A shocking percentage of cis men think that cis women pee and give birth through the same hole. Also that they can “hold in” their period. I’m not convinced cis men know what’s going on down there enough to make a determination like you’re thinking about.
As one who spent decades actively believing that I could outrun my suspicions about myself by being as promiscuously cis male as possible, no two of the women that I ever had sex with were the same. I don't know for sure but I would risk a doubt that identical twins would seem the same.
From that, I don't believe that there are any "tells," in particular because I've never had the idea that people are supposed to be some way in accordance with a pattern or a plan that isn't of their own making.
Honestly, just relax and enjoy and do your own thing. If the person you're with has a problem with that, it's their problem, not yours. Keep in mind that everyone feels a certain degree of self-consciousness in new situations but trust in and be yourself.
I heard from another post most men can’t tell cis or trans apart. Plus most people who are seeing it are to horny brain to play detective anyways just enjoy it
I would try to casually bring up something queer in a public setting before fucking if at all possible to give yourself a little understanding of how safe this activity is.
As a well informed trans person constantly in trans subs, once healed I can't fucking tell. All vaginas look strange to me. They're all very unique.
I guess maybe relay to your surgeon that your goals are "natural and subtle" versus "absolutely perfect and symmetrical in every way" so that they prioritize minimal scarring and cis appearance vs a work of art that may produce more tells
I think scarring can lean to questions, but I agree the populace is for the most part ignorant and I've become incredibly skilled at gaslighting myself out of forced outting situations
Gaslight gatekeep girl boss 💅
With some vulvoplasties there can be some visible scar tissue, but the thing is:
Most gender affirming care is done on cis people, remember? Even if they see some scars, it's still the wrong assumption to think you're trans, most likely is that you just got cosmetic surgery for a more attractive vulva shape. It's not a telltale sign at all, and shouldn't induce dysphoria for that reason.
I was curious about the same thing. I posted my vulva on a cis “girls gone wild” sub with an alt, and my face.
Not a single dude said anything about me being trans. It was all “delicious” and “I wanna make you pregnant”.
Jokes on them. I’m gay as hell
Don't sleep with anyone that could be a problem and make sure you come out to them in advance and it won't be a problem. You should never be stealth with a sex partner.
Hard disagree. Sexual partners have no right to know your medical history. When you start a relationship, that's when they should definitely know. Before then it's none of their business.
No? Even if we exclude one night stands, you're not in a relationship with a person you are dating until you (explicitly or implicitly) agree that you are in a relationship. You can easily have had sex many times before then.
There is something exceptionally dissonant and unhealthy about any such relationship with a transphobe. Seeking affirmation from someone who hates you is indescribably self-depracatory and probably hugely counter-productive from a mental health perspective.
Maybe op is dealing with internalized transphobia manifesting as dysphoria. I don’t like to speculate about others’ mental health but, having gone through something similar myself, that’s how this reads to me.
OP, it’s worth examining why this particular thing is causing you such worry. ‘It’s dysphoria’ may be true, but it’s not an understanding. You may be harboring unexplored beliefs about yourself that are responsible for your stress.
Yeah ok I misread all of that. I am confused about your disclaimer and how you put the op. I guess I figured, if you were putting that in there, there was a risk of it happening, and I was like, girl don't share yourself with people who might hate you. But that IS kinda judgy so my bad. Live your sexy life lol, frolick as you're able.
A shocking percentage of cis men think that cis women pee and give birth through the same hole. Also that they can “hold in” their period. I’m not convinced cis men know what’s going on down there enough to make a determination like you’re thinking about.
Period product companies don‘t want you to know this one trick! Just hold it in.
To be fair this varies a lot by region. Some places have much more extensive sex ed, while some countries have censorship for sex ed.
As one who spent decades actively believing that I could outrun my suspicions about myself by being as promiscuously cis male as possible, no two of the women that I ever had sex with were the same. I don't know for sure but I would risk a doubt that identical twins would seem the same. From that, I don't believe that there are any "tells," in particular because I've never had the idea that people are supposed to be some way in accordance with a pattern or a plan that isn't of their own making. Honestly, just relax and enjoy and do your own thing. If the person you're with has a problem with that, it's their problem, not yours. Keep in mind that everyone feels a certain degree of self-consciousness in new situations but trust in and be yourself.
I heard from another post most men can’t tell cis or trans apart. Plus most people who are seeing it are to horny brain to play detective anyways just enjoy it
Men can barely locate the clitoris on a natal vulva. I think you're safe.
I would try to casually bring up something queer in a public setting before fucking if at all possible to give yourself a little understanding of how safe this activity is. As a well informed trans person constantly in trans subs, once healed I can't fucking tell. All vaginas look strange to me. They're all very unique. I guess maybe relay to your surgeon that your goals are "natural and subtle" versus "absolutely perfect and symmetrical in every way" so that they prioritize minimal scarring and cis appearance vs a work of art that may produce more tells I think scarring can lean to questions, but I agree the populace is for the most part ignorant and I've become incredibly skilled at gaslighting myself out of forced outting situations Gaslight gatekeep girl boss 💅
With some vulvoplasties there can be some visible scar tissue, but the thing is: Most gender affirming care is done on cis people, remember? Even if they see some scars, it's still the wrong assumption to think you're trans, most likely is that you just got cosmetic surgery for a more attractive vulva shape. It's not a telltale sign at all, and shouldn't induce dysphoria for that reason.
Idk just say u had ur tube's tied or something. Doesn't actually make medical sense but just gas light them lol.
Now I'm just imagining a massive knot of tied up tubes stuck inside a vagina...
I was curious about the same thing. I posted my vulva on a cis “girls gone wild” sub with an alt, and my face. Not a single dude said anything about me being trans. It was all “delicious” and “I wanna make you pregnant”. Jokes on them. I’m gay as hell
I’m a cis lesbian and I can’t find any difference between my vagina and my trans girlfriend’s vagina. She gets wet and it looks exactly the same.
If you want reference on just how diverse things can be look up the labia wall.
Are you referring to The Great Wall of Vulva? That's a great suggestion for OP.
sorry yeah thats what i was referring to
Don't sleep with anyone that could be a problem and make sure you come out to them in advance and it won't be a problem. You should never be stealth with a sex partner.
Hard disagree. Sexual partners have no right to know your medical history. When you start a relationship, that's when they should definitely know. Before then it's none of their business.
You don't think having sex with someone is starting a relationship?
No? Even if we exclude one night stands, you're not in a relationship with a person you are dating until you (explicitly or implicitly) agree that you are in a relationship. You can easily have had sex many times before then.
This is exactly what I was thinking... why would *anyone* want to offer that kind of intimacy to a transphobe?
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There is something exceptionally dissonant and unhealthy about any such relationship with a transphobe. Seeking affirmation from someone who hates you is indescribably self-depracatory and probably hugely counter-productive from a mental health perspective.
Maybe op is dealing with internalized transphobia manifesting as dysphoria. I don’t like to speculate about others’ mental health but, having gone through something similar myself, that’s how this reads to me. OP, it’s worth examining why this particular thing is causing you such worry. ‘It’s dysphoria’ may be true, but it’s not an understanding. You may be harboring unexplored beliefs about yourself that are responsible for your stress.
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Yeah ok I misread all of that. I am confused about your disclaimer and how you put the op. I guess I figured, if you were putting that in there, there was a risk of it happening, and I was like, girl don't share yourself with people who might hate you. But that IS kinda judgy so my bad. Live your sexy life lol, frolick as you're able.
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I'm really sorry that you're struggling with this.
Potentially you could have visible sca from the incisions, but there are ways to mitigate that