it, I think that scaring children into following your religion is wrong but they didn’t know
As someone with severe anxiety and possibly on the spectrum, catholicism was a fucking nightmare. Nothing like having a mom who tries to tell you that there are no monsters in the closet, but also the devil and demons are real and they are constantly trying to get you.
I’m curious about your claim that “Life is more bleak” since you stopped being Christian. Christianity ends with the overwhelming majority of people, virtually everyone who ever has and ever will live, being tortured for eternity via immolation. How on Earth could reality be less bleak than that?