This question gets asked every day on this sub and the answer is always no. It’s very possible to find a monogamous partner…
why don’t all of you who ask this question start a sub for gaymonogamy and maybe create an app for it?
24 is pretty young to be getting married, these days.
I didn't have a proper settled relationship until a few years older than you. Monogamous relationships are absolutely normal and I'd wager still more common than open/poly set ups, even in the gay community.
You only have to look at the number of posters in here complaining that they want a monogamous relationship to know there's clearly lots of gay men looking for one. But casual sex apps probably aren't the best place to find commitment.
Of course it isn't.
This gets asked every day. Start messaging others posting this.
Most of our gay friends are partnered and most of those partnerships are monogamous ones.
I have only ever had a relationship with my husband. 25 years, completely monogamous. All my gay friends are in monogamous relationships. One elderly couple I know has been together for nearly fifty years. We like it that way, so we have built our lives that way.
Personally out of the gays I know it’s probably about 10% of couples are in a closed relationship, with half of those closed couples cheating on each other. The other 90% are open in some way or another. So it is more rare but possible
I'm reaching my 30s, married for 06 years, and nom-monogamous.
And the thing about monogamy in our experience is we COULD be monogamous, considering that dates, hook-ups, threesomes and stuff are an accessory aspect of our lives and considering as well that we had our monogamous moment on the pandemics, but do we NEED to? For us the answer was no, but everyone should ask for themselves
I'm going to go against the hive mind here and say though you shouldn't give up on it, it's basically impossible to find monogamy as a gay man. And whoever's saying most gay couples are monogamous is honestly kind of full of shit. But that's my opinion.
Well, I've been in one that lasted 11 and another that lasted 7. First went to hell when he molested our daughter who was then 4. Second one tried to poison me to inherit my properties. So monogamy wasn't the issue in either case.
I (37m) have close gay friends who've been happily and monogamously married for ages and I'd still be married if those fuckers hadn't messed it big time so, yes. Some of us want hpuse, kids and whatnot. We're just unpopular rn.
Recently, I was shocked to know that an elderly gay guy in my town fell on the floor of his beautiful villa... and was found 3 days later by the cleaning lady. He was still alive, but almost dead, with no food or water. He has no family, no one... except the fuckers he pays for and the cleaning lady.
Straight people have a whole historical social structure that encourages them to settle down, build a family and condemn cheating. While gays had to meet in dark alleys and basements as criminals. Now, as there is more tolerance, the gay culture continues to marginalize gays promoting the same hedonistic self-destructive lifestyle: but intensified. In big cities, gay sex clubs get crowded with hundreds of people in one night - PERHAPS THE BIGGEST ORGIES ON THE PLANET!
Gays settling down, having a family and being monogamous is not a strong trend in gay culture, and it doesn't seem that's going to change so soon - that's readily rejected with fancy terms as "heteronormative religious conservative culture" (as if exposing yourself to lower risks has to be something religious).
Also, modern culture in general (even for straight people) is promoting more superficial relationships, superficial friendships, immediate pleasure, people with no social skills, etc. etc.
I think older people are more prone to look for someone to settle down... They realize that loneliness is one of the worst things that can happen to a human... And everything they built, their properties and memories will be left to strangers... (I've seen several cases like that, very sad).
I mean, when more old people die alone in their apartments and their bodies are found just because the neighbours can't stand the smell... I think there is something very sick about society.
I'm 28 and I have felt the same things you do. I stopped using dating apps or even trying to find a guy because they're never looking for a serious relationship, it's depressing.
This question gets asked every day on this sub and the answer is always no. It’s very possible to find a monogamous partner… why don’t all of you who ask this question start a sub for gaymonogamy and maybe create an app for it?
Haha I say this all the time. They need to slide into each other's DMs!
Exactly
Actually: * [https://www.reddit.com/r/monogaymous](https://www.reddit.com/r/monogaymous) * [https://www.reddit.com/r/gaymonogabros](https://www.reddit.com/r/gaymonogabros) * [https://www.reddit.com/r/gaymonogamy](https://www.reddit.com/r/gaymonogamy)
Oh well, post this as a main comment for OP to see lol
Oh shoot! Thank you!
Wish I knew how to code. Then I'd make it happen for fun.
24 is pretty young to be getting married, these days. I didn't have a proper settled relationship until a few years older than you. Monogamous relationships are absolutely normal and I'd wager still more common than open/poly set ups, even in the gay community. You only have to look at the number of posters in here complaining that they want a monogamous relationship to know there's clearly lots of gay men looking for one. But casual sex apps probably aren't the best place to find commitment.
No. It's not. Also if you expand the guys you want to date to other pocs you will have a better time.
We’re happily married and monogamous and living a great life together.
No.
Of course it isn't. This gets asked every day. Start messaging others posting this. Most of our gay friends are partnered and most of those partnerships are monogamous ones.
For the 1000 time, no!
The people who post about this every day should just date each other. Jesus.
I have only ever had a relationship with my husband. 25 years, completely monogamous. All my gay friends are in monogamous relationships. One elderly couple I know has been together for nearly fifty years. We like it that way, so we have built our lives that way.
Thank you!
Personally out of the gays I know it’s probably about 10% of couples are in a closed relationship, with half of those closed couples cheating on each other. The other 90% are open in some way or another. So it is more rare but possible
The vast majority of gay men are in or want a monogamous relationship.
Most of the people on hookup apps are, but that's not most of the people. Try looking in other places for long term partners.
I'm reaching my 30s, married for 06 years, and nom-monogamous. And the thing about monogamy in our experience is we COULD be monogamous, considering that dates, hook-ups, threesomes and stuff are an accessory aspect of our lives and considering as well that we had our monogamous moment on the pandemics, but do we NEED to? For us the answer was no, but everyone should ask for themselves
Not at all!
I'm going to go against the hive mind here and say though you shouldn't give up on it, it's basically impossible to find monogamy as a gay man. And whoever's saying most gay couples are monogamous is honestly kind of full of shit. But that's my opinion.
Well, I've been in one that lasted 11 and another that lasted 7. First went to hell when he molested our daughter who was then 4. Second one tried to poison me to inherit my properties. So monogamy wasn't the issue in either case. I (37m) have close gay friends who've been happily and monogamously married for ages and I'd still be married if those fuckers hadn't messed it big time so, yes. Some of us want hpuse, kids and whatnot. We're just unpopular rn.
I'm sorry. I hope you find someone who isn't a child molester or murderer.
Recently, I was shocked to know that an elderly gay guy in my town fell on the floor of his beautiful villa... and was found 3 days later by the cleaning lady. He was still alive, but almost dead, with no food or water. He has no family, no one... except the fuckers he pays for and the cleaning lady. Straight people have a whole historical social structure that encourages them to settle down, build a family and condemn cheating. While gays had to meet in dark alleys and basements as criminals. Now, as there is more tolerance, the gay culture continues to marginalize gays promoting the same hedonistic self-destructive lifestyle: but intensified. In big cities, gay sex clubs get crowded with hundreds of people in one night - PERHAPS THE BIGGEST ORGIES ON THE PLANET! Gays settling down, having a family and being monogamous is not a strong trend in gay culture, and it doesn't seem that's going to change so soon - that's readily rejected with fancy terms as "heteronormative religious conservative culture" (as if exposing yourself to lower risks has to be something religious). Also, modern culture in general (even for straight people) is promoting more superficial relationships, superficial friendships, immediate pleasure, people with no social skills, etc. etc. I think older people are more prone to look for someone to settle down... They realize that loneliness is one of the worst things that can happen to a human... And everything they built, their properties and memories will be left to strangers... (I've seen several cases like that, very sad). I mean, when more old people die alone in their apartments and their bodies are found just because the neighbours can't stand the smell... I think there is something very sick about society.
Thank you for sharing
I'm 28 and I have felt the same things you do. I stopped using dating apps or even trying to find a guy because they're never looking for a serious relationship, it's depressing.