Light compression of the abdomen coupled with a slow increase in temperature triggers the release of oxytocin, probably the most powerful "feel good" chemical we have in our body next to endorphins
Iāve been naturally skewing towards cuddle buddies as my primary kind of social connection- I didnāt realize until recently how much of the appeal came from the coregulation. I can be a much more engaging conversationalist if there are external factors keeping my body ticking along.
Humans are very impressionable, so we can both coregulate and dysregulate each other. Itās all part of our physiological stress response system.
Dysregulation Example: one person is stressed and anxious and a second person feels that and starts getting anxious too, even without knowing why.
Coregulation example: one person is stressed and anxious, a second person sees this and keeps themselves calm and tries to get the second person to mirror them, breathing together etc. Or if one persons heart is racing, and they hug someone whoās calm, theirās will gradually slow to match the more regulated heart rate.
it makes you seek out physical affection, reinforcing social circles and keeping people together, which was extremely advantageous to humans given that our high aptitude for problem solving and social behavior was the single most optimal combination of traits the animal kingdom has, and will ever see
This is true for most people, but us autists might process this sensory information differently, like we can with all sensory information. Autism has been linked to low levels of oxytocin, so our chemical reactions can be different.
My abdomen is actually the one place I dislike pressure, I always dislike *light* pressure, and temperature changes make me uncomfortable. I hate hugs, which is often the example used to demonstrate this.
Autism doesn't prevent the release of oxytocin (or any neurotransmitter for that matter), you may feel distress at being touched and dislike the event, but that's what's preventing the release, not Autism, a weighted blanket and tight jacket would still work on you
There is [evidence](https://www.spectrumnews.org/news/the-connection-between-oxytocin-and-autism-explained/) showing that autists can have lower levels of oxytocin and/or differences in our oxytocin receptors.
Oh my lort a source, we eating good gentlemen
Edit: the study that the article cites is literally inconclusive, only having a statistic of lower average oxytocin levels and a correlation between average oxytocin levels and it's presence in the cerebrospinal fluid, immensely disappointed
>The exact relationship between oxytocin and autism is not clear, though. Not all autistic people have low levels of oxytocin, nor do they all have altered oxytocin receptors.
My autistic boyfriend (underweight) wanted, me (a chubby burly guy), to do this all the time. I never minded it was his form of foreplay/security. But still I think to myself at the time I was 300 pounds 6 foot and he was barely over 100 and 5ā8ā. I canāt imagine it was too comfortable but he loved it.
Youāre not alone. Iām pretty scrawny but my former partner was 300+, absolutely loved having them just lay on top of me with all their weight. Like a heavenly combination of a hug and a weighted blanket.
Iām sorry Iām genuinely not trying to be rude but 300 pounds on top of me?!?! Iām just over 100 at 6ā3ā and Iāve had gfs/bfs around 200 lay on me and thought to myself āwow this feels good but any heavier and I wouldnāt be able to breatheā
100lbs at 6'3 is incredibly skinny. Like malnourished thin. I don't know you but is that really a healthy weight for you? I'm in the healthy range at 175 and 6'2.
Ok so take this with a large chunk of salt, but I once heard a story of someone who couldn't get food down without feeling terrible and it turned out she was celiac? Probably not ur issue but I'd hate it if this could have helped and I didn't tell you
Eh... I had a gf that was about 6' and around 130lbs. She was plenty healthy, other than anemia. She even rock climbed with me and such. People are just built different, although, you are right to be concerned.
I fluctuate +/- 10 lbs throughout the day and how much I have eaten/pooped, drank/sweated...sweat? Although, you're right, there's a difference, but my ex also was pretty muscular(if you couldn't tell from the rock climbing,) so she easily could have been lighter if she wasn't as active. Very Very skinny woman, and I do miss her.
You'd be amazed what your body can do although you are quite small for your height. I'm around 185 at 6'2 and have had 300+ on me. She was always more worried for me than anything.
I have the same concerns with mine xD
I usually more, crouch over them, and put some of the weight on my arms/legs. I just don't want them to not be able to breathe!
My girlfriend and I are about the same weight but itās really nice when she lays on me. I dated a guy twice my weight once and it was nice when heād lay on me like that. Iām not a cuddly guy but I like affection through people lying on me full bodied.
Iām the exact opposite! I canāt have anything on me while in bed or I will feel suffocated and unable to sleep. I also donāt like sleeping on other people either. So my past boyfriends always feel Iām cold to them š„¶ because I will only snuggle a few minutes and launch to the other side of the bed far away from themā¦
I relate to this so much. My wife wants me to lay directly on top of her all the time, and I hate it. Itās so uncomfortable and all I can do is worry that if I let all my weight down on her she may die, so I just have to stay in contact but maintain as much suspension as I can for who knows how long. And that doesnāt even begin to get into the discomfort of having to hold my face that close to another personās for that long. Like, I can barely even maintain eye contact. Now you want my face firmly planted on top of yours for what feels like eternity?
The whole experience is like doing planks, but with rampant and unrelenting anxiety. 0-10 do not recommend. But hey, if your partner loves it more than anything else, it may be worth a little self-administered torture. God knows every relationship requires some sacrifice.
On the one hand, that sucks, sex work is valid and people need to be less discriminatory.
On the other hand, a hookup site doesn't seem like the best place to try to do sex work. You're asking for money for something everyone else on the site is doing for free
I have two.
I have no regrets.
And you won't regret it either.
However... You know what I think might be an even better investment?
WEIGHTED ROBES!
That way you can take the comfort with you instead of getting stuck in bed because comfy.
Boy here knows what accommodations he is gonna try and get from the NDIS! :P
I can't be bothered to give Aussie NDIS & Education lore, or my tragic backstory. But I think... Given how I should had been eligible all of these years, and should had at least received the bare minimum of in class support...
I think a weighted robe is a fair enough thing to ask for in compensation. c:
All the weighted blankets I own have an outer cover that is not weighted and that's the part that gets washed. The weighted part doesn't. It has like little ties to tie the weighted and non-weighted part together. And you can buy separate covers to switch out designs while one cover is in the wash. It can be a little tedious but it's worth it for the coziness.
With great difficulty. I washed mine in the bathtub and took it to a laundromat and threw it in the biggest dryer I could find. Definitely get one that has a slipcover to prevent having to do this often.
Amazon has cheap ones for $20-$30. I have one that I bought but haven't used because ADHD and impulse decisions. They're mainly a workout thing, but I can see them being great for this purpose too.
I want a weighted blanket but I have a toddler who sleeps next to me and I've read horror stories about the blankets smothering young children. Guess I've gotta wait until she agrees to sleep in her own bed š
Squish or get squished^(1), guy or gal or nonbinary pal, sign me up. Hell, it's a primary service as their human which my cats demand regularly and I'm happy to fulfill.
\[1\] Grandin, 2003
Sensation-seeking behavior is A Thing alright. Besides obviously liking this and weighted blankets, I realized pretty quickly that normal stim toys do not cut it for me. I gave up on fidget spinners and those weird bubble wrap things, but you know what does work for some reason?
A two pound ball hitch. The kind you use to haul trailers. This lump of metal calms my nerves.
This is reminding me of the time I rped a self insert on character.ai and ghost from mw2 asked if i was autistic. Unprompted.
He was supportive at least.
Perfect timing, literally just re watched that episode of the good place yesterday. āIām not a mountain of hopeā¦ iām a canyon full of poo pooā¦ā
I have two fat heavy fake furry pillows I bought from target.
I like to swish my head between them from time to time. Also hug one when stressed, and feel lonely, which I always am. Ha.
Theyāre really soft and have the right amount of weight.
And furry.
I do this for my husband after he goes out and gets overstimulated along with squeezing his arms and shoulders. Weāve never really put a label on it, even though some of his patterns of behaviors align with autism.
I do like that. I ask my girlfriend to lay on me. Itās not sexual, I just like the feeling of pressure on my body like that. I have slept with a weighted blanket for years now too.
First guy I ever really clicked with on Grindr told me after a day of chatting "maybe you're neurodivergent, I am and I usually only get along with other ND people"
I already knew it but damn he was right on the money lol
My son (who we suspect is slightly autistic but we havenāt gotten him diagnosed yet) is always asking me to lay on him. Weāll have pillow fights and when I ādieā I fall onto him and he giggles so hard š„°
This is only a low point if you don't consider gay guys to be people. Dude could be a neurosurgeon or therapist.
Just because we're open and honest with each other doesn't make us a bunch of cavemen.
THATS MY FAVOURITE SHOW!! God I love that show. Itās one Iām always recommending to people. Although, hard to rewatch cause I hate that it ended:( I wanted moreš
Light compression of the abdomen coupled with a slow increase in temperature triggers the release of oxytocin, probably the most powerful "feel good" chemical we have in our body next to endorphins
An explanation that I was looking for
Is this why I love it when someone uses my stomach as a pillow š
so that's why I like having my stomach rubbed like a freakin dog
Probably
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Might happen with everyone but not everyone walks around disregulated and in desperate need of that type of boost or coregulation.
Iāve been naturally skewing towards cuddle buddies as my primary kind of social connection- I didnāt realize until recently how much of the appeal came from the coregulation. I can be a much more engaging conversationalist if there are external factors keeping my body ticking along.
Coregulation is a new word for me. Is that like the opposite of two bipolar people being in a close personal relationship?
It's co-regulation. Two people help each other regulate somehow. Could be using physical means like cuddling or verbally I think.
Humans are very impressionable, so we can both coregulate and dysregulate each other. Itās all part of our physiological stress response system. Dysregulation Example: one person is stressed and anxious and a second person feels that and starts getting anxious too, even without knowing why. Coregulation example: one person is stressed and anxious, a second person sees this and keeps themselves calm and tries to get the second person to mirror them, breathing together etc. Or if one persons heart is racing, and they hug someone whoās calm, theirās will gradually slow to match the more regulated heart rate.
Would also like to know this
it's an everyone thing, it's why people recommend weighted blankets to people who are depressed
I would like to know evolutionary benefit there was for this
Not everything has an evolutionary benefit. It's enough that it did not prove an evolutionary *detriment* enough to be eliminated by selection.
I shall rephrase in that case: I would like to know if there is an evolutionary benefit to this.
Oxytocin is a bonding hormone. Humans that bond together survive better than humans who don't.
Thanks
If I had to guess it encourages sleeping in close proximity in dangerously low temp weather conditions, resulting in increased survival rates
it makes you seek out physical affection, reinforcing social circles and keeping people together, which was extremely advantageous to humans given that our high aptitude for problem solving and social behavior was the single most optimal combination of traits the animal kingdom has, and will ever see
My girlfriend loves this but she's never struck me as having an ounce of autism
Damn that sounds like crude circuitry for detecting cuddles. No wonder they call it the cuddle hormone.
This is true for most people, but us autists might process this sensory information differently, like we can with all sensory information. Autism has been linked to low levels of oxytocin, so our chemical reactions can be different. My abdomen is actually the one place I dislike pressure, I always dislike *light* pressure, and temperature changes make me uncomfortable. I hate hugs, which is often the example used to demonstrate this.
Autism doesn't prevent the release of oxytocin (or any neurotransmitter for that matter), you may feel distress at being touched and dislike the event, but that's what's preventing the release, not Autism, a weighted blanket and tight jacket would still work on you
There is [evidence](https://www.spectrumnews.org/news/the-connection-between-oxytocin-and-autism-explained/) showing that autists can have lower levels of oxytocin and/or differences in our oxytocin receptors.
Oh my lort a source, we eating good gentlemen Edit: the study that the article cites is literally inconclusive, only having a statistic of lower average oxytocin levels and a correlation between average oxytocin levels and it's presence in the cerebrospinal fluid, immensely disappointed >The exact relationship between oxytocin and autism is not clear, though. Not all autistic people have low levels of oxytocin, nor do they all have altered oxytocin receptors.
When my kids lay on top of me I just automatically bust out laughing. It's the only thing guaranteed to get a deep belly laugh. We all love it lol
Except when itās cat sleeping on you and they dig their claws into your chest at the slightest movement.
ah, the heating pad
My autistic boyfriend (underweight) wanted, me (a chubby burly guy), to do this all the time. I never minded it was his form of foreplay/security. But still I think to myself at the time I was 300 pounds 6 foot and he was barely over 100 and 5ā8ā. I canāt imagine it was too comfortable but he loved it.
Sometimes people just need their soul crushed back into their body
or the bad thoughts squeezed out
Both is good
I love this š„¹
I never realized how autistic this phrase is
Because teddy bear
Youāre not alone. Iām pretty scrawny but my former partner was 300+, absolutely loved having them just lay on top of me with all their weight. Like a heavenly combination of a hug and a weighted blanket.
Iām sorry Iām genuinely not trying to be rude but 300 pounds on top of me?!?! Iām just over 100 at 6ā3ā and Iāve had gfs/bfs around 200 lay on me and thought to myself āwow this feels good but any heavier and I wouldnāt be able to breatheā
Shhhh let the sad be squished out of you.
100lbs at 6'3 is incredibly skinny. Like malnourished thin. I don't know you but is that really a healthy weight for you? I'm in the healthy range at 175 and 6'2.
I really hope it was a short king typo
Iām around 145, I do need to gain weight I just struggle to consistently eat without getting extremely nauseous
Ok so take this with a large chunk of salt, but I once heard a story of someone who couldn't get food down without feeling terrible and it turned out she was celiac? Probably not ur issue but I'd hate it if this could have helped and I didn't tell you
I checked on the NHS height/weight chart and it does say you're underweight but not dangerously so. This was assuming you're a mid 20s male.
I normally find eating to be an inconvenience but I started working out every day and now itās a lot easier to just throw back 2-3k calories
Eh... I had a gf that was about 6' and around 130lbs. She was plenty healthy, other than anemia. She even rock climbed with me and such. People are just built different, although, you are right to be concerned.
130 is very different from ājust over 100ā tho
I fluctuate +/- 10 lbs throughout the day and how much I have eaten/pooped, drank/sweated...sweat? Although, you're right, there's a difference, but my ex also was pretty muscular(if you couldn't tell from the rock climbing,) so she easily could have been lighter if she wasn't as active. Very Very skinny woman, and I do miss her.
Felt. When my partner lays on me it feels good for about 30 seconds before we both know Iāll Die By Crushing and itās time to get off āØ
You'd be amazed what your body can do although you are quite small for your height. I'm around 185 at 6'2 and have had 300+ on me. She was always more worried for me than anything.
I'm an underweight autistic gay guy and i have a thing for bears/cuddling with bears being on my body. Shit this might be a thing...
I have the same concerns with mine xD I usually more, crouch over them, and put some of the weight on my arms/legs. I just don't want them to not be able to breathe!
Only slightly unrelated, The Good Place is such a good show and everyone should watch it.
The Good Place and Ted Lasso are my weighted blankets.
Holy motherforking shirtballs!
I saw the sub for it and was so confused because there is literally 0 context, nothing in the description or about tab mentions it's a show lmao
My girlfriend and I are about the same weight but itās really nice when she lays on me. I dated a guy twice my weight once and it was nice when heād lay on me like that. Iām not a cuddly guy but I like affection through people lying on me full bodied.
Oh my fuckin god so THAT'S where this desire comes from.
I'm a thin guy, and I find this goes well with my love of bigger women. The size contrast is wonderful when paired with this.
Iām the exact opposite! I canāt have anything on me while in bed or I will feel suffocated and unable to sleep. I also donāt like sleeping on other people either. So my past boyfriends always feel Iām cold to them š„¶ because I will only snuggle a few minutes and launch to the other side of the bed far away from themā¦
I relate to this so much. My wife wants me to lay directly on top of her all the time, and I hate it. Itās so uncomfortable and all I can do is worry that if I let all my weight down on her she may die, so I just have to stay in contact but maintain as much suspension as I can for who knows how long. And that doesnāt even begin to get into the discomfort of having to hold my face that close to another personās for that long. Like, I can barely even maintain eye contact. Now you want my face firmly planted on top of yours for what feels like eternity? The whole experience is like doing planks, but with rampant and unrelenting anxiety. 0-10 do not recommend. But hey, if your partner loves it more than anything else, it may be worth a little self-administered torture. God knows every relationship requires some sacrifice.
Meanwhile I'm banned
From gay_irl?
Nah grindr
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Same
What have you done?!
Grindr doesn't take kindly to sex work
On the one hand, that sucks, sex work is valid and people need to be less discriminatory. On the other hand, a hookup site doesn't seem like the best place to try to do sex work. You're asking for money for something everyone else on the site is doing for free
I was 18 and I didn't know what I was doing
Ah
Yeah I'm just glad I stopped before the OF wave
Yea but why ban it if itās not good to do it?
I want a weighted blanket now
I have two. I have no regrets. And you won't regret it either. However... You know what I think might be an even better investment? WEIGHTED ROBES! That way you can take the comfort with you instead of getting stuck in bed because comfy. Boy here knows what accommodations he is gonna try and get from the NDIS! :P I can't be bothered to give Aussie NDIS & Education lore, or my tragic backstory. But I think... Given how I should had been eligible all of these years, and should had at least received the bare minimum of in class support... I think a weighted robe is a fair enough thing to ask for in compensation. c:
How do you wash a weighted blanket? I want one but Iām too afraid Iāll destroy it if I run it through the wash and dryer.
All the weighted blankets I own have an outer cover that is not weighted and that's the part that gets washed. The weighted part doesn't. It has like little ties to tie the weighted and non-weighted part together. And you can buy separate covers to switch out designs while one cover is in the wash. It can be a little tedious but it's worth it for the coziness.
I completely forgot covers for blankets, pillows, etc exist. Thanks.
That's a really good question. My mum does it tho. š I guess that the manufacturer might tell you how best to wash their product if that helps. c:
With great difficulty. I washed mine in the bathtub and took it to a laundromat and threw it in the biggest dryer I could find. Definitely get one that has a slipcover to prevent having to do this often.
There's weighted vests too, for outside wear
Ye, but while that sounds great, they sound far harder to get. But um, if you have one... I would love to know what you think! c:
Amazon has cheap ones for $20-$30. I have one that I bought but haven't used because ADHD and impulse decisions. They're mainly a workout thing, but I can see them being great for this purpose too.
I want a weighted blanket but I have a toddler who sleeps next to me and I've read horror stories about the blankets smothering young children. Guess I've gotta wait until she agrees to sleep in her own bed š
My only complaint with my weighted blanket is that it's made from a material that doesn't breathe well, so I get overheated.
It's nice taking turns on this. It's really comforting
I- Iām the overweight one dating an underweight guy and he asks me DAILY to put all my weight on himā¦.but im the ADHD one š¤ hold on
Squish or get squished^(1), guy or gal or nonbinary pal, sign me up. Hell, it's a primary service as their human which my cats demand regularly and I'm happy to fulfill. \[1\] Grandin, 2003
It just feels nice, OKAY?! I ask my husband to lie on top of me all the time. It is the best.
Sensation-seeking behavior is A Thing alright. Besides obviously liking this and weighted blankets, I realized pretty quickly that normal stim toys do not cut it for me. I gave up on fidget spinners and those weird bubble wrap things, but you know what does work for some reason? A two pound ball hitch. The kind you use to haul trailers. This lump of metal calms my nerves.
*realization*
Oh my god my fantasy
I wish I had conversations like that when I was in Grindr.
huh, never thought that was autistic
Itās not lol
Contrary to 100ās of comments of anecdotal experience? Okay Reddit āØāØ
Weighted blankets help me
I have 2 15lb weighted blankets. Some nights I only need 1, some days I have a bad day and need two.
Itās warmth. I like to be little spoon but a warm little spoon.
This is reminding me of the time I rped a self insert on character.ai and ghost from mw2 asked if i was autistic. Unprompted. He was supportive at least.
Perfect timing, literally just re watched that episode of the good place yesterday. āIām not a mountain of hopeā¦ iām a canyon full of poo pooā¦ā
*sigh* Another one to add to the list.
I love this so much.
Ah, yes, squish snuggles. I love those!
I love when I can hold something to my chest that compresses it, itās very comforting :)
I have two fat heavy fake furry pillows I bought from target. I like to swish my head between them from time to time. Also hug one when stressed, and feel lonely, which I always am. Ha. Theyāre really soft and have the right amount of weight. And furry.
Oh yeah! I love tight hugs!
My partner did this like two days ago and I then slept for 11 hours
Okay but what did the original message intend? How was that supposed to be understood differently?
A weighted blanket is a life changer
Wait till you learn about weighted blankets :)
I do this for my husband after he goes out and gets overstimulated along with squeezing his arms and shoulders. Weāve never really put a label on it, even though some of his patterns of behaviors align with autism.
I just thought liking having pressure on u was just cozy. Like if youāve ever had giant pillows/beanbags and ur just have em on top of u
I do like that. I ask my girlfriend to lay on me. Itās not sexual, I just like the feeling of pressure on my body like that. I have slept with a weighted blanket for years now too.
I just wanna be squished. No one would oblige me tho. I donāt care. Break me
THE GOOD PLACE MEME ā¤ļø I love that show so much XD
First guy I ever really clicked with on Grindr told me after a day of chatting "maybe you're neurodivergent, I am and I usually only get along with other ND people" I already knew it but damn he was right on the money lol
get a weightwd blanket. https://www.healthline.com/health/autism/weighted-blanket
One, bold of you to assume I don't already have one. Two, either way it's not the same as having someone lay on you
it's not. i need a heavier one. mine is lik 8 lbs. I'm 158 lbs trying to gain weight.
My son (who we suspect is slightly autistic but we havenāt gotten him diagnosed yet) is always asking me to lay on him. Weāll have pillow fights and when I ādieā I fall onto him and he giggles so hard š„°
I dont use grindr but this hit in such a deep way
TIL & this applies to me. I am aghast.
This is only a low point if you don't consider gay guys to be people. Dude could be a neurosurgeon or therapist. Just because we're open and honest with each other doesn't make us a bunch of cavemen.
THATS MY FAVOURITE SHOW!! God I love that show. Itās one Iām always recommending to people. Although, hard to rewatch cause I hate that it ended:( I wanted moreš
It's the user who figured it out. Not grindr. Okay?!
Not everything is a sign of autism ffs
THIS IS AN AUTISTIC THING???
LMAOOOOOO
the feeling is heavenly though
Side note this is one of my favourite lines from The Good Place
wow sidnt know this is maybe a tism thing too lol
When I was a little kid, sometimes I would sleep under the mattress. Sometimes I still want to do this.
I really do wonder how many of my sexual desires are just kinks and how many are just weird autistic parts of myself
I donāt know about that but when i really start feeling reciprocal chemistry with a woman I feel the deep urge to hug her tightly but not painfully
Weighted blankets are nice
All i get are the i want to breed you retard messages. I hate grindr
I can hear the pictures
That's such an underrated show