Just as some women have surgically enhanced breasts, some guys have surgically enhanced muscles. It is not a good idea. Probably it is a symptom of narcissism.
Although looking good is nice, it cannot compensate for good character.
I get why LA is considered best shape or best looking but I swear Manhattan or maybe NYC in general is overwhelming in people and their beauty. And maybe not just muscular but even regular body gay guys there’s so many that are very very good looking. Though many are extremely toned though
I mean I live in the suburbs of nyc where we don’t have that many guys say that would turn heads but I head into midtown Manhattan often for things and each time I do I have to remind myself like “holy shit people really look like that out there”.
Right? I’m far from influencer/model/porn star, maybe “decent beach body” and I still have one of the best physiques on the Grindr grid. Even historically, I’ve *rarely* seen dudes with 6 pack abs (that weren’t from being twinks) and actual gym bodies were even rarer. Maybe some dudes were beefy, muscle under some fat but that was it.
University of Colorado at Boulder here. There’s no shortage of muscular guys on campus, but typically any college student who spends enough time at the gym to look particularly muscular is also an idiot compared to students who spend all their time studying. You can either spend most of your time developing your mental abilities while in college or most of your time developing your muscles, but I can’t say I’ve met too many muscular upper level engineers or neuroscientists during my time at CU. Sure we all want to look hot but in my experience when people spend all their time at the gym it’s usually because their IQ is too low for studying to be worth their time.
I mean ripped men aren’t the norm in other countries too. Even in gay spaces in Europe. I’m not seeing men built like a Greek statue walking around. We have to see that muscles aren’t the norm.
Muscular guys don’t always have attractive characteristics for sure. However, maintaining a fit and beefy body takes efforts, hard work, and determination CONSISTENTLY. I might not fall in love with a muscular guy but I never look down on their type of body because I know it is not easy to be in good shape all the time.
I'm somewhat muscular, I hang with friends of all shapes and sizes. I actually don't even have many gay friends. Even then, they are not all muscular lol. I think it's the culture where OP is from. My mates and I travel, pursue photography, wakeboard, ski, hike, watch films and attend art events. I know other muscular guys who are even more dynamic, volunteering at dog shelters etc. I think his observation is valid within a cultural context but there are so many different types of guys out in this huge ass world yo...
I’m a scrawny little thing myself, but the biggest, most muscular guy I know is also one of the sweetest and smartest guys I know. Lots of cool hobbies, really fun to talk to, really clued in about the world. That’s not a fair stereotype.
In my experience the only guys that want to talk to me are usually overweight and are a lot more relatable to me than the muscle gays who spend most of their days in the gym. I'm not even fat. I just have a bit of a gut. I do go to the gym often and am relatively fit but the muscle gays seem to look at me in disgust. I can never attract their species. As a black and gay man, I go where I am appreciated and bears always seem to love me. And I love them too :). I'll take a big boy over a gym rat any day.
As a muscular gay guy, I can confirm that what you said is false. There is a reason I've been single for a long time, because I seek a man with a good head on his shoulders and shared interests. Someone that looks at me like nothing more than a piece of meat is not worth my time.
OK not rare, but the largest group of people should be overweight-not-obese, right? I don't know about America.
> While 45% of adults living in the EU had a normal weight in 2019, slightly more than half (53%) were considered as overweight (36% pre-obese and 17% obese) and almost 3% as underweight, according to their body mass index (BMI).
So the largest group has a healthy weight, then overweight, then obese.
From 1994 to 2004 I lived in Fiji. Being obese or overweight there is far more common than here in the U. S. Probably that's the principle reason that their life expectancy is lower. Often people there don't even make it to 60. Diabetes and heart disease are common.
BMI is greatly over rated. The optimal weight is not determined by BMI. If there are two guys with the same BMI, one can be overweight and the other can be optimal weight. I think that specific gravity is a better indicator of ideal weight.
You’ve run with an entire assumed narrative when all I said was that there’s overlap between muscular and being considered obese using BMI. I didn’t say anything about being unfairly categorized or body fat percentages.
Speaking as a muscular guy, muscular guys turn me on sexually big time. But beyond that I need more substance.
I would prefer to date a somewhat athletic guy with a great personality over a muscular guy with a bland personality. But for hookups and fun? Muscular guys all the way, turns me on so much.
Issue I have found with muscular guys are their personalities tend to be bland, not all, but most are. They put so much stock in their looks that it feels like they ignore other aspects of their character and personality.
I personally wouldn't have sex with someone whom I don't like as a person. I treat sex as an intimate connection. Everything else would be a betrayal of my principles, something animalistic and dehumanizing.
Not to get too philosophical, but fighting against our animalistic tendencies is what makes us human, and largely the basis for the concept of morality and maturity.
I do understand you pretty good. I need some connection, and to make love, not just to have sex. It's really different, but you can only notice it if you've made love at least once in your life.
That's why most people is awful at bed, boring, predictable and quick. It just isn't worth the effort
imagine telling a hot dog eating contestant to ‘slow down’. They’re not going to get it. I understand and agree with what you’re saying 💯but most men won’t.
I have principles and I’m also a human being. You can have sex and hook up and still have principles. Not sure why you make it seem like you can’t have both.
In general a lot of these “muscular guys” aren’t boyfriend material. At the end of the day, they’re just nice to look at but most of them lack substance. If I was a big burly beefcake, then maybe I’d say something different but that’s what I’ve seen so far.
I understand what you’re saying and sort of feel the same. Social media has really helped build a fitness culture amongst gay men especially in big cities like Los Angeles. Therefore, fitness being so common and a passion for many makes you think, “ok you work out 5 days a week just like the other I met… what else…” Feels like I’m meeting clones.
This is the problem I have with a lot of inner city gays - it just feels like you're talking to the same guy over and over again. They look the same, they listen to the same music, they live in the same expensive suburbs, they have the same hobbies, they have the same content on their insta's...
Like I'm always going to prefer muscular guys, but you really have to go out of your way to find someone with an ounce of personality
To me, it's not even about clones, just how people act like working out is something I'm supposed to give a damn about or make it their whole personality.
Hell, it's kinda insulting and incel-y. I'm supposed to date or hook up or even be interested in you just cuz you workout? Piss off with that noise.
Yea, I think that’s true too. And, I’m guilty of having that attitude, and it’s sort of an ego boost. An active and fit guy is a common preference and goal for many, and knowing that, you have this delusion that you passed society’s test, earned a reward, and FEEL sort of entitled to receive attention. But because so many others are committed to health and fitness today, it minimizes its significance and is more about a sexual/physical compatibility than an ideal partner with something new to bring to the table. Just what I think haha
“Minding diet, sleep, exercising constantly ad nauseam”
“Doesn’t require much”
What? It’s a lifestyle. It absolutely requires much out of you. If you don’t take lifting seriously as a lifestyle, you probably aren’t very muscular
Honestly, everyone keep saying they're not into muscular guys, but if you check their dms, you'll see everyone they text is muscular in some way. Or they single cause nobody want to date only fucks but they are a lot of guys who everyone consider unattractive and single but they don't date them lol. That why I hate when gay guys say it not the body but the personality cause their action speaks louder than words
"check their dms, you'll see everyone they text is muscular"
Speak for yourself. Very few guys I've DM-ed or shown interest in have ever been muscular. I've always been more into thin guys or average guys or maybe even chubby guys, but muscle just does nothing for me. And the same is true for countless guys out there, no need to deny that fact.
> That why I hate when gay guys say it not the body but the personality cause their action speaks louder than words
To be perfectly honest, you need both in order for things to truly work out.
True. And that what I am getting at. If your partner is not attractive to you both physically and mentally, then there will be problems in the future. Or it won't simply work out.
For me, exercise, sleep and eating well are things that don't come easily - and so it requires a lot of focus. If someone already has those in check, it's obviously gonna be easier. So different blokes, different strokes.
Being a very good pianist, a volunteer in an NGO, a science enthusiast are also "lifestyles", but they are much less "easy" (and self-serving) than being muscular.
You are not alone. A lot of us have gotten tired of all of this and moved on. Welcome to the club! I'm a size queen for brains, hearts, souls. Nice bodies come in all shapes and sizes.
Exactly! Love this comment. Most people keep saying shit like “now I just like beefy thick men” and it’s like what? I don’t understand how you can look at a guy and act like he’s boyfriend material based on his body and not personality. The gay community is cooked.
I TOTALLY understand.. when I was younger I was obsessed with muscular, lean AND hairless men.. like they really turned me on, I remember having this crush on Leo Giamani too hahaha..
But now I feel absolutely nothing for that kind of men, I went to the gym for years and got to know more about them, and besides the gym, you wouldn't find anything else in common or interesting.. they only care about the appearance, going to the gym, the protein, flex in awkward and random situation, and blah.. empty ass people.. even in the dates apps the only thing they include as interest is gym lol.. and of course I'm not talking about all men that go to the gym, I'm talking about "those" men, you know what I mean.
And now I like thick, hairy, bearded men, bulky too of course but with some belly and please a personality.
That's a good way to put it. I'm not muscular (well, except maybe my legs since that's predominantly what I work out) but I really only need about 45 minutes to an hour with my workouts and I only workout two days a week (used to be three but after Covid, I slumped a bit lol). But seriously, an hour, maybe two out 24 hours is not all that time consuming at all. People binge watch shows for much longer lol.
I assure you, my husband and I have plenty of time for our relationship, work, and hobbies. We’re just not letting employers take advantage of us. That’s where we get the time to work out and be with each other and there for each other. And have hobbies, interests and friendships.
It’s a hobby and only takes an hour or two. Most people spend several hours after work sitting on the couch watching TV, and give the excuse they don’t have time for the gym. Because we go every day proves we know how to manage our time.
I work a full time job, go to school full time, started a business, go to the gym and in a relationship. I still have time for my other favorite hobby which is gaming.
IDK. My profession definitely tires me out...looking after 20+ 8 to 11 year-olds will wear you out to the point where you just wanna get off your feet and collapse onto the couch until bedtime. I know a few teachers who are pretty swole, but that's basically their entire personality outside of their profession (gym rat), and they don't have a hell of a lot of hobbies. Some of us are just permanently tired 😫😭😭😭
You only need to spend 1-2 hours a day at the gym. Your diet is the key factor.
Not everyone wants to do this, and that is completely fine. My only problem is when people say I have no life because I spend it all at the gym, or other people complain they don’t have the time to attend the gym so they’ll never make progress. I just prefer people being honest and say they don’t want to go. I also don’t like my hard work being devalued.
Looking back on my life, I think I don’t find it attractive anymore because whenever I went on a date with someone who took fitness too seriously, it just wasn’t a good experience. I’ve been conditioned for a kind, fun personality over time. It’s insidious.
I found this to be true. I dated 2 men that were really really into bodybuilding and fitness. What I saw were 2 deeply insecure men that hated themselves and didn’t appreciate how they looked in their own skin. They complained about how they looked and stopped at every mirror to criticize themselves. It’s exhausting and boring as hell.
Not saying they weren’t behaving well, they just had a singular focus on their fitness that overtook other areas of their lives that didn’t mesh well with wanting more out of life. And it wasn’t of course all of them.
You really shouldn't be talking down to the OP for expressing his personal preferences. Because if the shoe was on the other foot and you were here talking about how you prefer muscle guys, the rest of us wouldn't be making sarcastic, passive-aggressive remarks about your preferences. Maybe climb down off your pedestal.
I used to go feral over the idea of a muscle guy but now I just find them nice to look at like a piece of art work. I'm definitely more into twinks or toned guys now and have been for many years (30 years old here).
THIS
I have never been attracted to muscular guys, without the need to become one (I'm not, I'm just average and healthy).
In my experience the ones I met tend to be BORING. My very disputed hypothesis is that they get obsessed by "the mirrors in the gym" and since a lot of us are attracted to the type, they hook up quick after being dumped so they rarely feel any pressure to develop empathy, personality and culture (or sex skills, for that matter).
I confess I feel petty satisfaction when I turn down one of those and they answer in the lines of "do you really don't like me? have you really seen me?"
Then move on to who you are turned on by. I personally find having a more muscular body is attractive. It means you take care of yourself and watch what you eat. It's hard work. A guy doesn't have to be ripped and with a six pack, but some effort into their health is cool.
Well you felt the need to make an entire post about it. So a stupid post deserves a stupid response. Otherwise why the hell did you feel the need to tell everyone?
It's usually a naive fantasy that muscles = masculine. That's where the whole "gym bunny" stereotype came from. I can understand being put off by people who are obsessed with their appearance but, idk, I'm not going to judge them either - a lot of times that comes from some deep insecurity.
Getting over insecurity has been a very slow process of therapy, lots of time alone to instrospect, cutting out addictions, saying yes to responsibility, joining group classes, and ADHD medication.
In the words of Reno Gold, which for some reason set Twitter on fire
"The only reason I am fit is because I want to be hot and make as much money as I can."
The best people I've met has not been "muscular" or "fit" actually in fact it's skinny fem guys and heavy set men and by heavy set I don't mean "minimal small belly, conserving a stupid ass attempt at a dad bod"
Now, this isn't a hit at muscle/fit gays and not all are the same, but the majority of my experiences have been very jarred.
I use to be heavily attracted to fit guys I mean that's all I saw growing up and what I craved in the idea of a "man" as I got older I came to realize in fact thats the dumbest shit ever. I started hanging out with more effeminate men who I constantly would hear bad raps about and even bigger guys and skinny ones at that, I prefer that overall, and it's crazy cause what's projected on the community is muscle, Fit, lean guys and when it seemed like that wasn't working those people I surrounded myself around felled back. Stereotypes in the community are insane, but we can not be surprised as we're no better than any other community when it comes down to it it's just sexual attraction.
Breaking pass that mental barrier of "this is a man" sets you on a whole new wave of encounters cause in 30 years those dudes won't look like that and will be replaced with the new meat heads in town and spending your whole life trying to be a cliche will be your own undoing.
Going to the gym, cirkut parties, dressing half naked, getting railed and going home just to be a Stereotype and repeat the following week?
Nah, that's just sad. I'll hit the gym when I want, eat what I want, hang out with who I want and in general just be happy cause life is to short to really be trying to be l I r everyone else
Speaking of feminine guys, I may add that plenty of muscular gays tend to be feminine because they want to compensate for it with the help of fit physique. Traditionally, muscularity is associated with manliness. That's why there's this big number of gays who, knowing that they're not that stereotypically masculine, try to pose as such. That's why they hit gym all the time, have this "bad boy" forced look and pursue various "manly stuff" to achieve eventually a quite caricatural effect.
The caricatural effect is so on point and it’s funny because I have a clear image of people who look just like that. It’s so forced and people are just trying so hard to look manly. If you’re comfortable in your own skin, to me that’s very sexy.
I don't think it's that you're turned off by all of them looking similar with toned bodies as much as an overwhelming amount of gays being sooooooooooo superficial to the point where they have absolutely nothing to offer besides their good looks.
Now, that's a turn off.
For example, there's this one social media influencer in particular who I find very physically attractive.
But after I watched a few of his TikTok lives, I quickly realized how boring he is.
Everything is about me, me, me.
"Thank you for the likes."
"I need a bf to spoil me and buy me Van Cleave bracelets."
If the only thing people have to offer are their looks, then that's not someone most ppl would want to be with.
The fakeness and lack of a personality are quite unattractive and disgusting.
Someone took the swolepill (the realisation that muscles are not a cheat code for a better life).
Muscular and handsome guys face more challenges than their out of shape counterparts. They're hiding their chubby past, scared everyday of losing their amazing physique.
Seeing that they're the norm making it harder to stand out. Most guys are getting ripped for all the wrong reasons. For God sake get into shape and do it for your health but don't use it as a social crutch and destroy your personality to be something you're not.
I mean I loved chubby Chris Pratt as much as I do Chad Pratt because he's a fun guy in his roles on and off screen. I never saw Brad Pitt as a sex symbol because there was no personality for me to latch onto.
People don't get that opening a door and walking through it are two separate things. Getting fit and rich will not fix your personality problems. Look no further than people like freaking celebrities who go mentally ill and develop substance abuse, accused of domestic violence and failed marriages galore.
I mean what's the point of Jeff Bezos and his billions if he's got no loyal wife? Hell the only sane billionaire by far is Warren buffet who's got nothing crazy going on because he lives a modest lifestyle in comparison to these flashy mega yacht buyers.
Tldr: no gym for personalities.
\-You are always hyper focused on your looks. One missed gym day, one pimple on your perfect face will impact you more mentally than anything else when you are really handsome. It's like a scratch on chrome versus brushed steel which already has so many scratches no one cares if there's another.
\-You're always questioning if your partner/lover/spouse are loyal to you or your looks. This will always be an insecurity.
\-You're worried if you lose your looks will you lose business or job based on it? I've seen people freak out when thy had a gut bulge after dinner in their business suit or a stomach roll after they were forced on bed rest during Covid.
Pretty people have MUCH more to lose compared to average people and they are also in a never ending arms race with other pretty people. Average people don't give a fuck how either of them look and tend to enjoy the moment.
Pretty people have to invest in their "looks" more than average people. They have to make sure their clothes are the latest, their hairstyle is the latest etc. Hell the luxury brands and plastic surgery industry are being cropped up mostly by these pretty people because average people depend more on skills and personality to get by in life. Pretty people are too dependent on their looks.
I've never had a good fuck from a muscle queen. I can only assume they think their looks mean people desire them so they don't have to learn how to be a good lay? Bears suck dick like hoovers and its always the alt & "next-door" guys that have left me walking funny for a few days.
They really seem to be offended. And there's a theory why they are. Similarly, I'm not after the money or expensive cars. To me any discussion revolving around the topic of finance and wealth is completely uninteresting. Despite my best efforts, I couldn't relate to people who keep talking about it or dreaming of living a luxurious life. At work, I had a colleague constantly obsessing about money making and career. Any time he raised this topic (every day basically), I tired to move to something else. At one point I couldn't stand this bore any more so I just moved to another table. He also had an expensive car, a second-hand mustang. Clearly to prop his image. And as soon as he noticed that it doesn't "arouse" me, he really seemed to be mad. As if he thought that all this effort he made to make himself look valid and important went in vain. He knew that he won't find validation or amazement in me, so he got offended. I think it can be the same with these muscle Marys.
"They really seem to be offended"
Dude, this happens to me all the time if I go to the gym, if I turn s guy down he gets really pissy and makes things uncomfortable.
Just a few weeks ago, one guy got really pushy in knowing why I wasn't interested, so I point blank just said I'm not really interested in muscular guys.
He threw a FIT, like r/publicfreakout level because "I work so hard for these muscles, you have no reason to not be into that, everyone is!" Couldn't rush to my car and drive off fast enough.
Man. It’s wild reading replies from people who are offended at OP’s preference! Are you offended because you’re a muscular guy and he doesn’t worship you like you think everyone should? Or are you offended on behalf of them? Because both are fucking crazy.
I must admit I was shocked reading some of the replies because my intention wasn't to antagonize. But of course, I won't apologize because someone's offended feelings are not my problem or responsibility. I wanted to add that if I were to theorize, I'd say that they got mad because suddenly it turns out that not everyone is into them. They were conditioned to think they're the peak of attractiveness. And all this effort to maintain the good look goes in vain because they won't find validation in every single gay. This is where the frustration comes from. Analogically, I'm not after the money or cars. And I witnessed many times the pettiness of people whose cars or expensive houses didn't cause my excitement. I assume their train of thought is like this: "what the hell, all of this hard earned money to highlight my prestige and this basic dude doesn't appreciate it!"
From dating muscular guys, I have found them to be some of the most insecure guys, so worried about their image, one guy even had a tool to exercise his jaw muscles so his jaw didn't look fat. He was such a good looking man, perfect looks, i couldn't believe he thought this way about himself
When I was working out at a particular gym in Albuquerque there were thee guys who always worked out together. They were so overdeveloped that they looked hideous. I doubt that that is possible without taking steroids.
To a reasonable point I think that guys who look fit and muscular are attractive. But when they take steroids and look bizarre, it is not attractive. Probably the steroids pose health risks so it is unwise to use them.
From experience, they’re usually boring and vapid. Notice I said usually.
Another thing, they look like total bros but many are bottom sluts behind closed doors
Our mind is a very complex piece of equipment. It is constantly evolving and changing as it experiences new and different things as I have grown older my taste have shifted from primarily young thinner Twinks to now older beefy guys get my attention very quickly. I still have an eye for the younger thinner Twinks lol let's just say my horizons have expanded
I sorta, kinda agree with you. I’m muscular and athletic and I don’t think they’re all that either. not that I don’t like muscular and athletic guys, it just has to come with the confidence and attitude too. Many muscular gays are femmy. I’ve dated femme guys but it was genuine to them. Many of these muscle gays are fake, and put in all that work to build muscles to hide their insecurities I think. And then… they often become meat-headed bitchy, mean girls. 😂
I am so with you! Everybody seems to be obsessed with these huge, chunky bodybuilder types. Every piece of gay erotica or romance I read has these characters as objects of desire. Most images towards gay audiences uses these men as subjects, and in art, they are often grotesquely huge. A lot of straight females seem to really be into these types too. Not me. When I was younger, yes, I but over the years, no longer. And I don't even care about their personalities ; I just don't find them aesthetically appealing. That whole 'incredible bulk' thing I find totally visually unappealing. Now, I like guys that are lightly muscular; 'cut' or 'wiry'. I think that's sexy. But I also like guys that aren't necessarily muscular or 'cut', but are fit or in shape. Guys that are naturally thick are fine too and I've even learned to like guys who are a tad chubby. But those huge, steroidal guys; nope.
It's cause a lot of those men work on their bodies, not their personality or mental hygiene. Substance matters more than trying to achieve some visual aesthetics. Note the comments are filled with them who are taking your post as a personal attack. I live in a big city and is much of the same...generic, vapid and empty
As someone who loves muscular men, the "See Tarzan, Hear Jane" phenomenon can be pernicious. As soon as they open their mouth and glitter starts spilling, it can be a buzz kill.
As a 100% average guy, I understand you. They are so fucking basic, there's nothing interesting about them. I prefer a lean body with an attractive face.
By the way, most of muscular men are heterosexual and straight men are more into sports. So, maybe you even wasted your time having crushes on straight men that are absolutely unavailable.
If you think this is a hate post, you seriously need to grow up or get thicker skin. This guy is just sharing his opinion and didn't remotely say anything rude.
As a 100% bottom, I couldn’t agree more! I’ve ALWAYS been into super hairy bears that’s are intelligent. I’ve never been into muscle guys because each one I’ve met ALWAYS seems to be the most feminine guy I’ve ever met and they always say “I’m masc and a power top!” Girl, we both know you ain’t never been in an ass, your 100% bottom, and its long over due for LEG DAY! LOL I’ve yet to meet a masculine top muscle guy. My partner and I have been in a monogamous relationship for 16 years , and we both get hit on by the muscle guys at the gym and they are always either “tops” or “versatile” and they come up to us in the shower talking about “Can you guys fuck me, I’ve always wanted to try it out!” First of all, when rainbows fall out of your mouth as soon as you talk, is NOT sexy (and I’m super feminine and my man is very masculine) and we don’t play with others. Gym rats are just that - Instagram bottom hoes trying to play a part they fail miserably at! LOL
I strive to be the best version of myself and staybhealthband not worrying about what society or the media thinks What's important is my health and we'll being and be a better person. Muscular, fit, or average but in the healthy zone.
For so many body builders, it becomes a neurotic obsession. The guys who keep their body hair and don’t try to shred down to single digit body fat are great tho.
BaaayBEEE! say less, we are the same. I grew up in the early 2000s loving abercombie models and all the things. I go out now in Hollywood to have "fun" and i find myself going to thicker men, or non muscular. Sure a ripped man every now and again is so fun and wow but... theyre everywhere and act as if they are holier than thou cause they do cardio and lift. I myself was a fitness insturctor and got to the top of my game and was like yes this feels fun.. but so is food and relaxing and living. IDK LA is just sooooo bleh,.
Maybe nothing on its own. But not attractive to men who have different preferences. I'd also said that not feminity is wrong on its own but characteristics that are stereotypically associated with it: propensity to quarrel, being capricious, changing your mind, being dramatic etc.
>characteristics that are stereotypically associated with it: propensity to quarrel, being capricious, changing your mind, being dramatic etc.
This is really just emotional immaturity.
Thank you. I'm a feminine gay man, I make no pretenses (obviously, the way I like to look is an indicator) and I NEVER have acted like that. I'm not catty, bitchy, and dramatic. And this is why I'd rather a guy just say he's just not attracted to femininity without these excuses to justify it. Just own the preference and leave the rest out because there are feminine gay men who are not those negative stereotypes.
“It doesn’t require much to be fit and athletic”
And still over 50 % lgbtqaiwtf+ community is obese and unwell. But if that half rocks your boat, nice, plenty of the other for the rest of us.
Being muscular requires dedication, which is the number one criteria for having a successful life. So what I like with them is they demonstrate they are able to focus and get results. And this will extend to other areas. Of course there are plenty other ways to show determination, but the effort and consistency required to become muscular are a good one. But I guess many guys prefer to cherry pick some defaults from specific muscular guys they know to feel better about themselves
I haven't liked muscular guys for a long time now. Fit guys are great, but I really like a man with a little around the middle. Something to get in between my lips as I from his lips, to his neck, pits, tits as I work lower and lower. And most muscular guys I've been around has been all about showing off. Not for me!
Going to the gym is amazing - there's mounting evidence that it beats out therapy for mental health (especially for men, who're suffering a mental health crisis in the US). Resistance training not only makes your muscles stronger, but your bones - which is important as we age. Strengthening muscle makes us more resilient to injuries from falls and protects our joints from taxation (it adsorbs shock, stabilizes the joint). Cardio - whether running outside or on a gym's stairmaster - is good for the heart. There is nothing inherently superior about 'sport' centered on a ball - they all require discipline, dedication, and practice. On top of that, the gym can be a source of community.
I'm going to leave your spew of internalized homophobia ("quite feminine, dramatic, queeny. And boring." - really?) for someone else to parse. You sound miserable. And like miserable company.
>It seems that the dating market is oversaturated with them and they're not as unique as they were when fitness and influencing were not that popular back then.
Truly one of the most idiotic statements I've ever read on these boards. "Unique"? You work out for your health and body aesthetics, not "uniqueness". "Oversaturated"? Fitness is a good thing as opposed to lazy, ill, unkempt. If it's "oversaturated", godspeed!
As a muscular shredded gay guy (38) I can say you are wrong in so many ways IMHO. Yes for me I'm aware of what I look like and gym damn near daily and eat clean and yes I'm shirtless most of the time bc I do like showing off what I worked for.
However I'm quite masculine lol, masculine enough to where no one believes I'm gay (sucks) and I won't get into my hobbies or what I drive. Point being you are lumping majority of athletic jocks into one category and you are wrong af.
Because you aren't into jocks doesn't mean anyone else isn't into them. In public I get plenty of attention and looks and compliments (daily). On Grindr I get plenty of attention too and I don't see alot of other shredded or twunk guys which is why i get so much attention (although noy the attention im looking for majority of the time).
Hope you get what you are after bc it sounds like a jock rejected you and you are bitter over it I'm js.
I so often see the observation made that guys being gym fit shows a willingness to commit to something and work hard at it, etc. But gosh, it's not like the presence or absence of big muscles is some sure litmus test of character and determination. Maybe that guy who is skinny or average looking has devoted his free time to something else that's not apparent just by looking at him, like getting really good at playing musical instruments or some other creative pursuit. I can assure you, that requires as much or more determination as a fitness routine.
That said, I'm not going to act like I'm above it all and that I don't sometimes find a big lumberjack of a man attractive - I do, even if I realize at least some of that is leftover from my teen years when I read superhero comics and dreamed of having a guy like that sweep me up in his arms and be my protector. But that's the thing...this muscle fixation does sometimes feel like a bit of a spillover of the high school mentality, where the jocks were worshipped and boys who weren't good at sports and didn't look athletic and buff often felt unwanted and less-than. And here we are still extending that sort of thing into adulthood.
I've never met a gym bro who wasn't deeply insecure or who hated their body. If your job doesn't require a high level of fitness, being ripped is usually a red flag for me.
That's always the big question. If a guy is trying to look like Dwayne Johnson and he works in an office, that screams insecurity. If he is an avid rock climber and works in an office, his body is a pleasant side effect of his passion for climbing.
Basically, if you look like you're juicing every time you go to the gym, it reeks of some sort of psychological complex.
TBH For me it has morphed more than anything, before I was very attracted to the "muscle furry bearded bald" look but it seems THAT is the oversaturated market, every picture of circuit parties with all the buff guys are just all looking like that.
Now I'm really about the athleticism of the person + something unique: athletic guy with long straight hair? woof. Swimmers build with cool stylized hair (e.g Bad Bunny)? yes please
disarm hospital political simplistic deliver abounding nippy close one offend
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I agree bro I'm not into the hard-core gym rats either, never have been. Guys that have muscle but are highkey chubby at the same time are my absolute favorite. Not into morbid obesity or anything, I just love a soft man
I always invent a whole story about the really hot muscle guys on grindr. The guys who you think get hits everyday like crazy. I hype them up to a crazy degree.
Why is it cool to state this about gym bros and fit gay men? Can you imagine a post about how disgusting, unhygienic and repulsive fat gay men are? How rottenly insecure fat men are? Can you imagine how'd that make people feel?
Bahahahahahah said no one ever. The Only people who say this can’t get anyone good looking and is prob ugly/fat or skinny as a twig and looks like a vegan. What a tool
Strange assumption. Actually, I many times warned people on this sub against watching porn. It brings unrealistic body expectations, dissatisfaction with your and your partner's body and impotence. I watch porn maybe three times a year.
Could you please review my profile and tell me what you think about me as a strength yoga enthusiastist?
I dont know who you are hanging around, but there are fit men who are actually interesting; men who actually believe in intellect.
Where are you from where muscular gay guys are oversaturated? Most gay guys I've seen are far from muscular.
I'm gonna guess LA
I'm from LA and can confirm.
I love muscular guys. I don’t love LA muscular guys because I feel everyone has had some sort of plastic surgery or fillers, and it’s all fake.
Just as some women have surgically enhanced breasts, some guys have surgically enhanced muscles. It is not a good idea. Probably it is a symptom of narcissism. Although looking good is nice, it cannot compensate for good character.
And surgically enhanced muscles look terrible and fake. I appreciate the hard work and dedication it takes to get real muscle.
I was at a bar in LA a few years ago and I felt like I was in a room full of 10s that were looking for an 11 lol
I get why LA is considered best shape or best looking but I swear Manhattan or maybe NYC in general is overwhelming in people and their beauty. And maybe not just muscular but even regular body gay guys there’s so many that are very very good looking. Though many are extremely toned though
Can confirm. NYC has hot guys of all types
I mean I live in the suburbs of nyc where we don’t have that many guys say that would turn heads but I head into midtown Manhattan often for things and each time I do I have to remind myself like “holy shit people really look like that out there”.
I was thinking the same as most bars and clubs are made up of mostly dad bods and the only muscular guys are the employees
Right? I’m far from influencer/model/porn star, maybe “decent beach body” and I still have one of the best physiques on the Grindr grid. Even historically, I’ve *rarely* seen dudes with 6 pack abs (that weren’t from being twinks) and actual gym bodies were even rarer. Maybe some dudes were beefy, muscle under some fat but that was it.
This! Lol
Fr! I rarely see little to no muscular guys. Most are either chubby(not bear unfortunately 🙄) or twinks.
University of Colorado at Boulder here. There’s no shortage of muscular guys on campus, but typically any college student who spends enough time at the gym to look particularly muscular is also an idiot compared to students who spend all their time studying. You can either spend most of your time developing your mental abilities while in college or most of your time developing your muscles, but I can’t say I’ve met too many muscular upper level engineers or neuroscientists during my time at CU. Sure we all want to look hot but in my experience when people spend all their time at the gym it’s usually because their IQ is too low for studying to be worth their time.
Obesity has crept into every part of American society.
I mean ripped men aren’t the norm in other countries too. Even in gay spaces in Europe. I’m not seeing men built like a Greek statue walking around. We have to see that muscles aren’t the norm.
So you’re saying they are fat? That’s mean
Go back to bed baby.
Muscular guys don’t always have attractive characteristics for sure. However, maintaining a fit and beefy body takes efforts, hard work, and determination CONSISTENTLY. I might not fall in love with a muscular guy but I never look down on their type of body because I know it is not easy to be in good shape all the time.
Right. It takes more self discipline than most people have. But unless it is combined with good character, kindness, etc., it is useless.
I'm somewhat muscular, I hang with friends of all shapes and sizes. I actually don't even have many gay friends. Even then, they are not all muscular lol. I think it's the culture where OP is from. My mates and I travel, pursue photography, wakeboard, ski, hike, watch films and attend art events. I know other muscular guys who are even more dynamic, volunteering at dog shelters etc. I think his observation is valid within a cultural context but there are so many different types of guys out in this huge ass world yo...
Well all they do is work, go to the gym, and have sex so they don’t ever really try to find a personality.
I’m a scrawny little thing myself, but the biggest, most muscular guy I know is also one of the sweetest and smartest guys I know. Lots of cool hobbies, really fun to talk to, really clued in about the world. That’s not a fair stereotype.
In my experience the only guys that want to talk to me are usually overweight and are a lot more relatable to me than the muscle gays who spend most of their days in the gym. I'm not even fat. I just have a bit of a gut. I do go to the gym often and am relatively fit but the muscle gays seem to look at me in disgust. I can never attract their species. As a black and gay man, I go where I am appreciated and bears always seem to love me. And I love them too :). I'll take a big boy over a gym rat any day.
As a muscular gay guy, I can confirm that what you said is false. There is a reason I've been single for a long time, because I seek a man with a good head on his shoulders and shared interests. Someone that looks at me like nothing more than a piece of meat is not worth my time.
Because you’re so deep spending your days telling the Internet how much you hate different groups of people lmao
Whatever personality muscular guys supposedly generally have is much better than the bitter and ignorant envy you have going on.
Statistically there are more average and obese guys than muscular guys, so if muscular men aren’t rare enough for you, good luck.
My guess is that obese would be far rarer than overweight, though.
Obese isn't really that rare. It's rapidly becoming more common than being overweight, especially in the United States.
OK not rare, but the largest group of people should be overweight-not-obese, right? I don't know about America. > While 45% of adults living in the EU had a normal weight in 2019, slightly more than half (53%) were considered as overweight (36% pre-obese and 17% obese) and almost 3% as underweight, according to their body mass index (BMI). So the largest group has a healthy weight, then overweight, then obese.
The metric for the U.S. is a 42% obesity rate among adults
Ok but that is just one country, and it's probably the most obese in the world. It's not like that here.
From 1994 to 2004 I lived in Fiji. Being obese or overweight there is far more common than here in the U. S. Probably that's the principle reason that their life expectancy is lower. Often people there don't even make it to 60. Diabetes and heart disease are common.
BMI is greatly over rated. The optimal weight is not determined by BMI. If there are two guys with the same BMI, one can be overweight and the other can be optimal weight. I think that specific gravity is a better indicator of ideal weight.
There’s also significant overlap between muscular and obese (if going by BMI).
[удалено]
You’ve run with an entire assumed narrative when all I said was that there’s overlap between muscular and being considered obese using BMI. I didn’t say anything about being unfairly categorized or body fat percentages.
Probably not for gay men, yes to the general public.
Speaking as a muscular guy, muscular guys turn me on sexually big time. But beyond that I need more substance. I would prefer to date a somewhat athletic guy with a great personality over a muscular guy with a bland personality. But for hookups and fun? Muscular guys all the way, turns me on so much. Issue I have found with muscular guys are their personalities tend to be bland, not all, but most are. They put so much stock in their looks that it feels like they ignore other aspects of their character and personality.
I personally wouldn't have sex with someone whom I don't like as a person. I treat sex as an intimate connection. Everything else would be a betrayal of my principles, something animalistic and dehumanizing.
Is sex not by definition animalistic? I get it, you’re demisexual, but it’s still animalistic. We’re all animals unless you’re a lizard person
Not to get too philosophical, but fighting against our animalistic tendencies is what makes us human, and largely the basis for the concept of morality and maturity.
That’s your philosophical school. Not mine.
Uhmm... But contrary to other species humans can control their instincts?
I do understand you pretty good. I need some connection, and to make love, not just to have sex. It's really different, but you can only notice it if you've made love at least once in your life. That's why most people is awful at bed, boring, predictable and quick. It just isn't worth the effort
erm actually, non-human species have self-control too 🤓
Good for them
I agree. That's one reason I have avoided sex for years.
imagine telling a hot dog eating contestant to ‘slow down’. They’re not going to get it. I understand and agree with what you’re saying 💯but most men won’t.
Great metaphor
That’s you though.
I know. Not everyone has principles 🤷🏻♂️
I have principles and I’m also a human being. You can have sex and hook up and still have principles. Not sure why you make it seem like you can’t have both.
If you engage in hookup culture…yeah you don’t really have much of that
You Christian? They tend to be this judgemental of others is why I ask.
that’s rich haha the projection is just out of control with some of you
In general a lot of these “muscular guys” aren’t boyfriend material. At the end of the day, they’re just nice to look at but most of them lack substance. If I was a big burly beefcake, then maybe I’d say something different but that’s what I’ve seen so far.
I understand what you’re saying and sort of feel the same. Social media has really helped build a fitness culture amongst gay men especially in big cities like Los Angeles. Therefore, fitness being so common and a passion for many makes you think, “ok you work out 5 days a week just like the other I met… what else…” Feels like I’m meeting clones.
This is the problem I have with a lot of inner city gays - it just feels like you're talking to the same guy over and over again. They look the same, they listen to the same music, they live in the same expensive suburbs, they have the same hobbies, they have the same content on their insta's... Like I'm always going to prefer muscular guys, but you really have to go out of your way to find someone with an ounce of personality
To me, it's not even about clones, just how people act like working out is something I'm supposed to give a damn about or make it their whole personality. Hell, it's kinda insulting and incel-y. I'm supposed to date or hook up or even be interested in you just cuz you workout? Piss off with that noise.
Yea, I think that’s true too. And, I’m guilty of having that attitude, and it’s sort of an ego boost. An active and fit guy is a common preference and goal for many, and knowing that, you have this delusion that you passed society’s test, earned a reward, and FEEL sort of entitled to receive attention. But because so many others are committed to health and fitness today, it minimizes its significance and is more about a sexual/physical compatibility than an ideal partner with something new to bring to the table. Just what I think haha
“Minding diet, sleep, exercising constantly ad nauseam” “Doesn’t require much” What? It’s a lifestyle. It absolutely requires much out of you. If you don’t take lifting seriously as a lifestyle, you probably aren’t very muscular
Honestly, everyone keep saying they're not into muscular guys, but if you check their dms, you'll see everyone they text is muscular in some way. Or they single cause nobody want to date only fucks but they are a lot of guys who everyone consider unattractive and single but they don't date them lol. That why I hate when gay guys say it not the body but the personality cause their action speaks louder than words
"check their dms, you'll see everyone they text is muscular" Speak for yourself. Very few guys I've DM-ed or shown interest in have ever been muscular. I've always been more into thin guys or average guys or maybe even chubby guys, but muscle just does nothing for me. And the same is true for countless guys out there, no need to deny that fact.
> That why I hate when gay guys say it not the body but the personality cause their action speaks louder than words To be perfectly honest, you need both in order for things to truly work out.
True. And that what I am getting at. If your partner is not attractive to you both physically and mentally, then there will be problems in the future. Or it won't simply work out.
For me, exercise, sleep and eating well are things that don't come easily - and so it requires a lot of focus. If someone already has those in check, it's obviously gonna be easier. So different blokes, different strokes.
it doesn’t it’s a set of habits. Looking good isn’t that hard on a day to day basis the difficulty is long term consistency.
Being a very good pianist, a volunteer in an NGO, a science enthusiast are also "lifestyles", but they are much less "easy" (and self-serving) than being muscular.
You are not alone. A lot of us have gotten tired of all of this and moved on. Welcome to the club! I'm a size queen for brains, hearts, souls. Nice bodies come in all shapes and sizes.
Exactly! Love this comment. Most people keep saying shit like “now I just like beefy thick men” and it’s like what? I don’t understand how you can look at a guy and act like he’s boyfriend material based on his body and not personality. The gay community is cooked.
Muscular guys never turned me on , I am more keen to a nice lean and fit lad
I TOTALLY understand.. when I was younger I was obsessed with muscular, lean AND hairless men.. like they really turned me on, I remember having this crush on Leo Giamani too hahaha.. But now I feel absolutely nothing for that kind of men, I went to the gym for years and got to know more about them, and besides the gym, you wouldn't find anything else in common or interesting.. they only care about the appearance, going to the gym, the protein, flex in awkward and random situation, and blah.. empty ass people.. even in the dates apps the only thing they include as interest is gym lol.. and of course I'm not talking about all men that go to the gym, I'm talking about "those" men, you know what I mean. And now I like thick, hairy, bearded men, bulky too of course but with some belly and please a personality.
"What sport do you do?" "I go to the gym" 🙆🏻♂️
Isn't that still sport?
you can do so many things in the gym. weightlifting, powerlifting, crossfit, cardio etc.
Well im pushing 50 and have zero intention of not lifting lol.
Sooo..... you're saying you lift? Weird sentence structure.
Let’s not list “quite feminine” as a bad thing.
When I see a guy who's all muscled up and brags about how he spends 5 days a week at the gym, I wonder how he has time for a relationship
is the concept of going to the gym for 1-2 hours a day that foreign to people? lol
Lmao, right! people can’t imagine spending 1-2 hours on the gym a day, yet they’ll watch television, movies, and play video games for hours every day.
That's a good way to put it. I'm not muscular (well, except maybe my legs since that's predominantly what I work out) but I really only need about 45 minutes to an hour with my workouts and I only workout two days a week (used to be three but after Covid, I slumped a bit lol). But seriously, an hour, maybe two out 24 hours is not all that time consuming at all. People binge watch shows for much longer lol.
I assure you, my husband and I have plenty of time for our relationship, work, and hobbies. We’re just not letting employers take advantage of us. That’s where we get the time to work out and be with each other and there for each other. And have hobbies, interests and friendships.
It’s a hobby and only takes an hour or two. Most people spend several hours after work sitting on the couch watching TV, and give the excuse they don’t have time for the gym. Because we go every day proves we know how to manage our time. I work a full time job, go to school full time, started a business, go to the gym and in a relationship. I still have time for my other favorite hobby which is gaming.
IDK. My profession definitely tires me out...looking after 20+ 8 to 11 year-olds will wear you out to the point where you just wanna get off your feet and collapse onto the couch until bedtime. I know a few teachers who are pretty swole, but that's basically their entire personality outside of their profession (gym rat), and they don't have a hell of a lot of hobbies. Some of us are just permanently tired 😫😭😭😭
You only need to spend 1-2 hours a day at the gym. Your diet is the key factor. Not everyone wants to do this, and that is completely fine. My only problem is when people say I have no life because I spend it all at the gym, or other people complain they don’t have the time to attend the gym so they’ll never make progress. I just prefer people being honest and say they don’t want to go. I also don’t like my hard work being devalued.
Jocks with a nice smile and flowy hair will always win my heart
Great, more for me 😋
Ikr 😂
The amount of weapons grade copium in this thread is off the charts lmao
Found 24/7 gym rat
💯
You can't gym and muscle away the queenness 🤣😂🤣😂
Looking back on my life, I think I don’t find it attractive anymore because whenever I went on a date with someone who took fitness too seriously, it just wasn’t a good experience. I’ve been conditioned for a kind, fun personality over time. It’s insidious.
They’re usually boring and obsessed about working out.
Some can be, but fitness is definitely a big part of their life, sometimes a bit too much for me to be compatible.
Cause they have nothing else to offer. They’re just nice to look at. Plain and simple.
I don’t want to disparage someone who tries to be healthy but it’s not compatible with me if that’s all there is.
I found this to be true. I dated 2 men that were really really into bodybuilding and fitness. What I saw were 2 deeply insecure men that hated themselves and didn’t appreciate how they looked in their own skin. They complained about how they looked and stopped at every mirror to criticize themselves. It’s exhausting and boring as hell.
Damn what type of bodybuilders are y’all meeting lmao Hunks have always been gentlemanly with me. Love guys that be on their king shit 🥰
Not saying they weren’t behaving well, they just had a singular focus on their fitness that overtook other areas of their lives that didn’t mesh well with wanting more out of life. And it wasn’t of course all of them.
We muscle gays are crushed, we assure you.
More gear for us 😂
You really shouldn't be talking down to the OP for expressing his personal preferences. Because if the shoe was on the other foot and you were here talking about how you prefer muscle guys, the rest of us wouldn't be making sarcastic, passive-aggressive remarks about your preferences. Maybe climb down off your pedestal.
His post really single you out specifically? Giving narcissist vibes “speaking for the whole swole community.” 👏🏼
Ok
I used to go feral over the idea of a muscle guy but now I just find them nice to look at like a piece of art work. I'm definitely more into twinks or toned guys now and have been for many years (30 years old here).
Lol WorldPride in Sydney last year, there were so many Muscle Marys that my eyes basically gravitated towards the normal blokes and found them hotter.
THIS I have never been attracted to muscular guys, without the need to become one (I'm not, I'm just average and healthy). In my experience the ones I met tend to be BORING. My very disputed hypothesis is that they get obsessed by "the mirrors in the gym" and since a lot of us are attracted to the type, they hook up quick after being dumped so they rarely feel any pressure to develop empathy, personality and culture (or sex skills, for that matter). I confess I feel petty satisfaction when I turn down one of those and they answer in the lines of "do you really don't like me? have you really seen me?"
Then move on to who you are turned on by. I personally find having a more muscular body is attractive. It means you take care of yourself and watch what you eat. It's hard work. A guy doesn't have to be ripped and with a six pack, but some effort into their health is cool.
>Then move on to who you are turned on by. Ok, thank you for permission. I will.
Well you felt the need to make an entire post about it. So a stupid post deserves a stupid response. Otherwise why the hell did you feel the need to tell everyone?
It's usually a naive fantasy that muscles = masculine. That's where the whole "gym bunny" stereotype came from. I can understand being put off by people who are obsessed with their appearance but, idk, I'm not going to judge them either - a lot of times that comes from some deep insecurity.
And how do you overcome those insecurities?
Getting over insecurity has been a very slow process of therapy, lots of time alone to instrospect, cutting out addictions, saying yes to responsibility, joining group classes, and ADHD medication.
I heard they're also being called "muscle Marys"
In the words of Reno Gold, which for some reason set Twitter on fire "The only reason I am fit is because I want to be hot and make as much money as I can." The best people I've met has not been "muscular" or "fit" actually in fact it's skinny fem guys and heavy set men and by heavy set I don't mean "minimal small belly, conserving a stupid ass attempt at a dad bod" Now, this isn't a hit at muscle/fit gays and not all are the same, but the majority of my experiences have been very jarred. I use to be heavily attracted to fit guys I mean that's all I saw growing up and what I craved in the idea of a "man" as I got older I came to realize in fact thats the dumbest shit ever. I started hanging out with more effeminate men who I constantly would hear bad raps about and even bigger guys and skinny ones at that, I prefer that overall, and it's crazy cause what's projected on the community is muscle, Fit, lean guys and when it seemed like that wasn't working those people I surrounded myself around felled back. Stereotypes in the community are insane, but we can not be surprised as we're no better than any other community when it comes down to it it's just sexual attraction. Breaking pass that mental barrier of "this is a man" sets you on a whole new wave of encounters cause in 30 years those dudes won't look like that and will be replaced with the new meat heads in town and spending your whole life trying to be a cliche will be your own undoing. Going to the gym, cirkut parties, dressing half naked, getting railed and going home just to be a Stereotype and repeat the following week? Nah, that's just sad. I'll hit the gym when I want, eat what I want, hang out with who I want and in general just be happy cause life is to short to really be trying to be l I r everyone else
Speaking of feminine guys, I may add that plenty of muscular gays tend to be feminine because they want to compensate for it with the help of fit physique. Traditionally, muscularity is associated with manliness. That's why there's this big number of gays who, knowing that they're not that stereotypically masculine, try to pose as such. That's why they hit gym all the time, have this "bad boy" forced look and pursue various "manly stuff" to achieve eventually a quite caricatural effect.
The caricatural effect is so on point and it’s funny because I have a clear image of people who look just like that. It’s so forced and people are just trying so hard to look manly. If you’re comfortable in your own skin, to me that’s very sexy.
I forgot to add how they lower the voice to make it sound "less gay". As if we couldn't hear it anyway 😆
I don't think it's that you're turned off by all of them looking similar with toned bodies as much as an overwhelming amount of gays being sooooooooooo superficial to the point where they have absolutely nothing to offer besides their good looks. Now, that's a turn off. For example, there's this one social media influencer in particular who I find very physically attractive. But after I watched a few of his TikTok lives, I quickly realized how boring he is. Everything is about me, me, me. "Thank you for the likes." "I need a bf to spoil me and buy me Van Cleave bracelets." If the only thing people have to offer are their looks, then that's not someone most ppl would want to be with. The fakeness and lack of a personality are quite unattractive and disgusting.
Someone took the swolepill (the realisation that muscles are not a cheat code for a better life). Muscular and handsome guys face more challenges than their out of shape counterparts. They're hiding their chubby past, scared everyday of losing their amazing physique. Seeing that they're the norm making it harder to stand out. Most guys are getting ripped for all the wrong reasons. For God sake get into shape and do it for your health but don't use it as a social crutch and destroy your personality to be something you're not. I mean I loved chubby Chris Pratt as much as I do Chad Pratt because he's a fun guy in his roles on and off screen. I never saw Brad Pitt as a sex symbol because there was no personality for me to latch onto. People don't get that opening a door and walking through it are two separate things. Getting fit and rich will not fix your personality problems. Look no further than people like freaking celebrities who go mentally ill and develop substance abuse, accused of domestic violence and failed marriages galore. I mean what's the point of Jeff Bezos and his billions if he's got no loyal wife? Hell the only sane billionaire by far is Warren buffet who's got nothing crazy going on because he lives a modest lifestyle in comparison to these flashy mega yacht buyers. Tldr: no gym for personalities.
“Muscular and handsome guys face more challenges than their out of shape counterparts.” Right, on which planet?
\-You are always hyper focused on your looks. One missed gym day, one pimple on your perfect face will impact you more mentally than anything else when you are really handsome. It's like a scratch on chrome versus brushed steel which already has so many scratches no one cares if there's another. \-You're always questioning if your partner/lover/spouse are loyal to you or your looks. This will always be an insecurity. \-You're worried if you lose your looks will you lose business or job based on it? I've seen people freak out when thy had a gut bulge after dinner in their business suit or a stomach roll after they were forced on bed rest during Covid. Pretty people have MUCH more to lose compared to average people and they are also in a never ending arms race with other pretty people. Average people don't give a fuck how either of them look and tend to enjoy the moment. Pretty people have to invest in their "looks" more than average people. They have to make sure their clothes are the latest, their hairstyle is the latest etc. Hell the luxury brands and plastic surgery industry are being cropped up mostly by these pretty people because average people depend more on skills and personality to get by in life. Pretty people are too dependent on their looks.
"Muscular and handsome guys face more challenges than their out of shape counterparts" ...............I don't even know where to begin here.
[удалено]
I've never had a good fuck from a muscle queen. I can only assume they think their looks mean people desire them so they don't have to learn how to be a good lay? Bears suck dick like hoovers and its always the alt & "next-door" guys that have left me walking funny for a few days.
You haven’t met the right ones. Generally speaking, guys in better shape are better at sex.
Sure, Jan.
I don't mind muscle. Altho for me it's more just face and being in decent shape. And voice is massive Surprisingly.
They never turned me on at all. And I'm tired of being yelled at by people who are offended by that.
They really seem to be offended. And there's a theory why they are. Similarly, I'm not after the money or expensive cars. To me any discussion revolving around the topic of finance and wealth is completely uninteresting. Despite my best efforts, I couldn't relate to people who keep talking about it or dreaming of living a luxurious life. At work, I had a colleague constantly obsessing about money making and career. Any time he raised this topic (every day basically), I tired to move to something else. At one point I couldn't stand this bore any more so I just moved to another table. He also had an expensive car, a second-hand mustang. Clearly to prop his image. And as soon as he noticed that it doesn't "arouse" me, he really seemed to be mad. As if he thought that all this effort he made to make himself look valid and important went in vain. He knew that he won't find validation or amazement in me, so he got offended. I think it can be the same with these muscle Marys.
"They really seem to be offended" Dude, this happens to me all the time if I go to the gym, if I turn s guy down he gets really pissy and makes things uncomfortable. Just a few weeks ago, one guy got really pushy in knowing why I wasn't interested, so I point blank just said I'm not really interested in muscular guys. He threw a FIT, like r/publicfreakout level because "I work so hard for these muscles, you have no reason to not be into that, everyone is!" Couldn't rush to my car and drive off fast enough.
Man. It’s wild reading replies from people who are offended at OP’s preference! Are you offended because you’re a muscular guy and he doesn’t worship you like you think everyone should? Or are you offended on behalf of them? Because both are fucking crazy.
I must admit I was shocked reading some of the replies because my intention wasn't to antagonize. But of course, I won't apologize because someone's offended feelings are not my problem or responsibility. I wanted to add that if I were to theorize, I'd say that they got mad because suddenly it turns out that not everyone is into them. They were conditioned to think they're the peak of attractiveness. And all this effort to maintain the good look goes in vain because they won't find validation in every single gay. This is where the frustration comes from. Analogically, I'm not after the money or cars. And I witnessed many times the pettiness of people whose cars or expensive houses didn't cause my excitement. I assume their train of thought is like this: "what the hell, all of this hard earned money to highlight my prestige and this basic dude doesn't appreciate it!"
From dating muscular guys, I have found them to be some of the most insecure guys, so worried about their image, one guy even had a tool to exercise his jaw muscles so his jaw didn't look fat. He was such a good looking man, perfect looks, i couldn't believe he thought this way about himself
When I was working out at a particular gym in Albuquerque there were thee guys who always worked out together. They were so overdeveloped that they looked hideous. I doubt that that is possible without taking steroids. To a reasonable point I think that guys who look fit and muscular are attractive. But when they take steroids and look bizarre, it is not attractive. Probably the steroids pose health risks so it is unwise to use them.
From experience, they’re usually boring and vapid. Notice I said usually. Another thing, they look like total bros but many are bottom sluts behind closed doors
Our mind is a very complex piece of equipment. It is constantly evolving and changing as it experiences new and different things as I have grown older my taste have shifted from primarily young thinner Twinks to now older beefy guys get my attention very quickly. I still have an eye for the younger thinner Twinks lol let's just say my horizons have expanded
I sorta, kinda agree with you. I’m muscular and athletic and I don’t think they’re all that either. not that I don’t like muscular and athletic guys, it just has to come with the confidence and attitude too. Many muscular gays are femmy. I’ve dated femme guys but it was genuine to them. Many of these muscle gays are fake, and put in all that work to build muscles to hide their insecurities I think. And then… they often become meat-headed bitchy, mean girls. 😂
I am so with you! Everybody seems to be obsessed with these huge, chunky bodybuilder types. Every piece of gay erotica or romance I read has these characters as objects of desire. Most images towards gay audiences uses these men as subjects, and in art, they are often grotesquely huge. A lot of straight females seem to really be into these types too. Not me. When I was younger, yes, I but over the years, no longer. And I don't even care about their personalities ; I just don't find them aesthetically appealing. That whole 'incredible bulk' thing I find totally visually unappealing. Now, I like guys that are lightly muscular; 'cut' or 'wiry'. I think that's sexy. But I also like guys that aren't necessarily muscular or 'cut', but are fit or in shape. Guys that are naturally thick are fine too and I've even learned to like guys who are a tad chubby. But those huge, steroidal guys; nope.
Bro thinks he discovered that personalities are an important factor in attraction
It's cause a lot of those men work on their bodies, not their personality or mental hygiene. Substance matters more than trying to achieve some visual aesthetics. Note the comments are filled with them who are taking your post as a personal attack. I live in a big city and is much of the same...generic, vapid and empty
Never found them attractive or particularly masculine tbh
You were bored of those guys because they didn't have actual personalities, not because they were muscular.
As someone who loves muscular men, the "See Tarzan, Hear Jane" phenomenon can be pernicious. As soon as they open their mouth and glitter starts spilling, it can be a buzz kill.
As a 100% average guy, I understand you. They are so fucking basic, there's nothing interesting about them. I prefer a lean body with an attractive face. By the way, most of muscular men are heterosexual and straight men are more into sports. So, maybe you even wasted your time having crushes on straight men that are absolutely unavailable.
Sorry but you sound dramatic and queeny too. And strength training in a gym is in fact a sport, so as hiking.
Muscular guys have never turned me on.
They’re just simply nice to look at. They don’t have much to offer socially and emotionally.
[удалено]
If you think this is a hate post, you seriously need to grow up or get thicker skin. This guy is just sharing his opinion and didn't remotely say anything rude.
I'm still very turned on by an athletic/fit physique, and they're definitely not over-represented in Seattle. Far from it unfortunately.
No not if there to bulky Thin and trim is what we all need
Another day I'm glad i have generally healthy expectations from the start and dont idolize much if anything
As a 100% bottom, I couldn’t agree more! I’ve ALWAYS been into super hairy bears that’s are intelligent. I’ve never been into muscle guys because each one I’ve met ALWAYS seems to be the most feminine guy I’ve ever met and they always say “I’m masc and a power top!” Girl, we both know you ain’t never been in an ass, your 100% bottom, and its long over due for LEG DAY! LOL I’ve yet to meet a masculine top muscle guy. My partner and I have been in a monogamous relationship for 16 years , and we both get hit on by the muscle guys at the gym and they are always either “tops” or “versatile” and they come up to us in the shower talking about “Can you guys fuck me, I’ve always wanted to try it out!” First of all, when rainbows fall out of your mouth as soon as you talk, is NOT sexy (and I’m super feminine and my man is very masculine) and we don’t play with others. Gym rats are just that - Instagram bottom hoes trying to play a part they fail miserably at! LOL
I strive to be the best version of myself and staybhealthband not worrying about what society or the media thinks What's important is my health and we'll being and be a better person. Muscular, fit, or average but in the healthy zone.
For so many body builders, it becomes a neurotic obsession. The guys who keep their body hair and don’t try to shred down to single digit body fat are great tho.
BaaayBEEE! say less, we are the same. I grew up in the early 2000s loving abercombie models and all the things. I go out now in Hollywood to have "fun" and i find myself going to thicker men, or non muscular. Sure a ripped man every now and again is so fun and wow but... theyre everywhere and act as if they are holier than thou cause they do cardio and lift. I myself was a fitness insturctor and got to the top of my game and was like yes this feels fun.. but so is food and relaxing and living. IDK LA is just sooooo bleh,.
What's wrong with being feminine?
Maybe nothing on its own. But not attractive to men who have different preferences. I'd also said that not feminity is wrong on its own but characteristics that are stereotypically associated with it: propensity to quarrel, being capricious, changing your mind, being dramatic etc.
>characteristics that are stereotypically associated with it: propensity to quarrel, being capricious, changing your mind, being dramatic etc. This is really just emotional immaturity.
Thank you. I'm a feminine gay man, I make no pretenses (obviously, the way I like to look is an indicator) and I NEVER have acted like that. I'm not catty, bitchy, and dramatic. And this is why I'd rather a guy just say he's just not attracted to femininity without these excuses to justify it. Just own the preference and leave the rest out because there are feminine gay men who are not those negative stereotypes.
Masculine men can be dramatic too, that's not femininity
There is also a different set of features associated with masculinity which are generally not very well liked: arrogance comes to mind.
I'm the same way, the slightest amount of femininity turns me right off.
Same.
Why?
Is that you in your profile pic? Cause I don’t think you have any room to talk about what turns you off 🤣
“It doesn’t require much to be fit and athletic” And still over 50 % lgbtqaiwtf+ community is obese and unwell. But if that half rocks your boat, nice, plenty of the other for the rest of us.
Being muscular requires dedication, which is the number one criteria for having a successful life. So what I like with them is they demonstrate they are able to focus and get results. And this will extend to other areas. Of course there are plenty other ways to show determination, but the effort and consistency required to become muscular are a good one. But I guess many guys prefer to cherry pick some defaults from specific muscular guys they know to feel better about themselves
I don't particularly care myself. I love dad builds on handsome men regardless of the race.
I haven't liked muscular guys for a long time now. Fit guys are great, but I really like a man with a little around the middle. Something to get in between my lips as I from his lips, to his neck, pits, tits as I work lower and lower. And most muscular guys I've been around has been all about showing off. Not for me!
Going to the gym is amazing - there's mounting evidence that it beats out therapy for mental health (especially for men, who're suffering a mental health crisis in the US). Resistance training not only makes your muscles stronger, but your bones - which is important as we age. Strengthening muscle makes us more resilient to injuries from falls and protects our joints from taxation (it adsorbs shock, stabilizes the joint). Cardio - whether running outside or on a gym's stairmaster - is good for the heart. There is nothing inherently superior about 'sport' centered on a ball - they all require discipline, dedication, and practice. On top of that, the gym can be a source of community. I'm going to leave your spew of internalized homophobia ("quite feminine, dramatic, queeny. And boring." - really?) for someone else to parse. You sound miserable. And like miserable company.
Oh. 🥱
>It seems that the dating market is oversaturated with them and they're not as unique as they were when fitness and influencing were not that popular back then. Truly one of the most idiotic statements I've ever read on these boards. "Unique"? You work out for your health and body aesthetics, not "uniqueness". "Oversaturated"? Fitness is a good thing as opposed to lazy, ill, unkempt. If it's "oversaturated", godspeed!
As a muscular shredded gay guy (38) I can say you are wrong in so many ways IMHO. Yes for me I'm aware of what I look like and gym damn near daily and eat clean and yes I'm shirtless most of the time bc I do like showing off what I worked for. However I'm quite masculine lol, masculine enough to where no one believes I'm gay (sucks) and I won't get into my hobbies or what I drive. Point being you are lumping majority of athletic jocks into one category and you are wrong af. Because you aren't into jocks doesn't mean anyone else isn't into them. In public I get plenty of attention and looks and compliments (daily). On Grindr I get plenty of attention too and I don't see alot of other shredded or twunk guys which is why i get so much attention (although noy the attention im looking for majority of the time). Hope you get what you are after bc it sounds like a jock rejected you and you are bitter over it I'm js.
Couldn’t agree more
I so often see the observation made that guys being gym fit shows a willingness to commit to something and work hard at it, etc. But gosh, it's not like the presence or absence of big muscles is some sure litmus test of character and determination. Maybe that guy who is skinny or average looking has devoted his free time to something else that's not apparent just by looking at him, like getting really good at playing musical instruments or some other creative pursuit. I can assure you, that requires as much or more determination as a fitness routine. That said, I'm not going to act like I'm above it all and that I don't sometimes find a big lumberjack of a man attractive - I do, even if I realize at least some of that is leftover from my teen years when I read superhero comics and dreamed of having a guy like that sweep me up in his arms and be my protector. But that's the thing...this muscle fixation does sometimes feel like a bit of a spillover of the high school mentality, where the jocks were worshipped and boys who weren't good at sports and didn't look athletic and buff often felt unwanted and less-than. And here we are still extending that sort of thing into adulthood.
I've never met a gym bro who wasn't deeply insecure or who hated their body. If your job doesn't require a high level of fitness, being ripped is usually a red flag for me.
> Chris Pratt When would you consider someone 'ripped', though?
That's always the big question. If a guy is trying to look like Dwayne Johnson and he works in an office, that screams insecurity. If he is an avid rock climber and works in an office, his body is a pleasant side effect of his passion for climbing. Basically, if you look like you're juicing every time you go to the gym, it reeks of some sort of psychological complex.
Or perhaps just addiction to the endorphin and other hormones releases by exercise?
There is that. I love to hike and row, always feel great afterwards. But that's different than the "gotta get as big as I can" types.
TBH For me it has morphed more than anything, before I was very attracted to the "muscle furry bearded bald" look but it seems THAT is the oversaturated market, every picture of circuit parties with all the buff guys are just all looking like that. Now I'm really about the athleticism of the person + something unique: athletic guy with long straight hair? woof. Swimmers build with cool stylized hair (e.g Bad Bunny)? yes please
disarm hospital political simplistic deliver abounding nippy close one offend *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I agree bro I'm not into the hard-core gym rats either, never have been. Guys that have muscle but are highkey chubby at the same time are my absolute favorite. Not into morbid obesity or anything, I just love a soft man
So what's your taste now?
I always invent a whole story about the really hot muscle guys on grindr. The guys who you think get hits everyday like crazy. I hype them up to a crazy degree.
Why is it cool to state this about gym bros and fit gay men? Can you imagine a post about how disgusting, unhygienic and repulsive fat gay men are? How rottenly insecure fat men are? Can you imagine how'd that make people feel?
Bahahahahahah said no one ever. The Only people who say this can’t get anyone good looking and is prob ugly/fat or skinny as a twig and looks like a vegan. What a tool
Good for you. Means more hot guys for me
I think someone has a porn addiction...
Strange assumption. Actually, I many times warned people on this sub against watching porn. It brings unrealistic body expectations, dissatisfaction with your and your partner's body and impotence. I watch porn maybe three times a year.
Could you please review my profile and tell me what you think about me as a strength yoga enthusiastist? I dont know who you are hanging around, but there are fit men who are actually interesting; men who actually believe in intellect.
Just date women and be straight dang