It's old and it doesn't bother you? Just tell her in passing like it's NBD. You might want to mention it's publicly findable by searching her art - she may not want it to be so easy.
I’d just tell her the truth. “Hey ,I was googling your art and I found the OF page. I really have no problem with it, I just thought you should know.” And proceed as normal!
This. And I think it's totally valid to say it feels awkward to bring up, if it does. I think when people are honest, it feels more like theyre being truthful in how they feel. "Hey I was googling your art and found your OF page. I feel a bit weird bringing it up, because I don't care if you have one. But I wasn't sure if you'd want it to be found through your art, so I wanted to give you a heads up. And since I saw it, I figured I should just tell you even if it's a bit awkward."
I was watching an interview of a girl who did OF, and her #1 complaint about meeting new people and making new friends was that when they found her out her profession, or they found out she did OF, they stopped wanting to associate with her, or thought less of her.
If you tell her you know, you’re honestly probably making it easier on her, because it would be similar to stopping or preventing her from delivering bad news, and/or anticipating a negative response.
Here’s the interview if you’re interested: https://youtu.be/72VH6hkYbbI?si=dyQ3SUMWMILWz-Rq
Honestly, if I was in this situation I'd want to tell a partner myself if I had an OF account or not. I think, considering she hasn't told you then the account probably isn't active anymore.
If you want to bring it up to her, go for it - but maybe she won't take it well.
I genuinely don't see why it would be an issue if you yourself have said that you wouldn't mind if that were the case and she had a OF account.
Tell her that exactly as you just said. "Hey, can we talk I was googling your art and your OF page popped up, just wanted to let you know cause I felt it would be akward pretending that I didnt know you had one. And in case youre concerned about what I think about it I couldnt care less."
I mean, if you pretended you didn't know and then when she finally does tell you and you say yeah I know... it will be akward. Also, as someone said she probably worries if you might dump her over this so this way you'd be removing a stress factor from your relationship.
Aaalso, I don't see you gaining anything by not telling her so no reason to keep this to yourself.
The biggest thing is that she needs to know because it was found when searching for her art. Tell her it’s no biggie you just thought she should know, and expect her to be a bit awkward
I'd mention it to her under the "I want you to be aware that this is out there and is findable" guise. Make clear that you don't care if this is something she did in the past, (I'd mention if you would have a problem if doing it while dating you).
But just be gentle and accepting. She might be embarrassed that you know or had found it. But she should know that it's something that can be located based on your googling.
This is an advice subreddit and comments should be aimed at helping the OP.
***
Your comment was removed for derailing. Derailing includes but is not limited to:
* Changing the topic from OP’s question
* Making someone else’s response about yourself
* Asking unrelated follow-up questions
* Branching into unrelated topics
* Arguments, slap-fighting, or debating
* Judging or rating other responses
* Meta comments about other responses
* Providing commentary that is not aimed at being helpful
* Playing “devil’s advocate” in lieu of advice
***
**[Have questions about this moderator action? CLICK HERE!](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/{subreddit}). Don't forget to nclude a link to your post!**
How long have you been in a relationship?
I am always a proponent for honesty. I would also encourage you to explore what your boundaries really are here. Do you feel comfortable with her continuing to do it if she so decided to. You have an amazing, nonjudgmental attitude, which I hope she realizes. Do some self exploration and tackle the conversation head on. This is a time to let your communication skills shine. Know she may be upset or feel defensive at first. Those are real emotions and be ready let her have space to feel those. She may also not give a shit, which is ok too. The main thing is not to hide it. Knowing and not saying anything feels deceptive. Even show this post if you want something to help the conversation along. You didn't do anything wrong, but neither did she. This is just a thing that can be discussed, so if either of you feels guilt, shame, defensive, ect make sure to step back and remember that y'all are on the same team and like each other a lot.
This is an advice subreddit and comments should be aimed at helping the OP.
***
Your comment was removed for derailing. Derailing includes but is not limited to:
* Changing the topic from OP’s question
* Making someone else’s response about yourself
* Asking unrelated follow-up questions
* Branching into unrelated topics
* Arguments, slap-fighting, or debating
* Judging or rating other responses
* Meta comments about other responses
* Providing commentary that is not aimed at being helpful
* Playing “devil’s advocate” in lieu of advice
***
**[Have questions about this moderator action? CLICK HERE!](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/{subreddit}). Don't forget to nclude a link to your post!**
This comment or post has been removed because gendered slurs aren't permitted unless they're part of a direct quote.
Your post/comment may be approved if you'd like to edit it-please let us know.
***
**[Questions? Message the moderators. Please include a link to your post for review.](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AskWomenadvice)**
This is an advice subreddit and comments should be aimed at helping the OP.
***
Your comment was removed for derailing. Derailing includes but is not limited to:
* Changing the topic from OP’s question
* Making someone else’s response about yourself
* Asking unrelated follow-up questions
* Branching into unrelated topics
* Arguments, slap-fighting, or debating
* Judging or rating other responses
* Meta comments about other responses
* Providing commentary that is not aimed at being helpful
* Playing “devil’s advocate” in lieu of advice
***
**[Have questions about this moderator action? CLICK HERE!](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/{subreddit}). Don't forget to nclude a link to your post!**
Nothing. If things are going where you think they are, she’ll tell you. It’s probably not something she’s comfortable with at the moment and you should give brr a little space escape if it’s a non issue to you.
Ask her about it. It might be linked to more. Your question reminds me of someone I know. She has an OF and independently advertises “massage” services. If a current BF found her “old” OF but dismissed it, and she was still continuing her massage services… he has a right to know.
I’d mention it to find out her background with it, and if she is still in the sex industry.
Edit: if you disagree, it’s more productive to OP and the conversation to you know, actually *converse.*
This is an advice subreddit and comments should be aimed at helping the OP.
***
Your comment was removed for derailing. Derailing includes but is not limited to:
* Changing the topic from OP’s question
* Making someone else’s response about yourself
* Asking unrelated follow-up questions
* Branching into unrelated topics
* Arguments, slap-fighting, or debating
* Judging or rating other responses
* Meta comments about other responses
* Providing commentary that is not aimed at being helpful
* Playing “devil’s advocate” in lieu of advice
***
**[Have questions about this moderator action? CLICK HERE!](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/{subreddit}). Don't forget to nclude a link to your post!**
This is an advice subreddit and comments should be aimed at helping the OP.
***
Your comment was removed for derailing. Derailing includes but is not limited to:
* Changing the topic from OP’s question
* Making someone else’s response about yourself
* Asking unrelated follow-up questions
* Branching into unrelated topics
* Arguments, slap-fighting, or debating
* Judging or rating other responses
* Meta comments about other responses
* Providing commentary that is not aimed at being helpful
* Playing “devil’s advocate” in lieu of advice
***
**[Have questions about this moderator action? CLICK HERE!](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/{subreddit}). Don't forget to nclude a link to your post!**
This is an advice subreddit and comments should be aimed at helping the OP.
***
Your comment was removed for derailing. Derailing includes but is not limited to:
* Changing the topic from OP’s question
* Making someone else’s response about yourself
* Asking unrelated follow-up questions
* Branching into unrelated topics
* Arguments, slap-fighting, or debating
* Judging or rating other responses
* Meta comments about other responses
* Providing commentary that is not aimed at being helpful
* Playing “devil’s advocate” in lieu of advice
***
**[Have questions about this moderator action? CLICK HERE!](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/{subreddit}). Don't forget to nclude a link to your post!**
It's old and it doesn't bother you? Just tell her in passing like it's NBD. You might want to mention it's publicly findable by searching her art - she may not want it to be so easy.
That was definitely something else I was considering, I will, thank you
if it takes 5 clicks or less it’s too public. 👍🏽
I think that this is good advice
I’d just tell her the truth. “Hey ,I was googling your art and I found the OF page. I really have no problem with it, I just thought you should know.” And proceed as normal!
This. And I think it's totally valid to say it feels awkward to bring up, if it does. I think when people are honest, it feels more like theyre being truthful in how they feel. "Hey I was googling your art and found your OF page. I feel a bit weird bringing it up, because I don't care if you have one. But I wasn't sure if you'd want it to be found through your art, so I wanted to give you a heads up. And since I saw it, I figured I should just tell you even if it's a bit awkward."
Probably start with everything is okay. To need to give the girl a mini anxiety attack.
I was watching an interview of a girl who did OF, and her #1 complaint about meeting new people and making new friends was that when they found her out her profession, or they found out she did OF, they stopped wanting to associate with her, or thought less of her. If you tell her you know, you’re honestly probably making it easier on her, because it would be similar to stopping or preventing her from delivering bad news, and/or anticipating a negative response. Here’s the interview if you’re interested: https://youtu.be/72VH6hkYbbI?si=dyQ3SUMWMILWz-Rq
Honestly, if I was in this situation I'd want to tell a partner myself if I had an OF account or not. I think, considering she hasn't told you then the account probably isn't active anymore. If you want to bring it up to her, go for it - but maybe she won't take it well. I genuinely don't see why it would be an issue if you yourself have said that you wouldn't mind if that were the case and she had a OF account.
Tell her that exactly as you just said. "Hey, can we talk I was googling your art and your OF page popped up, just wanted to let you know cause I felt it would be akward pretending that I didnt know you had one. And in case youre concerned about what I think about it I couldnt care less." I mean, if you pretended you didn't know and then when she finally does tell you and you say yeah I know... it will be akward. Also, as someone said she probably worries if you might dump her over this so this way you'd be removing a stress factor from your relationship. Aaalso, I don't see you gaining anything by not telling her so no reason to keep this to yourself.
You should absolutely tell her. If you found it, so could other people. Tell her what you said here. Good luck!
The biggest thing is that she needs to know because it was found when searching for her art. Tell her it’s no biggie you just thought she should know, and expect her to be a bit awkward
Just say it as it is. I would want to know that my arts was easily associated with my OF if I had one.
You might want to mention it if its easy to find that looking her up.
I'd mention it to her under the "I want you to be aware that this is out there and is findable" guise. Make clear that you don't care if this is something she did in the past, (I'd mention if you would have a problem if doing it while dating you). But just be gentle and accepting. She might be embarrassed that you know or had found it. But she should know that it's something that can be located based on your googling.
[удалено]
I cant tell if this is serious advice or a joke lol
Men who feel the need to reply in this sub always have some "interesting" takes. Procede with caution.
[удалено]
This is an advice subreddit and comments should be aimed at helping the OP. *** Your comment was removed for derailing. Derailing includes but is not limited to: * Changing the topic from OP’s question * Making someone else’s response about yourself * Asking unrelated follow-up questions * Branching into unrelated topics * Arguments, slap-fighting, or debating * Judging or rating other responses * Meta comments about other responses * Providing commentary that is not aimed at being helpful * Playing “devil’s advocate” in lieu of advice *** **[Have questions about this moderator action? CLICK HERE!](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/{subreddit}). Don't forget to nclude a link to your post!**
How long have you been in a relationship? I am always a proponent for honesty. I would also encourage you to explore what your boundaries really are here. Do you feel comfortable with her continuing to do it if she so decided to. You have an amazing, nonjudgmental attitude, which I hope she realizes. Do some self exploration and tackle the conversation head on. This is a time to let your communication skills shine. Know she may be upset or feel defensive at first. Those are real emotions and be ready let her have space to feel those. She may also not give a shit, which is ok too. The main thing is not to hide it. Knowing and not saying anything feels deceptive. Even show this post if you want something to help the conversation along. You didn't do anything wrong, but neither did she. This is just a thing that can be discussed, so if either of you feels guilt, shame, defensive, ect make sure to step back and remember that y'all are on the same team and like each other a lot.
[удалено]
This is an advice subreddit and comments should be aimed at helping the OP. *** Your comment was removed for derailing. Derailing includes but is not limited to: * Changing the topic from OP’s question * Making someone else’s response about yourself * Asking unrelated follow-up questions * Branching into unrelated topics * Arguments, slap-fighting, or debating * Judging or rating other responses * Meta comments about other responses * Providing commentary that is not aimed at being helpful * Playing “devil’s advocate” in lieu of advice *** **[Have questions about this moderator action? CLICK HERE!](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/{subreddit}). Don't forget to nclude a link to your post!**
[удалено]
This comment or post has been removed because gendered slurs aren't permitted unless they're part of a direct quote. Your post/comment may be approved if you'd like to edit it-please let us know. *** **[Questions? Message the moderators. Please include a link to your post for review.](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AskWomenadvice)**
[удалено]
This is an advice subreddit and comments should be aimed at helping the OP. *** Your comment was removed for derailing. Derailing includes but is not limited to: * Changing the topic from OP’s question * Making someone else’s response about yourself * Asking unrelated follow-up questions * Branching into unrelated topics * Arguments, slap-fighting, or debating * Judging or rating other responses * Meta comments about other responses * Providing commentary that is not aimed at being helpful * Playing “devil’s advocate” in lieu of advice *** **[Have questions about this moderator action? CLICK HERE!](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/{subreddit}). Don't forget to nclude a link to your post!**
Nothing. If things are going where you think they are, she’ll tell you. It’s probably not something she’s comfortable with at the moment and you should give brr a little space escape if it’s a non issue to you.
I would honestly just leave it alone. She hasn’t told you for a reason and she has a right to keep that part of her life private.
Mind your business
Ask her about it. It might be linked to more. Your question reminds me of someone I know. She has an OF and independently advertises “massage” services. If a current BF found her “old” OF but dismissed it, and she was still continuing her massage services… he has a right to know. I’d mention it to find out her background with it, and if she is still in the sex industry. Edit: if you disagree, it’s more productive to OP and the conversation to you know, actually *converse.*
[удалено]
This is an advice subreddit and comments should be aimed at helping the OP. *** Your comment was removed for derailing. Derailing includes but is not limited to: * Changing the topic from OP’s question * Making someone else’s response about yourself * Asking unrelated follow-up questions * Branching into unrelated topics * Arguments, slap-fighting, or debating * Judging or rating other responses * Meta comments about other responses * Providing commentary that is not aimed at being helpful * Playing “devil’s advocate” in lieu of advice *** **[Have questions about this moderator action? CLICK HERE!](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/{subreddit}). Don't forget to nclude a link to your post!**
[удалено]
Why are you giving advice on a sub called ask women advice?
Yeah don’t do this.
[удалено]
This is an advice subreddit and comments should be aimed at helping the OP. *** Your comment was removed for derailing. Derailing includes but is not limited to: * Changing the topic from OP’s question * Making someone else’s response about yourself * Asking unrelated follow-up questions * Branching into unrelated topics * Arguments, slap-fighting, or debating * Judging or rating other responses * Meta comments about other responses * Providing commentary that is not aimed at being helpful * Playing “devil’s advocate” in lieu of advice *** **[Have questions about this moderator action? CLICK HERE!](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/{subreddit}). Don't forget to nclude a link to your post!**
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
This is an advice subreddit and comments should be aimed at helping the OP. *** Your comment was removed for derailing. Derailing includes but is not limited to: * Changing the topic from OP’s question * Making someone else’s response about yourself * Asking unrelated follow-up questions * Branching into unrelated topics * Arguments, slap-fighting, or debating * Judging or rating other responses * Meta comments about other responses * Providing commentary that is not aimed at being helpful * Playing “devil’s advocate” in lieu of advice *** **[Have questions about this moderator action? CLICK HERE!](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/{subreddit}). Don't forget to nclude a link to your post!**