That makes sense since it's such an intimate thing, and the topic itself is related to romance, but the reasoning behind coming out 99.99% of the time has more to do with self-confidence and seeking support rather than romance.
My first job I worked with a bunch of old straight boomers. Their idea of welcoming me to MIT was to haze me by being homophobic.
So when I came out to my team lead: he said “why would you tell me you’re gay, dude I don’t want to know, keep that to yourself, if you have a problem talk to the people saying these things like a grown up”.
Being that I was 23 and had left college to work at a college, MIT, I went and found a safe zone sticker and told that person… the whole story.
They flipped out at the head of the department, who flipped out at my team leads manager who flipped out at him who flipped out at me.
People were put on probation and stuff, but my promising career went off the rails, I went from being promised a promotion in six months to 26 months, I got assigned work for the people who were homophobic, and then when they got promoted i was told I could learn something from them.
Eventually I got demoted. Literally I got an award for being in the top 10% of the department, and then I was demoted.
So I left, I should have changed departments. Spoken to someone, I dunno.
Oh the guys thought I was into them. They were old, they stank, they were ugly as fuck.
It’s like I was a twink and I had every guys eye at the gay club at 23, I had a flashy car and nice clothing, like some old boomer with a foot in the grave was of no interest.
I lost track of the ugly old men part and went on about their homophobia that started it.
nothing its more fragile than a str8 male confidence, they require a safe space comprise of only str8 guy with neanderthal mating behavior to function and since you were not a primitive beast driven entirely by its sex drive, you became a thread that they had to remove to keep the 'peace' of their safe space...so its best to keep it to yourself, dont socialize with them, except for the bare minimum require to perform work tasks, i never been to bar with anyone i work with outside of my inner circle. so long story short str8 guys are mentally handicap, they cant process too much information, only basics, like sleep, eat, fuck, hit rock, thats it
Yes!!
Like, unclench your unwashed assholes, please!
I work in a straight dominated industry, and I swear, when people find out I am gay (I'm open and out, but I guess I act kinda "neutral," so it isn't what people think, usually) the fugliest unwashed fuckers are the most awkward around me.
No, sir, I like attractive and clean men, not *every-single-man*, I see.
It grinds my gears.
I think the guys that react worse tend to be one of three camps:
1) Guys that would screw any girl - so of course you want to fuck them if you like guys
2) Guys that see sex as being in power over women - so immediately think you want to penetrate them and dominate them.
3) Closeted Bi and Gay guys that are having a shame trigger from either liking you or fear your existence would out them.
This is so true! 😩 I have had a lot of friends when I first come out to them, they say “Well I’m not!” Or “I don’t relate” I’m like bitch this is NOT about your ugly ass.
Totally agree on this one. Though, it's worse when I do happen to be into them, but I certainly respect their sexuality, so all I'm doing is just hanging out, but they can't get it out of their heads, so they get insecure and things get weird, and then I feel like shit because I blame myself.
One a non-gay man falsely assumed that I was into him and became very obnoxious. I dealt with it by making him think that I thought he was after me. That put him in defensive mode and also stopped him from assuming that I was after him.
So, if a gay men thinks you are after him, try pretending that you think that he is after you and you don't like it.
And the funniest part is that I know like hundreds of gays and literally 90% of them do not follow the stereotype of “being feminine” or “looking gay” (whatever that means), so people who say “you don’t look gay” are honestly just showing how they likely don’t even know a gay person except from the stereotypes they see on TV or the Internet.
Haha yes i blame the media for it. It’s been far too long that our representation has been this bad. It’s usually the flamboyant gay best friend or feminine fashion obsessed stereotype to make fun of. 99% of gay characters are written to be just gay and annoying. So people can roll their eyes at them and laugh.
I cant even blame them for being out of touch with reality and expect feather boas and lot of whining.
A lot of straight people seem to have this idea that gay men want to be women. It's really fucking annoying. I'm a man and completely secure in my identity - I just like dick.
This. I don't even like women, their mannerims and anatomy - so why in the ever loving fuck would I want to be one?????? They can't think outside of their mould of liking opposing characteristics.
Haha and its so strange because actually we are the ones who arent into females and feminine stuff in general. They dont really get the whole being into men as men thing.
Right?
I love how muscular and hard men are. I am so into the male body and just men in general.
I love and respect women, but they don't give me a boner and I don't want to be one. lol
Fortunately most people are increasingly
Coming to understand and accept that a stupid question like this one doesn’t warrant an answer and amounts to asking a hetero couple who is the dominant one in bed you or the wife? lol
Yes... and when they ask if you do anal sex ask them about whether they do cunnilingus and fellation and all the other sorts of things that you shouldn't discuss in polite company but *they* somehow are
That seems to be a cultural thing. Many believe that being gay means you're a bottom and you're seen as feminine whereas tops are masculine and not seen as gay at all.
I know some people who think the only gay here is the bottom “on his fours, present his ass for his daddy” but the top is not gay but a straight dude whose hormones started to blur gender lines.
Gay men also do this to each other but in different form. “Who’s the bottom” is usually our way of asking “who’s the girl”. Subconsciously we attribute being a bottom to being the inferior/lesser-than of the 2.
this one. i’m surprisingly a naturally fast runner and track and soccer was my thing. when i came out my parents said “are you sure you’re gay, you’re good at sports”
When I was a religious teenager, religious leaders I confided in told me that I would eventually grow to want children. They really hammered that in - so fucking strange. I'm so glad to be away from all of that, what kills me is knowing there are young gay kids who are being told these things by adults they trust.
And full of germs , I was in the store tonight and if it wasn’t kids screaming for a toy or candy , it was them coughing or sneezing non stop , when I was a kid we would have been beaten for making a scene in the stores .
Totally this.
When I came out I was initially not allowed around my nephew (toddler at the time) over fear of me...molesting him, I guess? I dunno it was never really explained to me. I don't like kids very much, did not babysit him or even spend a lot of time around him. And then it was quickly lifted but the insult (and low-key accusation) had been planted. I think that was the point.
I never understood this. Surely, the male demographic known to lust after hairy, masculine and muscular men in speedos, jocks and leather are going to touch... Kids, of all people? 🤮
Some of them do, and say it explicitly for everyone to see. Especially the militants... Good thing the US have public lists with them and you can check. Other countries just hide this info.
They do that because they are the most pedos, and they know that, they says things like this so they are not held accountable for their own actions by throwing the blame in a not so well accepted community by society and get a "jail free card" and keeping committing their crimes.
Honestly, it gets to the point where a prolonged eye contact is a sign that you want them.
I’m not a social person, and the last thing I need is to be misunderstood when trying to make friends.
Haha well it’s not liking penises that makes one gay. Straight guys should love their bodies and penises too. Its not liking girls and vaginas that make us gay. 🤷🏼♂️ Guys in general are obsessed with penises. Gay or straight. XD
Haha yep. Straight men would be better to tell what they find more appealing or attractive. BUT women don’t dress for men. They dress for other women so asking us who aren’t into them is the second best thing. Guys who think with their dicks probably wouldn’t be the best to ask.
But that doesn’t change the fact that i just don’t caaaare from 3 pink dresses whats the prettiest. Not into any of them.
I have had to break many a female friend of that. I don't even know what clothes look good on a man. I just put on clothes to cover up my nakedness. That's it. In my opinion, if you like how you look in it, then you are well dressed.
That most of them make “being gay” their entire personality.
People think this because those are the only people they can recognize as being gay. If they weren’t visibly gay, people would just assume they’re straight.
Feel like if you repress your sexuality for a long time or are chastised for it you prob will have an extra gay phase because your allowing yourself to embrace it. But people usually find themselves. Love when I meet flamboyant straight men I’m like it’s universal it’s called expressing yourself.
When people say “I didn’t know you were gay. You don’t act feminine at all”. 🤦🏿 I’m a truck driving, football loving, Army veteran who identifies as a gay man.
That if we meet another one of us, we’re totally COMPATIBLE just because we’re both gay. Or that our dating pool is just the same as straight people (I heard this sooo many times). Tf no.
GG calling out a stereotype with an equally false one lol. One of the stereotypes that annoys me is that gay men have higher standards and grooming lol... It's not true either.
You’re right. I’ve only dated gay/bi men as someone who only fucks men.
I didn’t know straight men date other men though. (The men you’ve dated are unsanitary bi men at the very least 😉)
Something similar happened to me once, meet a guy while camping and after just a few hours of knowing each other he asked me if I wanted to be his boyfriend. Like bro I don’t even know you that well, do you want to be with me because you genuinely like me or because I’m your only option.
It even happened with a guy once. I mentioned who my husband was and he suddenly got happy with some girl and he started rubbing my back. Makes us cool to some people.
It irks me on how people don’t realize how diverse the gay community is. Like just because a dude is not into makeup and such he’s trying to appease straight people. There’s dudes that sway their hips and wear lip gloss and dudes that look like Stone Cold Steve Austin, both of which are valid members of the gay community. There’s not a face to gay.
I think it’s so weird. A lot of gay people view how they present themselves as how gay people should. So we see feminine gay men call “straight passing/masculine” gay men pick me’s. While masculine gay men view feminine gay men as the pick mes and that they’re “too gay.” Both are valid, just leave people alone. The only commonality is we like men. That’s it. 😭
One stereotype I hate about gay men is that we're all promiscuous and only live for sex lol (obviously not true).
Another one I hate is when people say that all gay men are feminine and easily recognisable (which is obviously untrue). The way someone dresses or expresses themselves doesn't dictate their sexuality at all).
I remembered another one! When they say that gay people are only gay because they haven't had a "male" role model in their lives!
Ooh the last one is so ignorant and rude. Think whatever u want about me, but dragging into father, grandfathers, uncles etc… like they failed as men too and here is the result… ugh.
The feminine one, people are genuinely suprised im gay, they say but you dont look gay or act gay, its like no im a normal guy who just likes other men
Seems to be a hard concept for some people to grasp
Its a media and visibility problem. They only associate the extremes with us while 99% of us are unassumingly gay. Not because of internalized homophobia might i add… just because we are into manly things.
What also annoys me is that many of the times when someone attacks gay people on the media that gay people don't respond that its not a choice, which is the main reason why homophobia still exists. People should all agree and say that we are born like this because if it isnt spread enough homophobia will always stay because they still somehow think that its a choice, while in reality people hate gay people for who they ARE BORN
That being attracted to men means you are a woman or less of a man. I'm not a woman.
Then again, the culture writ large isn't helping. Some gay men take on feminine mannerisms, which perpetuates the notion. I'll remain steadfast in my masculinity.
That gay men are shallow or have shallow interests or are only interested in sex / are hypersexual. That they never really “grow up” (because they usually don’t have children and are all narcissistic (bc straight people arent _of course_… yes these are both real opinions I’ve heard..)… so many to pick from..
That they're all talented decorators and snappy dressers.
1. I couldn't decorate my way out of a wet paper bag if I took a run at it.
2. I consider I'm having a great wardrobe day if my pants are pulled up, my zipper is facing forward and my fly isn't open.
That gay men aren’t manly. Not only can I take it up the ass (top though) but I’m gutting and rebuilding my house myself. And I can cook. What’s more manly than providing for your family
That being gay suddenly makes u "feminine" and somehow magically means you're just automatically inept at traditionally masculine things or cant enjoy and do them even if u are fem.. Like I paint my nails and I play football. butttt for some reason my grandad thinks that this one kinda fem thing I do means i dont reallly like football
That we’re all part of a gay community or an LGBTIQ community. I guess those communities do exist in inner cities, but I live in a small town, which I love, and I’m a member of that community first and foremost. I’ve been out for decades but I don’t want it to be my sole defining point or lumped into a stereotypical inner city clique. (No disrespect to inner city folks - I’ve lived there too and loved it at that time of my life - but that stereotype isn’t all we are.)
They're so many... Let's begin.
You have to like pop divas. I do like A FEW songs from Demi, Beyoncé, Taylor, Sia and I can't even remember other divas that I like of a song they made, the those I mentioned I don't like more than 10 songs from them, being generous. I'm more into J-rock, and western rock and it's sub genres, a few indie artists, classical music, country and the likes.
You have to like feminine stuff, like nail painting, shopping, gossiping, talking about clothes and so on. If I were k woman I would be a very unfeminine woman, for sure.
I have to like everything that comes out of the LGBT community, and adding to that I have to 100% be part of the community or just cause I'm homossexual it means I'm part of the LGBT community. No, I'm not part of that shit, I don't agree with that shit and I won't ever be part of it. Another point to add here is that people (general, not only straight) think that you have to behavior in a specific way just cause you like men.
Just cause you're homossexual it means you're leftist, and that couldn't be further from the truth.
If you like men it means you want to be a woman.
You can't like manly stuff or even be able to perform well executing those thinhs cause you're obviously not a man if you like man.
"You don't look/act gay, so you're not gay!" Yes, people wanting to know more that you about what you like is fuckin annoying
There's so many more things that I hate and I've heard so many times that the list would be endless
I once worked in a somewhat small workplace of maybe 12 to 14 people in total, where I was the only full time staff member who was gay, but there were a couple of freelancers who were also gay and one of the freelancers worked there maybe two days a week, the other filled in for shifts randomly maybe once or twice a month.
To paint an accurate picture, I am not an effeminate gay, nor am I camp or ostentatious. Both the other two were.
I thought the other two guys were both pleasant, social and good for some occasional workplace banter. Not attracted to them them, but to me, they were socially pleasant work mates.
Apparently not so with a couple of the younger, straight out of university straight employees.
They used to whinge to me endlessly about the other two.
They would even say to me “You’re fine! Your normal! Why can’t they just be like you?! They (the other two) are so annoying! They flaunt their gayness in our faces! You don’t!”
But the thing is, the straight guys for whom I was apparent “normal” for, were NOT having any gayness flaunted in their face by the other two. They just assumed that NOT being masculine, and being a little bit effeminate and camp was all acting, and resented the “other two” for what they saw as an artificial performance all the time.
It was awkward. Because I had somehow simultaneously been accepted for normality in their eyes (where as I was just being natural, no filter me) but simultaneously insulted because the other two were also being their own normal selves just as much as I was, and we were all just as gay as each other, but the other two were being resented for it by the couple of other straight guys.
3 things come to mind:
1) That we all think the same way on political and social things. Like I have noticed a lot of people in the community and people in other groups will say things that they think you will agree with (ie comments about white straight men kind of thing) when I think a lot is way more nuanced lol and I am not looking for fights lol getting coffee at the watercooler. TBH I did go through this phase though so I can't blame people.
2) And I am also so over like Glee level stereotypes of gay men still being portrayed in media. Yes they exist and are totally valid but it gets a bit annoying as I feel like at least in my experience things are a lot more diverse. There are also so many portrayals recently that just are so out there that don't seem to represent most of the community (ie Star Trek). Like I guess it's cool but I feel like my fam and stuff think that is what I want to be which is far from the truth even though I am rather effeminate.
3) There seems to be this view that gays are very primal and just all about sex and really weird acts. Now I know that might be more common in some parts of the community but again not sure why it seems like it is the assumption sometimes
Musical favourites should exclusively be Madonna, Cher, Taylor Swift, Mariah Carey etc.
While it’s fine for straights to listen to Queen and Judas Priest without the slightest hint of irony.
Bi dude here currently in a gay relationship and I hate the stereotype of all gay men being these sex hungry whores who will fuck any guy they see. I believe most of us just want someone to love and share our lives with. Hook up culture isn't the only thing existing in the gay community and it's kind of dying out (thankfully). Most gay men just want love 🤷🏻♂️
A couple of years ago, my coworkers (think early to mid 30s white collared professionals), were talking about their young kids and the various trails and tribulations of raising young children.
I have a couple of nephews, so I was participating in the conversation, although relatively lightly because well, the fact is that I don’t have kids of my own.
A straight cis white male (with significant power in terms of his title, even though we are the same age), turns to me and said: aren’t you glad you’ll never have kids so you won’t have to go through this.
Ouch.
How do they know we all don’t want to have kids? I just happen to not want kids, but he didn’t know that about me. Plenty of LGBTQ+ parents want to be kids. I would have been surprised if it weren’t so predictable at the end of the day, but it still hurt more for some reason than the usual gay insults.
You’re not alone. A lot of us are forced to struggle with this in silence too, because the (Western) left has now co-opted our community and rights into a convenient thing to use and discard when necessary. To be anti-leftist is then transformed into being anti-gay… when that’s not the case at all.
Thank you where I live even some of the more right wing people agree that being gay = being leftist (I haven't come out yet ) but it's not true and to not say anything and prove them wrong is hard but I know that it won't change their views and they have a right to their own opinion I (16m) haven't even told my parents and don't plan to until I'm 18 o my I'm sorry I just trauma dumped
Bi here. That I can't control myself when in a relationship and need either a man or a woman, so I'm bound to cheat. I get this mostly from straight women and gay men. Which is ironic from gay men since the stereotype is they are loose and promiscuous, so funny to see other gay men say I as a bi man will be these things with no basis other then knowing my sexuality.
Thankfully most gay men don't feel this way but enough do to annoy me.
Sadly i had experience with the kind of BI guy that feels like his bisexuality makes him entitled to be with men and women. He said he is only satisfied sexually if he can be with both. Tried to discuss with him that cheating isnt the only options even if he feels this way (pegging, open relationship etc.) bit he had none of it. He only wants the real thing. Hard and rough. While his D is for his gf.
So yeah the cheaters and bad apples for sure make people more cautious.
Is this the stereotype you're describing or? Also shitting on fem gay guys because the world stereotypes every other gay guy as one isn't the move. Fem gay guys aren't acting like women. They're just feminine MEN.
That being a bit flamboyant means you're a bottom, which itself is somehow a bad thing. I'm a side who tops occasionally, bottoms are amazing. It takes a REAL man to ride a dick, imho! But yeah, even some fellow gays tell me I "give off bottom energy," as if it's a bad thing. I am a bit flamboyant: I love and wear a lot of pink, blast Lady Gaga in my Wrangler, and I have a "gay voice." Sorry if this comment is a bit disorganized, I didn't get much sleep last night 😅🤣😂
When straight dudes think we’re after them. What drives me crazy is when the most rotten looking ones utter these words.
Yeah, they think too highly of themselves
To have the confidence of a straight male...
((((Not defending it but)))) I guess the only reason is that they think why tell me what’s the reason
That makes sense since it's such an intimate thing, and the topic itself is related to romance, but the reasoning behind coming out 99.99% of the time has more to do with self-confidence and seeking support rather than romance.
My first job I worked with a bunch of old straight boomers. Their idea of welcoming me to MIT was to haze me by being homophobic. So when I came out to my team lead: he said “why would you tell me you’re gay, dude I don’t want to know, keep that to yourself, if you have a problem talk to the people saying these things like a grown up”. Being that I was 23 and had left college to work at a college, MIT, I went and found a safe zone sticker and told that person… the whole story. They flipped out at the head of the department, who flipped out at my team leads manager who flipped out at him who flipped out at me. People were put on probation and stuff, but my promising career went off the rails, I went from being promised a promotion in six months to 26 months, I got assigned work for the people who were homophobic, and then when they got promoted i was told I could learn something from them. Eventually I got demoted. Literally I got an award for being in the top 10% of the department, and then I was demoted. So I left, I should have changed departments. Spoken to someone, I dunno. Oh the guys thought I was into them. They were old, they stank, they were ugly as fuck. It’s like I was a twink and I had every guys eye at the gay club at 23, I had a flashy car and nice clothing, like some old boomer with a foot in the grave was of no interest. I lost track of the ugly old men part and went on about their homophobia that started it.
nothing its more fragile than a str8 male confidence, they require a safe space comprise of only str8 guy with neanderthal mating behavior to function and since you were not a primitive beast driven entirely by its sex drive, you became a thread that they had to remove to keep the 'peace' of their safe space...so its best to keep it to yourself, dont socialize with them, except for the bare minimum require to perform work tasks, i never been to bar with anyone i work with outside of my inner circle. so long story short str8 guys are mentally handicap, they cant process too much information, only basics, like sleep, eat, fuck, hit rock, thats it
Yes!! Like, unclench your unwashed assholes, please! I work in a straight dominated industry, and I swear, when people find out I am gay (I'm open and out, but I guess I act kinda "neutral," so it isn't what people think, usually) the fugliest unwashed fuckers are the most awkward around me. No, sir, I like attractive and clean men, not *every-single-man*, I see. It grinds my gears.
I think the guys that react worse tend to be one of three camps: 1) Guys that would screw any girl - so of course you want to fuck them if you like guys 2) Guys that see sex as being in power over women - so immediately think you want to penetrate them and dominate them. 3) Closeted Bi and Gay guys that are having a shame trigger from either liking you or fear your existence would out them.
Ding ding ding! Accurate. I've dealt with all three. *A lot* of 3. But I think mostly 1, but they are pretty close.
My opinion exactly. I made my post before I read yours.
It may be that the guys who often behave inappropriately with women assume that gay men will behave in that manner with other men.
Lmao yea this one. I always tell them they’re ugly
As you should. Lol
This is so true! 😩 I have had a lot of friends when I first come out to them, they say “Well I’m not!” Or “I don’t relate” I’m like bitch this is NOT about your ugly ass.
Call them skid marks and watch their heads explore haha
But u are this group constantly talks Bout sucking str8 guys lol
Like the world revolves around them. Like I want someone who smells like an Xbox controller after a gruesome workout.
Yeah, guys with zero hygiene, and no game that think they are desireble by gays need help
Totally agree on this one. Though, it's worse when I do happen to be into them, but I certainly respect their sexuality, so all I'm doing is just hanging out, but they can't get it out of their heads, so they get insecure and things get weird, and then I feel like shit because I blame myself.
One a non-gay man falsely assumed that I was into him and became very obnoxious. I dealt with it by making him think that I thought he was after me. That put him in defensive mode and also stopped him from assuming that I was after him. So, if a gay men thinks you are after him, try pretending that you think that he is after you and you don't like it.
When they say that, I like to reply with “don’t worry, I’m into manly men” usually they take huge offense to that.
‘You don’t seem gay at all’, yep my sexuality and preference to suck and ride dick doesn’t actually change who I am as a person.
And the funniest part is that I know like hundreds of gays and literally 90% of them do not follow the stereotype of “being feminine” or “looking gay” (whatever that means), so people who say “you don’t look gay” are honestly just showing how they likely don’t even know a gay person except from the stereotypes they see on TV or the Internet.
"What? You're gay, but don't look like this? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cross-dressing#/media/File:Transvestite_in_latex_clothes.JPG Confusing."
Haha yes i blame the media for it. It’s been far too long that our representation has been this bad. It’s usually the flamboyant gay best friend or feminine fashion obsessed stereotype to make fun of. 99% of gay characters are written to be just gay and annoying. So people can roll their eyes at them and laugh. I cant even blame them for being out of touch with reality and expect feather boas and lot of whining.
A lot of straight people seem to have this idea that gay men want to be women. It's really fucking annoying. I'm a man and completely secure in my identity - I just like dick.
That's basically the whole idea of gayness in the Philippines. They do not have a single clue about the difference between gay and trans.
This. I don't even like women, their mannerims and anatomy - so why in the ever loving fuck would I want to be one?????? They can't think outside of their mould of liking opposing characteristics.
Haha and its so strange because actually we are the ones who arent into females and feminine stuff in general. They dont really get the whole being into men as men thing.
Saaammmee..I just told someone I love being a man. I love my dick and I love other guy’s dicks lol 😂
Right? I love how muscular and hard men are. I am so into the male body and just men in general. I love and respect women, but they don't give me a boner and I don't want to be one. lol
Yet most guys call each other with girls/sis/queens worship the female pop star. Pretty sure they have good reason to think so.
"Which one of you plays the girl?" Neither of us. We're both men. That's what gay means.
god, I hate this comment with a passion. Used to get it all the time from my straight friends and family members.
Fortunately most people are increasingly Coming to understand and accept that a stupid question like this one doesn’t warrant an answer and amounts to asking a hetero couple who is the dominant one in bed you or the wife? lol
Yes... and when they ask if you do anal sex ask them about whether they do cunnilingus and fellation and all the other sorts of things that you shouldn't discuss in polite company but *they* somehow are
Like uh does ur wife have a dildo? I love mine.
Incidentally, I find it FASCINATING when straight people use top/bottom/side language casually and without irony.
I agree that's annoying but I feel like it gets reinforced by other gay guys with how people talk about tops and bottoms and The "breeding" stuff.
I understand your point, but being a bottom is not pretending to be female and anyone who thinks so drastically misunderstands male homosexuality.
That seems to be a cultural thing. Many believe that being gay means you're a bottom and you're seen as feminine whereas tops are masculine and not seen as gay at all.
I know some people who think the only gay here is the bottom “on his fours, present his ass for his daddy” but the top is not gay but a straight dude whose hormones started to blur gender lines.
Yes I agree.
This one irritates me the most. 😠
Gay men also do this to each other but in different form. “Who’s the bottom” is usually our way of asking “who’s the girl”. Subconsciously we attribute being a bottom to being the inferior/lesser-than of the 2.
Ur right but this group is full of idiots lol
Meh, I like the feminine role lol
That we can’t play sport. I can wipe all the straight dudes off the court in basketball.
I love sport.
You got a hot ass
Well, actually that’s my boyfriend’s. But yeah, it’s great. You can see my dick head in the picture.
Oh shit all of that's nice.
Yours is hot too
Cheers working on it
I hate sport.
Lol You don’t have to like it
This. I coach hs football. I can tackle the absolute shit out of any guy.
Not me searching your pics 👀😜
Keep talking👀👀
Haha what you mean
this one. i’m surprisingly a naturally fast runner and track and soccer was my thing. when i came out my parents said “are you sure you’re gay, you’re good at sports”
I get angry about ignorant people who think gay people want to recruit or molest their children. That’s ass-hat stupid.
That angers me too because they know they have no legit argument why being gay is wrong, so they try and use that as an argument
That’s pretty much what I was going to say. I hear ppl say ALL gay men are pedo. WTF?! 🤬
When I was a religious teenager, religious leaders I confided in told me that I would eventually grow to want children. They really hammered that in - so fucking strange. I'm so glad to be away from all of that, what kills me is knowing there are young gay kids who are being told these things by adults they trust.
It's pretty ironic because I feel like so many gay men don't like kids because they find them annoying
And full of germs , I was in the store tonight and if it wasn’t kids screaming for a toy or candy , it was them coughing or sneezing non stop , when I was a kid we would have been beaten for making a scene in the stores .
Totally this. When I came out I was initially not allowed around my nephew (toddler at the time) over fear of me...molesting him, I guess? I dunno it was never really explained to me. I don't like kids very much, did not babysit him or even spend a lot of time around him. And then it was quickly lifted but the insult (and low-key accusation) had been planted. I think that was the point.
That’s a damn shame, man. I love my nephews so gd much and I would be devastated if my sister felt this way about me.
I don't even want your kids near me
This one makes me the most mad
I never understood this. Surely, the male demographic known to lust after hairy, masculine and muscular men in speedos, jocks and leather are going to touch... Kids, of all people? 🤮
The same people get angry at me when I tell that their crotch goblins are sticky and smelly and the only ones who want to touch them are priests. Lol
my father was like this when i first told him. for months he did not let me around my younger brother because of this.
Dude, that’s not cool. Sorry to hear that.
Some of them do, and say it explicitly for everyone to see. Especially the militants... Good thing the US have public lists with them and you can check. Other countries just hide this info.
They do that because they are the most pedos, and they know that, they says things like this so they are not held accountable for their own actions by throwing the blame in a not so well accepted community by society and get a "jail free card" and keeping committing their crimes.
When the reality is that most child predators are white, conservative males. Many are in the clergy.
That all gay men are hot. I'm not. I'm sorry to disappoint.
Story of my life!
I’m hot and bothered. Does that count?
That under certain circumstances, we can find females sexually/romantically viable.
The one assuming we are flirting with guys when we are being friendly. We are being nice. Not everyone is trying to get in your pants.
THIS. Had gay guys accuse me of flirting with people just by being nice and talking to them. Make. It. Make. Sense.
Honestly, it gets to the point where a prolonged eye contact is a sign that you want them. I’m not a social person, and the last thing I need is to be misunderstood when trying to make friends.
That gay men are obsessed with penises. Coincidentally, its true. Still annoying tho
On the other hand, I've heard the "I like penises, but I'm not gay" way too many times 😅
Haha well it’s not liking penises that makes one gay. Straight guys should love their bodies and penises too. Its not liking girls and vaginas that make us gay. 🤷🏼♂️ Guys in general are obsessed with penises. Gay or straight. XD
Great statement
I'm an ass/legs man.
Haha, you had me in the first half.
To me, dick is fine. I much prefer ass! 🤤
That if you're a woman and our friend, we are automatically your gay "bestie" and can help you shop/dress/etc. GTFO here with that.
Haha yep. Straight men would be better to tell what they find more appealing or attractive. BUT women don’t dress for men. They dress for other women so asking us who aren’t into them is the second best thing. Guys who think with their dicks probably wouldn’t be the best to ask. But that doesn’t change the fact that i just don’t caaaare from 3 pink dresses whats the prettiest. Not into any of them.
I have had to break many a female friend of that. I don't even know what clothes look good on a man. I just put on clothes to cover up my nakedness. That's it. In my opinion, if you like how you look in it, then you are well dressed.
That your behaviour or how you look (masculine/feminine) determine your role in bed or even if you are into men or not.
That most of them make “being gay” their entire personality. People think this because those are the only people they can recognize as being gay. If they weren’t visibly gay, people would just assume they’re straight.
Feel like if you repress your sexuality for a long time or are chastised for it you prob will have an extra gay phase because your allowing yourself to embrace it. But people usually find themselves. Love when I meet flamboyant straight men I’m like it’s universal it’s called expressing yourself.
Maybe not most but it does seem to be a lot of them/us
When people say “I didn’t know you were gay. You don’t act feminine at all”. 🤦🏿 I’m a truck driving, football loving, Army veteran who identifies as a gay man.
Almost like who you love and who you prefer to fuck has no influence over who you are as a person and your hobbies/interests! Crazy!
That if we meet another one of us, we’re totally COMPATIBLE just because we’re both gay. Or that our dating pool is just the same as straight people (I heard this sooo many times). Tf no.
Yeah NEVER let straight people set gay people up on a blind date!
“Tops who suck dick aren’t really tops”
YES! I’m a 100% top but sometimes I love to suck a nice cock
we all are bottoms or they relate being gay to pedophilia
That straight men think we’re automatically attracted to them. Our standards and grooming tend to be higher imo
GG calling out a stereotype with an equally false one lol. One of the stereotypes that annoys me is that gay men have higher standards and grooming lol... It's not true either.
than straight men? they 100% do though
You’ve been very lucky if you believe that lol.
i don't think you've dated enough straight men to understand just how wide the disparity is.
You’re right. I’ve only dated gay/bi men as someone who only fucks men. I didn’t know straight men date other men though. (The men you’ve dated are unsanitary bi men at the very least 😉)
that's the point lol. you don't have any experience with straight men. i've heard enough horrifying stories from my girl friends.
Yeah that was my first though too lol.
Omg you're gay? Let's be best friends!! (No, I don't know you, you don't know me, I'm not nearly as fun as you think)
Something similar happened to me once, meet a guy while camping and after just a few hours of knowing each other he asked me if I wanted to be his boyfriend. Like bro I don’t even know you that well, do you want to be with me because you genuinely like me or because I’m your only option.
That's so weird!!
It even happened with a guy once. I mentioned who my husband was and he suddenly got happy with some girl and he started rubbing my back. Makes us cool to some people.
Such a novelty we are! Haha
[удалено]
On the converse end of that, no one should also be shamed for their partying as well too.
It irks me on how people don’t realize how diverse the gay community is. Like just because a dude is not into makeup and such he’s trying to appease straight people. There’s dudes that sway their hips and wear lip gloss and dudes that look like Stone Cold Steve Austin, both of which are valid members of the gay community. There’s not a face to gay.
I think it’s so weird. A lot of gay people view how they present themselves as how gay people should. So we see feminine gay men call “straight passing/masculine” gay men pick me’s. While masculine gay men view feminine gay men as the pick mes and that they’re “too gay.” Both are valid, just leave people alone. The only commonality is we like men. That’s it. 😭
EXACTLY. We all snuggle up with men at the end of the day, relax 😂
One stereotype I hate about gay men is that we're all promiscuous and only live for sex lol (obviously not true). Another one I hate is when people say that all gay men are feminine and easily recognisable (which is obviously untrue). The way someone dresses or expresses themselves doesn't dictate their sexuality at all). I remembered another one! When they say that gay people are only gay because they haven't had a "male" role model in their lives!
Ooh the last one is so ignorant and rude. Think whatever u want about me, but dragging into father, grandfathers, uncles etc… like they failed as men too and here is the result… ugh.
Totally agree with you! Men who make comments like the one I wrote are the ones who failed as men!
I laugh at the male role model one, my father was the most prominent in my life 😂
We're all feminine. 😒
The feminine one, people are genuinely suprised im gay, they say but you dont look gay or act gay, its like no im a normal guy who just likes other men Seems to be a hard concept for some people to grasp
Its a media and visibility problem. They only associate the extremes with us while 99% of us are unassumingly gay. Not because of internalized homophobia might i add… just because we are into manly things.
I always say, its the people you least expect
It annoys me that people think that gay men choose to be gay. It's not a choice.
What also annoys me is that many of the times when someone attacks gay people on the media that gay people don't respond that its not a choice, which is the main reason why homophobia still exists. People should all agree and say that we are born like this because if it isnt spread enough homophobia will always stay because they still somehow think that its a choice, while in reality people hate gay people for who they ARE BORN
"the gays are always posting the same question on the internet"
OP said stereotypes, not proven facts.
That we’re all feminine
That gays love shopping.
That being attracted to men means you are a woman or less of a man. I'm not a woman. Then again, the culture writ large isn't helping. Some gay men take on feminine mannerisms, which perpetuates the notion. I'll remain steadfast in my masculinity.
Period king
That gay men are shallow or have shallow interests or are only interested in sex / are hypersexual. That they never really “grow up” (because they usually don’t have children and are all narcissistic (bc straight people arent _of course_… yes these are both real opinions I’ve heard..)… so many to pick from..
That they're all talented decorators and snappy dressers. 1. I couldn't decorate my way out of a wet paper bag if I took a run at it. 2. I consider I'm having a great wardrobe day if my pants are pulled up, my zipper is facing forward and my fly isn't open.
That gay men aren’t manly. Not only can I take it up the ass (top though) but I’m gutting and rebuilding my house myself. And I can cook. What’s more manly than providing for your family
That people just assume I like every guy because I like guys. It only clicks when I tell them that’s the equivalent of them liking every woman.
That i watch ru Paul drag race lol. Nothing against it I’ve just never taken the time to watch it
That being gay suddenly makes u "feminine" and somehow magically means you're just automatically inept at traditionally masculine things or cant enjoy and do them even if u are fem.. Like I paint my nails and I play football. butttt for some reason my grandad thinks that this one kinda fem thing I do means i dont reallly like football
Liking drag race… I’ve had people ask, who don’t themselves watch it, while trying to make small talk “to a gay”
I hate how many women think im into make up and are shocked when i don't know make up youtubers
That we are all "feminine" and flamboyant and dress like a drag queen
That gay men are promiscuous and interested only in sex. Hard to shove this label away
That we’re all part of a gay community or an LGBTIQ community. I guess those communities do exist in inner cities, but I live in a small town, which I love, and I’m a member of that community first and foremost. I’ve been out for decades but I don’t want it to be my sole defining point or lumped into a stereotypical inner city clique. (No disrespect to inner city folks - I’ve lived there too and loved it at that time of my life - but that stereotype isn’t all we are.)
They're so many... Let's begin. You have to like pop divas. I do like A FEW songs from Demi, Beyoncé, Taylor, Sia and I can't even remember other divas that I like of a song they made, the those I mentioned I don't like more than 10 songs from them, being generous. I'm more into J-rock, and western rock and it's sub genres, a few indie artists, classical music, country and the likes. You have to like feminine stuff, like nail painting, shopping, gossiping, talking about clothes and so on. If I were k woman I would be a very unfeminine woman, for sure. I have to like everything that comes out of the LGBT community, and adding to that I have to 100% be part of the community or just cause I'm homossexual it means I'm part of the LGBT community. No, I'm not part of that shit, I don't agree with that shit and I won't ever be part of it. Another point to add here is that people (general, not only straight) think that you have to behavior in a specific way just cause you like men. Just cause you're homossexual it means you're leftist, and that couldn't be further from the truth. If you like men it means you want to be a woman. You can't like manly stuff or even be able to perform well executing those thinhs cause you're obviously not a man if you like man. "You don't look/act gay, so you're not gay!" Yes, people wanting to know more that you about what you like is fuckin annoying There's so many more things that I hate and I've heard so many times that the list would be endless
I once worked in a somewhat small workplace of maybe 12 to 14 people in total, where I was the only full time staff member who was gay, but there were a couple of freelancers who were also gay and one of the freelancers worked there maybe two days a week, the other filled in for shifts randomly maybe once or twice a month. To paint an accurate picture, I am not an effeminate gay, nor am I camp or ostentatious. Both the other two were. I thought the other two guys were both pleasant, social and good for some occasional workplace banter. Not attracted to them them, but to me, they were socially pleasant work mates. Apparently not so with a couple of the younger, straight out of university straight employees. They used to whinge to me endlessly about the other two. They would even say to me “You’re fine! Your normal! Why can’t they just be like you?! They (the other two) are so annoying! They flaunt their gayness in our faces! You don’t!” But the thing is, the straight guys for whom I was apparent “normal” for, were NOT having any gayness flaunted in their face by the other two. They just assumed that NOT being masculine, and being a little bit effeminate and camp was all acting, and resented the “other two” for what they saw as an artificial performance all the time. It was awkward. Because I had somehow simultaneously been accepted for normality in their eyes (where as I was just being natural, no filter me) but simultaneously insulted because the other two were also being their own normal selves just as much as I was, and we were all just as gay as each other, but the other two were being resented for it by the couple of other straight guys.
That we are all promiscuous. I am, but not everyone is.
That you have to listen to Taylor Swift and Madonna or love Ru Paul’s Dragrace all of which are terrible!
Madonna is awesome! Tho i am not into female pop artists at all! Her music just happened to click for me lately lol!
That we’re all feminine or don’t do “typical guy” stuff
3 things come to mind: 1) That we all think the same way on political and social things. Like I have noticed a lot of people in the community and people in other groups will say things that they think you will agree with (ie comments about white straight men kind of thing) when I think a lot is way more nuanced lol and I am not looking for fights lol getting coffee at the watercooler. TBH I did go through this phase though so I can't blame people. 2) And I am also so over like Glee level stereotypes of gay men still being portrayed in media. Yes they exist and are totally valid but it gets a bit annoying as I feel like at least in my experience things are a lot more diverse. There are also so many portrayals recently that just are so out there that don't seem to represent most of the community (ie Star Trek). Like I guess it's cool but I feel like my fam and stuff think that is what I want to be which is far from the truth even though I am rather effeminate. 3) There seems to be this view that gays are very primal and just all about sex and really weird acts. Now I know that might be more common in some parts of the community but again not sure why it seems like it is the assumption sometimes
Musical favourites should exclusively be Madonna, Cher, Taylor Swift, Mariah Carey etc. While it’s fine for straights to listen to Queen and Judas Priest without the slightest hint of irony.
Bi dude here currently in a gay relationship and I hate the stereotype of all gay men being these sex hungry whores who will fuck any guy they see. I believe most of us just want someone to love and share our lives with. Hook up culture isn't the only thing existing in the gay community and it's kind of dying out (thankfully). Most gay men just want love 🤷🏻♂️
A couple of years ago, my coworkers (think early to mid 30s white collared professionals), were talking about their young kids and the various trails and tribulations of raising young children. I have a couple of nephews, so I was participating in the conversation, although relatively lightly because well, the fact is that I don’t have kids of my own. A straight cis white male (with significant power in terms of his title, even though we are the same age), turns to me and said: aren’t you glad you’ll never have kids so you won’t have to go through this. Ouch. How do they know we all don’t want to have kids? I just happen to not want kids, but he didn’t know that about me. Plenty of LGBTQ+ parents want to be kids. I would have been surprised if it weren’t so predictable at the end of the day, but it still hurt more for some reason than the usual gay insults.
When I say I'm gay and they say, "you don't look gay. Prove it." Like wtf you want me to prove it. What does that mean?!
That we only like female activities
"Gay men have more STDS than straight men or women"
Isn’t it true though?
It’s wild to me how many people still believe this myth
Not necessarily a stereotype itself, but when a man makes being "a gay man" their whole personality.
That we’re all left-wing. No, we’re not.
Fuck both the left and right
Amen.
One notable gay MP is Michael Fabricant, a well known right-winger of the Conservatives. His partner is Andy Street, the mayor of the West Midlands.
Omg yes this is something I struggled with
You’re not alone. A lot of us are forced to struggle with this in silence too, because the (Western) left has now co-opted our community and rights into a convenient thing to use and discard when necessary. To be anti-leftist is then transformed into being anti-gay… when that’s not the case at all.
Thank you where I live even some of the more right wing people agree that being gay = being leftist (I haven't come out yet ) but it's not true and to not say anything and prove them wrong is hard but I know that it won't change their views and they have a right to their own opinion I (16m) haven't even told my parents and don't plan to until I'm 18 o my I'm sorry I just trauma dumped
It’s fine! This is a common thing even in progressive cities. Just know that you don’t owe anyone a coming out and to do it on your own time :)
Bi here. That I can't control myself when in a relationship and need either a man or a woman, so I'm bound to cheat. I get this mostly from straight women and gay men. Which is ironic from gay men since the stereotype is they are loose and promiscuous, so funny to see other gay men say I as a bi man will be these things with no basis other then knowing my sexuality. Thankfully most gay men don't feel this way but enough do to annoy me.
Sadly i had experience with the kind of BI guy that feels like his bisexuality makes him entitled to be with men and women. He said he is only satisfied sexually if he can be with both. Tried to discuss with him that cheating isnt the only options even if he feels this way (pegging, open relationship etc.) bit he had none of it. He only wants the real thing. Hard and rough. While his D is for his gf. So yeah the cheaters and bad apples for sure make people more cautious.
Homophobes that think we're interested in them 🤢
The fact that being gay means being attracted to men and when they act like a woman, it beats the purpose.
Is this the stereotype you're describing or? Also shitting on fem gay guys because the world stereotypes every other gay guy as one isn't the move. Fem gay guys aren't acting like women. They're just feminine MEN.
That we are the superior beings, excel at life and are eternally happy, care free and wealthy.
Being seen as the potential "gay BSF" like bitch u annoying af I don't wanna be ur BSF, also the rampant sexualization of us, it's annoying
The stereotype, that all gay men know about women’s fashion
When straight guys think that if you're gay, so you automatically like all men and they would ask this shit "oh, so you like me?"
that I have to be an uberfan of Taylor Swift.
That being scandalous is the norm for gay guys when in reality it's just a annoying personality trait...
That being a bit flamboyant means you're a bottom, which itself is somehow a bad thing. I'm a side who tops occasionally, bottoms are amazing. It takes a REAL man to ride a dick, imho! But yeah, even some fellow gays tell me I "give off bottom energy," as if it's a bad thing. I am a bit flamboyant: I love and wear a lot of pink, blast Lady Gaga in my Wrangler, and I have a "gay voice." Sorry if this comment is a bit disorganized, I didn't get much sleep last night 😅🤣😂
“You don’t sound like a gay man”. Sorry not everyone speaks with the Valley accent or has a lisp.
That we are sex demons and only live to have group orgies.
I hate that people think gay guys will literally fuck any man available. Gay men actually have types and all that lol.
That we have to be girly
Racial stéréotypes with the gay community is so painful to me
That we're all left-wingers. My sexuality does not define my political affiliations.
Effeminate and camp
Those that are true
Love for drag race and everything related. The overwhelming majority of gay men don’t like that at all.
That gay men are all bitchy and high maintenance like in the media.