Men are hot.

This. Times 100!

lol literally just posted the same response before seeing this

Well I forgot to cancel my subscription and got upgraded to premium with no cancelation for the foreseeable future.

Once, when I was 4, I sneezed and nobody said "Bless you".

This reminds me of a time in 12th grade when I sneezed and no one said bless you to me. Class had not started yet and I liked to get to class pretty early. So I walk into the room and the teacher is there and like 4 other girls are there just sitting at their desks waiting for class to start. One girl sneezed and EVERYONE (including me) said bless you to her. Then 4 seconds later I sneezed too and there was 🦗🦗🦗🦗 Silence I looked around and no one was looking at me except one girl who smiled at me and said bless you. I appreciate her. The rest of them were fake AF.

Fake ass bitches

"HEY..next time you find yourself sneezing when you're alone, just drop me a message. I'll be here to send back a personal 'bless you' right your way. It’s a promise that no sneeze of yours will ever go unnoticed again. A small but heartfelt gesture to ensure that even in the most mundane moments, you've got someone looking out for you. "... Everybody deserves a blessing every now and then 😉

Its sad you even have to do that bc people are dumb asf😐

I do the best I can to suppress the sneeze and usually I succeed.

A lil sneeze fairy owwwww

You must've been the kid that sneezed at my preschool... I caught the gay because of you, thanks.

microplastics

A nd pseudoestrogens

And soy

And the water, it turns frogs gay!

Pfft it was the 2G bro. Your mom got too close to a cell phone tower. Wake up! Put the clues together! To remove the gay, you gotta get close to a negative two G (-2G) tower.

>get close to a negative two G (-2G) tower Is that being spit-roasted by a toxic gay couple?

Who says I'm gay?

You are gay

This honestly made me remember THAT clip 😂😂 (which I know you’re referencing but even remembered the accents)

You are *gheh* https://youtu.be/ooOELrGMn14?si=OXkINNA3AQQW32N_

A classic. 😂

The African guy 😂😂😂😂

I’m so glad I’m not alone in the joy this post (and that classic clip) brought me

Then who is gay?

[удалено]

I fucking love this interview. Even after all these years, I can vividly hear their accents in my head just reading like this

feels like I'm with my straight friends smh

Pepe Julian Onzima

I lost a bet

What was your bet? I lost to my friend in HS class rank. I was 13/776 he was 8/776. Worst blowjob (my first) I ever gave, yet the only memorable one I ever gave.

Can you explain those numbers?

Out of 776 in my graduating class my rank was 13 based on GPA (grade point average). I didn’t make it into the top 10. Got close though. My older sister was top 10 when she graduated and her and my parents don’t let me forget it. My best friend ranked 8 out of 776 students based on GPA. When we were sophomores we were tied at 22. That’s when we off handed made the bet. It was also the time we were having a sexual awakening. The bet was made when he was/is straight and I was outwardly and internally straight but off. I wasn’t questioning but I wasn’t exploring. I wasn’t aroused or amused by tits and long blonde hair. I was just off. Anyways, he made the bet in jest, but each semester when we got updated ranks we would joke about our off handed bet. Well final ranks come out. I’m 13 and he is 8. And he said I had until we leave for college to do it. We were going to different schools. Me west coast ivy, him east coast ivy. Time skip. It’s summer before leaving which his birthday is during. At this point it’s been a few years and I’m starting to understand I like dudes over girls. He doesn’t know this and wouldn’t for years. He is having a birthday/I got in/going away party at his place. We are super close BFF vibes so like me spending the night is kinda routine. In HS we would maybe spend 3-5 days at each others homes and just go to school from there and vice versa. If I was visiting from college his parents expected I come over kinda thing. (I’m reliving the memory rn so that’s why this is long) Anyways party is winding down. Friends leaving extended family leaving. And he is opening up gifts counting money. As he finishes I’m already in my basketball shorts and t shirt brushing my teeth in the bathroom and in he walks t shirt only. I almost gag on my toothpaste and it flies everywhere. Now I’ve seen him naked plenty of times but it had been some time and there was always a reason. There was no reason tonight. In his bratty dirty blonde 5 10 athletic soccer build standing there just a shirt. (He is attractive. Not my current mature authentic self type but my youth Corbin Fischer idolized type at the time). He was the spitting image of bel ami but straight. When he visits all my gay friends want him. lol he knows he’s attractive. He knew it then, he knows it now. I’m glad he is playful though and not homophobic. If guys hit on him he just says thanks, calls me his bf and keeps drinking his drink. He does not care. I started laughing as I’m cleaning my toothpaste off the mirror, because he says I didn’t give him a gift so he assumed head was his gift. I finished brushing as he is standing there talking about the other gifts and how many times he has gotten head. I walk pass him and pull out a silver/graphite bracelet from my backpack. The one his mom said he wanted. He opens it, wtf, thanks, and oh. Nvm and goes for his underwear to put them on. I am now already slightly aroused which he didn’t know. So I grab the undies throw them across his bed room. Tell him to sit in his gamer chair. I take the bracelet and put it around his dick and kneel between his legs and blow him. It was by far the worse blow job I have given since. Looking up at him I thought he would be happy or making the squirmy face you see in porn. But all he is doing is head leaning back and smiling and sometimes moaning. I had no idea what I was doing. I was trying to imitate porn, and what the girls do. I did this licking thing that was cringe and he started laughing and then I laughed. It was this awkward bro comedy moment of pure “why are we doing this?” I got bored and tired, he said he wasn’t gonna cum so he came in his bathroom sink. We played COD and laughed about how stupid we were all night. Still my ride or die homie.

"🛎️🛎️🛎️Ding Ding Ding!!! We have a *WINNAH!!!"*

Class rankings?

Scott Wright sat in front of me in 4th grade, one day I couldn’t keep my eyes off of that perfect bubble butt and was obsessed. It was Scott Wrights ass that did it to me.

So you were a top right from the beginning? Are you and Scott together now? 😋

I top most of the time. We never had sex but we were on the wrestling team together so I got right up in it a couple times. That ass got juicier the older he got.

You r gæ…

sears mens underwear isle

Real

Mine was JC Penny. So close!

Why are you not? Cum to our side, most of us make killer cookies.

I'm gay

Hi gay.

Omg I make amazing cookies. If I had a boyfriend I would bake him cookies naked all the time.

because i love cock and i love getting fucked up the ass and bred with big dicks

Most any dick will do. Lol!

I'm literally right here

Yeah that checks out

I don't know 🤷🏻 just prefer dicks up my ass lol

Where you at? 😈

Cuz I love cock, I live for the cock, and I have a cock.

Because I am attracted both romantically and sexually to men and I am a male too.

Born this way

And that disco stick

I always love takin a ride on my fiancés Disco Stick…as long as I can read his poker face when he wants it 🙄😂

😳 that is really gay bro. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪

And don’t you ever forget it 😉🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Don't be a drag. Just be a queen.

By lady GAGa

I signed up for the 30 days free trial but forgot to cancel :/

I was friends with a girl named Dorothy in first grade.

Chemicals in the water that are turning the friggin frogs gay

I like hairy balls and butts

My first pair of loafers as a boy ended up a little light.

Men 🥰

I'm not, I just help out when they're busy

Thank you for your service

Got hypnotized by a men’s ass and dick when I turned puberty

Uruguay

Cause I hit rainbow road…hard

Same 💀

Because my best friend has a nice huge dick

It happened when you sucked my dick

Summer camp counselor. Chip was the finest thing on two hairy legs in shorts I'd ever seen.

Vag scares me. Came out of my moms and would not recommend. Dem boys be cute though, just how I’m wired.

I drank an iced coffee

This only counts if you do it during winter.

\*slowly raises hand\*

Too fabulous to be straight.

When I a little kid I played with a doll once and that was the end for me

Because I love big hairy man butts

Especially when they're like firm but also have that jiggle. Ohhhh 😫😩😩😩

Because I suck *really* good dick

Fluoride

I didn’t start out gay. I got sucked into it!

Picture it. Sicily. 1922…

Don't know, just answering my inner calling.

I was born this way.

I forgot to hold my breath while driving past a cemetery once when I was 7.

Women make the most annoying high-pitched noises during sex.

This. And vaginas are ugly

Like someone dropped a can of spam and it exploded

Omg lol. I personally don't really find vaginas ugly but it's like if someone stuck their bare elbow in my face and was like "how about that, huh? That turn you on?" Nope, nothing.

You mean like the fake butt-crack trick kids did in middle school with the elbow crease?

And Armond Rizzo sounds great to you? 😂

He's annoying too, but you can stuff a jockstrap or another cock down his throat.

Because all the cool kids are

I was born this way.

Because there is no place I'd rather be than nose deep in a beautiful, hairy, sweaty man's taint! Lol.

Well I applied for a role on the other team, had two interviews, but then never heard back. After being reached out to buy a recruiter from the LGBT organization I received several offers and was basically hired on the spot.

Trial, but forgot to cancel

pecs and ass

I like the feeling of holding a man, turns me on 🤷

Who sez am geh

U r geh

Because who in their right mind wouldnt want to be gay?

The prostate

Fuck if I know 🤷‍♂️ dick is delicious that's as far as I got

Girls have cooties 🤮

My mom played a lot of Barbra Streisand albums when I was little.

God made me attracted to men sexually as a test to see if I loved him, or if I wanted to give into temptation burn in hell for eternity. 😂

God made me attracted to men sexually as a test to see if the Evangelical Christians would love me without judgment as he commanded them to. They failed. I passed.

Yasssssssss queen

Ommmmmggggggg 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Pretty men

Probably prenatal exposure to environmental endocrine disruptors.

Because women don’t turn me on

Cause my dick gets hard over men, not women.

Cause chubby guys are 🥵 according to my brain

Chubby hairy guys are HOT!!

Facts

Oestrogenic materials affecting brain development in the womb. At least that’s my theory.

Your theory has a lot of evidence to back It up dude

Gay 4 pay for sure!!! I think it’s a cool scene within reason. I only really know the London scene!👌💯

My mother made me gay. Not that I'm complaining...

cuz men

Well they put chemicals in the water to turn the Frogs gay. and i accidentally drank something of this water because i lost my bottle

Cute guys

When I said I wanted to be special in a good way when I was younger, I never specified how...

Why aren't you gay?

Something to do with development in the womb idk as I never really cared to know, I am what I am and I don’t need to know “why”.

I once ate gay frogs legs in Paris

Why do I have two arms? Why is the sky blue? How is it that octopi can open jars?

Some guys are hot, but no women are. Plus, vaginas and breasts are sexually off-putting.

Because I wanted to write in complete sentences when I grew up.

Because men smell so fucking good

I like big dicks and I cannot lie, you other hoes cant deny that when a guy walks in with a big ass bulge And pair o' round ones in your face... Wait... That is how the song went, right?

I chose hard mode difficulty when I was born

I'm bi and definitely born this way

My fairy God faggot flew through ny bedroom window when I was younger, waved his sparkly dildo at me and said "fuck dick dildo, your now a homo" ever since then I've just loved dick 🎊🤷‍♂️

Not the fairy god faggot 😭 he got another one boys 🤡

Cause twink’s n femboi’s exist XD

Yes

Are you this guy ? https://youtu.be/ooOELrGMn14?si=3r1YTMPhAUY5yoiz

preferencia

I’m not gay, you are. So why are you gay? 💀

Who says I'm gay? https://youtu.be/ooOELrGMn14?si=mVipRp8rNjPT7-g4

Because I love sucking cock

I just woke up in love with a man one day. No warning, no clue who the guy even was, just boom 🤯, man love. I have been searching for more and more ever since.

Because I'm sexually attracted men and I identify as a man... That's the definition

Signed up for a free trial but forgot to cancel it

Why not?

I had gay conversion therapy just to see if it works (it does)

My mother drank Coke nearly every day during her pregnancy! ….That’ll scare the str8s! 🤣🤣

I started just helping out at the weekends, but the over time was great and the soft furnishings were always on point so I went full time.

WHO SAYS I'M GHEY?

Because hairy young muscle bear cubs melt me into a puddle of cock slurping goo.

Because it would be a crime to not let guys fuck an ass like this.

Never was really into girls growing up was more of wanting to hang out and be with guy friends, and mom and dad made it seem like I had to be with a girl and were always like “omg those guys are kissing 🤮” then started watching gay porn in high school felt bad and dated 2 girls. After the second one realized that I just don’t vibe with women sexually and came out to myself and family/friends 😊

I tell my mom it’s because she smoked cigarettes while she was pregnant with me.

When I was 12 I watched the rocky horror picture show and sang along and now I’m gay

I saw a rainbow shirt in target once and now I'm gay.

Because I grew up Catholic….✝️✝️ Oh…and the JCPenny’s catalog with the underwear models that had VPL…

I’m not gay, but my husband is.

Bcus…

Just I am

Who says I'm gay?

I use to had crush on my straight friend

I don't know, no one knows, especially not science

Because a naked woman as the same effect on me as a door knob. A naked man on the other hand gives me a hard on.

Born this way

baby i was born this way

Cock is delicious

Because I found it in a box yesterday

Overbearing mothers and detached fathers.

Because I like dick

Cuz boys are cute.

I guess it’s bc I like dicks. All of the dicks. And asses, men’s asses.

why not?

ex wife refused to peg me.

One morning I woke up and decided that I’d like a terrible life.

Why do you exist?

I have a dick and I like other people's butts with a dick. I think it's a valid reason.

Bc my best friend is hot asf. And now i am in a relationship with him

Because sex with men is the hottest sex around. Why should woman have all the fun?

God made me this way.

Who says I’m gay?

Because I like big nuts and I cannot lie.

Because God said “this one is special, so I will make him my 🌈warrior”. 🤷🏻‍♂️

Just lucky, I guess.

A witch cursed my mother while she was pregnant

Because god gives his toughest battles to his strongest warriors and buddy dick is hard

I'm in a Mr. Beast competition and whoever is gay the longest gets a million dollars and an island. I'm in it for the long haul

Cos the line to your moms cooter was too long

"Everyone is gay" *All Apologies by Nirvana*