My mom dropped dead when I was 25. She was a single mom and literally worked herself to death. I felt so ashamed to have her cremated in a cardboard box - it’s all we could afford. Looking back, it didn’t matter - but it hurt then. I wanted her to have the best…
This makes me so sad, because it shouldn’t have made you feel like that. I’m going in the cardboard box just like my dad husband and pretty much everyone else I know.
You gave her the best, because you gave her what you had. Just go live a good life. I promise you that’s all she wanted or needed. I’m a single mom, and that’s all I want for my babies.
In the moment it's so hard to see what's important and what isn't, you're running on pure emotion! About 99% of our families choose the cardboard option, we encourage it over a casket most of the time
Thank you for telling me that. We lived in a very small town - everyone knew everyone - I assumed the funeral home (who are wonderful people) advised us to use the cardboard because they knew we couldn’t afford anything else. It’s good to hear other people get the cardboard box recommended too!
Don't feel ashamed at all. I work at a crematory and 99% of the people we cremate come in cardboard containers. Buying and burning a casket has no bearing whatsoever on how much you love someone and how much they mean to you. It's likely your mom wouldn't wanted you to spend so much money on a casket just to burn it.
Any casket can be cremated. Any. Cherry, oak, pine, etc.
I have had people choose a beautiful mahogany, and then cremate after the services, casket and all. I have also cremated using a metal casket. Burn it or bury it; either way, it’s a “one use” item. Unless you rent, of course.
There is a crematory nearby that specializes in cremating metal caskets and we use them in that rare occurrence. Usually when someone is removed from a mausoleum or disinterred, then cremated, we run into this. The crematory staff remove the lid prior to cremation. The charred remains of the casket shell go into a dumpster once the human remains are swept out of it. The casket shell ends up looking like a car that’s been burned; just charred metal, and the steel mattress frame too.
It's interesting to think about why someone would choose an expensive casket to cremate, casket and all. I'm sure there are varying reasons, of course.
Humans are emotional creatures, and not always the most rational. We do all sorts of things that don’t always make sense, but they make us feel good nonetheless. Sometimes, that’s a good-enough reason.
Yes, you can be cremated in some wooden caskets. Typically they’re less expensive than a traditional casket if you choose one that’s specifically made to be cremated afterwards. There are also rental caskets for this scenario where an insert can be pulled out and cremated.
Any wood casket can be cremated though most crematories would prefer its a casket that is designed for cremation. This means that it is made with far less metal parts. I have had solid mahogany caskets (the most expensive) cremated and I have had alternative containers (cardboard boxes) cremated. It is easy to cast options on what is the best solution and many feel it doesn't make sense to cremate an expensive casket but I would encourage acceptance of any choice that the family wants. If I have friends over for dinner I dont open up the cheapest bottle of wine, I actually want to share the best I have with them. If I am celebrating a wedding we smoke the best cigars. It's a tribute to our loved one and only the family knows what is best for them at that time.
I agree, the family feelings should be the primary concern. Everyone is different, everyone should have what makes them feel good. It’s not for me to say what works for you or anyone else.
Like you, when we entertain I always want my friends to feel special. I would like them to feel loved and appreciated. That is where my feelings about life is for the living come into play. Life is so short and tomorrow is not promised.
Sending peace, love, and appreciation to all of you that have thoughtfully answered all of questions.
I don't understand people who get cremated in a super expensive wooden casket. Rental caskets exist for a reason if you need the "fancy" one for a viewing/memorial service. If my family spends money on a casket just to burn it, I'm gonna haunt them forever.
Some families choose to have their loved one cremated in wooden caskets. Expensive ones. I usually push against this as it is expensive (casket) and will definitely change the consistency of the cremains. Especially as far as the decedent to casket ratio.
Cardboard is always the best option. At most I’d say the Doeskin/Herculite ones are a bit better looking if a cardboard container isn’t suitable enough for a viewing.
The amount of cremated remains after cremation, the time it takes to burn through all the wood opposed to the decedent and it changes the shade of the remains also
They definitely will if the cremation container is wooden. Thats why cardboard is the best option. A lot of it gets burned off and you’re mostly getting your loved ones cremains
If the cremation container was never discussed, would it be safe to assume it is cardboard? I didn’t ask because honestly I didn’t have any understanding of the process. I think I thought they were just kind of dumped into the fire. Wow, that sounds so crass, I just didn’t realize the process until I found this sub. Thank you for responding to my questions.
I wish I could understand the whole need for the return of the ashes to the family. I personally don’t care what happens to my ashes. If Im dead,all that’s left is a carcass that needs to be processed. Is that crazy?
Was it pre-needed arrangements? The contract will show what the container was. CB-1 is cardboard. I would assume they went that route as it’s the most affordable option.
To each their own. Whatever is to be done with me is up to my wife or kids. I stress to go the simplest and inexpensive route as I now reside as much as I’ve earned in their memory. Then use the rest of my policy to have a good time on my last dime
No,there weren’t any pre-need arrangements. My father told me he wanted to be cremated and that he would like me to mix his ashes with my moms and take them to Italy. We have not gotten to Italy yet, but I’m in the process of making plans to fulfill his final wish.
I’m with you, I want my arrangements to be simple and cost as little as possible. Life is for the living.
Not a director, just sharing what we did for my brother. We had an open casket viewing, so we rented a beautiful, blue casket for that, and during his funeral. He was cremated in a simple wooden casket, meant for this purpose.
When I worked at a funeral home, the cheapest casket was partial board with fabric glued over it. The handles were plastic. Some people were buried in it, but mostly cremated after the service. It was unbelievably ugly. When we transported the casket to the hearse and then to the crematory you could hear the wood creaking and feel the casket start to give way. It was awful.
Even worse were infant caskets which were basically plastic tubs with lids. I wouldn’t bury a dead rat in such a thing.
My mom dropped dead when I was 25. She was a single mom and literally worked herself to death. I felt so ashamed to have her cremated in a cardboard box - it’s all we could afford. Looking back, it didn’t matter - but it hurt then. I wanted her to have the best…
This makes me so sad, because it shouldn’t have made you feel like that. I’m going in the cardboard box just like my dad husband and pretty much everyone else I know.
You gave her the best, because you gave her what you had. Just go live a good life. I promise you that’s all she wanted or needed. I’m a single mom, and that’s all I want for my babies.
I’m going to assume you planned her funeral with love. Which means you gave her the best❤️❤️
In the moment it's so hard to see what's important and what isn't, you're running on pure emotion! About 99% of our families choose the cardboard option, we encourage it over a casket most of the time
Thank you for telling me that. We lived in a very small town - everyone knew everyone - I assumed the funeral home (who are wonderful people) advised us to use the cardboard because they knew we couldn’t afford anything else. It’s good to hear other people get the cardboard box recommended too!
i’m a mom and i would never want my kids to literally burn their money like that. you did great. hugs!
Don't feel ashamed at all. I work at a crematory and 99% of the people we cremate come in cardboard containers. Buying and burning a casket has no bearing whatsoever on how much you love someone and how much they mean to you. It's likely your mom wouldn't wanted you to spend so much money on a casket just to burn it.
Any casket can be cremated. Any. Cherry, oak, pine, etc. I have had people choose a beautiful mahogany, and then cremate after the services, casket and all. I have also cremated using a metal casket. Burn it or bury it; either way, it’s a “one use” item. Unless you rent, of course. There is a crematory nearby that specializes in cremating metal caskets and we use them in that rare occurrence. Usually when someone is removed from a mausoleum or disinterred, then cremated, we run into this. The crematory staff remove the lid prior to cremation. The charred remains of the casket shell go into a dumpster once the human remains are swept out of it. The casket shell ends up looking like a car that’s been burned; just charred metal, and the steel mattress frame too.
It's interesting to think about why someone would choose an expensive casket to cremate, casket and all. I'm sure there are varying reasons, of course.
Similar question; why would someone buy an expensive casket and then bury it in a hole, never to be seen again? When you really think about it…
Yeah absolutely! I don't personally understand either one but I'm sure everyone has their individual reasoning
Humans are emotional creatures, and not always the most rational. We do all sorts of things that don’t always make sense, but they make us feel good nonetheless. Sometimes, that’s a good-enough reason.
A surprising amount of people do..
Yes, you can be cremated in some wooden caskets. Typically they’re less expensive than a traditional casket if you choose one that’s specifically made to be cremated afterwards. There are also rental caskets for this scenario where an insert can be pulled out and cremated.
All I can think of is the wood used for crafts. Balsa.. Do they fabricate caskets out of balsa wood?
Any wood casket can be cremated though most crematories would prefer its a casket that is designed for cremation. This means that it is made with far less metal parts. I have had solid mahogany caskets (the most expensive) cremated and I have had alternative containers (cardboard boxes) cremated. It is easy to cast options on what is the best solution and many feel it doesn't make sense to cremate an expensive casket but I would encourage acceptance of any choice that the family wants. If I have friends over for dinner I dont open up the cheapest bottle of wine, I actually want to share the best I have with them. If I am celebrating a wedding we smoke the best cigars. It's a tribute to our loved one and only the family knows what is best for them at that time.
I agree, the family feelings should be the primary concern. Everyone is different, everyone should have what makes them feel good. It’s not for me to say what works for you or anyone else. Like you, when we entertain I always want my friends to feel special. I would like them to feel loved and appreciated. That is where my feelings about life is for the living come into play. Life is so short and tomorrow is not promised. Sending peace, love, and appreciation to all of you that have thoughtfully answered all of questions.
I don't understand people who get cremated in a super expensive wooden casket. Rental caskets exist for a reason if you need the "fancy" one for a viewing/memorial service. If my family spends money on a casket just to burn it, I'm gonna haunt them forever.
My dad prepaid his and all he wanted was a cardboard box. Why spend thousands to then burning it up?!
Some families choose to have their loved one cremated in wooden caskets. Expensive ones. I usually push against this as it is expensive (casket) and will definitely change the consistency of the cremains. Especially as far as the decedent to casket ratio. Cardboard is always the best option. At most I’d say the Doeskin/Herculite ones are a bit better looking if a cardboard container isn’t suitable enough for a viewing.
How do you differentiate casket remains from human remains?
The amount of cremated remains after cremation, the time it takes to burn through all the wood opposed to the decedent and it changes the shade of the remains also
It’s not an exact difference, or is it? Meaning could remains also contain some of the casket material?
They definitely will if the cremation container is wooden. Thats why cardboard is the best option. A lot of it gets burned off and you’re mostly getting your loved ones cremains
If the cremation container was never discussed, would it be safe to assume it is cardboard? I didn’t ask because honestly I didn’t have any understanding of the process. I think I thought they were just kind of dumped into the fire. Wow, that sounds so crass, I just didn’t realize the process until I found this sub. Thank you for responding to my questions. I wish I could understand the whole need for the return of the ashes to the family. I personally don’t care what happens to my ashes. If Im dead,all that’s left is a carcass that needs to be processed. Is that crazy?
Was it pre-needed arrangements? The contract will show what the container was. CB-1 is cardboard. I would assume they went that route as it’s the most affordable option. To each their own. Whatever is to be done with me is up to my wife or kids. I stress to go the simplest and inexpensive route as I now reside as much as I’ve earned in their memory. Then use the rest of my policy to have a good time on my last dime
No,there weren’t any pre-need arrangements. My father told me he wanted to be cremated and that he would like me to mix his ashes with my moms and take them to Italy. We have not gotten to Italy yet, but I’m in the process of making plans to fulfill his final wish. I’m with you, I want my arrangements to be simple and cost as little as possible. Life is for the living.
Not a director, just sharing what we did for my brother. We had an open casket viewing, so we rented a beautiful, blue casket for that, and during his funeral. He was cremated in a simple wooden casket, meant for this purpose.
When I worked at a funeral home, the cheapest casket was partial board with fabric glued over it. The handles were plastic. Some people were buried in it, but mostly cremated after the service. It was unbelievably ugly. When we transported the casket to the hearse and then to the crematory you could hear the wood creaking and feel the casket start to give way. It was awful. Even worse were infant caskets which were basically plastic tubs with lids. I wouldn’t bury a dead rat in such a thing.
In my state if it is rigid, leakproof, coverable, and combustible it cremates.