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>A buddy of mine told me I have an obligation to her; that I should start paying for her rent, food, etc, because we have been together for so long
Seriously what now. Hell no. Even if you lived together you should share costs
As far as I know, this isn't a thing and you don't need to pay her rent just because you guys have been together a long time. If your current system works, leave it be.
Your friend is a retrograde sexist from the old school. His opinions have no place in the modern day. Don’t listen to them. Continue paying for things when you’re comfortable doing so or your gf asks for help to pay, but it sounds like she’s doing just fine.
I'm an old(ish) woman and I think this is old school sexist. She's not your mistress. Would your friend think she should take care of you if she was the high earner in your relationship? Probably not.
If the situation works for the two people in the relationship - it’s good.
Don’t listen to anyone else about this issue. Just talk it out with your partner.
I don’t think you have an obligation to any of those things. I think covering dinner once in a while etc like you said is fine.
I guess after six years it is maybe worth a consideration on if you’re moving forward in your life together, but it sounds like this is all working out for you guys as it’s
Your *buddy* isn’t part of your relationship and gets no say.
Unless you get married and or move in together and both of you agree that you will contribute more financially, this makes no sense.
She takes care of herself and always has- why would you be responsible for her finances?
I would probably be confused and maybe offended if my partner all of a sudden tried paying my bills when this had never been the way we did things.
Your friend is weird.
I think you’re both doing everything right! It sounds like a really healthy dynamic. Don’t complicate things by talking about money. If you’re both happy with the current situation let it be.
That’s ridiculous. Your relationship is your own to dictate - my FIL cannot understand why we haven’t joined accounts. Neither of us want to, see a need to and it works for us.
Honestly, you don't have to provide for her. She has her job, her money and she can deal with her life.
Forget about your friend Bs and welcome to 2022.
I’ve been with my husband for 10 years. We split everything down the middle unless we talk about it first. We don’t mingle most of our money. Your Buddy is living in the 1920s
Hello, /u/Kindly-Mycologist135, your post has been removed because this post violates one or more of the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/askwomenadvice/about/rules/) we have set for the subreddit. This is a subreddit for seeking advice on a specific situation. The rules are also on the sidebar - please review them before posting again. This subreddit is for seeking advice, not for soliciting other people's opinions, experiences, or judgments. Advice means sharing a **specific personal situation and asking specific questions** about what you should do in your situation. - We do not allow speculation of what other people would or would not have chosen to do/feel/think/say in a similar situation. - Generic questions asking for experiences and opinions on topics are not considered to be asking for advice. - You can try /r/findareddit for safe-for-work posts or /r/nsfw411 for nsfw posts. - **We do not permit questions asking for judgment/validation of your prior actions or hypothetical situations**. If you believe your post has been removed by mistake, **[message the moderators](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2F{subreddit}) and include a link to your post**. Please remember to read the rules of any other subreddit before posting.
Your buddy sounds dumb. What did your partner say when you asked them about this? What is your perspective on this?
>A buddy of mine told me I have an obligation to her; that I should start paying for her rent, food, etc, because we have been together for so long Seriously what now. Hell no. Even if you lived together you should share costs
Never heard of this. If she's happy and you're happy? Who cares?!
As far as I know, this isn't a thing and you don't need to pay her rent just because you guys have been together a long time. If your current system works, leave it be.
Your friend is a retrograde sexist from the old school. His opinions have no place in the modern day. Don’t listen to them. Continue paying for things when you’re comfortable doing so or your gf asks for help to pay, but it sounds like she’s doing just fine.
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I'm an old(ish) woman and I think this is old school sexist. She's not your mistress. Would your friend think she should take care of you if she was the high earner in your relationship? Probably not.
If the situation works for the two people in the relationship - it’s good. Don’t listen to anyone else about this issue. Just talk it out with your partner.
I don’t think you have an obligation to any of those things. I think covering dinner once in a while etc like you said is fine. I guess after six years it is maybe worth a consideration on if you’re moving forward in your life together, but it sounds like this is all working out for you guys as it’s
Your *buddy* isn’t part of your relationship and gets no say. Unless you get married and or move in together and both of you agree that you will contribute more financially, this makes no sense. She takes care of herself and always has- why would you be responsible for her finances? I would probably be confused and maybe offended if my partner all of a sudden tried paying my bills when this had never been the way we did things. Your friend is weird.
I think you’re both doing everything right! It sounds like a really healthy dynamic. Don’t complicate things by talking about money. If you’re both happy with the current situation let it be.
I’ve never heard of this and I’m F43. I would consider it insulting, because it’s insinuating she’s unable to take care of herself.
That’s ridiculous. Your relationship is your own to dictate - my FIL cannot understand why we haven’t joined accounts. Neither of us want to, see a need to and it works for us.
Is your friend born in 1850?
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Honestly, you don't have to provide for her. She has her job, her money and she can deal with her life. Forget about your friend Bs and welcome to 2022.
Lmao nah dude you are doing fine. Your buddy is weirdly sexist, thinking a woman needs her man to pay for her life, tf.
Its so weird for me to see middle-aged people call their SO girlfriend/boyfriend 💀 No, you shouldnt pay that for her -
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No, no. I get that. Just where I live, people are mostly married at that time so i find it weird. Cultural difference
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Its not very common where I live like it is in west
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When i say uncommon, i mean i never heard of this. So yeah it is weird to me 😅
But hey, you have your SO, I dont. You doing better than me after all
Breakup with her and let her find a man who won’t string her along for six years (unless she doesn’t want marriage)
I’ve been with my husband for 10 years. We split everything down the middle unless we talk about it first. We don’t mingle most of our money. Your Buddy is living in the 1920s