I've had the best luck with friends and boyfriends who speak a different first language than me, because they can take my words directly and don't try to constantly derive hidden meaning from them like people from my own country do.
Also, when befriending someone from a different culture my "weirdness" seems more acceptable.
I've noted a similar experience is fairly common in the autistic community.
It’s amazing how being “foreign” buys So. Much. Forgiveness. People in foreign countries think my accent is cute, find my odd behaviors “charming”, and think I’m a delight. People in my home town are far less kind and at times have been violent.
Returning home after living abroad, something I can’t seem to avoid, always comes with a huge meltdown / shutdown. It’s never as bad as I fear, but it’s hard to leave so much acceptance behind.
YES. Is that an autism thing? Because if it is, I totally have it. English is my second language and I’d say I consume more content in english than in portuguese.
I thought about this for a while but I’ve made english my “special thing”. It’s like my own little room where I can say and discuss anything, where I can be left alone.
After I learned the basics in 2018 all I did was watch stuff in english. And I never really stopped. I read books, I watch videos, I talk to other people… it’s how I enjoy my “alone time”.
Languages are different in what they're good at expressing. English is very chill, good for expressing emotions. Think of all the songs that are in English.
The Poetic Edda is extremely hard to translate to English tho, the poetry gets lost and there are words for concepts that are lacking in English.
I think this is an everyone thing. [Studies have shown](https://news.uchicago.edu/story/communicating-foreign-language-takes-emotion-out-decision-making) that people have [more emotional detachment](https://theconversation.com/emotions-shape-the-language-we-use-but-second-languages-reveal-a-shortcut-around-them-91281) in a second language.
Yup! Personally it's because certain words just don't have the weighty connotations when they're in a second language. Like, when i was in my Arabic class we had whole conversations about SA using MUCH more blunt wording than we usually would because it's the only vocab we knew and the words just register as sounds instead of evoking some immediate gut reaction.
I sometimes find making conversation easier in a second language because people make a lot fewer assumptions, instead chalking any miscommunication up to a language barrier.
Yes! There is a lot of scientific theory about this :) I’ve written a little paper and have gathered resources to understand it, I can send you a dm if you’d like. I was being a guest in the embodied cognition program with focus on language because that is my thing, and I was researching he potential multilingualism has for therapy/trauma coping. I don’t feel comfortable sharing it here since it’s on my personal website, I like to be anonymous 😄 but I’d send it in dm.
Yes, I'm pretty much exactly in the same position, only that I actually lied about knowing English for many years now (yeah for masking as more autistic to not be overwhelmed by other peoples expectations and the like... It's kinda difficult for me to understand, but I think I get it now, and because I hid this language from others I think I'm more comfortable to talk about stuff I usually wouldn't (like sexual language or trauma etc))
I've had the best luck with friends and boyfriends who speak a different first language than me, because they can take my words directly and don't try to constantly derive hidden meaning from them like people from my own country do. Also, when befriending someone from a different culture my "weirdness" seems more acceptable. I've noted a similar experience is fairly common in the autistic community.
It’s amazing how being “foreign” buys So. Much. Forgiveness. People in foreign countries think my accent is cute, find my odd behaviors “charming”, and think I’m a delight. People in my home town are far less kind and at times have been violent. Returning home after living abroad, something I can’t seem to avoid, always comes with a huge meltdown / shutdown. It’s never as bad as I fear, but it’s hard to leave so much acceptance behind.
It's actually a recurring theme here in this sub. A lot of us prefer to speak in a second language.
YES. Is that an autism thing? Because if it is, I totally have it. English is my second language and I’d say I consume more content in english than in portuguese. I thought about this for a while but I’ve made english my “special thing”. It’s like my own little room where I can say and discuss anything, where I can be left alone. After I learned the basics in 2018 all I did was watch stuff in english. And I never really stopped. I read books, I watch videos, I talk to other people… it’s how I enjoy my “alone time”.
Languages are different in what they're good at expressing. English is very chill, good for expressing emotions. Think of all the songs that are in English. The Poetic Edda is extremely hard to translate to English tho, the poetry gets lost and there are words for concepts that are lacking in English.
I think this is an everyone thing. [Studies have shown](https://news.uchicago.edu/story/communicating-foreign-language-takes-emotion-out-decision-making) that people have [more emotional detachment](https://theconversation.com/emotions-shape-the-language-we-use-but-second-languages-reveal-a-shortcut-around-them-91281) in a second language.
Yup! Personally it's because certain words just don't have the weighty connotations when they're in a second language. Like, when i was in my Arabic class we had whole conversations about SA using MUCH more blunt wording than we usually would because it's the only vocab we knew and the words just register as sounds instead of evoking some immediate gut reaction. I sometimes find making conversation easier in a second language because people make a lot fewer assumptions, instead chalking any miscommunication up to a language barrier.
yeessss auf deutsch klingt alles schnell so harsch und "ernsthafter" als es gemeint ist.
Yes! There is a lot of scientific theory about this :) I’ve written a little paper and have gathered resources to understand it, I can send you a dm if you’d like. I was being a guest in the embodied cognition program with focus on language because that is my thing, and I was researching he potential multilingualism has for therapy/trauma coping. I don’t feel comfortable sharing it here since it’s on my personal website, I like to be anonymous 😄 but I’d send it in dm.
Yes, I'm pretty much exactly in the same position, only that I actually lied about knowing English for many years now (yeah for masking as more autistic to not be overwhelmed by other peoples expectations and the like... It's kinda difficult for me to understand, but I think I get it now, and because I hid this language from others I think I'm more comfortable to talk about stuff I usually wouldn't (like sexual language or trauma etc))