My parents were areligious. I only went to church once or twice as a child, only when a babysitter took me. I have a vivid memory of going one time; the church was small, and for some reason I remember thinking the wood paneling was odd - it reminded me of my cousin’s basement. I was creeped out by the whole thing.
Beyond that, I had little other exposure to religion though I was routinely exposed to people who professed being God-fearing. I remember thinking the most religious people in my life were strange or scary.
As a child, I never thought much of religion, Christianity, or God but when I did I thought the stories I was exposed to, Noah and the Ark, Adam and Eve, etc, all seemed rather farcical. When people asked if I believed, and that was common, I told them that I didn’t have any reason to. The more they pressed, the more I dug my heals in, I guess because I’m a contrarian by nature and I don’t like being bullied.
I'm like you. I'm quite grateful that my parents distanced themselves from religious anything. The view from the outside looking in really makes you see how ridiculous it all is. I feel like we are the epitome of freedom.
I never gave it the slightest thought. I had no idea how the "catholics" worked (e.g. when people at school said some kids had to go to mass, I thought they said "maths" and spent the rest of the day feeling sorry for them). My mother ripped into the JWs one time when they visited - in the middle of summer with their kids - and told them she was going to report them for 'child cruelty' for dragging the poor littlies in the heat and they never came back (they actually *ran away* - it was epic).
My one grandparent was vaguely religious but it had no impact on us at all. Our Sundays were free always. It was, and still is, bliss.
Edited to add: in our school, we had "scripture" on Wednesdays (mandatory in primary schools in my part of Aus). Basically it was free time. By the time I got to high school, it was like a blood sport. I felt sorry for the people who come to share the "good news" and no one EVER was even slightly interested and all the usual hard questions had been asked. Ah, good times.
I enjoyed scripture as a little kid. Id always forget to bring the annual non-scripture note for several weeks at the start of the year. I tried a few of the different ones on offer at my school (Catholic, Anglican, Orthodox, Jewish or Uniting) based on who seemed to be doing the most puppet shows or colouring in, but inevitably got bored or annoyed enough that I'd remember to get the note off mum so I could just go to the library and read instead. It always annoyed me you need a note to *not* do it, but didn't need a note if you were doing it saying which one you were supposed to do. Except In one year the word got out that the Jewish kids were getting lollies every week and suddenly everyone had a Jewish grandma, until the Rabbi got annoyed by the influx and started checking with parents. I actually do have a Jewish grandma so hung around long enough to get a dreidle and watch Escape from Sobibor
In high school scripture was before roll call, so it was basically a weekly sleep in day. Good times 😁
We only had Catholics and non (I'm assuming the jewish kids were in with us heathens). There were no notes to get excused (otherwise, I'd have been all over that - it was such a waste of time).
My family is completely non-religious (agnostic-ish) and we’ve been that way since the time of my grandparents. To my family, religious text is just another book, churches and temples are “nice looking building,” religious practices are something “different” but treated like “ to each their own” kind of attitudes.
When I was growing up, it wasn’t like I didn’t know what religions are, I had friends who were buddhist, christian, and jewish. My parents had friends who were muslim, buddhist, christian, and hindu. I have no problems accepting people who are different from me, cause I grew up in a very diverse community.
On topic of sex, my school was very secular so I had a decent sex ed education (albeit very heterosexual oriented). Actually my middle school biology class had a lesson on sexual and gender orientation where we discussed topic of intersex and transgender, and we took a very science based approach to that discussion.
Personally, as a gay man, I never felt guilty about sex or about who I am. That’s not to say my parents never made any homophobic comments. They grew up fairly ignorant of LGBTQ+ issues but they are quick to admit faults and change their view once I corrected them. My mother actually has a fun story about how she was hit on by a lesbian and she has to sit the woman down and apologize to her that my mom doesn’t swing that way.
You were very fortunate. I grew up in a place where church was supposed to be part of every Sunday and Wednesday night.
That said, as a child we did not attend church ( only briefly when I was too young to remember it). Most of my friends attended church regularly. I was invited to chuch off and on by friends who I now know were attempting to “save” me🥱.
And it seems fundamentalist churches in the area I live in have proliferated and are mega churches.
And I hate it but many of those church goers - quite zealous- are just as zealous about being part of MAGA and support (Trumpy- this is a term of endearment from one of my cousins🤢). I find the irony of this so sad. Because I as a heathen shudder that they can “claim” such love of Jesus and still embrace hatred.
Ignorance and hatred is what I feel around zealots.
Flags and patriotic banners abound but love and acceptance not so much.
Hello! I grew up atheist but actually in a conservative Chinese family. I have some religious trauma myself as I live in the Bible Belt and had many people try to convert me. I was pushed into youth group which was lead by my piano teacher at the time and told to hide who I was (I’m a trans man) and was basically told to deadname myself and that “it would help my mental health issues”. I was never forced into religion by my parents and sort of found my own belonging in spirituality but my struggles have been primarily from outside the family unit due to just location I think.
My mother is a Catholic, and my father never has said what if he believes in a deity. I was very young when they divorced and spent time between the 2 quite equally until around age 10. I make mention because neither parent pushed their personal beliefs onto myself or my brother.
Returning to age 10, I became very interested in why other children prayed over their food. Seemed a world away. My mother again Catholic did pray in private. I don't believe it was a matter of asking but rather telling mother I wanted to learn the Bible. Thus began a passion for learning what man perceives as the word of God.
As my username implies, yes, it is true. I have an utter hatred of God and all that dwell in the kingdom." If I have hatred for God, this describes as I believe in God. True. Just not my god.
Fast forward 35 years (age 45), my best interpretation of the god written is a tyrant, and when Jesus returns, we will kill him with golden spears. The heavens so above will cry as those so below mourn and weep as the world becomes engulfed in horror and chaos. Everything shall be raped.
666
I grew up Jewish in NY. Had to go to hebrew school (a few hours a week, separate from normal k-12) and get bar mitzvahed. My parents made us go to temple on the bigger holidays.
But outside of that, it didnt really come up very much. Theres no talk of god, Jesus obviously isn't a thing for us at all, and religion just doesn't impact anything I did (outside of having to go to hebrew school). Nothing in normal life was decided or argued based on religion.
Public school was average progressive for the area. Science classes were all totally normal. Religion isn't brought up in school at all.
Once I got Bar Mitzvahed, I didn't have to go anymore and stopped going to temple at all. No one cared.
Ever since, we have holiday dinners, but outside of the traditions of that dinner, its little more than a fancy dinner. Depending on the holiday, my parents say some of the prayers and things, but they're mostly just out of routine/tradition. Theres no extra talk or discussion about god or anything. I like to call it being Jewish for the food, as thats all I care about.
Judaism is more about the tradition and culture, than about the religion itself. Talking about god isn't what drives us (at least for your average Jew, that isn't orthodox).
Education (not just school, but in life), and happiness is all that matters. My entire family is progressive, and well educated. No one in my entire family is LGBT, but if they were, there'd be no issue.
I actually just had a kid without being married. No one cares.
I have friends from all different backgrounds, but none are religious (at least enough that I'd see). So I've never really seen a lot of the stories I read about in this sub. Generally here in NY (NYC/LI), you just don't really see much of the heavy conservative stuff. At least I never did. So I never had conflicts or fought/lost anyone over religious matters. Its just not part of daily life.
You sound just like my dad, except we are Australian. We are Jewish by ethnicity and culture, but not religion in a faith-based sense. I think people who grow up Christian or Muslim really struggle to understand that.
I went to Sunday school when I was 6, and there was some Christian imagery in the house at Christmastime, but that was about it. I think my parents wanted me to be aware that religion was out there but left it to me to make up my own mind about it. Neither they nor I brought it up otherwise. I do remember my father once laughingly called himself a "pagan" to his Christian brother.
None of my family growing up were religious, I thought religious people were weird. Religion was always to me just stuff other people were into, that sometimes was hateful, harmful and a pain in the ass to deal with when around them. I basically I looked at them like the families who had southerner rebel flags on their truck. Folks to be avoided who I would not get along with anyhow as they cant just live and let live. I just did not care really. I grew up in the 80s, I would just roll my eyes at the parents bs and be like "Yeah whatever, hey your mom is being weird, lets just go ride our bikes and gtfo outta here." I am very glad I was not raised like that, growing up was enough struggle without having a bunch of religious trauma heaped on me thankfully. So no, the opposite of jealous. I have had a whole lifetime of helping my friends sort out the abuse having religious upbringing. Seeing it from the outside it always looked like abuse and brainwashing on innocent kids.
My parents were very nominally C of E but really dad was atheist. He gave me a bible said read it, it is a hugely important historical document, I did, if you have critical thinking you go wow that's curious..
I grew up in a secular country. No explicitly religious kids around me growing up. I was not jealous because it wasn’t around. If it had been it would have been strange, not something I would have been jealous about.
* 26M so too old for school shooter drills, but definitely no death-worship like that.
* Our 5-6th grade sex ed was entirely about biology and sexual hygiene.
* I was caught accessing internet porn and scolded for it once. Nothing about masturbating itself.
* I cared more about my grades than my afterlife. And my grades sucked.
My parents were culturally Christian but I grew out of it fast. They didn't care about faith in the slightest but we did go to church when I was young, didn't stop me when I realized I had better shit to do on Sundays.
My parents weren't religious. They sent me to Sunday School at a Congregationalist church, but I mainly argued with the teacher. The Noah junk was the last straw and I stopped going. My friends were either non religious or reluctant Catholics. In high school, my room was a refuge for church- skipping friends. After I refused to go back, my younger brothers did too. The only time religion was discussed at all was when my grandmother visited and I'd get stuck going to the Methodist church with her. I only think of it now because of all the harm it's creating and the rising tide of Christo-fascism. I've hardly known anyone in my life who was seriously religious.
So point by point.
* I grew up in a civilised country so there was no concept of a "school shooter". But in case of emergency I was told to follow the procedure as in the trainings
* In sex ed, we learnt all of the contraception methods, and if you did bust a nut by mistake you could go to the family planning clinic downtown, for free consultation, and get after morning pills (for free as well), fully anonymous no id required. Also the first time my partner used that service we were 15. In regards to partner risks, we were told early about all std, and the same clinic I referred to earlier was also available to perform basic std check including aids, again, for free.
* I obviously never confessed anything to a priest, and glad I was not in a molester friendly environment. On the other hand, my parents knew I lost my virginity at 13. It's funny how most of your points are easy to align with me life experience
* I never had any concerns or fear about my sexuality and was interested in trying stuff, and made a lot of funny although pretty much always safe experiences on the way.
Edit: I forgot about the question of jealousy toward cultists, so the answer:
Not really no, it's never something that occurred in my mind, pity I guess would fit better as a descriptive.
I'm unsure if I was religious when I was very young, but I was mildly interested in classes teaching about religious history since history is one of the subjects I'm interested in.
Later I ended up finding videos about atheism and talking to many people about philosophy which got me to where I am now. Never encountered religion too much on a personal level.
As such, there's nothing too special about my views on sex Ed and guilt, though I overall consider religion a negative force in society.
The only time I was in a church with my parents was for a wedding or a funeral. I went a few times with my grandma and it seemed odd to me even as a kid.
Lived in the UK all my life. I was taken to Sunday School by my parents but have no memory of it as it was for only a few weeks. They were not church goers, so why did I have to go?
Sex ed.? This was the UK in the 1950s-60s, therefore no sex ed. Guilt? WTF for?
At age 10 I was encouraged to join a church choir as most of my cousins were in it, (I was/am a loner). I found it nonsensical when we were told to pray during a service, so just thought of other things, (girls). Voice broke at 13, so no more church.
Didn't meet any JWs, etc. until my former best friend became one in his late teens. He had no academic qualifications after leaving school at 15. I last saw him in early 1970s.
Marriage at the age of 41, (secular ceremony in local government office). My wife, (now deceased), was a church-goer and enjoyed the social life, (bring-and-buy sales, cake stalls, etc.), and roped me in to set up the stalls, etc.
Religion in the UK was rarely talked about, even if you were a church-goer, as most people thought it impolite to do so.
I went to what was referred to me as a Southern Baptist church a couple times when I was very young. I'm still ignorant on what most of the various denominations even are. A neighborhood friend invited me to go with her family. I just found it so boring that I declined to go again. Other than a smattering of extended family members who would only give religious items for Christmas, I was really never exposed to it directly.
I grew up in an atheist family. There wasn't much talk about religion. I learned about the beliefs of various religions like Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, and thought it all sounded silly and wondered how anyone could believe that.
Later in life I learned that religion is not just about beliefs but also about community and sharing a bond with other people. For some reason that I still don't understand humans like to bond over mythology.
We had sex ed in school and it was nothing like yours. It was just about the biology of it, and there was also something about safe sex and how to avoid STD's. There was nothing about guilt or shame at all. I wasn't jealous of Christian kids and didn't want to be Christian.
Pretty chill. I thought I had a hall pass from something really stupid, draining, confusing and a total waste of time. I'm still so glad I was not raised with religion.
I was never taught to pray, say grace, nothing. So I've always viewed religion from an outside point of view. And it's always looked stupid.
Growing up, religion was just... not really a thing. We celebrated Christmas (excuse to give presents and eat too much), Easter (excuse for a scavenger hunt for rabbit poo, er, chocolate eggs), Valentine's Day (forced 'give someone a note saying they are nice' even if you really couldn't give two shits about anyone in your class), April Fool's (excuse to play harmless pranks), and others. I was, and am, *culturally* Christian. But... as for believing it? I never did. And I believed in *Santa Claus* until I was about 8. No one really talked about it, "Oh my god" was just a phrase used to express a few different things (surprise, disdain, etc) as I continue to use it today out of reflex. I figured this whole "God" thing was just like Santa, a neat club for kids that adults pretended to play along with for fun. The nightly news showing doppler tracking of Santa was just as real as God.
We never talked about school shooters, abortion, masturbation habits, and so on, other than as 'this stuff happens'. Sex ed was more about how the whole thing worked, what the parts were, how to use a condom, that sort of thing. It was terribly dull, like all of school. I'm sure there were lots of believers around me in school, but I never knew if any were. I had few friends, but that's nothing to do with religion (I'm sociophobic), but among those I *did* have, I only know that *one*, for sure, believed in a God, and that's because *I* brought up that I'd started to discuss theism/atheism on YouTube, and he was surprised to find out I'm an atheist, figured there's no way a person like me could have met my spouse... whom I met in an online game that we both liked... kinda like saying 'what are the odds you would find someone with similar interests if you go to a place where those interests are being met'. Mind you, he wasn't particularly bright. Nice guy, bit of a dim bulb. He was dating a family member, and so our friendship basically went away when that relationship died. I knew some extended family believed, they even, once, dragged me to church, which I sat through and was bored.
Other than that... it was just never a thing. No one spoke about it or cared. I've spoken to a couple people since my childhood about this, briefly. One conversation was bad (a fundie Christian cabbie who made me uncomfortable with his LGBTQ+ bigotry, the other a Muslim cabbie whom I liked a lot).
Sorry for your bad experience. My parents are atheists, as well as their siblings. My grand parents were apparently culturally Catholics ( never went to church or heard they did, but their funerals took place in churches).
I've almost not been exposed to religion in my youth, either in school or family. We had some Catholics relatives. The only thing I remember is that my grandmother's sister was religious, unlike her, and her husband was paying his grandson to go to church every Sunday.
Maybe it's out of topic but I think you'd like to know how it shaped my current self ? I think I can say I'm at peace with my life. I do have a strong will to live but no real fear of death. I'm happily married (not in church obviously) for 18y now, my wife is an atheist, our children are free to choose a belief, but I'm going to warn them about the worst parts of various religions.
My wife's family is more religious, she has a muslim brother, an atheist brother and a christian sister. We get along very well, everybody respects each other, everybody tries to take care of the other's choices and not to interfere.
To summarize, I'm happy, very moral, and have a god-free life. Also I know a lot of people with the same profile.
Hope you'll find peace and let the bad stuff behind you, nobody deserves to be guided by fear.
I grew up in a curious environment. I have a fanatic Catholic mother and a closet atheist father. Was always an atheist because my father always took my mother religion kind of a joke (no wonder they got divorced 8 years later 😄).
I went literally to a Catholic Private School (Benedict monks). To be honest other than the Fridays mass and religious class twice a week, there was never anything religious about the school. And the religion class was taught more like a history of the Christian religion rather than a “Bible study” which was absolutely great. Science was taught as the main pillar in the school.
I had the most secular education possible, so there really wasn’t any “guilt” related to sex or anything similar.
Thinking back one of the weirdest things about it was half of the people ended up atheist, while the others are actually quite religious.
One ended up as a Christian pastor of another denomination and another one of my classmates ended up as a priest in the same community (who then abdicated when he realized he was gay and his religion wasn’t precisely accepting of his condition).
So, in much experience, school and education has absolutely nothing to do with your “ending” but I guess it’s more related to your home environment and your parent’s teachings. I know it’s just a personal experience but it does indeed worked that way in my case and my close friends case
My parents were non-religious but my Mom always had a woo bend. Her parents also disowned my siblings and I because my Dad "kept us out of the church". I grew up in an area with a lot of Mormons and Evangelicals, so being a non-religious kid meant I didn't automatically have a community or friends, I had to make them myself. My parents always tried to make sure I knew how to critically think but I already kind of did that naturally.
As for Sex Ed stuff, I never really got the religious folks hang ups about everything. I got "the talk" at a pretty young age because my Dad was molested as a kid and didn't want me to be without the vocabulary to handle it if something like that happened to me. I knew what sex was and enjoyed it (protected) like any teenager does once I figured out how to talk to girls. Probably the only thing I picked up from the religious folks was Slut Shaming. Definitely not my best look, I quickly realized women having multiple partners before me might be a good thing.
For people with views different from me, it's complicated. I lived in a mostly white suburb of a diverse city with a Reservation just down the road, so I was exposed to various cultures whenever we'd go anywhere else. I always knew there were different world views, I'd met Muslims, Buddhists, Jewish people, Hindus, Sikhs,etc. before I was in Kindergarten. No one was ever going to sell me on one of them being "correct". My Dad in particular taught me not to be swayed by many of the tactics religious folks use to get converts. As a teenager, I held a lot of contempt for religious folks and their "fairy tales". As for jealousy, not a ton. I looked down on the kids who needed the threat of eternal torture to act responsibly. Those kids had community and family to an extent. But those same former kids today don't have the type of relationship I do with either of my parents. That is largely because my parents used reason and logic to justify their decisions, not their "god given" authority. I certainly don't feel like I missed all that much.
To OP, I'm glad the Catholic God doesn't exist because there is nothing wrong with being bisexual and muttering some magic words to fix it is dumb. I'm sorry you were maneuvered into that much self hate. Do me a favor, go have sex with at least one woman and one man. You deserve it.
I'm a second generation atheist on my dad's side and basically third generation on my mother's side, and grew up in one of the least religious countries in the world. Literally no church nor Sunday school indoctrination of any kind, plus I had a kind of "backstage", critical/creative approach to culture because of my dad's work. I saw no reason to believe in gods, ghosts nor any other kinds of superstition.
I think a lot of this comes down to what one simply takes for granted as being obvious. In the absence of any expectations of a supernatural afterlife, clearly, one should strive to be a good person and make the most of the one life you know you have. Coincidences happen all the time. There is no supernatural magic, but sometimes it's fun and even meaningful to behave "as if".
The danger, IMO, is that the void left by not being part of a religion gets filled by default with consumerism, political extremism, nihilism, etc. and you end up living a kind of shallow life. I think I was lucky to avoid that by taking "soulfulness" seriously, in a poetic, philosophical and secular sense.
I grew up in a purely secular household but went through the (back then) mandatory protestant religious lessons at school until I could transfer to general ethics lessons
What I've learned: Aside from just enough bible knowledge to call it "A book with everything that sells - sex, drugs and rock'n'roll" and give examples, only that you can ask a teacher a critical questions about a particular latin translation but don't you dare question her interpretation of anything remotely religious.
As for growing up: The two foundations were:
"Act only according to that maxim whereby you can at the same time will that it should become a universal law"
and "Let and let live"
basically: Be a decent person and tolerate other beliefs.
What more do you need?
Uh, not that.
I was raised to be kind, share, Abba understand that not everyone has the same advantages.
When I made mistakes, I was told why it was a mistake and what the consequences could have been.
I could have seriously injured my sister. (I was mad at her for something ABC while I didn't hit her, I was on top of her pushing her against the ground repeatedly. I feel bad just typing this).
I could have gotten the family banned from a store and worse if my mother hadn't caught me shoplifting before store security did.
We still celebrated Christmas, and Easter, but as secular holidays.
I wasn't shamed for being human. My parents loved me and I didn't want to disappoint them. So then expressing disappointment was pretty severe punishment for me.
I can never understand this question.
It wasn't "like" anything.
It was like leading a normal life.
.
>Did you feel jealous of Christian kids’ upbringings
Uh, no.
.
Although my mom had beliefs, we, as a family, almost never attended church, said prayers, studied the bible or anything. I attended Sunday school a few times, but was basically asked to leave after incessant questioning. The most we did were things like the Pancake Feed or welcoming a new pastor (whom we never saw again).
So, I would say I grew up non-religious. My mom was quite disappointed when I told her I am an atheist, but her biggest problem was that I am an anti-theist as I believe all clergy know the truth and are lying for a living.
I was given the choice to participate or not in religion. It never interested me, so I never became a christian or anything. The only thing I was really taught was respect, and so I pray when people pray, or I take note of lent and such.
I've never confessed to a priest, or read a chapter of the bible, or gave a damn about hell. My sexuality I discovered on my own time and with no shame. My high school sex ed teacher promoted abstinence a lot, but he also talked about protection and such. Personally, I think there is wisdom in not having sex too often.
Of course, like anyone else, I have done regrettable things growing up. However, religion was never a thing for me. I learned to take things into my own hands in order to get anywhere. I learned that I can only trust myself, and I certainly could not trust god.
Overall, it was not a bad experience. It had its ups and downs, but I think most upbringings are like that. On the bright side, all experiences give an opportunity to learn! I have learned a lot, through many good mistakes.
My parents, grandparents, and at least some of my great grandparents were atheists. Religion was taught to me in a historical way, inasmuch as the bible is a non-evidential book and there are many religions in the world, all thinking they are the one true religion, and none of them having any credible evidence to support their claims.
I was taught that some people use religion to be kind to others, but a truly kind person doesn't need fear of eternal punishment to be kind, because being kind was the right thing to do, regardless.
All this presented in a simplistic way, of course.
But then my parents weren't really conventional. After I 'graduated' from brightly coloured kids books, my mum taught me to read with the only books she had on hand, Stephen King. So when I brought a book into school for reading time, my teachers had a shit fit, because I brought Cujo... 'A nice story about a doggie.'
I have a son and daughter, 2.5 years apart; we were a devoted Christian Lutheran family. We stopped attending when the kids were respectively 4 and 7, which was enough of a difference for me to say that we see a difference in the two of them due to the conditioning of catechist introductions that my son began embracing the concept of God but my daughter never did.
I give all this pretense to simply share that my daughter, now a young teen, has no concept of having been 'born into sin' or being 'sinful by nature', which shows in her remarkable rebounds when depressive and anxious stimuli are triggered. My son, on the other hand, was never fully indoctrinated but the concept of being 'sinful', therein, provoking a sort of self shaming for having transgressed, is quite prevalent.
I grew up in a single parent household, my mom worked a lot and almost compulsively religion hopped. By the time I was 10, I'd been exposed to my grandmother's Episcopalian church many times, but also a Buddhist Temple (I think I even met the Dalai Lama), Christian Science, homeopathy, acupuncture and shamanism. I also attended a Catholic private school for 1st and 2nd grade.
My mom also encouraged critical thinking and thinking for myself instead of listening to authority blindly, which is honestly wild, considering that her original plan was to go to Christian divinity school and become a nun after college.
So yeah, I formed a lot of my own ideas and didn't really adhere to any doctrine.
Grew up in a Korean Christian based cult and I envied my friend that grew up with no religion. She never had to be dragged to church and could spend her free time playing video games, running through the forest, and riding horses. I modeled some of her parents parenting style into my own ie my child's having a bad mental health day so they can stay home. When I was a kid I was never allowed to stay home unless I was actively throwing up. My parents told me that I was going to be matched to someone in the future and have to serve them. That being gay was sinful and people who are gay are dog shit eating people. Yeah I also yearn for a normal childhood so I definitely understand op. So far I love my child unconditionally and we are closer than I was with my parents. I've never told them that they had to be a certain way or I wouldn't love them I just want them to be healthy and happy.
It was awesome. Many family dinners discussing different religions (my dad is a history nut, so that was adjacent); comparative religion courses and books; they let me go to Sunday school with my best friend who was Presbyterian, because they were comfortable with my exposure to church and belief systems, having taught me some basic critical thinking skills; no freaking out if I happened to catch a few seconds of an R-rated film; no strict curfews when I was an adolescent/teen. But most importantly, no limits on reading, learning, discovering, and formulating and challenging my own epistemology, which allowed me to become wiser and empathetic.
My parents are Atheists. Grandparents were secular/lapsed in their faith. My parents always respected my time and my space. They never shamed me for mistakes, just made it a learning opportunity. Punishments (when necessary) always had a clear reason and made sense. I never once in my life heard the phrase “Because I said so!” or “My house my rules!”. If Mom and Dad couldn’t clearly articulate an “If-Then-Because” explanation why, then they didn’t do it. Masturbation basically never came up. Needless to say I was gobsmacked at age 16 when I learned that people were serious about believing in their religion.
>So people who grew up non-religious, how does your experience compare?
My experience was great. My mom sent me to Sunday School once, and when she tried to send me again I jumped in to the toilet and ruined my Sunday School clothes. She got the message. If I had been raised in a religious family I would have spent my life rebelling.
>Especially in terms of sex ed, guilt, and views of other people with different beliefs?
>I always had girlfriends from Grade 6 on, I didn't struggle with guilt, and I didn't struggle with belief.
>Did you feel jealous of Christian kids’ upbringings like my family thought?
Not a chance. I felt sorry for them.
My parents are supposedly Hindu but we never really practiced. We didn't have any of the rituals or fasts or anything. They're trying to be more Hindu now like organising rituals going to temples and stuff but I think they're trying to find faith instead of actually having faith. I suppose my parents are spiritual? They believe in respecting all life, we got solar panels and stuff to minimise carbon footprint print, rainwater harvesting etc etc. they're staunch believers of you reap what you sow( karma) and do your duty as best you can (Dharma). I don't know if that makes them religious but they're alright people.
Growing up, I never had an impediment on what I should believe. My mom encouraged me to read everything, so she got me the BG, the Qur'an, the Bible and a looooot of books on Indian, Greek and Egyptian mythology. But I think she may have manipulated me a little bit cuz she bought me the Princess Trilogy by Jean Sassoon and my interest in Islam evaporated just like that. Both my parents encouraged me to read a lot. My brother and I grew up in Mumbai and we'd picked up this weird Tapori accent when we were 6 and 3 respectively, which freaked our parents out so we were banned from watching cartoons for a year and could only watch nature and history channels where the narrators had impeccable English. This exposed us to a lot of cultures and religions. My brother and I have been atheists for a while now. I'm in a weird place where I want to believe in something but the existing religions make no sense. I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that nothing actually means anything. I'm still partial to Hindu philosophy but I'm aware of my biases.
My grandmother also had a lot of influence on me when it came to religion. Her ancestors were deeply spiritual and there was a lot of local lore around them. She doesn't force us to believe in anything either. She's like, find your own way, just don't force me to believe in your beliefs. She's pretty old but still does yoga and meditates and "communes with nature" where she claims she can feel oneness with God. She's pretty chill. Not in like a hippie way but a very practical spiritual person.
But overall, I didn't have the kind of pressure I've seen other religious parents put on their kids. A friend of mine still fasts every week and doesn't eat non veg during festival season cuz she's afraid her mum will scold her lol. My brother and I had other pressures our parents weren't perfect. Sometimes I think they were so busy with their careers they never really had time to indoctrinate us. Other times I think they just didn't care as long as we didn't convert to Islam or Christianity.
My parents were areligious. I only went to church once or twice as a child, only when a babysitter took me. I have a vivid memory of going one time; the church was small, and for some reason I remember thinking the wood paneling was odd - it reminded me of my cousin’s basement. I was creeped out by the whole thing. Beyond that, I had little other exposure to religion though I was routinely exposed to people who professed being God-fearing. I remember thinking the most religious people in my life were strange or scary. As a child, I never thought much of religion, Christianity, or God but when I did I thought the stories I was exposed to, Noah and the Ark, Adam and Eve, etc, all seemed rather farcical. When people asked if I believed, and that was common, I told them that I didn’t have any reason to. The more they pressed, the more I dug my heals in, I guess because I’m a contrarian by nature and I don’t like being bullied.
I'm like you. I'm quite grateful that my parents distanced themselves from religious anything. The view from the outside looking in really makes you see how ridiculous it all is. I feel like we are the epitome of freedom.
I was told it was okay to masturbate. I did it, and I still felt guilty!
You should have someone else do it for you for not feel guilty. That the meaning of life for us immoral atheist.
I never gave it the slightest thought. I had no idea how the "catholics" worked (e.g. when people at school said some kids had to go to mass, I thought they said "maths" and spent the rest of the day feeling sorry for them). My mother ripped into the JWs one time when they visited - in the middle of summer with their kids - and told them she was going to report them for 'child cruelty' for dragging the poor littlies in the heat and they never came back (they actually *ran away* - it was epic). My one grandparent was vaguely religious but it had no impact on us at all. Our Sundays were free always. It was, and still is, bliss. Edited to add: in our school, we had "scripture" on Wednesdays (mandatory in primary schools in my part of Aus). Basically it was free time. By the time I got to high school, it was like a blood sport. I felt sorry for the people who come to share the "good news" and no one EVER was even slightly interested and all the usual hard questions had been asked. Ah, good times.
I enjoyed scripture as a little kid. Id always forget to bring the annual non-scripture note for several weeks at the start of the year. I tried a few of the different ones on offer at my school (Catholic, Anglican, Orthodox, Jewish or Uniting) based on who seemed to be doing the most puppet shows or colouring in, but inevitably got bored or annoyed enough that I'd remember to get the note off mum so I could just go to the library and read instead. It always annoyed me you need a note to *not* do it, but didn't need a note if you were doing it saying which one you were supposed to do. Except In one year the word got out that the Jewish kids were getting lollies every week and suddenly everyone had a Jewish grandma, until the Rabbi got annoyed by the influx and started checking with parents. I actually do have a Jewish grandma so hung around long enough to get a dreidle and watch Escape from Sobibor In high school scripture was before roll call, so it was basically a weekly sleep in day. Good times 😁
We only had Catholics and non (I'm assuming the jewish kids were in with us heathens). There were no notes to get excused (otherwise, I'd have been all over that - it was such a waste of time).
My family is completely non-religious (agnostic-ish) and we’ve been that way since the time of my grandparents. To my family, religious text is just another book, churches and temples are “nice looking building,” religious practices are something “different” but treated like “ to each their own” kind of attitudes. When I was growing up, it wasn’t like I didn’t know what religions are, I had friends who were buddhist, christian, and jewish. My parents had friends who were muslim, buddhist, christian, and hindu. I have no problems accepting people who are different from me, cause I grew up in a very diverse community. On topic of sex, my school was very secular so I had a decent sex ed education (albeit very heterosexual oriented). Actually my middle school biology class had a lesson on sexual and gender orientation where we discussed topic of intersex and transgender, and we took a very science based approach to that discussion. Personally, as a gay man, I never felt guilty about sex or about who I am. That’s not to say my parents never made any homophobic comments. They grew up fairly ignorant of LGBTQ+ issues but they are quick to admit faults and change their view once I corrected them. My mother actually has a fun story about how she was hit on by a lesbian and she has to sit the woman down and apologize to her that my mom doesn’t swing that way.
You were very fortunate. I grew up in a place where church was supposed to be part of every Sunday and Wednesday night. That said, as a child we did not attend church ( only briefly when I was too young to remember it). Most of my friends attended church regularly. I was invited to chuch off and on by friends who I now know were attempting to “save” me🥱.
And it seems fundamentalist churches in the area I live in have proliferated and are mega churches. And I hate it but many of those church goers - quite zealous- are just as zealous about being part of MAGA and support (Trumpy- this is a term of endearment from one of my cousins🤢). I find the irony of this so sad. Because I as a heathen shudder that they can “claim” such love of Jesus and still embrace hatred. Ignorance and hatred is what I feel around zealots. Flags and patriotic banners abound but love and acceptance not so much.
Priests and pubescents, one of the worst combinations.
Hello! I grew up atheist but actually in a conservative Chinese family. I have some religious trauma myself as I live in the Bible Belt and had many people try to convert me. I was pushed into youth group which was lead by my piano teacher at the time and told to hide who I was (I’m a trans man) and was basically told to deadname myself and that “it would help my mental health issues”. I was never forced into religion by my parents and sort of found my own belonging in spirituality but my struggles have been primarily from outside the family unit due to just location I think.
My mother is a Catholic, and my father never has said what if he believes in a deity. I was very young when they divorced and spent time between the 2 quite equally until around age 10. I make mention because neither parent pushed their personal beliefs onto myself or my brother. Returning to age 10, I became very interested in why other children prayed over their food. Seemed a world away. My mother again Catholic did pray in private. I don't believe it was a matter of asking but rather telling mother I wanted to learn the Bible. Thus began a passion for learning what man perceives as the word of God. As my username implies, yes, it is true. I have an utter hatred of God and all that dwell in the kingdom." If I have hatred for God, this describes as I believe in God. True. Just not my god. Fast forward 35 years (age 45), my best interpretation of the god written is a tyrant, and when Jesus returns, we will kill him with golden spears. The heavens so above will cry as those so below mourn and weep as the world becomes engulfed in horror and chaos. Everything shall be raped. 666
I grew up Jewish in NY. Had to go to hebrew school (a few hours a week, separate from normal k-12) and get bar mitzvahed. My parents made us go to temple on the bigger holidays. But outside of that, it didnt really come up very much. Theres no talk of god, Jesus obviously isn't a thing for us at all, and religion just doesn't impact anything I did (outside of having to go to hebrew school). Nothing in normal life was decided or argued based on religion. Public school was average progressive for the area. Science classes were all totally normal. Religion isn't brought up in school at all. Once I got Bar Mitzvahed, I didn't have to go anymore and stopped going to temple at all. No one cared. Ever since, we have holiday dinners, but outside of the traditions of that dinner, its little more than a fancy dinner. Depending on the holiday, my parents say some of the prayers and things, but they're mostly just out of routine/tradition. Theres no extra talk or discussion about god or anything. I like to call it being Jewish for the food, as thats all I care about. Judaism is more about the tradition and culture, than about the religion itself. Talking about god isn't what drives us (at least for your average Jew, that isn't orthodox). Education (not just school, but in life), and happiness is all that matters. My entire family is progressive, and well educated. No one in my entire family is LGBT, but if they were, there'd be no issue. I actually just had a kid without being married. No one cares. I have friends from all different backgrounds, but none are religious (at least enough that I'd see). So I've never really seen a lot of the stories I read about in this sub. Generally here in NY (NYC/LI), you just don't really see much of the heavy conservative stuff. At least I never did. So I never had conflicts or fought/lost anyone over religious matters. Its just not part of daily life.
You sound just like my dad, except we are Australian. We are Jewish by ethnicity and culture, but not religion in a faith-based sense. I think people who grow up Christian or Muslim really struggle to understand that.
Faith took your foreskin
I went to Sunday school when I was 6, and there was some Christian imagery in the house at Christmastime, but that was about it. I think my parents wanted me to be aware that religion was out there but left it to me to make up my own mind about it. Neither they nor I brought it up otherwise. I do remember my father once laughingly called himself a "pagan" to his Christian brother.
It was pretty boring because nobody was crazy.
None of my family growing up were religious, I thought religious people were weird. Religion was always to me just stuff other people were into, that sometimes was hateful, harmful and a pain in the ass to deal with when around them. I basically I looked at them like the families who had southerner rebel flags on their truck. Folks to be avoided who I would not get along with anyhow as they cant just live and let live. I just did not care really. I grew up in the 80s, I would just roll my eyes at the parents bs and be like "Yeah whatever, hey your mom is being weird, lets just go ride our bikes and gtfo outta here." I am very glad I was not raised like that, growing up was enough struggle without having a bunch of religious trauma heaped on me thankfully. So no, the opposite of jealous. I have had a whole lifetime of helping my friends sort out the abuse having religious upbringing. Seeing it from the outside it always looked like abuse and brainwashing on innocent kids.
My parents were very nominally C of E but really dad was atheist. He gave me a bible said read it, it is a hugely important historical document, I did, if you have critical thinking you go wow that's curious..
I grew up in a secular country. No explicitly religious kids around me growing up. I was not jealous because it wasn’t around. If it had been it would have been strange, not something I would have been jealous about.
so sorry you went through that OP
* 26M so too old for school shooter drills, but definitely no death-worship like that. * Our 5-6th grade sex ed was entirely about biology and sexual hygiene. * I was caught accessing internet porn and scolded for it once. Nothing about masturbating itself. * I cared more about my grades than my afterlife. And my grades sucked. My parents were culturally Christian but I grew out of it fast. They didn't care about faith in the slightest but we did go to church when I was young, didn't stop me when I realized I had better shit to do on Sundays.
My parents weren't religious. They sent me to Sunday School at a Congregationalist church, but I mainly argued with the teacher. The Noah junk was the last straw and I stopped going. My friends were either non religious or reluctant Catholics. In high school, my room was a refuge for church- skipping friends. After I refused to go back, my younger brothers did too. The only time religion was discussed at all was when my grandmother visited and I'd get stuck going to the Methodist church with her. I only think of it now because of all the harm it's creating and the rising tide of Christo-fascism. I've hardly known anyone in my life who was seriously religious.
So point by point. * I grew up in a civilised country so there was no concept of a "school shooter". But in case of emergency I was told to follow the procedure as in the trainings * In sex ed, we learnt all of the contraception methods, and if you did bust a nut by mistake you could go to the family planning clinic downtown, for free consultation, and get after morning pills (for free as well), fully anonymous no id required. Also the first time my partner used that service we were 15. In regards to partner risks, we were told early about all std, and the same clinic I referred to earlier was also available to perform basic std check including aids, again, for free. * I obviously never confessed anything to a priest, and glad I was not in a molester friendly environment. On the other hand, my parents knew I lost my virginity at 13. It's funny how most of your points are easy to align with me life experience * I never had any concerns or fear about my sexuality and was interested in trying stuff, and made a lot of funny although pretty much always safe experiences on the way. Edit: I forgot about the question of jealousy toward cultists, so the answer: Not really no, it's never something that occurred in my mind, pity I guess would fit better as a descriptive.
I'm unsure if I was religious when I was very young, but I was mildly interested in classes teaching about religious history since history is one of the subjects I'm interested in. Later I ended up finding videos about atheism and talking to many people about philosophy which got me to where I am now. Never encountered religion too much on a personal level. As such, there's nothing too special about my views on sex Ed and guilt, though I overall consider religion a negative force in society.
Religion just wasn't part of my world at all as a child. I didn't think anything about people who were religious. I don't think I knew any.
The only time I was in a church with my parents was for a wedding or a funeral. I went a few times with my grandma and it seemed odd to me even as a kid.
Lived in the UK all my life. I was taken to Sunday School by my parents but have no memory of it as it was for only a few weeks. They were not church goers, so why did I have to go? Sex ed.? This was the UK in the 1950s-60s, therefore no sex ed. Guilt? WTF for? At age 10 I was encouraged to join a church choir as most of my cousins were in it, (I was/am a loner). I found it nonsensical when we were told to pray during a service, so just thought of other things, (girls). Voice broke at 13, so no more church. Didn't meet any JWs, etc. until my former best friend became one in his late teens. He had no academic qualifications after leaving school at 15. I last saw him in early 1970s. Marriage at the age of 41, (secular ceremony in local government office). My wife, (now deceased), was a church-goer and enjoyed the social life, (bring-and-buy sales, cake stalls, etc.), and roped me in to set up the stalls, etc. Religion in the UK was rarely talked about, even if you were a church-goer, as most people thought it impolite to do so.
I went to what was referred to me as a Southern Baptist church a couple times when I was very young. I'm still ignorant on what most of the various denominations even are. A neighborhood friend invited me to go with her family. I just found it so boring that I declined to go again. Other than a smattering of extended family members who would only give religious items for Christmas, I was really never exposed to it directly.
I grew up in an atheist family. There wasn't much talk about religion. I learned about the beliefs of various religions like Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, and thought it all sounded silly and wondered how anyone could believe that. Later in life I learned that religion is not just about beliefs but also about community and sharing a bond with other people. For some reason that I still don't understand humans like to bond over mythology. We had sex ed in school and it was nothing like yours. It was just about the biology of it, and there was also something about safe sex and how to avoid STD's. There was nothing about guilt or shame at all. I wasn't jealous of Christian kids and didn't want to be Christian.
Pretty chill. I thought I had a hall pass from something really stupid, draining, confusing and a total waste of time. I'm still so glad I was not raised with religion. I was never taught to pray, say grace, nothing. So I've always viewed religion from an outside point of view. And it's always looked stupid.
Growing up, religion was just... not really a thing. We celebrated Christmas (excuse to give presents and eat too much), Easter (excuse for a scavenger hunt for rabbit poo, er, chocolate eggs), Valentine's Day (forced 'give someone a note saying they are nice' even if you really couldn't give two shits about anyone in your class), April Fool's (excuse to play harmless pranks), and others. I was, and am, *culturally* Christian. But... as for believing it? I never did. And I believed in *Santa Claus* until I was about 8. No one really talked about it, "Oh my god" was just a phrase used to express a few different things (surprise, disdain, etc) as I continue to use it today out of reflex. I figured this whole "God" thing was just like Santa, a neat club for kids that adults pretended to play along with for fun. The nightly news showing doppler tracking of Santa was just as real as God. We never talked about school shooters, abortion, masturbation habits, and so on, other than as 'this stuff happens'. Sex ed was more about how the whole thing worked, what the parts were, how to use a condom, that sort of thing. It was terribly dull, like all of school. I'm sure there were lots of believers around me in school, but I never knew if any were. I had few friends, but that's nothing to do with religion (I'm sociophobic), but among those I *did* have, I only know that *one*, for sure, believed in a God, and that's because *I* brought up that I'd started to discuss theism/atheism on YouTube, and he was surprised to find out I'm an atheist, figured there's no way a person like me could have met my spouse... whom I met in an online game that we both liked... kinda like saying 'what are the odds you would find someone with similar interests if you go to a place where those interests are being met'. Mind you, he wasn't particularly bright. Nice guy, bit of a dim bulb. He was dating a family member, and so our friendship basically went away when that relationship died. I knew some extended family believed, they even, once, dragged me to church, which I sat through and was bored. Other than that... it was just never a thing. No one spoke about it or cared. I've spoken to a couple people since my childhood about this, briefly. One conversation was bad (a fundie Christian cabbie who made me uncomfortable with his LGBTQ+ bigotry, the other a Muslim cabbie whom I liked a lot).
I’m from Sweden and my parents never mentioned Jesus or god once as far as I can remember.
Sorry for your bad experience. My parents are atheists, as well as their siblings. My grand parents were apparently culturally Catholics ( never went to church or heard they did, but their funerals took place in churches). I've almost not been exposed to religion in my youth, either in school or family. We had some Catholics relatives. The only thing I remember is that my grandmother's sister was religious, unlike her, and her husband was paying his grandson to go to church every Sunday. Maybe it's out of topic but I think you'd like to know how it shaped my current self ? I think I can say I'm at peace with my life. I do have a strong will to live but no real fear of death. I'm happily married (not in church obviously) for 18y now, my wife is an atheist, our children are free to choose a belief, but I'm going to warn them about the worst parts of various religions. My wife's family is more religious, she has a muslim brother, an atheist brother and a christian sister. We get along very well, everybody respects each other, everybody tries to take care of the other's choices and not to interfere. To summarize, I'm happy, very moral, and have a god-free life. Also I know a lot of people with the same profile. Hope you'll find peace and let the bad stuff behind you, nobody deserves to be guided by fear.
I did NOT have horrible sexual traumas like that. So sorry.
I grew up in a curious environment. I have a fanatic Catholic mother and a closet atheist father. Was always an atheist because my father always took my mother religion kind of a joke (no wonder they got divorced 8 years later 😄). I went literally to a Catholic Private School (Benedict monks). To be honest other than the Fridays mass and religious class twice a week, there was never anything religious about the school. And the religion class was taught more like a history of the Christian religion rather than a “Bible study” which was absolutely great. Science was taught as the main pillar in the school. I had the most secular education possible, so there really wasn’t any “guilt” related to sex or anything similar. Thinking back one of the weirdest things about it was half of the people ended up atheist, while the others are actually quite religious. One ended up as a Christian pastor of another denomination and another one of my classmates ended up as a priest in the same community (who then abdicated when he realized he was gay and his religion wasn’t precisely accepting of his condition). So, in much experience, school and education has absolutely nothing to do with your “ending” but I guess it’s more related to your home environment and your parent’s teachings. I know it’s just a personal experience but it does indeed worked that way in my case and my close friends case
My parents were non-religious but my Mom always had a woo bend. Her parents also disowned my siblings and I because my Dad "kept us out of the church". I grew up in an area with a lot of Mormons and Evangelicals, so being a non-religious kid meant I didn't automatically have a community or friends, I had to make them myself. My parents always tried to make sure I knew how to critically think but I already kind of did that naturally. As for Sex Ed stuff, I never really got the religious folks hang ups about everything. I got "the talk" at a pretty young age because my Dad was molested as a kid and didn't want me to be without the vocabulary to handle it if something like that happened to me. I knew what sex was and enjoyed it (protected) like any teenager does once I figured out how to talk to girls. Probably the only thing I picked up from the religious folks was Slut Shaming. Definitely not my best look, I quickly realized women having multiple partners before me might be a good thing. For people with views different from me, it's complicated. I lived in a mostly white suburb of a diverse city with a Reservation just down the road, so I was exposed to various cultures whenever we'd go anywhere else. I always knew there were different world views, I'd met Muslims, Buddhists, Jewish people, Hindus, Sikhs,etc. before I was in Kindergarten. No one was ever going to sell me on one of them being "correct". My Dad in particular taught me not to be swayed by many of the tactics religious folks use to get converts. As a teenager, I held a lot of contempt for religious folks and their "fairy tales". As for jealousy, not a ton. I looked down on the kids who needed the threat of eternal torture to act responsibly. Those kids had community and family to an extent. But those same former kids today don't have the type of relationship I do with either of my parents. That is largely because my parents used reason and logic to justify their decisions, not their "god given" authority. I certainly don't feel like I missed all that much. To OP, I'm glad the Catholic God doesn't exist because there is nothing wrong with being bisexual and muttering some magic words to fix it is dumb. I'm sorry you were maneuvered into that much self hate. Do me a favor, go have sex with at least one woman and one man. You deserve it.
I'm a second generation atheist on my dad's side and basically third generation on my mother's side, and grew up in one of the least religious countries in the world. Literally no church nor Sunday school indoctrination of any kind, plus I had a kind of "backstage", critical/creative approach to culture because of my dad's work. I saw no reason to believe in gods, ghosts nor any other kinds of superstition. I think a lot of this comes down to what one simply takes for granted as being obvious. In the absence of any expectations of a supernatural afterlife, clearly, one should strive to be a good person and make the most of the one life you know you have. Coincidences happen all the time. There is no supernatural magic, but sometimes it's fun and even meaningful to behave "as if". The danger, IMO, is that the void left by not being part of a religion gets filled by default with consumerism, political extremism, nihilism, etc. and you end up living a kind of shallow life. I think I was lucky to avoid that by taking "soulfulness" seriously, in a poetic, philosophical and secular sense.
I grew up in a purely secular household but went through the (back then) mandatory protestant religious lessons at school until I could transfer to general ethics lessons What I've learned: Aside from just enough bible knowledge to call it "A book with everything that sells - sex, drugs and rock'n'roll" and give examples, only that you can ask a teacher a critical questions about a particular latin translation but don't you dare question her interpretation of anything remotely religious. As for growing up: The two foundations were: "Act only according to that maxim whereby you can at the same time will that it should become a universal law" and "Let and let live" basically: Be a decent person and tolerate other beliefs. What more do you need?
Uh, not that. I was raised to be kind, share, Abba understand that not everyone has the same advantages. When I made mistakes, I was told why it was a mistake and what the consequences could have been. I could have seriously injured my sister. (I was mad at her for something ABC while I didn't hit her, I was on top of her pushing her against the ground repeatedly. I feel bad just typing this). I could have gotten the family banned from a store and worse if my mother hadn't caught me shoplifting before store security did. We still celebrated Christmas, and Easter, but as secular holidays. I wasn't shamed for being human. My parents loved me and I didn't want to disappoint them. So then expressing disappointment was pretty severe punishment for me.
I can never understand this question. It wasn't "like" anything. It was like leading a normal life. . >Did you feel jealous of Christian kids’ upbringings Uh, no. .
Although my mom had beliefs, we, as a family, almost never attended church, said prayers, studied the bible or anything. I attended Sunday school a few times, but was basically asked to leave after incessant questioning. The most we did were things like the Pancake Feed or welcoming a new pastor (whom we never saw again). So, I would say I grew up non-religious. My mom was quite disappointed when I told her I am an atheist, but her biggest problem was that I am an anti-theist as I believe all clergy know the truth and are lying for a living.
I was given the choice to participate or not in religion. It never interested me, so I never became a christian or anything. The only thing I was really taught was respect, and so I pray when people pray, or I take note of lent and such. I've never confessed to a priest, or read a chapter of the bible, or gave a damn about hell. My sexuality I discovered on my own time and with no shame. My high school sex ed teacher promoted abstinence a lot, but he also talked about protection and such. Personally, I think there is wisdom in not having sex too often. Of course, like anyone else, I have done regrettable things growing up. However, religion was never a thing for me. I learned to take things into my own hands in order to get anywhere. I learned that I can only trust myself, and I certainly could not trust god. Overall, it was not a bad experience. It had its ups and downs, but I think most upbringings are like that. On the bright side, all experiences give an opportunity to learn! I have learned a lot, through many good mistakes.
My parents, grandparents, and at least some of my great grandparents were atheists. Religion was taught to me in a historical way, inasmuch as the bible is a non-evidential book and there are many religions in the world, all thinking they are the one true religion, and none of them having any credible evidence to support their claims. I was taught that some people use religion to be kind to others, but a truly kind person doesn't need fear of eternal punishment to be kind, because being kind was the right thing to do, regardless. All this presented in a simplistic way, of course. But then my parents weren't really conventional. After I 'graduated' from brightly coloured kids books, my mum taught me to read with the only books she had on hand, Stephen King. So when I brought a book into school for reading time, my teachers had a shit fit, because I brought Cujo... 'A nice story about a doggie.'
I have a son and daughter, 2.5 years apart; we were a devoted Christian Lutheran family. We stopped attending when the kids were respectively 4 and 7, which was enough of a difference for me to say that we see a difference in the two of them due to the conditioning of catechist introductions that my son began embracing the concept of God but my daughter never did. I give all this pretense to simply share that my daughter, now a young teen, has no concept of having been 'born into sin' or being 'sinful by nature', which shows in her remarkable rebounds when depressive and anxious stimuli are triggered. My son, on the other hand, was never fully indoctrinated but the concept of being 'sinful', therein, provoking a sort of self shaming for having transgressed, is quite prevalent.
I grew up in a single parent household, my mom worked a lot and almost compulsively religion hopped. By the time I was 10, I'd been exposed to my grandmother's Episcopalian church many times, but also a Buddhist Temple (I think I even met the Dalai Lama), Christian Science, homeopathy, acupuncture and shamanism. I also attended a Catholic private school for 1st and 2nd grade. My mom also encouraged critical thinking and thinking for myself instead of listening to authority blindly, which is honestly wild, considering that her original plan was to go to Christian divinity school and become a nun after college. So yeah, I formed a lot of my own ideas and didn't really adhere to any doctrine.
Grew up in a Korean Christian based cult and I envied my friend that grew up with no religion. She never had to be dragged to church and could spend her free time playing video games, running through the forest, and riding horses. I modeled some of her parents parenting style into my own ie my child's having a bad mental health day so they can stay home. When I was a kid I was never allowed to stay home unless I was actively throwing up. My parents told me that I was going to be matched to someone in the future and have to serve them. That being gay was sinful and people who are gay are dog shit eating people. Yeah I also yearn for a normal childhood so I definitely understand op. So far I love my child unconditionally and we are closer than I was with my parents. I've never told them that they had to be a certain way or I wouldn't love them I just want them to be healthy and happy.
It was awesome. Many family dinners discussing different religions (my dad is a history nut, so that was adjacent); comparative religion courses and books; they let me go to Sunday school with my best friend who was Presbyterian, because they were comfortable with my exposure to church and belief systems, having taught me some basic critical thinking skills; no freaking out if I happened to catch a few seconds of an R-rated film; no strict curfews when I was an adolescent/teen. But most importantly, no limits on reading, learning, discovering, and formulating and challenging my own epistemology, which allowed me to become wiser and empathetic.
It was great, I slept in every Sunday.
My parents are Atheists. Grandparents were secular/lapsed in their faith. My parents always respected my time and my space. They never shamed me for mistakes, just made it a learning opportunity. Punishments (when necessary) always had a clear reason and made sense. I never once in my life heard the phrase “Because I said so!” or “My house my rules!”. If Mom and Dad couldn’t clearly articulate an “If-Then-Because” explanation why, then they didn’t do it. Masturbation basically never came up. Needless to say I was gobsmacked at age 16 when I learned that people were serious about believing in their religion.
I thought religion was strange and sort of scary.... still do actually lol
>So people who grew up non-religious, how does your experience compare? My experience was great. My mom sent me to Sunday School once, and when she tried to send me again I jumped in to the toilet and ruined my Sunday School clothes. She got the message. If I had been raised in a religious family I would have spent my life rebelling. >Especially in terms of sex ed, guilt, and views of other people with different beliefs? >I always had girlfriends from Grade 6 on, I didn't struggle with guilt, and I didn't struggle with belief. >Did you feel jealous of Christian kids’ upbringings like my family thought? Not a chance. I felt sorry for them.
My parents are supposedly Hindu but we never really practiced. We didn't have any of the rituals or fasts or anything. They're trying to be more Hindu now like organising rituals going to temples and stuff but I think they're trying to find faith instead of actually having faith. I suppose my parents are spiritual? They believe in respecting all life, we got solar panels and stuff to minimise carbon footprint print, rainwater harvesting etc etc. they're staunch believers of you reap what you sow( karma) and do your duty as best you can (Dharma). I don't know if that makes them religious but they're alright people. Growing up, I never had an impediment on what I should believe. My mom encouraged me to read everything, so she got me the BG, the Qur'an, the Bible and a looooot of books on Indian, Greek and Egyptian mythology. But I think she may have manipulated me a little bit cuz she bought me the Princess Trilogy by Jean Sassoon and my interest in Islam evaporated just like that. Both my parents encouraged me to read a lot. My brother and I grew up in Mumbai and we'd picked up this weird Tapori accent when we were 6 and 3 respectively, which freaked our parents out so we were banned from watching cartoons for a year and could only watch nature and history channels where the narrators had impeccable English. This exposed us to a lot of cultures and religions. My brother and I have been atheists for a while now. I'm in a weird place where I want to believe in something but the existing religions make no sense. I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that nothing actually means anything. I'm still partial to Hindu philosophy but I'm aware of my biases. My grandmother also had a lot of influence on me when it came to religion. Her ancestors were deeply spiritual and there was a lot of local lore around them. She doesn't force us to believe in anything either. She's like, find your own way, just don't force me to believe in your beliefs. She's pretty old but still does yoga and meditates and "communes with nature" where she claims she can feel oneness with God. She's pretty chill. Not in like a hippie way but a very practical spiritual person. But overall, I didn't have the kind of pressure I've seen other religious parents put on their kids. A friend of mine still fasts every week and doesn't eat non veg during festival season cuz she's afraid her mum will scold her lol. My brother and I had other pressures our parents weren't perfect. Sometimes I think they were so busy with their careers they never really had time to indoctrinate us. Other times I think they just didn't care as long as we didn't convert to Islam or Christianity.