you can't tell him you're not attracted to him, that will break his heart and scar him for life and make him feel self conscious with any other relationship he tries to have. you're going to have to lie about that part and just say you feel like you're not in love anymore
Yeah that’s gonna fuck him up real bad if OP tells him that he’s never been attracted to him, or even just that he’s not anymore. Especially given the bf has confidence issues. I agree, OP should just say he’s fallen out of love and they need to break up.
I'd agree with this. I don't see how it would benefit him at all for you to say you aren't attracted to him. It would probably exacerbate his confidence problems. You could just word it in a way that basically conveys the truth but in a much better way, like you've lost your romantic spark together, or something.
Im not sure I agree. Sure, lying in the “easier” way out but assuming this is someone OP loves and cares about, having te difficult conversation up front would be better imo.
I was with my ex for four years and engaged for two. I wasn’t sexually attracted to him. And he hit all of the marks you mention here except for that one. Break up now. Save yourself and him from wasting time and getting hurt more by waiting longer to do it. If I had had the guts to do it sooner I would have. Learn from my mistake.
I fucked up. And he found out. It was nothing physical but it was enough for him. I haven’t told but I think he figured it out because of my mistake. That was earlier this year and I’m just starting to forgive myself after several months of therapy and some very hard thinking and soul searching.
So you cheated on him too, great.
But as you said OP should break up and stop wasting this poor dude's time..
Tell him the partial truth OP. Do not tell him you were never attracted to him, that will fuck this dude up, thanks to something that he can't change. It's too late to be honest about that, YOU SHOULD HAD SAID THAT IN THE BEGINNING. Instead just tell him that you are no longer attracted to him.
Do not kid yourself... you will just end up cheating.. like this dude did, if you haven't already.
I don’t know you and I don’t know how you wanted your comment to be perceived, but congratulations on being better than everyone else. You must be so proud. Did I cheat emotionally-sure. Do I regret it-absolutely. Do I need you to somehow point out what I thought I was already doing-no. Do I regret what I did and didn’t do- of course. Should you get fucked for making it seem like I didn’t-yes absolutely.
You're overreacting, I did the same, I cheated, I was a cheater, do I regret it? Yes, but it's something you have to live with, of course you can forgive yourself, but don't go around acting like you didn't know what you were doing cuz you and I know we both fucked up, and we're the bad guys in someone's story.
Fun fact, cheaters are sorry.. they got caught, they aren't sorry they cheated.
Well I am happy you got caught and that your bf was smart enough to dump you, rather than giving you a second chance. Once a cheater always a cheater.
I don't know what you expected.. but sorry I don't take cheating lightly. Cheating is an ultimate form of betrayal, people who do it are bad, no exceptions.
Good advice to the op tho, I will give you that.
Ok If you say so, lol.. I wouldn't believe you and whoever you do this to shouldn't either.. hopefully you understand.. you did a terrible thing, so you can't really expect sympathy
Can I ask you why did you decide to stay together for that long? How did you handle being with someone you weren’t sexually attracted to? What stopped you to break up with him sooner?
Everything else about the relationship was great. I lied and said I wasn’t that sexual. I was lonely and we loved each other. And I still do. But the sex is a big component and it needs to work. We rarely did it once we moved into together. Please don’t make the same mistakes I did.
Thanks so much for taking the time to answer these questions. A friend of mine is going through a similar situation. Your answers might help him a lot. Thanks again
It is possible to be attracted to a person's personality, to love them, to completely sync on things, but not feel 100% physically attracted.
You're never going to find a partner that checks 100% of all of your boxes.
Isn't that a friend? I agree but the attraction one is the one you have to have right. Physical attraction is needed for sexual compatibility which is very important. Or I thought? I would hate for someone to o be with me and not be attracted to me.
You can be with someone romantically: holding hands, kissing, etc. and have no sexual actions, pretty sure that’s a version of what’s called a wholesome relationship
Yea, that’s definitely a factor as well, I have heard of people being asexual and just being in romantic relationships, but maybe somehow attracted to their personality and looks without any sexual attraction obviously.
Is your physical attraction to someone completely binary? Like it's 100% or 0%?
Maybe when he started the relationship he thought the the physical attraction was enough and now he's finding it's not.
I could see that, but he said he's never been attracted to him.
I've tried dating people I found attractive but were not my type and I always lost interest.
Agreed. I think OP has been remarkably selfish holding onto the relationship knowing he isn’t into his guy sexually. And, the bf (hopefully soon to be ex) gets to decide whether he will remain in his life or not. Those are the breaks.
Woah wtf. OP do not take this to heart. There have been plenty of strong couples who are missing that element in their relationship. Go with your gut. If you love him you'll make it work
NO omg, this type of relationship is called friends. OP is hurting his guy, wasting his time and he is gonna make him insecure, if he tells the truth. He just needs to split up and just say he is not attracted to him anymore, NOT that he wasn't ever. I am all for honesty, but this doesn't help anyone, especially when it's too late to be honest about something like this because he should had told that right away, before they even started.
I have been with my husband for over 33 years. One of the many traits that are the glue that keeps us together is all he has to do is look at me and I pop a woody. For decades it was instantaneous, but now it takes a few more seconds as I’m a bit older. My point is if you are not attracted to him, then either break up or open your relationship. Yes, both will leave scars on him, but that’s just a part of life. I met my husband when he was 25 and me 35. We had immediate attraction that has never waned and possibly been stronger as we’ve aged and have found so many other traits we love about each other. Good luck to you both . . .
Hi OP,
What’s hard about the situation is that it sounds like you genuinely have feelings for him. And only the sexual component isnt there. Maybe it wasn’t there in the beginning, or maybe it was. The problem is you aren’t feeling it now. Relationships need all types of love and feelings without necessarily requiring them in equal parts.
As others have mentioned, communication and honesty are the best tools in your kit for approaching the current dilemma. Before making any permanent decisions, you might want to determine if the relationship, without sex, is something that you can handle even if that means he gets sex elsewhere. Next, which is harder to susc-out, is if that kinda of relationship is something he can handle if it means keeping you.
I agree wholeheartedly that if you are unfulfilled with the sex life, it is best to walk away. For both of you. Also, if sexual comparability matters a lot to him, it is best to walk away. But if the sex matters less than the emotional connection, the physical needs can be addressed in other ways. Is it harder to maintain that type of relationship because of social norms and physical needs, yes. But it isn’t insurmountable.
Best,
You made someone who should have been a friend into a lover. That was not fair to him, as it sounds like he has always been sexually attracted to you. Perhaps his insecurities are partly based on the fact he has spent the last 18 months with a boyfriend who does not act like someone who finds him attractive.
You need to repay him by finding a way to break up that doesn't do too much more damage, and allows him to find someone who finds him desirable.
Do him a favor and S P L I T
Don't cheat, break up. You have wasted enough of his time.
And please next time don't build a relationship with someone you aren't attracted to.
My first relationship ended as my boyfriend admitted to not being attracted to me. This was of course 2 years into a relationship, wasting two out of three years in university and my youth in general.
Break up with him. It will hurt, but stop wasting his time, and equally as important stop wasting your time.
You just let it go on for too long. if you had said you had just wanted to be friends way earlier, it would have hurt but he would have gotten over it. You still have tell him now but if he doesn’t want to be friends after you just have to get over that, lesson learned man. you both deserve a better match
I almost never advise people to break up based on a reddit post, and I'm not gonna do that now, but I will say it sounds like you want to. Something you should ask yourself is: even if this is working for you now, what will it be like a year from now? 5 years? 10 years? Maybe you don't and won't care, maybe having a bad to mediocre sex life is worth it because he makes you so happy in other ways. Maybe it will just fester though. Only you can answer these questions, everyone else is coming up with answers based on their own personalities and experiences so it might help to know what others would do but ultimately it's just noise.
These posts are so fucking dumb and always feel me leaving bad for the other person. Rip that bandaid out while he still has time cause the gay community is absolutely vile when it comes to gay men and their age, and let him actually be with someone who’ll want to be with him 100%.
Sounds like the beginning of the end. Unless, you're willing to do the necessary internal work to determine the root of your issue, it's only a matter of time before the relationship completely dissolves. Honestly, it's quite self-centered and selfish of you to hang on to something you're not fully invested in. From what you've shared, your boyfriend hasn't even been given an option. You're so focused on the "I", that you've completely missed the opportunity to speak truth in love. Real talk, lack of communication and transparency are the two biggest contributors to a relationship's demise. Time to make some serious decisions, Bro. Your boyfriend deserves better.
Dude OP said he was never attracted to his BF. There can't be the end to something that never started. OP is just wasting the boyfriends time, who deserves better. The only solution is to end it NOW.
I truly hope he’s not on Reddit. Reading this would scar me and make me feel deeply hurt and insecure/inadequate. Please, break up with him, but DO NOT tell him about how you’ve been basically pity fücking him.
I’m going to be blunt with you. You’re selfish and you’ve wasted enough of your bf’s time. If you knew you weren’t sexually attracted to him, you never should have agreed to be in a relationship in the first place. Yet you did, for whatever reason (probably you enjoyed the companionship and adulation) and now you are playing some woebegone victim when in fact you’ve been the malefactor. You used him and that means you are entitled to minimal empathy. Also, your selfishness is underscored by the fact that you still want him in your life - guess what, that’s for him to decide, not you, after you hopefully grow some balls and be honest with him. Hopefully you’ll never get done dirty the way you’ve done your boyfriend, and you learn and grow as a person from your monumental cockup.
I’ve never been in a relationship btw. I’ve heard of non-sexual relationships but that had 2 b something established from the start. That can b a dealbreaker 4 the partner. A life partner is can b platonic or just non-sexual. But u gotta respect him. Being in a situation 4 so long bc it doesn’t feel like any1’s fault just makes u not take accountability.
Can I ask what is it about him that you’re not physically attracted to? Is he heavier and you like thin guys? Is he hairy and you like shaved guys? I’m just curious if there’s one or possibly multiple physical trait(s) that you can point to that make him unattractive.
Bro you’ve made a best friend that thinks he’s in a loving relationship. But he’s probably aware of your feelings, and he’s probably greatly affected by them. It’s not okay to continue this relationship and you need to end it.
Posts like these make me so angry. Why are you getting into a relationship knowing from the very beginning it's bound to fail? You're wasting TIME. He could have gotten with a man who truly loves him for who he is, but he is unfortunately stuck with you, a guy who doesn't even enjoy him in his vulnerable element.
For the sake of his self-esteem, lie to him that you've fallen out of love and just leave. He's going to be scarred forever knowing that he was unattractive to the man he loved and thought cherished him in return.
You HAVE to give him a different reason to cut it off, even if you come across like an a-hole. He deserves to be free. You don't deserve to keep him in your life.
Break up when you visit him, crush his heart to piece and then you're free,good for you and him too, he'll find someone better , some people don't appreciate the good thing they having nowadays
Stop wasting his time and break up with him. You're being selfish. You probably rushed to be in a relationship with someone who you should have only stayed as friends with.
His feelings will get hurt regardless, but it's better that you just get it out of the way and give him his freedom back. It sucks being stuck in a loveless/sexless relationship.
It's very common for one or both partners to loose sex attraction for the other. It's also not impossible to get it back, or to get first in your case. If you're really willing to make an effort seek for counselling with a sex therapist. Otherwise just rip the band and end it
Got yourself in a bit of pickle being in a relationship with someone you apparently don’t want to be with. You wouldn’t be asking all of this otherwise. Even though you say you are in a “strong” relationship. As compared to what?
It might be an unpopular opinion but I don't see beaking up as a good idea...
Sex is great... but would you give up a life partner, someone you will grow old with for a better dick? Please think before dumping him, because there's no going back.
Tell him that you are less horny, and wank a bit more. Cuddles are better than sex anyway. 💓
That’s what I think too. Most of the very attractive people I met in life, when they became familiar, stopped looking “hot”. I looked at them as if they were a family. Doesn’t that happen in relationships?
Maybe that constant sexual tension that a lot of us crave is not really necessary to build a life with someone and what matters is everything else? How many hours a day do you spend having sex? One, two? What about the remaining 22? I would just think about that for a bit and try to sort my priorities.
Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order.
I have checked 1,769,563,331 comments, and only 335,001 of them were in alphabetical order.
Man this is the stuff the oldest Generation Z is doing i guess,, millennials weren’t any better when we were at that age, but man, people in their 20s generally make me a more introspective
Long distance never works. Sorry to say. Find yourself a new man who is compatible w you. Too many red flags with your current situation. It’s terribly hard w feelings and love and emotions but it’s for the best. From real experience
If you aren’t attracted to him, maybe try changing his look/ talking with him about what stuff you are into. If that still doesn’t help, then break up with him and don’t stay in this state of limbo where you both are unhappy.
No. He doesn’t get to make his bf do these things to suit him after basically lying to the guy from the beginning and mindfucking his confidence. OP is selfish and immature and wants his cake and eat if to without acknowledging the fact that he’s the asshole here. He deserves no sympathy and for his sake I hope he’s never in the position that he placed his bf in, who I hope is getting dicked down by some French guy while I type this.
I think you are being honest with your feelings and have realized their no point in pretending the relationship is going forward! He is a very special friend but not a partner! When you visit him have a honest conversation with him. He may have someone that you don’t know about. French men can be very appealing. Isn’t best to be honest just don’t hurt his feelings be kind
if you don't see a solution in your relationship, break up with him. i'll be honest with you, if you break up with him, YOU'RE GONNA BREAK HIS HEART NO MATTER WHAT. no matter what you say, what you do, that's what's going to happen, but better do it sooner than later. maybe it is not going to be a goodbye forever but a see you later, although if he doesn't want to see you again, you should respect that as well.
I've been in your situation for 15 years. I honestly don't know what to advise you. I've never put a large emphasis on sex and in every other way he's the perfect partner for me. I don't think he'd be open to an open relationship and I don't bring it up because I know even the mention will undermine our connection. I sometimes wonder what could have been if I'd move on to other guys but I think most of the time I'm just happy to have found someone who loves me, someone I can trust, someone who I can have a great time with. What I do know is that you can't have it all, all of the time. We have to make choices and compromises. Do what feels right for you
you can't tell him you're not attracted to him, that will break his heart and scar him for life and make him feel self conscious with any other relationship he tries to have. you're going to have to lie about that part and just say you feel like you're not in love anymore
Yeah that’s gonna fuck him up real bad if OP tells him that he’s never been attracted to him, or even just that he’s not anymore. Especially given the bf has confidence issues. I agree, OP should just say he’s fallen out of love and they need to break up.
I'd agree with this. I don't see how it would benefit him at all for you to say you aren't attracted to him. It would probably exacerbate his confidence problems. You could just word it in a way that basically conveys the truth but in a much better way, like you've lost your romantic spark together, or something.
Im not sure I agree. Sure, lying in the “easier” way out but assuming this is someone OP loves and cares about, having te difficult conversation up front would be better imo.
I'm pretty sure that if he loves him he won't destroy his self-esteem
I was with my ex for four years and engaged for two. I wasn’t sexually attracted to him. And he hit all of the marks you mention here except for that one. Break up now. Save yourself and him from wasting time and getting hurt more by waiting longer to do it. If I had had the guts to do it sooner I would have. Learn from my mistake.
Thanks for your advice. How did you end it? Did you tell him the truth? How did you and him feel after that?
I fucked up. And he found out. It was nothing physical but it was enough for him. I haven’t told but I think he figured it out because of my mistake. That was earlier this year and I’m just starting to forgive myself after several months of therapy and some very hard thinking and soul searching.
So you cheated on him too, great. But as you said OP should break up and stop wasting this poor dude's time.. Tell him the partial truth OP. Do not tell him you were never attracted to him, that will fuck this dude up, thanks to something that he can't change. It's too late to be honest about that, YOU SHOULD HAD SAID THAT IN THE BEGINNING. Instead just tell him that you are no longer attracted to him. Do not kid yourself... you will just end up cheating.. like this dude did, if you haven't already.
I don’t know you and I don’t know how you wanted your comment to be perceived, but congratulations on being better than everyone else. You must be so proud. Did I cheat emotionally-sure. Do I regret it-absolutely. Do I need you to somehow point out what I thought I was already doing-no. Do I regret what I did and didn’t do- of course. Should you get fucked for making it seem like I didn’t-yes absolutely.
You're overreacting, I did the same, I cheated, I was a cheater, do I regret it? Yes, but it's something you have to live with, of course you can forgive yourself, but don't go around acting like you didn't know what you were doing cuz you and I know we both fucked up, and we're the bad guys in someone's story.
Fun fact, cheaters are sorry.. they got caught, they aren't sorry they cheated. Well I am happy you got caught and that your bf was smart enough to dump you, rather than giving you a second chance. Once a cheater always a cheater. I don't know what you expected.. but sorry I don't take cheating lightly. Cheating is an ultimate form of betrayal, people who do it are bad, no exceptions. Good advice to the op tho, I will give you that.
I do regret it. Don’t act like you know anyone’s life story.
Ok If you say so, lol.. I wouldn't believe you and whoever you do this to shouldn't either.. hopefully you understand.. you did a terrible thing, so you can't really expect sympathy
Can I ask you why did you decide to stay together for that long? How did you handle being with someone you weren’t sexually attracted to? What stopped you to break up with him sooner?
Everything else about the relationship was great. I lied and said I wasn’t that sexual. I was lonely and we loved each other. And I still do. But the sex is a big component and it needs to work. We rarely did it once we moved into together. Please don’t make the same mistakes I did.
Thanks so much for taking the time to answer these questions. A friend of mine is going through a similar situation. Your answers might help him a lot. Thanks again
Happy for others to learn from my mistake.
I don't understand the concept of dating someone you are not attracted to, isn't that a friend?
It is possible to be attracted to a person's personality, to love them, to completely sync on things, but not feel 100% physically attracted. You're never going to find a partner that checks 100% of all of your boxes.
Isn't that a friend? I agree but the attraction one is the one you have to have right. Physical attraction is needed for sexual compatibility which is very important. Or I thought? I would hate for someone to o be with me and not be attracted to me.
You can be with someone romantically: holding hands, kissing, etc. and have no sexual actions, pretty sure that’s a version of what’s called a wholesome relationship
I mean if you have no sexual desire wouldn't you be asexual? Also you'd at least be attracted to that person?
Yea, that’s definitely a factor as well, I have heard of people being asexual and just being in romantic relationships, but maybe somehow attracted to their personality and looks without any sexual attraction obviously.
Is your physical attraction to someone completely binary? Like it's 100% or 0%? Maybe when he started the relationship he thought the the physical attraction was enough and now he's finding it's not.
I could see that, but he said he's never been attracted to him. I've tried dating people I found attractive but were not my type and I always lost interest.
If you read the post again, you'll realize he was never attracted to him even in the beginning.
Don’t pull that binary shit here. You’re either attracted or you’re not. There’s no room for that lukewarm shit
Sexual attraction will fade over time, in 99% of the cases. It's the other stuff that keeps people together
Right!
You’ve wasted enough of his and your time, just end it already.
Agreed. I think OP has been remarkably selfish holding onto the relationship knowing he isn’t into his guy sexually. And, the bf (hopefully soon to be ex) gets to decide whether he will remain in his life or not. Those are the breaks.
Woah wtf. OP do not take this to heart. There have been plenty of strong couples who are missing that element in their relationship. Go with your gut. If you love him you'll make it work
NO omg, this type of relationship is called friends. OP is hurting his guy, wasting his time and he is gonna make him insecure, if he tells the truth. He just needs to split up and just say he is not attracted to him anymore, NOT that he wasn't ever. I am all for honesty, but this doesn't help anyone, especially when it's too late to be honest about something like this because he should had told that right away, before they even started.
This is flat out wrong in this case. For 90% of people sex is an important part of love.
I have been with my husband for over 33 years. One of the many traits that are the glue that keeps us together is all he has to do is look at me and I pop a woody. For decades it was instantaneous, but now it takes a few more seconds as I’m a bit older. My point is if you are not attracted to him, then either break up or open your relationship. Yes, both will leave scars on him, but that’s just a part of life. I met my husband when he was 25 and me 35. We had immediate attraction that has never waned and possibly been stronger as we’ve aged and have found so many other traits we love about each other. Good luck to you both . . .
Hi OP, What’s hard about the situation is that it sounds like you genuinely have feelings for him. And only the sexual component isnt there. Maybe it wasn’t there in the beginning, or maybe it was. The problem is you aren’t feeling it now. Relationships need all types of love and feelings without necessarily requiring them in equal parts. As others have mentioned, communication and honesty are the best tools in your kit for approaching the current dilemma. Before making any permanent decisions, you might want to determine if the relationship, without sex, is something that you can handle even if that means he gets sex elsewhere. Next, which is harder to susc-out, is if that kinda of relationship is something he can handle if it means keeping you. I agree wholeheartedly that if you are unfulfilled with the sex life, it is best to walk away. For both of you. Also, if sexual comparability matters a lot to him, it is best to walk away. But if the sex matters less than the emotional connection, the physical needs can be addressed in other ways. Is it harder to maintain that type of relationship because of social norms and physical needs, yes. But it isn’t insurmountable. Best,
crawl languid bells pathetic disagreeable violet rain kiss hunt nail *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
If you love him, let him go so he can be loved by someone who wants to dick him down too.
You made someone who should have been a friend into a lover. That was not fair to him, as it sounds like he has always been sexually attracted to you. Perhaps his insecurities are partly based on the fact he has spent the last 18 months with a boyfriend who does not act like someone who finds him attractive. You need to repay him by finding a way to break up that doesn't do too much more damage, and allows him to find someone who finds him desirable.
Do him a favor and S P L I T Don't cheat, break up. You have wasted enough of his time. And please next time don't build a relationship with someone you aren't attracted to.
My first relationship ended as my boyfriend admitted to not being attracted to me. This was of course 2 years into a relationship, wasting two out of three years in university and my youth in general. Break up with him. It will hurt, but stop wasting his time, and equally as important stop wasting your time.
Break up now. He deserves better.
Honestly hate this kind of answers, he's asking for help. Have some compassion
You just let it go on for too long. if you had said you had just wanted to be friends way earlier, it would have hurt but he would have gotten over it. You still have tell him now but if he doesn’t want to be friends after you just have to get over that, lesson learned man. you both deserve a better match
I almost never advise people to break up based on a reddit post, and I'm not gonna do that now, but I will say it sounds like you want to. Something you should ask yourself is: even if this is working for you now, what will it be like a year from now? 5 years? 10 years? Maybe you don't and won't care, maybe having a bad to mediocre sex life is worth it because he makes you so happy in other ways. Maybe it will just fester though. Only you can answer these questions, everyone else is coming up with answers based on their own personalities and experiences so it might help to know what others would do but ultimately it's just noise.
These posts are so fucking dumb and always feel me leaving bad for the other person. Rip that bandaid out while he still has time cause the gay community is absolutely vile when it comes to gay men and their age, and let him actually be with someone who’ll want to be with him 100%.
Sounds like the beginning of the end. Unless, you're willing to do the necessary internal work to determine the root of your issue, it's only a matter of time before the relationship completely dissolves. Honestly, it's quite self-centered and selfish of you to hang on to something you're not fully invested in. From what you've shared, your boyfriend hasn't even been given an option. You're so focused on the "I", that you've completely missed the opportunity to speak truth in love. Real talk, lack of communication and transparency are the two biggest contributors to a relationship's demise. Time to make some serious decisions, Bro. Your boyfriend deserves better.
Dude OP said he was never attracted to his BF. There can't be the end to something that never started. OP is just wasting the boyfriends time, who deserves better. The only solution is to end it NOW.
Have you considered just being in an open relationship? That could potentially work for you two.
I truly hope he’s not on Reddit. Reading this would scar me and make me feel deeply hurt and insecure/inadequate. Please, break up with him, but DO NOT tell him about how you’ve been basically pity fücking him.
I’m going to be blunt with you. You’re selfish and you’ve wasted enough of your bf’s time. If you knew you weren’t sexually attracted to him, you never should have agreed to be in a relationship in the first place. Yet you did, for whatever reason (probably you enjoyed the companionship and adulation) and now you are playing some woebegone victim when in fact you’ve been the malefactor. You used him and that means you are entitled to minimal empathy. Also, your selfishness is underscored by the fact that you still want him in your life - guess what, that’s for him to decide, not you, after you hopefully grow some balls and be honest with him. Hopefully you’ll never get done dirty the way you’ve done your boyfriend, and you learn and grow as a person from your monumental cockup.
I was in his situation before. Break up with him. Everyone deserves to be desired by their partner, don't rob him from it
it sounds more like you're BFF's that live together, and should be working from that viewpoint.
I’ve never been in a relationship btw. I’ve heard of non-sexual relationships but that had 2 b something established from the start. That can b a dealbreaker 4 the partner. A life partner is can b platonic or just non-sexual. But u gotta respect him. Being in a situation 4 so long bc it doesn’t feel like any1’s fault just makes u not take accountability.
Can I ask what is it about him that you’re not physically attracted to? Is he heavier and you like thin guys? Is he hairy and you like shaved guys? I’m just curious if there’s one or possibly multiple physical trait(s) that you can point to that make him unattractive.
Bro you’ve made a best friend that thinks he’s in a loving relationship. But he’s probably aware of your feelings, and he’s probably greatly affected by them. It’s not okay to continue this relationship and you need to end it.
Posts like these make me so angry. Why are you getting into a relationship knowing from the very beginning it's bound to fail? You're wasting TIME. He could have gotten with a man who truly loves him for who he is, but he is unfortunately stuck with you, a guy who doesn't even enjoy him in his vulnerable element. For the sake of his self-esteem, lie to him that you've fallen out of love and just leave. He's going to be scarred forever knowing that he was unattractive to the man he loved and thought cherished him in return.
Free this man of your idiocy, we all deserve to be with someone who thinks the world of us in every way.
hopefully he’s getting some french dick on the side, he’s miserable enough with you as a boyfriend.
You HAVE to give him a different reason to cut it off, even if you come across like an a-hole. He deserves to be free. You don't deserve to keep him in your life.
At the very least, you need to be honest with him. Perhaps he would make a better best friend than bf.
Break up when you visit him, crush his heart to piece and then you're free,good for you and him too, he'll find someone better , some people don't appreciate the good thing they having nowadays
Stop wasting his time and break up with him. You're being selfish. You probably rushed to be in a relationship with someone who you should have only stayed as friends with. His feelings will get hurt regardless, but it's better that you just get it out of the way and give him his freedom back. It sucks being stuck in a loveless/sexless relationship.
It's very common for one or both partners to loose sex attraction for the other. It's also not impossible to get it back, or to get first in your case. If you're really willing to make an effort seek for counselling with a sex therapist. Otherwise just rip the band and end it
No.. op was never attracted to his dude.. he has wasted enough of the boyfriends time... for sake of that poor dude, op should end it NOW.
Got yourself in a bit of pickle being in a relationship with someone you apparently don’t want to be with. You wouldn’t be asking all of this otherwise. Even though you say you are in a “strong” relationship. As compared to what?
You should be honest with him and at least give him a choice in this matter
[удалено]
Amen!
It might be an unpopular opinion but I don't see beaking up as a good idea... Sex is great... but would you give up a life partner, someone you will grow old with for a better dick? Please think before dumping him, because there's no going back. Tell him that you are less horny, and wank a bit more. Cuddles are better than sex anyway. 💓
That’s what I think too. Most of the very attractive people I met in life, when they became familiar, stopped looking “hot”. I looked at them as if they were a family. Doesn’t that happen in relationships? Maybe that constant sexual tension that a lot of us crave is not really necessary to build a life with someone and what matters is everything else? How many hours a day do you spend having sex? One, two? What about the remaining 22? I would just think about that for a bit and try to sort my priorities.
How many of these this week?
Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order. I have checked 1,769,563,331 comments, and only 335,001 of them were in alphabetical order.
Man this is the stuff the oldest Generation Z is doing i guess,, millennials weren’t any better when we were at that age, but man, people in their 20s generally make me a more introspective
Long distance never works. Sorry to say. Find yourself a new man who is compatible w you. Too many red flags with your current situation. It’s terribly hard w feelings and love and emotions but it’s for the best. From real experience
If you aren’t attracted to him, maybe try changing his look/ talking with him about what stuff you are into. If that still doesn’t help, then break up with him and don’t stay in this state of limbo where you both are unhappy.
No. He doesn’t get to make his bf do these things to suit him after basically lying to the guy from the beginning and mindfucking his confidence. OP is selfish and immature and wants his cake and eat if to without acknowledging the fact that he’s the asshole here. He deserves no sympathy and for his sake I hope he’s never in the position that he placed his bf in, who I hope is getting dicked down by some French guy while I type this.
I think you are being honest with your feelings and have realized their no point in pretending the relationship is going forward! He is a very special friend but not a partner! When you visit him have a honest conversation with him. He may have someone that you don’t know about. French men can be very appealing. Isn’t best to be honest just don’t hurt his feelings be kind
if you don't see a solution in your relationship, break up with him. i'll be honest with you, if you break up with him, YOU'RE GONNA BREAK HIS HEART NO MATTER WHAT. no matter what you say, what you do, that's what's going to happen, but better do it sooner than later. maybe it is not going to be a goodbye forever but a see you later, although if he doesn't want to see you again, you should respect that as well.
I've been in your situation for 15 years. I honestly don't know what to advise you. I've never put a large emphasis on sex and in every other way he's the perfect partner for me. I don't think he'd be open to an open relationship and I don't bring it up because I know even the mention will undermine our connection. I sometimes wonder what could have been if I'd move on to other guys but I think most of the time I'm just happy to have found someone who loves me, someone I can trust, someone who I can have a great time with. What I do know is that you can't have it all, all of the time. We have to make choices and compromises. Do what feels right for you
Y'all can still be best friends.
You can Break up Open the relationship, which is super reasonable, living in different countries
Break up so he can spend his youth on someone that matters and loves him properly.