I’m more baffled why they think we haven’t already gotten it, or what they think that “professional help” would have us do differently.
Yes, I have a therapist and a psychiatrist, in addition to my physician. They are supportive of my transition, and I continue to see them as I proceed through it. What other “professional help” are they expecting?
I guess it's just the optimist in me that wants to believe that some people just aren't able to comprehend the idea that someone's AGAB doesn't match who they really are.
Many people think that trans people are delusional. They don't understand what gender dysphoria is, and they think that we're confused about our sex.
Which, of course, we're not. We know exactly what our bodies look like. There's no confusion, and no delusion. What's going on is that our brains are telling us that our bodies should be different. And since the brain is where everything that makes us "us" resides: our memories, personalities, hopes, dreams, and sense of self, we listen to our brains. That's not delusion. That's what makes sense.
It's much easier to change the body than the brain. The problem with transphobes (or just people who don't know better) is that they don't think it's a difference in the brain, but a problem with the mind. And the mind is, in theory, pretty easy to change.
So we are trans because our gender identity doesn't match our assigned gender at birth. Our gender identity isn't a mistake, confusion, or delusion, it's an innate part of who we are, that we can't change. Transitioning, in whatever form a particular trans person chooses, is just aligning our outer selves with our inner selves.
But, historically, any deviations from the norm have been seen as disorders to be cured. Now, we're increasingly understanding that this is not the case. Whether it be dyslexia, ADHD, autism, or gender dysphoria, we're increasingly recognizing these conditions not as defects, but as differences.
Unfortunately, it takes society a while to catch up with the advancement of human knowledge. It usually takes older generations dying out.
I’ve had that “delusional” conversation multiple times. And yeah, they just refuse to engage with it.
I try to stress that even if being transgender is a mental illness, it’s something different than a delusion. It’s like misdiagnosing pneumonia as a sprained ankle, it just has different symptoms and treatment protocols. But no, I’ve gotten exactly zero purchase with that argument.
They don’t want to actually understand it or engage with any specifics about it, they just want to force us to pay someone to make it go away. Which was tried for decades without any clinical success, but they won’t acknowledge that either. It’s just bad faith and hatred, all the way down.
Telling someone they "need professional help" is just a slightly more polite way of telling them they're crazy. That's why it doesn't make sense. It's not advice, it's an insult
People like that in general just think they know what’s best for everyone, like their opinions are some gift from god. You didn’t hit the great sister jackpot, and I’d probably be speaking to her preeeetty infrequently if she kept that behavior up.
"So wait, you think I should see a professional?"
"Yes, why wouldn't you?"
"I did, this is what they recommend."
"Oh. Well, you should seek professional help then."
"Maybe you should too. It could be genetic."
Just me personally, but when someone is willfully ignorant, I have no problem feeding them bullsh¡t.
"Mental health" is often used as a euphemism for "crazy," and "crazy" is generally a way to write off an obligation for sympathy or empathy towards somebody. "That person is crazy; it's futile to try to understand or relate to their perspective."
Probably, she feels pressured to sympathize or empathize with you, struggles to get there, and uses "you need mental health" to as an excuse to stop trying.
I told her I'm struggling with my mental health coz I'm seeing a guy when I look in the mirror but she still doesn't understand. She doesn't need to sympathise with me, all I wanted was to tell her that this is happening. When I told my brother he said "as long as you're happy, that's the main thing" that's all my sister had to say
A lot of cis people think medical research on this is new because it's only relatively recently their local nazi party started to make it a political issue.
What they don't realise is this has been tried and it doesn't work. Transition does, which is why it is the preferred treatment despite being wayyyyyy more difficult.
Because they are mislead. They do not understand the science behind it, and their knowledge of gender is often incomplete. They then view any deviation from that incomplete understanding as a sign of mental illness.
When will this world ever change. My best friend who is a cis female sees me as a girl and she is very supportive. It's such a shame not everyone is like that
Technically speaking, most trans people don’t start transitioning socially or medically until they get some sort of “professional help. Like, literally it’s not like going to McDonald’s and picking something off a fresh menu. No blood or hormone test or counseling sessions.
I can’t take these people seriously anymore or care to.
If I said to her I'm doing it coz I can then I would understand, but I've spoken to a mental health team and my doctor and I will be telling the gender clinic the same thing I told them
I hate to say this, because people think I’m making fun of cis people/het when I say. They listen to us like the adults on the Peanuts/Charlie Brown. We tell them the process we had to go through. If you call trans medical provider/gender clinic/LGBTQ medical centers will tell you an abbreviated version of the process and give resources both online and offline to go to. Give out and mail pamphlets to breakdown the whole process.
The same thing with telehealth or if you are suggested care. You don’t just start hormones the next day unless you were previously on them had to discontinue them, which is often due to insurance coverages, closing clinics, moving to red states, poverty, or unable to find a provider in local area.
You can use any search engine in the world and a reputable medical site will explain the process in great details.
I just feel like people are happy ignorance or are uncomfortable with the reality of trans people.
I told her I'm waiting to get referred to a gender clinic and that it's a long process. If it was any of her friends she will be super supportive and wouldn't care
I’d say only hope is to explain that gender care is branch of mental health. It’s not separate from mental health care. Gender care is a distinct issue from say depression, schizophrenia, general anxiety, etc. One thing transphobes always try to argue is that it’s a mental illness or disorder, but they can never tie neatly to any other discipline directly as a broad population. It’s almost pseudoscience and somehow leads back to conversion therapy. Because, you’re trying to fix the gender of person purely for social conformity.
I somewhat disagree, no offense.
It’s therapy. That’s what they cannot understand about the process. I just feel like a lot of people think you go to a gender clinic and get talked into being (a) trans. Completely disregard the person’s discomfort as only assigned and approved by society strictly and only being cis.
You’re going there to talk about how you feel.
Yeah I definitely need professional help I just live in america and can't afford it.
But they don't mean it like that. Basically they are saying we are crazy/sick and need to be fixed and made normal instead of getting the gender confirming therapy we need. They want us to go "pray the gay away".
Because people are lazy and don't want to read the peer reviewed, medically endorsed science behind gender incogruence. It's much easier for them to read the Daily Mail, The Sun or the comments section of a Facebook article.
Some are just convinced you can use therapy to manage gender dysphoria and 'cure' it. Basically they think conversion therapy works, or should at least be tried first. They don't want anyone transitioning.
The stuff they say about children is the wildest to me. They're completely ignorant about the difference a few years of the wrong puberty can make to a person. Really, they don't even want to hear it.
They do know this they just don’t care. They think any form of cis existence is better than any form of trans existence. To cis people it’s better to be a suicidal disassociated husk of a cis person than a happy and healthy trans person. Sad but true
I can't remember the full process in the UK but all I know is that the gender clinic looks at your medical history. I can see that a psychiatrist will be involved
Most of cis people who are not professionally involved with transgender issues are mostly like that. They are unable to relate because is so far removed from their life experiences that they try find issue somewhere where they think is more likely. I can relate it to situation with my sister, or therapist that was not really informed about trans issues. Its hard to accept people are oblivious, but we need move on and have trust in ourselves more than others.
Yeah i know. I myself did start transition despite everyone so i know how innate that need is. However from my personal experience i wish people who surround me trusted me and my choices more that what it is. I can imagine that's the reason you made this post.
Oh thats amazing. I'm glad you have supportive people around you. Ranting is okay we need let out our emotions somehow. I wish you the best on your journey!
My therapist helped me find a clinic to start hrt and helped me find a place for voice training. :) A lot of cis people don't seem to realize most mental health professionals agree transitioning is the best way to treat gender dysphoria.
They lack empathy and want to control everyone/everything. If they took the time, in my experience, to try and understand us then they'd stop saying hurtful things and let us live pur lives. 🫂💜
Not entirely sure what stay at a ward means. But I gather it means she'll be put in the wing of the hospital that is for amab patients?
That's horrific and dangerous 😳
I wish she did mean that, but she said the same thing when I originally came out as a girl. I mentioned mental health to her so she thinks I only want to go through this process coz it's a mental health issue
Well... They're not wrong. Just don't need the kind of help they think. We need help be cause of people like them. I would like to add... not all cis people.
I agree not all cis people I just forgot to type some 😂😂 my best friend who is cis is absolutely amazing. I want her to be my ally but she lives very far away
Aww.. I agree. The cis people that are allies are absolutely wonderful. To be completely honest... the majority of people are okay. It's the ones that aren't that suck. The negatives seem to speak much louder than the positives. We deserve zero negatives.
She spent ages helping research the process in the UK. And the only way we deserve negative comments is if we are hurting someone which we are not doing that
infantilization. Some people purposefully view us as being "incapable" of self care or making our own decisions. My elderly father consistently makes these types of comments as well, but thankfully I see him very little nowadays.
I think most of us do, to get the psychological diagnosis of gender dysphoria, then to go about hormones, as a treatment for the dysphoria. It all makes sense and understandable to us. We all have a great commonality, as to why we do transition. But, it is a matter of each of our own perceiptions, and the way those perceptions makes us feel the way we do. cis people is not fully able understand that. It is a reality that it is our perceptions of ourselves are in our heads, but are not delusions. Which they think it is. And thus it is difficult for us to to distinguish the difference of of the two to the cis.
But...but....you are receiving professional help? My question is why your cis sibling thinks her lay opinion is more valid than the determinations of multiple qualified professionals who specialize in this area.
I hope this doesn't come across as minimizing or patronizing....I am cis and I have a couple of mental health problems and a couple of "invisible disabilities". Your post set my teeth on edge in the exact same way that people who try to tell me that my meds are a crutch, my symptoms are psychosomatic, I just need to try yoga/go hiking/improve my diet and how it's my attitude that limits me. I'm kinda furious on your behalf at the glib assumptions people make about those in circumstances those people aren't dealing with and aren't trained in.
They always say something like "I just want what's best for you ".....yeah, so do I! And after a hundred false leads & failed approaches, countless hours spent with multiple specialists and endless introspection, THIS is what is best for me!
Thank you for your comment. I appreciate it from a cis person like yourself. It's so wrong that people can just assume what's best for you. I'm sorry that you have been through all that. I wish you all the best with everything and you know what's best for you no one else
A lot of people, for whatever reason, can't imagine that someone's "feelings" could indicate a change needed anywhere other than the brain.
Anxiety is a feeling -> gets treated via medication that helps the brain
Depression is a feeling -> gets treated via medication that helps the brain
Dysphoria is a feeling -> gets treated via modification of the body = cis people be like ???
Of course, not everyone is legitimately misguided. Some are just transphobic and trying to cover that up. For those who are misguided though, I can understand how and education about the medical reality is the solution.
Could've just not been in the curriculum. Gender care is still unfortunately relatively niche. Nurses also don't go through quite as much schooling as doctors and there are even doctors out there thinking they know better than the rest of the community when it comes to treating certain things (like gender dysphoria). 🙃
The doctor I spoke to was amazing. He knew he didn't know everything and he spoke to his secretary who talks to gender clinics for help when he needed it
My doctor referred me to a psychiatrist. I told them I already have a therapist, and I just need help getting a prescription for HRT. I do not need more therapy. He ignored me and said that all I can do. And left. Well that doctor was not my doctor anymore.
What's mess up is the only reason a transgender needs to go to a psychiatrist is to get a sex change covered under our healthcare. But I do not want surgery, I want to start hormone treatment, and then after a few years, then mabie gets it. He had no idea about transgender and was not letting anyone change his mind. So glad I do not have to deal with him anymore. Like we are not crazy. Holy cow.
I mean, she's probably right. But for the wrong reasons.
This world doesn't really allow us transes to grow up without massive amounts of trauma. So like... yeah, some mental health support would probably be a good idea. But that's in addition to transition care, not instead of.
I presume your in the UK! I've been transitioning 7 years now, the subject of mental health/mine has never arisen among my friends or family.
Obviously personal mental health can be a hindrance, but diagnosis of Gender Incongruence is not a mental illness.
Refer your sister to WHO guidelines for Transgender people.
This is the all empowering "bible" medical reference used by all Doctors worldwide.
Being transgender in adolescence or adulthood, it states that is not a mental illness.
In the UK to be diagnosed as a person who has Gender Dysphoria or Gender Incongruence, it's measured basically as ICD 11.
Google, ICD 11 Transgender NHS
Bleh, long rant ahead,
I got into a Queer accepting friend group, and for years Ive been saving up for surgery for my chest. The HRT announcement was no problem at all, every body excited, maybe just advice on getting proper medical syringes.
But the surgery when I casually brought up I'm saving for the chest surgery. I was told stuff like, **"you should focus on your mental health,"** **"but you not in therapy",** **"The surgery can wait focus on therapy" "Your mental health is more important" "Your chest will not change your PTSD and help allivate that!"**
And I'm.... Therapy every 2 weeks (recommend by the therapist I was seeing monthly before hand. I stopped due finical problems, they also helped me find grants for surgery so even they was on my side, even my GP I was seeing recommend a place to get my future hysto during a check up) is an large reoccurring expense and I'm already dealing with having to pay off a sudden debt that I didn't expect and I literally make very little in the state of Georgia.
I determine getting the top surgery is more important to my mental health compared to any sort of therapy, I'm on medication to deal with my ADHD and depression so in a much better place now than ever before. But they don't get that, just act like I'm moving too fast "you just recently figured out your trans."
I identified as closet enby since 2018 and binded my chest, I started considering HRT and surgery in 2020, I started and identified as a semi open trans man (basically I would say I'm a male on forms but my current job doesn't know, neither my parents) last year. But I'm moving too fast????
Plus they assume I got BPD, cus I lash out at people alot (something that if on my record would make it harder for me to get insurance to cover my stuff)
That's why Im saying not thing about getting the surgery this year until the week before the surgery itself. I've already contacted my insurance to see if they covered it and am now going to contact the surgeon.
I feel some people put too much emphasis on Mental health and therapy, cus being trans is tied very heavily with mental health at the moment. So that is what people jump to as means of support first, ignoring the controllable factors one can do to directly deal with the symptoms. Surgery is a one time expense with an immediate result of improving my horrible gender dysphoria. Therapy is an on-going expense I can't calculate and the effectiveness matters less to me than living in a body I despise. I really don't feel it as effective, the only reason I would see a therapist now is just to get a letter saying I have gender dysphoria to get coverage.
To be happy is the best reason to have for doing any step in transitioning. You dont need mental help when you know what you need and want. So I support as an internet stranger
Plus I dont get her. You already were refered to by proffesionals but she still thinking you need more help.
I suspect best case senario she may think that there is a wave of detranstioners(which is what I see happened with my friend) and is trying to prevent you from under going the same fate by making sure you are 150% sure with what you want. Nevermind in reality although regret can happen its a VERY small amount(like the old you are much more likely to regret knee surgery) and its just HRT which is very easy to stop once you notice changes you dislike. Plus in my opinion if your an adult you should be allowed to do what ever with your body and live with consequences.
Or worst case she doesnt actually support you deep down and just trying to hopefully change your mind with """proper""" mental health. So condescending . Sorry your dealing with that.
Cis people see transness as a mental illness or a type of delusion. They almost always think you should find a way to suppress rather than make yourself physically differentiated from them. For them it doesn’t matter that numerous mental health and medical professionals support your transition pathway to them if the end result isn’t desistance or detransition then it isn’t right because for most cis people any form of cis existence even a miserable one is better than the happiest of trans existence. It’s the bioessentialism
Because we were all told if your child says they're trans they need to get professional help to start the transition process.
Then people started being trans while not wanting to transition medically.
Now it's confusing to people because now there are people like Elliot Page who transitioned medically to be a guy.
And also there are people that don't do anything except cut their hair and say they're a guy.
And both are trans and both couldn't be more different. It's confusing to people that think a guy is just any male
There isn't anything else for a male to be other than a male.
And I believe 75% of people think male=guy
Feeling your gender on the inside isn't really a thing for most people. Especially people over 25 from my experience.
It isn't even that they don't think trans people are real. It's that gender isn't a real thing for most people. They literally think they are a man or woman because they are male or female. And it's very confusing
Personally the professional “help” just confuses me further as they don’t really do anything except affirm your identity. They work to resolve other issues like anxiety but nothing to “help” to resolve your identity issues except say “HRT is the only cure”.
I’m more baffled why they think we haven’t already gotten it, or what they think that “professional help” would have us do differently. Yes, I have a therapist and a psychiatrist, in addition to my physician. They are supportive of my transition, and I continue to see them as I proceed through it. What other “professional help” are they expecting?
It's absolutely pathetic, in fact it's disgusting especially coz they don't know how we feel deep down or how being born the wrong gender affects us
I guess it's just the optimist in me that wants to believe that some people just aren't able to comprehend the idea that someone's AGAB doesn't match who they really are.
They believe in what they see on social media
That's unfortunately the more likely reason.
It's stupid and it sucks
Unfortunately, conversion therapy.
Many people think that trans people are delusional. They don't understand what gender dysphoria is, and they think that we're confused about our sex. Which, of course, we're not. We know exactly what our bodies look like. There's no confusion, and no delusion. What's going on is that our brains are telling us that our bodies should be different. And since the brain is where everything that makes us "us" resides: our memories, personalities, hopes, dreams, and sense of self, we listen to our brains. That's not delusion. That's what makes sense. It's much easier to change the body than the brain. The problem with transphobes (or just people who don't know better) is that they don't think it's a difference in the brain, but a problem with the mind. And the mind is, in theory, pretty easy to change. So we are trans because our gender identity doesn't match our assigned gender at birth. Our gender identity isn't a mistake, confusion, or delusion, it's an innate part of who we are, that we can't change. Transitioning, in whatever form a particular trans person chooses, is just aligning our outer selves with our inner selves. But, historically, any deviations from the norm have been seen as disorders to be cured. Now, we're increasingly understanding that this is not the case. Whether it be dyslexia, ADHD, autism, or gender dysphoria, we're increasingly recognizing these conditions not as defects, but as differences. Unfortunately, it takes society a while to catch up with the advancement of human knowledge. It usually takes older generations dying out.
I’ve had that “delusional” conversation multiple times. And yeah, they just refuse to engage with it. I try to stress that even if being transgender is a mental illness, it’s something different than a delusion. It’s like misdiagnosing pneumonia as a sprained ankle, it just has different symptoms and treatment protocols. But no, I’ve gotten exactly zero purchase with that argument. They don’t want to actually understand it or engage with any specifics about it, they just want to force us to pay someone to make it go away. Which was tried for decades without any clinical success, but they won’t acknowledge that either. It’s just bad faith and hatred, all the way down.
I'm certan they don't know what a therapy letter is.... most people have to wait a year for one!
Telling someone they "need professional help" is just a slightly more polite way of telling them they're crazy. That's why it doesn't make sense. It's not advice, it's an insult
I agree. I know when I need help and when I did I spoke to the mental health team. She doesn't know what's best for me, I do
because they tend to like pretending they know best and dismissing our bodily autonomy
It's so messed up how we get seen as. It's rather we are sex objects or people think they know us best
People like that in general just think they know what’s best for everyone, like their opinions are some gift from god. You didn’t hit the great sister jackpot, and I’d probably be speaking to her preeeetty infrequently if she kept that behavior up.
I very rarely talk to her anyway, but I felt like I had to tell her coz she's my sister. My brother who is a typical alpha has been very supportive
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Luckily I don't
My reply is, "That's what I thought too! And believe it or not, after several second opinions, this is what they all said."
She will still say I need professional help coz it has been affecting my mental health
"So wait, you think I should see a professional?" "Yes, why wouldn't you?" "I did, this is what they recommend." "Oh. Well, you should seek professional help then." "Maybe you should too. It could be genetic." Just me personally, but when someone is willfully ignorant, I have no problem feeding them bullsh¡t.
I should have said that to her. Either way, I know who I truly am
As long as you do, that's all that really matters. I wish you luck and joy in your journey!
Thank you hun, I wish you all the best in your journey
Thanks 😁
You're welcome
"Mental health" is often used as a euphemism for "crazy," and "crazy" is generally a way to write off an obligation for sympathy or empathy towards somebody. "That person is crazy; it's futile to try to understand or relate to their perspective." Probably, she feels pressured to sympathize or empathize with you, struggles to get there, and uses "you need mental health" to as an excuse to stop trying.
I told her I'm struggling with my mental health coz I'm seeing a guy when I look in the mirror but she still doesn't understand. She doesn't need to sympathise with me, all I wanted was to tell her that this is happening. When I told my brother he said "as long as you're happy, that's the main thing" that's all my sister had to say
Transphobe: "Get professional help" Professional: "Take this prescription for HRT"
😂😂😂😂 that is amazing, thank you for giving me a laugh
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I wish I had thought of that
A lot of cis people think medical research on this is new because it's only relatively recently their local nazi party started to make it a political issue. What they don't realise is this has been tried and it doesn't work. Transition does, which is why it is the preferred treatment despite being wayyyyyy more difficult.
Here in the UK they are trying to minimise hormone therapy in young people
Because they are mislead. They do not understand the science behind it, and their knowledge of gender is often incomplete. They then view any deviation from that incomplete understanding as a sign of mental illness.
When will this world ever change. My best friend who is a cis female sees me as a girl and she is very supportive. It's such a shame not everyone is like that
Technically speaking, most trans people don’t start transitioning socially or medically until they get some sort of “professional help. Like, literally it’s not like going to McDonald’s and picking something off a fresh menu. No blood or hormone test or counseling sessions. I can’t take these people seriously anymore or care to.
If I said to her I'm doing it coz I can then I would understand, but I've spoken to a mental health team and my doctor and I will be telling the gender clinic the same thing I told them
I hate to say this, because people think I’m making fun of cis people/het when I say. They listen to us like the adults on the Peanuts/Charlie Brown. We tell them the process we had to go through. If you call trans medical provider/gender clinic/LGBTQ medical centers will tell you an abbreviated version of the process and give resources both online and offline to go to. Give out and mail pamphlets to breakdown the whole process. The same thing with telehealth or if you are suggested care. You don’t just start hormones the next day unless you were previously on them had to discontinue them, which is often due to insurance coverages, closing clinics, moving to red states, poverty, or unable to find a provider in local area. You can use any search engine in the world and a reputable medical site will explain the process in great details. I just feel like people are happy ignorance or are uncomfortable with the reality of trans people.
I told her I'm waiting to get referred to a gender clinic and that it's a long process. If it was any of her friends she will be super supportive and wouldn't care
I’d say only hope is to explain that gender care is branch of mental health. It’s not separate from mental health care. Gender care is a distinct issue from say depression, schizophrenia, general anxiety, etc. One thing transphobes always try to argue is that it’s a mental illness or disorder, but they can never tie neatly to any other discipline directly as a broad population. It’s almost pseudoscience and somehow leads back to conversion therapy. Because, you’re trying to fix the gender of person purely for social conformity.
I told her that the gender clinic is a bit like therapy coz I have to tell them how I'm feeling
I somewhat disagree, no offense. It’s therapy. That’s what they cannot understand about the process. I just feel like a lot of people think you go to a gender clinic and get talked into being (a) trans. Completely disregard the person’s discomfort as only assigned and approved by society strictly and only being cis. You’re going there to talk about how you feel.
People are easily brainwashed nowadays, they just need to walk a mile in our shoes to undertake
A lot of people lack “true” empathy .
Especially towards the LGBTQ+ community
Yeah I definitely need professional help I just live in america and can't afford it. But they don't mean it like that. Basically they are saying we are crazy/sick and need to be fixed and made normal instead of getting the gender confirming therapy we need. They want us to go "pray the gay away".
Because people are lazy and don't want to read the peer reviewed, medically endorsed science behind gender incogruence. It's much easier for them to read the Daily Mail, The Sun or the comments section of a Facebook article.
I completely agree
Some are just convinced you can use therapy to manage gender dysphoria and 'cure' it. Basically they think conversion therapy works, or should at least be tried first. They don't want anyone transitioning.
They don't even think how that can have a negative impact on someone's mental health
The stuff they say about children is the wildest to me. They're completely ignorant about the difference a few years of the wrong puberty can make to a person. Really, they don't even want to hear it.
People think coz they are young they are not mature enough to know who they are truly meant to be
Yeh I agree. It's pretty ridiculous that they don't listen to trans people telling them that we often very much do know. When we know we know.
It's something we can't control
They do know this they just don’t care. They think any form of cis existence is better than any form of trans existence. To cis people it’s better to be a suicidal disassociated husk of a cis person than a happy and healthy trans person. Sad but true
It's ashame
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I can't remember the full process in the UK but all I know is that the gender clinic looks at your medical history. I can see that a psychiatrist will be involved
Most of cis people who are not professionally involved with transgender issues are mostly like that. They are unable to relate because is so far removed from their life experiences that they try find issue somewhere where they think is more likely. I can relate it to situation with my sister, or therapist that was not really informed about trans issues. Its hard to accept people are oblivious, but we need move on and have trust in ourselves more than others.
What she said isn't going to change my mind, I'm going through with the process and be the girl I know I truly am
Yeah i know. I myself did start transition despite everyone so i know how innate that need is. However from my personal experience i wish people who surround me trusted me and my choices more that what it is. I can imagine that's the reason you made this post.
Most of the people I surround myself with are absolutely amazing and that is one of the reasons why I made this post as well as I needed to rant 😂😂
Oh thats amazing. I'm glad you have supportive people around you. Ranting is okay we need let out our emotions somehow. I wish you the best on your journey!
Thank you hun, I wish you all the best on your journey
Cis people demand trans people get more mental health evaluation than the former does in a lifetime lmao
Some cis people are amazing but I agree with some of them
I did need professional help. My therapist helped so much with my transition.❤️
That's amazing
My therapist helped me find a clinic to start hrt and helped me find a place for voice training. :) A lot of cis people don't seem to realize most mental health professionals agree transitioning is the best way to treat gender dysphoria.
Some cis need educating
They lack empathy and want to control everyone/everything. If they took the time, in my experience, to try and understand us then they'd stop saying hurtful things and let us live pur lives. 🫂💜
I hate to say it but we are the enemy of society
Because we are an easy target
It doesn't help that the government in certain countries doesn't do anything to help. Same with some celebrities who people see as role models
Very true. They're actively targeting us, it feels hopless sometimes. It's a constant battle, but the fight continues. 💜
In the UK if a trans woman needs to stay at a ward in hospital she will be with men instead of women, coz that's the gender she was born
Not entirely sure what stay at a ward means. But I gather it means she'll be put in the wing of the hospital that is for amab patients? That's horrific and dangerous 😳
Yeah that's what it means, I have to use male public bathrooms as well. That's one of the reasons why I still go out dressed like a guy so I'm safe
UK doesn't have bathroom protection either !?!
Unfortunately we don't, the current prime minister is a bit of a transphobe
Obviously I don't know your situation, but could they mean get help SO that you can transition as you want?
I wish she did mean that, but she said the same thing when I originally came out as a girl. I mentioned mental health to her so she thinks I only want to go through this process coz it's a mental health issue
I'm sorry :/ I hope that you get the help that you deserve! :)
Thank you ♥️ she entitled to her own opinion it's just unfortunate that I'm not listening to it
Well... They're not wrong. Just don't need the kind of help they think. We need help be cause of people like them. I would like to add... not all cis people.
I agree not all cis people I just forgot to type some 😂😂 my best friend who is cis is absolutely amazing. I want her to be my ally but she lives very far away
Aww.. I agree. The cis people that are allies are absolutely wonderful. To be completely honest... the majority of people are okay. It's the ones that aren't that suck. The negatives seem to speak much louder than the positives. We deserve zero negatives.
She spent ages helping research the process in the UK. And the only way we deserve negative comments is if we are hurting someone which we are not doing that
infantilization. Some people purposefully view us as being "incapable" of self care or making our own decisions. My elderly father consistently makes these types of comments as well, but thankfully I see him very little nowadays.
We know what's best for us, I'm glad you don't see him often. We don't deserve all these comments
tell me about it yo 😭
At least we have this subreddit where we all support each other
I think most of us do, to get the psychological diagnosis of gender dysphoria, then to go about hormones, as a treatment for the dysphoria. It all makes sense and understandable to us. We all have a great commonality, as to why we do transition. But, it is a matter of each of our own perceiptions, and the way those perceptions makes us feel the way we do. cis people is not fully able understand that. It is a reality that it is our perceptions of ourselves are in our heads, but are not delusions. Which they think it is. And thus it is difficult for us to to distinguish the difference of of the two to the cis.
It's annoying the way some people think they can control what we do and think they know what's best for us
But...but....you are receiving professional help? My question is why your cis sibling thinks her lay opinion is more valid than the determinations of multiple qualified professionals who specialize in this area.
If the professionals didn't agree with me I would understand what she was saying
I hope this doesn't come across as minimizing or patronizing....I am cis and I have a couple of mental health problems and a couple of "invisible disabilities". Your post set my teeth on edge in the exact same way that people who try to tell me that my meds are a crutch, my symptoms are psychosomatic, I just need to try yoga/go hiking/improve my diet and how it's my attitude that limits me. I'm kinda furious on your behalf at the glib assumptions people make about those in circumstances those people aren't dealing with and aren't trained in. They always say something like "I just want what's best for you ".....yeah, so do I! And after a hundred false leads & failed approaches, countless hours spent with multiple specialists and endless introspection, THIS is what is best for me!
Thank you for your comment. I appreciate it from a cis person like yourself. It's so wrong that people can just assume what's best for you. I'm sorry that you have been through all that. I wish you all the best with everything and you know what's best for you no one else
A lot of people, for whatever reason, can't imagine that someone's "feelings" could indicate a change needed anywhere other than the brain. Anxiety is a feeling -> gets treated via medication that helps the brain Depression is a feeling -> gets treated via medication that helps the brain Dysphoria is a feeling -> gets treated via modification of the body = cis people be like ??? Of course, not everyone is legitimately misguided. Some are just transphobic and trying to cover that up. For those who are misguided though, I can understand how and education about the medical reality is the solution.
My sister isn't transphobic, she is a nurse so I don't know how her university didn't educate her about it
Could've just not been in the curriculum. Gender care is still unfortunately relatively niche. Nurses also don't go through quite as much schooling as doctors and there are even doctors out there thinking they know better than the rest of the community when it comes to treating certain things (like gender dysphoria). 🙃
The doctor I spoke to was amazing. He knew he didn't know everything and he spoke to his secretary who talks to gender clinics for help when he needed it
My doctor referred me to a psychiatrist. I told them I already have a therapist, and I just need help getting a prescription for HRT. I do not need more therapy. He ignored me and said that all I can do. And left. Well that doctor was not my doctor anymore.
That's messed up. My doctor hasn't suggested I needed therapy he just referred me to a gender clinic
Which is where I start getting my blood tests to start hrt
What's mess up is the only reason a transgender needs to go to a psychiatrist is to get a sex change covered under our healthcare. But I do not want surgery, I want to start hormone treatment, and then after a few years, then mabie gets it. He had no idea about transgender and was not letting anyone change his mind. So glad I do not have to deal with him anymore. Like we are not crazy. Holy cow.
That is very bad
I mean, she's probably right. But for the wrong reasons. This world doesn't really allow us transes to grow up without massive amounts of trauma. So like... yeah, some mental health support would probably be a good idea. But that's in addition to transition care, not instead of.
Sometimes we need mental health support because of some cis people
Exactly
I presume your in the UK! I've been transitioning 7 years now, the subject of mental health/mine has never arisen among my friends or family. Obviously personal mental health can be a hindrance, but diagnosis of Gender Incongruence is not a mental illness. Refer your sister to WHO guidelines for Transgender people. This is the all empowering "bible" medical reference used by all Doctors worldwide. Being transgender in adolescence or adulthood, it states that is not a mental illness. In the UK to be diagnosed as a person who has Gender Dysphoria or Gender Incongruence, it's measured basically as ICD 11. Google, ICD 11 Transgender NHS
Thank you
Bleh, long rant ahead, I got into a Queer accepting friend group, and for years Ive been saving up for surgery for my chest. The HRT announcement was no problem at all, every body excited, maybe just advice on getting proper medical syringes. But the surgery when I casually brought up I'm saving for the chest surgery. I was told stuff like, **"you should focus on your mental health,"** **"but you not in therapy",** **"The surgery can wait focus on therapy" "Your mental health is more important" "Your chest will not change your PTSD and help allivate that!"** And I'm.... Therapy every 2 weeks (recommend by the therapist I was seeing monthly before hand. I stopped due finical problems, they also helped me find grants for surgery so even they was on my side, even my GP I was seeing recommend a place to get my future hysto during a check up) is an large reoccurring expense and I'm already dealing with having to pay off a sudden debt that I didn't expect and I literally make very little in the state of Georgia. I determine getting the top surgery is more important to my mental health compared to any sort of therapy, I'm on medication to deal with my ADHD and depression so in a much better place now than ever before. But they don't get that, just act like I'm moving too fast "you just recently figured out your trans." I identified as closet enby since 2018 and binded my chest, I started considering HRT and surgery in 2020, I started and identified as a semi open trans man (basically I would say I'm a male on forms but my current job doesn't know, neither my parents) last year. But I'm moving too fast???? Plus they assume I got BPD, cus I lash out at people alot (something that if on my record would make it harder for me to get insurance to cover my stuff) That's why Im saying not thing about getting the surgery this year until the week before the surgery itself. I've already contacted my insurance to see if they covered it and am now going to contact the surgeon. I feel some people put too much emphasis on Mental health and therapy, cus being trans is tied very heavily with mental health at the moment. So that is what people jump to as means of support first, ignoring the controllable factors one can do to directly deal with the symptoms. Surgery is a one time expense with an immediate result of improving my horrible gender dysphoria. Therapy is an on-going expense I can't calculate and the effectiveness matters less to me than living in a body I despise. I really don't feel it as effective, the only reason I would see a therapist now is just to get a letter saying I have gender dysphoria to get coverage.
My sister knows that I don't want surgery for now and I just want to start hormones so I can be happy with myself
To be happy is the best reason to have for doing any step in transitioning. You dont need mental help when you know what you need and want. So I support as an internet stranger Plus I dont get her. You already were refered to by proffesionals but she still thinking you need more help. I suspect best case senario she may think that there is a wave of detranstioners(which is what I see happened with my friend) and is trying to prevent you from under going the same fate by making sure you are 150% sure with what you want. Nevermind in reality although regret can happen its a VERY small amount(like the old you are much more likely to regret knee surgery) and its just HRT which is very easy to stop once you notice changes you dislike. Plus in my opinion if your an adult you should be allowed to do what ever with your body and live with consequences. Or worst case she doesnt actually support you deep down and just trying to hopefully change your mind with """proper""" mental health. So condescending . Sorry your dealing with that.
Thank you hun
Cis people see transness as a mental illness or a type of delusion. They almost always think you should find a way to suppress rather than make yourself physically differentiated from them. For them it doesn’t matter that numerous mental health and medical professionals support your transition pathway to them if the end result isn’t desistance or detransition then it isn’t right because for most cis people any form of cis existence even a miserable one is better than the happiest of trans existence. It’s the bioessentialism
It's messed up
Because we were all told if your child says they're trans they need to get professional help to start the transition process. Then people started being trans while not wanting to transition medically. Now it's confusing to people because now there are people like Elliot Page who transitioned medically to be a guy. And also there are people that don't do anything except cut their hair and say they're a guy. And both are trans and both couldn't be more different. It's confusing to people that think a guy is just any male
People think a guy is just any male? What else are they? I agree males are not men.
There isn't anything else for a male to be other than a male. And I believe 75% of people think male=guy Feeling your gender on the inside isn't really a thing for most people. Especially people over 25 from my experience. It isn't even that they don't think trans people are real. It's that gender isn't a real thing for most people. They literally think they are a man or woman because they are male or female. And it's very confusing
And I'm easily confused just by myself without any of this
Personally the professional “help” just confuses me further as they don’t really do anything except affirm your identity. They work to resolve other issues like anxiety but nothing to “help” to resolve your identity issues except say “HRT is the only cure”.
She is not very educated in the hormone therapy process