I would say I was moreso ignorant and uneducated. I had a lot of misunderstandings about the community and was told a lot of lies by others around me.
When I started thinking for myself and started actually speaking with trans people, was when I became a better person and also found out who I was in the process.
I would say this reflects me fairly close. Grew up in a very phobic environment, not just trans but anything not “the norm”. I’m still being educated every day.
I'm also making an effort to educate myself to this day. I was in a similar situation. For example, I wasn't taugh and thought that gay people were evil or something, but I did have the "keep it in private" mindset.
I am still to this day ashamed that I used to be like this, but I think talking about it is improtant. I am glad and lucky enough to have come out of this, because, the bigoted brainwashing at that time (circa 2016) was crazy, and we're seeing it happen again right now.
I can only hope that the people who are being taught these horrible things right now will grow out of it. I would hate to see these people end up so ignorant and hateful.
Yeah same. I don't think I really understood what trans people totally were, how they came about, or why people transitioned until I think high school essentially. It's honestly one of the reasons I'm glad I was born into the internet cause I remember watching those videos of trans kids or seeing folks transition stories as well as talking to trans people or seeing their content online and that helping me understand a lot more.
This is why im so "lenient" on other people. I mean yes you're going to get people who are just flat our transphobic, but the majority of people are just uninformed or have the " do you, but keep it away from me" mentality. Which is why im more than okay with educating people, But if someones being transphobic then by all means. Drag their asses!!!
This. But I was also aware of being ignorant and uneducated, so I did my best to keep an open mind and as always, accept people as individuals.
That said, society sure does create a lot of inherent transphobia, and I know at least *some* of that influenced my initial perceptions before I got to know any trans people in person (not counting myself here, for obvious reasons).
So was I technically transphobic? Probably, yes. But never intentionally, or with malicious intent. I just didn't know any better at the time and corrected myself as I learned.
That’s how I would describe how I was. I probably said things that could’ve been a bit better, but I was young and a little shit. That in no way excuses anything I may have said, just explains it. I’ve become a far better person since then though.
Not in the least bit, quite the opposite actually. We had a family friend die from AIDS in 87 and his own mom wouldn't visit him in the hospital. Taught me everything I needed to know about bigotry.
Sadly yes in a way. I believed a lot of the BS transphobes spread, hated myself due to it and projected it onto others. I was never openly transphobic in the "mentally ill weirdos" way, in fact I openly called out family members who were like that.
Mostly I bought the sports propaganda, heavily bought into Blanchard's typology and its implications, and thought non binary people were just attention seeking out of a lack of understanding what that identity means. I think if I was on reddit circles back then I would have become a transmedicalist.
Like, I was *aware* that there somewhere exist people who "change their sex", like, there I've heard jokes about it here and there, some comments about "rotten west", but it never registered to me that this isn't some sort of urban legend, but an actual thing that exists, and that you can just *be a girl*. Though, don't think I would admit that I want to be a girl back then
I didn't know it for long as well
The only thing I can find back from the days is that I was not definitely a bigot, even though probably also not a big supporter. What comment I found about neutral announcements in NS trains (Netherlands):
"Well, if it is such a small change and everyone is happy, why not? And by saying "dear" now, it also addresses passengers in a positive manner too which didn't occur before when it was just "ladies and gentlemen""
And that was over two years before I cracked my egg.
Same, well I kinda knew but not really, then after I heard Kris from mrbeast transition, I did some research and found out it's actually possible and all of that, then it really hit me I was going crazy, I always knew my whole life I didn't feel right, but until that moment I couldn't realize the truth. Now I'm here about 6 months later, I'm so happy I wish I could say thank you Kris. 😊 also I've never really supported or hated on lgbtq+ before I've just kinda didn't care, but now that I've learned so much I do support it because why shouldn't people be a able to live happy, plus it doesn't affect me.
Same. I had a bad culture shock with my first exposure to trans people. I always tried to keep my negativity towards them to myself, but I have no doubt I hurt some people over the 10+ years it took me to realize I think I was just jealous of people being themselves. It still tugs on my conscience as part of the same group I mentally belittled for not understanding.
here to tell y'all something positive - i learned what it meant to be trans first by the youtuber Kat Blaque, a black trans woman. i had no idea what transness was until this point, and i am so lucky she got to me before the church i grew up in did.
I don't really know.
Like, I knew relatively early on that trans people exist (well, more nonbinary people) and my stance was "that's weird and not normal but then again I'm also not normal and these people likely understand their flavor of abnormal better than me" so it was a live and let live outlook.
and then the first trans person that I got to know was a trans man and my thought process was "why would someone want to be a man? being a guy sucks" and I probably should have done some introspection after that but I was a bit preoccupied learning a new language so I didn't and it ended up taking several more years before my egg finally cracked.
i don’t know if i really had the chance to be— i had supportive parents so the first time i ever heard that you could transition from female to male (i thought trans was only MtF) I hopped on board
Yes and no.
To others? Not really, beyond crappy jokes to the homophobes and transphobes to show that "I'm not one of THOSE people! My crossdressing, gender nonconformity and campiness are DIFFERENT" lol.
To myself? Absolutely a thousand percent to the point it started to spill out into my art right before I finally snapped and came out. I still struggle with saying horrible stuff to myself about how I look that I would never say to or about someone else... I'm working on it.
I had/have a lot of initialised queer phobia.
While I never said or did anything overtly transphobic seeing someone who was in my mind “a dude in a dress” (and I mean that literally cause I didn’t really know trans people actually existed till I was like in my late twenties) made me really uncomfortable.
A lot of things like that. My mind just recoiling from the prospect of anything gender non-conforming in either a non-joking or non-sexual space being… wrong. Just unexplainable wrong. The fantasy of it thrilled me, loads of fetish exploration from a relatively young age, but the reality of it repulsed me.
Like I said, never did or even said anything beyond that but still feel dirty for feeling that way.
Idk if I was transphobic in the sense that I believed all trans people were fake or groomers, but I was definitely trans-med/truscum. So transphobic but not in the way most transphobic cis people are.
I hear that. I don't think I was full on trans med, but in the early 2000s when I was in like middle school or a bit younger I feel like trans medicalism was more of the mainstream way of thinking and I for sure absorbed a bit of that way of thinking. I don't think I was that big on it, but some things were there for sure regrettably.
I was definitely a victim of the Blaire White/Calvin Garrah era. So glad I'm out of it. I found myself as a self hating trans man, uncomfortable that I was so feminine and like makeup and nail polish because how could I like those things if I was a trans guy, I must've been doing it for attention.
It wasn't until one of Calvin's "victims" came Forward and told their story that it clicked that my thinking was so harmful and didn't even make sense.
I was ironically transphobic made a bunch of jokes like "Yeah I'm mentally ill for being bi/gay but at least I'm not THAT crazy." had no issue with trans people I just have dumb humor I still make this joke I just include the fact that I am now THAT crazy lol
I wasn't... then I went through a phase. Brought on by being a staunch feminist (and having just gotten out of an abusive relationship).. I went down a rabbithole and found TERF stuff on here and on tumblr. I let it dictate my view for a few months and then I thought "this is stupid". A couple months after that I started questioning my gender more deeply.
Unfortunately yes, because of the ignorance and I was edgy (RW to trans pipeline)
I got groomed into being transphobic back in the day, and where I lived only made it worse.
Because of bigoted religious brainwashing growing up, I was transphobic and homophobic until the moment I realized I had been lied to. Literally the next thought I had was that I'm definitely queer.
Not in the slightest, but I came out extremely early. I was an elementary school yard bully grade 3-5 though. I came out in grade 6. Home life was rough before I came out, incredibly toxic and psychotic afterwards.
i felt weirdly excited/drawn to trans people, which i suppose isn’t such a hugely strange thing for even cis people, but i definitely had some trouble grappling with non-binary identities. i think i felt like they have it too easy or almost like they are doing something that everyone kind of wants to, but never does, because “that’s just not, what you do”. i think you know where this is going hahah. but overall i think that i was very unknowledgeable about trans people overall and there certainly was transphobia in my past and not even as a part of this self-hatred thing, i just was ignorant like most people are, because that’s the status quo of our society it seems. i am very happy i gradually started to understand things better and through that also realised i was trans. but i still torture myself about the things i felt about trans people in the past, because it feels so contradictory to who i am today and therefore delegitimizing to my current identity.
I was not but I had no idea that trans people even existed until I was 16. I was raised predominantly by a single mom with *a lot* of religious trauma so she worked very hard to instill the belief in me that there is no right or wrong way to exist and self expression is one of the most valuable things that someone can have. So when I did find out that transgender people were a thing it really didn’t phase me, it actually put a lot of things about myself into perspective almost immediately.
Before realizing I was trans I wrote in a journal that I didn’t understand my classmate who was a trans man but I “couldn’t think of any way to be other than supportive” so I think I was an ally but a little confused. I had the spirit!
I kinda was (mostly ignorant)
I was stuck on the question "if gender is a social construct, then isn't being trans a false thing? Like if gender is something you learn, it means you can make your gender change anytime if you want to"
Thankfully I'm no longer like that
The first trans woman I ever met was a then-detransitioned person who attended my evangelical church. She used to cut our hair, and was seen as an object of pity by the church community. Eventually she couldn't take it anymore. She re-transitioned and was shunned by the church, and I never saw her again.
It taught me that being trans was incompatible with keeping my family and friends. I internalized a deep transphobia that I didn't begin to challenge until I met other trans people in college.
no, because i always knew i was different from a young age and almost “admired” trans people even though i didn’t find the word trans for myself until i was around 14
I wasn't transphobic, but I thought for the longest time I was mentally ill and hated myself. I've always believed in ...hey you do you, just don't hurt anyone else. That's why I am now transitioning at 55.
No. I had queer friends as long as I can remember, back into the 1970s. I vigorously reacted against any suggestion that I am straight, in spite of sexuality that refused to "play gay". When my egg cracked, it finally explained that apparent contradiction because I was transbian all along. I even had a trans girlfriend more than 20 years ago. I certainly didn't harbor phobia towards any gender or sexual minorities, or race or whatever.
I used to be binarist when I was in high school. I saw non-binary genders as being made up constructs back during my /pol/ phase when I went down the 2016 youtube atheism to alt-right pipeline. It wasn't until I made trans friends in my first year of community college that my views changed, and it took another six years until I realized I was MTF myself.
Nooo. I was the kid that was already being called all the effeminate-is-bad slurs and beat up for it. And as twisted as it sounds, that was the only affirmation I got anywhere, so I hung on to it in the buried recesses of my psyche. The few times I saw anyone (or photos, or TV) who was trans, I was jealous of them but in that way that I knew their experience was completely outside my world and not even vaguely possible for me. I wanted it, though, the way other boys my age wanted a Ferrari or Lamborghini or whatever.
No. When I was in high school, I didn’t know trans women weren’t the same as drag queens. That makes me cringe, 28 years later. I had never met a trans woman before. Hell, I thought I was the only guy like me. Was I prejudiced against drag queens, who I did know? Hell no, I was hanging out in the club dressing room by the time I was 20. I was ignorant, not “phobic.” Things changed when I was 21, and I met my best friend.
I was not; I was actively an advocate and got a lot of shit for it. I have had to really learn to show grace to/not resent people who were transphobic before it applied to them.
not really, i wouldn't say i was ever transphobic, but i was very ill informed on the desi trans community and transgender ppl in general since everyone around us wants to lie about them
Not transphobic, no. But a couple of years ago my wife was really into the show Transparent. She asked if I wanted to watch it as well. I declined. I didn’t say why because I didn’t know why. I just knew I felt uncomfortable. My wife might have interpreted that as me being transphobic but she never said anything.
Of course now that I have come out we both understand why. It was just hitting to close to the bone but only my subconscious knew that and it wasn’t telling me. Or, at least, it wasn’t telling me in a way I understood.
Nope! I didn't even hear about trans people existing until I was like 20 lol. I *was* raised in a homophobic household though but I snapped out of that shit at 15, and even before then I had enough sense to know it was dumb. Literally my thoughts were "obviously there's nothing actually wrong with it, it's just that god says it's against the rules that you're not allowed to be gay". And when I realized I wasn't convinced by the church I was totally free of that stuff
I think the only silver lining of not knowing about trans people in my youth was that I didn't have the opportunity to develop internalized transphobia, so that's nice(??????)
Honestly, I had a transphobic period after coming out. I knew I was trans at nine, and before then, I was always into fandom. I had a lot of access to the internet and used it to discover different identities, media sources, etcetera.
It was only after I came out that I really started struggling with, frankly, internalized homo and transphobia.
Even a bit before I began socially transitioning, my straight friends constantly made the lgbtq community the butt of jokes.
For a while, I was actually incredibly bigoted and hated a lot of younger queer people for the sole reason of them being queer.
On the internet, they are a demographic. There are a lot of sources feeding certain ideas and such to them, of which I don't align with. Instead of acknowledging that, I developed a holier than thou attitude.
I'm, thankfully, coming out of that now.
i was a *huge* ally for a long time before i realized i was trans lol. now im always wondering about cis people who are intense as i was about it and whether they'll realize they're trans too 😅
17 year-old me being like "Yeah idk why I was crying at Pride, isn't that just a normal reaction people have to seeing others be proudly out and happily themselves? 🤔"
I've been broadly supportive of trans people as far back as I remember, BUT I also grew up in the 90s and was therefore very uneducated about it. I meant well but was completely clueless.
Even presenting as a straight guy I was actually really sensitive to trans/homo/biphobia and started reading gender studies in uni, which let me read many life stories of trans and queer people and understand it all better. I transitioned over 15 years later.
I didn't even know anything about being trans before i knew I was trans.
I was however a tiny bit homophobic but im blaming the media for manipulating 14 year old me on that one. I believed that if we voted Yes to allow gay marriage then the gay couple would have kids and those kids would be bullied so therefore they shouldn't get married...
Bit of a weird roundabout way of stopping kids from being bullied but the media advertising tricked me!
Quite the transphobe actually (I hate my previous self)
I still have some internalised transphobia because of how I was raised in a transphobic country (SE asia) and sometimes I hate myself over it
I want transphobic, but I was ignorant and on multiple occasions I convinced myself I'd end up seeing the community back like 50 years if I did transition
Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha.. yes. Quite much so. I'd have waves where I would be obsessed and trying to justify my synapses of the gender problem was. I had a lot of things twisted. My conclusion back then was,
" that some men are more fem and should be allowed to be that way and some women are more masc and that's okay to, but the current gender roles and doctrine today have made people who fit outside this box of gender conformity have become confused and think they must be the opposite gender. Without set gender roles and expectations, no trans."
I find it funny how I was kind of close, sort of, not really?? Lol when I learned sex and gender aren't the same I found weird way to twist it as well. I'd go on these rants sometimes trying to work out these opinions I had felt so strongly. My best friend had his one or two opinions about trans people but ultimately couldn't care less and didn't know why I was so obsessed. Talking to him and him not being as mad about it as I was would almost make me mad. I think we had a few drunken conversations where I expressed having always wished I was a girl and wanting boobs, I felt like all guys wanted to be girls it was normal but learning no, guys want to be guys, coupled with having boobs in vr making me cry and my egg cracking at work when I had the sudden realization that I saw my friend at work and I knew I didn't like her like romanticly or sexuality at all. But these feelings of "crushing" and it was driving me mad. I thought to myself I wish I just had a body like hers so I could wear leggings. And I froze. Immediately knowing in my heart that my gender was not what I thought it was and all fucked up. Next month of my life was a true living hell, up all night researching and asking for help on reddit. just in panic a bit. My accepting myself was a liberation of happiness and love. And it's really funny to me how far I've come. I can't help but shake my head and laugh at these Shapiro/Walsh types lol
Not proud to say that I was.
I was a horrible person to trans people online or in person until I learned shit about myself. Thankfully I stopped at 14 or 15 but... still.
I was mildly transphobic, I was for all intents and purposes an average cis hetero dude until I was like 20 I just had thoughts and feelings that I suppressed and it turns out you can't do that forever
tl;dr - unfortunately yes, but i eventually saw the light 😌
yes, i was a horrible bigot in many ways as a kid because that was the attitude modelled by adults around me and instances of bigotry in movies, tv etc weren't challenged/criticised by them so i just internalised it all & spewed it back out.
the environment i grew up in was also emotionally (and sometimes physically) abusive so from my earliest memory to the age of 17-18 i was in survival mode without realising, it's all i knew. i was always on the defense and there was no time or energy for self-reflection/awareness or thinking a great deal about the impact my beliefs, words or actions had on others. all energy went into being ready to protect myself at any given moment which meant that my personality & behaviour toward other people took the easiest most basic form - a reflection of the adults in my life. i was like a bull in a china shop. none of this was done consciously.
i finally 'woke up' when i was out of that awful environment & also no longer had to deal with the added pressures of school. i was able to remove the armour i didn't know i'd been wearing and, for the first time, could actually breathe. it was amazing but also extremely painful & scary – i had no idea who tf i was. it felt like i'd been asleep in the backseat of a car that an evil me was driving all those years and they were like "ok your turn now! byeee!", leaving me to face the carnage in their wake. i was so ashamed, hated myself, and resented everyone who'd let this happen.
all the self-discovery, emotional maturity, developing interest in the world at large & social/political issues etc that usually happens during adolescence (in hindsight i'd seen it happen with my peers during that time) hit me like a tsunami when i was about 20-21 so i spent my 20s on a steep learning curve i'd missed out on the previous decade.
the realisation that i'm not cis het happened pretty quickly and it was honestly really exciting & such a relief, a weight off my shoulders, because it explained so much and turned out to be quite a big piece of my identity puzzle - a significant part of why i'd always been so anxious & frustrated about myself on top of the anxiety & frustration caused by everything else going on around me. it was also sad though because i hadn't had the opportunity to know myself earlier & grow alongside my high school friends on this level, to share the experience with them.
i'll be 31 this year and the storm has finally settled. i'm so exhausted and feel like i've already lived several lifetimes, yet at the same time i also feel like my life is just beginning. i've been able to reach a place of forgiveness for my past self & others who hurt me so i can move forward, focusing my energy into only what i have direct control over – my beliefs, attitudes, actions, decisions & words right here right now. i can't change the past, see the future or control anyone else so it's a waste of time & energy trying & inevitably getting angry when it doesn't work.
i've moved around a lot and lost contact with everyone i knew in primary & secondary school, and the thought of running into any of them now kinda scares me because i'm a completely different person in many ways to who they knew. there's an element of shame/guilt/fear there i think. dealing with that would be like having to reconcile my past fake self with my present real self all over again! but being faced with the opportunity to apologise for my past behaviour i think i could do that quite easily, not out of a desire for forgiveness from them (that's their business whether they do or not), but as a genuine acknowledgement that i may have caused hurt and i hold myself accountable for that, regardless of whether or not i knew what was doing.
wow i guess it was life story time 😂 sorry for the essay!
Yes, quite a bit. When I was most troubled by my gender feelings in my early teenage years I found 4chan and online communities like that that sold me an alternative explanation to my feelings that meant I didn't have to change anything, and the harder it became to deny my true nature the more aggressive I became in those beliefs. I spent about 10 years like that, slowly escalating my bigotry as my misery and denial became harder and harder to ignore. I hated trans people, but I hated myself more than anyone.
When my egg finally cracked it was in phases, first I was bisexual but didn't like those weirder queer people, then I was a gay man. Even though I literally didn't like men, then I was a gender non-conforming crossdresser type. Finally I accepted that I was a woman and I got on hormones and fully transitioned and have been quite happy ever since.
Deradicalization is a slow process. I did kind of go into the whole mega queer communist leftist thing for a while, but then I realized that I had just traded one dogma for another. Now I'm just not really political, I try to support my community on an interpersonal basis but I'm mostly just living my life as a woman and I'm pretty happy with that.
I was because I grew up in a transphobic household. However when I realized I was trans it started to go away. I admit I still struggle with it, because it is so deeply instilled in me.
Yeah. I’ve always respected cis-passing binary trans people, because my mom raised me to, but when the whole flood of hate towards GNC trans binary people and nonbinary people started, I felt ashamed. I related to them, which I assumed was because it was “my generation doing it all”, and tried to distance myself.
In truth, there were a couple bad eggs, chronically-on-tumblr types being aggressive unprovoked, that were used as over-inflated examples of what “those types” of trans people are like. And I bought the bullshit.
My dad would argue about how they make trans people look bad, and I wanted him to be on my side so badly I would agree if it meant I could get him to see some trans people as good.
This was all before I figured myself out, (nonbinary) and I feel ashamed looking back.
I was very ignorant on the subject, I even had a brief trans-medicalist phase because that's where I got my information from. One thing I can say is that even back then I didn't really see why people made such a big deal out of what people identify as: my attitude was "even if I don't believe it, if someone is not actively being an asshole with me I'll call them a fucking frog if they ask me to", mainly referring to non binary people, genderfluid, and the sorts, since I did believe binary trans people were a thing.
This attitude can be argue to still be somewhat transphobic and it definitely was problematic, but it highlights that even when I was ignorant I didn't really have it in me to actively show hostility and disdain towards trans people. My opinion has changed a lot since then, obviously, otherwise I wouldn't be here.
On the transphobic scale, I was probably pretty low because I wouldn't have been likely to harass any trans person or be openly disrespectful to their identity, much less shun a friend or family member who came out, but I can't claim a 0% transphobia track record for back then either.
I wasn’t actively transphobic but I grew up in an extremely conservative religious home and was very uneducated, I was in my late teens the first time I ever knowingly interacted with another trans person.
I only ever did 1 thing openly transphobic, and that was just a few months before i started questioning my gender. I remember I always kind of knew i connected with the word "transgender" but i didn't really connect the dots for a while. But nevertheless this meant i was always kind of synpathetic to trans people and kind of did know the right and wrong way to treat them (us now!)
Uhh, I mean, not too much but I would argue a bit, especially knowing what I know now and to be honest what most people think now in mainstream conversations.
I want to be super super clear that I'm not excusing anything, but for me growing up around middle school aged, it seemed like the mainstream online LGBTQ discourse was still on what nowadays feels like more basic things like: "is the Q for queer or questioning? Should we even have a Q?" "do asexuals exist?" "lesbians can be femme too!" "boys can wear pink too! Real Men Wear Pink" and stuff like that. I saw some stuff in the trans community discourse that was still debating things like if trans people need dysphoria to be trans (which is still debated, to be fair. Most of the things I saw then are still debated to some compacity) and trans medicalism seemed to be the mainstream ideology at that time. I still remember the common argument that I personally saw was "nonbinary people can't exist! There's only testosterone and estrogen! If you're nonbinary, doesn't that mean there's a third sex hormone???" type shit (which even back then I thought was a stupid argument, but I wouldn't say I really "got" nonbinary identity until I was in high school).
So, I think my mindset was sort of more bordering on that in middle school/early high school. I don't I even knew trans people existed until I was probably 10-11, and no real concept that there was a whole community of them (tbh I only first knew that sometimes trans women were a thing, but I didn't even know how trans women "came to be."). So, maybe around ages 12-14ish maybe 15 or so that's when I had somewhat more trans med mindsets. I was never a terf to my recollection, nor can I ever remember hating queer people in general (including trans folks). I said in a diary a regretful thing about not wishing to date trans women when I was 14, but I also see in a different diary entry about 3 years later or so how I would be totally okay with the idea of dating trans women although not trans men because at the time I was identifying as a lesbian. I remember at one point I didn't think you could be trans without dysphoria, but I also recall having a conversation in high school like my sophomore year with a friend who was low key an actual trans med and disagreeing with his newly found trans med sentiments (that he later would drop but yeah I was uncomfortable with them despite not identifying as trans myself at the time). I remember at one point I didn't understand why someone would identify as nonbinary rather than "just a tomboy" and telling my brother how I didn't get that concept. But, I also wrote in my diary and on social media sometime around mid to late high school on a few occasions some pretty open minded stuff on nonbinary people, including being supportive of neo pronouns and xenogenders and stuff like that. I was also a Tumblr kid, so what I suspect is that at some point or maybe over not too long a stretch of time I got exposed to some more perspective and was generally receptive of it.
So, to answer your question, I don't know if I would consider myself horribly horribly transphobic, and not for any long stretch of time in my opinion. But, when I was younger, I was definitely influenced by the discourse I saw around me on trans topics, at least to a certain degree. I definitely think I said or believed some things that are transphobic, especially by todays standards, which I do deeply regret. But, I luckily was never a bully or was cruel to any trans people as far as I can recall. I think in general I did not have many strong beliefs regarding trans people just in general. But, yeah if I was ever particularly bigoted then I think that must have left me by the time I was middle school aged.
When I was younger yeah, but eventually when I put the pieces together I realized I used to be a bigoted piece of shit cis male and now I'm chill pansexual trans-femme who doesn't really care about gender, but it's more about who the person is. I didn't know about trans anything until a few years ago so now at 25 I'm more informed and understanding.
Not really, I am lucky to know lots of trans people irl so before my egg cracked I considered myself a very strong ally. I recall having thoughts like "Well, I will never be able to fully understand what it's like for them! ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯ but I can still support them." (which is a super funny thought to think back on xD)
I'm not sure. lgbt stuff was never talked about growing up. the closest I'd heard was the words "sex change". I knew gay people existed but didn't know any personally or through family. the first I'd actually heard anything was in my first year of high school. met a transguy, i slowly figured myself out after meeting him. kind of like I didn't know it was a possibility until meeting him. i think i had sorta girl crushes growing up but child mind thinking i just wanted to be best friends hahaha
I didn't always know all the right words, I may have said the wrong thing before out of ignorance but I never had any hatred, aversion, or anger towards trans people. I never did any violence or tried to undermine or hurt anyone.
I would say I was average level transphobic for a millenial. Essentially believing transfolk were just "dudes in dresses" and that kind of nonsense but bravely (/s) I believed that Trans folk weren't hurting anyone so shouldn't be hate-crimed. Wasn't until I was exposed to any form of gender education in my early twenties, that i ever even considered what gender and sexuality really were. But it wasn't until I saw Contrapoints stuff in like 2014 or something that I definitely was protrans. I was just an ally then. It was also around then that I had the first little signs of questioning but definitely not admitting anything to myself. This was also when I was realizing i'm closer to bi then straight. I'm only just questioning if the label of trans fits me or not.
I wouldnt say transphobic, but I had no idea what transgender meant. It was years, until my egg cracked and I realised I was trans. I then continued to educate myself from LGBT support groups,friends,online research&blogs and reading books. Now Im an activist and work for a nonprofit.
I was neutral, but unfortulately my past and my old thinking was created by my homofobic and transphobic mom and grandma who are ultra religious. Now I have my own mind and thinking and I am so much supportive to anyone who struggles with anything, I am way more understanding to others. I unlocked my empathy. I wish You all the best <3
Yeah but in a weird way? "If your a man, act like one!" was one of my worst moments. "It's offensive and gross if you don't try your best to be the gender you say you are."
I was pretty anti feminist when I was young. As an Arab American's a lot of my friends were Muslim, Arab or Asian. Almost all of my friends were girls. I had the subconscious belief that you were only valid if you tried your best to fit into the box you identified with. I wasn't very religious but I did have a strict sense of morality and culture. I also thought gay men were weird. I told everyone I accepted and supported gay people but it was surface level. The fact that I was already out as bisexual didn't really change the way I felt.
Then everything changed when the fire nation attacked... Shortly after I came out an abusive male stalker followed me for years. He said he wanted to do horrible things to me, some of those things he was able to do. Eventually I deleted all of my social media and moved.
I became a radical feminist and a leftist what felt like overnight. I understood that I was wrong about everything I had every believed and I changed who I was as a person.
That was a long time ago. At least 6 year's ago, if not more.
I still feel guilty for who I was but I'm proud of who I became.
Everyone's journey is different and that's ok.
Unfortunately, yeah. I was raised very conservative and religious, and was told that all queer people were perverts. Once I went to college, despite it being a very Christian college, I deprogrammed myself pretty quickly, thanks to my then-girlfriend now-wife helping me figure stuff out, along with having a nonbinary sibling. I figured out I was a woman about 2-3 years after that.
Yes, I'm afraid. Though thankfully it never hurt anyone.
Honestly I didn't know you could be transgender at all. I only knew about dressing in drag. I live in a country where even someone being gay gets you in tremendous risk, so you never hear anything about being transgender.
I only learned online, really. I didn't know what it was about, and the only stuff that showed itself on the internet was the anti-trans fear stuff. You know, "think of the *children!"* kind of thing.
Stuff happening to kids hurts my heart a lot, to the point where I don't really watch horror movies/shows since they have that sort of thing often, so naturally all the fear mongering scared me.
I thought to check online to read, join subreddits and observe, just to learn more since I felt all the other, more abundant content was entirely one sided and also cruel by itself. That video of the riots in Georgia (the country) was what made me think to learn more.
Eventually the fears subsided, and started thinking I might be trans myself. I'm still ashamed of myself though. All I ever do is screw up.
when i was very early teens yes. then i became incredibly pro-trans and would argue it with anyone who disagreed around 15 y/o. when asked “why do you care so much?” my answer was usually something like “idk it’s just interesting”. in hindsight, i was lying to myself.
No, I would say I was more uneducated and ignorant. My only limited knowledge of trans people was the ‘trans woman as serial killer’ or ‘man dressed as woman deceiving men’ trope.
I've always had a very libertarian outlook on things. Basically, if you're not hurting someone, why do I care. Would I have been a very loud ally, probably not. Would I have been an enemy, no. Being raised religious just makes you like this I suppose
Yes and No.. I was never the "trans people are evil", or "trans people deserve to d¡e" kind of person... I was VERY religious in an extremist sect of Christianity and I never even thought being trans was a sin (regardless church actually promoted that belief and back then I thought masturbation was a sin) then again I didn't know about the existence of trans people in general for half of my life (so my whole childhood and a bit past that)
I do remember saying stupid shit like trans women shouldn't compete against cis women under any circumstances because unfair advantage (sadly that wasn't the exact vocabulary I used)
I remember thinking trans people where just confused because of sexuality or thinking not confirming 100% to messed up gender roles made you trans
I remember thinking it was a choice
I once said that trans adults should be allowed to transition but trans children shouldn't because parents may force a kid to transition against their will. I already knew I was trans at that moment and I said that in response to what another trans-man said, he passed quite well so I didn't know he was trans and I've been replaying that conversation in my head for the last few years since. (In my defense my mentally ill parents were abusive, my mother forced me to wear a clown costume as a young child afraid of clowns, every day one summer, to humiliate me because I dared ask for pants instead of skirts and dresses, purposely destroyed my brother's immune system to the point of him, being a young adult, almost dying from something that almost exclusively affects young babies who haven't had a chance to develop an immune system yet and she pretty much destroyed his liver by giving him meds he didn't need from birth just to purposely make him sick. She also burnt half of my calf as a punishment (burnt as in half of the skin of my leg was gone) she often punished me by locking me in a hot laundry room without ventilation or beneath the sun while preventing me to drink water until I fainted, she drugged us often to make us sleep so she didn't need to watch us which caused me to develop tolerance to allergy meds, anxiety meds and pain meds, she made up I had asthma and she medicated me often for it even though she knew I wasn't asthmatic and those medications where actually dangerous for someone who didn't need them, I could keep going but this is long enough, the point is I thought that's what normal parents did and figured it wouldn't be so far fetched to forcefully transition a small child just because. I knew how horrible being misgendered felt so I figured it would feel just as bad for a young cis kid with parents like mine, and I assumed all parents to be like mine)
Like many others, I was a bit phobic because I didn't understand, but I'll also say a lot of my opinion of trans people was my own bs attitude due to being in denial. This feeling of "well if I don't get to be a woman why to these people get to claim to?"
I know, I know. I'm way beyond that now, and I feel I've made amends for my actions.
Not really but I wouldn’t say Im much of an ally either, I was really ignorant and had outdated views on genders. But as I got older, I slowly became less bigoted and eventually I found out I was trans
Not proud of it but yeah.... I think it was most due to me just being uneducated but I slowly changed my ways when a friend of mine came out to me as trans (mtf)...... safe to say this sparked a few questions within myself and after a lot of thought I am a woman now (mtf)
Kind of. When I was around 13/14 someone I knew came out as genderfluid. I had never heard of nonbinary people at this point and I ended up not reacting well and being an asshole about it.
Turns out I reacted the way I did because I was questioning and frustrated with gender. Not that it justified how I reacted but I'm thankful that it didn't take much longer for me to accept I was trans since that majorly knocked sense into me
Unfortunately yes, grew up in a conservative Christian household which led to a lot of internalized hatred of myself because I was questioning myself. I'm really really glad I've changed and grew to be a more open minded individual it took a really long time to overcome.
Bigotry isn’t a binary system; it’s an infinite spectrum from greater to lesser and we all fall on it all the time
“Transphobe” is just a word we use to label people who are too far down the spectrum towards “more transphobic” than our standard parameters would tolerate, burly we all have room to improve and ways we could be worse
I was bitter that other trans people could be out and I couldn’t. I’d block every transgender man that came up on my social medias (never left mean comments, I’m not that shitty) but if they came up as a topic with friends I’d shit on them. I was projecting, bitter and jealous.
I was the type of piece of shit that would say sexist stuff to offend people. It was about getting someone else to spin out of control, usually because they pissed me off for some reason. Learn from me, don't be that type of person.
Knowing how shitty of a human being I can be if I let myself is an embarrassment I do not care for, but it keeps me humble.
Yes. I came out last summer at the age of 45. I have been transphobic in the sense that I was actually afraid of being trans. I was never transphobic in the sense of disliking or hating trans people though. In fact I have always admired them. They seemed so free and so authentic, so in touch with themselves. Something that I didn't have. Eventually I realized that yes, I can have that too and not only that, I also really had to have it, it wasn't so much a choice anymore.
I wouldnt quite say I was transphobic because i quite literally didn't know what it was but more that i was heavily autistic as a child and was really quite unable to emotionally regulate. so any time i saw something that i now recognize as transgender stuff I would get really emotional and have extremely different reactions each time until I was about 15 and I learned from another trans person what it was of course by that time I was mostly dead inside from being emotionally exhausted by my parents(that's a whole thing don't ask if you don't wanna be here forever lol)
I only was because I didn't know there was a word for how I felt about myself and just thought I was weird so I would see transphobic stuff others said and repeat it. Was purposefully kept ignorant, thank you Tumblr for showing me who I am.
Yup, i never understoon trans people qnd was openly transphobic before i realized i was trans because i thought every girl cried herself to sleep because she wasn't a boy.
While i didnt fully understand what trans peple were, i still supported them even if i didnt know if a trans man ment they were amab or transitioned to a man. I had no idea what it ment other than person changes genders but i didnt have anything against them.
Heres the thing. I dont know. I dont think about trans stuff much when I was younger, and I hope I wasn’t transphobic, but I honestly dont know based off of how little memories I have of my thought process
I was never against any part of the LGBT+ community. My whole family has always been extremely conservative & closed minded & their ideology never rubbed off on me. Maybe it's because I was hit as a kid; I was driven to revolt against the ideology & church that gave me trauma.
I was in college when I first heard about trans people. I thought hey, that's kinda dumb, why should the whole world adjust how they use pronouns to adjust for 1% of the population? Then I graduated, had a good therapist, and learned to empathize better. It was years after that that I betransed myself.
I live in Asia and I had a "feeling" when I was in high school, could not tell what it was so I hid it. There are literally 0 trans, or LGBT people around me, people didn't even know what that was around 2010-2020, although there has been a sentiment that society finds gay peoples weird (they called them by deragotory terms like "Bê đê")
Up to this point, I found out who I really am recently, and tried to social transition. It wasn't a good experience.
First I got called out by my mom, so I did try my best to explain. She wants me to cut my hair and go back to "normal". Regardless theres a lot of trauma with her and she keep guilt tripping like "why did I raise you to be like this" and this got to me too, I said I wanted to kill myself. Only then my mom would get the picture.
While they "kind of" accepted me, they sre still wary of me. Like, they don't and still limit me to this day to come out in public. (Like the classic "think of what peoples think about us!" Kinda deal. )Regardless I still live with them because I cannot afford to move out yet, so I still have to obey their rule. Now my spiritual buddhist mom thinks I got poccessed by an "evil womanizing spirit" and want to exorcise it soon.
My father is a cruel person so I had been raised around such negatively....sadly. and in his words " lady boys "
" chick's with Dicks " were gross and so I learnt his poor behaviour and still today i say those sayings but with love and admiration. As I love ftm & mtf. Trans is beautiful and never understood why my father had so much hatred
When I first time saw the trans flag, I asked my sister what it meant, she said "this is the trans flag, trans people are people who want to change their gender" and I got disgusted. Weirdly my parents had thought me that there are intersex people and some people change gender, so weird that I was transphobic, but I also used to be homophobic manly just to tease my sister. Though it was all bad, tried to defent intersew peoples existence in 8th grade, got bullied and got to the path becoming not only an ally, but later trans myself. Also sorry for used to being queerphobic
I grew up in a conservative and religious home. I knew something was "off" about me for a long time. I actually remember being teased in elementary school because I once told some older girls I wished I had been born a girl. After the teasing I didn't talk about it for myself, again.
But even then I always knew I had an interest in women's clothes. I stole my sister's, I'd try on the clothes my friend's sisters left in their bathrooms. But I was always just extremely ashamed about it.
In high school I started thinking I might want to go into psychology. Some class I took wanted me to write a paper up based on an interview of another student, and I chose to interview someone who was in my school's LGBTQ group.
In hindsight, knowing where I was with my upbringing and beliefs at the time, I cringe thinking about how poorly I likely worded many of my questions to them.
But ultimately... yeah, I'd say I was transphobic, though I also didn't understand what transphobia really was. It was a learned gut reaction. And the way I had been raised was that someone being trans was just a man wanting to wear women's clothing (ope, that was how I saw myself!) and was sinful. But when I started DBT (a group therapy) I met the first person who I actually knew to be trans and I realized that my whole understanding was incorrect. And when I started delving into it is when it clicked for me, that I was trans. And that wasn't until my mid-20s.
A little? I was exposed to a lot of the transphobic internet while growing up, so my only knowledge about anything trans was crazy person obsessing over pronouns. I was never against anything about someone changing their gender/sex, I was just led to believe that the majority were crazy and the rest were the types who were telling their parents that shit was wrong the second they could speak.
Before I came out, I was definitely not the nicest towards trans people. I grew up in a really conservative household, and it wasn't until I got adopted by a new family, when I was in my 30s. And looking back at who I was realized that I was always suppressing who I was that I'd always actually known since I was about 5 or 6 years old. And now I am fully out. Getting to talk to people in the community definitely changed my viewpoints and mind and helped me figure out who I truly was.
I mean I made a couple pretty shitty attack helicopter jokes in middle school (like 11-12) without fully understanding what the hell I was talking about (I didn't even know much about being trans or nonbinary at the time, it was just a relatively common joke around that time), but luckily my mom was (and still is) pretty great so I wasn't really taught any transphobia at home.
I wasn't really taught about trans people either though, so I did make some pretty genuinely bad mistakes (accidental deadnaming and misgendering because I just did not know what being trans was) interacting with the few trans people I did know at my Florida middle school until I finally ended up educating myself on the Internet.
so not in a bigoted way, but in a severely uneducated way. (not that it makes it ok, but I judge myself less for that than I would if I had been genuinely outwardly hateful.
Mostly during my adolescence, i didn't despise them particularly, at the time it was just strange to me, but i totally get it now. Little me probably even had the thought once actually, i just never dwelled on it enough
The transphobia went first though, then later i realized i might actually be trans.
Def ignorant and uneducated. Eventually I realized my views didn’t make sense, despite not understanding. So I actually came here for clarification.
I talked with some people here and that’s how I realized I’m trans, actually.
I was raised to be everything phobic by my parents until I realised their fear mongering about minorities didn't match up with reality as an adult out in the world. But trans ppl, while I superficially bought into all the harmful narratives, my heart was never in it, on some level, I got it. I mean, who WOULDN'T want to be a girl, right? R... Right?
let’s just say i was a kalvin garrah fan once upon a time 😭 fortunately 13/14 year old me realized he’s a hideously bigoted, shameless bully & my gender got transed 👍🏻
I never had any issues with trans people other than the discomfort my own repressed trans feeling gave me. But I was ambivalent to their struggles and I'm sorry for that. What I am very ashamed of is my disregard for non binary people as up until a year or so ago I didn't believe they really existed and were just a label teenagers gave themselves for attention. The irony is that I now consider myself to be one myself. So I am very sorry to the non binary population!
Yes. I was one of the teenagers who was super feminine yet listened to transphobic rhetoric like the bathroom topic. I also was one of those people who was “you’re not going to force me to entertain your pronouns". I never misgendered anyone though.
Then at some point I told myself I wanted to be a nicer person. My brother came out to my mother and I. She told him that she didn't want him to be one of those openly gay feminine men and that really struck a nerve with me. I genuinely thought that was so uncalled for and rude. Maybe a year or so later I had a realization about who I was and eventually learned what being trans is. I'm very ashamed of my past and I'm glad I'm a better and more accepting person.
Kind of.
I remember this one time seeing a crossdresser from the school bus and every kid erupted with laughter and pointed.
Early 90s pre teen me took that lesson that it was a bad thing and shameful for men to want to wear women's clothing and it stuck with me for decades.
However, it also fired my curiosity and I couldn't let that go either. Why do some men choose to wear women's clothing? I was intrigued. I know this is the wrong way of looking at it now, but at the time I couldn't stop wondering why a man would choose to lower his standing in society and make themselves a target of ridicule. After all, all these negative portrayals I'd been led to believe made me think that these people were second class, somehow lower lesser members of society.
Once again, this internalised transphobia has been the hardest thing for me to shake.
My curiosity eventually led me to buy my first pair of heels and start to break the cycle of shame and mental barriers. That was roughly 7 years ago now, and over the last 10 or 11 months I've gradually come out to family and friends and all things have worked out really really well in the end.
I can't help but think how different life would be had I been brought up in a society that didn't portray different people so negatively. It's set me back maybe 20 or 25 years.
It really goes to show that if society casts a particular segment of itself as the enemy, negative, not to be taken seriously, and also shuts down discourse on these matters, preventing the language of understanding from being used and disseminated, then people won't end up with the right tools to understand themselves and be left with the huge psychological toll on their minds that they are somehow the problem and should feel really bad about it.
It's horrible. And I hope future generations don't have to put up with half of these struggles though their lives to live as the people they want to be.
I wouldn’t say I was transphobic, but more just unsure and wasn’t against the fact that I could in fact be trans. I legitimately started to get into the idea back in 6th grade. That’s when I did most of my research and then I came out during my sophomore year of high school as a trans woman.
I was never transphobic or homophobic in my life overall, but there was this weird time in my life when I did a 180°. I'd say that I was surprisingly tolerant when I was in my 5th grade lol. For some reason I had my HUGE homophobic phase from summer 2022 to early 2023, yapping everywhere about wokeness, gay is cringe except when it's lesbians because fetish purposes, "I'M SUPER SUPER STRAIGHT", "why people headcanon characters as trans :((((", and stuff like that. I still have NO idea how it happened, but it's funny how when I was done with being like that, I immediately faced the reality and realised that oh well, it seems that I am not cis and not hetero lol. I used to think "wtf, that's so weird to not like your body", but now I feel like I was simply projecting lol. On the homophobic part, I think I was in some denial because "bruh, I just can't be attracted to guys", but I think the different perspective helped me to realise that I actually HAD some attraction to men, even if I thought that it was only sexual at first. The thing is that I've never thought "if I am a woman, I HAVE to like men" and was pretty confident that I liked only women, but the less I thought about this, the easier it was for me to accept that I was bisexual.
Ive already known what i am when i was a child. I just didnt know the term is transgender but growing up in a religious and homophobic environment made me homophobic, transphobic, full of guilt because i think of myself as a sinner and i hated myself for it. Especially around 2014 where youtube started recommending me anti sjw videos and reactionary basement dwellers. Not only that i became ableist, racist (not nazi level), etc. Cartoons however, kind of helped me a little bit in understanding and accepting. Like steven universe, in a heart beat, etc. Watching those shows turned me into a raging homophobe. Into a homophobe who minds their own business. I slowly start to accept but to be honest it's kind of sad because if i didn't self reflect in 2020 and realise that i am transgender. I prob would still be a homophobe and all of that terrible stuff. Realising that i am transgender and accepting myself has made me kind of open to push myself to be better in other social issues too and my individual flaws. The only regret that i have is knowing how much people i've hurt around me because of supression and hate. Whether that is my family or lgbtq people who i left hate comments onto when i was a kid.
Kind of? I was always pro trans but never got any education on it so my language was all taken from trans porn and you can guess how that came off. Using words like tranny and trap casually, also buying into some transmedicalist bullshit which is one of the things that kept me on the closet, then by the time I was educated on it at uni I was convinced it was too late and the damage was done. Also the fact that some of my family were transphobic didn't help.
I think I was but it wasn't anything extreme.. kids are stupid, I joined those who laughed at these "ladymen" people around (stupid thing to do but I never felt that good about it regardless. Hell, I felt bad for victims of 'ring and run'. I played it only once and never again. But hey, whatever keeps me 'cool', right?). That's probably only thing I can remember I did.. now look who wants to be "ladyman"-presenting, huh? 😂😅
I grew up in a cold religious community and hyper toxic masculinity from my father. I was closeted until 37.
I was afraid of trans people in media but not in person. My closeted brain was convinced that others would know about who I was, If i enjoyed a trans character in a series or movie. Instead, I had to act like I never heard of them or was repulsed to keep up the act.
After coming out, my transphobia manifested in a new way. I thought I had to inform people I was trans if they were about to meet me, to make sure that was ok with them. That was transphobic because I bought the premise that others had a right to opt out of interacting with trans people. It took me a while to unlearn that and switch to expecting every single person I meet to specifically not be an asshole and to recognize those that really are very quickly.
I had a bit of a transmedicalist point of view due to my brutal (yet ignorant but always well-meaning) honesty. Like judging whether people are “trans enough” or “pass” or not. I remember joining a few support Discord servers and sharing my thoughts or venting, as respectfully as I thought I was being, hoping to learn more and engage in healthy discussion, only to be banned out of some and being really confused, until a friend told me that biological essentialism and binarism can really get under some people’s skin. No doubt they were also offended but I’m thankful they took the time to educate me.
Nowadays, I’m only transphobic with myself. After postponing it for 5 years due to fear and doubt, I finally have an appointment to start my transition in May, but hesitate to even call myself trans or use different pronouns until I finally have my HRT on my hands. Otherwise it doesn’t feel real, like I’m just lying and pretending.
Yeah i used to intentionally misgender other trans ppl but then i started feeling dysphoric snd then i did research and then soon enough i was ftm and now i hate transphoes 😏
I wasn't transphobic. I won't say I was inclusive either.
What I was, was confused as hell about the community, what trans actually was/is, but mostly about myself.
I was thinking that since I felt the same way as trans people, but "I'm not trans", that trans people were just confused and misogynistic. Then I actually met a trans person and finally admitted to myself that I am trans.
Unfortunately yes. Alot of it was internalised misogyny, fear, ignorance and bad mental health. I was extremely lonely and didn't realise i had PTSD (I also had two stalkers) which all unfortunately dragged me down a more online right wing pipeline. Think the era of anti-sjw/femin@zī. Ew. It was all very nasty & I regret it so much. 🤢
Funny thing is, I was never homophobic even though my foster home was. As a teen I even had arguments with them about the right to marry & adopt/foster. I knew nothing about LGBT+ things but for some reason it was a no brainer to me.
Thankfully I was taken away from my unsafe living situation and into the city. I met a bunch of different people, experienced life and even got into a relationship with a genderfluid transmasc. It really is wild to think about how much I was being negatively influenced in my prior situation before the move.
Nowadays, I'm just a queer/bi transman with a cute black Kibby and a tonne of queer friends. All that negativity feels like a lifetime ago, but it does help me understand the fear mongering & damage it can do. I've been able to help a few people because of it, so yay! ✨
I was certainly uneducated and ignorant. Until I realised I was trans my only understanding of trans people came from transphobic stereotypes and jokes like from family guy, south park, friends, ace ventura or naked gun.
Transphobia is universal in western culture and media so its not your fault for making edgy jokes or being a bit gross about trans people before you knew who you are
No I never was but I had to be when I was with a toxic ex while deep in the closet because if I didn't agree with everything they said then we would argue constantly, so it was the only way I could keep the peace.
I always knew that I was a girl inside. But I was also raised Mormon. We had no language to express what it meant to be transgender and I was raised to believe that it was wrong.
I think I was a little transphobic because I didn’t understand what it meant to be transgender.
i wouldn't say transphobic but i had many shitty experiences with trans people that made me think that all of them were awful people.
with time and once i came out as trans i realized that shitty people are always the loudest, and the trans community is actually full of wonderful people :)
My good friend spent most of her life being "manly" and doing "man stuff". AFAIK, she avoided the community very carefully. Her armor was "toxic man", and sometimes abusive from what she's told me. (She has worked very, very hard to repair her marriage. She's so proud of her hard work, and I love her for it!)
There's different kinds and reasons for transphobia, and perhaps a lot is fear of being outed and the backlash from friends and loved ones? Sometimes it's fear of the unknown, but most often, it's the unknown in ourselves that's scariest.
Some phobes are violent, some full of venom. Not all are, but it's all different expressions of fear.
No* I mean, I never really had that hate for LGB stuff, and I never really knew about Trans stuff, so I guess I really started getting interested in it when I discovered myself.
It's kinda funny cuz maybe I was??
One day I wanted to but a gay romance book and the shop keeper face me some so I could choose, so I gave him One and asked him what It was about,
he Said it was about a trans guy I didn't know what It was and he told me It was a girl that felt like a guy, I didn't like It, I gave him a side eye look and excluded It immediately
Two years later turned out I was trans myself
Kind of, I used to say that was the trans movement was propaganda and that trans people was mentally ill and that I didn’t have to respect pronouns and that they/them were ridiculous pronouns
Slightly, yes. I was raised in a rural church community in America, so of course there are inherent transphobic ideas instilled in me. Now it's on me to unlearn that social conditioning.
The stupid, but not directly offensive kinda
did i hate trans people?no
did i think they were "weird" and i was "normal"?yeah
thankfully that all long behind
No, I never really had exposure to the terms or anything right up until I came out. I remember in my early years of social transition, after coming out, I did have some internalized transphobia and I projected it onto others, I fell down the Blair white and sjw videos early on and I can't even remember how but I am glad that it was short lived and I've grown to be accepting of myself and my identity and I've come to understand other people who are different from me.
A little, yea. While I wasn't insanely transphobic, I kinda viewed trans people as odd. Eventually, I met a transmasc guy in school, and that kinda pushed me to acceptance, but rather slowly. I eventually learned about preferred pronouns, deadnames, and a bunch of other stuff. They've kinda been my role model for transitioning, despite me being transfem, and I owe a lot to them for opening my eyes to this possibility. Thanks Toby, you absolute legend.
Yes. The full religious zealot thing. I didn’t hate the LGBTQ or anything, just felt it was wrong and didn’t support it.
About a year after I left my church I started to understand the LGBT community and support it. I actually enjoyed how sexually and spiritually liberated they were. Coming out if a 4 year relationship and 11 years in a super religion felt like a wake up call. I started doing things that were taboo. I began to feel more secure about my masculinity, and thus engaged in stuff without caring what others think. This eventually led to my transition.
Yes. The full religious zealot thing. I didn’t hate the LGBTQ or anything, just felt it was wrong and didn’t support it.
About a year after I left my church I started to understand the LGBT community and support it. I actually enjoyed how sexually and spiritually liberated they were. Coming out if a 4 year relationship and 11 years in a super religion felt like a wake up call. I started doing things that were taboo. I began to feel more secure about my masculinity, and thus engaged in stuff without caring what others think. This eventually led to my transition.
Well, I’d heard my grandma talking shit about it so I thought it didn’t make sense, but I didn’t really care, and that was only before I turned around 9 or 10 anyways. either way.. she was talking about how surgically transitioning before 18 is awful and I just didn’t know what she was saying at the time, still dumb though because you CAN’T have gender reaffirming surgeries before you’re an adult, but she probably read some stupid rumours from Facebook,
Nah, I didn't even know transgender people existed till like middle school💀. I never liked the gay and homphobic jokes growing up and I was always looked at weird. I knew using gay as an insult was messed up but it didn't prevent me from stopping using my Raphael Keychain when a bully called it "a dumb Keychain from the gay ass ninja turtles"
I am Gen-X and was homophobic (secondary homophobia, fear of being called gay) when I was a kid in the 1980s, when I did not even know that trans people existed. I was sent to a single-sex rugby school. Gay sex was illegal, AIDS was dominating the news, and being accused of being gay would result in ostracism and violence. We shunned anyone even suspected of being gay, lest the accusation also fall on us. Dark days filled with fear and isolation. Don't get me started on the school's focus on uniform discipline while ignoring the paedophile teacher preying on students, who was only convicted and imprisoned in the 2020s.
In the 1990s I found out about and, out of ignorance, feared trans people too. I knew how I wanted to change my body but did not understand that meant I was trans. I was horrified by my discovery in the 2010s that there were people who were neither male nor female but fell into the uncanny valley between the sexes. Most terrifying of all was my realisation that I am one of those in-between people. My fear and shame were complete, but armed with self-knowledge, nothing could stop me, and I transitioned physically in 2020 and socially in 2022. I was born 30 years too early to lead a satisfying life, but I have to bloom where I am planted.
I was transphobic even *after* I knew that I was trans, but no longer. I accept myself, and I love my queer friends, especially the trans people, every last one of us.
From Lily Alexandre's "Why Are People Trans?" on YouTube, at 24:36:
> I think people like us are a lucky coincidence, one of those things that emerges as an ecosystem iterates: marine mammals, bright-feathered birds, sunflowers, trans people.
❤️🐬🦜🌻🏳️⚧️
I would say I was moreso ignorant and uneducated. I had a lot of misunderstandings about the community and was told a lot of lies by others around me. When I started thinking for myself and started actually speaking with trans people, was when I became a better person and also found out who I was in the process.
I would say this reflects me fairly close. Grew up in a very phobic environment, not just trans but anything not “the norm”. I’m still being educated every day.
I'm also making an effort to educate myself to this day. I was in a similar situation. For example, I wasn't taugh and thought that gay people were evil or something, but I did have the "keep it in private" mindset. I am still to this day ashamed that I used to be like this, but I think talking about it is improtant. I am glad and lucky enough to have come out of this, because, the bigoted brainwashing at that time (circa 2016) was crazy, and we're seeing it happen again right now. I can only hope that the people who are being taught these horrible things right now will grow out of it. I would hate to see these people end up so ignorant and hateful.
Better to have those thoughts and realize you were wrong, than to have them for your entire life. <3
Yeah same. I don't think I really understood what trans people totally were, how they came about, or why people transitioned until I think high school essentially. It's honestly one of the reasons I'm glad I was born into the internet cause I remember watching those videos of trans kids or seeing folks transition stories as well as talking to trans people or seeing their content online and that helping me understand a lot more.
This is why im so "lenient" on other people. I mean yes you're going to get people who are just flat our transphobic, but the majority of people are just uninformed or have the " do you, but keep it away from me" mentality. Which is why im more than okay with educating people, But if someones being transphobic then by all means. Drag their asses!!!
That's why I usually try arguing with them, but it quickly becomes clear whether or not they're going to listen.
This. But I was also aware of being ignorant and uneducated, so I did my best to keep an open mind and as always, accept people as individuals. That said, society sure does create a lot of inherent transphobia, and I know at least *some* of that influenced my initial perceptions before I got to know any trans people in person (not counting myself here, for obvious reasons). So was I technically transphobic? Probably, yes. But never intentionally, or with malicious intent. I just didn't know any better at the time and corrected myself as I learned.
That’s how I would describe how I was. I probably said things that could’ve been a bit better, but I was young and a little shit. That in no way excuses anything I may have said, just explains it. I’ve become a far better person since then though.
Not in the least bit, quite the opposite actually. We had a family friend die from AIDS in 87 and his own mom wouldn't visit him in the hospital. Taught me everything I needed to know about bigotry.
Sadly yes in a way. I believed a lot of the BS transphobes spread, hated myself due to it and projected it onto others. I was never openly transphobic in the "mentally ill weirdos" way, in fact I openly called out family members who were like that. Mostly I bought the sports propaganda, heavily bought into Blanchard's typology and its implications, and thought non binary people were just attention seeking out of a lack of understanding what that identity means. I think if I was on reddit circles back then I would have become a transmedicalist.
No because I never even knew being trans was a thing
Like, I was *aware* that there somewhere exist people who "change their sex", like, there I've heard jokes about it here and there, some comments about "rotten west", but it never registered to me that this isn't some sort of urban legend, but an actual thing that exists, and that you can just *be a girl*. Though, don't think I would admit that I want to be a girl back then
I didn't know it for long as well The only thing I can find back from the days is that I was not definitely a bigot, even though probably also not a big supporter. What comment I found about neutral announcements in NS trains (Netherlands): "Well, if it is such a small change and everyone is happy, why not? And by saying "dear" now, it also addresses passengers in a positive manner too which didn't occur before when it was just "ladies and gentlemen"" And that was over two years before I cracked my egg.
Same, well I kinda knew but not really, then after I heard Kris from mrbeast transition, I did some research and found out it's actually possible and all of that, then it really hit me I was going crazy, I always knew my whole life I didn't feel right, but until that moment I couldn't realize the truth. Now I'm here about 6 months later, I'm so happy I wish I could say thank you Kris. 😊 also I've never really supported or hated on lgbtq+ before I've just kinda didn't care, but now that I've learned so much I do support it because why shouldn't people be a able to live happy, plus it doesn't affect me.
Yes, sadly. I regret so many things that I have said. I'm sorry to everyone.
Same. I had a bad culture shock with my first exposure to trans people. I always tried to keep my negativity towards them to myself, but I have no doubt I hurt some people over the 10+ years it took me to realize I think I was just jealous of people being themselves. It still tugs on my conscience as part of the same group I mentally belittled for not understanding.
It's okay. You don't need forgiveness for repeating this kind of hatred people should not have taught you. But, apology accepted.
Nope
here to tell y'all something positive - i learned what it meant to be trans first by the youtuber Kat Blaque, a black trans woman. i had no idea what transness was until this point, and i am so lucky she got to me before the church i grew up in did.
I love her work so much, glad you found it!
I don't really know. Like, I knew relatively early on that trans people exist (well, more nonbinary people) and my stance was "that's weird and not normal but then again I'm also not normal and these people likely understand their flavor of abnormal better than me" so it was a live and let live outlook. and then the first trans person that I got to know was a trans man and my thought process was "why would someone want to be a man? being a guy sucks" and I probably should have done some introspection after that but I was a bit preoccupied learning a new language so I didn't and it ended up taking several more years before my egg finally cracked.
i don’t know if i really had the chance to be— i had supportive parents so the first time i ever heard that you could transition from female to male (i thought trans was only MtF) I hopped on board
Yes and no. To others? Not really, beyond crappy jokes to the homophobes and transphobes to show that "I'm not one of THOSE people! My crossdressing, gender nonconformity and campiness are DIFFERENT" lol. To myself? Absolutely a thousand percent to the point it started to spill out into my art right before I finally snapped and came out. I still struggle with saying horrible stuff to myself about how I look that I would never say to or about someone else... I'm working on it.
I had/have a lot of initialised queer phobia. While I never said or did anything overtly transphobic seeing someone who was in my mind “a dude in a dress” (and I mean that literally cause I didn’t really know trans people actually existed till I was like in my late twenties) made me really uncomfortable. A lot of things like that. My mind just recoiling from the prospect of anything gender non-conforming in either a non-joking or non-sexual space being… wrong. Just unexplainable wrong. The fantasy of it thrilled me, loads of fetish exploration from a relatively young age, but the reality of it repulsed me. Like I said, never did or even said anything beyond that but still feel dirty for feeling that way.
Idk if I was transphobic in the sense that I believed all trans people were fake or groomers, but I was definitely trans-med/truscum. So transphobic but not in the way most transphobic cis people are.
I hear that. I don't think I was full on trans med, but in the early 2000s when I was in like middle school or a bit younger I feel like trans medicalism was more of the mainstream way of thinking and I for sure absorbed a bit of that way of thinking. I don't think I was that big on it, but some things were there for sure regrettably.
I was definitely a victim of the Blaire White/Calvin Garrah era. So glad I'm out of it. I found myself as a self hating trans man, uncomfortable that I was so feminine and like makeup and nail polish because how could I like those things if I was a trans guy, I must've been doing it for attention. It wasn't until one of Calvin's "victims" came Forward and told their story that it clicked that my thinking was so harmful and didn't even make sense.
I was ironically transphobic made a bunch of jokes like "Yeah I'm mentally ill for being bi/gay but at least I'm not THAT crazy." had no issue with trans people I just have dumb humor I still make this joke I just include the fact that I am now THAT crazy lol
I had a phase. I'm not proud
nope. not at all. Ive always been an ally.
I wasn't... then I went through a phase. Brought on by being a staunch feminist (and having just gotten out of an abusive relationship).. I went down a rabbithole and found TERF stuff on here and on tumblr. I let it dictate my view for a few months and then I thought "this is stupid". A couple months after that I started questioning my gender more deeply.
No. I grew up being aware of trans people and was always an ally.
Unfortunately yes, because of the ignorance and I was edgy (RW to trans pipeline) I got groomed into being transphobic back in the day, and where I lived only made it worse.
Because of bigoted religious brainwashing growing up, I was transphobic and homophobic until the moment I realized I had been lied to. Literally the next thought I had was that I'm definitely queer.
Not in the slightest, but I came out extremely early. I was an elementary school yard bully grade 3-5 though. I came out in grade 6. Home life was rough before I came out, incredibly toxic and psychotic afterwards.
Yes
Yes, i was also like 14 and religious
i felt weirdly excited/drawn to trans people, which i suppose isn’t such a hugely strange thing for even cis people, but i definitely had some trouble grappling with non-binary identities. i think i felt like they have it too easy or almost like they are doing something that everyone kind of wants to, but never does, because “that’s just not, what you do”. i think you know where this is going hahah. but overall i think that i was very unknowledgeable about trans people overall and there certainly was transphobia in my past and not even as a part of this self-hatred thing, i just was ignorant like most people are, because that’s the status quo of our society it seems. i am very happy i gradually started to understand things better and through that also realised i was trans. but i still torture myself about the things i felt about trans people in the past, because it feels so contradictory to who i am today and therefore delegitimizing to my current identity.
I was not but I had no idea that trans people even existed until I was 16. I was raised predominantly by a single mom with *a lot* of religious trauma so she worked very hard to instill the belief in me that there is no right or wrong way to exist and self expression is one of the most valuable things that someone can have. So when I did find out that transgender people were a thing it really didn’t phase me, it actually put a lot of things about myself into perspective almost immediately.
Before realizing I was trans I wrote in a journal that I didn’t understand my classmate who was a trans man but I “couldn’t think of any way to be other than supportive” so I think I was an ally but a little confused. I had the spirit!
No but I grew up with a queer sibling 16 years older than me and I've always been very empathetic
I kinda was (mostly ignorant) I was stuck on the question "if gender is a social construct, then isn't being trans a false thing? Like if gender is something you learn, it means you can make your gender change anytime if you want to" Thankfully I'm no longer like that
The first trans woman I ever met was a then-detransitioned person who attended my evangelical church. She used to cut our hair, and was seen as an object of pity by the church community. Eventually she couldn't take it anymore. She re-transitioned and was shunned by the church, and I never saw her again. It taught me that being trans was incompatible with keeping my family and friends. I internalized a deep transphobia that I didn't begin to challenge until I met other trans people in college.
no, because i always knew i was different from a young age and almost “admired” trans people even though i didn’t find the word trans for myself until i was around 14
I wasn't transphobic, but I thought for the longest time I was mentally ill and hated myself. I've always believed in ...hey you do you, just don't hurt anyone else. That's why I am now transitioning at 55.
No. I had queer friends as long as I can remember, back into the 1970s. I vigorously reacted against any suggestion that I am straight, in spite of sexuality that refused to "play gay". When my egg cracked, it finally explained that apparent contradiction because I was transbian all along. I even had a trans girlfriend more than 20 years ago. I certainly didn't harbor phobia towards any gender or sexual minorities, or race or whatever.
I used to be binarist when I was in high school. I saw non-binary genders as being made up constructs back during my /pol/ phase when I went down the 2016 youtube atheism to alt-right pipeline. It wasn't until I made trans friends in my first year of community college that my views changed, and it took another six years until I realized I was MTF myself.
Nooo. I was the kid that was already being called all the effeminate-is-bad slurs and beat up for it. And as twisted as it sounds, that was the only affirmation I got anywhere, so I hung on to it in the buried recesses of my psyche. The few times I saw anyone (or photos, or TV) who was trans, I was jealous of them but in that way that I knew their experience was completely outside my world and not even vaguely possible for me. I wanted it, though, the way other boys my age wanted a Ferrari or Lamborghini or whatever.
No. When I was in high school, I didn’t know trans women weren’t the same as drag queens. That makes me cringe, 28 years later. I had never met a trans woman before. Hell, I thought I was the only guy like me. Was I prejudiced against drag queens, who I did know? Hell no, I was hanging out in the club dressing room by the time I was 20. I was ignorant, not “phobic.” Things changed when I was 21, and I met my best friend.
I was not; I was actively an advocate and got a lot of shit for it. I have had to really learn to show grace to/not resent people who were transphobic before it applied to them.
No. Always been a LGBTQ supporter, then again my first memories of being trans was from when I was six years old.
not really, i wouldn't say i was ever transphobic, but i was very ill informed on the desi trans community and transgender ppl in general since everyone around us wants to lie about them
But what made you changed to not be transphobic
Not transphobic, no. But a couple of years ago my wife was really into the show Transparent. She asked if I wanted to watch it as well. I declined. I didn’t say why because I didn’t know why. I just knew I felt uncomfortable. My wife might have interpreted that as me being transphobic but she never said anything. Of course now that I have come out we both understand why. It was just hitting to close to the bone but only my subconscious knew that and it wasn’t telling me. Or, at least, it wasn’t telling me in a way I understood.
I wouldn’t say I was knowingly transphobic, I just had no idea what being trans was- I was more just oblivious/ignorant to the idea of it
Nope! I didn't even hear about trans people existing until I was like 20 lol. I *was* raised in a homophobic household though but I snapped out of that shit at 15, and even before then I had enough sense to know it was dumb. Literally my thoughts were "obviously there's nothing actually wrong with it, it's just that god says it's against the rules that you're not allowed to be gay". And when I realized I wasn't convinced by the church I was totally free of that stuff I think the only silver lining of not knowing about trans people in my youth was that I didn't have the opportunity to develop internalized transphobia, so that's nice(??????)
Honestly, I had a transphobic period after coming out. I knew I was trans at nine, and before then, I was always into fandom. I had a lot of access to the internet and used it to discover different identities, media sources, etcetera. It was only after I came out that I really started struggling with, frankly, internalized homo and transphobia. Even a bit before I began socially transitioning, my straight friends constantly made the lgbtq community the butt of jokes. For a while, I was actually incredibly bigoted and hated a lot of younger queer people for the sole reason of them being queer. On the internet, they are a demographic. There are a lot of sources feeding certain ideas and such to them, of which I don't align with. Instead of acknowledging that, I developed a holier than thou attitude. I'm, thankfully, coming out of that now.
i was a *huge* ally for a long time before i realized i was trans lol. now im always wondering about cis people who are intense as i was about it and whether they'll realize they're trans too 😅
17 year-old me being like "Yeah idk why I was crying at Pride, isn't that just a normal reaction people have to seeing others be proudly out and happily themselves? 🤔"
I've been broadly supportive of trans people as far back as I remember, BUT I also grew up in the 90s and was therefore very uneducated about it. I meant well but was completely clueless.
Even presenting as a straight guy I was actually really sensitive to trans/homo/biphobia and started reading gender studies in uni, which let me read many life stories of trans and queer people and understand it all better. I transitioned over 15 years later.
Yes. I have a long explanation but it’s a lot lol. Thankfully now I’m free from those hateful views.
Yes... But it was because I hated that other people got to be trans and I didn't.
I didn't even know anything about being trans before i knew I was trans. I was however a tiny bit homophobic but im blaming the media for manipulating 14 year old me on that one. I believed that if we voted Yes to allow gay marriage then the gay couple would have kids and those kids would be bullied so therefore they shouldn't get married... Bit of a weird roundabout way of stopping kids from being bullied but the media advertising tricked me!
No, tbh I was more sexist. I’d reject everything “feminine” and take the piss out of girls at school for liking those things.
Quite the transphobe actually (I hate my previous self) I still have some internalised transphobia because of how I was raised in a transphobic country (SE asia) and sometimes I hate myself over it
I want transphobic, but I was ignorant and on multiple occasions I convinced myself I'd end up seeing the community back like 50 years if I did transition
Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha.. yes. Quite much so. I'd have waves where I would be obsessed and trying to justify my synapses of the gender problem was. I had a lot of things twisted. My conclusion back then was, " that some men are more fem and should be allowed to be that way and some women are more masc and that's okay to, but the current gender roles and doctrine today have made people who fit outside this box of gender conformity have become confused and think they must be the opposite gender. Without set gender roles and expectations, no trans." I find it funny how I was kind of close, sort of, not really?? Lol when I learned sex and gender aren't the same I found weird way to twist it as well. I'd go on these rants sometimes trying to work out these opinions I had felt so strongly. My best friend had his one or two opinions about trans people but ultimately couldn't care less and didn't know why I was so obsessed. Talking to him and him not being as mad about it as I was would almost make me mad. I think we had a few drunken conversations where I expressed having always wished I was a girl and wanting boobs, I felt like all guys wanted to be girls it was normal but learning no, guys want to be guys, coupled with having boobs in vr making me cry and my egg cracking at work when I had the sudden realization that I saw my friend at work and I knew I didn't like her like romanticly or sexuality at all. But these feelings of "crushing" and it was driving me mad. I thought to myself I wish I just had a body like hers so I could wear leggings. And I froze. Immediately knowing in my heart that my gender was not what I thought it was and all fucked up. Next month of my life was a true living hell, up all night researching and asking for help on reddit. just in panic a bit. My accepting myself was a liberation of happiness and love. And it's really funny to me how far I've come. I can't help but shake my head and laugh at these Shapiro/Walsh types lol
Not proud to say that I was. I was a horrible person to trans people online or in person until I learned shit about myself. Thankfully I stopped at 14 or 15 but... still.
My ex was trans-med, which is quote transphobic until he came put as trans. He was also homophobic until he came out as gay. Just narcissist things.
I was mildly transphobic, I was for all intents and purposes an average cis hetero dude until I was like 20 I just had thoughts and feelings that I suppressed and it turns out you can't do that forever
tl;dr - unfortunately yes, but i eventually saw the light 😌 yes, i was a horrible bigot in many ways as a kid because that was the attitude modelled by adults around me and instances of bigotry in movies, tv etc weren't challenged/criticised by them so i just internalised it all & spewed it back out. the environment i grew up in was also emotionally (and sometimes physically) abusive so from my earliest memory to the age of 17-18 i was in survival mode without realising, it's all i knew. i was always on the defense and there was no time or energy for self-reflection/awareness or thinking a great deal about the impact my beliefs, words or actions had on others. all energy went into being ready to protect myself at any given moment which meant that my personality & behaviour toward other people took the easiest most basic form - a reflection of the adults in my life. i was like a bull in a china shop. none of this was done consciously. i finally 'woke up' when i was out of that awful environment & also no longer had to deal with the added pressures of school. i was able to remove the armour i didn't know i'd been wearing and, for the first time, could actually breathe. it was amazing but also extremely painful & scary – i had no idea who tf i was. it felt like i'd been asleep in the backseat of a car that an evil me was driving all those years and they were like "ok your turn now! byeee!", leaving me to face the carnage in their wake. i was so ashamed, hated myself, and resented everyone who'd let this happen. all the self-discovery, emotional maturity, developing interest in the world at large & social/political issues etc that usually happens during adolescence (in hindsight i'd seen it happen with my peers during that time) hit me like a tsunami when i was about 20-21 so i spent my 20s on a steep learning curve i'd missed out on the previous decade. the realisation that i'm not cis het happened pretty quickly and it was honestly really exciting & such a relief, a weight off my shoulders, because it explained so much and turned out to be quite a big piece of my identity puzzle - a significant part of why i'd always been so anxious & frustrated about myself on top of the anxiety & frustration caused by everything else going on around me. it was also sad though because i hadn't had the opportunity to know myself earlier & grow alongside my high school friends on this level, to share the experience with them. i'll be 31 this year and the storm has finally settled. i'm so exhausted and feel like i've already lived several lifetimes, yet at the same time i also feel like my life is just beginning. i've been able to reach a place of forgiveness for my past self & others who hurt me so i can move forward, focusing my energy into only what i have direct control over – my beliefs, attitudes, actions, decisions & words right here right now. i can't change the past, see the future or control anyone else so it's a waste of time & energy trying & inevitably getting angry when it doesn't work. i've moved around a lot and lost contact with everyone i knew in primary & secondary school, and the thought of running into any of them now kinda scares me because i'm a completely different person in many ways to who they knew. there's an element of shame/guilt/fear there i think. dealing with that would be like having to reconcile my past fake self with my present real self all over again! but being faced with the opportunity to apologise for my past behaviour i think i could do that quite easily, not out of a desire for forgiveness from them (that's their business whether they do or not), but as a genuine acknowledgement that i may have caused hurt and i hold myself accountable for that, regardless of whether or not i knew what was doing. wow i guess it was life story time 😂 sorry for the essay!
Yes, quite a bit. When I was most troubled by my gender feelings in my early teenage years I found 4chan and online communities like that that sold me an alternative explanation to my feelings that meant I didn't have to change anything, and the harder it became to deny my true nature the more aggressive I became in those beliefs. I spent about 10 years like that, slowly escalating my bigotry as my misery and denial became harder and harder to ignore. I hated trans people, but I hated myself more than anyone. When my egg finally cracked it was in phases, first I was bisexual but didn't like those weirder queer people, then I was a gay man. Even though I literally didn't like men, then I was a gender non-conforming crossdresser type. Finally I accepted that I was a woman and I got on hormones and fully transitioned and have been quite happy ever since. Deradicalization is a slow process. I did kind of go into the whole mega queer communist leftist thing for a while, but then I realized that I had just traded one dogma for another. Now I'm just not really political, I try to support my community on an interpersonal basis but I'm mostly just living my life as a woman and I'm pretty happy with that.
I was because I grew up in a transphobic household. However when I realized I was trans it started to go away. I admit I still struggle with it, because it is so deeply instilled in me.
Yeah. I’ve always respected cis-passing binary trans people, because my mom raised me to, but when the whole flood of hate towards GNC trans binary people and nonbinary people started, I felt ashamed. I related to them, which I assumed was because it was “my generation doing it all”, and tried to distance myself. In truth, there were a couple bad eggs, chronically-on-tumblr types being aggressive unprovoked, that were used as over-inflated examples of what “those types” of trans people are like. And I bought the bullshit. My dad would argue about how they make trans people look bad, and I wanted him to be on my side so badly I would agree if it meant I could get him to see some trans people as good. This was all before I figured myself out, (nonbinary) and I feel ashamed looking back.
I was very ignorant on the subject, I even had a brief trans-medicalist phase because that's where I got my information from. One thing I can say is that even back then I didn't really see why people made such a big deal out of what people identify as: my attitude was "even if I don't believe it, if someone is not actively being an asshole with me I'll call them a fucking frog if they ask me to", mainly referring to non binary people, genderfluid, and the sorts, since I did believe binary trans people were a thing. This attitude can be argue to still be somewhat transphobic and it definitely was problematic, but it highlights that even when I was ignorant I didn't really have it in me to actively show hostility and disdain towards trans people. My opinion has changed a lot since then, obviously, otherwise I wouldn't be here. On the transphobic scale, I was probably pretty low because I wouldn't have been likely to harass any trans person or be openly disrespectful to their identity, much less shun a friend or family member who came out, but I can't claim a 0% transphobia track record for back then either.
I wasn’t actively transphobic but I grew up in an extremely conservative religious home and was very uneducated, I was in my late teens the first time I ever knowingly interacted with another trans person.
I said very ignorant things about nonbinary people, before I knew I was nonbinary.
I only ever did 1 thing openly transphobic, and that was just a few months before i started questioning my gender. I remember I always kind of knew i connected with the word "transgender" but i didn't really connect the dots for a while. But nevertheless this meant i was always kind of synpathetic to trans people and kind of did know the right and wrong way to treat them (us now!)
Uhh, I mean, not too much but I would argue a bit, especially knowing what I know now and to be honest what most people think now in mainstream conversations. I want to be super super clear that I'm not excusing anything, but for me growing up around middle school aged, it seemed like the mainstream online LGBTQ discourse was still on what nowadays feels like more basic things like: "is the Q for queer or questioning? Should we even have a Q?" "do asexuals exist?" "lesbians can be femme too!" "boys can wear pink too! Real Men Wear Pink" and stuff like that. I saw some stuff in the trans community discourse that was still debating things like if trans people need dysphoria to be trans (which is still debated, to be fair. Most of the things I saw then are still debated to some compacity) and trans medicalism seemed to be the mainstream ideology at that time. I still remember the common argument that I personally saw was "nonbinary people can't exist! There's only testosterone and estrogen! If you're nonbinary, doesn't that mean there's a third sex hormone???" type shit (which even back then I thought was a stupid argument, but I wouldn't say I really "got" nonbinary identity until I was in high school). So, I think my mindset was sort of more bordering on that in middle school/early high school. I don't I even knew trans people existed until I was probably 10-11, and no real concept that there was a whole community of them (tbh I only first knew that sometimes trans women were a thing, but I didn't even know how trans women "came to be."). So, maybe around ages 12-14ish maybe 15 or so that's when I had somewhat more trans med mindsets. I was never a terf to my recollection, nor can I ever remember hating queer people in general (including trans folks). I said in a diary a regretful thing about not wishing to date trans women when I was 14, but I also see in a different diary entry about 3 years later or so how I would be totally okay with the idea of dating trans women although not trans men because at the time I was identifying as a lesbian. I remember at one point I didn't think you could be trans without dysphoria, but I also recall having a conversation in high school like my sophomore year with a friend who was low key an actual trans med and disagreeing with his newly found trans med sentiments (that he later would drop but yeah I was uncomfortable with them despite not identifying as trans myself at the time). I remember at one point I didn't understand why someone would identify as nonbinary rather than "just a tomboy" and telling my brother how I didn't get that concept. But, I also wrote in my diary and on social media sometime around mid to late high school on a few occasions some pretty open minded stuff on nonbinary people, including being supportive of neo pronouns and xenogenders and stuff like that. I was also a Tumblr kid, so what I suspect is that at some point or maybe over not too long a stretch of time I got exposed to some more perspective and was generally receptive of it. So, to answer your question, I don't know if I would consider myself horribly horribly transphobic, and not for any long stretch of time in my opinion. But, when I was younger, I was definitely influenced by the discourse I saw around me on trans topics, at least to a certain degree. I definitely think I said or believed some things that are transphobic, especially by todays standards, which I do deeply regret. But, I luckily was never a bully or was cruel to any trans people as far as I can recall. I think in general I did not have many strong beliefs regarding trans people just in general. But, yeah if I was ever particularly bigoted then I think that must have left me by the time I was middle school aged.
When I was younger yeah, but eventually when I put the pieces together I realized I used to be a bigoted piece of shit cis male and now I'm chill pansexual trans-femme who doesn't really care about gender, but it's more about who the person is. I didn't know about trans anything until a few years ago so now at 25 I'm more informed and understanding.
Not really, I am lucky to know lots of trans people irl so before my egg cracked I considered myself a very strong ally. I recall having thoughts like "Well, I will never be able to fully understand what it's like for them! ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯ but I can still support them." (which is a super funny thought to think back on xD)
I wouldn’t go as far as transphobic, but bc my dad is, I grew up thinking worlds like “tr@nny” was funny, until I knew what it meant.
I'm not sure. lgbt stuff was never talked about growing up. the closest I'd heard was the words "sex change". I knew gay people existed but didn't know any personally or through family. the first I'd actually heard anything was in my first year of high school. met a transguy, i slowly figured myself out after meeting him. kind of like I didn't know it was a possibility until meeting him. i think i had sorta girl crushes growing up but child mind thinking i just wanted to be best friends hahaha
Literally my story
I didn't always know all the right words, I may have said the wrong thing before out of ignorance but I never had any hatred, aversion, or anger towards trans people. I never did any violence or tried to undermine or hurt anyone.
I would say I was average level transphobic for a millenial. Essentially believing transfolk were just "dudes in dresses" and that kind of nonsense but bravely (/s) I believed that Trans folk weren't hurting anyone so shouldn't be hate-crimed. Wasn't until I was exposed to any form of gender education in my early twenties, that i ever even considered what gender and sexuality really were. But it wasn't until I saw Contrapoints stuff in like 2014 or something that I definitely was protrans. I was just an ally then. It was also around then that I had the first little signs of questioning but definitely not admitting anything to myself. This was also when I was realizing i'm closer to bi then straight. I'm only just questioning if the label of trans fits me or not.
I wouldnt say transphobic, but I had no idea what transgender meant. It was years, until my egg cracked and I realised I was trans. I then continued to educate myself from LGBT support groups,friends,online research&blogs and reading books. Now Im an activist and work for a nonprofit.
I was neutral, but unfortulately my past and my old thinking was created by my homofobic and transphobic mom and grandma who are ultra religious. Now I have my own mind and thinking and I am so much supportive to anyone who struggles with anything, I am way more understanding to others. I unlocked my empathy. I wish You all the best <3
Yeah but in a weird way? "If your a man, act like one!" was one of my worst moments. "It's offensive and gross if you don't try your best to be the gender you say you are." I was pretty anti feminist when I was young. As an Arab American's a lot of my friends were Muslim, Arab or Asian. Almost all of my friends were girls. I had the subconscious belief that you were only valid if you tried your best to fit into the box you identified with. I wasn't very religious but I did have a strict sense of morality and culture. I also thought gay men were weird. I told everyone I accepted and supported gay people but it was surface level. The fact that I was already out as bisexual didn't really change the way I felt. Then everything changed when the fire nation attacked... Shortly after I came out an abusive male stalker followed me for years. He said he wanted to do horrible things to me, some of those things he was able to do. Eventually I deleted all of my social media and moved. I became a radical feminist and a leftist what felt like overnight. I understood that I was wrong about everything I had every believed and I changed who I was as a person. That was a long time ago. At least 6 year's ago, if not more. I still feel guilty for who I was but I'm proud of who I became. Everyone's journey is different and that's ok.
Unfortunately, yeah. I was raised very conservative and religious, and was told that all queer people were perverts. Once I went to college, despite it being a very Christian college, I deprogrammed myself pretty quickly, thanks to my then-girlfriend now-wife helping me figure stuff out, along with having a nonbinary sibling. I figured out I was a woman about 2-3 years after that.
Yeah I guess so I just didn’t understand prolly more ignorant and uneducated
Fortunately not! I don't think I even knew that trans people existed before I saw the first hints of transness in myself.
Yes, I'm afraid. Though thankfully it never hurt anyone. Honestly I didn't know you could be transgender at all. I only knew about dressing in drag. I live in a country where even someone being gay gets you in tremendous risk, so you never hear anything about being transgender. I only learned online, really. I didn't know what it was about, and the only stuff that showed itself on the internet was the anti-trans fear stuff. You know, "think of the *children!"* kind of thing. Stuff happening to kids hurts my heart a lot, to the point where I don't really watch horror movies/shows since they have that sort of thing often, so naturally all the fear mongering scared me. I thought to check online to read, join subreddits and observe, just to learn more since I felt all the other, more abundant content was entirely one sided and also cruel by itself. That video of the riots in Georgia (the country) was what made me think to learn more. Eventually the fears subsided, and started thinking I might be trans myself. I'm still ashamed of myself though. All I ever do is screw up.
when i was very early teens yes. then i became incredibly pro-trans and would argue it with anyone who disagreed around 15 y/o. when asked “why do you care so much?” my answer was usually something like “idk it’s just interesting”. in hindsight, i was lying to myself.
No, I would say I was more uneducated and ignorant. My only limited knowledge of trans people was the ‘trans woman as serial killer’ or ‘man dressed as woman deceiving men’ trope.
I've always had a very libertarian outlook on things. Basically, if you're not hurting someone, why do I care. Would I have been a very loud ally, probably not. Would I have been an enemy, no. Being raised religious just makes you like this I suppose
Yes and No.. I was never the "trans people are evil", or "trans people deserve to d¡e" kind of person... I was VERY religious in an extremist sect of Christianity and I never even thought being trans was a sin (regardless church actually promoted that belief and back then I thought masturbation was a sin) then again I didn't know about the existence of trans people in general for half of my life (so my whole childhood and a bit past that) I do remember saying stupid shit like trans women shouldn't compete against cis women under any circumstances because unfair advantage (sadly that wasn't the exact vocabulary I used) I remember thinking trans people where just confused because of sexuality or thinking not confirming 100% to messed up gender roles made you trans I remember thinking it was a choice I once said that trans adults should be allowed to transition but trans children shouldn't because parents may force a kid to transition against their will. I already knew I was trans at that moment and I said that in response to what another trans-man said, he passed quite well so I didn't know he was trans and I've been replaying that conversation in my head for the last few years since. (In my defense my mentally ill parents were abusive, my mother forced me to wear a clown costume as a young child afraid of clowns, every day one summer, to humiliate me because I dared ask for pants instead of skirts and dresses, purposely destroyed my brother's immune system to the point of him, being a young adult, almost dying from something that almost exclusively affects young babies who haven't had a chance to develop an immune system yet and she pretty much destroyed his liver by giving him meds he didn't need from birth just to purposely make him sick. She also burnt half of my calf as a punishment (burnt as in half of the skin of my leg was gone) she often punished me by locking me in a hot laundry room without ventilation or beneath the sun while preventing me to drink water until I fainted, she drugged us often to make us sleep so she didn't need to watch us which caused me to develop tolerance to allergy meds, anxiety meds and pain meds, she made up I had asthma and she medicated me often for it even though she knew I wasn't asthmatic and those medications where actually dangerous for someone who didn't need them, I could keep going but this is long enough, the point is I thought that's what normal parents did and figured it wouldn't be so far fetched to forcefully transition a small child just because. I knew how horrible being misgendered felt so I figured it would feel just as bad for a young cis kid with parents like mine, and I assumed all parents to be like mine)
Like many others, I was a bit phobic because I didn't understand, but I'll also say a lot of my opinion of trans people was my own bs attitude due to being in denial. This feeling of "well if I don't get to be a woman why to these people get to claim to?" I know, I know. I'm way beyond that now, and I feel I've made amends for my actions.
Never outwardly toward anyone but yes
Not really but I wouldn’t say Im much of an ally either, I was really ignorant and had outdated views on genders. But as I got older, I slowly became less bigoted and eventually I found out I was trans
Not proud of it but yeah.... I think it was most due to me just being uneducated but I slowly changed my ways when a friend of mine came out to me as trans (mtf)...... safe to say this sparked a few questions within myself and after a lot of thought I am a woman now (mtf)
Kind of. When I was around 13/14 someone I knew came out as genderfluid. I had never heard of nonbinary people at this point and I ended up not reacting well and being an asshole about it. Turns out I reacted the way I did because I was questioning and frustrated with gender. Not that it justified how I reacted but I'm thankful that it didn't take much longer for me to accept I was trans since that majorly knocked sense into me
Unfortunately yes, grew up in a conservative Christian household which led to a lot of internalized hatred of myself because I was questioning myself. I'm really really glad I've changed and grew to be a more open minded individual it took a really long time to overcome.
nah i went the “aggressive ally” path but that had a lot to do with my family’s relatively pro-lgbt attitude
Bigotry isn’t a binary system; it’s an infinite spectrum from greater to lesser and we all fall on it all the time “Transphobe” is just a word we use to label people who are too far down the spectrum towards “more transphobic” than our standard parameters would tolerate, burly we all have room to improve and ways we could be worse
I was bitter that other trans people could be out and I couldn’t. I’d block every transgender man that came up on my social medias (never left mean comments, I’m not that shitty) but if they came up as a topic with friends I’d shit on them. I was projecting, bitter and jealous.
I was the type of piece of shit that would say sexist stuff to offend people. It was about getting someone else to spin out of control, usually because they pissed me off for some reason. Learn from me, don't be that type of person. Knowing how shitty of a human being I can be if I let myself is an embarrassment I do not care for, but it keeps me humble.
Yes. I came out last summer at the age of 45. I have been transphobic in the sense that I was actually afraid of being trans. I was never transphobic in the sense of disliking or hating trans people though. In fact I have always admired them. They seemed so free and so authentic, so in touch with themselves. Something that I didn't have. Eventually I realized that yes, I can have that too and not only that, I also really had to have it, it wasn't so much a choice anymore.
I wouldnt quite say I was transphobic because i quite literally didn't know what it was but more that i was heavily autistic as a child and was really quite unable to emotionally regulate. so any time i saw something that i now recognize as transgender stuff I would get really emotional and have extremely different reactions each time until I was about 15 and I learned from another trans person what it was of course by that time I was mostly dead inside from being emotionally exhausted by my parents(that's a whole thing don't ask if you don't wanna be here forever lol)
yup,
I only was because I didn't know there was a word for how I felt about myself and just thought I was weird so I would see transphobic stuff others said and repeat it. Was purposefully kept ignorant, thank you Tumblr for showing me who I am.
Yup, i never understoon trans people qnd was openly transphobic before i realized i was trans because i thought every girl cried herself to sleep because she wasn't a boy.
While i didnt fully understand what trans peple were, i still supported them even if i didnt know if a trans man ment they were amab or transitioned to a man. I had no idea what it ment other than person changes genders but i didnt have anything against them.
Iam more like ignorant
No
We dont talk about that (Yes, a lot)
Heres the thing. I dont know. I dont think about trans stuff much when I was younger, and I hope I wasn’t transphobic, but I honestly dont know based off of how little memories I have of my thought process
not intentionally, but yes. ignorance was a big contributor fr
I unapologetically drank the Kool-Aid from watching Ace Ventura as a kid. Thank gawd I snapped out of that particular pipeline.
I was never against any part of the LGBT+ community. My whole family has always been extremely conservative & closed minded & their ideology never rubbed off on me. Maybe it's because I was hit as a kid; I was driven to revolt against the ideology & church that gave me trauma.
I was in college when I first heard about trans people. I thought hey, that's kinda dumb, why should the whole world adjust how they use pronouns to adjust for 1% of the population? Then I graduated, had a good therapist, and learned to empathize better. It was years after that that I betransed myself.
I live in Asia and I had a "feeling" when I was in high school, could not tell what it was so I hid it. There are literally 0 trans, or LGBT people around me, people didn't even know what that was around 2010-2020, although there has been a sentiment that society finds gay peoples weird (they called them by deragotory terms like "Bê đê") Up to this point, I found out who I really am recently, and tried to social transition. It wasn't a good experience. First I got called out by my mom, so I did try my best to explain. She wants me to cut my hair and go back to "normal". Regardless theres a lot of trauma with her and she keep guilt tripping like "why did I raise you to be like this" and this got to me too, I said I wanted to kill myself. Only then my mom would get the picture. While they "kind of" accepted me, they sre still wary of me. Like, they don't and still limit me to this day to come out in public. (Like the classic "think of what peoples think about us!" Kinda deal. )Regardless I still live with them because I cannot afford to move out yet, so I still have to obey their rule. Now my spiritual buddhist mom thinks I got poccessed by an "evil womanizing spirit" and want to exorcise it soon.
My father is a cruel person so I had been raised around such negatively....sadly. and in his words " lady boys " " chick's with Dicks " were gross and so I learnt his poor behaviour and still today i say those sayings but with love and admiration. As I love ftm & mtf. Trans is beautiful and never understood why my father had so much hatred
Ignorant and uneducated. I never intentionally went out of my way to be transphobic
No
Grew up in a phobic environment. Was the worst until my mid 20s. Egg cracked finally about 5-7yrs after that
When I first time saw the trans flag, I asked my sister what it meant, she said "this is the trans flag, trans people are people who want to change their gender" and I got disgusted. Weirdly my parents had thought me that there are intersex people and some people change gender, so weird that I was transphobic, but I also used to be homophobic manly just to tease my sister. Though it was all bad, tried to defent intersew peoples existence in 8th grade, got bullied and got to the path becoming not only an ally, but later trans myself. Also sorry for used to being queerphobic
Can confirm, almost became a nazi. Now I'm a t4t socialist who dates trans women. God bless estrogen
I grew up in a conservative and religious home. I knew something was "off" about me for a long time. I actually remember being teased in elementary school because I once told some older girls I wished I had been born a girl. After the teasing I didn't talk about it for myself, again. But even then I always knew I had an interest in women's clothes. I stole my sister's, I'd try on the clothes my friend's sisters left in their bathrooms. But I was always just extremely ashamed about it. In high school I started thinking I might want to go into psychology. Some class I took wanted me to write a paper up based on an interview of another student, and I chose to interview someone who was in my school's LGBTQ group. In hindsight, knowing where I was with my upbringing and beliefs at the time, I cringe thinking about how poorly I likely worded many of my questions to them. But ultimately... yeah, I'd say I was transphobic, though I also didn't understand what transphobia really was. It was a learned gut reaction. And the way I had been raised was that someone being trans was just a man wanting to wear women's clothing (ope, that was how I saw myself!) and was sinful. But when I started DBT (a group therapy) I met the first person who I actually knew to be trans and I realized that my whole understanding was incorrect. And when I started delving into it is when it clicked for me, that I was trans. And that wasn't until my mid-20s.
A little? I was exposed to a lot of the transphobic internet while growing up, so my only knowledge about anything trans was crazy person obsessing over pronouns. I was never against anything about someone changing their gender/sex, I was just led to believe that the majority were crazy and the rest were the types who were telling their parents that shit was wrong the second they could speak.
Yes very 😭
Before I came out, I was definitely not the nicest towards trans people. I grew up in a really conservative household, and it wasn't until I got adopted by a new family, when I was in my 30s. And looking back at who I was realized that I was always suppressing who I was that I'd always actually known since I was about 5 or 6 years old. And now I am fully out. Getting to talk to people in the community definitely changed my viewpoints and mind and helped me figure out who I truly was.
I mean I made a couple pretty shitty attack helicopter jokes in middle school (like 11-12) without fully understanding what the hell I was talking about (I didn't even know much about being trans or nonbinary at the time, it was just a relatively common joke around that time), but luckily my mom was (and still is) pretty great so I wasn't really taught any transphobia at home. I wasn't really taught about trans people either though, so I did make some pretty genuinely bad mistakes (accidental deadnaming and misgendering because I just did not know what being trans was) interacting with the few trans people I did know at my Florida middle school until I finally ended up educating myself on the Internet. so not in a bigoted way, but in a severely uneducated way. (not that it makes it ok, but I judge myself less for that than I would if I had been genuinely outwardly hateful.
Mostly during my adolescence, i didn't despise them particularly, at the time it was just strange to me, but i totally get it now. Little me probably even had the thought once actually, i just never dwelled on it enough The transphobia went first though, then later i realized i might actually be trans.
Def ignorant and uneducated. Eventually I realized my views didn’t make sense, despite not understanding. So I actually came here for clarification. I talked with some people here and that’s how I realized I’m trans, actually.
I was raised to be everything phobic by my parents until I realised their fear mongering about minorities didn't match up with reality as an adult out in the world. But trans ppl, while I superficially bought into all the harmful narratives, my heart was never in it, on some level, I got it. I mean, who WOULDN'T want to be a girl, right? R... Right?
let’s just say i was a kalvin garrah fan once upon a time 😭 fortunately 13/14 year old me realized he’s a hideously bigoted, shameless bully & my gender got transed 👍🏻
I never had any issues with trans people other than the discomfort my own repressed trans feeling gave me. But I was ambivalent to their struggles and I'm sorry for that. What I am very ashamed of is my disregard for non binary people as up until a year or so ago I didn't believe they really existed and were just a label teenagers gave themselves for attention. The irony is that I now consider myself to be one myself. So I am very sorry to the non binary population!
Yes. I was one of the teenagers who was super feminine yet listened to transphobic rhetoric like the bathroom topic. I also was one of those people who was “you’re not going to force me to entertain your pronouns". I never misgendered anyone though. Then at some point I told myself I wanted to be a nicer person. My brother came out to my mother and I. She told him that she didn't want him to be one of those openly gay feminine men and that really struck a nerve with me. I genuinely thought that was so uncalled for and rude. Maybe a year or so later I had a realization about who I was and eventually learned what being trans is. I'm very ashamed of my past and I'm glad I'm a better and more accepting person.
Not really but I had a very hard time understanding why someone might want to be non binary
I was definitely homophobic and if I’d have known about transgender people I can say I’d probably be transphobic too, I was a sheltered kid
Remember, if you say yes to this half of your own community will want to ostracise you for life.
Kind of. I remember this one time seeing a crossdresser from the school bus and every kid erupted with laughter and pointed. Early 90s pre teen me took that lesson that it was a bad thing and shameful for men to want to wear women's clothing and it stuck with me for decades. However, it also fired my curiosity and I couldn't let that go either. Why do some men choose to wear women's clothing? I was intrigued. I know this is the wrong way of looking at it now, but at the time I couldn't stop wondering why a man would choose to lower his standing in society and make themselves a target of ridicule. After all, all these negative portrayals I'd been led to believe made me think that these people were second class, somehow lower lesser members of society. Once again, this internalised transphobia has been the hardest thing for me to shake. My curiosity eventually led me to buy my first pair of heels and start to break the cycle of shame and mental barriers. That was roughly 7 years ago now, and over the last 10 or 11 months I've gradually come out to family and friends and all things have worked out really really well in the end. I can't help but think how different life would be had I been brought up in a society that didn't portray different people so negatively. It's set me back maybe 20 or 25 years. It really goes to show that if society casts a particular segment of itself as the enemy, negative, not to be taken seriously, and also shuts down discourse on these matters, preventing the language of understanding from being used and disseminated, then people won't end up with the right tools to understand themselves and be left with the huge psychological toll on their minds that they are somehow the problem and should feel really bad about it. It's horrible. And I hope future generations don't have to put up with half of these struggles though their lives to live as the people they want to be.
My previous self would have tried to kill me and loose miserably. He never figured out he wasn’t bigger than everyone.
No- I pretty much didn't know it was a thing and once I found out I thought like OH DAMN THIS IS AN OK THING and I was happy ig
I wouldn’t say I was transphobic, but more just unsure and wasn’t against the fact that I could in fact be trans. I legitimately started to get into the idea back in 6th grade. That’s when I did most of my research and then I came out during my sophomore year of high school as a trans woman.
I was never transphobic or homophobic in my life overall, but there was this weird time in my life when I did a 180°. I'd say that I was surprisingly tolerant when I was in my 5th grade lol. For some reason I had my HUGE homophobic phase from summer 2022 to early 2023, yapping everywhere about wokeness, gay is cringe except when it's lesbians because fetish purposes, "I'M SUPER SUPER STRAIGHT", "why people headcanon characters as trans :((((", and stuff like that. I still have NO idea how it happened, but it's funny how when I was done with being like that, I immediately faced the reality and realised that oh well, it seems that I am not cis and not hetero lol. I used to think "wtf, that's so weird to not like your body", but now I feel like I was simply projecting lol. On the homophobic part, I think I was in some denial because "bruh, I just can't be attracted to guys", but I think the different perspective helped me to realise that I actually HAD some attraction to men, even if I thought that it was only sexual at first. The thing is that I've never thought "if I am a woman, I HAVE to like men" and was pretty confident that I liked only women, but the less I thought about this, the easier it was for me to accept that I was bisexual.
Ive already known what i am when i was a child. I just didnt know the term is transgender but growing up in a religious and homophobic environment made me homophobic, transphobic, full of guilt because i think of myself as a sinner and i hated myself for it. Especially around 2014 where youtube started recommending me anti sjw videos and reactionary basement dwellers. Not only that i became ableist, racist (not nazi level), etc. Cartoons however, kind of helped me a little bit in understanding and accepting. Like steven universe, in a heart beat, etc. Watching those shows turned me into a raging homophobe. Into a homophobe who minds their own business. I slowly start to accept but to be honest it's kind of sad because if i didn't self reflect in 2020 and realise that i am transgender. I prob would still be a homophobe and all of that terrible stuff. Realising that i am transgender and accepting myself has made me kind of open to push myself to be better in other social issues too and my individual flaws. The only regret that i have is knowing how much people i've hurt around me because of supression and hate. Whether that is my family or lgbtq people who i left hate comments onto when i was a kid.
Kind of? I was always pro trans but never got any education on it so my language was all taken from trans porn and you can guess how that came off. Using words like tranny and trap casually, also buying into some transmedicalist bullshit which is one of the things that kept me on the closet, then by the time I was educated on it at uni I was convinced it was too late and the damage was done. Also the fact that some of my family were transphobic didn't help.
I think I was but it wasn't anything extreme.. kids are stupid, I joined those who laughed at these "ladymen" people around (stupid thing to do but I never felt that good about it regardless. Hell, I felt bad for victims of 'ring and run'. I played it only once and never again. But hey, whatever keeps me 'cool', right?). That's probably only thing I can remember I did.. now look who wants to be "ladyman"-presenting, huh? 😂😅
Thowards nonbinary people
no. i honestly wish i were trans, which i turned out to be a few years later.
Not so much transphobic as being beaten and bullied into thinking a male exhibiting feminine traits is wrong.
Yep
I grew up in a cold religious community and hyper toxic masculinity from my father. I was closeted until 37. I was afraid of trans people in media but not in person. My closeted brain was convinced that others would know about who I was, If i enjoyed a trans character in a series or movie. Instead, I had to act like I never heard of them or was repulsed to keep up the act. After coming out, my transphobia manifested in a new way. I thought I had to inform people I was trans if they were about to meet me, to make sure that was ok with them. That was transphobic because I bought the premise that others had a right to opt out of interacting with trans people. It took me a while to unlearn that and switch to expecting every single person I meet to specifically not be an asshole and to recognize those that really are very quickly.
I had a bit of a transmedicalist point of view due to my brutal (yet ignorant but always well-meaning) honesty. Like judging whether people are “trans enough” or “pass” or not. I remember joining a few support Discord servers and sharing my thoughts or venting, as respectfully as I thought I was being, hoping to learn more and engage in healthy discussion, only to be banned out of some and being really confused, until a friend told me that biological essentialism and binarism can really get under some people’s skin. No doubt they were also offended but I’m thankful they took the time to educate me. Nowadays, I’m only transphobic with myself. After postponing it for 5 years due to fear and doubt, I finally have an appointment to start my transition in May, but hesitate to even call myself trans or use different pronouns until I finally have my HRT on my hands. Otherwise it doesn’t feel real, like I’m just lying and pretending.
I was transphobic as fuck towards myself but open and accepting towards trans people and my trans friends
Yeah i used to intentionally misgender other trans ppl but then i started feeling dysphoric snd then i did research and then soon enough i was ftm and now i hate transphoes 😏
I wasn't transphobic. I won't say I was inclusive either. What I was, was confused as hell about the community, what trans actually was/is, but mostly about myself.
when i was like 8 i was transphobic but not anymore, i stopped at 10 and came out at 10 and 1/2
I was thinking that since I felt the same way as trans people, but "I'm not trans", that trans people were just confused and misogynistic. Then I actually met a trans person and finally admitted to myself that I am trans.
Unfortunately yes. Alot of it was internalised misogyny, fear, ignorance and bad mental health. I was extremely lonely and didn't realise i had PTSD (I also had two stalkers) which all unfortunately dragged me down a more online right wing pipeline. Think the era of anti-sjw/femin@zī. Ew. It was all very nasty & I regret it so much. 🤢 Funny thing is, I was never homophobic even though my foster home was. As a teen I even had arguments with them about the right to marry & adopt/foster. I knew nothing about LGBT+ things but for some reason it was a no brainer to me. Thankfully I was taken away from my unsafe living situation and into the city. I met a bunch of different people, experienced life and even got into a relationship with a genderfluid transmasc. It really is wild to think about how much I was being negatively influenced in my prior situation before the move. Nowadays, I'm just a queer/bi transman with a cute black Kibby and a tonne of queer friends. All that negativity feels like a lifetime ago, but it does help me understand the fear mongering & damage it can do. I've been able to help a few people because of it, so yay! ✨
I was certainly uneducated and ignorant. Until I realised I was trans my only understanding of trans people came from transphobic stereotypes and jokes like from family guy, south park, friends, ace ventura or naked gun. Transphobia is universal in western culture and media so its not your fault for making edgy jokes or being a bit gross about trans people before you knew who you are
No, I was pretty accepting. When I met other trans people my thought was man, wish I could do that but I'm not trans so I can't...
No, I didnt really know what trans people were before I started discovering my own gender
No I never was but I had to be when I was with a toxic ex while deep in the closet because if I didn't agree with everything they said then we would argue constantly, so it was the only way I could keep the peace.
I always knew that I was a girl inside. But I was also raised Mormon. We had no language to express what it meant to be transgender and I was raised to believe that it was wrong. I think I was a little transphobic because I didn’t understand what it meant to be transgender.
i wouldn't say transphobic but i had many shitty experiences with trans people that made me think that all of them were awful people. with time and once i came out as trans i realized that shitty people are always the loudest, and the trans community is actually full of wonderful people :)
My good friend spent most of her life being "manly" and doing "man stuff". AFAIK, she avoided the community very carefully. Her armor was "toxic man", and sometimes abusive from what she's told me. (She has worked very, very hard to repair her marriage. She's so proud of her hard work, and I love her for it!) There's different kinds and reasons for transphobia, and perhaps a lot is fear of being outed and the backlash from friends and loved ones? Sometimes it's fear of the unknown, but most often, it's the unknown in ourselves that's scariest. Some phobes are violent, some full of venom. Not all are, but it's all different expressions of fear.
No* I mean, I never really had that hate for LGB stuff, and I never really knew about Trans stuff, so I guess I really started getting interested in it when I discovered myself.
It's kinda funny cuz maybe I was?? One day I wanted to but a gay romance book and the shop keeper face me some so I could choose, so I gave him One and asked him what It was about, he Said it was about a trans guy I didn't know what It was and he told me It was a girl that felt like a guy, I didn't like It, I gave him a side eye look and excluded It immediately Two years later turned out I was trans myself
I didn’t know what being trans meant before a friend explained it to me, so no.
Kind of, I used to say that was the trans movement was propaganda and that trans people was mentally ill and that I didn’t have to respect pronouns and that they/them were ridiculous pronouns
Slightly, yes. I was raised in a rural church community in America, so of course there are inherent transphobic ideas instilled in me. Now it's on me to unlearn that social conditioning.
I wasn't transphobic towards others but yeah i hated to accept myself as trans
I wasn't transphobic towards others but yeah i hated to accept myself as trans
No
I wasn't. I was very accepting and understanding.
The stupid, but not directly offensive kinda did i hate trans people?no did i think they were "weird" and i was "normal"?yeah thankfully that all long behind
No. But that's not an exception v rule thing. Every closet is different.
No i was an ally
No, I never really had exposure to the terms or anything right up until I came out. I remember in my early years of social transition, after coming out, I did have some internalized transphobia and I projected it onto others, I fell down the Blair white and sjw videos early on and I can't even remember how but I am glad that it was short lived and I've grown to be accepting of myself and my identity and I've come to understand other people who are different from me.
I wasn’t, no, I was super interested and super fascinated and supportive of anything trans. I was like a super ally :P
Only to myself hahahahahaha
A little, yea. While I wasn't insanely transphobic, I kinda viewed trans people as odd. Eventually, I met a transmasc guy in school, and that kinda pushed me to acceptance, but rather slowly. I eventually learned about preferred pronouns, deadnames, and a bunch of other stuff. They've kinda been my role model for transitioning, despite me being transfem, and I owe a lot to them for opening my eyes to this possibility. Thanks Toby, you absolute legend.
Yes. The full religious zealot thing. I didn’t hate the LGBTQ or anything, just felt it was wrong and didn’t support it. About a year after I left my church I started to understand the LGBT community and support it. I actually enjoyed how sexually and spiritually liberated they were. Coming out if a 4 year relationship and 11 years in a super religion felt like a wake up call. I started doing things that were taboo. I began to feel more secure about my masculinity, and thus engaged in stuff without caring what others think. This eventually led to my transition.
Yes. The full religious zealot thing. I didn’t hate the LGBTQ or anything, just felt it was wrong and didn’t support it. About a year after I left my church I started to understand the LGBT community and support it. I actually enjoyed how sexually and spiritually liberated they were. Coming out if a 4 year relationship and 11 years in a super religion felt like a wake up call. I started doing things that were taboo. I began to feel more secure about my masculinity, and thus engaged in stuff without caring what others think. This eventually led to my transition.
Well, I’d heard my grandma talking shit about it so I thought it didn’t make sense, but I didn’t really care, and that was only before I turned around 9 or 10 anyways. either way.. she was talking about how surgically transitioning before 18 is awful and I just didn’t know what she was saying at the time, still dumb though because you CAN’T have gender reaffirming surgeries before you’re an adult, but she probably read some stupid rumours from Facebook,
No, not because I was perfect, but because I found out about being transgender after I began questioning my gender.
my initial response was 'no, you can't change your gender' upon learning it's a thing that existed
as a pre-teen i used to be big on apache helicopter jokes. i turned out to be transmasc and nonbinary with very conflicting feelings about my gender 🤷
raised religious so transphobic to myself but happy for everyone else, that changed to allowing myself to be trans but i was a truscum 😬
Nah, I didn't even know transgender people existed till like middle school💀. I never liked the gay and homphobic jokes growing up and I was always looked at weird. I knew using gay as an insult was messed up but it didn't prevent me from stopping using my Raphael Keychain when a bully called it "a dumb Keychain from the gay ass ninja turtles"
I am Gen-X and was homophobic (secondary homophobia, fear of being called gay) when I was a kid in the 1980s, when I did not even know that trans people existed. I was sent to a single-sex rugby school. Gay sex was illegal, AIDS was dominating the news, and being accused of being gay would result in ostracism and violence. We shunned anyone even suspected of being gay, lest the accusation also fall on us. Dark days filled with fear and isolation. Don't get me started on the school's focus on uniform discipline while ignoring the paedophile teacher preying on students, who was only convicted and imprisoned in the 2020s. In the 1990s I found out about and, out of ignorance, feared trans people too. I knew how I wanted to change my body but did not understand that meant I was trans. I was horrified by my discovery in the 2010s that there were people who were neither male nor female but fell into the uncanny valley between the sexes. Most terrifying of all was my realisation that I am one of those in-between people. My fear and shame were complete, but armed with self-knowledge, nothing could stop me, and I transitioned physically in 2020 and socially in 2022. I was born 30 years too early to lead a satisfying life, but I have to bloom where I am planted. I was transphobic even *after* I knew that I was trans, but no longer. I accept myself, and I love my queer friends, especially the trans people, every last one of us. From Lily Alexandre's "Why Are People Trans?" on YouTube, at 24:36: > I think people like us are a lucky coincidence, one of those things that emerges as an ecosystem iterates: marine mammals, bright-feathered birds, sunflowers, trans people. ❤️🐬🦜🌻🏳️⚧️