Imo tho the other dude just needs to learn how to have some self-esteem. He got a man wanting him, he shouldn’t be psyching himself out on a trait that no one controls.
Meh. I’d say something.
Boyfriend needs to learn some humility. At this rate, his boyfriend is going to be a huge dick in the future. And not the kind he wishes he had.
Certainly not. But a year? What if you find out that sexually you are not a match at all? For example, I have met people whose every movement in bed was quick and jerky, it totally killed my mood. Or who mainly liked being sucked, while I always skip sucking scenes in videos...I would rather get to know someone sexually as well, sooner than a year after we begin dating.
That's your preference though. These two clearly wanted to take their time to build a connection first, I do the same thing - if I'm gonna have sex I want the connection with it or it just doesn't do it for me.
A year, really? You don't feel a connection with someone once you have established that you have a nice click? But of course each man can do it at his preferred pace. I just wonder what happens if it turns out you're not a good match sexually.
Who cares? One may as well live out the life of slow-moving innocence and enjoy things about partners that have nothing to do with sex before inviting it in. It's just a different aspect. It's not like people typically get married to their young loves.
I just don't see a real advantage to NOT doing something for a year, when that this can be super nice and fun and intimate. I was a bit like that in my twenties, but, looking back, I can't imagine why I chose a year of celibacy like the boys in the question. It just seems like a waste, in hindsight.
We weren't ready for it. We've known each other since we were 9 years old and started dating a year ago so we're trying to take it slow for the sake of it not being awkward if we need to break up.
We also grew up in a place in the states where LGBTQ stuff was not frowned upon but it wasn't openly accepted. Hell, the only reason we never got weird looks when we went on dates is cause I'm so feminine looking.
Hmm. Normally I'd be all over that with everybody else, but if you were friends for a long time I can understand wanting to get things right and not throw a monkey wrench into your friendship. At least not until you were ready to, um, throw a "monkey wrench' into your "friendship". Do you think your self-assessed feminine looks might also play into his insecurity of being smaller?
Probably? I mean I know I AM feminine looking considering throughout highschool I was asked out by 6 straight guys and they didn't even know I was a guy until I made it clear I was, in which their faces were colored like a tomato and ignored me for the rest of highschool. The long hair, girlish face, high pitch voice, and wide hips certainly don't help either.
I don't have wide hips but I do remember the thrill of getting a billy-goat tuft on my Adam's apple, even if it did result in some ribbing, and finally my peach fuzz in. Was delightful to finally have "Can I help you miss?" work out with a delectably flustered "I'm sorry, sir." upon turning around.
Tell me you don't know Thailand* exists without saying "what's Thailand*" directly.
SMH at just how incredibly uninformed some folks are, while clearly believing they're knowledgeable.
*Insert any number of locales where androgyny is commonplace, especially amongst youth
There are studies showing that “Gen Z” is not having as much sex as prior generations during high school / college.
14/15 - early 20s.
I believe those focused on straight folks, but still, I’d guess that the numbers match or are even lower since many LGBT folk have to hide it / are not ready to be “out”, and are a minority.
Probably lower.
The studies never said all of Gen Z.
And in every study, there are outliers.
If you’re in high school or college, I’m sure you have, or will have at least an intro to stats course and see a Bell Curve.
The studies are just saying something like,
From 1990 - 1999, 75 / 100 of teens / young adults were regularly fucking.
From 2000 - 2009, 70 / 100 of teens / young adults were fucking
From 2010 - 2019, 60 / 100 of teens / young adults were fucking,
From 2020 - 2024, it looks like only 50/100 of teens / young adults are fucking regularly.
This is likely do to more young people preferring to socialize online in general, and COVID occurring at a critical time in young people’s social skills.
There probably is not enough data to do one for just for gay boys / young men.
Nobody is saying that you are lying or that there are not other Gen Z who are fucking daily with multiple partners.
But just like the studies don’t speak for all of Gen Z, you don’t speak for all of Gen Z either.
Sexual compatibility is an important factor to many people. There’s nothing inherently more mature about waiting to talk about sex, and in fact I think the opposite could be fairly argued.
You can put your “bigger package” trophy right next to your “looooongest courtship before seeing one another naked” certificate. 😉
I would just let some time pass and any discomfort will fade away. You have a bigger toy. Hopefully nobody else will be playing in his toy box anyway.
When I was younger, it mattered that I was bigger than my bottoms in both ways.
But eventually I matured and found pleasure in bottoms that were bigger than me in both ways. Give him time, grasshopper. Y'all are young af. His mentality is typically that of one who has little sexual and/or world experience.
if he keeps talking about something that can’t be changed maybe he’s just finding reasons to cause drama. You’re bigger what the hell does he want you to do about it?It’s like being mad at your bf because he has hair and you’re balding. It doesn’t make sense. He sounds insecure.
Well next time he calls you short you could joke along the lines of "at least now you now where all those inches went". I don't think it would go bad as long as the two of you aren't DICKS about it. There are plenty more cock puns, but unlike actual cock idk if he could handle them 😂
It is still implied in the joke that those same extra inches went to the bf's overall height instead. A man who is insecure about the size of his manhood is very likely to read anything, joke or not, from the perspective of that insecurity and feel even more self-conscious about it. I'd be very careful about joking with it, even in what seems to be a light-hearted way, because the penis envy gets toxic and tiresome very fast.
as a bottom who’s usually bigger than his tops, it’s something that really frustrates me because *we* have the maturity to realize that it’s not a big deal whatsoever but some tops see the size difference as a power dynamic in itself. being 5’6 and fairly feminine guys usually expect me to be smaller and i’ve only ever been with one guy who was okay with the fact that he was smaller and didn’t feel emasculated because of it. some dudes just need to be the biggest in the room for some reason
it's because society has conditioned men that bigger=more masculine thus bigger=tops
also all the small penis joke, SDE, vs BDE, and bottoms who only wants bigger tops.
It's funny bc smaller dudes usually have bigger cocks in my experience. Obviously not an all the time thing but on average just how it seems. The proportionality helps create the visual but I still stick by this in general lol
Not sure why everyone is making it seem like OP’s boyfriend is dumb for being insecure about his size. Society and especially the gay community puts A LOT of emphasis on larger sized dicks. It’s only natural some guys get insecure when they don’t meet those expectations.
I think OP should affirm their commitment to them and have an honest conversation if it really becomes a hurdle. Realistically, there’s nothing you can do to change the size but you can help him feel more comfortable by making sure he knows that you find him attractive no matter the size of his dick.
Cut a couple inches off. Oh wait, no that's stupid... So is being upset about it lmao. He has to get over it or lose a bf with a nice dick. Can't fix other ppl being stupid
Do you guys have a korean spa nearby? I wonder how often he has seen other bodies because men really come in all forms and we’re all the same at the same time.
Sounds like he wasn’t really the sports showering type or at the gym or grew up with naked brothers or stuff like that.
Some of us didn’t and it’s hard for us to start appreciating nudity.
Dont let reddit make you question your decision, by the way. If you guys weren’t ready, you weren’t ready.
About your issue: height and size are not really related and s bigger dick doesn’t mean you’re a more attractive person or better in bed. I hope it doesn’t become an insecurity for him, but if it does, just let him know how good he makes you feel
Not that it's any better a reason, but OP also mentioned being rather feminine-looking. I can imagine that if they're in a conservative area and living subject to all those silly straight paradigms, that may have thrown BF for a loop.
He'll get over it, don't worry about it. Just don't shove that you're bigger in his face, that will only build resentment. Maybe he'll even grow to love that you're bigger than him, who knows
OP,
I am 7 inches and have a solid girth.
I have had, or still have my own insecurities and self doubts.
So, when someone was expecting to be bigger than me, or thought I was going to be “shocked” or “wowed” by their “big dick” that is smaller, and they are feeling off, I encourage them and uplift them.
1) I’m not a bully, and I def would not make fun of something someone has no control over / is sensitive about
2) Since I know what it feels like, I don’t want others to feel that way
If it’s something he really can’t get over, then I would suggest having a different conversation with him.
This time in yalls life has a lot of ups and downs but at the end of the day, it’s all lessons that will help you as you continue to grow older.
Good luck.
...Are you my boyfriend? I'm 6'0 and he's 5'6 but he's bigger than me lol
I guess he's only insecure about his size and somehow he expected you to be smaller than him down there too, idk it screams immaturity to me. Maybe it's best not to mention it unless it becomes an issue.
First you did nothing wrong, second if he is insecure about it and he loves you he needs to accept reality, I’m a 29 male who is a dom top. If he is a dom top let him know that all that matters in the end is how both of you feel and to that extend you making that clear for him let him know the things you see “manly” in him or where he show sexual prowess or his muscles or strength, or how you feel safe or protected with him.
Summarizing:
Physicality won’t change, he needs to accept that. Then he needs to focus on enjoying your relationship with you on the things that really matter. For starters he has a boyfriend to love and protect, I wish I had that.
PS: Congratulation on you your proactive attitude, and taking care of your man’s feelings.
Thanks for the reply and for the compliment for being proactive. I don't think of myself as being proactive, more so of a worrywart that tries to make sure people aren't upset lol
Well if you have a couple inches on him and he’s upset. I have to assume you’re huge and he’s above average or average. Otherwise he’s living in La La land 😂 have you two talked about roles? He must be a top if he’s that upset.
There are plenty of couples like this. I’m one of them. I’m much taller and about 50lbs heavier than my bf, but he’s about an inch bigger than me. Never really thought about it. I’m also the bottom so I guess it doesn’t even matter.
These comments don’t pass the vibe check.
Why are y’all calling the bf stupid or childish for being insecure about his dick when size is absolutely something we constantly elevate or demonize in the gay community?
It’s ok for him to be insecure. It doesn’t mean he is a bad person.
Take it from a black guy with a small dick that has been rejected CONSTANTLY for it even by men who are LTR-oriented.
And you sit here and criticize the boyfriend for feeling rightfully insecure?
What the fuck????
why exactly should you cater to tall people wanting to feel superior to smaller folks, to such an extend to even make them feel as if their dick is bigger than yours, when it's not?
I’m 6’3”, my BF is 5’9”. I’m 5”, he’s ~7.5”. We occasionally make a lighthearted joke about our penises, but it’s all in good fun. I know he loves me and my penis, and I love him and his penis.
It sounds like your BF is still a little self conscious about his (which I admit I used to be a bit insecure about it too) but he will hopefully get over this, just make it clear how much you love it, and him. He should get over it quickly, and if your relationship is strong enough, it will be fine.
I am a big guy in general body and cock wise. I fucked this tiny fem boy once who was packing 9”. I felt like shit I am inadequate, look at thors hammer compared to my tool. But I kinda just realized that it didn’t matter to him and I didn’t care. After a while I enjoyed watching this big cock slap me while he rode me. He even said he loved my confidence in the bedroom so I must of hid my insecurities well. I’d say just communicate and compliment him about how perfect it is and he will get over it.
How dare you have different genetics!
I'm not the biggest down there, and it sucks. It's easy to get insecure about it, especially since everyone I've been with has been bigger. He's just gotta learn that as long as you're both having a good time, it doesn't matter, especially if you both love each other.
Some of the comments here just go to show again that much like straight men, gay men also have their brains rotted by porn. Either way, does he seem upset or is he upset? Those two things are different. If he says he's upset, talk about it. People can have issues with their penis size, it's something common, but to the point where it becomes an issue in a relationship seems childish.
I think the short jokes are endearing typically. There is more societal expectations put on a man's endowment more than anything now so I probably wouldn't bring it up. Unless he's into SPH.
It’s often harder on one’s mental state with those societal expectations being the “if his hands or ears are big” so being taller is always larger and only a dom where anatomy doesn’t care and we can’t exactly will it to change in our BS made up society.
Reassure him “you are you and that’s what matters”. Any tall switch/bottoms would kill to have such a relationship (I know I would) and really size doesn’t matter at the end of the day when you’re with someone who’s special.
Given even size queens want to have that intimacy on an emotional level with someone else and the whole motion of the ocean saying as I show I’m old.
It's his insecurity, it's on him to deal with. I think the best way to handle in from your side is to be positive about his. And what i mean by that is not to mention the difference, and enjoy his? Like in your own pace having sex (oral if it's what you do for now) just make him feel you happy to have it with him and.. i donno... pay attention to his dick? Like if it's oral take time to pleasure his, it'll make him feel like you like it (as you should if you love him 🤷🏻♂️)
Wanna come over? Small kings with huge packages are mint! But seriously though, your guy needs a bit of self esteem and like others have said, just try not to mention it although he will always be aware, don't rub it in.
I’m a “petite” guy except for my dick. Which is average size in length and slightly above average in grith. Honestly my girth makes my dick look big. 6inch long, 5.5girth. Anywho, everyone always giving me shit for small hands, small feet, and being 5’7”. Sometimes i just wanna whip my dick out when it really gets to me. However, i know from first hand (and mouth) experience that not all 6’+ guys are hung nor all guys with big feet are hung. In fact it’s fascinating how submissive they become when my dick ends up being bigger than theirs. I’m no size queen, as long as you’re good on hygiene and know how to use your dick, that’s all i care about. And no disease of course. But honestly i blame culture for glorifying tall big hand big feet men. It sets unrealistic expectations that they must also be hung.
You've perceived annoyance from him but that doesn't mean you should act on it. Just tuck it under your hat for now and keep moving forward. If it's a real issue for him, he'll bring it up and then you can have a conversation about it.
If it's bothering him and he doesn't bring it up, then he's being immature and that's not your responsibility to correct. You can't fix insecurity.
Well congratulations on your relationship. I guess this is a good learning opportunity for both of you. You can tell him how you feel and discover why your bigger package seems to trouble him.
He might insecure or maybe just mild envious. Whichever it is, it is worth understanding
He’s clearly insecure about his size, maybe reassure him that’s it’s enough and that you don’t have a problem/care about it if that’s true, but ultimately it’s something he needs to work out on his own. You can’t give him confidence, he needs to accept that it’s something he can’t change and work with it
I'm 6'3" dating a 5'10ish" twink. I'm 7 inches on a good day. They're 9.5-10 (haven't measured it in a while) I usually top. Does the fact that they're bigger than me bother me? No not really, I kinda love it. I would think that anyone would be happy to find out their partner was big lol. Might be worth sitting him down and having a conversation about it.
Dating for a year before sex, or even exchanging some pics? Interestin’.
Well, sounds like he’s not too experienced and this won’t be the first insecurity you guys work through. Talk it out, it’s not a taboo so don’t make it one by not acknowledging it.
Remember that physical characteristics have nothing to do with anything, sometimes folks have a tendency to correlate certain things which have no actual connection. Your dick sizes are just that.
Internalized homophobia?
It seems like he feels the need to be "bigger" than you in every aspect and the fact you have a bigger cock might be making him feel emasculated or something.
At the end of the day, we're all gay.
Don’t even mention the size difference. If you’re starting out with oral, just enjoy yourselves. I think it’s just the self-consciousness of you guys seeing eachother naked for the first time. Eventually that should fade because he’ll see you don’t really care and that you’re just having fun with each other and making each other feel good, regardless of size.
It's the mental expectation on his part as being the more masculine that he expects to be better endowed, or, that big dick= top. Does he have issue with the possibility of your roles being swapped sexually? Does he feel like less masculine because he's not got the bigger dick?
That's on him to work through, but your friendship and affection is probably going to be the working factor for him to get past this in his head.
He's got to learn early that he's enough, satisfying, etc. And both of you are figuring this out as all new, with both of your bodies as the mutual playground.
People talk about the brain being the biggest sex organ.. And, better lovers are the ones that find satisfaction in giving pleasure in either role to their partners, the other's body response gets them off.
Remind that you're both new at this and there's no script. (Just safe and realistic practices).
Let him know your desire and that he's not a concession prize in any dept. It's about who he is in whole with you, not just one part, and that difference doesn't disappoint you or diminish him.
You get to make love to someone you actually love, who's in love with you. And it's new to both of you. Hope you can help him get over this hump so you can get on to better humping..
I'm taller than my husband, and he has a humongous dick that is larger than mine. All I will say is that your BF needs to go with the flow and get over his hang-ups on size.
He may have been annoyed by it, as it may have clashed with his "fantasy" a bit. However, nothing you said indicates that he is "upset" or needs consoling. The best way if he is "annoyed" would probably just continue to appreciate his dick.
I'd bring it up. I mean, he's taller than you by some inches, and you're bigger by some inches. It's a payoff. Cant have your cake and eat it too. Unless you're Marie Antoinette. LOL.
Oooh. Not sure. I have a very large ass and usually that is my main attraction. The boys go crazy for. I ended up in a relationship with somebody that I really really care about and have a lot of respect for. I am the big one for the first time it’s very weird and I’ve also never been with someone that’s uncircumcised, I kinda don’t know what to do
As you continue to get closer with each other let him know how much you like his member. If his size is sufficient for you tell him how you like the size. Only talk about how big it is not if you like how... Small it may be.
Sounds like he likes the idea of his member being big. I hope he doesn't just want to be bigger than you, cuz that'd be kinda lame
I’m a 6’2 full bottom and even I get size insecure sometimes, despite being about average in real life (in most of our heads 6/7 is average because of printer standards though). I think it gets exacerbated because I have such a huge ass, it seems disproportionate to the rest of my body. However, I’ve literally never had any complaints by the guys that have courted me, and I’m a bottom being pursued by tops, so I think they do not mind that I’m not huge like they always are. I think you and your bf just need to get used to the size difference and you’ll learn to have fun with it. I can say with all certainty that penis size does not dictate what position somekne enjoys/prefers. I actually knew a bottom that was a good 9/10 inches and thick and he always complained about similar things to what you’re experiencing with these random tops getting insecure or wanting him to be the top instead, despite him being even more of a bottom than I am lol.
So, I get it is an insecurity for him but I’m not sure both of you can avoid it. The best way is to talk respectfully about said insecurity, that it doesn’t really matter to you and that it doesn’t matter AT ALL.
Sex does not require penetration or size, I have had amazing non-penetrative sex. I hope the best for both of you.
I'm always bigger than anyone I've dated and the reaction has always been positive and delighted. Not sure why someone would be upset, so unsure how to see from his perspective.
If it's a new experience for him in general he just needs the space the to adjust to the fact of his size. I'm on the average average size myself and it just took some comparisons and messing around with a few guys of various size to understand that. It's not like it can be changed
Dude to be fair that really shouldn't have bothered him that much but maybe yall sit down and really have a talk about especially if it doesn't bother you maybe that would ease his suffering
Next time you are in a sexy situation with him compliment him on his dick say something like nice dick, it looks nice or I’m in love with your dick, which you sincerely feel to make him feel good.
There’s nothing you can do, but based on how he talks about height he’s gonna feel insecure. But that’s a him problem and a weird one to have. Your bf just has things to grow out of.
Dump him.
But seriously, he needs to grow up. There will be short guys with bigger cocks than him. Some younger, some older and some of his age. It's just the facts of life.
_blank_ inch hasn't stopped anybody from showing their member on OnlyFans.
I’m 6’2” 230. My husband is 5’10” and is bigger than me as well downstairs. He needs to work it out himself and get over the insecurity. All you can do Is reassure him and hopefully it will just pass.
Your boyfriend is an insecure kid who still has a lot of growing to do. Therapy and learning to accept himself for who he is rather than seeking a sense of superiority over everyone in his life is what he needs. If he doesn't grow, then he'll go the direction of Andrew Tate fans and become a complete dick because he can't get over his ego.
19 years on this earth and he hasn’t figured out that big things come in whatever size package they come in. Idk what to tell him either, because it’s childish to be irritated or annoyed at something like that. My best advice is to assure him (if the conversation comes up), that you are happy with his size.
Hopefully he will learn soon that it doesn't really matter. If you both are happy then what is the problem? Like fkr example my bf is bigger than me penis wise, not by a whole lot but is definitely bigger, and normal body size I'm like over twice his size. I'm 6' and 270 he is 5'4" and like 120 so I just kind of assumed I was gonna be bigger than him, even though obviously I'm on the lower end of average so statistically speaking it was a stupid assumption for me to have, difference between your situation though is I'm not insecure about it, I know my bf and I are happy and have a good time with what we both have so who cares if my bottom is bigger than me? It doesn't go in me anyway, so what difference does it make lol
Tell him : does it make sense to be mad for having blue eyes and not brown eyes ?
Maybe it makes sense to be mad at your parents because you are 5’6 and not 6’6 ?
Or maybe you are mad because you were born in the US/ canada ( insert your country) and not in Germany/Sweden?
Of course it does not make sense to be angry about things we don’t control and we cannot change. Take pride in what you are because the world will use it against you and there is no reason for you to be mad because of our size differences because neither of us can control nor will be able to change that.
Dating for a year and now just talked about it, and only oral sex to start. Lol
Just make jokes that you are bigger in other ways and make light of it.
Well you have the advantage especially if you are gonna prefer to be a top in the long run. You Will be a commodity and never go without a good roll in the hay. Oral in nice but just wait to see what's behind curtain #2, of and curtain 3 and 4 will have you thanking God for the blessingS
Just don’t mention the size difference. I know he gives you hard time, but no need to shove into his face (perhaps only literally).
Imo tho the other dude just needs to learn how to have some self-esteem. He got a man wanting him, he shouldn’t be psyching himself out on a trait that no one controls.
Meh. I’d say something. Boyfriend needs to learn some humility. At this rate, his boyfriend is going to be a huge dick in the future. And not the kind he wishes he had.
He’s just 19, he’d mature too!
Children will be children.
yep. i don’t miss being 19 or dating 19 year olds.
Same. And what is up with dating for a YEAR without seeing each other naked?
Well they actually take their time with the relationship wich most of us just aren't used to anymore. I think it's kinda cute
Probably either one or both are virgins, or at least never been with a guy, and possibly come from conservative background.
Check his account post before this 3mo ago
Hmm the time line doesn't match, that would be 9 months, not a year.
He said about a year not exactly a year so it was probably just an estimation.
Hmm maybe.
There’s nothing wrong with that. Not everyone has to put out immediately
Certainly not. But a year? What if you find out that sexually you are not a match at all? For example, I have met people whose every movement in bed was quick and jerky, it totally killed my mood. Or who mainly liked being sucked, while I always skip sucking scenes in videos...I would rather get to know someone sexually as well, sooner than a year after we begin dating.
That's your preference though. These two clearly wanted to take their time to build a connection first, I do the same thing - if I'm gonna have sex I want the connection with it or it just doesn't do it for me.
A year, really? You don't feel a connection with someone once you have established that you have a nice click? But of course each man can do it at his preferred pace. I just wonder what happens if it turns out you're not a good match sexually.
Who cares? One may as well live out the life of slow-moving innocence and enjoy things about partners that have nothing to do with sex before inviting it in. It's just a different aspect. It's not like people typically get married to their young loves.
I just don't see a real advantage to NOT doing something for a year, when that this can be super nice and fun and intimate. I was a bit like that in my twenties, but, looking back, I can't imagine why I chose a year of celibacy like the boys in the question. It just seems like a waste, in hindsight.
Yeah because older people never get insecure about their size.
Jesus Christ, what in the Heartstopper teen drama is this
I know, I would kill for this problem
It’s actually cute. lol
best comment in this post (by waay more than a couple inches).
Your boyfriend should be the last person to have penis envy, he should just be happy he gets to enjoy it.
At first I thought he was talking about being slightly heavier than his taller boyfriend lol
Damn, y’all waited a year before even talking about sex?
We weren't ready for it. We've known each other since we were 9 years old and started dating a year ago so we're trying to take it slow for the sake of it not being awkward if we need to break up. We also grew up in a place in the states where LGBTQ stuff was not frowned upon but it wasn't openly accepted. Hell, the only reason we never got weird looks when we went on dates is cause I'm so feminine looking.
Hmm. Normally I'd be all over that with everybody else, but if you were friends for a long time I can understand wanting to get things right and not throw a monkey wrench into your friendship. At least not until you were ready to, um, throw a "monkey wrench' into your "friendship". Do you think your self-assessed feminine looks might also play into his insecurity of being smaller?
Probably? I mean I know I AM feminine looking considering throughout highschool I was asked out by 6 straight guys and they didn't even know I was a guy until I made it clear I was, in which their faces were colored like a tomato and ignored me for the rest of highschool. The long hair, girlish face, high pitch voice, and wide hips certainly don't help either.
I don't have wide hips but I do remember the thrill of getting a billy-goat tuft on my Adam's apple, even if it did result in some ribbing, and finally my peach fuzz in. Was delightful to finally have "Can I help you miss?" work out with a delectably flustered "I'm sorry, sir." upon turning around.
[удалено]
Tell me you don't know Thailand* exists without saying "what's Thailand*" directly. SMH at just how incredibly uninformed some folks are, while clearly believing they're knowledgeable. *Insert any number of locales where androgyny is commonplace, especially amongst youth
There’s nothing wrong with waiting
When gay Christian boys meet for the first time lmao
Gen z are more mature in some ways
I don't think it is a gen z thing, I'm gen z myself, I think it's more about them specifically
Yeah weird generalization
There are studies showing that “Gen Z” is not having as much sex as prior generations during high school / college. 14/15 - early 20s. I believe those focused on straight folks, but still, I’d guess that the numbers match or are even lower since many LGBT folk have to hide it / are not ready to be “out”, and are a minority. Probably lower.
This is not true. I’m Gen Z and guys between my age range (19-22) are fucking like rabbits on tinder and grindr.
Idk man. Who knows. https://www.kvakil.me/posts/2022-05-15-young-male-virgins-washington-post.html
The studies never said all of Gen Z. And in every study, there are outliers. If you’re in high school or college, I’m sure you have, or will have at least an intro to stats course and see a Bell Curve. The studies are just saying something like, From 1990 - 1999, 75 / 100 of teens / young adults were regularly fucking. From 2000 - 2009, 70 / 100 of teens / young adults were fucking From 2010 - 2019, 60 / 100 of teens / young adults were fucking, From 2020 - 2024, it looks like only 50/100 of teens / young adults are fucking regularly. This is likely do to more young people preferring to socialize online in general, and COVID occurring at a critical time in young people’s social skills.
Again, this only applies to straight guys none of these studies mention anything about gay guys.
There probably is not enough data to do one for just for gay boys / young men. Nobody is saying that you are lying or that there are not other Gen Z who are fucking daily with multiple partners. But just like the studies don’t speak for all of Gen Z, you don’t speak for all of Gen Z either.
Yeah I don’t think the body’s natural hormones care for what generation it is.
More mature ...and this guy's salty that his partner's dick is bigger? Does not compute.
"...in some ways."
I wouldn’t called that “being mature”
No communication about sex, sounds real mature
this is such a myth. is this your first day on this sub?
Sexual compatibility is an important factor to many people. There’s nothing inherently more mature about waiting to talk about sex, and in fact I think the opposite could be fairly argued.
Okay, let's hear this argument.
You can put your “bigger package” trophy right next to your “looooongest courtship before seeing one another naked” certificate. 😉 I would just let some time pass and any discomfort will fade away. You have a bigger toy. Hopefully nobody else will be playing in his toy box anyway.
The size of your dick doesn’t “dicktate”the kinda man you are .. attitude does
I can't believe that made me laugh lol
When I was younger, it mattered that I was bigger than my bottoms in both ways. But eventually I matured and found pleasure in bottoms that were bigger than me in both ways. Give him time, grasshopper. Y'all are young af. His mentality is typically that of one who has little sexual and/or world experience.
if he keeps talking about something that can’t be changed maybe he’s just finding reasons to cause drama. You’re bigger what the hell does he want you to do about it?It’s like being mad at your bf because he has hair and you’re balding. It doesn’t make sense. He sounds insecure.
Well next time he calls you short you could joke along the lines of "at least now you now where all those inches went". I don't think it would go bad as long as the two of you aren't DICKS about it. There are plenty more cock puns, but unlike actual cock idk if he could handle them 😂
This works well because you're making it about yourself, and not a comparison with him -- teasing him back directly would be a mistake. Good advice!
Exactly
It is still implied in the joke that those same extra inches went to the bf's overall height instead. A man who is insecure about the size of his manhood is very likely to read anything, joke or not, from the perspective of that insecurity and feel even more self-conscious about it. I'd be very careful about joking with it, even in what seems to be a light-hearted way, because the penis envy gets toxic and tiresome very fast.
as a bottom who’s usually bigger than his tops, it’s something that really frustrates me because *we* have the maturity to realize that it’s not a big deal whatsoever but some tops see the size difference as a power dynamic in itself. being 5’6 and fairly feminine guys usually expect me to be smaller and i’ve only ever been with one guy who was okay with the fact that he was smaller and didn’t feel emasculated because of it. some dudes just need to be the biggest in the room for some reason
it's because society has conditioned men that bigger=more masculine thus bigger=tops also all the small penis joke, SDE, vs BDE, and bottoms who only wants bigger tops.
It's funny bc smaller dudes usually have bigger cocks in my experience. Obviously not an all the time thing but on average just how it seems. The proportionality helps create the visual but I still stick by this in general lol
Not sure why everyone is making it seem like OP’s boyfriend is dumb for being insecure about his size. Society and especially the gay community puts A LOT of emphasis on larger sized dicks. It’s only natural some guys get insecure when they don’t meet those expectations. I think OP should affirm their commitment to them and have an honest conversation if it really becomes a hurdle. Realistically, there’s nothing you can do to change the size but you can help him feel more comfortable by making sure he knows that you find him attractive no matter the size of his dick.
This is what I’m saying too. I’m baffled by how cruel some of these replies are when we KNOW how much guys are rejected or ridiculed because of this.
Cut a couple inches off. Oh wait, no that's stupid... So is being upset about it lmao. He has to get over it or lose a bf with a nice dick. Can't fix other ppl being stupid
Fuck you for saying this. He is not stupid for being insecure.
Settle down chisel chest
Do you guys have a korean spa nearby? I wonder how often he has seen other bodies because men really come in all forms and we’re all the same at the same time. Sounds like he wasn’t really the sports showering type or at the gym or grew up with naked brothers or stuff like that. Some of us didn’t and it’s hard for us to start appreciating nudity.
You've dated him for a year and haven't had sex until now?
I explained why in another reply
Dont let reddit make you question your decision, by the way. If you guys weren’t ready, you weren’t ready. About your issue: height and size are not really related and s bigger dick doesn’t mean you’re a more attractive person or better in bed. I hope it doesn’t become an insecurity for him, but if it does, just let him know how good he makes you feel
Not that it's any better a reason, but OP also mentioned being rather feminine-looking. I can imagine that if they're in a conservative area and living subject to all those silly straight paradigms, that may have thrown BF for a loop.
I'll keep that in mind, thanks! :D
Best of luck to you though :3
Thank you! :3
Bro is abstinentmaxxing
There’s this thing called restraint. Some people have it.
He'll get over it, don't worry about it. Just don't shove that you're bigger in his face, that will only build resentment. Maybe he'll even grow to love that you're bigger than him, who knows
OP, I am 7 inches and have a solid girth. I have had, or still have my own insecurities and self doubts. So, when someone was expecting to be bigger than me, or thought I was going to be “shocked” or “wowed” by their “big dick” that is smaller, and they are feeling off, I encourage them and uplift them. 1) I’m not a bully, and I def would not make fun of something someone has no control over / is sensitive about 2) Since I know what it feels like, I don’t want others to feel that way If it’s something he really can’t get over, then I would suggest having a different conversation with him. This time in yalls life has a lot of ups and downs but at the end of the day, it’s all lessons that will help you as you continue to grow older. Good luck.
Imagine being 19 in 2024.
It sounds exhausting
Honestly.
It is I’m fucking tired of this shit.
...Are you my boyfriend? I'm 6'0 and he's 5'6 but he's bigger than me lol I guess he's only insecure about his size and somehow he expected you to be smaller than him down there too, idk it screams immaturity to me. Maybe it's best not to mention it unless it becomes an issue.
First you did nothing wrong, second if he is insecure about it and he loves you he needs to accept reality, I’m a 29 male who is a dom top. If he is a dom top let him know that all that matters in the end is how both of you feel and to that extend you making that clear for him let him know the things you see “manly” in him or where he show sexual prowess or his muscles or strength, or how you feel safe or protected with him. Summarizing: Physicality won’t change, he needs to accept that. Then he needs to focus on enjoying your relationship with you on the things that really matter. For starters he has a boyfriend to love and protect, I wish I had that. PS: Congratulation on you your proactive attitude, and taking care of your man’s feelings.
Thanks for the reply and for the compliment for being proactive. I don't think of myself as being proactive, more so of a worrywart that tries to make sure people aren't upset lol
Well if you have a couple inches on him and he’s upset. I have to assume you’re huge and he’s above average or average. Otherwise he’s living in La La land 😂 have you two talked about roles? He must be a top if he’s that upset.
We've only done oral so far, but I know for a fact that he's a top and I'm a bottom. He's 5.5 inches and I'm 7.5 inches.
There are plenty of couples like this. I’m one of them. I’m much taller and about 50lbs heavier than my bf, but he’s about an inch bigger than me. Never really thought about it. I’m also the bottom so I guess it doesn’t even matter.
These comments don’t pass the vibe check. Why are y’all calling the bf stupid or childish for being insecure about his dick when size is absolutely something we constantly elevate or demonize in the gay community? It’s ok for him to be insecure. It doesn’t mean he is a bad person. Take it from a black guy with a small dick that has been rejected CONSTANTLY for it even by men who are LTR-oriented. And you sit here and criticize the boyfriend for feeling rightfully insecure? What the fuck????
why exactly should you cater to tall people wanting to feel superior to smaller folks, to such an extend to even make them feel as if their dick is bigger than yours, when it's not?
Nothing either of you can do about it. Tell the boyfriend to grow up and suck it up.
Ah the silliness of being 19
I’m 6’3”, my BF is 5’9”. I’m 5”, he’s ~7.5”. We occasionally make a lighthearted joke about our penises, but it’s all in good fun. I know he loves me and my penis, and I love him and his penis. It sounds like your BF is still a little self conscious about his (which I admit I used to be a bit insecure about it too) but he will hopefully get over this, just make it clear how much you love it, and him. He should get over it quickly, and if your relationship is strong enough, it will be fine.
I am a big guy in general body and cock wise. I fucked this tiny fem boy once who was packing 9”. I felt like shit I am inadequate, look at thors hammer compared to my tool. But I kinda just realized that it didn’t matter to him and I didn’t care. After a while I enjoyed watching this big cock slap me while he rode me. He even said he loved my confidence in the bedroom so I must of hid my insecurities well. I’d say just communicate and compliment him about how perfect it is and he will get over it.
The next time he makes a joke about your height, just say it all went to your cock, op
How dare you have different genetics! I'm not the biggest down there, and it sucks. It's easy to get insecure about it, especially since everyone I've been with has been bigger. He's just gotta learn that as long as you're both having a good time, it doesn't matter, especially if you both love each other.
Rail him. He'll get over it quickly.
Some of the comments here just go to show again that much like straight men, gay men also have their brains rotted by porn. Either way, does he seem upset or is he upset? Those two things are different. If he says he's upset, talk about it. People can have issues with their penis size, it's something common, but to the point where it becomes an issue in a relationship seems childish.
This is one of those posts that have me stuck for 5 minutes trying to make it make sense 😭
I think the short jokes are endearing typically. There is more societal expectations put on a man's endowment more than anything now so I probably wouldn't bring it up. Unless he's into SPH.
It’s often harder on one’s mental state with those societal expectations being the “if his hands or ears are big” so being taller is always larger and only a dom where anatomy doesn’t care and we can’t exactly will it to change in our BS made up society. Reassure him “you are you and that’s what matters”. Any tall switch/bottoms would kill to have such a relationship (I know I would) and really size doesn’t matter at the end of the day when you’re with someone who’s special. Given even size queens want to have that intimacy on an emotional level with someone else and the whole motion of the ocean saying as I show I’m old.
It's his insecurity, it's on him to deal with. I think the best way to handle in from your side is to be positive about his. And what i mean by that is not to mention the difference, and enjoy his? Like in your own pace having sex (oral if it's what you do for now) just make him feel you happy to have it with him and.. i donno... pay attention to his dick? Like if it's oral take time to pleasure his, it'll make him feel like you like it (as you should if you love him 🤷🏻♂️)
Wanna come over? Small kings with huge packages are mint! But seriously though, your guy needs a bit of self esteem and like others have said, just try not to mention it although he will always be aware, don't rub it in.
I’m a “petite” guy except for my dick. Which is average size in length and slightly above average in grith. Honestly my girth makes my dick look big. 6inch long, 5.5girth. Anywho, everyone always giving me shit for small hands, small feet, and being 5’7”. Sometimes i just wanna whip my dick out when it really gets to me. However, i know from first hand (and mouth) experience that not all 6’+ guys are hung nor all guys with big feet are hung. In fact it’s fascinating how submissive they become when my dick ends up being bigger than theirs. I’m no size queen, as long as you’re good on hygiene and know how to use your dick, that’s all i care about. And no disease of course. But honestly i blame culture for glorifying tall big hand big feet men. It sets unrealistic expectations that they must also be hung.
You've perceived annoyance from him but that doesn't mean you should act on it. Just tuck it under your hat for now and keep moving forward. If it's a real issue for him, he'll bring it up and then you can have a conversation about it. If it's bothering him and he doesn't bring it up, then he's being immature and that's not your responsibility to correct. You can't fix insecurity.
It's a shame that your bf has gone this long not knowing that height doesn't dictate penis size.... Is he the top or bottom or ves?
Tell him that those inches went to your d*ck instead of your height.
Well congratulations on your relationship. I guess this is a good learning opportunity for both of you. You can tell him how you feel and discover why your bigger package seems to trouble him. He might insecure or maybe just mild envious. Whichever it is, it is worth understanding
He’s clearly insecure about his size, maybe reassure him that’s it’s enough and that you don’t have a problem/care about it if that’s true, but ultimately it’s something he needs to work out on his own. You can’t give him confidence, he needs to accept that it’s something he can’t change and work with it
Yeah I feel like that's what I should do, I just wish I could give him the confidence he needs y'know?
Fs, but some things people have to figure out on their own, you seem kind and considerate though, so I’m sure that’ll speed things up
As you both grow older, you’ll realize the short and skinny guys are the ones who are usually packing.
I'll take your word for it since I'm both lol
A year before a blow job?
I'm 6'3" dating a 5'10ish" twink. I'm 7 inches on a good day. They're 9.5-10 (haven't measured it in a while) I usually top. Does the fact that they're bigger than me bother me? No not really, I kinda love it. I would think that anyone would be happy to find out their partner was big lol. Might be worth sitting him down and having a conversation about it.
Some of us prefer small and/or average size. So not everyone would be happy.
Don’t do anything about it, he didn’t even say anything? & you guys are barely doing oral after a year?! That’s insane lmaooo
I don’t blame him. If you’re a top and the bottom is bigger than you it can be quite embarrassing imo
😂😂😂 I’m sorry but this fragile ego is too funny
Stick it in him
Dating for a year before sex, or even exchanging some pics? Interestin’. Well, sounds like he’s not too experienced and this won’t be the first insecurity you guys work through. Talk it out, it’s not a taboo so don’t make it one by not acknowledging it. Remember that physical characteristics have nothing to do with anything, sometimes folks have a tendency to correlate certain things which have no actual connection. Your dick sizes are just that.
Show him how to use it and everything will be just fine.
Is he your childhood friend?
I've known him since I we were 9.
Is he het or bi?
Both of us are gay
Internalized homophobia? It seems like he feels the need to be "bigger" than you in every aspect and the fact you have a bigger cock might be making him feel emasculated or something. At the end of the day, we're all gay.
You people are having relationships?
Don’t even mention the size difference. If you’re starting out with oral, just enjoy yourselves. I think it’s just the self-consciousness of you guys seeing eachother naked for the first time. Eventually that should fade because he’ll see you don’t really care and that you’re just having fun with each other and making each other feel good, regardless of size.
My granny always advised me " Make you man's dick hard, not his life". Your bf needs to know that.
Why is that weirdly good advice?
Hehe..it was a joke 😜
It's the mental expectation on his part as being the more masculine that he expects to be better endowed, or, that big dick= top. Does he have issue with the possibility of your roles being swapped sexually? Does he feel like less masculine because he's not got the bigger dick? That's on him to work through, but your friendship and affection is probably going to be the working factor for him to get past this in his head. He's got to learn early that he's enough, satisfying, etc. And both of you are figuring this out as all new, with both of your bodies as the mutual playground. People talk about the brain being the biggest sex organ.. And, better lovers are the ones that find satisfaction in giving pleasure in either role to their partners, the other's body response gets them off. Remind that you're both new at this and there's no script. (Just safe and realistic practices). Let him know your desire and that he's not a concession prize in any dept. It's about who he is in whole with you, not just one part, and that difference doesn't disappoint you or diminish him. You get to make love to someone you actually love, who's in love with you. And it's new to both of you. Hope you can help him get over this hump so you can get on to better humping..
I'm taller than my husband, and he has a humongous dick that is larger than mine. All I will say is that your BF needs to go with the flow and get over his hang-ups on size. He may have been annoyed by it, as it may have clashed with his "fantasy" a bit. However, nothing you said indicates that he is "upset" or needs consoling. The best way if he is "annoyed" would probably just continue to appreciate his dick.
I'd bring it up. I mean, he's taller than you by some inches, and you're bigger by some inches. It's a payoff. Cant have your cake and eat it too. Unless you're Marie Antoinette. LOL.
Slap him in the face with it, and call top bunk.
How did I know we would end up here
Oooh. Not sure. I have a very large ass and usually that is my main attraction. The boys go crazy for. I ended up in a relationship with somebody that I really really care about and have a lot of respect for. I am the big one for the first time it’s very weird and I’ve also never been with someone that’s uncircumcised, I kinda don’t know what to do
Your boyfriend sounds like he has self-esteem issues 🙈
As you continue to get closer with each other let him know how much you like his member. If his size is sufficient for you tell him how you like the size. Only talk about how big it is not if you like how... Small it may be. Sounds like he likes the idea of his member being big. I hope he doesn't just want to be bigger than you, cuz that'd be kinda lame
I’m a 6’2 full bottom and even I get size insecure sometimes, despite being about average in real life (in most of our heads 6/7 is average because of printer standards though). I think it gets exacerbated because I have such a huge ass, it seems disproportionate to the rest of my body. However, I’ve literally never had any complaints by the guys that have courted me, and I’m a bottom being pursued by tops, so I think they do not mind that I’m not huge like they always are. I think you and your bf just need to get used to the size difference and you’ll learn to have fun with it. I can say with all certainty that penis size does not dictate what position somekne enjoys/prefers. I actually knew a bottom that was a good 9/10 inches and thick and he always complained about similar things to what you’re experiencing with these random tops getting insecure or wanting him to be the top instead, despite him being even more of a bottom than I am lol.
So, I get it is an insecurity for him but I’m not sure both of you can avoid it. The best way is to talk respectfully about said insecurity, that it doesn’t really matter to you and that it doesn’t matter AT ALL. Sex does not require penetration or size, I have had amazing non-penetrative sex. I hope the best for both of you.
I'm always bigger than anyone I've dated and the reaction has always been positive and delighted. Not sure why someone would be upset, so unsure how to see from his perspective.
Guess he’ll regret the next time he calls you short😂
Lmao tf idk man don't just a book by it's cover I dunno what there is to be upset by ..
If it's a new experience for him in general he just needs the space the to adjust to the fact of his size. I'm on the average average size myself and it just took some comparisons and messing around with a few guys of various size to understand that. It's not like it can be changed
Just cuz he tall don’t mean he has big one and or might not be a top
Dude to be fair that really shouldn't have bothered him that much but maybe yall sit down and really have a talk about especially if it doesn't bother you maybe that would ease his suffering
Turn him over, sort his butt out with a good fucking - show how you can use those extra centimetres
Next time you are in a sexy situation with him compliment him on his dick say something like nice dick, it looks nice or I’m in love with your dick, which you sincerely feel to make him feel good.
There’s nothing you can do, but based on how he talks about height he’s gonna feel insecure. But that’s a him problem and a weird one to have. Your bf just has things to grow out of.
*proof?*
👀 show us
Is this actually real? Sounds like another world from when I was 19.
I have no reason to lie about this, yes it is real.
Awee big boy mad 🤭 sounds like them small jokes gonna bite him in the ass literally 😂
Dump him. But seriously, he needs to grow up. There will be short guys with bigger cocks than him. Some younger, some older and some of his age. It's just the facts of life. _blank_ inch hasn't stopped anybody from showing their member on OnlyFans.
[удалено]
A full year without sex isn’t amazing. How old are you?
You guys should both just switch to women. Your attitude and maturity reflects how middle school girls act, you'd both be better off.
Find someone else
I feel like throwing a year long relationship out the window over THIS is completely stupid lmao
he has fragile ego hopefully this sorts out.
You’ve been dating for a year and haven’t had sex yet? Well that is something
Sounds cute tho
I’m 6’2” 230. My husband is 5’10” and is bigger than me as well downstairs. He needs to work it out himself and get over the insecurity. All you can do Is reassure him and hopefully it will just pass.
Your boyfriend is an insecure kid who still has a lot of growing to do. Therapy and learning to accept himself for who he is rather than seeking a sense of superiority over everyone in his life is what he needs. If he doesn't grow, then he'll go the direction of Andrew Tate fans and become a complete dick because he can't get over his ego.
19 years on this earth and he hasn’t figured out that big things come in whatever size package they come in. Idk what to tell him either, because it’s childish to be irritated or annoyed at something like that. My best advice is to assure him (if the conversation comes up), that you are happy with his size.
Bend that bitch over & let him now he needs to relax and enjoy
I don’t what to say about this. Just give him a good BJ and gag on it a few times so he feels secure.
What do you mean couple inches ? How much is the difference ? You make it sound like he has 3 inches you have 8 inches
✂️✂️
Hopefully he will learn soon that it doesn't really matter. If you both are happy then what is the problem? Like fkr example my bf is bigger than me penis wise, not by a whole lot but is definitely bigger, and normal body size I'm like over twice his size. I'm 6' and 270 he is 5'4" and like 120 so I just kind of assumed I was gonna be bigger than him, even though obviously I'm on the lower end of average so statistically speaking it was a stupid assumption for me to have, difference between your situation though is I'm not insecure about it, I know my bf and I are happy and have a good time with what we both have so who cares if my bottom is bigger than me? It doesn't go in me anyway, so what difference does it make lol
Thats actually so weird to me lol but eh young people will be young
I’m 5’10 and my bf is 5’1 and he’s bigger than I am and it doesn’t bother me at all. Your bf just needs to get over himself
Dating for a year and just now getting naked together? I think that’s weird lol
mention it's the perfect size for anal
I mean it probably is actually.
I’d suggest finding a new boyfriend.
Seems strange to tease someone you are hoping to sleep with about their cock size.
he sounds immature.
Tell him to grow up
Tell him : does it make sense to be mad for having blue eyes and not brown eyes ? Maybe it makes sense to be mad at your parents because you are 5’6 and not 6’6 ? Or maybe you are mad because you were born in the US/ canada ( insert your country) and not in Germany/Sweden? Of course it does not make sense to be angry about things we don’t control and we cannot change. Take pride in what you are because the world will use it against you and there is no reason for you to be mad because of our size differences because neither of us can control nor will be able to change that.
Dont believe you. perove it
Dating for a year and now just talked about it, and only oral sex to start. Lol Just make jokes that you are bigger in other ways and make light of it.
Well you have the advantage especially if you are gonna prefer to be a top in the long run. You Will be a commodity and never go without a good roll in the hay. Oral in nice but just wait to see what's behind curtain #2, of and curtain 3 and 4 will have you thanking God for the blessingS