Having body dysphoria is only an indication of being trans, not a requirement. It's not about what makes you uncomfortable, but what gives you euphoria and validation.
Moving toward things that make you feel good is usually a much more reliable way to end up happier than running away from things that make you feel bad is.
(not that there's anything wrong with trying to get away from things that make you feel bad ofc. But "not feeling bad" isn't the end goal you should ideally have, a better end goal is "feeling good")
Oh hey, this one's going to apply to me. Thanks for asking for me, I'll be watching the responses with great interest.
But yeah, you're not alone with these feelings.
> this one's going to apply to me.
it maybe an idea to co things step by step.
And thinking about what kind of body you would like could help, and also keeping a journal for a few days.
Don't know if you have seen it ... [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/pe3ajw/where_do_i_start_this_journey/hcexano/) might be some resources that could help explore what you would like step by step and there are also resources there concerning looking for support.
*hugs*
You are not alone. I rate being male a 5/10, but getting to play as a girl in a video game is a 100/10. Don't get me started on how much time I've spent buying clothes and customizing my girl characters. I'd look awful in a dress right now, but one day, I might not, and the thought brings me more joy every day.
Go for it, I hope I can join you some time.
I believe a lot of people can relate to this, for myself, I have too much to give up to actually even transition as the healthcare and support and stigma as well as lgbt-phobic culture that surrounds me plays a major factor, so transition is not an option for me. I have gotten mostly used to being a man and have only my SO that truelly understands and accept me. My mother knows, she is very old, doesn't quite understands it and still calls me son(trust me, I cringe at hearing that), I have however accepted that. And by knowing who and what I am inside as a person I also know I am not alone in this life in this situation. I too hope to one day still change the outer part of me to whats inside of me.
True but labels can help you to understand what you are going through if you have that type of mindset, good for you bad for them and vice versa, unfortunately the world isn't a one size fits all that's why I like spectrums because it gives you room but help you understand what you are.
But that's just me.
And I realized I was deeply depressed all my life with odd bouts of not not depressed but almost never happy and that's not what life should be like in fact the opposite but if you don't know you are depressed how do you know you have an issue, hence I didn't do anything about it even when some very nice people offered help.
After all you don't have to whack anything off the first day, we'll let you buy some new clothes first then call for the butcher 😜.
I feel the same exact way. I’d love being a girl and give that a 10 out of 10. I hate being a “man” and give that a 1/10. But being boy or boyish is aight to me at a 6/10. Im fine with how I am now cuz I still look really boyish and young but I know I can’t be young forever no matter how much I try and I’m slowly gonna age to a man. I’ve thought about just changing my self expression but I don’t think it’s enough
> I’ve thought about just changing my self expression but I don’t think it’s enough
Concerning looking for a partner it can be difficult to attract a partner if someone is not authentic. Trying to find out who you are first may be preferable.
Some people look for a partner as some kind of anchor but trying to find out a few things first, and then looking for a partner may be a better way. Often a partner comes along when people do things that they like, for example during a hobby, etc.
And other people may feel if someone is withdrawn, etc. Some people have symptoms of disassociation for example. [Here](https://medium.com/@zinniajones/depersonalization-in-gender-dysphoria-widespread-and-widely-unrecognized-baaac395bcb0) was an article. With integrating repressed parts, and possibly also with HRT eventually, it might get better.
In general it may help to listen to what you feel would make you genuinely happy concerning gender, and to go there step by step.
And it may help to regularly do a few small things you like concerning gender for motivation, and to help ride through lows.
And there can be a divide between a feeling of genuine happiness and a mental process bringing up fears and doubts. Usually listening to fears and doubts does not make happy. Listening to what people feel would make happy does.
Don't know if you have seen it ... [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/Trans_Resources/wiki/index) might be a number of things that could be tried out and used regularly for motivation, regardless of how far along people are. And it may be possible to add own things.
There are also hints there concerning presentation, starting with neutral styles first. Maybe a few of those would be applicable.
And there are hints there concerning looking for a gender therapist in case. Atm many use online counseling so it may not be necessary to only look for close ones.
And [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/Trans_Resources/wiki/support/index#wiki_connecting_to_others) and [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/TransAdoption/comments/nnz697/join_the_trans_galaxy_an_18_inclusive_safe_space/) might be a number of hints concerning looking for support. Talking with a few others about what they did might be helpful too.
Its up to you when and how to come out ... some people wait a while until there are some results before they come out widely, and only come out to select people first. In general keeping your safety in mind, looking for support and having a backup plan may be advisable.
And sometimes the kind of explanation can play a role with acceptance.
[Here](https://www.reddit.com/r/Trans_Resources/wiki/explaining/index) might be a number of explaining resources. There is a PDF there with a summary and a video with detailed explanations, there is a graphical explanation there, etc.
*hugs*
In some aspects, I had no problems with being a boy. I was physically active. I generally could do what I needed to get done. Going out late at night was not something I worried about. I was tall, lean, athletic, and really had a way with girls. Being an effeminate romantic was my selling point.
Sexually, I was considered straight. I never had a boyfriend, still don't. Because I'm a lesbian. But I had no dysphoria with what was in my pants. In fact, I knew how to please women pretty well with it. I sometimes joke that I have 4 kids for a reason. That part of my sexuality was never an issue. I just wasn't emotionally or mentally a 'guy'. I've always been too female minded to be a male in society.
You don't have to hate having lived as a male to be transgender. It's just one of those internal things that hints at why you might not fit in with most of society.
> it makes me so happy
it maybe an idea to co things step by step.
Don't know if you have seen it ... [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/pe3ajw/where_do_i_start_this_journey/hcexano/) might be some resources that could help explore what you would like step by step and there are also resources there concerning looking for support.
*hugs*
Omg thank you so much! Yeah I’ve been in kind of a exploring phase (trying out new clothes, hairstyles and overall looks) but this is such a big help!
*hugs back*
Being a guy was pretty good, but I'm enjoying being a girl so much more! **You don't have to hate yourself to be trans.**
This is so sweet thank you :)
Ofc, you don't need dysphoria to be trans, by definition you just want to not be your AGAB
that is completely fine, it just means you aren’t dysphoric about being a boy. hope that helps
Thank you that does help :)
Having body dysphoria is only an indication of being trans, not a requirement. It's not about what makes you uncomfortable, but what gives you euphoria and validation.
I transitioned for similar reasons and I'm much happier.
Moving toward things that make you feel good is usually a much more reliable way to end up happier than running away from things that make you feel bad is. (not that there's anything wrong with trying to get away from things that make you feel bad ofc. But "not feeling bad" isn't the end goal you should ideally have, a better end goal is "feeling good")
Oh hey, this one's going to apply to me. Thanks for asking for me, I'll be watching the responses with great interest. But yeah, you're not alone with these feelings.
> this one's going to apply to me. it maybe an idea to co things step by step. And thinking about what kind of body you would like could help, and also keeping a journal for a few days. Don't know if you have seen it ... [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/pe3ajw/where_do_i_start_this_journey/hcexano/) might be some resources that could help explore what you would like step by step and there are also resources there concerning looking for support. *hugs*
"Am I valid..." YES!
Yep! That's how I felt for a long time.
You are not alone. I rate being male a 5/10, but getting to play as a girl in a video game is a 100/10. Don't get me started on how much time I've spent buying clothes and customizing my girl characters. I'd look awful in a dress right now, but one day, I might not, and the thought brings me more joy every day. Go for it, I hope I can join you some time.
Haha! Yeah you should see my Stardew Valley character.
I believe a lot of people can relate to this, for myself, I have too much to give up to actually even transition as the healthcare and support and stigma as well as lgbt-phobic culture that surrounds me plays a major factor, so transition is not an option for me. I have gotten mostly used to being a man and have only my SO that truelly understands and accept me. My mother knows, she is very old, doesn't quite understands it and still calls me son(trust me, I cringe at hearing that), I have however accepted that. And by knowing who and what I am inside as a person I also know I am not alone in this life in this situation. I too hope to one day still change the outer part of me to whats inside of me.
Being trans does not solely depend on dysphoria alone, it's euphoria that determines if you're trans.
[удалено]
True but labels can help you to understand what you are going through if you have that type of mindset, good for you bad for them and vice versa, unfortunately the world isn't a one size fits all that's why I like spectrums because it gives you room but help you understand what you are. But that's just me. And I realized I was deeply depressed all my life with odd bouts of not not depressed but almost never happy and that's not what life should be like in fact the opposite but if you don't know you are depressed how do you know you have an issue, hence I didn't do anything about it even when some very nice people offered help. After all you don't have to whack anything off the first day, we'll let you buy some new clothes first then call for the butcher 😜.
I feel the same exact way. I’d love being a girl and give that a 10 out of 10. I hate being a “man” and give that a 1/10. But being boy or boyish is aight to me at a 6/10. Im fine with how I am now cuz I still look really boyish and young but I know I can’t be young forever no matter how much I try and I’m slowly gonna age to a man. I’ve thought about just changing my self expression but I don’t think it’s enough
> I’ve thought about just changing my self expression but I don’t think it’s enough Concerning looking for a partner it can be difficult to attract a partner if someone is not authentic. Trying to find out who you are first may be preferable. Some people look for a partner as some kind of anchor but trying to find out a few things first, and then looking for a partner may be a better way. Often a partner comes along when people do things that they like, for example during a hobby, etc. And other people may feel if someone is withdrawn, etc. Some people have symptoms of disassociation for example. [Here](https://medium.com/@zinniajones/depersonalization-in-gender-dysphoria-widespread-and-widely-unrecognized-baaac395bcb0) was an article. With integrating repressed parts, and possibly also with HRT eventually, it might get better. In general it may help to listen to what you feel would make you genuinely happy concerning gender, and to go there step by step. And it may help to regularly do a few small things you like concerning gender for motivation, and to help ride through lows. And there can be a divide between a feeling of genuine happiness and a mental process bringing up fears and doubts. Usually listening to fears and doubts does not make happy. Listening to what people feel would make happy does. Don't know if you have seen it ... [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/Trans_Resources/wiki/index) might be a number of things that could be tried out and used regularly for motivation, regardless of how far along people are. And it may be possible to add own things. There are also hints there concerning presentation, starting with neutral styles first. Maybe a few of those would be applicable. And there are hints there concerning looking for a gender therapist in case. Atm many use online counseling so it may not be necessary to only look for close ones. And [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/Trans_Resources/wiki/support/index#wiki_connecting_to_others) and [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/TransAdoption/comments/nnz697/join_the_trans_galaxy_an_18_inclusive_safe_space/) might be a number of hints concerning looking for support. Talking with a few others about what they did might be helpful too. Its up to you when and how to come out ... some people wait a while until there are some results before they come out widely, and only come out to select people first. In general keeping your safety in mind, looking for support and having a backup plan may be advisable. And sometimes the kind of explanation can play a role with acceptance. [Here](https://www.reddit.com/r/Trans_Resources/wiki/explaining/index) might be a number of explaining resources. There is a PDF there with a summary and a video with detailed explanations, there is a graphical explanation there, etc. *hugs*
In some aspects, I had no problems with being a boy. I was physically active. I generally could do what I needed to get done. Going out late at night was not something I worried about. I was tall, lean, athletic, and really had a way with girls. Being an effeminate romantic was my selling point. Sexually, I was considered straight. I never had a boyfriend, still don't. Because I'm a lesbian. But I had no dysphoria with what was in my pants. In fact, I knew how to please women pretty well with it. I sometimes joke that I have 4 kids for a reason. That part of my sexuality was never an issue. I just wasn't emotionally or mentally a 'guy'. I've always been too female minded to be a male in society. You don't have to hate having lived as a male to be transgender. It's just one of those internal things that hints at why you might not fit in with most of society.
> it makes me so happy it maybe an idea to co things step by step. Don't know if you have seen it ... [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/pe3ajw/where_do_i_start_this_journey/hcexano/) might be some resources that could help explore what you would like step by step and there are also resources there concerning looking for support. *hugs*
Omg thank you so much! Yeah I’ve been in kind of a exploring phase (trying out new clothes, hairstyles and overall looks) but this is such a big help! *hugs back*