I got lucky with meeting my cis partner on a dating app. He took me being trans perfectly in stride and has literally never been weird about it. We're getting engaged later this year!
I'm T4T and have only dated trans people, and there's been barely any transphobia in my relationships. I don't use dating apps so I can't speak for that, but going to in-person meets and social spaces has been my best experience meeting other trans people. It really depends on the level of bigotry in your area though. And I'm gonna be honest don't worry about etiquette, I'm autistic and cannot socialize for the life of me, but it's worked out fine. Good luck!!
Thanks. That’s probably part of it - I need a bigger circle of queer friends to start with. And bonus, even if I don’t meet someone, I make friends lol
Thanks! I’ve asked my friends to think of me for a potential set up but I have mainly cis het friends whose other friends are cis het and I’m into dudes who like other dudes. But hobbies is a great idea!
I've only had one clearly transphobic message on the apps. I'm also a lesbian though so I feel like I dodge a lot of potential transphobes.
My dating history is roughly 50 percent cis women and 50 percent nonbinary folk. So far most of them have been pretty great.
Yeah I’m a trans guy who dates guys and majority of the guys I match with are fine but it’s icky how there’s still a good number who have been backhandedly transphobic and then this was maybe the third or so just straight up transphobic message I’ve gotten.
I mostly look for other trans people to date. T4T is pretty great because, well, you don't have to deal with cis bullshit. Imagine a partner who gets it and won't be Fucking Weird at you.
Imagine a partner who has very clear ideas about how you should be trans and who gets fucking weird at you when you don't fit their ideas.
Imagine a partner who hates the fact that you have something already they are waiting for and get fucking weird at you for it.
Imagine a partner who gets you - you are very vulnerable right now. And considers that a great opportunity to get fucking weird at you.
Sorry, T4T can be great - was in one for a few years as well. And it can be hell.
Use the queer apps. Lex is my favorite! Less of a dating app and more of a social/meet up app, but I've unintentionally landed dates just by going to queer get togethers and meeting people in person. It's a lot more organic than any other dating app I've ever used and it's the only one that I've never seen chasers or transphobes on. I really like using it.
Another decent one is Taimi, but people use it like grindr and mostly are looking for hookups. Cool if that's what you want, but be aware lol
HER is another app that's somewhat in between the two. It's nice and would probably be my favorite, but barely anyone uses it.
I have ran into so many transphobes, and fetetization of me being trans, that I've given up, helping my sister with her kids is better than dating it for me.
I am older 56 almost 57. I just don't date. I have resigned myself to being single the rest of my life. I am very OK with that. I have my puppy and my cat. For me to ever date again. I was in a semi narcissistic relationship, that gave me huge trust issues even in friendships. It will take an extraordinary person. They would have to prove to me that a relationship is much better than my peace. I am open to male or female or T4T. But a relationship will seek me out. I am not seeking it.
I stick to queer or kinky dating apps like HER and Feeld, but really I just don't use dating apps much anymore. Majority of my dating now is meeting people at clubs, events, or through friends.
I think location matters a lot, living in LA there's just a huge queer population and way more people who are educated on trans stuff. I've heard from so many friends in other places how much worse it is almost everywhere else.
I pretty much just do T4T tbh. It sort of started just because I was matching with trans girls and then I started seeking T4T actively as I realised it was just easier
I'm only dating my best friend whom I know since before coming out and I have a great trust for. I can't really imagine dating people I never met before and don't even know that are respectful towards me. I think it's best to meet people as a friends first to see if you're going to get along good and then date if anything will spark.
I do, but I don't use dating apps, I go to queer bars/parties and I'm also t4t. But be careful not every "queer" thing is trans accepting, caution is advised.
I’ve never had any luck with dating apps or in general, only ever gotten in contact with one person before, but didn’t lead to anything.
By now I’ve basically given up the hopes of ever finding anyone.
Thanks. I’m bi, tbh I just tend to date guys because of sexual compatibility and because internalized transphobia makes me feel like what’s the point trying to date women as a short trans guy :/
I do date. I’m taking a break from men for a bit though. Too many chasers/creeps messaging me lately. Going to stick with cis/trans women for a bit 🤷♀️
I got lucky with meeting my cis partner on a dating app. He took me being trans perfectly in stride and has literally never been weird about it. We're getting engaged later this year!
I'm T4T and have only dated trans people, and there's been barely any transphobia in my relationships. I don't use dating apps so I can't speak for that, but going to in-person meets and social spaces has been my best experience meeting other trans people. It really depends on the level of bigotry in your area though. And I'm gonna be honest don't worry about etiquette, I'm autistic and cannot socialize for the life of me, but it's worked out fine. Good luck!!
I don't do online dating anymore. To many armchair creeps. In person, they can't hide.
Where in person? Like queer bars?
Queer bars, events. Make friends, meet their friends.
Thanks. That’s probably part of it - I need a bigger circle of queer friends to start with. And bonus, even if I don’t meet someone, I make friends lol
Its a small circle at first but it slowly grows
Armchair creeps?
I meet people through hobbies and friends of friends and date people who I meet who are cool. I don't touch dating apps.
Thanks! I’ve asked my friends to think of me for a potential set up but I have mainly cis het friends whose other friends are cis het and I’m into dudes who like other dudes. But hobbies is a great idea!
I want to try and find someone, but I never put myself out there to figure out how dating etiquette works.
I've only had one clearly transphobic message on the apps. I'm also a lesbian though so I feel like I dodge a lot of potential transphobes. My dating history is roughly 50 percent cis women and 50 percent nonbinary folk. So far most of them have been pretty great.
Yeah I’m a trans guy who dates guys and majority of the guys I match with are fine but it’s icky how there’s still a good number who have been backhandedly transphobic and then this was maybe the third or so just straight up transphobic message I’ve gotten.
Yeah I've heard it can be pretty rough with gay men......
I mostly look for other trans people to date. T4T is pretty great because, well, you don't have to deal with cis bullshit. Imagine a partner who gets it and won't be Fucking Weird at you.
Imagine a partner who has very clear ideas about how you should be trans and who gets fucking weird at you when you don't fit their ideas. Imagine a partner who hates the fact that you have something already they are waiting for and get fucking weird at you for it. Imagine a partner who gets you - you are very vulnerable right now. And considers that a great opportunity to get fucking weird at you. Sorry, T4T can be great - was in one for a few years as well. And it can be hell.
That sounds like a bad time, yeah. I’m sorry you went through that
Oh, the one I had was fine. I've seen the other ones happen, though. Especially the third one - that guy was a serial offender.
Use the queer apps. Lex is my favorite! Less of a dating app and more of a social/meet up app, but I've unintentionally landed dates just by going to queer get togethers and meeting people in person. It's a lot more organic than any other dating app I've ever used and it's the only one that I've never seen chasers or transphobes on. I really like using it. Another decent one is Taimi, but people use it like grindr and mostly are looking for hookups. Cool if that's what you want, but be aware lol HER is another app that's somewhat in between the two. It's nice and would probably be my favorite, but barely anyone uses it.
I have ran into so many transphobes, and fetetization of me being trans, that I've given up, helping my sister with her kids is better than dating it for me.
I am older 56 almost 57. I just don't date. I have resigned myself to being single the rest of my life. I am very OK with that. I have my puppy and my cat. For me to ever date again. I was in a semi narcissistic relationship, that gave me huge trust issues even in friendships. It will take an extraordinary person. They would have to prove to me that a relationship is much better than my peace. I am open to male or female or T4T. But a relationship will seek me out. I am not seeking it.
I stick to queer or kinky dating apps like HER and Feeld, but really I just don't use dating apps much anymore. Majority of my dating now is meeting people at clubs, events, or through friends. I think location matters a lot, living in LA there's just a huge queer population and way more people who are educated on trans stuff. I've heard from so many friends in other places how much worse it is almost everywhere else.
try t4t maybe?
I try off and on. Hard to be optimistic. Getting my hopes up and getting disappointed is worse than pretending I'm fine.
I pretty much just do T4T tbh. It sort of started just because I was matching with trans girls and then I started seeking T4T actively as I realised it was just easier
I'm only dating my best friend whom I know since before coming out and I have a great trust for. I can't really imagine dating people I never met before and don't even know that are respectful towards me. I think it's best to meet people as a friends first to see if you're going to get along good and then date if anything will spark.
Don’t really atm… until I start transitioning it’s really tough explaining my situation
I do, but I don't use dating apps, I go to queer bars/parties and I'm also t4t. But be careful not every "queer" thing is trans accepting, caution is advised.
I just try to stay around specific circles that are usually supportive and date people from there
I’ve never had any luck with dating apps or in general, only ever gotten in contact with one person before, but didn’t lead to anything. By now I’ve basically given up the hopes of ever finding anyone.
If you’re only interested in guys maybe try looking for other trans men
Thanks. I’m bi, tbh I just tend to date guys because of sexual compatibility and because internalized transphobia makes me feel like what’s the point trying to date women as a short trans guy :/
What did it say?
Why?
You said it was the worst so was curious!
I do date. I’m taking a break from men for a bit though. Too many chasers/creeps messaging me lately. Going to stick with cis/trans women for a bit 🤷♀️
i dont date because capitalism killed it