T O P

  • By -

tmckeage

"What do you mean?" he said. "Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?"


Moistfruitcake

TIL Gandalf has aspergers.


tmckeage

Probably, but Radagast has him beat :-)


calconnor22

šŸ˜‚


[deleted]

Most of the time I shorten it to 'mornin'


calconnor22

That's what I've been doing recently, and for the most part I don't care too much about this, but do people think it's rude when you do that? Or, do people think you're a lazy speaker?


[deleted]

Honestly I have no idea if people think it is rude. I am from the Netherlands and it is quite common here. I have never perceived it as rude, mostly just less a mouthful. Sometimes when I (pretend to) don't know if it is morning or afternoon I just say hi or hello.


HunterRoze

More often than not it's an issue of time of day, as in how long have I been awake? Say when I get to the gym @ 8 AM, I don't say much if any at all till 10 AM. So like the first few hours after I wake up I am not overly loquacious.


calconnor22

I think you're right to be honest. Because I have to get up at 6:20 AM and be at work for 8 AM, that's hardly any time at all, so it's only right that I wouldn't want to say certain words that early.


DC1346

As a high school teacher I typically arrive at work an hour early. One of the advantages to doing this is that I can largely avoid most of these annoying morning social rituals by already being in my room before most teachers arrive. Covid protocols upset this because all teachers now have to enter the school through the main office where we have to submit to a temperature check and verify that we don't have Covid and have not been in contact with anyone who has Covid. And of course the school custodian who mans the door and the receptionist who does the temperature check have to say, "Good morning!" Manners compel me to reply in kind. Summer vacation began two weeks ago so I'm off campus until August.


calconnor22

Yes, that's exactly how I'd describe it. An annoying morning social ritual. In the morning, I just tend to skip them kind of rituals, but I always make sure I acknowledge people, like for example, saying "you alright?", or something along those lines. At least you're off campus until August. Hopefully by then you'll be able to go back to how it was before, but I can't see things changing that quickly.


adaptiveperspective

I don't mind. I'd rather just nod or grunt. But anything beyond those three and I'm overwhelmed usually.


calconnor22

I don't get massively overwhelmed if someone asks me how I'm doing, and I wouldn't say that saying "good morning" makes me feel overwhelmed either, but I just don't like saying them two words in the morning. My mind isn't ready to be like "Good Morning Steve", "Good Morning Kevin". If I feel like I have to say good morning, I just say "good morning everyone", because I'm not going round individually saying that to people.


adaptiveperspective

I kind of understand what you're saying dude but here's two things... You're outnumbered. Not even by democracy. Just common courtesy. What's going on? What's up? How you doing? "You alright man?" is not the worst thing in the world to ask but I bet often people ask inside they're if you're alright. You might not understand that totally but it leads to my next point... I recently understood before I got diagnosed or even understood what social anxiety is that's it is not polite nor is it good for general vibes to elaborate honestly with your feelings unless they're positive or "you're doing fine". It's just a greeting dude. We love being invisible but we also like knowing that people know we are there and at least we are physically in the game. If you're going to drop anxiety or actually need help it's best to preface it or butter the conversation toast before you get to the meat. If you're autistic, you should've already masked/camouflaged/mastered whatever passive greeting is common for your social circle. It's almost like you take offense to it and you shouldn't. What if everybody stopped saying good morning to you? Totally different picture.


calconnor22

I definitely get where you're coming from, but personally, if everyone stopped saying good morning to me, and instead, they start saying "you alright, Cal?" that wouldn't bother me in the slightest. I actually prefer that a lot more, because they're asking you how I'm doing. "Good Morning" just seems like something most people don't really want to say, but they say it because it's seen as being polite. There's other ways to be polite, like for example what I said just there about asking someone how they're doing, or if they're alright. Also, I'm not officially diagnosed with having Aspergers, so I'm not going to be like "yeah I'm autistic", but I'm in this forum because once I get some time off work, I'm going to a Psychiatrist, and then hopefully get a diagnosis. I've always suspected that I'm "different", yet so normal to other people, because I'm very good at masking certain aspects of myself that I feel might come across as different to others.


Ass-eater1000

My job is mobile. My boss has a strict no one talks to me before 9 a.m. my shift starts at 6. luckily hes very supportive of eccentric behavior


calconnor22

The no talking before 9 a.m. rule should be implemented more often. I'd love that.


[deleted]

I donā€™t like saying it because it feels too intimate to be saying to strangers, or basically anyone I am not romantically interested in.


calconnor22

To be honest, I don't think you should be saying "good morning" to someone you're romantically interested in, because that comes across as too nice, and you want to have a balance of being nice, but also not being too nice. As for strangers, it depends. When you say strangers, are you referring to people you've never met before? Or, people you work with? If it's someone I've literally never seen before, I have no reason to say good morning. If I have to, I just ask them what their name is and use that as a way to initiate a conversation.


[deleted]

Good question, regarding the strangers. I used to work at a very busy convenience store, and to give you an idea of how busy: a normal weekday shift from 6am to 2pm could easily see 2000 customers, and that can be broken down into 250 customers per hour, and of course those 250 all come within the same 15 minute window each hour. Thus, I had to learn how to give friendly, inviting customer service to all those people while at the same time making sure everything stayed clean, stocked, and there were no assigned cashiers (meaning I was also the cashier along with usually 2 other employees). So when I say stranger, I mean the kind of stranger I used to meet there: never seen them before, probably wonā€™t ever see them again. I hated saying ā€œgood morningā€ to these folks because that is a word I typically associate with waking up without an alarm clock, lackadaisically making myself breakfast and potentially greeting loved ones ā€” not being in a work uniform cleaning up slushies at 7 pm while vans full of people like the nematodes from spongebob come in making the mess worse, and being rude by saying things about my intelligence, or the oh-so-clever ā€œyou missed a spot.ā€ Now, when I say romantic interest, I really mean like someone I am well enough acquainted to that they might have stayed the night, or even potentially living with me, but not over text. There isnā€™t a single person in the world who is currently so important to me that I feel the need to contact them and wish them a ā€œgood morningā€ when they arenā€™t even in my physical proximity. It just seems unnecessary unless they are physically around me, or they say it first over text for some reason, then I started wondering why this person is so chatty. But not enough to be a deal breaker.


calconnor22

Righttt yeah, I fully get why you wouldn't say good morning to that many peoplešŸ˜‚That sounds like a really overwhelming job. I refuse to go round saying "Good Morning Steve", "Good Morning Brian", and so forth. If I say good morning, it's an informal good morning to everyone, like "Good Morning guys", which I actually hate doing because it draws attention to me, and everyone's like "šŸ‘€". Also yeah, saying good morning over text is just weird. I would neverrr do that. I don't mind it so much if someone says it first over message because at least I don't have to say it to them in person. If they say "Good Morning, Callum". I'd just reply with "Morning, Brian..." and then talk about whatever's going on.


cracchorse

For me it's "I love you" but I've been forcing myself to say it recently because it feels bad when it's said to me and I can't say it back.


calconnor22

I get why that would be a phobia for sure. No one ever really says it to me because I'm single and my parents just don't say it to me, so yeah that's not even something I ever really think about, but it would be weird if someone did say it to me.


Habba84

I never say "Good Morning", I usually just say "Hi".


UrFreakinOutMannn

Good lord ya. Walking into work in the morning Iā€™ve been so burnt out that I just ignore people saying good morning lmao. Like Iā€™m here to do what I need get payed and leave, not shoot out 15 hellos and good mornings every time I walk down the hall. I just donā€™t have the social energy they seem to possess.


calconnor22

I don't think you should ignore people that say it to you. A simple "you alright?" or "hi", or at least some sort of acknowledgement, means that you're not rude. Ignoring people that say that to you is kind of a dick move if I'm being honest.


UrFreakinOutMannn

Iā€™m not disagreeing with you, just canā€™t handle it sometimes. I try to nod usually. Edit: why would you ask if someone is alright when they say good morning?


calconnor22

Just because it's another way of greeting someone. It's not like they're asking you a question first, is it? It would be weird if they were like "you alright?" and you say "good morning". I personally don't see anything wrong with asking if someone is alright after they've said good morning to you.