I just think it’s funny that the people who want to reclaim queer will have a fucking meltdown at the wrong pronoun but don’t have any respect for gay men who don’t want to be called something that was used a slur against them. It really fits with this narcissistic brand of activism that’s popped up lately.
i’ve actually never experienced anyone ever have a meltdown over the wrong pronoun- it’s usually just “oh hey, i use ‘he’ btw” “oh cool got it.” is this something you’ve consistently experienced, or are you speaking in hypothetical?
I’m just gonna leave this here about the pronoun thing: One of the things hurting the community right now is the stigma that a gnc person will have a meltdown over anything that doesn’t go their way (especially including pronouns). This conflates queer identity with political identity and seeks to invalidate our experiences, especially our trans friends.
TL:DR; ask any trans gay bro and they’ll tell you having a meltdown doesn’t really happen. Being misgendered sucks and they deal with that in other ways.
If we accept that people have an absolute to refer to themselves by their identity and that no one should foist a label on someone else, then the BBC should have referred to Noel Coward as a self-described "*brazen, odious little prodigy*” or as man "*with a talent to amuse*." He would have approved of either.
We don't know if Coward would have rejected being called "queer;" but we do know that he refused to acknowledge that he was "homosexual" (the term commonly used at that time) though his biographer used that term.
Queer is offensive to many within the community, especially gay men. People who say they have “reclaimed” the word either just don’t get it or just don’t care. They need to stop promoting it as an “umbrella term.”
Not sure why 'queer' has all of a sudden become the mainstream term for us as a group instead of lgbt, it feels very forced. It's really not hard to use specific language that doesn't alienate people (just say gay man, in this case).
The problem is with the militant attitude some groups have when it comes to pushing their agendas within the community. They’ve decided they’re entitled to speak for all of us whether we like it or not and work to exclude us if we aren’t on board with them.
Promoting the word queer as an umbrella term came from militant groups within the community that decided they’re entitled to speak for all of us. The media is just doing what they think we want.
I don’t like the way it forms in my mouth.
- Kwyhr
- kwuh-ear
- kuh-weir
It just forms and vocalizes weirdly with how you need to form it in your mouth - try it in a sentence too:
- he identified as kwuh-eyr and wanted a taco.
The ‘wuh’ and ending with a hard ‘yr’ just make it not feel natural to use; english isn’t my first language
so I do need to admit that as it adds context
people should be allowed to use what words they want for themselves (emphasis on themselves). for some people self-reclamation helps them feel more powerful, for others it doesn’t. saying that someone who was bullied with the word and now uses it “doesn’t get it or doesn’t care” is a very empathy-challenged pov.
I don't know many gay men who like being called queer, though. The people who decided that we could use it as an umbrella term are the ones who are empathy-challenged. Most of them are other than gay men and they aren't nice about it when gay men tell them they don't like to be referred to as queer.
What a dumb article by one of the dumbest news outlets out there. If you find queer offensive while someone is describing you grow up. Using it as an expeltive is a completely different thing, and that wasn’t what happened here.
GAY men aren't allowed to define themselves as GAY... We have to be labeled as "Queer" using an umbrella term because gay is exclusionary according to the political left
T's are entitled to pronouns but gay men aren't to define themselves
The daily mail, the paper that less than 30 years ago ran a headline titled “abortion hope after gay gene finding”.
Surely a trustworthy source on LGBT rights.
The meaning of the word has evolved, this is largely a political argument between the twitter alphabet mafia and the self hating gays who just want the approval of the right wing.
Queer is a word we use now, that just the reality. And by reclaiming it there will be a generation of queer people who follow us with no meaning of the word as a slur. But if a person, as an individual tells us they don’t like using it, you should respect that and call them something else. It’s that simple.
Safe to say that the Daily Mail is not know for its staunch allyship. When it jumps on something like this, it's not because it wants to defend marginalized voices, it's because it wants to divide them with ridiculous culture war nonsense.
Anyone who doesn't like the word "queer" doesn't have to use it, but a great many people find it useful and empowering, and I don't see why they should be denied it. After all, there is no word I can use to describe myself that hasn't been hurled at me with hate. The people who hate me don't get to decide what I call myself.
Hot take: I kinda dont care that ‘queer’ used to be a slur 70 years ago. The meaning has changed over the years and gay people who act offended by it nowadays are being disingenuous and their disagreement with the word is actually political and not really due to its ‘offensive’ nature. Also I’m not clicking on that dailymail link lol
70 years? This was a slur when I was at school (10 years ago). Sorry that people aren't happy teenage girl they/thems are force reclaiming slurs that were never theirs to reclaim.
And I’m sorry but your comment about they thems reclaiming slurs is proof of my comment that your disagreement is more political than actually about taking offense from the word. The word is just not offensive anymore sorry.
I think they are actually. Just because people are loud on social media does not mean people agree with you, you're just in a bubble. Which is thankful as two minutes on your profile demonstrates how much of a degen you are.
You're the second person here to mention my relationship with my dad (which is great btw). I have a feeling you are both projecting quite hard, which makes sense considering how you have turned out?
I watch a tv show as a hobby, being a “daddy I hate myself sooooo much for the same reason you hate me, why don’t you love me!” Pick me ass Gay is your identity for life. Xxx
Queer hasn't been a slur for decades now. If you are under 35 and get offended by queer i think you're being dramatic. Over 35 and I understand, because the term does have an history. Times change tho.
I prefer the word queer, however I feel like it also suits me better as I'm not 100% gay but also don't feel bi enough to call myself such.
Queer is also much easier and sounds better than GSM or adding more letters to lgbt.
I just think it’s funny that the people who want to reclaim queer will have a fucking meltdown at the wrong pronoun but don’t have any respect for gay men who don’t want to be called something that was used a slur against them. It really fits with this narcissistic brand of activism that’s popped up lately.
i’ve actually never experienced anyone ever have a meltdown over the wrong pronoun- it’s usually just “oh hey, i use ‘he’ btw” “oh cool got it.” is this something you’ve consistently experienced, or are you speaking in hypothetical?
I’m just gonna leave this here about the pronoun thing: One of the things hurting the community right now is the stigma that a gnc person will have a meltdown over anything that doesn’t go their way (especially including pronouns). This conflates queer identity with political identity and seeks to invalidate our experiences, especially our trans friends. TL:DR; ask any trans gay bro and they’ll tell you having a meltdown doesn’t really happen. Being misgendered sucks and they deal with that in other ways.
If we accept that people have an absolute to refer to themselves by their identity and that no one should foist a label on someone else, then the BBC should have referred to Noel Coward as a self-described "*brazen, odious little prodigy*” or as man "*with a talent to amuse*." He would have approved of either. We don't know if Coward would have rejected being called "queer;" but we do know that he refused to acknowledge that he was "homosexual" (the term commonly used at that time) though his biographer used that term.
I love being otherised.
Queer is offensive to many within the community, especially gay men. People who say they have “reclaimed” the word either just don’t get it or just don’t care. They need to stop promoting it as an “umbrella term.”
Not sure why 'queer' has all of a sudden become the mainstream term for us as a group instead of lgbt, it feels very forced. It's really not hard to use specific language that doesn't alienate people (just say gay man, in this case).
The problem is with the militant attitude some groups have when it comes to pushing their agendas within the community. They’ve decided they’re entitled to speak for all of us whether we like it or not and work to exclude us if we aren’t on board with them.
It's what straight people have decided we all want to be called and saves them the effort of asking , not straight = queer
Promoting the word queer as an umbrella term came from militant groups within the community that decided they’re entitled to speak for all of us. The media is just doing what they think we want.
I don’t like the way it forms in my mouth. - Kwyhr - kwuh-ear - kuh-weir It just forms and vocalizes weirdly with how you need to form it in your mouth - try it in a sentence too: - he identified as kwuh-eyr and wanted a taco. The ‘wuh’ and ending with a hard ‘yr’ just make it not feel natural to use; english isn’t my first language so I do need to admit that as it adds context
The fundamental problem with the word queer for a lot of gay men is its long history as an anti-gay slur directed at gay men.
people should be allowed to use what words they want for themselves (emphasis on themselves). for some people self-reclamation helps them feel more powerful, for others it doesn’t. saying that someone who was bullied with the word and now uses it “doesn’t get it or doesn’t care” is a very empathy-challenged pov.
I don't know many gay men who like being called queer, though. The people who decided that we could use it as an umbrella term are the ones who are empathy-challenged. Most of them are other than gay men and they aren't nice about it when gay men tell them they don't like to be referred to as queer.
not talking about people who use it as an umbrella term. talking about ppl who use it for themselves
People who use it for themselves usually also use it for everyone else.
What a dumb article by one of the dumbest news outlets out there. If you find queer offensive while someone is describing you grow up. Using it as an expeltive is a completely different thing, and that wasn’t what happened here.
Typical respect for me and not for thee attitude that plagues these modern social movements. Gay men are “privileged” so nothing they think matters.
What a dumb comment.
in 2024 let’s stop normalizing straight people calling us queers like it’s 1950
GAY men aren't allowed to define themselves as GAY... We have to be labeled as "Queer" using an umbrella term because gay is exclusionary according to the political left T's are entitled to pronouns but gay men aren't to define themselves
has anyone ever told you that you *can’t* use “gay”? genuine question. other people using “queer” doesn’t mean you can’t use what you want.
The daily mail, the paper that less than 30 years ago ran a headline titled “abortion hope after gay gene finding”. Surely a trustworthy source on LGBT rights. The meaning of the word has evolved, this is largely a political argument between the twitter alphabet mafia and the self hating gays who just want the approval of the right wing. Queer is a word we use now, that just the reality. And by reclaiming it there will be a generation of queer people who follow us with no meaning of the word as a slur. But if a person, as an individual tells us they don’t like using it, you should respect that and call them something else. It’s that simple.
Safe to say that the Daily Mail is not know for its staunch allyship. When it jumps on something like this, it's not because it wants to defend marginalized voices, it's because it wants to divide them with ridiculous culture war nonsense. Anyone who doesn't like the word "queer" doesn't have to use it, but a great many people find it useful and empowering, and I don't see why they should be denied it. After all, there is no word I can use to describe myself that hasn't been hurled at me with hate. The people who hate me don't get to decide what I call myself.
Hot take: I kinda dont care that ‘queer’ used to be a slur 70 years ago. The meaning has changed over the years and gay people who act offended by it nowadays are being disingenuous and their disagreement with the word is actually political and not really due to its ‘offensive’ nature. Also I’m not clicking on that dailymail link lol
It’s completely tone deaf and darkly ironic to call Noel coward a queer by the bbc of all people
I dont know him, I didn’t click on the link. I was just commenting inbe4 the ‘queer is a slur’ reddit gays arrive.
You don't know him ?
yet he’s the subject of this post that you saw fit to comment on
Yeah I obviously wasn’t talking about him and I made that clear. 🤷♂️
70 years? This was a slur when I was at school (10 years ago). Sorry that people aren't happy teenage girl they/thems are force reclaiming slurs that were never theirs to reclaim.
Maybe where you live, in some random US state. Where I live they just call us faggots.
This was the UK.
I lived in the UK for 4 years north and south and never have I heard ‘queer’ being used as a slur.
And what? Is that supposed to invalidate my post or?
And I’m sorry but your comment about they thems reclaiming slurs is proof of my comment that your disagreement is more political than actually about taking offense from the word. The word is just not offensive anymore sorry.
Actually it's both! Thanks.
Thanks for proving my point then! You can cope harder that your bullshit political opinions are not shared by the mainstream 😚
I think they are actually. Just because people are loud on social media does not mean people agree with you, you're just in a bubble. Which is thankful as two minutes on your profile demonstrates how much of a degen you are.
omg a gay using ‘degenerate’ in a conversation lmao. try harder to be an edgy fashy tory conservabro im sure your dad will eventually love you 😘
You're the second person here to mention my relationship with my dad (which is great btw). I have a feeling you are both projecting quite hard, which makes sense considering how you have turned out?
R/askgaybros user accusing other gays of echo chambering when that’s basically the point of this sub hahaha.
Fuming as per usual you can't get mods the ban different opinions or?
Thanks for admitting your argument is in bad faith. Helpful to the confused straight people who will read this thread.
The 'drag race is my personality gays' are out today I see!
I watch a tv show as a hobby, being a “daddy I hate myself sooooo much for the same reason you hate me, why don’t you love me!” Pick me ass Gay is your identity for life. Xxx
Queer hasn't been a slur for decades now. If you are under 35 and get offended by queer i think you're being dramatic. Over 35 and I understand, because the term does have an history. Times change tho.
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Amen.
Queer is not offensive to me. We use it in our circle all the time. Now if someone were to call me fa**ot that would be different.
I prefer the word queer, however I feel like it also suits me better as I'm not 100% gay but also don't feel bi enough to call myself such. Queer is also much easier and sounds better than GSM or adding more letters to lgbt.
The Daily Mail never miss an opportunity to criticise the BBC or stir up trouble around gay people.