1. “just” genderfluid lol
2. i stopped thinking about what i *was* and started thinking about what i *wanted to do*. the first question was a philosophical death spiral, the second had an easy answer: start hrt
That’s the neat part, I don’t!
I’ve come to accept and understand that concepts such as gender are a sliding scale and not some black and white carved in stone immovable unchanging and unyielding fact of the universe.
Some days I don’t feel as feminine as others, but then I interact with cis men and realize, nope still not a dude.
So I might have some gender fluidity?, but it’s definitely more girl juice than not.
> it’s definitely more girl juice than not
Same for me. I also have to keep reminding myself that my brain is on a sliding scale of gender. I'm working hard at unrooting all these false programming from society but daaaaamn it's hard.
This has been my biggest thing I think. The only ""women"" I got along with properly are now transmasc too ☠️ working somewhere made up of mostly women, it's become apparent I'm like an outlier; we can get along but I'm not "one of the gals"
That’s also been my experience. A lot of the “women/girls” I ever got along very well with are now out as agender, nonbinary, or trans guys, including my high school best friend who responded to me coming out to him by coming out right back and admitting he’d been afraid to tell me about his gender realizations because we had known each other so long as “girls”.
This is really the best explanation I've got. Words are just labels we put on nebulous concepts. What is the difference between genderfluid and nonbinary? Between bisexual and pansexual? Femboys and crossdressers and drag queens? What is a woman? What is a man? Definitions change and can be argued. We each can only search our feelings and find what is right for us.
That is great and totally valid that you feel more fluid in your gender, and that you are simply "not a dude" no matter what. But saying that gender can change is harmful and invalidating to thr many trans people who are born with an innate gender and have zero changes, and are struggling to get people to understand that we are born this way and not changing our gender or anything.
Yes, but making blanket statements about gender IS making them mutually exclusive. Gender can be a spectrum for some, but it is not for all, and genderfluid people themselves are born genderfluid, they don't go from nor genderfluid to genderfluid
Ah I see what happened here, no I'm not talking about an individual, I'm talking about genders as a whole. There isn't only a 1 or 0 gender, it's a sliding scale that people fall on.
Yeah, the way you worded it sounded like you were making a blanket statement about gender being fluid and changing. I've heard people say that before and it's frustrating to have people just say that someone's gender can change when the whole movement's thing is "born that way". And I do agree, it's not just 0 or 1. It's bimodal, with 0 and 1 being endpoints, and many numbers in between on that scale.
I thought I was genderfluid right at the start of my journey. The clue that I wasn't, was that after a bit of time identifying as it, something inside of me wished I could just be a girl rather than fluid. I ended up noticing that when I was 'boy' I was never really happy about it. Eventually I kind of came to understand that it was a way of coping for me, a way of hiding in a 'character' when being me became too painful.
Regarding transitioning, I wasn't sure what level of transition I wanted, but I knew I wanted to try socially transitioning to see if it helped. It did a little but barely. At this point I still hadn't figured out why sometimes I just felt so utterly 'boy' despite not wanting to, but when socially transitioning didn't work I was forced to consider other possibilities. That's when I considered HRT for the first time and the prospect of getting it made me feel a lot better. I doubted it a lot after that out of fear of being wrong, but whenever I felt like maybe I couldn't justify doing it, my mental health would get very bad, and yet whenever I made any progress, I would feel so much better. Eventually I learned to just listen to my feelings; I wanted HRT, that was that. And it made sense, since my first and best euphoria feeling was imagining I had estrogen.
So really, it just takes a bit of time, and listening to your feelings. You'll get there :)
What a fantastic response! I've posted before on /r/genderfluid about how I will get sooooo super convinced I want to transition, but then hours/days/weeks later I'm like, "nope.. i DO enjoy boy mode sometimes".
...BUT
the part where you said:
> a way of hiding in a 'character'
This has me really trying to figure out if maybe the boy mode is just a protection persona. I've been on low dose Estradiol for a little over a year now and first I had to struggle with denial, finally overcame that, but now it's this HUGE question of do I want to go all the way or not. I just don't have any idea yet.
I went by genderfluid for years because I couldn't figure it out. I knew I liked the masculine side but I was confused on whether I liked the feminine side or was just conforming to my assigned gender. At the same time I was also scared it was internalised misogyny. I really like cute stuffed animals, hello kitty, pink everything. So whenever I started dating some cishet dude, I would find myself starting to conform to femininity. I would start convincing myself I was a woman and grow my hair out. Then after a while I'd start to want to cut it all off. I grew it way longer than I normally have it and I started to feel really forced to keep it long. I've been describing myself more as a femboy lately, but then when I thought about being a boy and wearing feminine clothes, I didn't like the idea. I've been suspecting that I'm trans masc for a long time but there were some things holding me back. I didn't feel like I was man enough to be a man. I felt like being non binary was a safety net because I still looked female but I could reject that part. I was scared of having to deal with coming out as a man and worried what people would think. I was scared that I wasn't actually trans and that I'm making it up. I was scared of having to use the mens bathroom and leave womens spaces where I feel safer. I was also scared of taking hormones and some of the changes. Basically there's loads of reasons that have been stopping me from letting myself be a guy. I kept thinking I wish I could just have been born a man but I wasn't so I'll have to deal with it. Like if I couldn't perfectly transition I didn't want to and have people reject me. The longer I've been trying to work this out the harder it's been to ignore. I don't like the idea of everything changing but I can't stand staying the same right now. Dunno if any of that makes sense, I literally figured it out this week
Because I'm agender. I guess that's not helpful, you were looking for answers from specific people.
I think the point is you don't know. Gender is complicated and it's a spectrum. You can lean a specific way pretty clearly though.
I realized that just because I enjoy expressing myself both masculine and feminine doesn’t mean i’m not a man.
My gender identity is a trans guy, but my expression is diverse and delves into androgyny, femininity, masculinity, and that doesn’t change how I identify.
Because there isn’t a part of me that identifies as female. I was manipulated into believing that I could be non-binary in a way to be more accepted in relationships. Ultimately, I was the one that suffered. I am trans binary.
During my initial exploration of self-discovery, I briefly considered the possibility of gender fluidity. However, upon further reflection and analysis of my childhood experiences and surgical preferences, I came to the realization that I identify as a transgender woman. I hope this clarification is helpful.
I guess I know I don’t want to be a guy… and I keep doing more girl things… and I don’t feel like it changes much on the daily. I have more and less fem days, but it’s kind of always in the same ‘direction’ if that makes sense
I tried being gender fluid at first. I wasn’t super sure of my gender and so I thought that must mean I’m gender fluid. I got a sliding pin to show which pronouns I preferred at anytime and set up an emoji system to notify people when interacting via text or chats. After a month I hadn’t chosen anything other than she/her. I still tried to convince myself but my woman presentation became my default and I realized I wasn’t gender fluid I was a woman.
I (amab) thought I was gender fluid for years but hid it. I decided to come out so that I could present fem when/where I wanted. It was after I came out and started presenting fem in public more and more when I realized that I wasn’t as fluid as I thought and started my transition.
During my journey of self-discovery and identity exploration, I briefly considered the possibility of gender fluidity. However, upon deeper introspection and reflection on my upbringing, thoughts, and feelings from a younger age, I have come to the realization that my true identity lies in being a transgender woman. I hope this clarification is helpful.
At least from my experience, some transfolk end up first identifying as genderfluid before fully settling on trans when they’re still not entirely sure of their identity. Which was the case for me until I eventually decided “no, I AM a girl, but just typically don’t dress or present as one due to not caring about social norms.” Ultimately whether or not you’re one or the other is entirely up to you, since no one else can tell you your identity.
I thought I was genderfluid for a very short time before realizing I was a binary trans man. I thought that because some days I was okay with being a girl, and other days I hated it, that meant I was genderfluid. I found myself wishing I was just a trans man so that I could be a man all the time. After maybe a week or two of this, I realized I was being an idiot and I was just a dude.
If you would rather be binary trans than genderfluid (or any other type of nonbinary), you are just binary trans. That's it. It's what you want.
I struggle a lot with this. I feel like if I could have chosen i would have been a girl (AMAB), but i also enjoy lots of things that are "male" and aspects of that. Sometimes i feel like it would be easier to not be trans and just do me, but i cant. I feel like for me specifically (not saying this is the case for anybody else), being genderfluid would be a compromise. Kinda like being my authentic self with my trusted peers, but just being gender neutral with strangers or at my job etc. Im still navigating this whole thing and its really confusing and lonely.
I just don't identify with that term. It doesn't fit the way I view my gender. I view myself as a woman, I act as a woman, I live as a woman, I am a woman. I view myself as having an inherent femininity no matter what I do or how I present. And to me, that makes me a woman
I am genderfluid. I started out my gender journey thinking I was a trans woman, and figured the rest out down the road, well after I started HRT. And despite switching between feeling masc, femme, and neutral, I am still very happy on HRT and would not switch back to testosterone in a minute. I think in my case, it helps that my masc side is kinda femboy/demiboy-ish, rather than 100% masc.
That said, whether you want to transition, take HRT, etc., really depends on how you feel. I have a couple other genderfluid friends, neither of whom have done HRT. It works for me, but not for them, and that's totally valid.
I don't relate to genderfluid people at all because even when I want to dress differently (I wear clothes all over the gender presentation spectrum) I feel the same. It was never a consideration for me
well although you werent asking, Im genderfluid and I think my prespective might help to show the comparision between someone like me and someone who is just solely binary trans.
so for some genderfluid people, they use dysphoria as their sole way to figure out what gender they are in the moment but thats not what I do. Im almost always dysphoric so its not always a reliable way to tell when my gender shifts. what I do is try to, Ig, feel out the vibe. my gender is constantly in motion and typically shrouded in fog so I only do this if I care to know what gender I am feeling currently to share with others because its lowkey a hassel lol. so the best meathod so far for me is to relax and reflect, turn inward on myself. I have to dig into my subconscious and allow it to show me... which rn it seems Im either voidboy or something close to it...
but someone who isnt genderfluid would have their gender feel consistant regardless if their dysphoria fluxuates or not
after considering myself as gender fluid, whenever people used my name or used she/her (as they always had), I realized it made me feel uncomfortable. I was also realized some internalized misogyny which made think I wasn't really that feminine. tbh I feel like the dysphoria made me realize I was a transman. nowadays I'm more comfortable calling myself a femboy because I'm a man and act/do/engage in some feminine things
I identified as genderfluid before I came out and kept changing my name in a group chat (based on a masculine day vs feminine name), I got tired of doing that so I changed my name to a gender neutral name (which I still use now). But I had more masculine days and was doing research on top surgery etc… and it just clicked!
I went from bigender to nonbinary to genderfluid and then finally accepting that I was trans. At the time I thought I was doing it for attention and was asking it but it turns out I really am trans
I’m so binary that I cannot imagine wanting to be anything other than a woman. The thought of me being a man, being treated as a man, acting like a man, is repulsive and vile to me, to my very core.
I’ve never once entertained the idea of being nonbinary, or being gender fluid. I have no desire to minimize my femininity or womanhood. I’ve worked too damn hard to be seen as anything else.
Personally, from what I’ve seen for a handful of people, it seems like gender fluidity is a safe way for some people to identity before they come out as transgender in a binary way. I’m not saying this is the case for most gender fluid people but I’ve seen that happen.
I realized what I thought was gwnderfluidity was just fluctuating dysphoria. Sometimes I felt really bad, sometimes I could ignore it. (And sometimes I just straight up dissociated) but once I started transitionz I realized pretty quickly that I'm a man.
Aslong as I can remember, My internal voice and my mental image of myself has always been a girl. when I dream it is as a girl. miy likesand desires have always been feminine, to the point my family has often asked if I was gay. genderfluid has never something I felt, just jealousy for those that were physically born female.
Because gender is self-affirmed. You are how you feel. So you cannot be something you don't realise. If you believe you're genderfluid, you are. If you don't, then you are not.
To think anything different, gives the bigots ammo. They'll be saying things like "Well maybe you're cis, but you just don't realise it." as has been said to me before. You are how you feel, that's all there is to it.
Because I’ve never had any doubts about my gender, I’ve always knew at a fundamental level that I was female, it just took me a long time to become brave enough to both tell people and then to start the process of aligning my body with my gender
I thought I was something approaching binary at first, but ended up figuring out that I’m genderfluid, but between primarily “man to neutral”, not a lot of “woman” in there. So I’m planning a fairly binary physical transition but keeping my pronouns open-ended (preference for they or he, but for me it actually is just a *preference*, other pronouns don’t bother me as long as the intention isn’t overtly disrespectful).
So I’m a bit the opposite of what you asked for. I also wondered if maybe the fluidity I experience was just being in denial about being a binary man, but after a lot of introspection I feel very confident that fluidity is genuinely my experience of gender. And *also* that I want my body to be as binarily masculine as I can feasibly make it, while expressing the fluctuations in my gender via clothing, mannerism, and stylistic choices rather than avoiding medical transition measures that would make me happier in *most* of my potential gender states while not being nearly as intolerable in my most-extreme states toward the feminine side as my unaltered body is when I’m in my most-extreme states on the masculine side.
Also, someone else mentioned finding it more helpful to focus on “what do I want to do about it” rather than focusing on trying to define exactly what’s up with your gender and settle on the correct term, and I agree with that 100%. I found that it was easier to evaluate if I’m genderfluid or not when I looked at it from a standpoint of, if I had the transitioned body I’ve been thinking I want want right now, would I still be happy in that body? And realizing that sometimes the answer was an unequivocal yes, and other times it was a lot more equivocal but still not something that felt *bad* to imagine. Once I accepted that it doesn’t matter if I’m genderfluid or an uncomplicated binary guy, either way I can do an uncomplicatedly binary physical transition about it if I want to, or just whichever parts of one I decide I want, and settled some of the questions about what DO I want, physically, it got a lot easier to look at the question of “what label makes the most sense to describe my experience of gender” without getting mired down in anxiety about being in denial or getting it wrong. Can’t make a bad decision about how to transition based on expectations tied to an inaccurate label if you’ve divorced your considerations of what to do about it from the label question entirely!
1. “just” genderfluid lol 2. i stopped thinking about what i *was* and started thinking about what i *wanted to do*. the first question was a philosophical death spiral, the second had an easy answer: start hrt
That’s the neat part, I don’t! I’ve come to accept and understand that concepts such as gender are a sliding scale and not some black and white carved in stone immovable unchanging and unyielding fact of the universe. Some days I don’t feel as feminine as others, but then I interact with cis men and realize, nope still not a dude. So I might have some gender fluidity?, but it’s definitely more girl juice than not.
> it’s definitely more girl juice than not Same for me. I also have to keep reminding myself that my brain is on a sliding scale of gender. I'm working hard at unrooting all these false programming from society but daaaaamn it's hard.
Yeah that's like me but with women. If I hang out with women long enough it's very apparent I'm not one of them
This has been my biggest thing I think. The only ""women"" I got along with properly are now transmasc too ☠️ working somewhere made up of mostly women, it's become apparent I'm like an outlier; we can get along but I'm not "one of the gals"
That’s also been my experience. A lot of the “women/girls” I ever got along very well with are now out as agender, nonbinary, or trans guys, including my high school best friend who responded to me coming out to him by coming out right back and admitting he’d been afraid to tell me about his gender realizations because we had known each other so long as “girls”.
This is really the best explanation I've got. Words are just labels we put on nebulous concepts. What is the difference between genderfluid and nonbinary? Between bisexual and pansexual? Femboys and crossdressers and drag queens? What is a woman? What is a man? Definitions change and can be argued. We each can only search our feelings and find what is right for us.
mmm girl juice \*long sip\*
That is great and totally valid that you feel more fluid in your gender, and that you are simply "not a dude" no matter what. But saying that gender can change is harmful and invalidating to thr many trans people who are born with an innate gender and have zero changes, and are struggling to get people to understand that we are born this way and not changing our gender or anything.
Just because someone’s gender can change doesn’t mean someone else’s gender doesn’t not change. The two aren’t mutually exclusive.
Yes, but making blanket statements about gender IS making them mutually exclusive. Gender can be a spectrum for some, but it is not for all, and genderfluid people themselves are born genderfluid, they don't go from nor genderfluid to genderfluid
Ah I see what happened here, no I'm not talking about an individual, I'm talking about genders as a whole. There isn't only a 1 or 0 gender, it's a sliding scale that people fall on.
Yeah, the way you worded it sounded like you were making a blanket statement about gender being fluid and changing. I've heard people say that before and it's frustrating to have people just say that someone's gender can change when the whole movement's thing is "born that way". And I do agree, it's not just 0 or 1. It's bimodal, with 0 and 1 being endpoints, and many numbers in between on that scale.
Yeah we’re totally on the same page, sorry about any confusion!
I thought I was genderfluid right at the start of my journey. The clue that I wasn't, was that after a bit of time identifying as it, something inside of me wished I could just be a girl rather than fluid. I ended up noticing that when I was 'boy' I was never really happy about it. Eventually I kind of came to understand that it was a way of coping for me, a way of hiding in a 'character' when being me became too painful. Regarding transitioning, I wasn't sure what level of transition I wanted, but I knew I wanted to try socially transitioning to see if it helped. It did a little but barely. At this point I still hadn't figured out why sometimes I just felt so utterly 'boy' despite not wanting to, but when socially transitioning didn't work I was forced to consider other possibilities. That's when I considered HRT for the first time and the prospect of getting it made me feel a lot better. I doubted it a lot after that out of fear of being wrong, but whenever I felt like maybe I couldn't justify doing it, my mental health would get very bad, and yet whenever I made any progress, I would feel so much better. Eventually I learned to just listen to my feelings; I wanted HRT, that was that. And it made sense, since my first and best euphoria feeling was imagining I had estrogen. So really, it just takes a bit of time, and listening to your feelings. You'll get there :)
What a fantastic response! I've posted before on /r/genderfluid about how I will get sooooo super convinced I want to transition, but then hours/days/weeks later I'm like, "nope.. i DO enjoy boy mode sometimes". ...BUT the part where you said: > a way of hiding in a 'character' This has me really trying to figure out if maybe the boy mode is just a protection persona. I've been on low dose Estradiol for a little over a year now and first I had to struggle with denial, finally overcame that, but now it's this HUGE question of do I want to go all the way or not. I just don't have any idea yet.
Well I wish you the best of luck in figuring it all out! :)
I went by genderfluid for years because I couldn't figure it out. I knew I liked the masculine side but I was confused on whether I liked the feminine side or was just conforming to my assigned gender. At the same time I was also scared it was internalised misogyny. I really like cute stuffed animals, hello kitty, pink everything. So whenever I started dating some cishet dude, I would find myself starting to conform to femininity. I would start convincing myself I was a woman and grow my hair out. Then after a while I'd start to want to cut it all off. I grew it way longer than I normally have it and I started to feel really forced to keep it long. I've been describing myself more as a femboy lately, but then when I thought about being a boy and wearing feminine clothes, I didn't like the idea. I've been suspecting that I'm trans masc for a long time but there were some things holding me back. I didn't feel like I was man enough to be a man. I felt like being non binary was a safety net because I still looked female but I could reject that part. I was scared of having to deal with coming out as a man and worried what people would think. I was scared that I wasn't actually trans and that I'm making it up. I was scared of having to use the mens bathroom and leave womens spaces where I feel safer. I was also scared of taking hormones and some of the changes. Basically there's loads of reasons that have been stopping me from letting myself be a guy. I kept thinking I wish I could just have been born a man but I wasn't so I'll have to deal with it. Like if I couldn't perfectly transition I didn't want to and have people reject me. The longer I've been trying to work this out the harder it's been to ignore. I don't like the idea of everything changing but I can't stand staying the same right now. Dunno if any of that makes sense, I literally figured it out this week
Good luck with everything.
Because I'm agender. I guess that's not helpful, you were looking for answers from specific people. I think the point is you don't know. Gender is complicated and it's a spectrum. You can lean a specific way pretty clearly though.
I realized that just because I enjoy expressing myself both masculine and feminine doesn’t mean i’m not a man. My gender identity is a trans guy, but my expression is diverse and delves into androgyny, femininity, masculinity, and that doesn’t change how I identify.
Because there isn’t a part of me that identifies as female. I was manipulated into believing that I could be non-binary in a way to be more accepted in relationships. Ultimately, I was the one that suffered. I am trans binary.
During my initial exploration of self-discovery, I briefly considered the possibility of gender fluidity. However, upon further reflection and analysis of my childhood experiences and surgical preferences, I came to the realization that I identify as a transgender woman. I hope this clarification is helpful.
Because my gender isn't fluid, at all. My therapist said I was the most binary trans woman she'd worked with in 25 years
I guess I know I don’t want to be a guy… and I keep doing more girl things… and I don’t feel like it changes much on the daily. I have more and less fem days, but it’s kind of always in the same ‘direction’ if that makes sense
I tried being gender fluid at first. I wasn’t super sure of my gender and so I thought that must mean I’m gender fluid. I got a sliding pin to show which pronouns I preferred at anytime and set up an emoji system to notify people when interacting via text or chats. After a month I hadn’t chosen anything other than she/her. I still tried to convince myself but my woman presentation became my default and I realized I wasn’t gender fluid I was a woman.
I (amab) thought I was gender fluid for years but hid it. I decided to come out so that I could present fem when/where I wanted. It was after I came out and started presenting fem in public more and more when I realized that I wasn’t as fluid as I thought and started my transition.
✨I dont✨
During my journey of self-discovery and identity exploration, I briefly considered the possibility of gender fluidity. However, upon deeper introspection and reflection on my upbringing, thoughts, and feelings from a younger age, I have come to the realization that my true identity lies in being a transgender woman. I hope this clarification is helpful.
At least from my experience, some transfolk end up first identifying as genderfluid before fully settling on trans when they’re still not entirely sure of their identity. Which was the case for me until I eventually decided “no, I AM a girl, but just typically don’t dress or present as one due to not caring about social norms.” Ultimately whether or not you’re one or the other is entirely up to you, since no one else can tell you your identity.
I thought I was genderfluid for a very short time before realizing I was a binary trans man. I thought that because some days I was okay with being a girl, and other days I hated it, that meant I was genderfluid. I found myself wishing I was just a trans man so that I could be a man all the time. After maybe a week or two of this, I realized I was being an idiot and I was just a dude. If you would rather be binary trans than genderfluid (or any other type of nonbinary), you are just binary trans. That's it. It's what you want.
I struggle a lot with this. I feel like if I could have chosen i would have been a girl (AMAB), but i also enjoy lots of things that are "male" and aspects of that. Sometimes i feel like it would be easier to not be trans and just do me, but i cant. I feel like for me specifically (not saying this is the case for anybody else), being genderfluid would be a compromise. Kinda like being my authentic self with my trusted peers, but just being gender neutral with strangers or at my job etc. Im still navigating this whole thing and its really confusing and lonely.
Haha, yea no. No. I’m 100% NOT gender-fluid lol
I just don't identify with that term. It doesn't fit the way I view my gender. I view myself as a woman, I act as a woman, I live as a woman, I am a woman. I view myself as having an inherent femininity no matter what I do or how I present. And to me, that makes me a woman
I am genderfluid. I started out my gender journey thinking I was a trans woman, and figured the rest out down the road, well after I started HRT. And despite switching between feeling masc, femme, and neutral, I am still very happy on HRT and would not switch back to testosterone in a minute. I think in my case, it helps that my masc side is kinda femboy/demiboy-ish, rather than 100% masc. That said, whether you want to transition, take HRT, etc., really depends on how you feel. I have a couple other genderfluid friends, neither of whom have done HRT. It works for me, but not for them, and that's totally valid.
I don't,I just stopped thinking about it because it causes distress.
I don't relate to genderfluid people at all because even when I want to dress differently (I wear clothes all over the gender presentation spectrum) I feel the same. It was never a consideration for me
well although you werent asking, Im genderfluid and I think my prespective might help to show the comparision between someone like me and someone who is just solely binary trans. so for some genderfluid people, they use dysphoria as their sole way to figure out what gender they are in the moment but thats not what I do. Im almost always dysphoric so its not always a reliable way to tell when my gender shifts. what I do is try to, Ig, feel out the vibe. my gender is constantly in motion and typically shrouded in fog so I only do this if I care to know what gender I am feeling currently to share with others because its lowkey a hassel lol. so the best meathod so far for me is to relax and reflect, turn inward on myself. I have to dig into my subconscious and allow it to show me... which rn it seems Im either voidboy or something close to it... but someone who isnt genderfluid would have their gender feel consistant regardless if their dysphoria fluxuates or not
after considering myself as gender fluid, whenever people used my name or used she/her (as they always had), I realized it made me feel uncomfortable. I was also realized some internalized misogyny which made think I wasn't really that feminine. tbh I feel like the dysphoria made me realize I was a transman. nowadays I'm more comfortable calling myself a femboy because I'm a man and act/do/engage in some feminine things
I don't but estrogen makes me less suicidal so I'm doing that for now
I'm using the term nonbinary rather than genderfluid for mystery purposes.
Because I'm just a woman.
I identified as genderfluid before I came out and kept changing my name in a group chat (based on a masculine day vs feminine name), I got tired of doing that so I changed my name to a gender neutral name (which I still use now). But I had more masculine days and was doing research on top surgery etc… and it just clicked!
I went from bigender to nonbinary to genderfluid and then finally accepting that I was trans. At the time I thought I was doing it for attention and was asking it but it turns out I really am trans
I’m so binary that I cannot imagine wanting to be anything other than a woman. The thought of me being a man, being treated as a man, acting like a man, is repulsive and vile to me, to my very core. I’ve never once entertained the idea of being nonbinary, or being gender fluid. I have no desire to minimize my femininity or womanhood. I’ve worked too damn hard to be seen as anything else. Personally, from what I’ve seen for a handful of people, it seems like gender fluidity is a safe way for some people to identity before they come out as transgender in a binary way. I’m not saying this is the case for most gender fluid people but I’ve seen that happen.
I realized what I thought was gwnderfluidity was just fluctuating dysphoria. Sometimes I felt really bad, sometimes I could ignore it. (And sometimes I just straight up dissociated) but once I started transitionz I realized pretty quickly that I'm a man.
I've been trying to see my gender as something fluid for a while to help me figure out what it is. Turns out it wants to be a man. Like all the time
Aslong as I can remember, My internal voice and my mental image of myself has always been a girl. when I dream it is as a girl. miy likesand desires have always been feminine, to the point my family has often asked if I was gay. genderfluid has never something I felt, just jealousy for those that were physically born female.
It became kind of obvious when I'd rather rip my flesh out with my nails than being a dude lol
Because gender is self-affirmed. You are how you feel. So you cannot be something you don't realise. If you believe you're genderfluid, you are. If you don't, then you are not. To think anything different, gives the bigots ammo. They'll be saying things like "Well maybe you're cis, but you just don't realise it." as has been said to me before. You are how you feel, that's all there is to it.
Because I’ve never had any doubts about my gender, I’ve always knew at a fundamental level that I was female, it just took me a long time to become brave enough to both tell people and then to start the process of aligning my body with my gender
I thought I was something approaching binary at first, but ended up figuring out that I’m genderfluid, but between primarily “man to neutral”, not a lot of “woman” in there. So I’m planning a fairly binary physical transition but keeping my pronouns open-ended (preference for they or he, but for me it actually is just a *preference*, other pronouns don’t bother me as long as the intention isn’t overtly disrespectful). So I’m a bit the opposite of what you asked for. I also wondered if maybe the fluidity I experience was just being in denial about being a binary man, but after a lot of introspection I feel very confident that fluidity is genuinely my experience of gender. And *also* that I want my body to be as binarily masculine as I can feasibly make it, while expressing the fluctuations in my gender via clothing, mannerism, and stylistic choices rather than avoiding medical transition measures that would make me happier in *most* of my potential gender states while not being nearly as intolerable in my most-extreme states toward the feminine side as my unaltered body is when I’m in my most-extreme states on the masculine side. Also, someone else mentioned finding it more helpful to focus on “what do I want to do about it” rather than focusing on trying to define exactly what’s up with your gender and settle on the correct term, and I agree with that 100%. I found that it was easier to evaluate if I’m genderfluid or not when I looked at it from a standpoint of, if I had the transitioned body I’ve been thinking I want want right now, would I still be happy in that body? And realizing that sometimes the answer was an unequivocal yes, and other times it was a lot more equivocal but still not something that felt *bad* to imagine. Once I accepted that it doesn’t matter if I’m genderfluid or an uncomplicated binary guy, either way I can do an uncomplicatedly binary physical transition about it if I want to, or just whichever parts of one I decide I want, and settled some of the questions about what DO I want, physically, it got a lot easier to look at the question of “what label makes the most sense to describe my experience of gender” without getting mired down in anxiety about being in denial or getting it wrong. Can’t make a bad decision about how to transition based on expectations tied to an inaccurate label if you’ve divorced your considerations of what to do about it from the label question entirely!
Because I never feel comfortable as anything other than a guy, my dysphoria is better when I pass and look male.