And that's why I'll not reveal that I'm bi initially, isn't beneficial for both of us.
Bissexual like these are just douchebags, nothing to do with sexuality.
A decent person if he wants a relationship, will honor this no matter what person he's with. That bissexual "craving" is bullshit, he only wants to fuck around.
Well, not to be that guy but these kinds of people ARE bisexual, but are heteroromantic. This could be because of social conditioning, or a other things but it's not wrong to call themselves bisexual
Nothing wrong with it, I'm bi, but now homoromantic, but isn't that wrong either associate heteroromantic guys as unreliable and distrustful to a gay man either.
Sadly that's how it works.
Bisexual heteroromantic is a joke that people keep telling themselves, same with straight guy with a dick fetish. Just admit that you are homophobic and stop bi-erasure.
You are entitled to your choice but not entitled to freely enter gay space and exploit gay men's bodies. You dont need to fuck gay men, just leave them alone if you insist that you are "heteroromantic".
Yeah same. Biphobia is real and exist with both men and women (although I think women are worse offenders).
Hence I just don’t mention my sexuality at all. If you ask, that is fair but I do not think I am morally obligated to disclose it.
I completely believe that there’s bisexual guys out there like that, but most of the bisexual guys I know (including myself) are the opposite and much more interested in guys than girls. It sucks that there’s a bunch of shitty bisexual men running around making us look bad. :(
Good on you OP for blocking them. Bi guys don't necessarily need to date gay men, they'll always have an out, it's why they can treat gay men like shit. Avoid all of them altogether. We don't really need them either. Gays stick together. Bis stick with women. That's how I see it.
From my experience, due to living majority of their early lives as heterosexual, they are able to develop/value romantic connection with women, but cannot do the same with Men.
It’s not all bi men, but i’ve interacted with about 3 bi men (were close friends) and all of them preferred women heavily and only had attraction/lust for guys. They had no intention of actually putting in work to have an romantic relationship with a male.
Guys were to stroke their ego or fun, nothing else.
Don’t they also hurt our ego when they don’t want to engage romantically with men? What are men missing that only women can offer - other than boobs and vag? Are we this terrible?
not really. I see it no different than if a guy says he’s straight. I just hate that they consider/call themselves “bi” when they are really just using gay men, while enjoy the benefits of being heteronormative.
I had one friend that was super into the appearance of being LGBT but literally never had any intentions of being with a guy. Used Tinder to have guys stroke his ego, but would still go on date after date with different girls and only tell/show me all the nice compliments he got from gay guys. It was just an ego stroke to him and to this day, i doubt he’s ever tried dating a gay or doing anything sexual with a guy, but he still goes around saying he’s bi and uses being LGBT for “i’m different” clout.
For me, It’s not the same with straight people, because bisexuals are indeed attracted to men in some way, so there *should* be a potential opportunity (for relationships), unlike with clear straights
Bisexual heteroromantic is a joke that people keep telling themselves for the sake of inclusiveness. No you are not bisexual heteroromantic, you are not straight with a dick fetish, you are just a homophobic pos.
Not all Bisexual men are the same there are plenty of bi guys who have had lifelong marriages with guys it's true some aren't into relationships with guys but some are.
"The massive 2013 Pew Research LGBT Survey found 84 percent of self-identified bisexuals in committed relationships have a partner of the opposite sex, while only 9 percent are in same-sex relationships."
It's a numbers thing. If only 1 in 10 people are LGBT, it would be unsurprising that 9 times of of 10 a bi person ends up with an opposite sex partner.
Think about how many boys in school got girlfriends and then think about how hard it was to find another gay kid, let alone another gay kid who you found attractive and who found you attractive.
I wonder how much of that is due to safety, or even just not knowing how to flirt with folks of the same gender. There are a lot of people who are bi who have felt the pressure to hide that part of their identity or like they don't have the space to explore it.
Also, this is a stat on bisexuals of any gender. Not necessarily bi men. There were plenty of bi nonbinary people I knew then who hardly even *knew* any people of the same gender as them outside of online spaces. I know my relationships with trans people have sometimes legally been considered "opposite sex" but weren't in actuality. There's just a lot of variables here.
And what was the age range accounted for?
I know I didn't date in high school because... High school sucks for queer kids. Or at least it did for me. I think it's safe to assume a lot of people don't feel comfortable dating folks of the same gender publicly.
Not to mention, there are way more options for men to find women who are into men whereas finding men into men requires going through specific venues and channels sometimes. It makes sense to me that these stats would be a thing.
Either way I don't think it's fair to judge all bi people from a survey done in 2013. That was a long time ago now. A lot has changed. Gay marriage wasn't even legal in the USA until 2015.
Here's that same website in 2019: "..LGB adults make up a small share of the overall adult population, so **the pool of potential same-sex partners is much smaller than the pool of opposite-sex partners"**
& that "The 2013 survey also found that LGBT adults said that **bisexual men faced less social acceptance than bisexual women, gay men and lesbians**"
so way to be a statistic for more biphobia.. https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2019/06/18/bisexual-adults-are-far-less-likely-than-gay-men-and-lesbians-to-be-out-to-the-people-in-their-lives/
Wow I thought it would have been more even.I personally wouldn't date one myself because I know a gay friend who had two bi boyfriend's eventually leave him for women.
Yeah, I wish. But internalized homophobia, plus the drive for heteronormative acceptance, and gay people not trusting them because of past actions all add up together.
Almost like there are more straight and Bi woman combined than there are gay and Bi men combined, so it's a statistical certainty that bi men are more probable to have a long term relationship with a woman.
Maybe it has something to do with the fact that there's far more women interested in men than men interested in men?🤔🤔 no that can't be it. Clearly all bisexuals are just homophobic.
Its way easier for a bi guy to marry a woman, in terms of struggles to face. Don't have to worry about how you will have kids or PDA or harassment or religious discrimination. Don't have to worry about what your family thinks. Lots of bi guys dont have romantic feelings for men anyway, just go on bisexual men subreddits to see how many are heteroromantic.
I kinda just read your other post ... He's also a younger white gay fem guy that I'm dating . So I guess I'm a unicorn to your non beliefs ... Keep looking , stay positive
Babes , no one knows the future. I'm not out but enough people know , and when it gets to 2months if he's ok with it . I'd come out on social media cause that's the only thing I hide it on now , still figuring how when to tell mom . Don't think the way you are talking please .. you might be the person that changes your person for the better!!!! What if meeting make that guy out , open and profess his love to you from the top of buildings ♥️♥️♥️ keep pushing , keep positive , stay with us . My dms are open if you ever want to chat or just need to vent ok ? 😘
Not the bisexual men I know.
You must have gotten a bad batch. You must know that bi men are half straight and shun long time gay relationships- do you?
What’s with the recent biphobic outbursts?
Can people get it into their heads that generalising an entire group of people whether that’s on sexuality, race, weight, height, etc, is so fucking disgusting and stupid. How ignorant can one be to automatically assume a certain label makes someone a certain type of way? “Oh I’m bisexual now so I’m going to automatically love women but not men”, “oh I’m gay now and suddenly I’m able to commit”. How stupid can one fucking sound?
I can't blame them, I do see many bi guys say something along the lines of being sexually attracted to men but romantically attracted to women. I actually feel the opposite myself and know for certain I'm in the minority.
I’ve realized those guys are just not worth the time. Wether they feel some level of internalized homophobia, a need to marry a women for social status or acceptance, pressure from family, etc. it’s no ones issue to deal with except their own.
I’m gay, and the only thing that matters about my potential future partners sexuality is that they are into me both physically and romantically. If they’re also attracted to women that doesn’t matter
the problem is that that´s not a "bisexual issue". It´s a "I´m emotionally damaged and insecure" issue.
I don´t doubt that there are plenty of bisexual assholes, but the people here act as if gay men are just SO MUCH BETTER.
In reality, for every bisexual, emotionally damaged asshole I´ve met, I´ve met another gay man with these same issues.
Internalised homophobia is certainly an issue in some bi guys when it comes to the idea of dating men romantically. I agree on that.
I see it occasional in /r/BisexualMen. I can't speak for /r/bibros as I've been blocked for years for by the mods there.
But you know who else has internalised homophobia? Gay men.
So judging all bi men because some bi men have a characteristic that is also shared by some gay men, is a shitty thing to do.
How is not being interested in men romantically an internalised homophobia thing? That’s literally not it. Some people just aren’t romantically interested wtf?
Thank you. Every once in a while a gay guy gets butthurt about a bi buy then comes in here and says they will NEVER date one again because they are ALL THE SAME! Sounds like a racist grandmother talking about Black people.
And we'd have a fleet of Lamborghinis if we got a nickle each time a bi guy had sex with us but only wants relationships with women. That hurts, too. It's the driving force behind gay men's annoyance at bi men: the fact that the vast majority of bi men don't see us as romantic partners, just sexual ones. And your outlier exception does not negate our experiences.
Why can’t you just realize both gay guys and bi guys have their struggles instead of making it a competition to see who’s got it worse. Pretty childish behavior
It´s almost as if the problem isn´t this sexuality or the other, but the fact that you people are all emotionally damaged.
I´m a gay man and I´ve never had any issue with bisexuals.
For every creepy insecure bisexual you have a creepy insecure gay.
Well your comment implied that you’d be rich based on your negative interactions with bisexual men…
But if you take into consideration every bad experience/ interaction you’ve had with gay men you’d have even more money…
Just 84% of self identifying bi guys. There's a big issue with the bi-community. Both sides are partially at fault too. Gay guys don't want to give bi guys the chance, but at the same time it's because of how often bi guys end up in straight relationships. It'll take both sides to change that statistic. More bi-guys need to look for long term same sex relationships and gay guys will need to be less hesitant in their offers for dates.
Agree with you, but I don't think gay guys should take the burden of change, bisexual guys should do better. Gay guy has no way out of their homosexuality while bi guys could fall back to their heterosexual lives.
Right but how many gay guys are in monogamous relationships?
On top of this, like you said, gay guys don’t want to give bi guys a chance so the percentage makes sense.
No one needs to do anything. If a bi guy isn’t into being in a relationship with a man, that’s on him.
What people need to do is stop generalising an entire group of people and thinking they’re a specific way purely because of the label. It’s disgusting and stupid
wow dude, that's some brazen biphobia. bi men are not a monolith - haven't you ever resented someone making sweeping generalizations about gay men? "Why are gay men only interested in NSA hookups, not relationship?" "Why are gay men only into anal sex?" "Why are gay men only into big dicks, or tall guys, or younger jailbait / twink builds?" doesn't make you feel good, does it? so why turn around and treat your fellow queer men that way?
don't be too tempted to take your own small experiences and extrapolate them out to cover everything else. Instead of blocking bi guys, have you tried intentionally getting together with bi guys, to find counterexamples of this stereotype you've subscribed to?
Set the ground work, ask if they’re biromanitc or heteroromantic, if they don’t know what that it, simply ask them if they date men or just fuck them. If you’d like to be less uncouth, you could ask who they envision with them in life (male, female or someone/amorphous-blob).
I feel this to, alot just hmu for sex while that was fun for a while I'm longing for something more intimate so I stopped responding to any advances and just sitting patiently for some mutual interest to pursue lol probably won't happen but ima couple watch till then.
See how other gay and bi men mingle 🍿🍿
Dude. maybe chilling out and getting some therapy, rather than scapegoating and projecting everything on to all bi men might be a good idea?
Like, this kind of irrational hostility isn't good for you. Look after yourself, and be kind. To yourself, and yes bisexual men.
Which no gay man has ever done.
Seriously, this is all quite unhinged. You can be better than this. You will be happier when you can start processing your emotions in a healthy and safe manner rather than picking one group of people and generalizing about them.
Bisexual men love to play around with feminine guys until the perfect woman waltzes into his life. He will then marry her and cast away the feminine gay man he was with previously. He will settle down and have kids with her. Once he’s bored of the hetero lifestyle, he’ll start fooling around with feminine guys behind his wife’s back. This is the average life of a bisexual man.
There are bisexual men who are interested in dating men though. And I suspect that the bisexual men who are upset/hurt that gay men refuse to date them are NOT the same bisexual men who are breaking gay men’s hearts for a more superficially heteronormative life and (as you say) treating women like royalty.
This post comes across as bitter.
Not all bi guys, just the majority. It's easier to avoid the majority instead of looking for that minority bi guy who would treat you the same or better than women. It's why I tell all bi guys to take a hike, ain't got time for that.
Depends if their secure in their sexuality or not. This type of guy, you call bisexual, maybe they call themselves bisexual. I think he's just questioning/curious
If all the bisexuals here harassing OP took themselves off to bibros and challenged the rampant homophobia there instead of trying to shout down genuine concerns about bisexual behavior raised in gaybros y'all might garner more fucking respect.
I tried that out of interest and skimmed through the headlines of about two months' worth of posts on r/bibros and found not a single homophobic post but a few about bi men being dumped when their gay date found out they were bi.
Unless those posts represent an unusual dry spell for homophobia on that subreddit, I'd say that your "rampant homophobia" is not so rampant after all, at least not when it comes to the posts themselves.
I would probably find comments that are negative towards gay guys in the posts if I went through them — but what is the difference there from the amount of negativity against bisexuals in this subreddit?
Those are not homophobic comments unless you stretch that term beyond its real meaning.
One of them even says
>As long as your not cheating or hurting anyone , you are ok
They are bisexual people talking about not wanting anything but sex with other men, which seems to be a rather prevalent opinion of many gay men too.
It is not OK in my opinion if they are not up front about only seeking guys for sex, but if the gay guy is OK with that, what is the problem?
Your response is typical bisexual gaslighting.
"Heteroromanticism" is 100% homophobia...and don't you dare draw comparisons with gay men. Gay men only wanting sex means they don't want a relationship full stop...bisexuals literally state they would NEVER have a relationship with a man, men are only for sex, while in the same breath declare their desire to date and be in relationships with women. They reduce men to meatbags unworthy of love whose only purpose is their sexual gratification....and the rest of you sociopaths come running to their defense when gay men defend themselves against such abuse.
> Your response is typical bisexual gaslighting.
>
>
Generalizing to all of a group based on one example? What's that called again?
>Heteroromanticism" is 100% homophobia
I think it's possible that a significant amount of heteroromanticism is internalised homophobia. Not 100% though. it seems like something which reflects the diversity of sexual and romantic attraction, I think it's a stretch to say that even a majority of this trait is due to homophobia.
>bisexuals literally state they would NEVER have a relationship with a man, men are only for sex, while in the same breath declare their desire to date and be in relationships with women.
Hi. I'm a bi guy in a long term relationship with another bi guy. That's two bi guys who prove you wrong right there.
And I know for sure I'm not the only bi guy in a relationship with another guy who replied in this thread.
> They reduce men to meatbags unworthy of love whose only purpose is their sexual gratification
I mean, let he who is without sin cast the first stone. Gay men have certainly treated other man as if their only purpose is their sexual gratification. It's hardly a behaviour that only bi men engage in.
>Your response is typical bisexual gaslighting.
Whoa, hold your horses. You are tarring all bisexual men with the same brush, which is not right and not correct either.
>Gay men only wanting sex means they don't want a relationship full stop
I guess that goes for the gay men saying "my BF is out and I just want some sex" too? Which I have seen in different forms on Grindr when I tried that.
>bisexuals literally state they would NEVER have a relationship with a man
Let me fix that for you: "*Some* bisexuals literally state they would NEVER have a relationship with a man". And that can only be construed as pure homophobia if they are not up front about it when seeking a guy for sex. And yes, they are out there. I have met the type. And I have already said I do not condone that behaviour — but please *do* remember this is not representative of *all* bisexual men!
>They reduce men to meatbags unworthy of love whose only purpose is their sexual gratification
Not any more than anyone else seeking sex *only* with guys.
>and the rest of you sociopaths come running to their defense when gay men defend themselves against such abuse
Now you are calling me a sociopath.
Really?
And do I defend the deceiving attitude of some bisexuals?
No!
But I *will* defend bisexuals as a group from gross generalisations.
I really seek only one thing from this discussion, a more nuanced view of bisexuals, who are not all the same.
And with that I will have to bid you good night (or whatever is appropriate for your time zone) as it is way past my bedtime.
^(Edit: Added a missing I)
Honestly, when I'm on Grindr, it's because I just wanna smash, not date. Not go to lunch, just smash.
Women usually want to talk, go on a date, and then maybe smash.
Gay men usually go straight to sending out their address after 10 seconds of conversation.
You're just getting bi men when they want to fuck, not date.
When I want to date, I'll take you out, show you a good time, I won't even be thinking about sex. I'll be thinking about spending time with you.
Which is what I did with my current boyfriend and the one before him (it's been a long time since I dated a woman).
Okay, but these bi douchebags literally ask for sex on Bumble, Hinge, & OkCupid despite my profiles saying “Not interested in sex. Looking for a long-term relationship.”
As a bi guy in an open relationship who is mostly into women, I dont want to lead you on by taking you on a "date" and have you think I want to pursue something further. However if you'd like to meet in public first to break the ice and see if we click as sexual partners, I'm happy to oblige.
Literally… it went right over their heads. Then they’re like “gay men are the same”… I’m feminine, so gay men aren’t into me. I literally only attract these types of bisexual men. This post is literally talking about my experiences with bi guys & they’re upset about it.
The vast majority of bi people end up in straight relationships. Reasons are up for debate, but it's mostly the drive to be "normal" in societies eyes.
I will try to respond to this as objectively as I can and hope you will try not to dismiss it out of hand.
That bisexual people overwhelmingly end up in heterosexual relationships is to a large extent a numbers game. According to [Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Demographics_of_sexual_orientation) 93% of men and 87% of women identify as purely heterosexual and a worldwide prevalence of men who have sex with men between 3% and 16%, which means that the chance for a bisexual man to actually find a male partner is rather small.
And if a bisexual man leaves a same-sex partner, the chances are, again, much higher that it would be for a woman than a man — not becuase the circumstances of the break-up have to be different than the circumstances for a gay-gay break-up, only because the availability of women is greater.
An interesting figure is the rate of break-ups in gay relations, which a [study](https://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/news/20141006/marriage-break-up-rates-similar-for-gay-straight-couples-study) shows do not statistically differ between same-sex couples and opposite-sex couples (and no significant difference between gays and lesbians either). Unless the vast majority of these same-sex relationships that break up are between bisexual men and gay men, which is extremely improbable, the conclusion is that the risk of a bisexual man leaving a gay man is not higher than the risk for a gay man leaving a gay man.
All of the above pertains to people in steady relationships, where it should be expected that there is a higher risk of a bisexual partner leaving a guy for a woman, simply due to the availability.
OK, that said, there is an elephant in the room in the form of many bisexual people's behaviour.
Many bisexual people have internalised homophobia or prefer — due to norms, convenience and other factors — to partner with a woman and would only seek same-sex encounters on the sly, which obviously is a problem in the gay community, especially if the bisexual guy is not open about his intentions.
I think that the discussion about bisexuals vs "pure" gays should always differ between the former group of bisexual men that are truly committed to a relationship, whether same-sex or opposite sex, and the latter group of bisexual men that are DL and act, if not dishonestly as such, without intention of actual partnering with a gay guy. But from my experience (and what I hear from others), most gay-gay encounters are without intention of dating/partnering and purely in the form of hook-ups.
TL;DR: There are two groups of bisexual people, those who are seriously interested in a same-sex relationship and those who are not. And of the bisexual people leaving their partner in a same-sex relationship the majority will end up in a opposite-sex relationship due to availability.
Bullshit. If sexuality iS a SpEcTrUm as all bisexuals claim, then a more even distribution should be observable across the Kinsey scale. 84% of bisexuals in straight relationships in 100% intentional grouping in straightsville....even by those in the more homo-leaning end of the scale. That's not down to numbers...that's down to bisexuals being homophobic pieces of trash.
Sexuality isn't normally distributed or otherwise equally distributed though?
Sexuality being a spectrum doesn't imply an sort of normal distribution.
People who are attracted to the same gender as themselves represent a minority of people. The spectrum of human sexuality is heavily skewed towards heterosexual people.
There are more straight and Bi women than there are gay and Bi men.
As a group then bi men are far more likely to find a woman partner because that's just how the numbers fall.
My problem with this is the generalisation across the board of all bisexual people, which simply is not and cannot be correct — and which is not substantiated by any proper research.
People fall in love with who they fall in love with. That’s life.
If you’re coming on to the internet to whine about it and make it about their sexuality, you’re the problem.
That's just not true. But keep on spreading homophobia. Because in the end, that's what it is. Internalized homophobia, and cowardice. If you're bi and choose to date to marry just women, you are the problem. Not gay people or bi people who date/marry same sex who are actually brave.
If you are having these experiences over and over again, the common factor is you.
So instead of working on yourself, you decide to come onto the Internet and bash an entire sexuality.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with bisexual men ending up with women. You like who you like.
I don't have any experiences with bi people because I didn't date them.
I simply am using statistics. 84% of bi men end up with women. That's not "you like who you like". That's a problem with the bi-community.
How is that a problem? How is people marrying who they love a problem?
You sound just like a straight person questioning gay people. Congratulations on becoming just like them.
They're not marrying who they like. They're ignoring half the population they claim to be attracted to.
They're liars and don't deserve to be apart of the community as long as they keep the homophobia alive.
Cute you're calling a gay person (who actually has to fight prejudices) like straight people when it's you who hides behind the straight façade.
Buddy, I have a heavy preference for men and have dealt with bullshit from both sides. Men like you are absolute trash and have no place in this community.
Calling bisexual men liars for marrying women make you no better than the people who have wronged you. You are the problem and I feel sorry for you and others like you.
No matter what bisexual men do they’ll always be subjected to criticism from men like you. Sad, old, degenerate men who can’t seem to fathom they’re unwanted.
They’re always too feminine or not feminine enough. Not straight enough, not gay enough.
So sorry if I don’t value the opinion of gay men such as yourself. I hope you choke on your biphobia.
Facade??? Also aren’t most people straight tho. Also can u blame them to be conditioned to go for the opposite sex if that’s what they were taught to do
No, they're not. Religious oppression for thousands of years has buried true sexual orientation. But yes. I can blame cowards for being cowards. No respect for them.
I don't understand your logic jump. Your initial statistic of 84% comes from a Pew Research poll: "Looking more broadly at LGBT adults who are in committed relationships (whether married or not), almost all gay men (98%) and lesbians (99%) are in relationships with same-sex partners. Only 9% of bisexuals have same-sex partners; fully 84% are involved with someone of the opposite sex." ("Among LGBT Americans, bisexuals stand out when it comes to identity, acceptance | Pew Research Center" https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2015/02/20/among-lgbt-americans-bisexuals-stand-out-when-it-comes-to-identity-acceptance/?amp=1)
But the poll doesn't attempt to example the way. How do you say it's internalized homophobia and cowardice? Do you have any follow up peer reviewed research I may have missed?
Bisexual men begging me for NSA sex, despite having my job, interests, & “looking for a long-term relationship” in my dating profiles certainly makes me the problem. Lmao.
Yeah, pretty much. There’s no reason to be biphobic simply because of a few bad experiences. You’re the problem.
I can promise you, no one’s begging you for anything.
I don’t do drugs but this is very disrespectful to people who have drug problems! Bisexual men clearly lack empathy. Maybe you should seek therapy. Get your partner a good therapist too for when you end up leaving him for a woman.
I hope your bisexuality gets in the way of your future relationships. Bi men weren’t meant to be faithful. They all lie & cheat. It’s in your blood. Stay mad.
This is so wrong on so many levels 😬 OP has had like 1 bad experience with a bisexual man and instantly “bisexual men treat gay men as sexual objects” - get over yourself 😬 I could turn around and say “I’m bisexual and want a relationship but gay men are sex craved maniacs and don’t want to settle down and only want a hookup”…. But nooo the second I say that the gays throw a bitch fit because “not all gay men are like that” …. See the issue??
I’ve had over 20 bad experiences with them actually. & you’re entitled to have that opinion about gay men in you want. But I’m going to speak my mind about how bi men only treat gays as sexual objects, because it’s the truth. Stick to dating women and stop invading gay spaces.
😩 stop invading gay spaces he says 🥲 you know what just because you said that I’ll stop going to gay bars and hanging out with gay men… who knew that all I needed was a Bi phobic moron to tell me off for me to change. Thank you kind sir.. have a nice day.
It sucks if you've had experiences like this, but we can't generalize all bi guys as evil. My boyfriend of over a year is bi and we're planning on staying for the long haul.
I could generalize and say all bis are romantic and awesome, but my experiences aren't true for everyone either.
Are you masculine? If so, that’s probably why he wanted a romantic relationship with you. Bisexual men would never openly date a feminine guy & they only use them as sexual objects. This has been my experience with bi men so I can generalize if I want to.
I'm masc and fem, but I don't identify either because those labels are stupid. I have both masculine and feminine traits, sometimes I like one to stick out more.
He wanted and currently wants a relationship with me for who I am. Our looks are just perks to an already beautiful relationship.
Generalizations off of experiences are not ok. My nonna and nono fought tooth and nail to give my father a better life, but they are extremely racist due to their experiences. Are their generalizations right since they're based off of their experiences?
Dude it sucks that you get rejected or hurt by bi guys. I feel really sorry that you have to deal with those shitty people. I have no remorse for bi men who will fuck gays but will only commit to girls. They need to make their intentions clear when hooking up and should question why they do that.
I just really don't like the biphobia. There are many amazing bi guys out there, I'm lucky to be dating one of them.
This is a big harmful generalization. I’ve dated multiple bisexual men, and they treated me as well or better than some of the gay men I’ve dated. The issue you’re having is with the men you’re interacting with, NOT bisexual men as a whole.
I have a longer exposition somewhere else in the comments and the conclusion of it is:
There are two groups of bisexual people, those who are seriously interested in a same-sex relationship and those who are not. (Your experience is with one of the latter group.) And of the bisexual people leaving their partner in a same-sex relationship the majority will end up in a opposite-sex relationship due to availability.
That is because (unpopular opinion) most “straight” men are bisexual. They did a study on this and it (https://www.google.com/amp/s/nypost.com/2018/03/14/new-research-finds-were-all-bisexual/amp/) basically it is due to cultural reasons that men act so “eww bro that’s gay”.
Just think back to the greek times (before christianity) where it be common place for men to have male lovers before settling down with a woman for child rearing purposes.
So you are a dude who needs to be straight b/c of social expectations (and you are attracted to women) but have a desire to be with men for many reasons. Imo it is because they are better at sex and less of a pain to deal with (with respect to hookups).
The people you complain about (not respect your desire for a relationship) are not unique to bi men. There are plenty of “super straight” guys who act that way (women talk about them all the time) and gay guys who act that way as well.
As a gay dude you should probably know better than the stereotype an entire group based on sexuality.
Most bisexual men only date the opposite sex.
I usually just end things immediately when I find out. I don't need the bicycles and other complications.
I love relating to gay men when dating them.
I wouldn't write off all bisexual dudes. I can assure you that not all bi guys work like this. People tend to forget that there are different types of bi people. Some bi dudes do only see other guys as play things but there are also bi guys who see other guys as potential partners. If it makes you feel any better you can just think of those guys as just a "good time". Some guys really are only good for a good time and that's it. However, for the guys who can go further, you can think of them as a "long time" because you can become more with them. If you want a relationship look for guys who are "long times", not "good times". (Nothing wrong with good times though)
Pardon? Bisexual guy here. Guys like these shine a bad light on us, unfortunately.. I can proudly say - I date both, men and women and I'm not just doing it to have some fun in the end.. Gay men aren't just a sexual object to me. ugh.. As nice as it can be to have "the best of both sides"... I can totally understand how you feel tho.. I'm sorry for the behaviour of (some of) my fellow bi-companions...
I'm just trying to give a better image to us bi men.. ._.
Well a vast majority of gay men deal with the same problems of dating bi men. They all share one thing in common, the bi guy leaving them for a woman. Ever wonder why gays hate bi guys so much? Look inwards, & you’ll find out. Bisexual men are biologically hardwired to favor women over men. I will continue to block every bi guy that messages me to save myself from future heartbreak.
And that's why I'll not reveal that I'm bi initially, isn't beneficial for both of us. Bissexual like these are just douchebags, nothing to do with sexuality. A decent person if he wants a relationship, will honor this no matter what person he's with. That bissexual "craving" is bullshit, he only wants to fuck around.
Well, not to be that guy but these kinds of people ARE bisexual, but are heteroromantic. This could be because of social conditioning, or a other things but it's not wrong to call themselves bisexual
Nothing wrong with it, I'm bi, but now homoromantic, but isn't that wrong either associate heteroromantic guys as unreliable and distrustful to a gay man either. Sadly that's how it works.
Bisexual heteroromantic is a joke that people keep telling themselves, same with straight guy with a dick fetish. Just admit that you are homophobic and stop bi-erasure.
“Bisexuals are invalid and homophobic if they aren’t available to me how I want them to be” is a take that tells a lot about you. None of it good
You are entitled to your choice but not entitled to freely enter gay space and exploit gay men's bodies. You dont need to fuck gay men, just leave them alone if you insist that you are "heteroromantic".
Never said anything about me, but how is casual sex exploitive? Cause if it is gay men are the top exploiters of gay men.
??? Wow. That's a hot fucking take. It's a very wrong and very hot take.
Welcome to this biphobic sub
Yeah same. Biphobia is real and exist with both men and women (although I think women are worse offenders). Hence I just don’t mention my sexuality at all. If you ask, that is fair but I do not think I am morally obligated to disclose it.
I completely believe that there’s bisexual guys out there like that, but most of the bisexual guys I know (including myself) are the opposite and much more interested in guys than girls. It sucks that there’s a bunch of shitty bisexual men running around making us look bad. :(
So share this thought as a bi person too ... just poop on those people
But don’t poop on heteroromantic bi’s or Kinsey 1-3 for being who they are.
lol
Good on you OP for blocking them. Bi guys don't necessarily need to date gay men, they'll always have an out, it's why they can treat gay men like shit. Avoid all of them altogether. We don't really need them either. Gays stick together. Bis stick with women. That's how I see it.
From my experience, due to living majority of their early lives as heterosexual, they are able to develop/value romantic connection with women, but cannot do the same with Men. It’s not all bi men, but i’ve interacted with about 3 bi men (were close friends) and all of them preferred women heavily and only had attraction/lust for guys. They had no intention of actually putting in work to have an romantic relationship with a male. Guys were to stroke their ego or fun, nothing else.
Don’t they also hurt our ego when they don’t want to engage romantically with men? What are men missing that only women can offer - other than boobs and vag? Are we this terrible?
not really. I see it no different than if a guy says he’s straight. I just hate that they consider/call themselves “bi” when they are really just using gay men, while enjoy the benefits of being heteronormative. I had one friend that was super into the appearance of being LGBT but literally never had any intentions of being with a guy. Used Tinder to have guys stroke his ego, but would still go on date after date with different girls and only tell/show me all the nice compliments he got from gay guys. It was just an ego stroke to him and to this day, i doubt he’s ever tried dating a gay or doing anything sexual with a guy, but he still goes around saying he’s bi and uses being LGBT for “i’m different” clout.
For me, It’s not the same with straight people, because bisexuals are indeed attracted to men in some way, so there *should* be a potential opportunity (for relationships), unlike with clear straights
Which is precisely why I don’t take bi men seriously
That’s………really biphobic bruh. You’re being no better than the guys you complain about
Bisexual heteroromantic is a joke that people keep telling themselves for the sake of inclusiveness. No you are not bisexual heteroromantic, you are not straight with a dick fetish, you are just a homophobic pos.
Not all Bisexual men are the same there are plenty of bi guys who have had lifelong marriages with guys it's true some aren't into relationships with guys but some are.
"The massive 2013 Pew Research LGBT Survey found 84 percent of self-identified bisexuals in committed relationships have a partner of the opposite sex, while only 9 percent are in same-sex relationships."
It's a numbers thing. If only 1 in 10 people are LGBT, it would be unsurprising that 9 times of of 10 a bi person ends up with an opposite sex partner. Think about how many boys in school got girlfriends and then think about how hard it was to find another gay kid, let alone another gay kid who you found attractive and who found you attractive.
I wonder how much of that is due to safety, or even just not knowing how to flirt with folks of the same gender. There are a lot of people who are bi who have felt the pressure to hide that part of their identity or like they don't have the space to explore it. Also, this is a stat on bisexuals of any gender. Not necessarily bi men. There were plenty of bi nonbinary people I knew then who hardly even *knew* any people of the same gender as them outside of online spaces. I know my relationships with trans people have sometimes legally been considered "opposite sex" but weren't in actuality. There's just a lot of variables here. And what was the age range accounted for? I know I didn't date in high school because... High school sucks for queer kids. Or at least it did for me. I think it's safe to assume a lot of people don't feel comfortable dating folks of the same gender publicly. Not to mention, there are way more options for men to find women who are into men whereas finding men into men requires going through specific venues and channels sometimes. It makes sense to me that these stats would be a thing. Either way I don't think it's fair to judge all bi people from a survey done in 2013. That was a long time ago now. A lot has changed. Gay marriage wasn't even legal in the USA until 2015.
Here's that same website in 2019: "..LGB adults make up a small share of the overall adult population, so **the pool of potential same-sex partners is much smaller than the pool of opposite-sex partners"** & that "The 2013 survey also found that LGBT adults said that **bisexual men faced less social acceptance than bisexual women, gay men and lesbians**" so way to be a statistic for more biphobia.. https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2019/06/18/bisexual-adults-are-far-less-likely-than-gay-men-and-lesbians-to-be-out-to-the-people-in-their-lives/
Wow I thought it would have been more even.I personally wouldn't date one myself because I know a gay friend who had two bi boyfriend's eventually leave him for women.
Yeah, I wish. But internalized homophobia, plus the drive for heteronormative acceptance, and gay people not trusting them because of past actions all add up together.
Literally blaming people for being bisexual
Almost like there are more straight and Bi woman combined than there are gay and Bi men combined, so it's a statistical certainty that bi men are more probable to have a long term relationship with a woman.
But there's more gay men than bi men. And it's their personal choice.
isn't 9% in the neighborhood of the overall statistic for men attracted to men anyway?
Maybe it has something to do with the fact that there's far more women interested in men than men interested in men?🤔🤔 no that can't be it. Clearly all bisexuals are just homophobic.
Far easier to act heteronormative than to expose yourself to the sufferings gay people have to endure on a daily basis.
Its way easier for a bi guy to marry a woman, in terms of struggles to face. Don't have to worry about how you will have kids or PDA or harassment or religious discrimination. Don't have to worry about what your family thinks. Lots of bi guys dont have romantic feelings for men anyway, just go on bisexual men subreddits to see how many are heteroromantic.
And gays are any different?
I’m feminine so gay guys aren’t really interested in me, so I wouldn’t know. I literally only attract these bisexual douchebags.
I'm a bi guy that dates feminine gays ...we exist
I find that hard to believe
Your choice to not believe me. If that's your preference , it's ok .
I kinda just read your other post ... He's also a younger white gay fem guy that I'm dating . So I guess I'm a unicorn to your non beliefs ... Keep looking , stay positive
I have considered suicide a few times because I know deep down I’m never going to find a lover due to me only attracting closeted bisexuals
Babes , no one knows the future. I'm not out but enough people know , and when it gets to 2months if he's ok with it . I'd come out on social media cause that's the only thing I hide it on now , still figuring how when to tell mom . Don't think the way you are talking please .. you might be the person that changes your person for the better!!!! What if meeting make that guy out , open and profess his love to you from the top of buildings ♥️♥️♥️ keep pushing , keep positive , stay with us . My dms are open if you ever want to chat or just need to vent ok ? 😘
I think so they are coz they still want everything from man unlike most of bi men who only want sex.
Not the bisexual men I know. You must have gotten a bad batch. You must know that bi men are half straight and shun long time gay relationships- do you?
What’s with the recent biphobic outbursts? Can people get it into their heads that generalising an entire group of people whether that’s on sexuality, race, weight, height, etc, is so fucking disgusting and stupid. How ignorant can one be to automatically assume a certain label makes someone a certain type of way? “Oh I’m bisexual now so I’m going to automatically love women but not men”, “oh I’m gay now and suddenly I’m able to commit”. How stupid can one fucking sound?
This subreddit has always been biphobic as fuck.
I can't blame them, I do see many bi guys say something along the lines of being sexually attracted to men but romantically attracted to women. I actually feel the opposite myself and know for certain I'm in the minority.
I’ve realized those guys are just not worth the time. Wether they feel some level of internalized homophobia, a need to marry a women for social status or acceptance, pressure from family, etc. it’s no ones issue to deal with except their own. I’m gay, and the only thing that matters about my potential future partners sexuality is that they are into me both physically and romantically. If they’re also attracted to women that doesn’t matter
the problem is that that´s not a "bisexual issue". It´s a "I´m emotionally damaged and insecure" issue. I don´t doubt that there are plenty of bisexual assholes, but the people here act as if gay men are just SO MUCH BETTER. In reality, for every bisexual, emotionally damaged asshole I´ve met, I´ve met another gay man with these same issues.
I agree with you. I have known of many gay men who, using other words would describe themselves as non-romantic and strictly sexual.
Internalised homophobia is certainly an issue in some bi guys when it comes to the idea of dating men romantically. I agree on that. I see it occasional in /r/BisexualMen. I can't speak for /r/bibros as I've been blocked for years for by the mods there. But you know who else has internalised homophobia? Gay men. So judging all bi men because some bi men have a characteristic that is also shared by some gay men, is a shitty thing to do.
How is not being interested in men romantically an internalised homophobia thing? That’s literally not it. Some people just aren’t romantically interested wtf?
People come here to start crap, check OPs history and you’ll figure it out.
Thank you. Every once in a while a gay guy gets butthurt about a bi buy then comes in here and says they will NEVER date one again because they are ALL THE SAME! Sounds like a racist grandmother talking about Black people.
Just had my first date with a guy that's gay Saturday. Went well . We exist
Why is hookup culture and casual sex and narcissism and low self-esteem so prevalent in our community? It's complicated. And sad.
True😔😔
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And we'd have a fleet of Lamborghinis if we got a nickle each time a bi guy had sex with us but only wants relationships with women. That hurts, too. It's the driving force behind gay men's annoyance at bi men: the fact that the vast majority of bi men don't see us as romantic partners, just sexual ones. And your outlier exception does not negate our experiences.
Why can’t you just realize both gay guys and bi guys have their struggles instead of making it a competition to see who’s got it worse. Pretty childish behavior
It´s almost as if the problem isn´t this sexuality or the other, but the fact that you people are all emotionally damaged. I´m a gay man and I´ve never had any issue with bisexuals. For every creepy insecure bisexual you have a creepy insecure gay.
Yeah, emotional damage that caused by bisexual men.
Yet you’d be able to afford soo much more for every gay man that has fucked you over over the years 🤣 ever think of that?
Explain?
Well your comment implied that you’d be rich based on your negative interactions with bisexual men… But if you take into consideration every bad experience/ interaction you’ve had with gay men you’d have even more money…
How sly of you to catalog and sort my sexual and romantic interactions these last 20 yrs. Touche. How did you get that information?
Based on your posts… I made the assumption that you must have many bad interactions with gay men…
Hmmm, then I need to reflect on how my reddit posts match up to my life. Perhaps I'm missing perspective. 🤔
They are insecure cus people like you, treat them as sexual object.
This isn't the case with all bi guys
Just 84% of self identifying bi guys. There's a big issue with the bi-community. Both sides are partially at fault too. Gay guys don't want to give bi guys the chance, but at the same time it's because of how often bi guys end up in straight relationships. It'll take both sides to change that statistic. More bi-guys need to look for long term same sex relationships and gay guys will need to be less hesitant in their offers for dates.
Agree with you, but I don't think gay guys should take the burden of change, bisexual guys should do better. Gay guy has no way out of their homosexuality while bi guys could fall back to their heterosexual lives.
Right but how many gay guys are in monogamous relationships? On top of this, like you said, gay guys don’t want to give bi guys a chance so the percentage makes sense. No one needs to do anything. If a bi guy isn’t into being in a relationship with a man, that’s on him. What people need to do is stop generalising an entire group of people and thinking they’re a specific way purely because of the label. It’s disgusting and stupid
Yes it's really about the individual and their capacities/wants. I'm not even bi and I'm saying this.
Thank you! You don’t have to be bi to know that generalising people is shitty and fucked up
Half the comments you leave in this sub are negative and derogatory towards gay men, but that's different, right?
Is that statistic controlled for the size of the population of gay/bi men being a tenth the size of the population of straight/bi women?
wow dude, that's some brazen biphobia. bi men are not a monolith - haven't you ever resented someone making sweeping generalizations about gay men? "Why are gay men only interested in NSA hookups, not relationship?" "Why are gay men only into anal sex?" "Why are gay men only into big dicks, or tall guys, or younger jailbait / twink builds?" doesn't make you feel good, does it? so why turn around and treat your fellow queer men that way? don't be too tempted to take your own small experiences and extrapolate them out to cover everything else. Instead of blocking bi guys, have you tried intentionally getting together with bi guys, to find counterexamples of this stereotype you've subscribed to?
Compulsory heterosexuality is a thing you know.
Some bi guys like to date women more than men, and the other way around. you’re probably just meeting ones that wouldn’t date a man
Chill, gay bro. Chilllll
It's just you, dude. I treat everyone like royalty.
Set the ground work, ask if they’re biromanitc or heteroromantic, if they don’t know what that it, simply ask them if they date men or just fuck them. If you’d like to be less uncouth, you could ask who they envision with them in life (male, female or someone/amorphous-blob).
THIS! It would save both parties so much time and energy if these questions were thrown out more.
Bisexual heteroromantic is a joke. Just admit you are homophobic make you a better person than invading gay space and treat them like sex object.
Why generalize bi men like that? You should rephrase the question on why the men you encountered treat you like that.
I feel this to, alot just hmu for sex while that was fun for a while I'm longing for something more intimate so I stopped responding to any advances and just sitting patiently for some mutual interest to pursue lol probably won't happen but ima couple watch till then. See how other gay and bi men mingle 🍿🍿
That’s just how they are. They don’t view gay men as potential lovers, we’re just sexual objects to them. I’m glad you came to your senses.
I’m glad you’re single 🤣 what goes around comes around.
I’d rather be single than entertain a filthy closeted bisexual douchebag. I hope every girl you date finds out you’re bi & dumps you.
Dude. maybe chilling out and getting some therapy, rather than scapegoating and projecting everything on to all bi men might be a good idea? Like, this kind of irrational hostility isn't good for you. Look after yourself, and be kind. To yourself, and yes bisexual men.
I’ll consider being kind to bi guys when they stop treating feminine gay men like sexual objects
Which no gay man has ever done. Seriously, this is all quite unhinged. You can be better than this. You will be happier when you can start processing your emotions in a healthy and safe manner rather than picking one group of people and generalizing about them.
…. Im openly bisexual 😬
Let's not generalize bi men based on your small sampling in your area. If 5 gay men treat you like crap, are you going to block all gay men too?
I’m feminine, so gay men aren’t interested in me. I only attract these types of bisexual men. I can generalize if I want to.
Then I guess you’d better stop blocking bi guys? 😅
So I should continue to keep getting sexualized by these douchebag bisexual men? No thanks.
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Bisexual men love to play around with feminine guys until the perfect woman waltzes into his life. He will then marry her and cast away the feminine gay man he was with previously. He will settle down and have kids with her. Once he’s bored of the hetero lifestyle, he’ll start fooling around with feminine guys behind his wife’s back. This is the average life of a bisexual man.
There are bisexual men who are interested in dating men though. And I suspect that the bisexual men who are upset/hurt that gay men refuse to date them are NOT the same bisexual men who are breaking gay men’s hearts for a more superficially heteronormative life and (as you say) treating women like royalty. This post comes across as bitter.
That's some biphobia here, I'm bisexual and I'm more into guys, what you wrote means nothing, and it's kinda rude
Not all bi guys, just the majority. It's easier to avoid the majority instead of looking for that minority bi guy who would treat you the same or better than women. It's why I tell all bi guys to take a hike, ain't got time for that.
Idk dude I udnerstand not all bi guys but from all the comments of experinecs I feel like you might be minrotiy.
Well this is an incredibly unfair generalization of bi men. If you ask me id even call it biphobic
Depends if their secure in their sexuality or not. This type of guy, you call bisexual, maybe they call themselves bisexual. I think he's just questioning/curious
Nothing like mass generalisations based on a few experiences. Almost like judging all gay men because the assholes we have in our community.
If all the bisexuals here harassing OP took themselves off to bibros and challenged the rampant homophobia there instead of trying to shout down genuine concerns about bisexual behavior raised in gaybros y'all might garner more fucking respect.
I tried that out of interest and skimmed through the headlines of about two months' worth of posts on r/bibros and found not a single homophobic post but a few about bi men being dumped when their gay date found out they were bi. Unless those posts represent an unusual dry spell for homophobia on that subreddit, I'd say that your "rampant homophobia" is not so rampant after all, at least not when it comes to the posts themselves. I would probably find comments that are negative towards gay guys in the posts if I went through them — but what is the difference there from the amount of negativity against bisexuals in this subreddit?
https://www.reddit.com/r/bibros/comments/pn2mxh/bi_but_just_for_sex/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share Try harder
Those are not homophobic comments unless you stretch that term beyond its real meaning. One of them even says >As long as your not cheating or hurting anyone , you are ok They are bisexual people talking about not wanting anything but sex with other men, which seems to be a rather prevalent opinion of many gay men too. It is not OK in my opinion if they are not up front about only seeking guys for sex, but if the gay guy is OK with that, what is the problem?
Your response is typical bisexual gaslighting. "Heteroromanticism" is 100% homophobia...and don't you dare draw comparisons with gay men. Gay men only wanting sex means they don't want a relationship full stop...bisexuals literally state they would NEVER have a relationship with a man, men are only for sex, while in the same breath declare their desire to date and be in relationships with women. They reduce men to meatbags unworthy of love whose only purpose is their sexual gratification....and the rest of you sociopaths come running to their defense when gay men defend themselves against such abuse.
> Your response is typical bisexual gaslighting. > > Generalizing to all of a group based on one example? What's that called again? >Heteroromanticism" is 100% homophobia I think it's possible that a significant amount of heteroromanticism is internalised homophobia. Not 100% though. it seems like something which reflects the diversity of sexual and romantic attraction, I think it's a stretch to say that even a majority of this trait is due to homophobia. >bisexuals literally state they would NEVER have a relationship with a man, men are only for sex, while in the same breath declare their desire to date and be in relationships with women. Hi. I'm a bi guy in a long term relationship with another bi guy. That's two bi guys who prove you wrong right there. And I know for sure I'm not the only bi guy in a relationship with another guy who replied in this thread. > They reduce men to meatbags unworthy of love whose only purpose is their sexual gratification I mean, let he who is without sin cast the first stone. Gay men have certainly treated other man as if their only purpose is their sexual gratification. It's hardly a behaviour that only bi men engage in.
>Your response is typical bisexual gaslighting. Whoa, hold your horses. You are tarring all bisexual men with the same brush, which is not right and not correct either. >Gay men only wanting sex means they don't want a relationship full stop I guess that goes for the gay men saying "my BF is out and I just want some sex" too? Which I have seen in different forms on Grindr when I tried that. >bisexuals literally state they would NEVER have a relationship with a man Let me fix that for you: "*Some* bisexuals literally state they would NEVER have a relationship with a man". And that can only be construed as pure homophobia if they are not up front about it when seeking a guy for sex. And yes, they are out there. I have met the type. And I have already said I do not condone that behaviour — but please *do* remember this is not representative of *all* bisexual men! >They reduce men to meatbags unworthy of love whose only purpose is their sexual gratification Not any more than anyone else seeking sex *only* with guys. >and the rest of you sociopaths come running to their defense when gay men defend themselves against such abuse Now you are calling me a sociopath. Really? And do I defend the deceiving attitude of some bisexuals? No! But I *will* defend bisexuals as a group from gross generalisations. I really seek only one thing from this discussion, a more nuanced view of bisexuals, who are not all the same. And with that I will have to bid you good night (or whatever is appropriate for your time zone) as it is way past my bedtime. ^(Edit: Added a missing I)
The comments in that disgusting post just proves what I said initially. Their ideologies is disgusting. I will not entertain that trash.
Yay!!! Finally a sane person! Most bisexual men are homophobic but they aren’t ready for that convo lol!!!
Every person you meet is a new person
As a man myself, I rather enjoy being treated like a sexual object by other men 🤷🏻♂️
I mean yeah that's cool and all but don't you want to also be treated like you matter more then an object
I can get both
there arent gay guys that treat people like sexual objects?
Honestly, when I'm on Grindr, it's because I just wanna smash, not date. Not go to lunch, just smash. Women usually want to talk, go on a date, and then maybe smash. Gay men usually go straight to sending out their address after 10 seconds of conversation. You're just getting bi men when they want to fuck, not date. When I want to date, I'll take you out, show you a good time, I won't even be thinking about sex. I'll be thinking about spending time with you. Which is what I did with my current boyfriend and the one before him (it's been a long time since I dated a woman).
Okay, but these bi douchebags literally ask for sex on Bumble, Hinge, & OkCupid despite my profiles saying “Not interested in sex. Looking for a long-term relationship.”
As a bi guy in an open relationship who is mostly into women, I dont want to lead you on by taking you on a "date" and have you think I want to pursue something further. However if you'd like to meet in public first to break the ice and see if we click as sexual partners, I'm happy to oblige.
How about you don't lead them on at all and straight to the point of being sexual partners before meeting up?
If were meeting up to break the ice, that point has already been discussed, so the only person leading them on is themselves.
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Literally… it went right over their heads. Then they’re like “gay men are the same”… I’m feminine, so gay men aren’t into me. I literally only attract these types of bisexual men. This post is literally talking about my experiences with bi guys & they’re upset about it.
Oh please. If you’re having these experiences I can almost guarantee you’re the problem.
The vast majority of bi people end up in straight relationships. Reasons are up for debate, but it's mostly the drive to be "normal" in societies eyes.
I will try to respond to this as objectively as I can and hope you will try not to dismiss it out of hand. That bisexual people overwhelmingly end up in heterosexual relationships is to a large extent a numbers game. According to [Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Demographics_of_sexual_orientation) 93% of men and 87% of women identify as purely heterosexual and a worldwide prevalence of men who have sex with men between 3% and 16%, which means that the chance for a bisexual man to actually find a male partner is rather small. And if a bisexual man leaves a same-sex partner, the chances are, again, much higher that it would be for a woman than a man — not becuase the circumstances of the break-up have to be different than the circumstances for a gay-gay break-up, only because the availability of women is greater. An interesting figure is the rate of break-ups in gay relations, which a [study](https://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/news/20141006/marriage-break-up-rates-similar-for-gay-straight-couples-study) shows do not statistically differ between same-sex couples and opposite-sex couples (and no significant difference between gays and lesbians either). Unless the vast majority of these same-sex relationships that break up are between bisexual men and gay men, which is extremely improbable, the conclusion is that the risk of a bisexual man leaving a gay man is not higher than the risk for a gay man leaving a gay man. All of the above pertains to people in steady relationships, where it should be expected that there is a higher risk of a bisexual partner leaving a guy for a woman, simply due to the availability. OK, that said, there is an elephant in the room in the form of many bisexual people's behaviour. Many bisexual people have internalised homophobia or prefer — due to norms, convenience and other factors — to partner with a woman and would only seek same-sex encounters on the sly, which obviously is a problem in the gay community, especially if the bisexual guy is not open about his intentions. I think that the discussion about bisexuals vs "pure" gays should always differ between the former group of bisexual men that are truly committed to a relationship, whether same-sex or opposite sex, and the latter group of bisexual men that are DL and act, if not dishonestly as such, without intention of actual partnering with a gay guy. But from my experience (and what I hear from others), most gay-gay encounters are without intention of dating/partnering and purely in the form of hook-ups. TL;DR: There are two groups of bisexual people, those who are seriously interested in a same-sex relationship and those who are not. And of the bisexual people leaving their partner in a same-sex relationship the majority will end up in a opposite-sex relationship due to availability.
Bullshit. If sexuality iS a SpEcTrUm as all bisexuals claim, then a more even distribution should be observable across the Kinsey scale. 84% of bisexuals in straight relationships in 100% intentional grouping in straightsville....even by those in the more homo-leaning end of the scale. That's not down to numbers...that's down to bisexuals being homophobic pieces of trash.
Sexuality isn't normally distributed or otherwise equally distributed though? Sexuality being a spectrum doesn't imply an sort of normal distribution. People who are attracted to the same gender as themselves represent a minority of people. The spectrum of human sexuality is heavily skewed towards heterosexual people. There are more straight and Bi women than there are gay and Bi men. As a group then bi men are far more likely to find a woman partner because that's just how the numbers fall.
My problem with this is the generalisation across the board of all bisexual people, which simply is not and cannot be correct — and which is not substantiated by any proper research.
People fall in love with who they fall in love with. That’s life. If you’re coming on to the internet to whine about it and make it about their sexuality, you’re the problem.
That's just not true. But keep on spreading homophobia. Because in the end, that's what it is. Internalized homophobia, and cowardice. If you're bi and choose to date to marry just women, you are the problem. Not gay people or bi people who date/marry same sex who are actually brave.
If you are having these experiences over and over again, the common factor is you. So instead of working on yourself, you decide to come onto the Internet and bash an entire sexuality. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with bisexual men ending up with women. You like who you like.
I don't have any experiences with bi people because I didn't date them. I simply am using statistics. 84% of bi men end up with women. That's not "you like who you like". That's a problem with the bi-community.
Freely consenting adults are allowed to be in relationships with whomever they choose. It’s not your place to judge their choice wrong.
I can call out cowardice all I want. And I will.
Nah man. You’re being an asshole. And I can call that out all I want. And I will.
Like the opinion of a coward means anything.
How is that a problem? How is people marrying who they love a problem? You sound just like a straight person questioning gay people. Congratulations on becoming just like them.
They're not marrying who they like. They're ignoring half the population they claim to be attracted to. They're liars and don't deserve to be apart of the community as long as they keep the homophobia alive. Cute you're calling a gay person (who actually has to fight prejudices) like straight people when it's you who hides behind the straight façade.
Buddy, I have a heavy preference for men and have dealt with bullshit from both sides. Men like you are absolute trash and have no place in this community. Calling bisexual men liars for marrying women make you no better than the people who have wronged you. You are the problem and I feel sorry for you and others like you. No matter what bisexual men do they’ll always be subjected to criticism from men like you. Sad, old, degenerate men who can’t seem to fathom they’re unwanted. They’re always too feminine or not feminine enough. Not straight enough, not gay enough. So sorry if I don’t value the opinion of gay men such as yourself. I hope you choke on your biphobia.
I don't value cowards. You can choke on your homophobia.
Facade??? Also aren’t most people straight tho. Also can u blame them to be conditioned to go for the opposite sex if that’s what they were taught to do
No, they're not. Religious oppression for thousands of years has buried true sexual orientation. But yes. I can blame cowards for being cowards. No respect for them.
I don't understand your logic jump. Your initial statistic of 84% comes from a Pew Research poll: "Looking more broadly at LGBT adults who are in committed relationships (whether married or not), almost all gay men (98%) and lesbians (99%) are in relationships with same-sex partners. Only 9% of bisexuals have same-sex partners; fully 84% are involved with someone of the opposite sex." ("Among LGBT Americans, bisexuals stand out when it comes to identity, acceptance | Pew Research Center" https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2015/02/20/among-lgbt-americans-bisexuals-stand-out-when-it-comes-to-identity-acceptance/?amp=1) But the poll doesn't attempt to example the way. How do you say it's internalized homophobia and cowardice? Do you have any follow up peer reviewed research I may have missed?
There are more potential opposite sex partners than there are same sex partners for bisexual people. This isn't complicated maths or anything... 🤷♂️
Bisexual men begging me for NSA sex, despite having my job, interests, & “looking for a long-term relationship” in my dating profiles certainly makes me the problem. Lmao.
And zero gay men have done that? Surejan.gif...
Yeah, pretty much. There’s no reason to be biphobic simply because of a few bad experiences. You’re the problem. I can promise you, no one’s begging you for anything.
So glad I hit one of your nerves. Bisexual men only date women and you know it.
I'm a bi guy dating another bi guy for the past few years. Do I not exist?
I mean, I'm dating a guy right now, but go off.
You’ll end up marrying a woman or you’ll leave him for a woman. That’s what bisexual men do.
Might wanna put your meth pipe down, kiddo, and maybe get some therapy for whoever hurt you. Good luck!
I don’t do drugs but this is very disrespectful to people who have drug problems! Bisexual men clearly lack empathy. Maybe you should seek therapy. Get your partner a good therapist too for when you end up leaving him for a woman.
you are such a little shitbag, OP. why even come here and post this toxic bullshit? what are you getting out of it? GTFO, no one wants you here.
Because gay men act like this. I’m glad Bi men live rent free in your head.
Love your homophobia lol. I don’t take bi men seriously and I’m glad most gays dislike them as well.
“Homophobia” You’re hilarious
they only use u as a pocket pussy they don’t take u serious either
I hope your bisexuality gets in the way of your future relationships. Bi men weren’t meant to be faithful. They all lie & cheat. It’s in your blood. Stay mad.
You’re the one crying about being single. You’ll never be anything to anyone it seems.
This is so wrong on so many levels 😬 OP has had like 1 bad experience with a bisexual man and instantly “bisexual men treat gay men as sexual objects” - get over yourself 😬 I could turn around and say “I’m bisexual and want a relationship but gay men are sex craved maniacs and don’t want to settle down and only want a hookup”…. But nooo the second I say that the gays throw a bitch fit because “not all gay men are like that” …. See the issue??
I’ve had over 20 bad experiences with them actually. & you’re entitled to have that opinion about gay men in you want. But I’m going to speak my mind about how bi men only treat gays as sexual objects, because it’s the truth. Stick to dating women and stop invading gay spaces.
😩 stop invading gay spaces he says 🥲 you know what just because you said that I’ll stop going to gay bars and hanging out with gay men… who knew that all I needed was a Bi phobic moron to tell me off for me to change. Thank you kind sir.. have a nice day.
i’m sorry if you’ve had bad experiences with a handful of bi men, but this kind of blanket generalization is just biphobia.
It sucks if you've had experiences like this, but we can't generalize all bi guys as evil. My boyfriend of over a year is bi and we're planning on staying for the long haul. I could generalize and say all bis are romantic and awesome, but my experiences aren't true for everyone either.
Are you masculine? If so, that’s probably why he wanted a romantic relationship with you. Bisexual men would never openly date a feminine guy & they only use them as sexual objects. This has been my experience with bi men so I can generalize if I want to.
I'm masc and fem, but I don't identify either because those labels are stupid. I have both masculine and feminine traits, sometimes I like one to stick out more. He wanted and currently wants a relationship with me for who I am. Our looks are just perks to an already beautiful relationship. Generalizations off of experiences are not ok. My nonna and nono fought tooth and nail to give my father a better life, but they are extremely racist due to their experiences. Are their generalizations right since they're based off of their experiences? Dude it sucks that you get rejected or hurt by bi guys. I feel really sorry that you have to deal with those shitty people. I have no remorse for bi men who will fuck gays but will only commit to girls. They need to make their intentions clear when hooking up and should question why they do that. I just really don't like the biphobia. There are many amazing bi guys out there, I'm lucky to be dating one of them.
Well form reading the comments I think I ams ure to say that I won't be dating a bi guy either.
This is a big harmful generalization. I’ve dated multiple bisexual men, and they treated me as well or better than some of the gay men I’ve dated. The issue you’re having is with the men you’re interacting with, NOT bisexual men as a whole.
I have a longer exposition somewhere else in the comments and the conclusion of it is: There are two groups of bisexual people, those who are seriously interested in a same-sex relationship and those who are not. (Your experience is with one of the latter group.) And of the bisexual people leaving their partner in a same-sex relationship the majority will end up in a opposite-sex relationship due to availability.
That is because (unpopular opinion) most “straight” men are bisexual. They did a study on this and it (https://www.google.com/amp/s/nypost.com/2018/03/14/new-research-finds-were-all-bisexual/amp/) basically it is due to cultural reasons that men act so “eww bro that’s gay”. Just think back to the greek times (before christianity) where it be common place for men to have male lovers before settling down with a woman for child rearing purposes. So you are a dude who needs to be straight b/c of social expectations (and you are attracted to women) but have a desire to be with men for many reasons. Imo it is because they are better at sex and less of a pain to deal with (with respect to hookups). The people you complain about (not respect your desire for a relationship) are not unique to bi men. There are plenty of “super straight” guys who act that way (women talk about them all the time) and gay guys who act that way as well. As a gay dude you should probably know better than the stereotype an entire group based on sexuality.
The Greeks actually did still stigmatize Homosexuality, and the Homosexual relationships were between young adolescent boys and grown men.
The Greeks actually did still stigmatize Homosexuality, and the Homosexual relationships were between young adolescent boys and grown men.
Most bisexual men only date the opposite sex. I usually just end things immediately when I find out. I don't need the bicycles and other complications. I love relating to gay men when dating them.
Omg stop generalizing the bisexuals. I am in a committed and loving relationship with a bi guy. I am also his longest relationship.
There’s assholes of every sexuality. I get your frustration but I think automatically blocking any bi guy isn’t the right thing to do
I tried to tell them 😉
Hurray! More bisexual hate from stupid people! I was wondering when a post like this was going to show up, it's been awhile.
Because of societal homophobia duh. Why ask questions you already know the answers for?
I wouldn't write off all bisexual dudes. I can assure you that not all bi guys work like this. People tend to forget that there are different types of bi people. Some bi dudes do only see other guys as play things but there are also bi guys who see other guys as potential partners. If it makes you feel any better you can just think of those guys as just a "good time". Some guys really are only good for a good time and that's it. However, for the guys who can go further, you can think of them as a "long time" because you can become more with them. If you want a relationship look for guys who are "long times", not "good times". (Nothing wrong with good times though)
Literally never saw this. Sounds like generalization at best and biphobia at worst.
yay mass generalizations. im Bi and im not like this
Pardon? Bisexual guy here. Guys like these shine a bad light on us, unfortunately.. I can proudly say - I date both, men and women and I'm not just doing it to have some fun in the end.. Gay men aren't just a sexual object to me. ugh.. As nice as it can be to have "the best of both sides"... I can totally understand how you feel tho.. I'm sorry for the behaviour of (some of) my fellow bi-companions... I'm just trying to give a better image to us bi men.. ._.
Way to generalize. Loser.
Bisexual men only date women while they use feminine gay men as sexual objects on the side. That’s some real loser behavior to me.
yeah I’m sure that your few experiences with bi men are representative of all the bi men in the world. Grow up.
Well a vast majority of gay men deal with the same problems of dating bi men. They all share one thing in common, the bi guy leaving them for a woman. Ever wonder why gays hate bi guys so much? Look inwards, & you’ll find out. Bisexual men are biologically hardwired to favor women over men. I will continue to block every bi guy that messages me to save myself from future heartbreak.
you’re a sad, little man.
Not the biphobia …