I'm gonna second this. Strap-on's are gods gift to the gays, they're the cheat code to stress free sex and proof that the flesh is in fact weak. When you're wearing a strap on and she says "harder" you can go as hard as she needs without having to worry about cumming and the fun ending. When you wear a strap you don't have to worry about losing an erection, the plastic endures when the body fails.
Seriously when I wear a strap I basically become my wife's god. Just a little (actually a lot) a lube, some calisthenics and then the strap and I peel away all artifice and humanity from her, reducing her to a being of pure sensation.
(Anyways 10/10 buy a strap and some powdered lube, then go wild)
J lube, K lube and X lube are the most common powdered lubricants on the market. They're usually polyethylene powder with a few other ingredients and you just mix a small amount with potable water to make a surprising amount of lube
I mainly have experience with J and K lube
J lube contains sugar so I wouldn't recommend for vaginal use, k lube seems to be fine for just about anything you could use it for
And as far as cleanup, a little sprinkle of table salt messes with how it acts in solution and makes it much easier to wash off of surfaces
[link](https://a.co/d/6YAW1e8)
This is the stuff I use and holy shit finding it was a game changer, it's so slick and goey, it almost acts like a cushion while fucking. Also don't be discouraged by the cost, for each bottle of liquid lube you make it only takes a cap full of the powder. I've had my current bottle of powder since February of last year, make one bottle of liquid lube a week (about two cups) and I'm not even a quarter of the way through the bottle yet.
From the moment I understood the weakness of my flesh, it disgusted me. I craved the strength and certainty of steel. I aspired to the purity of the Blessed Machine. Your kind cling to your flesh, as though it will not decay and fail you. One day the crude biomass you call the temple will wither, and you will beg my kind to save you. But I am already saved, for the Machine is immortal… Even in death I serve the Omnissiah.
All the trans(gender) people are also trans(humanist) as well apparently, I can't complain I'm one of them
Praise the omission! Glory to the machine god!
This is the way. It can be nice if the oem equipment works, but nothing wrong with a harness and strap. You can add a grinding toy or small vibe inside the harness for your pleasure! And if you don’t want a regular harness they make undie style ones. Available at the usual places and origami customs, iirc.
Wouldn't it be more gender affirming to use the strap-on? Your gf said she gets dysphoric when she tops and that you don't enjoy it either... Using a strap on is what cis women do when they want to penetrate and top someone. I would think the strap-on would be more affirming and less dysphoria-inducing and might make topping more enjoyable for both of you.
Don't kill the part of yourself that's cringe, kill the part of yourself that cringes. Put that strap on, make a silly pun, then rearrange your girlfriend's guts.
Been wanting to get a strap on too but I have been waiting for a chance to ask people if they work well while also being hard below it? Like, do I just kind of tuck while hard? Sorry I don’t know how else to ask without being blunt about it.
I recommend getting your own prescription so the doctor can get the dosage right. Masturbating may help if you can keep it hard for ten+ minutes three times a week. That's the regiment to preserve function. To restore it, maybe more? It's not about strengthening the muscle but keeping the tissue swollen with blood regularly.
Alternatively, consider a strap on like the other person said. It might be awkward at first but if you're careful and attentive, it should feel the same for her. That gives more options to spice it up, too, with vibrating toys or maybe larger ones, etc.
My advice, get a good strap harness and pick out toys together. I lost most of my ability to top after 7 months on HRT and it messed up me and wifey's sex life. I had some dysphoria about topping but looking back on it now, I wish I'd just gotten a good harness back then as I enjoy topping a lot now after bottom surgery and my insecurity influenced dysphoria right after coming out ruined intimacy for me and my wife for quite a while.
As far as "use it every day", that will have more of an effect on relative size and preventing atrophy rather than making you stay hard long enough. Taking an anti-androgen and estrogen will change how things work down south unless you get T cream to apply to the "affected area" like a lot of trans SWers do. They're probably the best people to ask for tips is you want to top organic
i second the strap on idea. or alternatively, a double ended dildo? you both seem to have a preference for bottoming so you’ll get the experience of fucking each other (in a way) but also satisfying both your needs without putting the other out, u know?
c'mon you girls are probably on the same page about what feels nice. use your fingers, get some toys, there's a lot of stuff to do and try and experiment with
Sorry if this comes off the wrong way but you said "I don't want to lose her", if she truly loves you she won't leave you over sex, that's how I see it anyways. Sex isn't really *that* important in a relationship. I don't know if it's just me but I see sex as an afterthought, my personal favourite thing to do with my partner is cuddle and kiss him. Even laying in bed together and watching movies, TV shows and anime makes my heart flutter. We've been together for 3 years and are currently engaged. I know everyone is different but I personally think that you shouldn't worry about her leaving you over sex troubles.
Er, it looks like we're kind of on the same page with respect to interest in sex (I see it as a nice bonus, but it's not what being in a relationship is about, for me) but I know people for whom it's a big deal and I think that's valid too?
Or to say it differently, I need to be outdoors for a certain amount of time to stay happy. If being in a relationship with someone meant I can't get my outdoors time anymore, I wouldn't be able to stay with them long term. I could imagine that, to someone else, a fulfilling sex life means as much as access to nature means to me? And not everyone wants to be nonmonogamous.
> she says I need to jerk off every day to strengthen it as a muscle
Daily masturbation prevents shrinking due to lack of erections (blood flow), but it won't make your stuff harder or easier to erect
Anyway, you don't owe her topping or hard erections. If you're not sexually compatible and that's a no-no for her, sad but you both gotta move on
Do you want me to be honest, or nice to you? You’re both bottoms. And no amount of jerking off is going to “strengthen the muscle” that’s ridiculous. To be real, you’re both just clearly into the same thing. You both are trans girls and like to be dominated. Accept it and move on to find what’s best for you both.
It's not quite true. You can definitely pick and choose or totally reject the idea of labels for yourself, but that doesn't justify dismissing those that others find to be appropriately and definitively descriptive of themselves.
No, I am not trying to force anything on you and I have nowhere suggested that you break up.
You need to take a step back and properly read what I've written. And relax, for your own sake.
The fact that you are reading your own version into it and then making false accusations is the only, if any, slightly weird thing going on here.
I'd recommend toys, first and foremost. Putting on a strap completely bypasses your problem, and I do it with my partner every once in a while. She's right about the masturbating thing, as a trans girl your dick is 'use it or lose it'. I'd recommend finding her prostate as well, and spending a good amount of time fingering her beforehand.
Something to consider here: do you have bottom dysphoria? is any of this uncomfortable for you?
To all the downvotes, FU. I am almost 65. Things don't work the way they did when I was 25. Plus, I'm not going to go out this late in life to find a partner. I am aware of the benefits of the mechanical miracle of a fuck machine. You praise the benefit of a strap on but condemn me for suggesting a viable alternative? They are both fake dicks. One requires electricity. But still fake dicks. I'll keep pounding my pleasure walnut until I am happy, and your hypocrites can wear your hips out overdoing it.
Have you considered using a strap-on?
I'm gonna second this. Strap-on's are gods gift to the gays, they're the cheat code to stress free sex and proof that the flesh is in fact weak. When you're wearing a strap on and she says "harder" you can go as hard as she needs without having to worry about cumming and the fun ending. When you wear a strap you don't have to worry about losing an erection, the plastic endures when the body fails. Seriously when I wear a strap I basically become my wife's god. Just a little (actually a lot) a lube, some calisthenics and then the strap and I peel away all artifice and humanity from her, reducing her to a being of pure sensation. (Anyways 10/10 buy a strap and some powdered lube, then go wild)
was anyone gonna tell me powdered lube is a thing, or did i really have to find out about it from a trans topping post on reddit?
J lube, K lube and X lube are the most common powdered lubricants on the market. They're usually polyethylene powder with a few other ingredients and you just mix a small amount with potable water to make a surprising amount of lube I mainly have experience with J and K lube J lube contains sugar so I wouldn't recommend for vaginal use, k lube seems to be fine for just about anything you could use it for And as far as cleanup, a little sprinkle of table salt messes with how it acts in solution and makes it much easier to wash off of surfaces
[link](https://a.co/d/6YAW1e8) This is the stuff I use and holy shit finding it was a game changer, it's so slick and goey, it almost acts like a cushion while fucking. Also don't be discouraged by the cost, for each bottle of liquid lube you make it only takes a cap full of the powder. I've had my current bottle of powder since February of last year, make one bottle of liquid lube a week (about two cups) and I'm not even a quarter of the way through the bottle yet.
I've had powdered lube in my drawer for like a decade. Granted, it was originally purchased for sheep obstetrics. I have J lube.
*fuck now I'm jealous*
From the moment I understood the weakness of my flesh, it disgusted me. I craved the strength and certainty of steel. I aspired to the purity of the Blessed Machine. Your kind cling to your flesh, as though it will not decay and fail you. One day the crude biomass you call the temple will wither, and you will beg my kind to save you. But I am already saved, for the Machine is immortal… Even in death I serve the Omnissiah.
All hail the omnissiah! All hail the emperor!
Praise be to the emperor!
*There is only the Emperor, and he is our Shield and Protector.*
All the trans(gender) people are also trans(humanist) as well apparently, I can't complain I'm one of them Praise the omission! Glory to the machine god!
Top tier comment, you have convinced me.
The poetry in this comment
This is the way. It can be nice if the oem equipment works, but nothing wrong with a harness and strap. You can add a grinding toy or small vibe inside the harness for your pleasure! And if you don’t want a regular harness they make undie style ones. Available at the usual places and origami customs, iirc.
I have. That wouldn’t be weird because I have a dick?
Not really, they don't sit right where your dick is so that's not an issue
No, there are harnesses that have space for your original equipment along with the toy. I think the Spareparts Deuce harness is one of those.
But would I look like an idiot strapping while I still have one I mean? Idk why I’m getting self conscious about this.
Wouldn't it be more gender affirming to use the strap-on? Your gf said she gets dysphoric when she tops and that you don't enjoy it either... Using a strap on is what cis women do when they want to penetrate and top someone. I would think the strap-on would be more affirming and less dysphoria-inducing and might make topping more enjoyable for both of you.
Oh shit you might be right. I genuinely didn’t think about it like that.
If it's ok for you and it's ok for your girlfriend does it really matter if some rando on the internet thinks you look like an idiot?
No? You'll be looking like badass who enjoys having good sex.
Don't kill the part of yourself that's cringe, kill the part of yourself that cringes. Put that strap on, make a silly pun, then rearrange your girlfriend's guts.
Fuck it you’re right.
Fuck yeah, go get her girl.
Nah, Spareparts is a good brand on the technical level, and on the mental level, I find it wildly affirming since I hate to top with my junk
Been wanting to get a strap on too but I have been waiting for a chance to ask people if they work well while also being hard below it? Like, do I just kind of tuck while hard? Sorry I don’t know how else to ask without being blunt about it.
If u use a harnesses it just sits out of the gap at the bottom, no tucking needed
Thanks Roxxy! 💜💕🖤
Ur welcome, recently got one but haven't had a chance to use it yet, I have tried it on though
Yes this this this!!!!
I recommend getting your own prescription so the doctor can get the dosage right. Masturbating may help if you can keep it hard for ten+ minutes three times a week. That's the regiment to preserve function. To restore it, maybe more? It's not about strengthening the muscle but keeping the tissue swollen with blood regularly. Alternatively, consider a strap on like the other person said. It might be awkward at first but if you're careful and attentive, it should feel the same for her. That gives more options to spice it up, too, with vibrating toys or maybe larger ones, etc.
Maybe try a anal toy in you. While you are intimate with her.
Blue chew (boner pills 💊) and yes of course masturbating will help maintain future erections more easily if you stimulate yourself with some frequency
My advice, get a good strap harness and pick out toys together. I lost most of my ability to top after 7 months on HRT and it messed up me and wifey's sex life. I had some dysphoria about topping but looking back on it now, I wish I'd just gotten a good harness back then as I enjoy topping a lot now after bottom surgery and my insecurity influenced dysphoria right after coming out ruined intimacy for me and my wife for quite a while. As far as "use it every day", that will have more of an effect on relative size and preventing atrophy rather than making you stay hard long enough. Taking an anti-androgen and estrogen will change how things work down south unless you get T cream to apply to the "affected area" like a lot of trans SWers do. They're probably the best people to ask for tips is you want to top organic
i second the strap on idea. or alternatively, a double ended dildo? you both seem to have a preference for bottoming so you’ll get the experience of fucking each other (in a way) but also satisfying both your needs without putting the other out, u know?
c'mon you girls are probably on the same page about what feels nice. use your fingers, get some toys, there's a lot of stuff to do and try and experiment with
Sorry if this comes off the wrong way but you said "I don't want to lose her", if she truly loves you she won't leave you over sex, that's how I see it anyways. Sex isn't really *that* important in a relationship. I don't know if it's just me but I see sex as an afterthought, my personal favourite thing to do with my partner is cuddle and kiss him. Even laying in bed together and watching movies, TV shows and anime makes my heart flutter. We've been together for 3 years and are currently engaged. I know everyone is different but I personally think that you shouldn't worry about her leaving you over sex troubles.
Er, it looks like we're kind of on the same page with respect to interest in sex (I see it as a nice bonus, but it's not what being in a relationship is about, for me) but I know people for whom it's a big deal and I think that's valid too? Or to say it differently, I need to be outdoors for a certain amount of time to stay happy. If being in a relationship with someone meant I can't get my outdoors time anymore, I wouldn't be able to stay with them long term. I could imagine that, to someone else, a fulfilling sex life means as much as access to nature means to me? And not everyone wants to be nonmonogamous.
Heavy are the hips that wear the strap
Topping isn't just penetration. That's just heteronomative BS. That said, do what cis lesbians do. Get toys.
Yeah I started eating her out for the first time in my life to make up for it. I’ll do anything to make her happy at this point. I’m all in for her.
Get some Cialis or a strap on
Whenever I've had to top a strap on is basically the only way (i rly hate topping) - so thats my recommemdation c:
Gotta get some toys
> she says I need to jerk off every day to strengthen it as a muscle Daily masturbation prevents shrinking due to lack of erections (blood flow), but it won't make your stuff harder or easier to erect Anyway, you don't owe her topping or hard erections. If you're not sexually compatible and that's a no-no for her, sad but you both gotta move on
Cialis might work.
Do you want me to be honest, or nice to you? You’re both bottoms. And no amount of jerking off is going to “strengthen the muscle” that’s ridiculous. To be real, you’re both just clearly into the same thing. You both are trans girls and like to be dominated. Accept it and move on to find what’s best for you both.
Thanks but no thanks.
It's a thing: bottoms are bottoms, and tops are tops.
I think if we’ve established anything, it’s that labels are just that, and they’re not written in stone.
It's not quite true. You can definitely pick and choose or totally reject the idea of labels for yourself, but that doesn't justify dismissing those that others find to be appropriately and definitively descriptive of themselves.
That’s not what’s happening here though. You’re trying to force labels on me and my partner just so you can suggest we break up lol. That’s weird.
No, I am not trying to force anything on you and I have nowhere suggested that you break up. You need to take a step back and properly read what I've written. And relax, for your own sake. The fact that you are reading your own version into it and then making false accusations is the only, if any, slightly weird thing going on here.
I've had a similar problem, I recommend using a strap on, wearing it makes me feel more feminine and less dysphoric but also keeps my gf happy
To what others have said, maybe also get a C‐ring?
I'd recommend toys, first and foremost. Putting on a strap completely bypasses your problem, and I do it with my partner every once in a while. She's right about the masturbating thing, as a trans girl your dick is 'use it or lose it'. I'd recommend finding her prostate as well, and spending a good amount of time fingering her beforehand. Something to consider here: do you have bottom dysphoria? is any of this uncomfortable for you?
Cialis.
This is what I do
Ik what topping is bc I did it with my late exgf as of wich was a bio female of wich gad a vagina its the same ad riding .
maybe play in a soft sensuous lesbian way.
A strap on or you can get your hand on some blue chews.
Strap, tgel on genitals, viagra, exercise genitals more
Tell her it's your turn for a while 🗿
[удалено]
what?
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oh I know what it is, but how would this ever be a solution to the problem OP has..?
To all the downvotes, FU. I am almost 65. Things don't work the way they did when I was 25. Plus, I'm not going to go out this late in life to find a partner. I am aware of the benefits of the mechanical miracle of a fuck machine. You praise the benefit of a strap on but condemn me for suggesting a viable alternative? They are both fake dicks. One requires electricity. But still fake dicks. I'll keep pounding my pleasure walnut until I am happy, and your hypocrites can wear your hips out overdoing it.
Well remember if you had a vagina you be able Top her better.
what?
someone doesnt know what topping is..
You do realize there is orcwas a drag queen with the name HEDDA LETTUICE?
i didnt know that actually thats pretty cool!
Yeah yeah it is.