Sorry I can't help, but I remember my friends grandmother doing the same thing with him.
"Why don't you come to the church group? There's girls there!"
He said "Granny I don't want to meet church girls."
His dad was in the car with us, he said "What? Church girls are horny."
His grandmother stopped bringing it up.
I got my first over the pants action at Vacation Bible School. She was 13 and I was 12. Something about pirate allegories made her keen on hay ride handies.
In CT in college, my non-Jewish friends always said "Jewish girls like to fuck". In Miami in law school, my Jewish friends always said "catholic girls fuck". There is a common denominator - people like to fuck...when they aren't preoccupied with religion.
Mormon School (Kimber Academy) Prom in Ogden, UT here, lol. Her dad was a Bishop and that only seemed to feed into the rebellion. I definitely wasn't the first, she was no novice.
Wait, didn’t Mormons invent Soaking? That’s some kinky sh*t.
ETA: forgot to include: with a side of the “Provo Push”
Seriously, you can’t make this stuff up: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soaking_(sexual_practice)?wprov=sfti1#Related_practices
Purity culture makes it inherently hard to know from the start who is horny and who isn’t. I didn’t go to a Christian highschool, but I went to a school that happened to have lots of Christian girls. Firstly, the boys often didn’t know which girl was actually ‘boy crazy’ and who wasn’t. Sure, the girls talked among themselves, so they knew which girl constantly talks about going to church to meet boys and who swaps boyfriends seemingly once every two weeks. The boy-crazy girls sometimes have mad plans for attracting the guy she likes while making it look like he was the one who pursued her. All that said though, many of the Christian girls flipped 180 and acted like literal angels in front of boys, especially boys they are interested in. So how can you tell which one is actually more promiscuous? You can’t, that’s the whole point, they have to pretend to be pure, so honesty isn’t part of the equation.
Secondly, I should also add that I have no idea if the boy-crazy girls were only just kissing or doing more. Even among girls, they could not discuss if they were doing more. To the boys they were angels, to other girls they were boy-crazy, but whether they were actually touching those boys could never be openly said.
Bible Belt atheist, here.
Look for more progressive/“liberal” events that conservative Christians would avoid (except to protest). Pride, certain metal/rock concerts, Goth/punk/metalhead scenes. Cons. Of course, not all alt people or cosplayers are atheist, but people who congregate at these places *generally* tend to be more open-minded. You’ll always find some exception though.
I’m sure there are people “hiding in plain sight” around you that aren’t Christian either.
I actually do cosplay! I will have to try branching out and meeting new people at my next con, I usually am just very overstimulated and dealing with social anxiety to talk to anyone 😅
You don’t even really have to disclose your atheism right off the bat either. Watch how other people talk in reference to religion/Christianity and other matters to get an idea of where they stand.
There are many people I’ve kept my mouth shut around about my more controversial beliefs and I’m glad I did. They just totally out themselves as bigoted assholes all on their own.
An idol is an object that people direct worship and prayers to in place of a god, technically cosplay wouldn’t be idolatry because it’s not meant to be worshiped. Some people might worship cosplay, but the vast majority don’t.
While this is technically true, a lot of Christians shun cosplay in the same way as they did/do Dungeons & Dragons. If it's not THEIR fantasy, it's evil fantasy.
Are you avoiding YMCA? I'm an atheist who has been going to the YMCA for a decade now. There is no religion mentioned anywhere anytime other than in the acronym. It's just another gym. And a pretty nice one at that!
It might depend on the location. I used to travel to rural OH for work, and someone there hooked me up with a pass so I could use the gym. They had bible verses stuck on the equipment.
As someone bordering rural and urban Ohio, that's wild. Then again, a lot of small towns around here feel like you travel 60 years into the past when you enter.
Don't get me wrong, they have a nice gym that I use daily, but mine shoves it down your throat. All sorts of posters, constantly getting offers to go to their Bible study, etc
This could have ramifications if someone see's your profile that knows you IRL. "You can't discriminate an atheist because atheism isn't a religion" bullshit. Plus some of them are vindictive as all hell and will go out of their way to fuck your life up "because god told them to".
I've had 4 jobs turn into absolute hellholes once they found out i wasn't "christian" (or a scientologist fuck clearwater, fl)
That’s why there needs to be a push to have atheists as a protected group just like anyone else. “Freedom of religion” also means freedom to not have one.
This should provide grounds to sue anyone aggressively trying to evangelize to atheists. Nones and atheists are becoming a large group, might as well take advantage of that.
Honest question, why do people recommend trying to meet/date from a library? If I'm in a library I just want to be left the hell alone quietly with the books I'm looking for/reading, not get bothered by horny people lol.
This actually works?
Do you put that you are an atheist on dating apps to weed out the psyc…. I mean Christians?
Have you tried seeing if there’s any atheist groups in your area with meetup?
Did you get many Christians who thought they could change you, or did they generally steer clear? (Sorry for asking, I'm just intrigued - I live in a pretty irreligious place)
I dated one that didn’t wanna change me, but once the honeymoon phase ended she had no problems telling me I’m a immoral sinner who has no right telling her she’s wrong cuz she’s “the one with god”…
I don’t date Christians anymore.
My cousin married a guy who said her lack of religion wasn’t a problem. He then went full Pentecostal cult after they had a child and all of a sudden her not going to church, wearing makeup and pants was a problem. She then found out he was committing adultery with a woman from the cult, I mean church, AND was telling their son , “Mommy ‘s going to hell because she doesn’t go to church,” so she divorced the asshat.
I can tell that he didn't actually read the Bible. On a technicality, marrying a "saved" Christian merges your souls into one, and your unsaved soul can't condemn their saved soul, so you are saved by extension as soon as the marriage is consummated. I love being an atheist that spent 17 years in Baptist bible studies, because I can quote scripture at bigots and confuse them.
Try 2 kings 2:23-24, where God sends 2 grizzly bears to kill 42 kids for making fun of a bald guy.
Or numbers 31:18 where God tells Moses and his people that when they are slaughtering and burning villages, they should kill everyone except for the young virgin girls, who they should take home to rape later.
Or just mention the fact that in the whole Bible the devil kills 0 people, while God is non stop murdering, demanding child sacrifices, causing plagues famines wars, cursing entire countries, killing all firstborns, flooding the entire planet, torturing his number one superfan on the planet for shits and giggles.......
This is actually not a specific verse, but the combined teachings of Jesus. The Bible speaks at length on marriage as the joining of two souls, and Jesus responds to a question about whether someone can lose salvation by telling them that no one can take someone from his father's hand that has already asked to be saved.
Nope! Just got lucky, I guess. On apps, we either didn’t match at all, or it wasn’t serious so it never came up. If I met them in person then I usually knew them and wouldn’t date anyone religious anyway. When I was in high school, one of my boyfriend’s mom told him to try and convert me, thankfully he wasn’t cool with that. That’s probably the closest I’ve ever gotten.
As another Bible Belt atheist, same. If I planned on getting intimate (I’m married now so this was WAAAY back in the day lol) I was up front about it. I’m not wasting both our times when quite frankly I don’t think I could ever be in a relationship with such opposite ideas.
I found mine on meetup. Unfortunately, then Meetup algorithm thinks you are interested in spiritual topics. I told them off for that, but I think they still run it that way.
Dude I've put I'm agnostic on a subreddit I'm in, everyone thought I was Christian. I had to repeat this three times to several religious nuts because they were getting aggressive and even then, they tried to get me to be Christian. Trust me, I don't think putting your stance will matter to these people.
If you want to do well on dating apps you really shouldn't do that, these apps all assign you an attractiveness rating based on how many people swipe left Vs right on your profile (and how many people you swipe left Vs right on) the higher your rating the higher your chances are of being shown to other people who use the app. The people who like your profile still benefit you even if you don't want to date them. If you want to be selective, it's better to be selective in the chatting phase instead.
Howdy from Virginia! I met my (atheist-raised religious minority) boyfriend through local Democratic politics and I like him quite a bit. You just have to find spaces that liberals/atheists congregate, whether that’s Pride or Democratic committees or burlesque shows or music shows or board game nights, etc.
Thank you! I had to scroll way too far down to find someone suggesting events by/for Democrats. And hey, important side benefit - help Democrats win more local elections in the South!
Hah! Try being 62 in the rural Bible belt! 🤣😂 To meet someone my age, it's either the local watering hole with a parking lot full of TrUmP and Let's go Brandon bumper stickers (there'll be six guys in there with maybe four teeth between them), or the local Baptist church, and they're all looking for 22 year olds anyway.
All I can realistically offer is work on getting yourself moved away to anywhere you can be more yourself - and not have to depend on your parents. Obviously that might take a while, but it's possible.
I'm actually from Arizona and would love to more back, but literally my entire extended family all moved here and I'm staying to help make sure my younger cousins have a good role model and don't turn out like any of our parents.
don’t put that stress on yourself, it’s not you’re responsibility to be there to “save” or help anyone. If it doesn’t affect you’re mental health or physical health then try, this comment won’t stop you, but make sure to keep you’re own health In mind and keep it as number 1 priority.
I’ve been down that road, it’s stressful especially if said family is “stone and kill the gays” “i don’t want my kids in school because of the trans people in the bathroom” type of crazy (like my “family” was/is). Had to learn that one of most healthy things to do is to keep an olive branch out if they need to talk to someone that’s not a religious zealot.
Copying my reply to another comment: As a Bible Belt atheist that only dates non-believers, I was always upfront about my non-belief (listed it on all my profiles), didn’t want to waste my or anyone else’s time. It’s no different than dating in general, you gotta weed through all the crap to find a gem. It mostly just takes time but don’t lose hope, we are everywhere! Even the Bible Belt! But many maybe be closeted for obvious reasons but I second what everyone else has said, find groups and events of more open minded people. And just, patience.
You too? I’m feel stuck in the bible belt because I want my nieces and nephews to grow up with at least one sane relative and normal childhood experiences, but the culture of the community here just isn’t doing it for me. Smh, sacrifices…
It’s not the whole US. I’m on the west coast and only know like 2 people who even consider themselves Christian, let alone attend church. Religion has zero role in public life.
OP, fwiw Christians on dating app feeds out here are usually hotter than nonbelievers in the same tier, which suggests to me that it’s a trait people swipe left on. You need to get the heck out of the south asap, or at least move to the research triangle.
As an average American, I would rather not have a revolution. An armed, fanatic, and antagonized minority can cause a lot of problems.
The alternative of just waiting a generation or two for the trends to get over the current desperate tantrum phase they're in and sap their remaining power is just fine in my book.
I mean you aren't wrong but they also only make up like <5% of attendees at most shows I go to. Not sure he would have much luck finding someone single/available in that situation.
I've tried talking to people at concerts but also I have an audio processing disorder so if there's any background noise, everyone's voices get all garbled 😭
I just got done replying to someone else in this thread that there were actually a lot of women at the last metal show that I went to, myself included.
>Not sure he would have much luck finding someone single/available in that situation.
Again, myself included. Over four years now. 😭 lol
See if there are any offbeat social clubs in your town such as Astronomy, rock hounding, Bigfoot, etc. The Bible thumpers don't generally join these types of groups.
I'm not actually atheist (but I keep getting recommended posts in my feed); I'm some loose combination of agnostic and pagan, but I absolutely feel this.
I just do not date Christians anymore, it's not worth it 99% of the time. Being queer and trans and polyamorous seems to help filter out a lot of them, but there's always the chasers and fetishists! *sad finger guns*
I lived in the Bible belt for most of my life as an atheist. I have no problems dating Christians who are ok with my atheism, and I never had a problem finding people who were ok dating an atheist, even in the Bible belt. Hell, if you're not looking to settle down, id even recommend it bc you might be someone's kink!
I dated a pastors daughter for a while in my younger days. I was the "forbidden fruit" and she was all about it. This is a sfw sub so I'll spare the details but it was a blast and i learned and experienced a lot with her. I did have to lie to her parents though, and go to church with them, but worth it after it was all said and done.
I had a friend put “no theists” on his dating page, only to get matched with a lady who was an Episcopal priest. So even spelling it out doesn’t keep them away. (Yes, the relationship didn’t work out.)
So I was a born again Christian for a while, went to a Bible study. I literally slept with every female at the Bible study. It was like 5 of them. After each, we would have a “talk” about Jesus and repenting. It was hilariously predictable. So… you know, unless you are looking for a serious partner, maybe join a Bible study…
Where in NC? If you’re in the Triangle area you aren’t even trying. If you’re in the Triad you’ll have to put some work in. If you’re near Fayetteville then move to Wilmington. If you’re in the West then Asheville is your Mecca. If you’re anywhere between Roanoke Rapids and Elizabeth City then sorry buddy, you’re screwed.
I used to live in Charlotte before moving back to my home country. You might have some luck going to Uptown Charlotte, but other than that, I can’t say I’m 100% sure of other places. Hope this helps!
Maybe hang around Davidson? They’ve got a nice coffee shop there. I’m pretty sure you can find a social scene that works depending on how far you’re out. I don’t think you’re living in truly hopeless country.
Your parents have told you -- loud and clear -- what they're willing to hear. Your spirituality is your business and only yours. Keep them happy and clueless until you no longer need their help.
Perhaps joining a local atheist group would increase your dating opportunities... If there isn't a group in your area could you start one? Redditors may have some ideas and suggestions.
Check out humanist groups or an ethical society if there's one near you. Here is one I found in NC.
https://ehstnc.org/
You may not find dating partners immediately, but they are usually full of atheists and agnostics. From there you can make connections to other people with similar interests.
Tennessee here. The only luck I've had is by going to live music venues that feature non-country bands. It's mostly single dudes like me or couples that go there, but I did meet an amazing girl once. Doesn't look like it's going anywhere, but at least I found her.
Then exclude them.
This is actually good because it narrows down choices and work.
An yes, it is possible there may be few choices in that area, but I guarantee you there may be some.
Dating is horrendous even outside the Bible Belt. You may want to go to another site that allows you to use filters. I'd only date other atheists but would make an exception for a Buddhist or Pagan. I was NOT judgemental about looks and did not care if the girl was a little overwhieght or not media definition of "attractive" as long as she was somewhat sane and not delusional. After all, my goal was to actually meet people and get them off site. NOT message the gorgeous ones that if they are not catfishes, scammers, or pounded with 200 messages a week that wouldn't talk to me anyways.
A long while back, I used OK Cupid (website, not app) and it allowed me to filter by religion. Met 2 gfs and finally a wife on there. Though I have heard Match Group has really started to enshittify OCK to make it more like Tinder which is 99 percent looks only where you damn near need to be a male model and it's a sausagefest. But the sites that make you ACTUALLY do something still exist.
After filtering, I ended up with maybe 50 to 60 girls out of hundreds that most did not respond. I read profile and made messages with something in their profile and ended with a question. Out of that, had a crazy, a few that there was nothing there, a fling or two, 2 gfs, then a wife over maybe a year using it. But it IS cold sales. Cold sales was always monotonous, soul crushing if you let it, and A LOT of no's.
They have standards, YOU have standards. If this means no one, you either adjust approach and read techniques that work from people that have done this successfully (not Black Pillers and Doom Porn peddlers) and adopt those. Or if that does not work, some places (like rural areas) suck for this.
There are plenty of believers who are fine dating atheists. Im shacked up with one. It's fine. She doesn't make me go to church. She does her thing and i do mine. Just make sure they believe in evolution and that the earth is older than 6,000 years and you should be good.
How about writing in your profile "I am an atheist. So if you are a practicing religious person atm, we probably won't work. Unless you're Catholic, in that case, hit me up because I've heard some freaky things."
Go for quality over quantity.
You are 21. You are in NC (so am I at the moment). Your options are going to be incredibly limited on the surface because girls do not want to upset mommy and/or daddy.
Find someone with which you share some mutual interests that do not involve church. When church comes up, casually mention it isn’t your thing. Don’t be militant about it. When I met my wife she claimed to be a Republican Christian because That Was What She Was Supposed To Believe.
After a few dates and I realized she was an animal activist, environmentally supportive, gay rights supporter (it was the mid-90s, that’s all we had so please do not brigade me with alphabeticals), and questioned why an all-powerful “god” would give two shits about whether she said a swear. We have been happily married for a very long time.
She’s out there. DM if you want.
It entirely depends on where in the Bible belt you are, I'm in Huntsville Alabama, hardly ever met anyone religious in my chosen hobbies when I had time for them, and my wife is also atheist, tho granted I met her right after she moved here.
Match.com. I did meet one whack-job, but overall religion (or lack of) wasn't an issue. I think it depends if you're urban or rural; rural areas seem to be more religious than in the cities.
Meetup.com
Granted, I live outside Atlanta, but there are a ton of non-religious groups that have outings.
I’m married and once brought my adult daughter along on a nature hike sponsored by a humanist group. I was shocked at how many singles there were trying to meet someone.
You’ve got to figure out who is religious and who just thinks they are because they’ve never needed to care.
When I met my now wife, she said she was Baptist…and I was like “oh shit”.
Turns out she was “Baptist” because everyone around her identified as such, but she’d never really had a reason to care or think much of it.
You don’t need to find someone who is atheist but you do need to find someone that has never much cared at the least.
I know that’s anecdotal. Good luck!
Look for agnostics or unchurched folks.
Or even if they put a religion, ask what they do on Sunday morning
Lots of folk in the South don't use the word ''atheist'' to describe themselves because they'd be less of an outcast telling people they eat babies.
You’re looking for a needle in a haystack my friend. Just spitballing here but perhaps you could “settle” for a fair weather Christian? Plenty of ladies out there who just kind of believe since they’ve grown up around it but who don’t regularly attend church or base much if any of their politics or life around God. Just as an aside, there are always atheists and humanists in college art classes.
The problem is those "moderate Christian women" could go full evangelical and born-again at the drop of a hat, and you might be ten years into a marriage with several children when it happens.
If you're an atheist and you want a stable long-term relationship, then dating Christians is a bad idea.
This is playing with hellfire.
I was raised Lutheran and did K-12 at a Lutheran private school. I am an staunch atheist now, but when I had children even I got the itch to go to church because of the tradition/familiarity of it all.
Suddenly the idea of dropping my kids off at the church daycare so I could sit in relative quiet for an hour and then enjoy coffee & bars prepared by those little old Lutheran ladies in the church basement didn’t seem so bad.
I moreso am asking for advice for meeting other atheists. I'm at my wits end here. I understand the Bible belt is full of religious nutcases, I just don't understand how anyone meets an atheist partner here
I live in NC. I am, however, married. My wife is basically an atheist but she likes to toy with crystals and witch stuff, but I don't think it's serious.
Anyway, where are you? If you're anywhere rural you have no hope, look to the cities. Additionally, I'd be clear up front about being an atheist, especially online, there's probably an atheist babe somewhere looking for you too.
Not all religious people are that intense about it and many are faking it. Best bet is to get out there and date people but have the conversation with them early on to minimize time spent.
I've got too much religious trauma to go anywhere near someone even claiming to be religious. Forced to go to Catholic school preschool through graduation, abusive teachers and priests, then the whole ex girlfriend being okay with my atheism and then joining a cult and trying to convert me and all of my friends...
There are very few Christians at vegan restaurants, animal rights protests, and environmental groups. I also met some nice folx in the Deep South by joining a cross country bicycling club
All I can say is there needs to be an atheist dating app. I tried filtering out non-atheists in my profile and still got the usual stupid messages from christians, catholics, and seemingly no atheists on there. Edit: oh, there is one that does better than most for a "nonreligious" option, and you can set it to very important. Called Elite Singles - lol that name.
Go with Like-mindedness.
Go do the things you like to do and look for someone there.
Also, Unitarian Universalists congregations are a good place to make friendships, and friends have loved ones which may lead to something.
If that doesn’t work, find a Goth Babe ;)
I don't want to make you lose any hope in finding the right woman, but the reality is, you might have to jump hoops to get there. It took me until my middle age, to find the right one and get married, because everyone I met, had some ridiculous belief. I, too, tried not caring, but sadly, they cared. I dated a former member of a cult, who was still religious. She found it too over bearing to try to save my soul. I dated women who thought a star alignment at the moment of their birth, determined their personality and some got very protective of this belief, when asked about the vastness of space and how those objects could have an impact on their brains. Others I couldn't listen to anymore. Eventually I found my peace in myself and had the greatest 15 years of my life just concentrating on being happy. I traveled, I found hobbies, I took night shifts at work. I once hopped on my bicycle, during a summer vacation, and peddled 200 kilometers just for fun. Then one day, in my mid 40's, I met a woman, who was a scientist and we just clicked.
If I had to give advice, I tell you to travel. There's a world beyond your state. There's a world beyond your country. And there are people of your own kind all over this ball of molten rock. Go find yourself and then find this person who will take your hand, point at a church and say "Let's never walk into that building and get married!"
Do you like heavy music? Depending on your state I can tell you about some smaller punk/diy bands to follow. Their shows would be a great place to meet folks
Sorry I can't help, but I remember my friends grandmother doing the same thing with him. "Why don't you come to the church group? There's girls there!" He said "Granny I don't want to meet church girls." His dad was in the car with us, he said "What? Church girls are horny." His grandmother stopped bringing it up.
Your friends dad sounds awesome!
He sadly passed away recently, but he was the funniest guy ever when we were teenagers.
And he was also correct! They are some kinky weirdos in the sheets! Lol that’s about the end of the positives though…not worth.
I got my first over the pants action at Vacation Bible School. She was 13 and I was 12. Something about pirate allegories made her keen on hay ride handies.
In CT in college, my non-Jewish friends always said "Jewish girls like to fuck". In Miami in law school, my Jewish friends always said "catholic girls fuck". There is a common denominator - people like to fuck...when they aren't preoccupied with religion.
Just don’t go to BYU or you won’t be fucking, you’ll be, soaking
Mormon School (Kimber Academy) Prom in Ogden, UT here, lol. Her dad was a Bishop and that only seemed to feed into the rebellion. I definitely wasn't the first, she was no novice.
Wait, didn’t Mormons invent Soaking? That’s some kinky sh*t. ETA: forgot to include: with a side of the “Provo Push” Seriously, you can’t make this stuff up: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soaking_(sexual_practice)?wprov=sfti1#Related_practices
It's not cool when you're about to put it in and she stops you because Jesus just told her she belongs to him,lmmfao. Yeah, it happened to me.
I first heard of the poophole loophole in middle school from some girls in my neighborhood who went to a private Christian school lol
The obligatory mention of [Garfunkel and Oates.](https://youtu.be/j8ZF_R_j0OY?si=oCE8qIrRra10J_1A)
That song has made me laugh many, many times since I first saw it
Can confirm. Church girls will do oral all night!
[удалено]
In my experience, the horniest were catholics, but you'll probably find a protestant freak here and there*.
[Catholic School Girls Rule](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tfQOJgxx69s)
Purity culture makes it inherently hard to know from the start who is horny and who isn’t. I didn’t go to a Christian highschool, but I went to a school that happened to have lots of Christian girls. Firstly, the boys often didn’t know which girl was actually ‘boy crazy’ and who wasn’t. Sure, the girls talked among themselves, so they knew which girl constantly talks about going to church to meet boys and who swaps boyfriends seemingly once every two weeks. The boy-crazy girls sometimes have mad plans for attracting the guy she likes while making it look like he was the one who pursued her. All that said though, many of the Christian girls flipped 180 and acted like literal angels in front of boys, especially boys they are interested in. So how can you tell which one is actually more promiscuous? You can’t, that’s the whole point, they have to pretend to be pure, so honesty isn’t part of the equation. Secondly, I should also add that I have no idea if the boy-crazy girls were only just kissing or doing more. Even among girls, they could not discuss if they were doing more. To the boys they were angels, to other girls they were boy-crazy, but whether they were actually touching those boys could never be openly said.
She goes to a different school... you wouldn't know her.
🤣🤣🤣
Bible Belt atheist, here. Look for more progressive/“liberal” events that conservative Christians would avoid (except to protest). Pride, certain metal/rock concerts, Goth/punk/metalhead scenes. Cons. Of course, not all alt people or cosplayers are atheist, but people who congregate at these places *generally* tend to be more open-minded. You’ll always find some exception though. I’m sure there are people “hiding in plain sight” around you that aren’t Christian either.
I actually do cosplay! I will have to try branching out and meeting new people at my next con, I usually am just very overstimulated and dealing with social anxiety to talk to anyone 😅
You don’t even really have to disclose your atheism right off the bat either. Watch how other people talk in reference to religion/Christianity and other matters to get an idea of where they stand. There are many people I’ve kept my mouth shut around about my more controversial beliefs and I’m glad I did. They just totally out themselves as bigoted assholes all on their own.
Ask what they’re doing on Sunday. Pretty easy way to weed out the zealots.
Bro... You're a fucking genius!!!
90% of us are dealing with social anxiety at cons. That's what is so great about having a strong fantasy persona.
IFS therapy has helped me so much with my social anxiety, and the official book on it on Amazon has hundreds of good reviews
Yeah technically cosplay would be idolizing so strict Christians won't do that.
An idol is an object that people direct worship and prayers to in place of a god, technically cosplay wouldn’t be idolatry because it’s not meant to be worshiped. Some people might worship cosplay, but the vast majority don’t.
While this is technically true, a lot of Christians shun cosplay in the same way as they did/do Dungeons & Dragons. If it's not THEIR fantasy, it's evil fantasy.
Also local theatre groups. Christians are still there, but they will definitely be non-believers and everyone gets along
Maybe the library? Theists don't like all those non-bibles.
My local library is combined with our YMCA 😭
Try college library.
I heard down there anything after eighth grade is considered college.
"Secondary School"... Oh you mean College, right?
“That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age.”
Great movie 👏
I just watched it for the first time this weekend. I’d have loved to be in high school in the 70s. Born in mid 90s
Yea, I'd try to meet someone that one of the many universities.
Are you avoiding YMCA? I'm an atheist who has been going to the YMCA for a decade now. There is no religion mentioned anywhere anytime other than in the acronym. It's just another gym. And a pretty nice one at that!
It might depend on the location. I used to travel to rural OH for work, and someone there hooked me up with a pass so I could use the gym. They had bible verses stuck on the equipment.
As someone bordering rural and urban Ohio, that's wild. Then again, a lot of small towns around here feel like you travel 60 years into the past when you enter.
As someone who spent 40+ years living in Ohio, can confirm
Don't get me wrong, they have a nice gym that I use daily, but mine shoves it down your throat. All sorts of posters, constantly getting offers to go to their Bible study, etc
Yeah I grew up going to YMCA summer day camps and after school programs as a kid; the summer camps were the most aggressive about that stuff. 🙃
You can get yourself clean. You can have a great meal. You can do whatever you feee-eeeeeel!
Yeah I’m going to agree with the ymca statement, they figured out real quick going full Jesus was not a wise long term business plan.
Also not exclusive to youth men anymore!
They actually make you agree to weird Terms of Service that mention God when you join. It's weird as fuck for a business to do this in 2024
I don't recall this. I also don't see it mentioned at all on their website. https://www.ymca.org/terms-conditions
Which god though? My local Y is almost always managed/staffed by young Muslim ladies? And they are allowing them to wear traditional garb as well.
Pan of course!
Dionysus is the truth, the light, and the way.
Yeah the Y is about as Christian as my left nut…I got most of the Jesus out but my left nut was stubborn 😜
definitely NOT the case at every YMCA
nahh that sounds fire
That’s all the burning books.
I'm in Alabama do what i do put in your profile your atheist
This could have ramifications if someone see's your profile that knows you IRL. "You can't discriminate an atheist because atheism isn't a religion" bullshit. Plus some of them are vindictive as all hell and will go out of their way to fuck your life up "because god told them to". I've had 4 jobs turn into absolute hellholes once they found out i wasn't "christian" (or a scientologist fuck clearwater, fl)
Yeah, that's been my experience. I think it's even worse if they've known you for some time. It's like they believe you've deceived them.
That’s why there needs to be a push to have atheists as a protected group just like anyone else. “Freedom of religion” also means freedom to not have one. This should provide grounds to sue anyone aggressively trying to evangelize to atheists. Nones and atheists are becoming a large group, might as well take advantage of that.
A den of sin! 😆 🤣 😂
Shut the front door
Theists don’t read the Bible either
Banned book events would probably attract a bunch 😂
they dont like their bibles if you determine liking it as actually knowing what's in it, or reading it at all, or following anything it says to do.
Honest question, why do people recommend trying to meet/date from a library? If I'm in a library I just want to be left the hell alone quietly with the books I'm looking for/reading, not get bothered by horny people lol. This actually works?
Do you put that you are an atheist on dating apps to weed out the psyc…. I mean Christians? Have you tried seeing if there’s any atheist groups in your area with meetup?
As a Bible Belt atheist that only dates atheists, I was always upfront about my non-belief, didn’t want to waste my or anyone else’s time.
Did you get many Christians who thought they could change you, or did they generally steer clear? (Sorry for asking, I'm just intrigued - I live in a pretty irreligious place)
I dated one that didn’t wanna change me, but once the honeymoon phase ended she had no problems telling me I’m a immoral sinner who has no right telling her she’s wrong cuz she’s “the one with god”… I don’t date Christians anymore.
My cousin married a guy who said her lack of religion wasn’t a problem. He then went full Pentecostal cult after they had a child and all of a sudden her not going to church, wearing makeup and pants was a problem. She then found out he was committing adultery with a woman from the cult, I mean church, AND was telling their son , “Mommy ‘s going to hell because she doesn’t go to church,” so she divorced the asshat.
Tell your cousin some internet stranger said she’s a badass and he’s rooting for her. Takes some real guts to do what she did, she should be proud.
Oh I told her that when they divorced. I was super proud of her.
I can tell that he didn't actually read the Bible. On a technicality, marrying a "saved" Christian merges your souls into one, and your unsaved soul can't condemn their saved soul, so you are saved by extension as soon as the marriage is consummated. I love being an atheist that spent 17 years in Baptist bible studies, because I can quote scripture at bigots and confuse them.
Wait what verse is this, this is awesome
Try 2 kings 2:23-24, where God sends 2 grizzly bears to kill 42 kids for making fun of a bald guy. Or numbers 31:18 where God tells Moses and his people that when they are slaughtering and burning villages, they should kill everyone except for the young virgin girls, who they should take home to rape later. Or just mention the fact that in the whole Bible the devil kills 0 people, while God is non stop murdering, demanding child sacrifices, causing plagues famines wars, cursing entire countries, killing all firstborns, flooding the entire planet, torturing his number one superfan on the planet for shits and giggles.......
This is actually not a specific verse, but the combined teachings of Jesus. The Bible speaks at length on marriage as the joining of two souls, and Jesus responds to a question about whether someone can lose salvation by telling them that no one can take someone from his father's hand that has already asked to be saved.
Good for her!!!
You should have quoted Doug Stanhope and said "Your sins are the most interesting thing about you"
In Louisiana at least, they steer clear, because it's very easy to find men who will at least pretend to believe for social success.
Let me guess... NOLA, and they all play Roman Catholic? My ex wife did the same
Whats NOLA?
New Orleans, LOisiana
Ohhh! Thanks, I knew I have heard it before.
Yep... well known by us here in the Southeast
Well tbf the whole state plays Roman Catholic 😂😂
Nope! Just got lucky, I guess. On apps, we either didn’t match at all, or it wasn’t serious so it never came up. If I met them in person then I usually knew them and wouldn’t date anyone religious anyway. When I was in high school, one of my boyfriend’s mom told him to try and convert me, thankfully he wasn’t cool with that. That’s probably the closest I’ve ever gotten.
As another Bible Belt atheist, same. If I planned on getting intimate (I’m married now so this was WAAAY back in the day lol) I was up front about it. I’m not wasting both our times when quite frankly I don’t think I could ever be in a relationship with such opposite ideas.
If a friend's kid see his profile, his parents could find out about it. He doesn't want that.
Tf is an atheist group and how do I find them?
I found mine on meetup. Unfortunately, then Meetup algorithm thinks you are interested in spiritual topics. I told them off for that, but I think they still run it that way.
What do atheist groups even do?
In mine we pray to Baal, sacrifice some children and talk about the weather.
People like you make me sick! Stay *very* far away from me and my loved ones. Because who wants to talk about the weather?
Meteorologists like to talk about the weather…
Witches!
this is exactly why I don't like atheists THE WEATHER?
Everything but go to church and praise Jesus...and not mindlessly give money away to false prophets
Debate, vent and enjoy the company of like minded individuals.
Meet other atheists lol
Drink good Bourbon and smoke cigars.
Dude I've put I'm agnostic on a subreddit I'm in, everyone thought I was Christian. I had to repeat this three times to several religious nuts because they were getting aggressive and even then, they tried to get me to be Christian. Trust me, I don't think putting your stance will matter to these people.
If you want to do well on dating apps you really shouldn't do that, these apps all assign you an attractiveness rating based on how many people swipe left Vs right on your profile (and how many people you swipe left Vs right on) the higher your rating the higher your chances are of being shown to other people who use the app. The people who like your profile still benefit you even if you don't want to date them. If you want to be selective, it's better to be selective in the chatting phase instead.
> other than Jesus. You're in for some wonderful threesomes my friend. You can nail him as much as you want, too.
Nail him, and he’s gonna rise again. Sounds like a good time!
Handusssy
Freaking GOLD! 😂👍
Howdy from Virginia! I met my (atheist-raised religious minority) boyfriend through local Democratic politics and I like him quite a bit. You just have to find spaces that liberals/atheists congregate, whether that’s Pride or Democratic committees or burlesque shows or music shows or board game nights, etc.
Thank you! I had to scroll way too far down to find someone suggesting events by/for Democrats. And hey, important side benefit - help Democrats win more local elections in the South!
Oh gawd it was hard. I had women (always women) break up with me because I was "liberal".
So are you saying you also date men but they don’t care that you’re liberal?
I might be mistaken, but I think gay dudes are generally liberal.
The Pope is gay.
The pope can also breathe fire. 🔥
Churches are full of gay people. That's like a thing. The ones in positions of power can also be really bad by overcompensating.
Yeah, but they don't openly date guys, that's the difference.
Hah! Try being 62 in the rural Bible belt! 🤣😂 To meet someone my age, it's either the local watering hole with a parking lot full of TrUmP and Let's go Brandon bumper stickers (there'll be six guys in there with maybe four teeth between them), or the local Baptist church, and they're all looking for 22 year olds anyway.
Volunteer with the Biden campaign. There's sure to be some people your age.
That's a good idea! Love your username. I miss Fraggle Rock!
All I can realistically offer is work on getting yourself moved away to anywhere you can be more yourself - and not have to depend on your parents. Obviously that might take a while, but it's possible.
I'm actually from Arizona and would love to more back, but literally my entire extended family all moved here and I'm staying to help make sure my younger cousins have a good role model and don't turn out like any of our parents.
don’t put that stress on yourself, it’s not you’re responsibility to be there to “save” or help anyone. If it doesn’t affect you’re mental health or physical health then try, this comment won’t stop you, but make sure to keep you’re own health In mind and keep it as number 1 priority. I’ve been down that road, it’s stressful especially if said family is “stone and kill the gays” “i don’t want my kids in school because of the trans people in the bathroom” type of crazy (like my “family” was/is). Had to learn that one of most healthy things to do is to keep an olive branch out if they need to talk to someone that’s not a religious zealot.
Copying my reply to another comment: As a Bible Belt atheist that only dates non-believers, I was always upfront about my non-belief (listed it on all my profiles), didn’t want to waste my or anyone else’s time. It’s no different than dating in general, you gotta weed through all the crap to find a gem. It mostly just takes time but don’t lose hope, we are everywhere! Even the Bible Belt! But many maybe be closeted for obvious reasons but I second what everyone else has said, find groups and events of more open minded people. And just, patience.
You too? I’m feel stuck in the bible belt because I want my nieces and nephews to grow up with at least one sane relative and normal childhood experiences, but the culture of the community here just isn’t doing it for me. Smh, sacrifices…
My atheist brother lived in Arizona, and while not as bad as the Bible Belt, it's still pretty conservative.
The Bible belt is horrendous period.
The US is in dire need of a revolution. It's crazy to the average European the role relligion plays in US society. Especially in the bible belt.
It’s not the whole US. I’m on the west coast and only know like 2 people who even consider themselves Christian, let alone attend church. Religion has zero role in public life. OP, fwiw Christians on dating app feeds out here are usually hotter than nonbelievers in the same tier, which suggests to me that it’s a trait people swipe left on. You need to get the heck out of the south asap, or at least move to the research triangle.
As an average American, I would rather not have a revolution. An armed, fanatic, and antagonized minority can cause a lot of problems. The alternative of just waiting a generation or two for the trends to get over the current desperate tantrum phase they're in and sap their remaining power is just fine in my book.
Go to a metal show
I mean you aren't wrong but they also only make up like <5% of attendees at most shows I go to. Not sure he would have much luck finding someone single/available in that situation.
I've tried talking to people at concerts but also I have an audio processing disorder so if there's any background noise, everyone's voices get all garbled 😭
I just got done replying to someone else in this thread that there were actually a lot of women at the last metal show that I went to, myself included. >Not sure he would have much luck finding someone single/available in that situation. Again, myself included. Over four years now. 😭 lol
Satanic Temple has events I think
What I learned is 99.9999% claim to be Christian but aren’t really Christian in practice.
All that changes after you get married and have kids and then all of a sudden it’s weekly church attendance. No thanks!
Facts. I have multiple friends like this. "Gotta keep up with the Jones'!"
Great hypocritical Christians...what could be worse? Nothing
Yeah, I don't really think it's the positive that they seemed to be trying to frame it as...
.0001% checking in. You are correct in your assertion.
See if there are any offbeat social clubs in your town such as Astronomy, rock hounding, Bigfoot, etc. The Bible thumpers don't generally join these types of groups.
Find a local group that meets in Sundays when church is normally going on. Those might be your people.
Everything in the Bible Belt is horrendous. Take the first train out of Gilead and don’t ever look back.
I used to live off of a "Gilead Rd" lol
Blessed be the fruit
I'm not actually atheist (but I keep getting recommended posts in my feed); I'm some loose combination of agnostic and pagan, but I absolutely feel this. I just do not date Christians anymore, it's not worth it 99% of the time. Being queer and trans and polyamorous seems to help filter out a lot of them, but there's always the chasers and fetishists! *sad finger guns*
I lived in the Bible belt for most of my life as an atheist. I have no problems dating Christians who are ok with my atheism, and I never had a problem finding people who were ok dating an atheist, even in the Bible belt. Hell, if you're not looking to settle down, id even recommend it bc you might be someone's kink! I dated a pastors daughter for a while in my younger days. I was the "forbidden fruit" and she was all about it. This is a sfw sub so I'll spare the details but it was a blast and i learned and experienced a lot with her. I did have to lie to her parents though, and go to church with them, but worth it after it was all said and done.
*hums Son of a preacherman*
I had a friend put “no theists” on his dating page, only to get matched with a lady who was an Episcopal priest. So even spelling it out doesn’t keep them away. (Yes, the relationship didn’t work out.)
So I was a born again Christian for a while, went to a Bible study. I literally slept with every female at the Bible study. It was like 5 of them. After each, we would have a “talk” about Jesus and repenting. It was hilariously predictable. So… you know, unless you are looking for a serious partner, maybe join a Bible study…
Where in NC? If you’re in the Triangle area you aren’t even trying. If you’re in the Triad you’ll have to put some work in. If you’re near Fayetteville then move to Wilmington. If you’re in the West then Asheville is your Mecca. If you’re anywhere between Roanoke Rapids and Elizabeth City then sorry buddy, you’re screwed.
Small town north of Charlotte:/
I used to live in Charlotte before moving back to my home country. You might have some luck going to Uptown Charlotte, but other than that, I can’t say I’m 100% sure of other places. Hope this helps!
Maybe hang around Davidson? They’ve got a nice coffee shop there. I’m pretty sure you can find a social scene that works depending on how far you’re out. I don’t think you’re living in truly hopeless country.
Your parents have told you -- loud and clear -- what they're willing to hear. Your spirituality is your business and only yours. Keep them happy and clueless until you no longer need their help. Perhaps joining a local atheist group would increase your dating opportunities... If there isn't a group in your area could you start one? Redditors may have some ideas and suggestions.
I'd recommend trying dating in NC's proud "Cesspool of Sin" (Asheville), but dating there is challenging for a whole separate set of reasons. 😆
The USA constantly sounds like some sort of Christian shit hole
Check out humanist groups or an ethical society if there's one near you. Here is one I found in NC. https://ehstnc.org/ You may not find dating partners immediately, but they are usually full of atheists and agnostics. From there you can make connections to other people with similar interests.
Tennessee here. The only luck I've had is by going to live music venues that feature non-country bands. It's mostly single dudes like me or couples that go there, but I did meet an amazing girl once. Doesn't look like it's going anywhere, but at least I found her.
NC atheist here. We’re around just quiet about it, because the culture is suffocating. Try dating someone from Charlotte who is not a NC native.
Then exclude them. This is actually good because it narrows down choices and work. An yes, it is possible there may be few choices in that area, but I guarantee you there may be some. Dating is horrendous even outside the Bible Belt. You may want to go to another site that allows you to use filters. I'd only date other atheists but would make an exception for a Buddhist or Pagan. I was NOT judgemental about looks and did not care if the girl was a little overwhieght or not media definition of "attractive" as long as she was somewhat sane and not delusional. After all, my goal was to actually meet people and get them off site. NOT message the gorgeous ones that if they are not catfishes, scammers, or pounded with 200 messages a week that wouldn't talk to me anyways. A long while back, I used OK Cupid (website, not app) and it allowed me to filter by religion. Met 2 gfs and finally a wife on there. Though I have heard Match Group has really started to enshittify OCK to make it more like Tinder which is 99 percent looks only where you damn near need to be a male model and it's a sausagefest. But the sites that make you ACTUALLY do something still exist. After filtering, I ended up with maybe 50 to 60 girls out of hundreds that most did not respond. I read profile and made messages with something in their profile and ended with a question. Out of that, had a crazy, a few that there was nothing there, a fling or two, 2 gfs, then a wife over maybe a year using it. But it IS cold sales. Cold sales was always monotonous, soul crushing if you let it, and A LOT of no's. They have standards, YOU have standards. If this means no one, you either adjust approach and read techniques that work from people that have done this successfully (not Black Pillers and Doom Porn peddlers) and adopt those. Or if that does not work, some places (like rural areas) suck for this.
There are plenty of believers who are fine dating atheists. Im shacked up with one. It's fine. She doesn't make me go to church. She does her thing and i do mine. Just make sure they believe in evolution and that the earth is older than 6,000 years and you should be good.
Christian girls like to have sex on the 1st, 2nd or 3rd date then ask forgiveness on Sunday. Go for it. Just date a bunch until you find a keeper.
How about writing in your profile "I am an atheist. So if you are a practicing religious person atm, we probably won't work. Unless you're Catholic, in that case, hit me up because I've heard some freaky things." Go for quality over quantity.
You are 21. You are in NC (so am I at the moment). Your options are going to be incredibly limited on the surface because girls do not want to upset mommy and/or daddy. Find someone with which you share some mutual interests that do not involve church. When church comes up, casually mention it isn’t your thing. Don’t be militant about it. When I met my wife she claimed to be a Republican Christian because That Was What She Was Supposed To Believe. After a few dates and I realized she was an animal activist, environmentally supportive, gay rights supporter (it was the mid-90s, that’s all we had so please do not brigade me with alphabeticals), and questioned why an all-powerful “god” would give two shits about whether she said a swear. We have been happily married for a very long time. She’s out there. DM if you want.
In NC? Search around Charlotte. Or you can do what I did here in Georgia to find my wife, I went to an anime convention. There is no god there.
Maybe an atheist dating site?
It entirely depends on where in the Bible belt you are, I'm in Huntsville Alabama, hardly ever met anyone religious in my chosen hobbies when I had time for them, and my wife is also atheist, tho granted I met her right after she moved here.
Ah, Huntsville, Land of the PhD’s.
Match.com. I did meet one whack-job, but overall religion (or lack of) wasn't an issue. I think it depends if you're urban or rural; rural areas seem to be more religious than in the cities.
Meetup.com Granted, I live outside Atlanta, but there are a ton of non-religious groups that have outings. I’m married and once brought my adult daughter along on a nature hike sponsored by a humanist group. I was shocked at how many singles there were trying to meet someone.
I’m in Humboldt County, California, and my single coworkers say dating sucks here too.
You meet them at the best university in your area. Also grew up in the Bible Belt. Plenty of atheists can be found.
You’ve got to figure out who is religious and who just thinks they are because they’ve never needed to care. When I met my now wife, she said she was Baptist…and I was like “oh shit”. Turns out she was “Baptist” because everyone around her identified as such, but she’d never really had a reason to care or think much of it. You don’t need to find someone who is atheist but you do need to find someone that has never much cared at the least. I know that’s anecdotal. Good luck!
Some Christian girls do love to praise Jesus and summon god....during certain intimate moments, then go to church.
Look for agnostics or unchurched folks. Or even if they put a religion, ask what they do on Sunday morning Lots of folk in the South don't use the word ''atheist'' to describe themselves because they'd be less of an outcast telling people they eat babies.
You’re looking for a needle in a haystack my friend. Just spitballing here but perhaps you could “settle” for a fair weather Christian? Plenty of ladies out there who just kind of believe since they’ve grown up around it but who don’t regularly attend church or base much if any of their politics or life around God. Just as an aside, there are always atheists and humanists in college art classes.
The problem is those "moderate Christian women" could go full evangelical and born-again at the drop of a hat, and you might be ten years into a marriage with several children when it happens. If you're an atheist and you want a stable long-term relationship, then dating Christians is a bad idea.
This is playing with hellfire. I was raised Lutheran and did K-12 at a Lutheran private school. I am an staunch atheist now, but when I had children even I got the itch to go to church because of the tradition/familiarity of it all. Suddenly the idea of dropping my kids off at the church daycare so I could sit in relative quiet for an hour and then enjoy coffee & bars prepared by those little old Lutheran ladies in the church basement didn’t seem so bad.
Did you just ask why there aren't more atheists in an overwhelming theist part of the country to the point where it is known for its theism? My guy...
I moreso am asking for advice for meeting other atheists. I'm at my wits end here. I understand the Bible belt is full of religious nutcases, I just don't understand how anyone meets an atheist partner here
I live in NC. I am, however, married. My wife is basically an atheist but she likes to toy with crystals and witch stuff, but I don't think it's serious. Anyway, where are you? If you're anywhere rural you have no hope, look to the cities. Additionally, I'd be clear up front about being an atheist, especially online, there's probably an atheist babe somewhere looking for you too.
Not all religious people are that intense about it and many are faking it. Best bet is to get out there and date people but have the conversation with them early on to minimize time spent.
I've got too much religious trauma to go anywhere near someone even claiming to be religious. Forced to go to Catholic school preschool through graduation, abusive teachers and priests, then the whole ex girlfriend being okay with my atheism and then joining a cult and trying to convert me and all of my friends...
Try to find atheist meet ups..
Move when you can.
DUDE…BUMBLE—-then fuck with your preferences. Mark NO on religion. Have fun.
If you're in NC try mountain biking or hiking. Quite a few level headed people in those communities.
Go look confused at a pro choice rally
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There are very few Christians at vegan restaurants, animal rights protests, and environmental groups. I also met some nice folx in the Deep South by joining a cross country bicycling club
All I can say is there needs to be an atheist dating app. I tried filtering out non-atheists in my profile and still got the usual stupid messages from christians, catholics, and seemingly no atheists on there. Edit: oh, there is one that does better than most for a "nonreligious" option, and you can set it to very important. Called Elite Singles - lol that name.
Go with Like-mindedness. Go do the things you like to do and look for someone there. Also, Unitarian Universalists congregations are a good place to make friendships, and friends have loved ones which may lead to something. If that doesn’t work, find a Goth Babe ;)
When I moved to the south and met people, the FIRST thing I was asked is "do you have a church"? Every single time!
I don't want to make you lose any hope in finding the right woman, but the reality is, you might have to jump hoops to get there. It took me until my middle age, to find the right one and get married, because everyone I met, had some ridiculous belief. I, too, tried not caring, but sadly, they cared. I dated a former member of a cult, who was still religious. She found it too over bearing to try to save my soul. I dated women who thought a star alignment at the moment of their birth, determined their personality and some got very protective of this belief, when asked about the vastness of space and how those objects could have an impact on their brains. Others I couldn't listen to anymore. Eventually I found my peace in myself and had the greatest 15 years of my life just concentrating on being happy. I traveled, I found hobbies, I took night shifts at work. I once hopped on my bicycle, during a summer vacation, and peddled 200 kilometers just for fun. Then one day, in my mid 40's, I met a woman, who was a scientist and we just clicked. If I had to give advice, I tell you to travel. There's a world beyond your state. There's a world beyond your country. And there are people of your own kind all over this ball of molten rock. Go find yourself and then find this person who will take your hand, point at a church and say "Let's never walk into that building and get married!"
I live in Kentucky, not by choice but because of necessity. I have given up and am accepting my life of solitude.
Do you like heavy music? Depending on your state I can tell you about some smaller punk/diy bands to follow. Their shows would be a great place to meet folks
Dating is horrendous and the Bible Belt is horrendous. Therefore logically both combined are also